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04x05 - Caitlin, Nick, and Geoff Take You to Church

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Make Some Noise". Aired: June 13, 2022 – present.*
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In each episode, three comedians compete as players, improvising scenes based on prompts from Reich.

04x05 - Caitlin, Nick, and Geoff Take You to Church

Post by bunniefuu »

Tonight, in a step down

from her "After Midnight" appearances,

it's Caitlin Reilly.

Immediately realizing
he's locked himself out

of his apartment, it's Nick Mandernach.

- Thanks, Sam.

Discreetly slipping me
a 20 to tip the game his way,

it's Geoff Ross.

- Oh, wow.

Hey, always a pleasure to be here.

- Costa Rican currency.

- Don't worry about it.

They're all here to-

- "Make Some Noise."

- Welcome to "Make Some Noise,"

the game so good we spun it off unchanged.

I am your host, Sam Reich.

Here's how the show works.

I have here a series of
improvisational prompts

our players have never seen before.

Isn't that right, players?

- That's right.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

- They will, to the best of their ability,

fulfill those prompts,

I will award them corresponding points,

and the winner will go home
with the coveted Golden Ear

because legal said we
couldn't do real ears.

Players, are you ready

to rumble?

Yeah.

- Caitlin picking a character
early and sticking to it.

Ooh.

- First up, a little warm-up minigame.

This is a minigame that we like

to call "Take Some Direction."

How it works is, players,

I'm going to give you a
single line of dialogue

to repeat over and over and over again.

As I do, I will give you direction-

- Great.
- Micro adjustments,

if you will, to affect your performances.

Caitlin, no direction to start out with.

- Okay.
- Neutral.

Your line from "The Sixth Sense,"

"I see dead people."

- I see dead people.

- Nick, give me a little bit different.

I see dead people.

Geoff, give me
a little bit different.

- I see dead people.

Caitlin, OK brag.

I see dead people.

Nick, a teacher
trying to regain control

of the classroom.

- Hey, hey, hey.

I see?

Dead people.

- Thank you, everyone.

All right, let's talk Southern Hemisphere.

Geoff. Me?

Personally?

- Well, I see dead people.

Caitlin, trying unsuccessfully

to remove a hair from your mouth.

- When I was five, a lot of
scary things were happening

and um,

I, um, it turns out that I, um,

I see dead people.

Nick, like Yoda.

- Dead people, I see.

- That's about right.
- That was impressive.

Geoff, as a testimonial
in a medicine commercial.

- Sometimes you may end
up seeing dead people.

I see dead people.

Caitlin, finding the right pitch.

♪ I see- I- ♪

♪ I see- I see- ♪

- The acoustics in this room are bad.

Hold on.

♪ I see ♪
♪ I see ♪

♪ I see ♪
♪ I see ♪

- No, no.

- I'll do it again.
- Nick, to the person

who just cut you off in traffic.

- Hey, I see dead people!

Oh, I see dead people!

- Oh, that was very threatening.

- That was really scary.

- Thank you.
- He's gonna be next.

- Thank you.
- And finally, Geoff,

in a version of "The Sixth
Sense" that's all frogs

so every word is now ribbit,

but the acting is the same.

Ribbit. Ribbit ribbit ribbit.

- And that is a minigame,

which brings us straight

into round one.

Okay, it's
the big stuff, guys.

It's just me and two dads.

- Got it.
- You go get 'em, kiddo.

You got it.
- Thanks, Dad.

- There's gonna be an episode
at some point I come up

and I do no prompts.

- It's gonna happen.
- I just let 'em riff.

Caitlin.

- Yeah, yeah, Sam, what's up?

Nicole Kidman's AMC-ish ad

for The Container Store.
- Oh, boy.

Sometimes
you walk into a room

and you find yourself not
knowing where to put anything.

But then you come to The Container Store

and there you find places
to put your things.

Containers, boxes, bags,

boxes with bags inside of them.

Containers with boxes
with little bags inside

of them with zippers.

And there, magic is reborn.

Because here, we're family.

Here, it's The Container Store.

- Loved that, Caitlin.
- Loved it.

- With just a little bit-
- Got it.

- Of Olive Garden.

- Nicole Kidman loves the Olive Garden.

- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah.
- Olive Garden.

- 14 dazzling points

on a huge silver screen-
- Whoa.

- For you, Caitlin.
- Wow.

- Thank you.
- Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

- Nick.
- Right.

A cereal mascot with a healthy,

secure attachment style

to their cereal.
- Oh.

Ah, yeah!

It's time for Rick's Flakes,

that taste you can't do without,

except you can

'cause you're enough with
it, you're enough without it.

It's amazing to have it in your life,

but sometimes it's just
not gonna happen for you,

and you can survive that.

Oh, it's got that sugary taste
that you just can't resist.

But maybe it's not
right for you right now.

In that case, just go ahead
and on with your life.

Find friends and find loved ones

who do wanna spend time with you.

That's the Rick's Flakes.

Uh-huh.

- 15 grams of added points

for you.
- Oh, thank you.

- Ooh.
- Geoff.

- Hi, Sam.

Your dad grills
the waiter about the bill.

- Uh, hey, chief, yeah, thanks.

So uh, I was just lookin'

at the damage, and it says here, okay,

there was a side of fries.

My burger came with fries.

So what- just- Stephanie-

what kinda operation are you
running here, okay?

'Cause I'm not giving you
a tip until you answer

some really serious questions,

okay?

What is a jalapeno popper?

Okay, we did have those.

- Let's say 12 points we didn't pay for

for you.
- Pay for, yeah.

- Caitlin.
- Hi.

A country star talks
about her humble upbringing

as the child of a hedge fund manager.

Sure.

It's
just like such a reward

and honor to be one

of Forbes' "10 under 10."

I sort of started playing the guitar

when I was two years old.

One of my father's homes
is sort of on this lake,

and well, I was young,

but we were sort of surrounded by water.

I mean, I, I guess you
can call it an island.

And for my fifth birthday, I
walked into my second bedroom

and there are all these guitars.

And I just thought, well, I
guess I'll start playing 'em.

And my father got me a singin' coach

and paid the head of RC Records

to sign me,

and blackmailed
the American Music Association

to have me perform

at the Grammys.

And I'm just really grateful

and I just love writing music.

Oh, Caitlin,

"10 under 10."

- Mm-hmm.
- Five self-made points

that secretly have a trust fund for you.

- Thank you.
- Oh.

- Nick.
- Yeah.

A Boy Scout leader levels with you

about what skills really matter in life.

- Let's talk about badges.

Now, I see a lot of you, you've
got your fire-making badge,

you got your swimmin' badge.

Some of you have got your medical badges.

That's all great.

Unfortunately, they will
be of no use for you.

The important thing is to locate
talented friends in college

and remain with them
throughout the duration

of your life.

Very quickly, you're gonna discover

that you cannot make it on your own.

You do not have the wherewithal.

If you can just identify
it among your peers

and then take their side,

even in situations when you shouldn't-

- Mm-hmm.

- You will find success.

And that is this badge right here,

Maintaining Bonds of Friendship

with More Talented Peers
That You Discover in College.

Take those knot badges.

I want you to throw 'em in the fire.

Guys, good luck to you.

And again, look around now.

I know who the talented one is.

It's on this side.

- You left some room.

- Well see, you don't want
to do it all for them,

but you need to scaffold.

- Yeah, that, my friend, is worthy

of one merit badge point.

- g*dd*mn right.
- Ooh.

- Geoff.
- Hi, Sam.

- Last prompt of round one.

A jury foreman puts some pizzazz

into the verdict.

Your Honor,

these were horrendous murders, vicious,

that left many a,

a, a, a limb askew, or
askance, or a-missin'.

But I wanna assure you, judge,

I wanna assure you, lawyers,

and I wanna assure you people here

who took time out of your day

to come on down here

and see justice played
out in your community

right in front of your faces

that we took it seriously.

And that's why we came up with a verdict.

And it was not easy.

We had to bring these people

back from being passed out.

- Bring 'em back.

To make a decision

about this young man's life.

He had everything in front of him.

And the goal is for us to decide,

was he guilty?

I can't say it brings me pleasure,

but it does bring me a sense of honor

and responsibility to
be the one to tell you,

we, the jury, Your Honor,
find the defendant not guilty.

Ah!

You said pizzazz?

- That was pizzazz.
- That was pizzazz.

- Pizzazz.
- Incredible.

Thank you.

I blacked out.

- This court finds you
guilty of earning 72 points

- Ooh!

- Which brings us to our next minigame.

This is a little minigame

that we like to call "Hollywood h*!"

How it works is, players,
I am going to ask you

for the names of movies that start

with a particular letter of the alphabet.

If I like the sound of that movie title,

I'll then ask you for the logline.

If I like the sound of that logline,

I will ask the three of
you to enact the scene.

Are you ready for me, players?

- Yes, yes.
- Yeah.

- Yeah, yes.
- Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Hollywood,
Hollywood, "Hollywood h*!"

- F.

- "Forgetting Sarah Marshall Again."

- "f*ck It."

- "Frankfurters All Day."

- "Finagling Through Life."

- "Friend, Singular."

An extremely lonely man has
made it his life's mission

to get just one friend.

Let's see it.

- Damn it.

- Hey, Kurt, hey, what's up?

- Hey.

Hey, Kurt.

- John, Clara.

- We're so happy that you can
come to our engagement party.

- Yeah, totally.
- Yeah.

Absolutely, yeah.

- Yeah, 'cause you both invited me.

- Well, I mean,

we are engaged.
- Well, yeah, of course.

We're kind of a pair, yeah.
- I mean, congratulations.

- Yeah, we're a pair.
- Congratulations.

Yeah.

- It can only be one of you.

Hollywood,
Hollywood, "Hollywood h*!"

- S.

- "Sucks To Be You."

- "Sailing Through the River Kwai."

Oh.

"Sydney Sunset," mm.

"Samaritans."

- "Sanskrit on My Arms."

A woman who is going through a bad breakup

gets a Sanskrit tattoo on her arm,

but it turns out to be a clue
to find a national treasure

that's been long forgotten.

Let's see that.

- Okay, okay, okay.

- You know, usually when we do this,

you know, it might be like a parent's name

or something like that.

- Okay.
- But yeah,

whatever you want, really.

- Whatever you're comfortable with.

- Yeah, can I see the book?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, sure, let me grab it.

Let me grab it.
- Okay, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

- Ooh, God, that's dusty.

Yeah, yeah.

We've not had this one out in a while.

- You guys are like so friendly here.

Are you guys dads?

Yeah, we're both dads.

- Yeah, we're both dads.

- We're both dads.

- That one's actually really interesting.

That's really beautiful.

- Oh.
- It kind of looks like words,

but it's not

in a tattoo.
- Yeah, totally.

- Do you know what it says?

- You know, I don't, but it's
kind of moving on the page.

Let's go for it.

Okay.

Ah.

- Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle!

Oh, oh, my God, my God!

Oh, my God.

Hollywood,
Hollywood, "Hollywood h*!"

- D.

- "Dad Time."

Three really cool dads

have decided that-

- Oh, I don't care what they do.

- Let's see it.
- Oh, no!

- Ah, yeah.

- Ba, ba ba ba ba, ba ba.
- Oh, my God, it is time.

Oh.

- It's time for a "Brat" Saturday.

- "Brat" Saturday.
- Let me tell you something.

That Charli xcx, she's hilarious

and

a really good singer.

- Yeah, incredibly talented.
- Deuces.

- Have you guys heard
of this show, "Friends"?

- Oh.
- Wait, plural?

- Sorry, "Friend."

Oh.

- You know, it's about the guy,
he can only have one friend.

If he gets more, he dies.

- Oh,

so that's his weird deal.
- Oh.

Yeah, yeah.

- Oh.
- Oh, my gosh, you guys.

You guys heard of this?

It's a, it's a, it's a streaming service.

It's called Dropout TV.

My, my kids love it.

- Is the host always
wearing a seersucker suit

and a bad tie?

- I don't think they're bad, but some may.

- Don't be a f*ck' brown-noser.

Is that an-

- That brings us to round two,

where our players will
now test their talents

in teams of twos.

- Hmm.
- Ah,

I see.

- Caitlin.

- I don't know if I can do
improv with my two dads.

Oh, we're about to find out.

- Oh, gosh.

- Nick.
- Yeah.

Realizing mid-date
you're going viral.

- For me, the whole thing right now

is just authentic connection.

- Right.

Like without that,

forget it.

- Yeah.

No, the last couple of guys
I've dated, one was a doctor.

- Oh, okay.
- And one worked

in like pharmaceuticals.

They were always at work.

And I was like, "Hang out with me."

- Yes.
- "Be with me."

- Totally.
- "Take me to The Grove."

- Yeah.
- And like the long surgeries.

I was like, how many f*cking
people need surgeries anymore?

Right.

I mean, yeah, a lot.

Yeah, a lot do.

- Oh, my God, hold on, I'm sorry.

Sorry, sorry.

So I have a dog,

and my dog has an Instagram page.

- Oh, okay.

- I posted this like funny
video of my dog at a cafe.

- Oh, wow, yeah.

- And I put it on TikTok

and it has 10,000 likes
in the last 48 hours.

- That's incredible.

Awesome.
- Yeah.

- Hey, congratulations. That's so cool.

Thank you.

This is um-
- Yeah.

- This is f*cking crazy.

Oh, my God.

- You were mentioning
what you do for work.

I mean-
- I'm in marketing.

- It's gotta be a lot of uh-

- Holy f*cking sh*t!

Jennifer Garner reposted it!

- Oh, my gosh. That's awesome.

I love her.

- Jennifer Garner reposted my TikTok!

f*ck this!

I'm f*cking out!

- I love Jennifer Garner.

- Oh, my God.

A "Tosh.0" amount of points.

Oh.

- Which brings us to Nick and Geoff.

Hi, Sam.

Immediately
regretting holding up a bank.

- Everyone down!
- Everyone down!

- On the f*cking ground!

- Get down right now!

- We come from generational wealth.

We do.

We don't need it.

- We don't need it.

- Hey!
- We don't need it.

We don't need it.
- We don't need it.

- You know what? We don't need it.

Everybody, go back to it.

- Our dad's invented a little
part of the microphone!

You don't even know this,
but he gets a little piece

every time you buy-
- Every mic!

A microphone!

- He gets six cents!
- Every microphone!

- Come on!
- Continue to withdraw

money normally!

- If you're here trying to
get a mortgage, keep at it.

Your dream home is around the corner.

- You, too, can ascend to those heights

and you'll take care of your family!

- You, too, can invent
a critical component

and get paid every time it's used.

It's a small amount of
money, but it adds up.

It adds up.
- It's f*ck' ownership!

You heard of it?

Get yourself a patent.

- Get yourself a patent.

- Get yourself a patent right now.

Get yours, stand up.

- Yeah, get up.
- Get up.

- You, come up.
- Sit up.

Sit up.
- Come on.

Who are you? Who are you?

Grab the patents.
- The manager?

I want you to walk to the vault

and I want you to think
of a small improvement

on that vault.

- That's all you need.

- Get the f*ck' patents!

Get in the f*ck' vault!

Wow, you two.

Peas in a pod all day.

All day.

- All the points in the safe.

- All right, nice.
- Nice.

Congratulations.

- Which brings us back to Geoff.

- Hi, Sam.
- And Caitlin.

Yes.

Breaking the news
about the affair doubles

as the birds and the bees talk.

Hey, sweetie.

Hi, Daddy.

- Sweetheart, um-

- Yeah, Dad?

- Daddy made a mistake.

- Uh-oh.

Did you go potty in your
pants or something like that?

Don't be embarrassed.
- There was like

a fluid exchange,

but that's not it.
- Oh, God, no.

- You know how Mommy and Daddy
love each other very much

and that's where you came from,

right?
- Yeah.

- Mommy's been working a lot.

- At the museum, huh?
- Yeah.

Daddy has been also
putting in a lot of time

at the office and-
- And I've just been home.

Yeah, you've just been home.

You've just been home.

Yeah.

- So while Daddy was working-

- Mm-hmm.

- There was not a mommy,

but like a, a, a person with mommy energy.

- Dad, you're so serious.

Yeah.

And, uh, Daddy fell in
love with that person

who we'll call Jane
'cause that's her name.

Hold on a second.

- Okay.

- Because it's against the law

to be in love with two people.

- Bigamy is criminal.

You're correct.

But that's if you're
trying to marry someone

and you're already married.

Slightly different.

Infidelity is ill*gal in
some states, not this one.

So technically,

no crimes were committed-

- Okay.
- In our local jurisdiction.

- Okay.

Daddy, you're using a lot

of words I don't understand.
- I am so sorry.

Complication.
- Your dad f*cked

your pediatrician.
- Oh.

Okay,

Linda.

- Dad!

- Linda.

- Coming in with the button.

When two points love
each other very much...

- Ah.
- Mm.

- Caitlin once more.

- Yes.

- And Nick once more.
- Oh.

Sully, the pilot,
tries to use his heroism

to get a table at a restaurant.

- Hi there. Yeah, your name?

Your last name?

- Oh, no.

Wahhhhhh

What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?

I guess we're gonna fall in the river.

We're gonna go in the Hudson River.

Oh, no, no.

I'll do it safely.

I'm the pilot.

Da da da.

Oh, everybody's safe.

- Mr. Sully Sullenberg.

Yes.

Okay, great.

Sorry.

Uh, great, I think we
should have that ready

in about 20 to 25 minutes.

- Oh, my God,

you saved us river.

Oh, my God, everyone got off just safe.

- Okay, I think, okay, okay.
- I don't wanna-

- All right, okay, yes, yes.

Okay, you're a hero.

You are.
- You're a hero, Sully.

- Looks like we have a booth
opening up in the back left.

Of course, we'll-

- You ever flown a plane, son?

- I'm giving you what you want.

- Yeah, a presidential point of honor.

- Nice.
- Oh.

- Nick.
- Yeah.

And Geoff.

- Ah.
- Hi, Sam.

A blackjack dealer

introduces some new game
mechanics they designed.

- There you are.

- Thank you.
- There you are,

there you are, there you are.

And guess what? A third card.

Oh, okay.

- Now here's the thing.

You can trade it.

Excuse me?

- You can trade it.

You can find anyone at this table.

You can trade it.

- Is it any card or just this third card?

So okay, so the third card-
- Just the third card.

You can trade it with someone.

- This is fun, fun.
- It kinda makes it

a little more collaborative.
- Okay, so it's

like wild card.

- Exactly.
- Okay, great.

- But if you do-

- Oh?

- You owe them a favor
for the rest of your life.

- Oh, okay.

So if I hold onto the card,
there's no favor owed.

- There's no, you won't-
- There's no like life debt

or anything like-
- A newbie.

No, you will not owe a life debt

- if you don't trade the card.
- Okay, okay, okay.

- But if you do-

- But if I do-

- Whatever it is, whenever
it is, you cannot refuse.

Okay.

If I trade the card, I
will owe a life debt.

Can I pre-agree what that
life debt is gonna be

with the trading partner?

- Absolutely.

- Okay, okay, we're back.
- No, of course-

- It's fun again.
- Of course you can pre-agree,

but there is a hitch.

Okay.

- If you pre-agree-

- Uh-huh.

- Then the third player at the table

gets to k*ll one of you.

Oh, wow, okay.

- But only one of you.

- Is that up to the third player?

- If they choose to not k*ll one of you,

that is when we enter phase two.

Oh, okay.

So what is phase two?

- And in phase two, they
now have to pick a child,

one to live

and one to banish.

One to live, one to banish.
- Wow.

Just banish?

- Yes, yes.
- But for a child,

that's almost a death sentence.

- Without a doubt, exactly.
- Okay.

It's something to consider.

- Okay, wow.

- See, now you're thinking like a pro.

- There's a possibility that
child could survive banishment,

come back stronger.
- Exactly.

Like a Spartan situation.

- Totally.
- Okay.

- And remember, it's not your child.

I can't stress this enough

to the new players.
- Okay, okay.

Well, that was a question.
- It'll be the

third player's decision.

- Okay, they also choose which
children to choose between.

In a phase two situation-

- A phase two situation.
- Please remember,

you're choosing to make a pre-agreement

with the second player.

- Yes.

- That activated means the third player

can either k*ll one of you-

- Okay.
- Or can banish-

- In a scenario where
I survive the k*lling,

which is not a guarantee-
- Yes.

That's exactly right.
- Okay.

How are those children selected?

- Okay, well, now we're in phase-

- Excuse me, sir.

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm here

for the potential banishment.

- Oh.
- Oh,

that's an adorable child.

- You're late.

And I'm really sorry to say this,

but your dad made a choice.

You're gonna go ahead and just
keep walking out that door.

Wow, wow.

- Yeah, five points that
the house will win back.

- Oh, yes.

- As we move on to the
last prompt of round two.

Geoff-
- Uh-huh?

- And Caitlin.

Yeah.

Your friend who complained

all board game night just won.

- So it is your turn to roll the dice.

Okay.

- Here we go.

Come on, James.

- Here I go.
- Okay.

- Oh.

- Five.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Oh.

One,

two,

three,

four, five.

Oh, my God, James.

Jesus.

- I f*ck' won it.

James.

I f*ck' won it.

After all the bullshit, I won it.

- Bullshit?
- Oh, God,

it feels good.

- James, my kid's sleeping upstairs.

- That's a you problem.

Oh, it feels good.

This game f*cking sucked

and I won it.

- It's The Game of Life.

I mean, it-
- Dude, it took three hours.

How?

There's the two of us-

- Oh.
- And we go round

and round in circles.

You know how that goes.

You came over, you're
going through a divorce,

you wanted some levity, I
brought out The Game of Life,

and you were being a d*ck
to me all night long.

- I feel f*cking great.

- Okay.
- I am on the g*dd*mn moon.

I'm not even thinking about Jessica.

- Okay, let me get Monopoly.

- Wow.

Love that, players.


last turn to you both.

- Mm-hmm.
- Which brings us

to our final minigame.

This is a little minigame

that we like to call "Locals Only."

How it works is, players,

you will start a three-person scene

in a particular location of my choosing.

I will then ask you to
make that scene more

and more local to said location.

I will give you a
physical location instead

to start the scene.

That location is a palace.

- Buckingham.

Yes,
it was built long, long ago.

- Oh, nice.
- Nice.

- These floors are made of elephant tusks-

- Oh, wow, hey, that's-
- And 19-karat gold.

- More British.

If you see here,

we have the portrait

of Mr. Buckingham himself.

- John Buckingham himself.
- Which is what-

- And was his skin really the Union Jack?

- More British. - We have the family.

The royal court.

Oh, there's
somethin', eh?

It does has it, dinnae?

- Eh.
- Gentlemen.

Well.

- If you would please follow me

over here

where we have compliment-
Even more upper crust,

- please, Caitlin.
- Complimentary biscuits

and tea.

- Oh, my.
- Ah, biscuits, tea.

Here we go.
- Elephant tusk it is.

- Yay.
- More c*ck.

- Yeah.
- The only thing I know

is a freakin' beer biscuit.

- We've got beer biscuits
in the gift shop.

- Here we go.
- And now you're

all The Beatles.

- You know,

I've got a song idea.

- Okay.
- Because-

- Hey, they got us

some good beer biscuits.
- If we go to-

- You know what they're
saying about beer biscuits?

- Yeah, John.

- It gets you drunk
before it gets you full.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's a good one, yeah.
♪ It gets you drunk ♪

♪ Before it gets you full ♪

♪ We're gonna eat the biscuits ♪
♪ Eat the biscuits ♪

♪ And they'll have baguettes ♪

♪ Let's eat ♪
- And now you're all

Jason Statham.
♪ And we gonna ♪

You know what I realized?

- Oh! Hey, hey!

- f*ck' hate music.

You know what I realized?

- No.
- I f*ck' hate you.

- You didn't need to do that, love.

Hey.
- You didn't have

to stab yourself, mate.
- You didn't have

to stab yourself.

- You stay back or I'm finished.

- Stay back-
- You're not gonna do that

to me mate.
- Stay back or-

- And you're not gonna say that.

You're not gonna do that to him.

How dare you?

- Where do we go from here, boys?

Well-

That brings us

to round three where my
players will now hold hands

and jump into the abyss together.

Caitlin.
- Yeah?

- Nick.
- Yeah.

- Geoff.
- Hi, Sam.

The tension in this
reality show reunion episode

is going to bubble over

at any moment.

- And I will say that Thursday afternoon-

- Oh, okay.

- Is when I realized that
actually we were never going

to close in escrow.

- I told you that we were
going to close in escrow,

but then you pissed off the
client like you always do.

And that is why I no longer want

to be your real estate
mega-million Beverly Hills

in the Hills Hollywood Hills home partner.

- God, are we even gonna
talk about the Range Rover?

Or are we just,

we're not gonna talk about it?
- Oh, my God.

- Okay.
- It's not about

the Range Rover.
- Wow, wow.

- It's about trust.

- Okay, yeah, yeah.
- When you say there's going

to be a six-CD spinner in a Range Rover-

- Stop that, stop that.
- And we get in and there's-

- Stop it.

That is closed.

That's a closed book.

Don't open that.

You won't like what you see.

- I guess we're not going to talk

about my 30th birthday party.

Oh.

Damn it.

- It was Cirque-
- I'm staying,

I'm staying, I'm staying.
- du Soleil themed

and you showed up

in cargo shorts.
- You know exactly

why that happened.
- And you ruined

the entire vibe of the party.

- Wow, here we go.

- If I'm not having fun at my birthday,

then it's not a good

birthday party.

What?

- A point for every interruption-

- Ah.
- To you all.

- Wow, then we're doing very well.

- Caitlin.
- Yes.

- Nick.
- Yeah.

- Geoff.
- Hi, Sam.

New parents subtly
keep their hot mess friend

from holding the baby.

- Hey, f*ck' m*therf*ckers.

Hi.

Hi.
- Hey, 'ey.

- Hey.
- 'Ey.

Hey.

- 'Ey.
- Hey.

♪ Let me see the baby ♪
- Okay, look, okay, okay.

♪ Let me see the baby ♪
- Okay, okay, okay, one sec.

♪ Ha na na ♪
- It's a little loud.

A little loud, a little loud.
♪ Na na na ♪

- Sebastian's asleep.

- Sebastian's asleep.
- Sebastian?

Okay, well, I'm Ariel.

- That is his name, hi.
- Hi.

Ah.
- Okay, okay.

How are you?

- My dad's name was
Sebastian and you know that.

- Yeah.
- So it's a-

- Okay, well, he died before
you and I were friends, so.

Um, is there,

you guys have, ooh, ooh!

Can I have some of this vodka?

I need like just a-

- That's fine, yeah.

Go for it.
- A palate cleanser.

I Ubered, I Ubered, I Ubered, I Ubered.

- Don't k*ll me.
- No one was saying anything.

- Yes.
- No one was saying anything.

- Um, uh, uh-
- Um, uh, uh, uh-

- So-
- Please.

- I have a car problem

and I need some money.

- We know.
- We know, we know.

- We know.
- I need

like $10,000.
- Claire, I know.

- Okay.
- I know.

- Because it's being impounded.

- Yeah.

- And I need to get it out-

- Claire.
- Of the impoundation.

- Claire, we know.
- Yeah.

- Claire.
- And then I need to take it

to the shop-
- Yes.

- Claire.
- And it needs to be fixed

so it can be driven.

- Right.
- Claire, this is a-

- But we can talk about it later.

- Let me hold the baby.
- Okay, whoa, whoa, hold on.

- Sorry, Claire, Claire, your
hands are covered in oil.

Just covered.
- Your hands are-

- Oh, my God, I forgot.
- Covered in oil.

- Okay, um-
- Clean them.

- They're so-
- Is there a sink?

Is it this thing in the-
- Yes, this is a house.

- Yes, yes.
- Okay.

- It's a house, and yeah.
- It's a house.

Indeed we have-
- Okay.

- Claire, I have $10,000 for you.

- Yeah.
- You do?

- Yeah.
- Yes,

I have $10,000.
- Oh, my God.

- We just need you to
not come to the baptism.

- What?

The 10 grand is yours.

- The 10 grand is yours.

- The part-
- Okay, I thought you

were talking about my baptism.

I was like, wait a second.

Are you guys like weird
Christian freaks now?

- What?
- Like I'm down,

but how do I get there

like if I don't have car?
- No, no, no.

- No, no, no, we're saying.
- No, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no.
- That's the opposite

of what we're saying.

- That's the opposite.
- What we're saying-

- Okay, okay.

- Okay, no, what we're saying

is do not come to Sebastian's baptism

and you can have this $10,000

for your-
- That's the exchange.

- Complicated car problem.

- That's the exchange.

- I thought that I was the godmother.

- No.
- No.

Absolutely not.



- I love doing tummy time with myself.

- Which brings us to the
last prompt of our game.

- No!
- No.

- No!

- Caitlin.
- What?

- Nick.

- You're not doing it, Sam.

- Geoff.

- No!
- Don't do this to us, Sam.

Here I go.

A student film that somehow touches

on every issue.

- You guys, I can't believe Greg's gone.

It's just really f*cked up,

you know?

He was so depressed and he had ADHD.

- Yeah.
- ADHD kills.

You can't pay attention,

that could result in a
terrible, tragic accident.

- Or you're drinking
at the freaking wheel.

- I wish he would've
done his homework better.

- If only he had done his homework,

he would've known that
microplastics are everywhere.

They're everywhere.

Greg, how can you be so foolish?

Everything he had was a plastic container.

- So many water bottles sitting

in his car overnight, half drunk,

and he would just keep using them over

and over-
- I'm sorry-

- And over again.
- But if you're

buying action figures,

you're putting a g*n
straight to your head.

But you know what I admired

about him?

His polyamorous lifestyle.

Uh-huh.

- He was really sexually fluid

and that's what I loved
about him the most.

- And he kept saying,
"Don't kink shame me."

- Yeah.
- But at some point,

there does have to be a line.

- You guys, don't judge him.

- Ugh.
- He had ADHD.

- Wow.
- He can't see

without his glasses.

Where are his glasses?

He can't see without his glasses.

- 44 incredibly deep points
if you're 22 years old

for the three of you.

That brings us to the end of our show.

Our winner tonight,

Geoff Ross.

What?

- Geoff,

you are the recipient-
- Oh, my God.

- Of the coveted-

- Ah.
- Golden Ear.

- Ah.

- That does it for us
here at "Make Some Noise."

Tune in next time for
more of the Game Samer.

I'm Sam Reich and that
sounds pretty good to me.

Goodnight.