01x08 - The Trials of Robocles

[bunniefuu]

All right, people, let's settle down.

Hey, what's with the guards? How can I

explain? This morning, I drained my bank

account, set fire to my apartment,

changed my identity, and made a run for

the border. Unfortunately, I was

arrested. And dragged back here because

today is the day I have to

teach you about your bodies.

I know it's horrible. I'm not comfortable

talking about my body. You learned all

the gory details in these you're

operating manuals. But one warning, don't

read them at night. It'll freak you

out so bad you'll have run off

with your PJ pants. So let's get

started with. Puberty.

Awesome.

I won't do this.

He's operating manuals rule. Ohh watch

this.

I turned into a nightclub.

Sorry you set off my. Delete that

device. Hang on.

Seniors.

That's so cool. That's because they've

gone through puberty. Puberty is a one

way ticket to cool town. Plus once we're

through it, they give us motorcycles.

We're going to look so hot, dude.

I've got my motorcycle, Mr. Shark. I'm

gonna jump over your tank every day.

Maturity rules.

According to the manual, puberty should

have started 5 minutes ago. Do you feel

any?Different. Have to

wait until next year.

We're becoming men. We'll also go through

an awkward growth spurt.

OK, this has gone in a direction

I don't like. What's next? It says

we're going to get pimples.

I can't get enough.

Give me back my numbers.

Me too.

All kinds of awkward.

About the text I sent.

Low blow, dude. Come on man, give

me a break. I'm on an emotional

roller coaster. Puberty is kicking my

****. I'm sick of your feelings. You

want some fine rocket arm fire? Ohh

yeah. Sinus steamer.

Subway.

Alright, you got it out of your system.

Get out. Rocket

legs fire.

I'm happy to see you beating each other

up, but I'm troubled that it's fueled by

anger, He said I had womanly hips, he

knows it's a problem area and the proper

response was to beat me with my own leg.

Ohh I see you 2 are experiencing.

Beautiful journey into manhood, isn't it

glorious. You must be very excited about

going to Jockstrap Island. Ohh, I'd never

heard of it.

Generations, all young robots have gone

their jockstrap island to prove their

manhood. Once there, you will relive the

struggle of the mighty robot. Please.

Legend has it that when the great hero

went into puberty, Robo Please travel to

a tiny island in the Asset Sea where he

fought Robo Clam 3000 today.

Survive a day on Jockstrap Island before

they're considered young men and given

really cool motorcycles. Ohh. A

good time and when you get back,

we're gonna take those motorcycles out

for a ride. Nothing like the open

Rd. just you, the highway and other

chaps. Good times, good times.

Now here we are, Jockstrap Island.

Wake up little boys, this time

to become men.

They called me Chief Sucker punch. Ohh no

flip flopping. I'm here for my Topper.

You can have the choppers if you survived

the island. And all of that are slim and

none. So take a last look at the robots

you came with. Because the person to your

left will die. The person to your right

of you will die. The person in

between, the person on the left and the

person on the right who will die. Well,

not everyone dies. There's a gift shop.

Yes, if you managed to survive, you can

purchase Jockstrap Island funding money

that you can then use in the store to

buy a souvenir T-shirt or foam rubber

hand. OK, let's get started. You can

fight. The way to rubble clean shrine

like men. Or run like babies to the

beach where there's a boat to take you

home to your momma's. But we get the

motorcycles either way, right? Yes, but

only by fighting your way to rubble clean

shrine will you truly become men. So

let's go to the beach, right? You should.

Please try to find Robo Clean shrine.

Here's a map. So what if we have

a map? This island is swarming with

monsters. If you work together, you can

defeat the monsters. Work together. All

of these losers point me to the beach.

But only by battling the monsters will

you learn about yourselves and each

other. Learn about each other.

The point of this thing is to fight the

monsters. Cannot make it anymore obvious.

Just great. I ran out of

magic smoke. Ohh.

Hey guys, are these your trees?

Ohh yeah, here we go.

OK, everybody calm down. We just stay

cool, dude.

Free or not, we've come to help.

Safe and sound, you have nothing to fear

from us, we are your friends.

Why would you?

Trying to help.

Cut it out, you love it. Doesn't

have to be this one touched my

arm. They can't get you

if you close your eyes. Oh my God.

Guys, look.

We found it.

We're not gonna mention this part, right?

Umm.



Another monster is coming.

Did you just hear me out?

There's no way.

What this island teaches us.

It wants us to learn the motorcycles

are inside us. You know these checks

are right. I'm fighting. Yeah, me too.

Steve will fight.

Don't run babe. You're stand your

ground, respect you and.

It's a pretty one. The

best of us? What did he say?

The motorcycles are inside us all. Wait,

the motorcycles are inside us all? Look

what I found on page 49.

Did you poop a motorcycle? Don't you do

that? You just had to flick the switch.

Where is it? I think you know.

Sweet.

You're alive. The monsters aren't real,

this whole island is. Just tell them

that amusement park and you can't tell

anyone about this. Please is vital

to the culture of insaneness. If you

expose it, think of the consequences. I

can't think of any. I'm drawing a blank.

OK, fine, but everyone sends their kids

here and we make a ton of money at the

gift shop. I won't go back to my paper

route. I won't. If you want us to keep

your secret, we want a 50% discount.

That's highway robbery.

All right, my little man.

It's funny, after fighting the monsters

and pooping the motorcycles, you know

what makes me feel like a man? The

leather jackets I got at the gift shop.

Oh, you got that right. Nothing more

manly than tight leather chaps.

This is going to be a long ride.

Motorcycle. Yeah, we're gonna poop.