01x04 - Woofie Loves Snoop

[bunniefuu]

These were.

This is a story of a dog named

Buddy lost on the mean streets of

Hollywood, trying to get home to his

owner in Jersey. Hello bulldog named

Wolf, who's always got his back.

Yeah. OK.

OK, Stevo, this is Take 27. Let's try

to break some bones this time. Yeah,

Remember to take the lens cap off this

time, Knoxville.

What's up, *******?

Get out the way.

Wow, God.

They nailed by half the ******* crew. Now

he knows how Jessica Simpson feels. We've

never been chased this before. Where the

hell are we, Wolf?

As soon as you're back in

my jurisdiction, your dog meat, whatever

that's so why is he letting

us off the leash? So easy

buddy. We don't cross the border.

To the only place on

earth where dog Catcher is

forbidden. The Promised Hills. Beverly,

that is.

What breed of humans is this? Fake hair

fake, ***** fake and the only thing real

on them is them Rolexes.

This is Officer Ethan with an Unleashed

Pets violation in progress. If you see

him, sh**t him. sh**t up with what?

Botox? Come here.

One purebred purchased by Miss Kathy

Griffin. Oh oh, thanks Doug. Is it

OK to feed them leftovers from my

plastic surgeries? They look the talking

dog. Shut your snout and try to

assimilate.

Yeah, don't quit you.



Marjorie.

You dropped it like it's hot. What I tell

you about your butterfingers parquet? You

know I find that a bit degrading and I'm

a dog. Ohh you joking? That's the DO

double G baby. How you going to get

cooler than the 2 legged?Treat other

two leggers like 4 legs. He's

too tall. Father, I need love.

What is this puppy love? I'm

just saying he's eye for human.

Poodles, please. I need a Snoop

Doggish Dog Dug dig. I do

dog something like like that ******

grizzly bear over there. Ohh. I

believe that's a bulldog, Sir. Let's

go, big pub. Hey, what am

I, chopped liver snaps? Tell him

we're A-Team wolf. Woof woof, don't bark

at me your glass, Beagle. I guess we'll

take your Bony ***** partner. Too Bony.

As ugly as just got my ***** out

of Beverly Hills.

OK, damn.

Snoop needs to pimp his muffler, you

know. I mean, it's filled the whole car

up with smoke. Sticky, icky icky smoke.

Ohh. Eminem's or TRL, turn them up.

Wake up. You

shady straight out of rehab I kicked the

sleeping pills and now I'm kicking off my

sleep management tour with big Snoop Dogg

Wicker Wicker snoops going on tour Dallas

cleaning Detroit Pittsburgh jersey. Yes

we can we get just say no dose

because if you snooze you lose.

The first show is tomorrow night at the

Staples Center.

What we're gonna do is hit you right on

the tour bus with Stoop, and I'll be

roughhousing with little Jeffy before I

know it.

I miss us.

Run down being hard all day. I just

want to kiss it back in my lazy

boy.

It's a beautiful day in my neighborhood,

a beautiful day full in neighbors. Won't

you be my beaches?

Snoop brags about on those records.

Snoop, it's Fridays, Mars night. Hey,

stop by later. Secrets and I are

going to do each other's hair. Want

to lick the spoon? Clanking. Use a

fool. Well, more for me.

Weird that spoon go.

What's the dillio helio? Well, hey,

neighbor Haley was just over here to

help me with the little gardening. You

know how proud I am of my

azaleas. Azaleas with Jennifer Garner. I

love that shizzle. Snoopy azaleas

are flowers. You lucky Duff. I can't seem

to grow nothing in my garden but grass.

I gotta give it up to snow. Man's

come a long way. We've been here 2

minutes and nobody's been shot. Yeah,

well, it's hard to pull a drive by

in a cul-de-sac. Surpassed Berg.

Welcome home, Master Snoop.

You're smoking jacket, Sir.

You were great in March of the

Penguins. You received calls from a

number of associates, a Marshall Mathers,



regarding your participation in the

forthcoming Sleep Management tour. And

no, I know I've been meaning to

sign those contracts. The way you coach,

you missed our big game. I heard about

this snoops peewee football team. Peewee.

These kids look like their kids have

kids. Listen, Green Bowl Packers, I'm

sorry I keep missing your games, but I'm

so damn busy with the music game, I

got y'all a couple mascots to make up

for it. Easy Hulkster.

Double wide formation.

Touchdown.

Umm, I never thought I'd put

a firecracker in my tailpipe. Y'all

improved and I ain't been home

to see it. Damn, there's so

much more to life than the

hip hop game Iceberg. Tell Shady

I apologize.

But I can't go on no tour.

I've earned the right to stay home

and chill from now on. I ain't

going nowhere. I'm kicking it in the

doghouse. Snoop Dogg is officially

retired. Ohh, no. Could Snoop back on the

road. Never mind that, buddy. How are we

gonna get out of here alive?

That's great. You don't make the NFL. You

could always get a job with the LAPD.

Osberg, that little Beagle, don't roll

too deep. Let's throw his ***** in the

backyard tonight. Big pump here. Can

sleep in my room. I need love.

All right, here's the plan. We stay up

all night and plan a way to get Snoop

back into music. Then he rejoins the M&M

tour and we head for Jersey. Then, Buddy.

Ohh. I'd love to help you out much, but I

think I should probably just stay in the

night with Snoop. Are you joking? You've

always had my back when I was trying to

get home. No. No. To help you out

tomorrow. You're turning into a flaming

house dog. Hey baby, I ain't no ball

fetcher. You heard. I just think that I

should get some shut out. I know what

I'm saying. It's Snoops being curled up

at his feet.

Where the hell am I supposed to sleep?

Ohh my back this

sucks. I'm

trying to sleep here.

Ohh the guy from Bad Charlotte. Hey, I'm

a big fan of people who hate you.

Punk rock forever.

Duffel bag. Ohh. No oral

contact, right? Sorry. Only nasal.

Wow, you were gone. I

planted azaleas. Hillary. How many

times? I gotta tell you,

babe, I'm not into flowers.

I'm punk. I used. Cheat codes

on video games. I returned movies to

Netflix late.

I know it's wrong, but I want

you to touch me finally. Ohh nothing

below the eyebrows.

Oh oh.

Ohh somebody take out his band

and stink 182. Hey gotta get

snooped back into music. A feud.

I'm getting soaked out here. You're

traitor. You're so loud.

It's so nice to kick back

with Juana Oprahs book club

recommendations and my compass slippers.

Where my slippers at dude, don't

stress. I saw him under the

bed earlier. I got you a bag.

What is happening to me? I'm turning into

everything I hate.

I'm turning into my my father's room.

I don't need no damn owner,

even if he is the coolest

human alive. I know how dumb

here, big puff.

I wish I knew how to

quit Snoop. I need love.

Umm.



I let this happen to

my main mutt, Wolf. Have

you lost your damn mind,

buddy? Yeah. Back off, squirrels.

Who k*lled? Easy Hong Kong

fooey. Chill. It's me, Wolf.

Ohh, you. Did you sleep well, pet?

I ain't no pet just because I wanted to

spend one night hanging out with my boy

Snoop, don't make me a house dog. Fine.

But now do you understand why it's so

important to me to find Jeffy? Yeah, I

suppose I could see how to be cool to

have an owner you're down with. But that

ain't me. That's you. Sorry I let you

down, dog. How could I make it up to you?

I'll tell you how you can lend a paw. I

need to **** *** Lizzie McGuire over

there. You think you could help? Mud?

Please let me show you how I got thrown

out of half the homes in Hollywood.

I can't think of anything I'd rather do

today than hit the racquetball court. How

about hitting me in the crotch with a

racket? It'll ache less.

Down. He said.

What is up?

Have ruined my flower bed. Sorry

you're in a huff, Miss Duff, but Master

Snoop is currently indisposed. I don't

care if he's in the can tell that

the O double G. If he don't stay

off my turf, he's messing with the UW

F and we'll be with Capital Trump's top

with you. Whatever. What?

We're about to set off the East Lawn W

lawn w*r. Give us some fur. Now let's get

it on perspective. For all y'all

enjoyment of song y'all could step with.

Y'all appointed me to bring rap justice

but I ain't 50. Y'all know it's not Grey

Goose and a whole lot of only describe us

as soldiers.

Ohh.

This has to stop. I want you. You

let me finish to March next door and

takes Snopes. Ohh I don't think that's

such a good idea. I mean Snoop raps

about sh**ting people. Well that's why

I'm sending over my top punk rock

boyfriend to get all good shot on his

ask about that. I've never actually been

in a fight per se. He ain't

a bad boy, He's a Spice Girl.

If you do this for me, I'll

let you get to second base. What?

Hand holding? No Duff diving. OK, I'm

on it. Wait, Punkin, I don't want

you going in alone. I'm calling for

backup between stars.

Aaron Carter, Jesse.

Cabrera, dude.

Cabrera.

Why are they called twin stars? Because

they're right. Tween who's who and who

cares? OK Bros, let's do this.

Yo, Iceberg, tell Snoop to get his A

double S out here. What did you just say

to my trusted man servant? He said could

could I borrow a cup of good? sh**t me.

I mean, sugar, don't sh**t me. Not that

you would, Sir. You've been messing with

my grass, threatening my dogs, and now

you think you can step to me?

Disney Channel. Part of

the game for one minute and all. Y'all

think I'm solved. We don't coach Snoop.

You gotta go on that tour and do your

thing. Now step aside and let us tackle

this.

Well, Ryan Cabrera, the highlights of

your career were in your hair, Osberg.

Dust off my mic, shine my gold

chalice and twist my fingers in the

middle.

West Side Jersey

here I come.

Please, please please please please

please please.

And I'll be thinking of you when I'm

playing with Jeff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all

this emotional. That's

awesome.

What's this Slim Shady's dressing

room?

That's what I'm talking about.

Does candy suck?

Little bit of Ohio.

Umm. What's

wrong with you? Did you eat

some of Snoop's brownies? No. Eminem's.

Eminem's.

This is like Rosie O'donnell's honeymoon.

Help somebody

help.

Yo, how did grizzly bear getting your

room? Ohh hell no. That poor dog got

my old sleeping pill stash. There's no

time to snooze.

Big pump, where are you?

Big pup, you came into my

life at a time when I

almost gave up on what matters

most, being real, being Snoop, and

Snoop rolls solo. I've been thinking

the same thing, Dog. It's back on the

road for me. That makes two of us.

Well this is awkward. So Snoop, what time

is the tour bus leaving? You want me to



bagel.

Well, there goes the only human you'll

ever love. What don't you know by now? I

was just playing up that owner nonsense

to give you a shot of getting home.

Really, it was disgusting having to

behave like a house dog. You know how

hard it was to keep up that act?

You did that for me. I told you

I got your back straight. Thanks, Wolf

Dinners on me.

I need your love and if you want to

give it to me girl, make yourself seen

how we win. I love you.