01x10 - Everyone Is Still Alive. No One Is Dead.

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

RED:
We got to find Green, fast.

- PURPLE: We got to find and k*ll Green, fast.
- Right.

Uh, I guess we'll just shove 'em
in the trash chute

or chase 'em through the vents?

[groans] But I don't have
squish bone syndrome like Lime!

- PURPLE: Wait!
- You have squish bone syndrome?

PURPLE:
No, Lime!

BOTH:
Lime built that weird g*n!

RED: It's just been sitting
in the kitchen this whole time.

PURPLE: Cyan and
Black were onto something.

[stammers]
Maybe Lime was, too!

- RED: We've got an impostor to hunt. Oh.
- Let's not die. Mm.

- RED: It's okay. We'll work on it.
- Mm. Also valid.

- RED: Yeah. Let's just go.
- Yeah. Right. Uh... Oh. Go.

RED: Let's see what
this bad dog can do.

♪ ♪

Huh. It doesn't do anything.

PURPLE:
It just sprays water?

Why-why did Lime think
it would...

Oh.

RED:
Welp.

PURPLE:
Ugh.

Green left Brown's hand here.

It's holding something.

Salt?

[gasps]

ORANGE:
Perfect. Except no cheese,

no sauce, no salt...

[echoing]:
no salt... no salt...

no salt.

[Green gagging]

Ugh. It's disgusting!

PURPLE:
h*!

♪ ♪

Guess we know what we got to do
with that g*n.

RED: Sure do. But
just in case I don't,

why don't you say it out loud?

PURPLE: We're putting
salt water in the g*n.

RED:
Okay!

♪ ♪

RED: g*n's ready to
go. But, uh, now what?

PURPLE: One of us is gonna
have to act as bait to draw them out.

When Green comes after me,

use this to take 'em down, okay?

RED:
What are you saying?

PURPLE:
The eggs are in storage.

We know that's where Green is.

You make yourself scarce,

and hopefully Green
won't be able to tell

we're up to something.

RED: At-at least take
some salt with you.

- That way...
- No.

I got to go in unarmed
and unseasoned.

Green can't suspect a thing.

RED: I can't let you
do that, Purple. I can't.

PURPLE:
You're the captain, Red.

You got to make sure
all this wasn't in vain.

So I'll lure Green
to the trash chute

and you come in
and blast them with salt water

and we'll eject that alien
into space.

Your cue will be me opening
the trash chute.

RED: Or when I come
up with a good one-liner.

PURPLE: No. Just when
I open the trash chute.

And if I don't make it out
of this alive,

this is the reason
I didn't see Black get k*lled.

I went back to get Heracles.

Make sure
they get a proper burial.

RED:
Purple, wait.

Look, I, uh...

I'm sorry about what happened
to Heracles.

You were right.

It wasn't their fault.

Their long poops
didn't do anything.

You were, um...

right about a lot of things.

PURPLE:
Thanks, Red.

RED: Are you sure
you want to do this?

PURPLE:
Hey,

it's no biggie.

[creaking]

♪ ♪

[inhales, exhales sharply]

[whispering voices]

[grunts]

[gasps]

[gasping]

♪ ♪

[panting]

Uh...
[panting]

[clinking]

GREEN:
Oh! Hey, Purps!

PURPLE:
What are you doing?

GREEN:
Just stress testing

the important, valuable ore.

Like a good little
unpaid intern, huh?

[chuckles]

Oh! And also trying to crack
open some more alien eggs.

But you probably knew that
already. [Chuckles]

You're the only smart crewmate
left.

Honestly,
I should've k*lled you first,

but you really helped me out,

casting all that suspicion
on Red.

PURPLE:
So you could've just been...

hatching babies out of the eggs
this whole time?

GREEN:
No.

Well, yes.

PURPLE:
Then why didn't you?

GREEN:
For someone I just called smart,

- you sure are asking some un-smart questions.
- [snarls]

I like to k*ll,
and I hate competition.

- Where's the fun in letting babies do all the work?
- [squeaking]

It's not like k*lling you all
was hard.

PURPLE:
Oh! I get it.

You must have been following
Orange's orders.

GREEN:
Orange?

Orange couldn't k*ll
a sunbaked worm.

[zapping]

♪ ♪

[squeaking]

[Purple groans, grunts]

GREEN:
Do you really think that idiot

had a single useful idea
in their entire life?

PURPLE: Well, they
obviously k*lled Blue.

[groans]

GREEN:
Are you kidding me?

I k*lled Blue.

And White.
And literally all the crewmates,

except for Lime,
who Orange k*lled

right in front of God
and everyone.

Look, you didn't know Orange
very well, but I did,

and they were a total dumbass.

PURPLE: [grunts]
I don't believe you.

GREEN: Seriously? You don't
think Orange was a dumbass?

PURPLE:
No. I don't believe that...

GREEN:
That it was so easy

for me to turn you all
against each other?

GREEN/CYAN: None of you
trusted each other to begin with.

[scoffs] It barely took
any nudging at all.

[Purple groans]

GREEN:
You just couldn't wait

- to start pointing fingers.
- [squeaking] - PURPLE: Oh, no.

GREEN/BROWN/LIME: What
are you even holding out for?

GREEN/BLUE:
Maybe you do trust Red.

Think they're coming
to save you?

[squeaking]

[Blue groaning]

[grunting]

GREEN:
You couldn't trust anyone.

That's why this all fell apart.

[goofy voice]: "You wanted
this mission to fail."

You wanted Red to fail.

[Purple gasps, grunting]

GREEN:
Come on, Purple.

Even if you manage to escape,

Red will just blame
this whole catastrophe on you,

and MIRA will pin
another stupid little medal

to Red's stupid little suit.

Right?

PURPLE:
Fine.

But I have one last question.

Is that really how White
sounded?

GREEN:
What?

PURPLE: I don't know. I just
thought White sounded like...

Um, well,
they didn't sound like that.

GREEN [Southern accent]:
"What, you don't think this is right?"

PURPLE: I mean, you
spent the most time with them,

so, uh, I expected something,
like, a little more...

uh, nuanced?

GREEN [high-pitched voice]:
What about this? Is this better?

PURPLE: Hmm. Nah.
It's not entitled enough.

GREEN: [scoffs] Oh, wait,
wait. Let me just try one more.

I've failed upward
my entire life.

RED:
That's my line!

[echoing]:
Captain's kick, kick, kick!

PURPLE:
You waited for the one-liner?

RED:
That was the plan! [Grunts]

♪ They'll find pieces of you
scattered on the ground ♪

♪ I am the mad man
in your dreams ♪

- ♪ Oh, we are the evil ones ♪
- PURPLE: H'yah!

♪ We need the planet
to demonstrate... ♪

- RED: Nice kick.
- PURPLE: Learned it from you.

Now, let's go get
that salt-soaker back.

RED:
Let's do it.

- [Purple grunts]
- Oh!

♪ Give into
what you cannot fight... ♪

[Zombie Cyan whimpers]

[grunts]

RED:
No...!

Oh, right, it's just salt water.

[metallic clang]

Yeah, wait, wait. Stop, stop.

[Zombie Blue
muttering gibberish]

[Red sighs, pants]

- [Red grunting]
- [Zombie Blue sputtering]

RED:
Now who's the smart one?

And hot.

[groaning]

Oh, come on!

[zombies growling]

[Purple groaning]

- [Zombie Cyan growling]
- PURPLE: I'm sorry. [Grunts]

I really valued our friendship.
I'm so sorry.

[Purple grunting]

[muffled groaning]

[high-pitched squeaking]

[Purple grunting]

- [Zombie White whimpers]
- [Red shouts]

[high-pitched screeching]

- [Zombie Cyan grunts]
- PURPLE: Sorry!

I didn't mean it!
I really liked what we had!

[growling]

[cartoonish horn honks]

- [Green grunts]
- [Purple and Red yell]

[both grunting]

- [Red groaning]
- [Purple grunting]

[Purple grunting loudly]

GREEN [singsongy]:
You can't hide from me!

RED:
Come on, come on, come on.

- PURPLE: Keep pumping it up.
- RED: But it won't sh**t.

PURPLE:
Just trust me.

What's wrong?

Scared 'cause your babies
aren't around anymore?

GREEN:
Hey, shut up!

PURPLE:
At least you're a better alien

than you were a janitor.

GREEN:
I was an unpaid intern!

[bellowing, gulping]

[laughing]

[smacking lips]

Hmm. Is that salt? [Gasps]

RED:
Wow.

PURPLE:
Wow.

- RED: Ew. Ew, ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew!
- Ew, ew. Ew, ew, ew!

[squirts]

PURPLE:
Well, glad that's over.

RED: Wait. Uh, Purple,
what about the shipment?

MIRA's gonna want
to know what happened

to all their Ore-Plus Eggs.

[sighs]
Ah.

Well, I know
you probably still want

to finish this mission
so we'll...

RED:
Let's dump it all.

PURPLE:
But the trash chute...

RED:
We'll open a bigger hole.

PURPLE:
You know that this will...

RED: Save our lives?
Cost me my career?

Or will it just give
a big middle finger to MIRA

for strapping us
to a m*rder machine

so they can get
a few more beans?

PURPLE:
Red... I don't know what to say.

RED: Then please shut
up and let me be cool

- for once in my damn life!
- [Purple grunts]

RED: Ready to tear
this mission a new one?

PURPLE:
Thought you'd never ask.

[Red pants, grunts]

[both sigh]

PURPLE: So, MIRA's not
gonna use aliens for fuel, right?

They've got to have
some other plan for them.

RED:
I don't know.

♪ ♪

PURPLE:
They're gonna try to split us up

when we get to Industria.

RED:
Yeah, I know.

But, uh, I don't want to be...

I don't want us
to not be friends again.

Um, are we friends?

[Purple sighs]

I-I don't know.

k*lling an alien together
doesn't fix... everything.

PURPLE:
But it's a pretty good start.

And we've still got a long trip
to Industria.

How about "coworkers"?

RED:
I can do that.

What's this? A trust ball?

PURPLE:
Ugh. My God, please don't.

RED:
Uh, this is what coworkers do.

Say a fun fact.

PURPLE:
Okay, here it goes.

My fun fact is...

- my real name is Violet.
- RED: Really?

PURPLE: I-I changed it
when I was in middle school.

RED:
You don't seem like a Violet.

An Indigo, maybe.

PURPLE: Oh, I had an
Indigo phase... in college.

RED [chuckles]:
Didn't we all.

Well, um, my fun fact is
that Cyan gave me a kiss

at the beginning of the mission,

and I've been really constipated
ever since.

PURPLE:
Huh. Are those related?

RED:
I don't know.

♪ Mm, look at us,
all our friends are gone ♪

♪ We're the only ones
not m*rder*d by an alien ♪

♪ We got no one else,
no one else to lean on ♪

♪ And I know, unsteady as I am ♪

♪ That I'm not who
you plan to take a stand with ♪

♪ Never imagined
when this all began ♪

♪ It would end here with us ♪

♪ But now everybody's dead ♪

♪ Everybody's dead ♪

♪ Everybody's dead ♪

♪ Everybody's dead ♪

♪ And I know
this doesn't seem too smart ♪

♪ But we've got our salty hands
and our two heavy hearts ♪

♪ There's nothing left
but to restart ♪

♪ Now that the rest are gone ♪

♪ Because everybody's dead ♪

♪ Everybody's dead ♪

♪ Everybody's dead ♪

♪ Everybody's dead ♪

♪ But we're not dead ♪

- ♪ But we're not dead ♪
- ♪ But we're not dead ♪

- ♪ But we're not dead... ♪
- ♪ But we're not dead ♪

♪ But we're not dead ♪

♪ But we're
not dead ♪

♪ But we're not dead. ♪

Keybot, Keybot, Keybot. Keybot.

Chirp.