01x06 - Field of Screams

[bunniefuu]

Umm.

Taking some.

Rusty Creepies.

You may be wondering why I broke into

your homes in abducted you. No, that

happens all the time, almost every day.

Well, this time it's because I'm the

Mutilation Bowl coach and you've all been

drafted onto the team.

This year we've ditched all that. Okay,

indestructible armor for a slimmed

down aerodynamic uniform made from

a light breathable fabric. These

are just jock straps. Fire

retardant jock straps. Watch.

Wow.

I see your hand, yes umm I don't

know how to play this game. Ohh. There

are 73,411 rules but once you learn them

it's simple. The ball attaches itself to

a player and begins consuming his fluids.

Your teammates were mercilessly sh**t you

with lasers. That's why I suggest you

Burrow. To the ground and suffocate the

ball. Then again, I'm your coach, and

your coach is also trying to defeat you

anyway. If the field feels like it, it

will turn to lava if you'll have a

jousting tournament.

If not, you can choose to pass the

ball or let it eat you. But you

must do this above ground and before the

Dragons attack. See, it's all about

strategy. What exactly? Well, let's shred

some faces. That was

brutal.

Ohh I love you.

We were on the team too. Why aren't we

getting that kind of attention? Tackle

Bud is the team captain, the alpha dog

man. And ladies love the alpha dog. You

man enough to be the alpha dog?

Absolutely. Ohh, yeah. Bark for me. Woof,

that's a puppy. Give me out. Louder.

Look at the scary alpha dogs.

Now sniff the ground.

No sniffing there. He must smell your

dog. But I don't have a dog. If we're

going to take over the team, we need to

get in shape. Who better to help us than

the very robot we intend to destroy?

Students become the masters. Hey, Coach

wants you to help us get in shape. His

exact words.

OK, let's do this students

become the masters. This will

work your core. Ohh.

Nice job, let's turn these things up to



That personal space.

Right.

I'm the alpha dog. Ohh go get them

ladies.

Umm.

Hey, I heard you cry babies.

I like to play. Why can't the baby play?

Ohh Yep, you totally nailed us. I've been

watching this thing around, waiting to be

given an opportunity, dreaming about the

spotlight instead of going out and

getting it, scratching your butts and

then smelling your hands. I didn't do

that. Did you let the man talk?

Just wanna be stars. They need the

Titanic. It's a physical enhancement

c*ck. He'll make you faster and it'll

make you stronger. And quite possibly

it'll make you infertile. Who's first?

Sounds like gasoline and feet. What's in

it? Angel Fox. What do I know? It comes

out of a pipe down by the playground. You

wanna be stars or not?

The side effects might be dangerous.

OK then. Tastes like gasoline and feed

boys. Most of the team was dissipated

during the pregame pep talk. I'm at the

bottom of the barrel. Actually, I'm

underneath the barrel. Miles beneath the

barrel. What are you saying? You 2 are

all I've got. Get ready. You're playing

tonight.

Run for your lives.

I'm seriously bummed that tonic didn't

work. Yeah, if you can't trust creepy

strangers in locker room selling you

mystery drinks, who can you trust?

Justice.

Go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's my boy. Thank you for ripping my

arms off. How's it feel to be a *?

So.

In fact, it's the point of the game.

Now that's dedication.

Hi ******** I am such a huge

fan.

Hey.

Dude, what are you doing?

Deal.

Got any more of that tonic? Welcome

to exciting high school mutilation ball

action.

Restaurant.

Fabric of reality. If they keep

this up, they're going pro. Boy

howdy, they've even seized the analogy.

Ohh this is Tony Ride my insights. I've

forgotten most of my childhood. I can't

stop shaking. I'm having terrible dreams.

Totally worth it. We need to get more

real. Alpha dogs don't need to drink

stuff that comes out of a pipe at the

playground. Do you want our autographs or

not?

An amazing opportunity.

Dude, that dudes the janitor and the

Pro Mutilation Bowl coach. I'm here to

sign this school's three best players,

Russia Blasters and Thrasher Blasters.

Like that's three, right? Tonic messed

with my numbers. Hello. What about Taco

bot? What's that kid I told you

I'd normally take?3.

Become the masters.



I'm a little envious voice. Been along

time since my glory days on the

mutilation ball field. You were a player.

What happened? No, time is not that

cruel. And the tonic that is a few

long term side effects, but hey, what

ain't bad for you these days, right?

Got a big game?

Welcome.

Blue ba*ls.

I like that the parents, man. It's

like the most beautiful thing you've ever

seen.



Don't have legs?

It's just like the mutilation boy you

played in high school, except there are

no fans and no stadium, right? And you

don't keep scoring. The game never ends.

Now you're getting it, and it's not

really a game, but a full blown w*r that

you provoked just for the fun of it.

Exactly. Just a few.

See differences not no worry

about, just drink the tonic.

Either of those nasty side effects. This

is one of the fun ones.

Yeah, I pictured something else entirely.

I really don't want to drink this. Just

give me the tonic. I'll do it myself.

Ohh those ba*ls are already swollen with

rain. Did they get any antibiotics?

OK.

What have you done?

You are exposed to win. You were supposed

to get caught up for the pointless battle

with no end. Now thy league is ruined.

No more mutilation bull. No more browse

danger sticking.

Could we get me to a doctor?