03x08 - Move

[bunniefuu]

FRAN: Okay, we can't
make a habit of this

every time you leave the house.

ANNIE: No, I know.

I know, but I mean,

even though you told me
you're moving out a month ago,

I still feel like
I have to savor it.

- Well, Em asked me to move in,
and I couldn't say no.

I love Em.
- Yeah.

- And you stay at Will's
most nights anyway.

- Yeah, I know.

I mean, I'm so happy for you.
It's good.

I just--I don't know.
I'll go.

He's waiting.

But, um, can we still do
our special goodbye?

- Who's my baby forever?

- Me.
Who's forever my baby?

- Me.

[both chuckle]

- See, is Em
gonna do that with you?

- No, we make love.
- Ah, mm.

- Is Will ever
gonna do that with you?

- I'm gonna ask him tonight.
Yeah!

- Good luck!
- Thank you!

[upbeat music]

SINGER:
♪ Things change, people too ♪

♪ ♪

- I don't know how
you get away with this.

First, you seduce me,

and now I'm forced
to make you toast.

- Yeah, yeah, that's--
that's pretty much it.

- Mm-hmm?
ANNIE: That's how it works.

How is it going by the way?

I've really never seen anyone
make toast like that?

- Oh, it's amazing.

There's nothing shameful
about the George Foreman Grill.

- No, I mean, I'm impressed.

I honestly--
I've never had a boyfriend

who gets up with me
before 9:00 a. m.,

so you're already doing great.

- Well, children need to learn
science at dawn.

- [chuckles]
Yeah, yeah, that's true.

I mean, I don't know.
I'm jealous.

Like I'm dreading
going to work.

Everything is just
so f*cked up at "The Thorn."

- Mm.

- How about instead
I just stay here

and I be
your full-time housewife?

- Ooh.
- [laughs]

You know, right?
- Yeah.

- I think I can just be here
naked, vacuuming all day.

That's kind of my dream.

- It sounds like my dream.
- [laughs]

I'm not--
I'm not kidding though.

When--if we get married,
I'ma be naked all the time.

You cannot stop me.
It's gonna be a problem.

- Well, in my experience,
marriage is mostly fighting

about how I peed
on the toilet seat.

- [chuckles]

Well, I've never
sat in your pee.

I think that's something
to be proud of.

- Well, buckle up baby.
It's gonna happen.

My pee is your future
for the rest of your life.

- [chuckles]

♪ ♪

- I feel like crying...
- Mm-hmm.

- But I don't
really have tears yet.

- Yeah, I know.
- When it starts...

- Guys...
- It's gonna be--

- What's going on?

- People are saying that Sheila

found a buyer for "The Thorn."
- What?

- Some massive
news conglomerate.

- Neutral Source News.

- All their articles
are medical fear clickbait

like, "99 Ways
Sugar Is Child Cocaine."

- Okay.
What did Gabe say?

- I don't know because Ruthie
said he's not even coming in.

- He's not coming in?

- He's probably
on some Ferris wheel.

Mm-hmm.
- God, this is a nightmare.

- Amadi, Amadi, question.

- Amadi, is this true?
Are we being sold?

[all clamoring]
- Oh, hey, everybody calm down.

Just hang tight, okay?

It might mean some big changes,
but then again it might not.

- Oh, there's gonna be
big changes.

When my dad's company got sold,
he changed from pharmacist

to full-time alcoholic!

- Okay, there is
no reason to freak out.

- [whimpers]

- I'm freaking out!
- I know.

- I just started
a college fund for the girls.

Now I gotta pray
that they end up stupid.

And they're not.
They're smart as hell.

- I know a lot of dumb kids,
and your kids are smart.

They're going to college.
- Who knows?

Maybe it's for the best.

I mean, Gabe's checked out
the entire time.

"The Thorn"
is not what it used to be.

- No, I know.

Like, remember all those

cool, like, themed issues
they used to do.

Why can't we do stuff
like that?

Or actually,
why can't we have our own thing

where we're, like,
completely in creative control?

- God, I wish too.

I mean, that's why
"The Thorn" is gonna be

so hard to replace if we could
do sh*t like that still.

- I know.

Hey, do you think
it would be lame

if I wrote, like,
a eulogy to "The Thorn"?

Just about
what it meant to everybody

and what we're gonna lose
when it's gone?

- No one's
gonna be mad at you.

I say do it.

- All right, I think I will.
- Okay.

- [chuckles]

[soft dramatic music]

- Okay, this place is cute!

- Too blue.

I don't wanna live
in a blue house.

- Oh, real--that's--okay,

so that is insane to hear

because the walls are blue.

- I just don't want to settle
for somewhere worse

than where Annie and I
live now.

- Okay, okay, fine.

Honestly, I do think
it would be good

for both of you
when you move out.

- What's that's
supposed to mean?

- That you and Annie
have kept this, like,

college vibe going
for a long time,

and I think it'll feel
really good to grow up a bit.

What the f*ck?

She's got a garden!

She's got a porch!

- I'd honestly rather live
in Henry's horse stable.

- Do not--do not use
my horse son against me.

- [chuckles]

- Hey, they've got
a open house tomorrow.

Are you free?
- Fine, we're going.

- A garden and a porch!

WILL: Wow, your family house

is a slice
of Annie Easton history.

- [chuckles]

Actually, this lamp
is where I used to, like,

hide candy wrappers from my mom

'cause she was constantly
putting me on, like,

diets when I was
in middle school.

- Okay, right there?
- Yeah.

I would just, like, kind of,
when she wasn't looking, like,

stick them up in here.
Oh, my God.

No!
- Are they still in there?

[chuckles]
- Oh!

- Oh.

Little Annie.
- Too rough.

Can't look at it, no!

- You don't often see

devastating
psychological sorrow

described as
a childhood anecdote.

- [chuckles]

Oh, that's just the tip
of the iceberg, baby.

- How about we go
to my parent's house

and see my childhood collection
of T-shirts to swim in.

- Oh, wow, swim T-shirts.
Now I'm getting too horny.

- Oh, I can get that.

I mean, you haven't
even seen the shirts.

- [laughs]

[phone rings]

- Wait, oh, God,
I'm sorry, my parents.

- It's your parents.
They call a lot.

- I know they do.
Okay, wait.

Hi, guys!

VERA: Hi!
BILL: Annie, hi!

- Oh, Will is there too!
Hi Will!

- Hi, guys.

It's super weird that
I've been in your house now

and haven't met in you person.

- Yeah, well,
we'll be back soon enough.

You won't be able
to get rid of us.

- [laughs]
Yes!

Is everything okay there?

I think this is the longest
we've ever been away.

- Yeah, it's good.
I'm keeping an eye on her.

- Oh, yeah, you know,

I actually have a drawer
in Will's house now.

- Yeah, I'm figuring she could
just sleep in the drawer.

VERA: Well, with Fran
moving out, she may have to.

- Yeah, you know,
actually, we've been talking

about moving in together,
so I feel like,

you know,
by the time you guys get back,

you can come to dinner
at our house.

BILL: What?
That is great!

- That is wonderful!

Oh, that just
makes me so happy!

BILL: That's fantastic!
VERA: The best news!

[laughter]
- Yeah.

- Hey, so I didn't realize

that we were
moving in together.

- I know, I'm sorry.

I think I just--you know,
we've been spending

so many nights together,
and I knew

it would make them happy, so...

- Yeah, sure, and it's gotten

intense fast, you know?
- Yeah.

- It's the happiest I've been
in a long time, Annie.

- Okay, so don't you think
we should just do it then?

You know, you be roommate,
who I also have sex with.

- Annie, I want to,

but I'm still legally married,

and I can't just rush into...

It's not a good idea.
It wouldn't be fair to Mikayla.

- Mikayla, yeah, um,

I hadn't really thought
about her.

[chuckles]

I think I--I maybe thought
that you and Mikayla

were more done
than you really are.

- Oh, well, no,
we're splitting up.

We don't even talk.
I wanna be with you.

But I was with her
since I was 15.

- Yes.

- And you and I have
been together for two months,

and if I found out
she was moving in

with some guy this fast,
I would be hurt by that.

- I'm just annoyed that
I have to consider someone

that I don't know and who...

probably knows you
better than I do.

- Sure, but being sensitive
to her will make it better

for us in the long run, right?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

ANNIE: [chuckles]

- You okay?
- Yeah.

WILL: All right.
- Yeah, no.

- Okay.
ANNIE: Okay.

[BUMPER's "Red Brick"]

MICHELLE: ♪ All caught up ♪

♪ In a way ♪

- There's like


I just gotta find the one
that's f*cking my sh*t up.

- You know, I've never met
a good Mikayla.

They're all
little f*cking smilers.

- Yeah.
[gasps]

Oh, sh*t, I found her.
- [gasps]

- Ugh, she owns a bakery.

FRAN: Of course she does.
ANNIE: Oh, God.

- "Oh, look at me.

"I own a bakery,
and I have enough restraint

to not eat all of the stuff."

- Man.
- Whatever.

- The food does look good.
- Yeah, it does look good.

- Whatever.

- I actually do respect Will
for breaking up with someone

who has an endless supply
of baked goods.

- Yeah, yeah,
I guess you're right.

- I couldn't do it.

ANNIE: Ooh, now I'm
at the bakery's Instagram.

This stuff
I bet tastes like sh*t,

and I'm a human muffin,
so f*ck her.

- Good, you're handling this
really well.

- Yeah, I'm healthy.

Uh-uh, no, no, this is special.
This is very special.

I stole this from work for us

for our last night
in the house.

- Oh!
[laughs]

Remember when we first moved in
and we unpacked

and then we walked by the river

and we got wasted
by that bridge?

- I love that bridge.

- Do you think that we've
kept our college vibe

going for too long?

Like, we use each other
as a crutch to not move on?

- No, no,
a crutch is a good thing.

It helps you walk
when you got big, broken feet.

- Yeah, I think Em thinks
it's a bad thing.

Like, we run from sh*t
and tell each other it's fine.

- No, I think it's good
that we, like,

save a piece of ourselves

that they never get to see
because it's for us.

- Yeah, absolutely, thank you.
- Thank you.

- I don't know,
it just bugged me before.

- Yeah, well, we're perfect,

and everyone else can eat sh*t.
- [laughs]

SINGER: ♪ And I know
there are those nights ♪

♪ You cannot fake ♪

♪ When the dark's so big
you can't turn it away ♪

♪ Day by day ♪

♪ You give and take ♪

♪ ♪

♪ On and on
until there's something ♪

♪ ♪

♪ On and on
until there's something ♪

♪ ♪

MIKAYLA: It's a coffee, right?
- Yeah.

MIKAYLA:
And that'll do it for you?

Thank you so much.
Have a good one, bye.

- Hi, can I help you?

- Oh, oh, um,
could I get a small coffee?

MIKAYLA: Okay.
- And also a big--

or whatever size
reg--blueberry muffin.

MIKAYLA:
A big blueberry muffin.

- [chuckles]
Yeah, yeah.

- And the name?

- [quietly]
Simone.

- Sorry?
- My name is Simone.

WORKER: Here you go.
- Thanks.

- I had a friend in high school
named Simone.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, well,
it's a--

it's such a common name.
Simones are everywhere.

It's actually been
a really difficult thing

for me all over life

to just be so many Simones
and I'm always like,

"Who--who's that?
And I don't know."

It's been a hard life.

[sighs]

[knocks]

- Hey, you left
your coffee inside.

- Oh, thank you.
Thank you.

That's so, so nice.
Thank you so much, so...

- I think I know who you are.

- You do?
Okay, okay.

Then I'm gonna get out
of my car,

so I'm not weird and low down.

Okay.
- You're, um...

Uh...

You're Will's girlfriend,
right?

- Yes, and I--I came

'cause I just wanted
to kind of see who you were.

And I know that's not cool,

and I'm really sorry.

It's just I really,
really, really like Will.

- Oh, okay.

- It's just I've dated,
like, a lot of very bad guys

who didn't give a sh*t
about me,

and--and Will
is not like that.

Will is so special.

- You're right.
Will is special.

- I swear
I'm gonna leave you alone,

and thank you
for bringing this out,

and I'm--I'm sorry.
I really am sorry.

- Okay.

- And I know
I seem f*cking insane.

I'm actually really nice
and really normal.

MIKAYLA: Okay.
- Um.

Thank you.

Bye.
- [chuckles awkwardly]

[window creaking]

[exhales sharply]

- Annie, hey.
- Hey.

- I just wanted to thank you

for mentioning me
in the eulogy.

I've always seen myself

as the "sad prince
of 'The Thorn.'"

- Yeah, sure.

- And when you called me
"all the others," I sobbed.

- Oh, well, thanks, you guys.

I just can't believe
it's ending.

- You are my best friend.

- Oh, and you're one of
my friends as well for sure.

I'm glad you guys liked it.

Oh, sh*t, it's Gabe.

- I'm sure all of you
are looking

for answers right now,
and they are coming.

Some of you may remember Bongo,
one of the original

founding fathers
of "The Thorn."

- It's so clean in here.

I used to piss in a bucket
right over there.

- Bongo, my man!
- Horse c*ck, is that you?

- [chuckling] Yeah.

- [gasps]

Hey, I saw you
at the record store.

- Yeah.
- And so you're here now?

- Yeah,
I've always worked here.

- Oh, okay,
and then you were back there,

and then
you made your way here.

- I mean, I can go
different places.

- Amadi, Annie, office please.

- All right, well, guess what.

This here is pure grade



the kind they tested
on soldiers.

- I might need
some of that later.

- Uh, well,
this here is pure grade


they tested on soldiers.

- You already--
you already said that.

- [chuckles]
Oh, I did?

[chuckles]

EMILY: I'm sorry.
She's always late.

- It's okay.

Maybe I'll just show
this other couple first.

EMILY:
Oh, yeah, definitely, yes.

Finally,
the open house is almost over.

- Forget the open house.
I have an amazing plan.

- Okay, give it to me.
- Okay.

So you know
how the last few months

have been
pretty much perfect with us?

- Yeah, basically, yeah.

- Okay, so why change that
just for some pre-written rules

about how relationships
should evolve?

We should do things
our own way.

- What does that mean?

- You should move out
of your apartment

and move in with me and Annie.
Problem solved.

- Oh, okay, so I didn't know
there was a problem,

and I don't wanna
move in together

to check some
heteronormative box.

I wanna move in together
because I love you.

- I love you too,

but the idea to move in
kind of came out of nowhere.

- Oh, okay.

- And I said yes
because you were so happy

and it was
this romantic beach moment,

but I kind of feel
like you cornered me into it

a little bit.

- But you never said that.

And why are you acting
like this relationship

is happening at you
instead of with you?

REALTOR: Ready?
- Um, no, never mind.

Sorry.

[soft dramatic music]

I'm gonna stay
at my place tonight.

FRAN: Okay.
- Bye.

♪ ♪

- "If you were
any kind of misfit,

"you could pick up
this paper every Wednesday

and see something
beautiful...and defiant."

Well, that's a eulogy.

And it kind of echoes
some of the thoughts

I've been having
in the last couple of days...

which is why I bought it.

- What?
- What?

- I bought "The Thorn" back.
- Wait.

- Oh, my God!
- Are you serious?

- Sheila gave me a deal,
which I really needed.

I used all my book money.

My mom got her boyfriend
to kick in a half a mil.

He's 90 years old.

He thought he was signing
a birthday card.

I am the new owner
of "The Thorn"!

- Oh, my God.
- What?

Gabe, you are a literal hero.
For real?

- I can't believe this.

- And I'm bringing Bongo back
just like the old days.

- That's my old pee cup.
Here, look, I'll show you.

That can live on there.
MAUREEN: My pens!

[Bongo chuckles]

- That Bongo?
GABE: It's gonna be perfect.

You just keep on
with the management sh*t.

You continue with
the yes fat queen articles.

I'm still the owner.

Nothing's gonna have to change.

- Okay.

Wow.

Um, but, Gabe,

maybe some things
should change?

And, actually, Amadi and I
have--have some ideas.

- Yeah, yeah,
like we could take

a stronger approach
to the creative.

- Yes, yes.
- Oh.

ANNIE: And actually...
- Great, she's standing.

- Well, I just think
that it should be you

and me and Amadi,
the three of us do it together.

- Gabe, you are
way too good of an editor

to just be a figurehead,
so, like,

I don't--let's actually do it.
Let's actually be a team.

- Right?

- Okay, looks like
little miss teapot

is about to boil over
with ideas.

- Well, I just think that maybe

I could have
a leadership position.

AMADI: And I want to work
with artists again.

That way
the paper looks special.

- Yeah, I mean, if we want
"The Thorn" to be risky,

then we have
to take some risks,

and I think the way to do that

is for you to share
creative control with us.

[low, percussive music]

- Okay.

Why the f*ck not?
Let's get to work!

- Really?

- I'm lucky to have you guys.
- Thank you.

GABE: Yeah.
- Thanks, Gabe.

- I mean--

I--no.

Let's tell everybody
what's going on.

You guys!

I've got some great new ideas!
- Oh, my God.

- Hi!

I mean, where do
I even f*cking start?

I'm the new editorial director
of "The Thorn,"

and I just can't believe,
like, I went into work thinking

that I had no job,
and now I'm like--

I'm the boss.

I guess I'm one of the bosses.

Right?

Are you okay?

- Did you go
to Mikayla's bakery today?

- No.

I--I went to a bakery,

and then she--
she was just there,

and so it was--
you know.

- Are you lying to me?

- I--I--I did go,

but--and I did know
it was hers,

but it was just--
I wasn't gonna talk to her.

- I don't understand why--
why you would do that.

- I just--I really wanted
to see what Mikayla was like,

you know?
I am sorry.

- Annie, I hadn't spoken
to Mikayla in four months.

Four months!

How do you think I felt
when I saw her calling me?

- No, I--I know,

but you have to admit
that you haven't really told me

anything about her
or your relationship, and so,

you know, now that's dictating
our life together,

and so I feel very insecure.

- Well, why not just ask me?

Maybe I could've shared
some of this with you sooner.

But I feel like you
didn't consider me at all.

And between this
and you telling your parents

we're gonna move in together,

I--I think that we should
slow things way down.

[sighs]

- Okay, okay.

I...

I don't want to.

I don't wanna
slow things down at all.

But I--oh, f*ck.

Um, okay, okay.

I--I am sorry.
I am.

I don't really know what
I'm supposed to do right now.

- Me neither.

- Well, what do you want?

Do you--
do you want me to go?

- Maybe.

Maybe you should.
- Okay.

Okay, well, then I will go.

[melancholic acoustic music]

♪ ♪

FRAN: Wow, honey!
- Oh.

- Is this
the editorial director

I see before me?

- Yeah, it is,
but I don't know.

I can't really
be happy about it

because I think I just ruined
my relationship with Will.

- Oh, wow.

Well...I think I just
f*cked things up with Em.

- No!
- Yeah.

- Oh, my God,
we both f*cked it up?

- Yeah.

Everything was perfect,
and I ruined it.

What is that?
Why did I do that?

- I don't know.

Man, I feel exactly the same.

Like, everything with Will

has been so good and so easy.

And I just--I, like,

can't believe that someone
would truly like me.

I just have to,
like, look for holes

and...f*ck it up.

- Yeah.

Well...

At least we have this.

- Wow, you knew!

- Somehow, I knew.

- I don't know.
What do we even do know?

- I don't know.
I feel like...

maybe if we wanna let them in,

then it's you and me
who have to change.

- I guess.
I just--I don't know.

It's been the two of us
for so long,

and that's...

always been the only thing
that felt really good.

- Mm-hmm.

- And in my mind,

you're, like,
always my first call

and the first person
I wanna tell everything to.

- Yeah.

Yeah, the idea of that changing
really scares me.

- Horrible.

[sighs]

- This is the greatest love
of all time.

- I know.

- Wow.
- Wow.

- [chuckles]

- To us.

- To us.

[Cat Power's
"Nothin But Time"]

[soft pop music]

CAT POWER: ♪ I see you, kid ♪

- We'll just fix everything,
yeah?

- Yeah, yeah.

we'll...just fix everything.

CAT POWER: ♪ And you're
just trying to get by ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Your world
is just beginning ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And I know this life
seems never-ending ♪

♪ ♪

♪ But you got
nothing but time ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And it ain't got
nothing on you ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You know what you got to do ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You ain't got
nothing but time ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And it ain't
got nothing on you ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Let 'em in ♪

♪ One by one ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Keep 'em safe ♪

♪ From all the harm ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Let 'em in one by one ♪

♪ ♪