(ominous music)
(bells chiming)
(upbeat music)
(dramatic instrumental music)
- [Benji] I think we should
skip right to the f*cking end.
(pencil scratching)
Here I am in the
local cruising ground.
No, I'm not about
to get noshed off.
I'm about to get dumped.
- I'm calling it a day, mate.
Like, I can't do this anymore.
f*ck you!
Calm down.
You're having a good time.
You weren't
complaining at the time
when I was paying for all your
f*cking holidays were you?
You were looking forward to
be sitting here right now.
You're lucky to have spent
time with me for that time.
Like, just be thankful
for that time at least.
Spiteful face f*cking you're
overstepping the boundary
and that's it. That's
the f*cking end.
(dramatic music)
- [Benji] I really wish
that was the f*cking end.
(melancholy music)
- [Jake] You had a
good run. f*ck off.
(Benji screaming)
(melancholy rock music)
(phone ringing)
- And even though
it's been like, what,
three months?
Still f*cking hurts. (coughs)
Sorry that I sent you all them
f*cked up messages last night
I ended up getting
really f*cked.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.
I f*cking love you.
I f*cking absolutely love you.
You're a f*cking prick.
We don't have to have dinner,
we can just meet up
and we can just f*ck.
Like I'm not even hard.
Just really f*cking struggling
with it all at the minute.
Really, really sorry.
(melancholy music)
This is the fifth guy that
I've had round this week.
(The Dom sniffing)
The Dom.
(lively instrumental music)
Rough and ready.
He also works at my
local supermarket
and he lives with his
elderly mum, Joanne.
- [Joanne] Hi dear.
- [Benji] She's dead sweet.
- All right, all right.
Do you like poppers?
- Yeah.
- Do you?
- Yeah.
- Sniff that one.
(Benji sniffing)
How open are you now?
Do you like being f*cking open?
Yeah you do. (spits)
There you are.
- [Benji] Have you ever thought,
how the f*ck did I end up here?
Now, this moment here
(kids laughing)
is the first time I remember
getting really,
really turned on.
- That's it, yeah. (panting)
f*cking smell that.
f*cking yeah.
- [Benji] It is
gonna be so awkward
when I buy milk off
him in the morning.
(Dom smacking)
(bell dinging)
- [Mum] Are you just
gonna play with that
or are you gonna eat it?
- I feel sick.
- Oh, come on.
I made that from
scratch, darling.
(sighs) Look at
the state of you.
Is this you now?
This is it?
- My mum.
(upbeat music)
She wasn't perfect...
- But do you know what?
It would've been so
much f*cking easier
if you were just with a bird.
Do you know what I mean?
Look at ya.
Jesus Christ.
I thought we could
have fun together,
but I want a happy g*y.
I'm giving you advice.
I'm telling you not to go
out drinking every night
and you are.
So if you're not
gonna listen to me,
you are not moving in.
- [Benji] She's way better
than she used to be.
- I wanted a f*cking
grandkids. That's all.
But oh no!
Old f*cking selfish
f*gg*t chops.
Listening in are ya?
f*cking poof.
What about A*DS?
I did not say that.
I would never say that.
- You did.
- Are you seeing your
mate Daniel recently?
- [Benji] Daniel from
year 11 at school?
No, I've not.
- Yeah.
He just moved in
with his misses.
Look at him. He's doing
really well for himself.
And look at you.
State of it.
- You know he is
fruity don't you?
- Fruity?
- Fruity.
- What?
- What do you think we were
doing upstairs in the bedroom
when we were kids?
- [Mum] Are you
actually kidding me?
(upbeat music)
- [Benji] Did you ever
have that mate in school
that just wanted to wank
with you all the time?
Well, I did.
And it never made you g*y
unless you actually...
- Benji, what the f*ck
are you doing, man?
Bruv.
- I thought that's
what you wanted.
- You thought that's
what I wanted?
You f*cking kidding me?
I swear to f*cking God, Benji,
if you tell anyone about this,
I'll f*cking k*ll you.
Okay?
I'll f*cking k*ll you.
f*gg*t. (slaps)
- [Benji] He was back in my
bed the following weekend.
- (sighs) I just
want you to be happy.
I really do.
- It's really difficult
to like get it out my head
and I think that's why
I just keep drinking,
'cause I'm like,
I just keep thinking
about him all the time.
Do you know what I mean?
- He don't wanna know you.
So why should you
wanna know him?
- Well, I just can't get
him out of my head mum.
Like it's really f*cking me up.
- But you think he's
thinking about you?
All I want for you
is to get yourself a job,
stop selling pigeons.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- I'm Ryan. This is Benji.
We're knocking on doors today
collecting money for
Save the Birds UK.
It's 50p a month.
- Save the what?
- Save the Birds.
- Oh!
- In the UK. Yeah.
It's 50p for one
bird sponsorship
or it's 75p for two
birds per month.
- Okay, so what kind of birds?
What do I get? What bird?
- So we're still doing
the lovely Christmas cards
that you get sent
each Christmas.
We've also got some
really nice badges
that get sent out.
- Ooh, what color badges?
- Yes, you can get
blue, green, pink.
- (gasps) What color blue?
- We've got swimming
pool blue, baby blue.
Exactly like this?
- No, I don't like it.
What about a sapphire blue?
- Yeah, I think there's
sapphire blue as well.
- Oh, wow.
- Listen lady, are you gonna
sponsor a f*cking bird or what?
- Ryan, AKA the Bellend.
He has lost me so much
commission over the years,
but he's got a good heart
and he's pretty fit.
You f*cking taking
the piss mate?
- You know what? f*ck off.
(door slamming)
- (laughs) What a f*cking
tight b*tch she was.
- Were you just born with
a f*cking massive nob
on your head, mate?
- Mate, I cannot be
bothered to do this anymore.
Can we please go and
find some real birds?
Find you a cuckold mate.
- How the f*ck have
you got any money?
- I've got business
savvy, haven't I?
- Yeah.
- Hey, what's up?
What's the matter with you?
What's up?
Oh, come on mate.
Come on, let's go
find some real fanny.
Come on. It's bank
holiday weekend. Please.
Please.
I know you don't like Fanny.
I know you like the d*ck
but this is for me, isn't it?
Because they're always
like, "Oh, my God,
he's so g*y,"
and I'm like,
"Oh, I'm not. I'm f*cking
straight." (laughs)
- No, I'm just not
really in a good place
at the moment mate
at all, like at all.
- Oh, come on mate.
What else would you be doing?
(lively instrumental music)
(water pattering)
Hey, come on mate.
- All right.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yes. Come on then.
Let's f*cking get the fanny.
Come on. Let's go mate.
Whoa! Here we go.
(energetic club music)
Come on. f*cking suck that boy.
Come on then mate. Whey!
Benji, wants the D. Come on!
When you take it up the
arse, does it feel nice?
I mean I've had a
finger up there before,
but...
(ba*ls tapping)
Do you suck c*ck as well? Yeah.
I don't think I could suck c*ck.
I could probably have it sucked
if I was absolutely f*cked.
Do you know what I mean?
(ba*ls tapping)
What's the biggest d*ck
that you've ever seen?
I don't understand, right,
how do you make sure that
there's no sh*t up there
before a d*ck goes in?
(ba*ls tapping)
When a guy comes round,
how do you know who's gonna
take it and who's gonna give it?
What is the biggest d*ck
that you've ever seen?
Is it nine inches?
Is 10 inches?
Is it 11 inches?
- [Benji] I don't fancy him.
- Why don't you come over
here and show me yours?
- [Benji] I don't.
- Yeah?
I'm f*cking so hard
for you right now.
- [Benji] He's straight.
I don't fancy him.
All right. I f*cking do.
And it stops me thinking
about him anyway.
(energetic club music)
- Yo. Excuse me.
- f*cking hell.
- How long are you gonna
be on that pool table for?
- Dunno mate. Ask him.
- (sighs) f*ck sake.
- Still think I'm g*y? (laughs)
Not me.
That's my friend.
- He's the g*y one.
- Exactly.
- Are you all right ladies?
All right, mate.
No trouble tonight, you.
- f*ck off.
- See you down there, yeah?
All right, mate.
- You all right. Is he g*y?
- He is proper g*y.
- Prove it.
- What?
- Prove it.
At least try to pretend.
Any trouble you's
are f*cking out.
- Is it busy in there mate?
- Yeah, it's rammed.
Evening ladies. You okay?
(energetic club music continues)
- What the f*ck?
Ryan.
- Oh, Charlotte.
- Oh, so you can't
find your own man
so you come to a g*y
bar and take mine?
- Your man? That ain't your man.
- Get out my face.
- [Ryan] She was
kissing me first.
- Get off me!
She was kissing you first.
Was she f*ck.
Why are you getting involved?
Stink like a right little slag.
(girls screaming)
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- [Benji] Of course
we get kicked out.
(upbeat rock music)
I should have just
stayed at home
w*nk*ng and crying
into my pillow.
Yeah, he'll do.
He's well fit
but he's into Ryan.
I'll take it.
Anything to stop
thinking about him.
I managed to get
him back home and...
You're fit. (laughs)
- Yeah. Where's that lad?
The one you're with tonight.
- Huh?
- Where's the lad we
were with tonight?
- What, Ryan?
- Yeah, whatever his name is.
- He's straight.
- What do you mean
he's straight?
- He's straight.
- Well, is he not coming
back with us tonight?
- Nah.
- Oh, so it's just me and you?
Let's get another guy over
from the internet, yeah.
- What?
- Yeah. It'd be really fun
like the three of us.
- Ah, f*ck it.
- [Man] Yeah, it'll be... No?
- No.
- [Man] What do you mean no?
- Nah, just me and you.
- (laughs) Yeah.
So just me and you then, yeah?
- Yeah.
- All right, fine.
Well, take your
clothes off then.
(laughs)
Yeah.
- [Benji] He doesn't
even want to be here.
Yeah. All right.
I've not been to the gym.
He thinks f*ck it.
(melancholy rock music)
There's a monster in my head
And so it continues.
A drink, a f*ck, a grinder.
A drink, a f*ck, a grinder.
I just do anything to
stop thinking about him.
(music continues)
I think about
going to your house
but I remember the
restraining order.
I think about
going to your work.
I think about phoning you,
but you've blocked me.
I think about anything
I can do to reach you.
They say the best way to
move forward is to go back.
(music continues)
(dramatic music)
(pencil scratching)
This is me not on the edge
of a nervous breakdown.
I was having a bit of an
independent traveling phase,
which meant an 89 flight to
Amsterdam for the weekend.
(lively music)
I think I felt love
I've sure felt pain
I've tasted sun
When I've kiss the rain
And I've learned to win
As I've learned to lose
As I've learned to see
The good in you
Somehow
It's moments like these
that you wish a sign would
spring up being like,
run b*tch, run.
But there wasn't one.
f*ck, he's coming over.
sh*t. sh*t. sh*t.
God, he's coming over.
Okay, so why were
you staring at him?
You can see his d*ck
in those shorts.
- Joke innit.
- Yeah. All canceled.
- (sighs) Have to wait
for the next one now.
(whimsical music)
(bubbles popping)
Fancy another?
- Introducing the
absolute bellend
that I'm about to
fall in love with.
(glasses clinking)
Cheers.
- Don't you hope for some
fit girls on our flight?
- [Benji] And I really hope
after seven pints you're g*y.
- You gonna get that?
- It's my mum, honestly,
since she's found out
the planes are canceled,
she's like, are you okay?
I'm like, f*ck off. (laughs)
- I wish I could call my mum.
- Call her.
- Can't mate. She's dead.
- Oh, f*ck. Sorry mate.
- Did you k*ll her?
- What?
- What you sorry
for you bellend?
- [Benji] I just kept thinking
my mum would be like...
- [Mum] He's got
big d*ck energy.
(lively instrumental music)
- Things I learned about
the fit guy at the airport.
He was a PT for footballers,
i.e. rich.
(tell bell ringing)
He was a huge c*ck tease,
but always followed it up
by talking about fit girls.
He said he had a 10-inch c*ck,
which sometimes he couldn't
fit in boxer briefs.
(Jake laughing)
- Hi. Hi. Sorry. (coughs)
I think you're in
the wrong seat.
Actually, there was a bit
of a mix-up at check-in.
You see I'm his carer,
so I need to be sat next to him.
Is that all right?
- Why, what's wrong with him?
(Benji laughing)
- Right. Okay, no problem.
- [Jake] Stop laughing.
- You prick!
I'm Benji.
- Benji?
- Right. Well, what's your name?
- If we're still talking
on the flight home,
I'll tell you.
- (laughs) You arrogant c**t.
(lively instrumental music)
But he's fit as f*ck.
Fit people get
away with anything.
- Hit the bars
when we land, yeah?
- All right.
(both chuckling)
I like bacon on it
and then maple
syrup on the bacon.
- On a pancake?
- Yeah.
Like American style.
- f*cking so wrong mate.
Bacon on a pancake?
- Yeah.
- What the f*ck man?
That's mental. (laughs)
- So you're not meeting
anyone out here or anything?
- No.
What about you?
- No.
- So I've got you all
to myself then, have I?
(Benji laughing)
(lively instrumental
music continues)
- [Benji] We start
necking back pints
and already I feel
like one of the lads.
We flip beer mats up in the air.
And to be honest,
it just demonstrates that
I'm really dyspraxic.
We play darts.
He lets me win.
It's pretty cute.
We go get high.
It does not mix well
with the alcohol.
I am feeling f*cked.
I convince him that all the
fit girls go to g*y bars.
Cut to the whitey
starts to affect me
and I'm sick in my
mouth three times.
We have pictures
in a photo booth
and he pretends to suck me off.
And to be honest, I get hard.
We end up dancing and I
look like E.T. on ketamine.
He keeps looking at
girls in the club
and it is starting to
f*ck me off a little bit.
We go get chips and
I just keep thinking,
am I about to spend the
weekend with someone
who just wants to f*ck a bird?
Am I in that situation
where I've gotta pretend
to be one of the lads?
Or is something inside of
him just that little bit g*y?
- Feel all right?
- Yeah.
(both laughing)
I think it's the beer.
- It's f*cked you up.
- I'll be all right in a minute.
Do you like when you
drink and you smoke
and it makes you a bit like.
- Oh, I think I
filled it too much.
Oh, sh*t.
Oh, f*ck.
Oh, mate.
That's not good is it?
(Benji chuckling)
You ever shagged while
you've been high?
- [Benji] The last time I
shagged when I got high,
I actually vomited
all over a guy's c*ck.
Yeah.
- How'd you feel
like, was it good?
It's nice, isn't it?
(laughs)
- Looks sh*t. (laughs)
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
(glass clinking)
(melancholy music)
And then I think, f*ck
it. I'm gonna ask him.
So, are you like straight, yeah?
- Why you putting a label on it?
What about you?
- I shagged a girl once.
- [Jake] You did?
- Like, literally once. Yeah.
- [Jake] Go on lad.
- But,
do you know like the 18 to
thirties tour buses they do?
- [Jake] Mm.
- So I'm on one of them at 18
and there's this woman on
it and she's 35 to be fair.
So she probably shouldn't
have been on it.
(both chuckling)
So she's like got it in for me.
She's obsessed with
me for the whole trip
and I'm terrified
because I've got like
proper virgin energy,
do you know what I mean?
- [Jake] So you were a virgin?
- Yeah.
And one night I'm
in the swimming pool
and we're all f*cked, like
we've been out drinking
like proper on it.
- Mm.
- And she's like,
target acquired.
So she gets in the pool
like knickers off, comes over.
- [Jake] f*cking hell.
- I'm like that.
She comes over and she's
shagging me, right?
But there's this lad,
this Argentinian lad
who's fit as f*ck
and he's watching us,
but he's w*nk*ng.
So I'm watching him wank
while I'm shagging her
and I'm looking at him in
the eyes and I'm like...
- [Jake] f*ck, so he was
basically keeping your hard.
- Yeah.
(Jake chuckling)
And I was like, f*ck
I'm g*y. (laughs)
- You know what?
We should get someone in.
- What do you mean?
Wait.
- Get a brass.
Girl brass.
- Right.
- Good for it.
You don't have to do
anything if you don't want.
- Well, yeah. I'm not
gonna shag a bird, am I?
- You can watch.
(slow music)
(Benji mumbling)
- Yeah?
- All right. Yeah, whatever.
Inside I was thinking
absolutely f*cking not.
(door knocking)
But I might get to
see his d*ck so...
(heels tapping)
(door thudding)
- This is Vanessa.
- So do you wanna sit down,
chat for a little bit,
or go straight to the bedroom?
Got about 30 minutes.
- Oh, yeah. Is it all
right if he watches?
- Yeah, that's 80
euros more cash.
- Have you got cash?
Are you sure?
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's fine. Yeah.
- [Vanessa] Okay.
Bedroom through there?
- Yeah. Yeah. You lead the way.
- Okay.
(heels clipping)
See you in there?
- No, not arsed. Honestly.
Not arsed.
- Come on. Come through.
(upbeat music)
- [Benji] Now, this
for me was a little bit
like a choose your
own adventure book.
Turn to page three to go back
to your hostel and have a wank
or turn to page 73
to get involved.
(game show winning jingle)
(gentle sensual music)
(couple moaning)
Watching wasn't
usually my thing, but
I could tell it was his.
He's not taking
his eyes off me and
I'm hard as f*ck.
So is she like your type then?
- Blondes,
brunettes,
redheads.
What about you?
(energetic music)
- [Benji] I wish I could say
I went for loving
caring guys, but...
- Yeah,
you know, you're
lucky to have me.
- [Benji] Danny, who
loved to do ketamine.
And if I didn't do
ketamine with him
then I was a bad, bad boyfriend.
- I know what your
mum thinks of me.
Yeah. I dunno why you need
to speak to her though.
Why do you need your family?
- [Benji] And
here's Smiley Sean.
Smiley Sean, who used to
call me morbidly obese.
What a keeper.
- The fact that I
slept with you. Oh!
f*ck, like why would I do that?
- Bit like me then yeah?
(Benji laughing)
Go on then.
- What?
- Go on then.
- [Benji] Go on then what?
- I said, "Go on then."
(lips smacking)
(both heavy breathing)
(lively instrumental music)
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
(fireworks exploding)
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
For the lord God
omnipotent reigneth
(Jake panting)
- Why did you come
back here, Benji?
(high-pitched whistling)
(dramatic music)
(pencil scratching)
- [Benji] And then it sinks in
that it's just me
and a pint of wine
getting completely off my t*ts
and reliving what I thought
was the best
relationship of my life.
(melancholy music)
This time in 89 fight to
Amsterdam doesn't feel the same.
I don't know what I'm f*cking
doing coming back here.
You want me to get it in?
- Get it in.
You little p*ssy. Don't stop.
Don't stop. Keep going.
- [Benji] Staying
in this apartment,
it feels haunted now.
- That's me. Wait,
wait, wait, wait.
- Oh, for f*ck sake.
- And there we go.
- Oh, f*cking hell!
You're dirty.
You are so dirty.
- Nice.
- I mean, I'm not
f*cking doing that.
You can f*ck right off.
- We can try it.
- f*ck off.
One more drink and I hear
Demons in my ear
(dramatic music)
(pencil scratching)
(both panting)
(bed squeaking)
(Jake grunting)
(Benji groaning)
(Jake grunting)
(Benji panting)
- Get off me, you f*gg*t.
(bed creaking)
- [Benji] I wonder if I've ever
made anyone feel this sh*t?
And then I remember
my ex-girlfriend.
(girlfriend giggling)
Yeah, that's me
pretending to be asleep
so I don't have to
have sex with her.
- I'm gonna do it now.
No, I wanna have sex.
- I'm drunk.
- I'm drunk. (laughs)
We're both drunk.
(lips smacking)
Come on.
Come on. (laughs)
- [Benji] I'm gonna be sick.
- You always do this.
- No, I do. I just-
- Then what is it?
- I'm drunk. I feel sick.
- I've put this on. (crying)
Every time I wanna
have sex with you,
you don't wanna go near me.
Do you just wanna break up?
Is that what you want?
- No. No. That's
not what I want.
- You just keep pushing me away.
But you know what?
I'm gonna have sex tonight,
whether it's with you or not.
f*ck off. I'm done.
(door creaking)
- [Benji] I just
wanted to watch films
and have a gossip with her.
- My name's Jake.
You passed the test.
- Oh,
Jakey poos.
- What you doing?
- What?
- It's a little
bit g*y that Benji.
- Your d*ck up my arse
is a little bit g*y.
- (scoffs) f*ck off.
It's not g*y if you're
doing the shagging mate.
(both chuckling)
- Are you on prep by the way?
- Just to put it out there,
I'm not g*y. Okay?
Just having a bit of fun.
And this is nothing serious.
Like, I don't wanna
be on the list of guys
that f*cked you up in the past.
- You won't. No.
Someone's got a big head.
- Do this again?
- Yeah.
- Next month?
- Next month?
- Yeah. Go anywhere you like.
You can pick.
- I've not really got any
money mate, to be honest.
- f*ck off Jock.
Come away or not?
- What?
- On me.
You can choose.
- Money bags.
(both chuckling)
All right.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
It's a date.
- It's not a date.
- It's a date.
- It's not a date.
- It is, it's a date.
- Shut the f*ck up.
- (laughs) It's a date.
you're gonna come meet my mum.
It's a date.
- f*ck off.
(Benji laughing)
Get off me.
It is not a date.
- It's a date.
(upbeat music)
And that was it.
Every month we'd meet
and go to Amsterdam.
My heart beats fast
My blood runs slow
- Clothes off.
(bag thudding)
(door slamming)
Right.
(door thudding)
I'll get the bird in the MD.
Never let you go.
(sniffs) You have a
shower, you smelly b*stard.
(Benji laughing)
(guitar strumming)
- Sick.
- What you doing?
- What?
- Delete that please.
- f*ck off.
(door slamming)
(water sloshing)
- (laughs) Stop it.
- I'm just taking it in
that I've shagged a
10 twice this week.
- You are such a weirdo mate.
I shagged a mid-tier five
and I've not said
anything, have I?
- No, but you've taken
him away and paid for him.
I was gonna say, actually
I've got a bit of a sales
commission coming up,
so I was gonna transfer
you a little bit of money.
- Shut the f*ck up.
Right, get your kit off.
- What you doing?
- Let's get in the water.
- What are you doing?
- Take it off. Let's go
- f*ck off!
I'm not taking my kit off.
- Why not?
- Because I'm not.
- Why not?
Take your kit off.
- We're outside.
- There's no one here.
- I'm not taking my top off.
- Why not?
- You won't have
experienced this, right?
But you know when
a guy gives you the
you've not been to the gym look.
Like I'm just not into it.
I'm not taking-
- Benji, listen.
Stop.
Listen.
When have I ever
given you that look?
Never.
You look amazing.
Now, come on, get
your stuff off.
Let's get in the water.
We're in the red light
district after, yeah?
(upbeat music)
(both laughing)
(water sloshing)
It's not bad, you know.
Well, the cold of the night
- And despite everything,
you were the first person
that made me feel
positive about my body.
f*ck off!
Twat!
(Jake laughing)
Are you like this
for women by the way?
- Like what?
- Dominating.
- Women don't like it as much.
- Right? Well, who
said I liked it?
- (scoffs) You seem
to f*cking like it.
- All right, let's get a
sliding little scale here, yeah.
50-50 men, women.
Where we sitting?
- (exhales) I'd say
70-30, women to men.
Yeah, I never said
that out loud before.
- That you're bi?
- Did I say that, Benji?
How many lads have you been
with since we've been away?
- None.
- None?
- Yeah, none.
- Mate, I shagged like 10
birds since we last went away.
f*cking hell, what
you been doing?
- Go on then.
- What?
- I want a Benji special.
- Benji special.
Get ready for your
socks to be blown off.
- [Benji] And in that moment
I felt like a teenage girl
and knew you were gonna
be around for a while.
Track between my
My soul
Think about you as
these feelings grow
Different paths down
this winding road
But I can't choose
which way to go
When we're together,
we're strong
But all this guilt
feels so wrong
I wish I knew which
way I was headed
This path ahead
seems so long
(bubble popping)
What do you want to do now?
(both panting)
This did wonders for my esteem.
(dramatic music)
(pencil scratching)
(melancholy music)
My heart beats fast
My blood runs slow
Like the aftermath
- [Mum] Benji, where are you?
- Yeah, I'm in Amsterdam.
No, I don't want you
to f*cking come out.
I'm not.
I'm not seeing him.
I just need a few days
out here on my own.
No, I promise you I'm fine.
I'm fine.
f*ck sake.
Look, I just need three days
max and I'm gonna come home.
I will.
I'm not seeing
him. He's not here.
(exhales)
Okay, I love you.
I gave my head a wobble and
decide to leave the flat,
but I go and do
what I always do.
Only this time it's down a
seedy alleyway in Amsterdam.
(muffled energetic beat)
(energetic club music)
All right.
(metal rattling)
- You don't look
like your pictures.
- [Benji] All right.
He's not wrong.
I did use face tune
on that picture.
I don't have the words
for what happened next.
(metal clanging)
Not yet anyway.
- Don't worry.
Why you look so scared, huh?
- I'm not scared.
- I take care of you, yes?
(Benji nervously laughing)
(man speaking foreign language)
Go.
Yes.
Hm?
(whistles)
Sit.
Do as your told. Sit.
Good boy.
You do as I tell you, yes?
- Mm-hm.
- Yes?
- Yeah.
- Mm-hm.
Relax.
- I'm fine.
(wood creaking)
You like?
- Is he okay?
- Yes.
He wants me.
He told me.
Touch him.
(man tutting)
(man laughing)
Why are you so scared?
- I'm fine.
- No. You need to relax.
(glass clinking)
- I've not done that one before.
- It's okay.
I show you.
For you.
You don't drink.
(tuts) Not yet.
- Just down it?
- Drink.
- Okay.
- Sante.
(muffled energetic
music continues)
- Mm?
- Mm-hm.
- You feel?
- Mm-hm.
- You want to feel?
- Mm-hm.
(loud energetic music)
- What are you doing?
- I need to go.
- [Man] Huh?
- I need to leave.
- [Man] What?
No, no, no, no.
Why you going?
- Mm-mm.
- Huh?
- I don't feel very well.
- What?
No, no. Stay.
- Mm-mm.
- Huh?
You stay here, huh?
(man slapping and grunting)
Huh?
(Benji crying)
Come on. You f*cking b*tch.
Huh?
(speaks foreign language)
(Benji vomiting and retching)
(man screaming in
foreign language)
(man spitting)
- Eventually, he leaves
and my first thought is,
"That could have been worse."
How f*cked up is that?
(man shouting)
I feel pain in my ribs
and I close my eyes
and leave my body.
(film scratching)
(gentle music)
- The film you are about to see
represents a h*m*.
- Oh, no, no.
That's no kind of
a thing to say.
(TV static hissing)
- [Female Narrator] Find
themselves depersonalized.
Like almost leaving their
body at those experience
at those times.
- [Mum] Benji, look
at the time, my love.
- [Male Narrator] You
will grow up someday.
- [Female Narrator] Typically,
when we see dissociation,
in almost all cases
I've ever seen,
it's a trauma response.
It's often considered to be a-
(dramatic music)
- We seem to be drifting apart.
- [Male Narrator] All
h*m* are not passive.
(dramatic music)
- And it's all because of-
- [Male Narrator]
Your product here.
(Jake screaming)
(muffled new report)
(film scratching)
(Jake screaming)
- [Male Narrator]
Disassociation.
(manic music)
(Benji vomiting)
- [Benji] Have you ever
been dealt a sh*t hand?
(dramatic music)
(energetic music)
- Weren't you on my flight?
- [Jake] I'm gonna f*ck you up.
- [Benji] I feel like I've been
sucked up into an arsehole.
I lose so many
hours and I don't,
don't know what day it is.
- How much have you taken?
- [Benji] And I just keep
wishing that I was back with...
(TV static hissing)
(upbeat music)
And this was the first
trip that felt like a date.
It felt like you
wanted to show me off.
We went out of the apartment,
we went bike riding together
and it felt amazing.
- (laughs) f*ck, are
you falling there?
Falling there.
What we talking
about here, no hands?
Hey?
(upbeat music continues)
It's f*cking shocking weather.
- Yeah.
(brakes squealing)
My brakes aren't
working. (laughs)
Who's f*cking idea was this?
- Stop being a p*ssy.
All right, here you go.
Would you rather
lick out a fanny that were full
with cottage cheese that been
in the fridge for a year.
(laughs)
- Where the f*ck do
you get this sh*t?
- Or (laughs)
suck someone off
if he had a Yorkshire pudding
wrapped around the
d*ck covered in gravy?
(both laughing)
- Yorkshire pudding c*ck.
(both laughing)
- Whose c*ck is it?
- Doesn't matter.
(ax thudding)
- [Benji] And yeah. All right.
Maybe I do wear rose-tinted
glasses sometimes.
Maybe we weren't Snow
White and the Huntsman
running round the
woods that day.
But in my head it's how
I like to remember it.
- What do you wanna do tonight?
- I've actually got a
couple hours work tonight.
- You actually work out here?
- Yeah.
- Oh, right.
- It's a junior
league, new client.
In and out. Nice and easy.
- I can come.
- No.
I think we should go
somewhere hot next.
- I think you should stop
spending money on me.
- I think you should
shut the f*ck up.
- Oh, yeah? (laughs)
f*ck off.
f*ck off.
(romantic string music)
That was actually
quite romantic.
(bubble popping)
- Suck me off.
- What if someone comes?
- Yeah, I'm gonna come.
- We're in the woods.
- Yeah, so?
- Can we not be
just like romantic
for like two minutes?
(record scratching)
I felt like a nosh on tap.
- Can we just make
something clear?
- All right, use
your serious voice.
- Shut the f*ck up a second.
The arrangement is
we see each other in
Amsterdam, not in the UK.
I book the trips
and I tell you when we're
gonna see each other.
All right?
- Hale?
(laughs) You live
in f*cking Hale?
- The f*ck you doing
with my wallet?
You f*cking weirdo. Get off.
- f*cking hell. Calm down mate.
- Don't tell me to calm down.
- Don't f*cking shout at me.
- Don't shout at me!
- f*ck off!
- You f*ck off you little prick.
- Don't f*cking hit me.
- f*ck off you little-
- f*ck off.
- f*ck off you little c**t.
Don't touch my sh*t. All right?
- I'm going.
- Benji, don't go.
- Don't. f*cking stop
grabbing my arms.
- Benji, f*cking stay.
Just stay. Just stay. I'm sorry.
- Yeah.
- Here.
- No.
I don't...
f*ck off.
- Benji, just don't go.
Just stay. I'm sorry.
- Just don't f*cking
grab my arms again.
- Okay. Okay.
- f*cking hell.
- Just don't touch my sh*t.
You taking my sh*t for?
Look, I don't want
anything serious.
Okay? I'm not looking
for a relationship.
I'm really happy the
way that things are.
If you're not, then
that's fine but...
- I think I just wanna
go back to be honest.
- Okay. You all right?
- I'm fine.
- Did I hurt you?
- No.
(somber music)
And looking back,
I think this was the
moment we both knew
that this wasn't gonna end well.
I really wish that
moment had happened,
but
(record scratching)
he never would kiss me
in front of other people.
- When in Amsterdam
have pancakes.
- Cheers.
- I'm sorry about yesterday.
I think I get my
temper from my dad.
- You get it from somewhere.
Still see you dad?
- No mate.
I've not seen him since
the late nineties.
(upbeat music)
- [Benji] Who doesn't
love a nineties flashback?
(egg smashing)
And this might feel like
a toxic origin story,
but people are complicated.
And I'm not excusing him.
When I heard this,
I wanted to fix him.
I wanted him to be okay.
Morning dad.
Dad.
Dad.
I'll get you some food.
(upbeat music)
- [Benji] And then she came,
his Auntie Jackie.
Now, I'm not gonna lie,
on paper she is a
bit of a g*y icon.
(door clicking)
- You all right?
(bag rustling)
A hello would be nice.
Your dad's gone off and he's
asked me to check in on you.
Well, f*cking hell.
I can go if you want.
There you go.
That's the proper
man's drink that is.
- It's f*cking hanging that.
- Oh, drink it up.
- Why's it doing that?
- Bloody drink it up your poof.
- Would you rather have
a daughter that's his
slag or a son that's g*y?
(Jackie laughing)
- Would you rather a
fanny dipped in cheese,
like cottage cheese
that's been out for like weeks
or a c*ck wrapped in
Yorkshire pudding and gravy.
- Fanny, obviously.
- (laughs) You f*cking liar.
- It would be the fanny.
- You love Yorkshire puddings.
- Yeah, but not round a d*ck.
It would obviously be fanny.
- Oh, no way.
You are absolute a virgin mate.
There's no way you've
been near fanny.
- I'm not a virgin.
- (laughs) I can smell it.
- I'm not a f*cking virgin.
- Oh, I've touched
a nerve! (laughs)
(door knocking)
- Who's that?
- Oh, don't you worry.
You just stay down here.
Mommy's got to do a little work.
- Mommy?
- Sorry. Auntie Jackie.
(heels tapping)
You all right, Paul?
Come on in. Cash up front, yeah?
- Yeah.
- Great.
- Who's the kid?
- Oh, it's just my
nephew. It's fine.
- I don't think
he should be here.
- Well, he is not
coming upstairs babe.
- Don't think I'm
pretty keen on that.
- Oh, don't worry.
I've got the nappies. It's fine.
Come on.
Do you want me to slap you?
Call you-
- [Man] As long as
he stays down there.
- [Jackie] Yeah,
yeah. It'll be fine.
(classical instrumental music)
- [Jackie] Right,
you f*cking b*stard.
You love this, don't you?
(Jackie slapping)
Where's your dummy?
(Jackie slapping)
Do you wanna suck on a dummy?
You f*cking skanky baby.
(Jackie slapping)
Oh, come on!
(Jackie slapping)
- [Man] Please.
- [Jackie] Oh!
Do you want another slap?
- [Man] Yeah.
- [Jackie] You've
been a naughty baby.
- [Man] Please, yes.
- [Jackie] A naughty baby.
- [Man] I'm so bad.
Okay.
- [Jackie] Wipe your own sh*t.
I've had enough of you,
f*cking horrible baby.
(bed thumping)
(upbeat music)
- I always feel a bit frisky
after I've had a bit of action.
I saw you.
- What?
- Little pervert.
Were you watching him?
- No.
- Well, you can't have
been w*nk*ng about me
because I'm your auntie.
That would be weird.
- Did he pay you?
- Yeah, 50.
- Ugh, you little slag.
- Don't talk to me like that.
Everyone pays for sex.
Nothing wrong with it.
- Yeah. Who do you pay for sex?
- Do you know what?
I would pay
45 for Eric Cantona
to do me from behind.
Really rough.
Love that.
It's his hands.
They're so big.
Oh, Banjo, Banjo, Banjo.
I bet you'd like Eric
up the bum. (laughs)
- He's mine.
- What?
- Did dad leave me a card out
or anything for my birthday?
- Is it your birthday?
- I mean, have you
had sex before?
- Oh, my God.
Don't ask him that.
You'll embarrass him.
- What? It's a simple question.
Have you or have you not?
- Yeah.
- There we go.
Question answered.
- Right, you two pop upstairs
and, you know, pop
his cherry. (laughs)
(woman sighing)
- What do you mean?
- Happy birthday Jakey?
- Oh, f*ck off Jackie.
- Oh, come on. Chill out.
Come on, Jack.
- Jake.
- She's all right.
She's dyslexic.
Don't be so worried.
You'll be all right.
Just take her from behind
and pretend she's
George Clooney.
She's handsome.
She's got a strong nose.
You'll be all right.
- I'll try to keep her quiet.
(bed springs thumping)
- (laughs) Nice one.
Hello. (kisses)
Do you want to come and live
with your auntie Jackie?
(bag rustling)
There we go. There you go.
That's nice, isn't it?
f*cking heavier
than Oprah Winfrey.
(stairs creaking)
- Not gonna stay?
- No. (laughs)
It was only an hour.
- Was it good?
- It was fast.
Look, your auntie
only paid for me
because she thought
you were a wee poof.
She didn't think you're actually
gonna go through with it.
(somber music)
(door thudding)
Banjo.
Excuse me.
Have you seen a lady with a dog?
Banjo!
- [Benji] He never did
see that little dog again.
Apparently, she sold it for 40.
(glass smashing)
(Jake screaming)
I don't think he saw
any of his family again.
(dramatic music)
(pencil scratching)
- [Mum] Benji, why's your
phone been off for eight hours?
I'm worried.
You need to come home.
It's not gonna make you
feel better being out there.
He's not coming back.
He's moved on and
you need to and all.
- After putting myself
in danger yesterday,
I still wake up
and think, f*ck it,
I'm gonna meet someone.
And I know what
you're thinking, but
he looks like he's
got a really nice face
and I'm gonna meet
him somewhere public
in some toilets.
- I don't usually meet
in public toilets.
- I mean, I thought it'd
be a bit less awkward
than meeting outside Anne
Frank's house. (laughs)
- Do you not just wanna
like leave the toilets
and go get a coffee?
- I mean, I poked my head
in the cubicles before
and they're pretty clean.
What you say?
- Okay.
- Yeah?
- Okay.
- All right, f*ck it. Come on.
- f*ck it.
- f*ck it.
So are you top or bottom?
- I'm vers.
- So bottom?
- No, I'm vers.
(person urinating)
- Okay.
- Look, I can't
hook up in toilet.
- No one's gonna come in.
- (laughs) It's
really not my thing.
- No one's gonna come in.
(urinating continues)
(person passing gas)
- Shush. Shush.
(Benji laughing)
(door squeaking)
(toilet flushing)
(door squeaking)
He's gone.
- Do you want a piss or
something before you go?
- No.
- No, look.
You can literally
smell sh*t in here.
- Do you not fancy me?
It's fine.
- Shush.
Let's just get a coffee.
No stress.
- Okay.
- Okay then?
- Okay then.
I'm Kieran.
- Benji.
I'll do my belt up then.
(twinkling jingle)
- Nearly.
(Benji laughing)
- [Benji] Now, I
am not gonna lie.
He gave me proper
fizzy knickers.
But Kieran was
escaping just like me.
His troubles sunk a
little deeper than mine.
- Go on!
Go on!
- I need another drink.
- No, how much have you drank?
- You drive like this?
- Absolutely. You go to the bar.
I'll do the driving.
- Please. Stop!
- Who the f*ck are you?
f*ck off.
- What?
- f*ck off.
Get out.
- [Benji] He kept pushing
away the people he loved,
again and again.
(Kieran crying)
(siren wailing)
(Kieran chocking)
(Kieran shouting)
He ends up coming back to mine.
And to be honest, it
feels f*cking weird
being here with another guy.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
- You seem a little bit...
- No, I'm just saying
that it'd be nice if we just
did stuff together like...
- What? You gonna take me out?
- Yeah.
- Where?
Pizza Hut?
- [Benji] Erm. I actually
used to work at Pizza Hut
and it's got a really
good salad bar.
- I don't want it like that.
We had an agreement.
We've already talked
about this before.
- Right.
- Okay?
We come here, we get a girl.
Just chill.
Just like, just calm down
a little bit. All right?
- All I'm trying to
say is it's been three-
- Are you having fun?
Are you having a good
time, me and you?
- [Benji] What?
- Are you having a good
time? I said, me and you.
- f*cking hell.
What if I meet someone?
- (laughs) Where are
you gonna meet someone?
- [Benji] What?
- Where are you
gonna meet someone?
You don't do anything.
What, are you gonna meet
someone better than me?
- I'm sort of still
seeing somebody.
So it's all a bit like...
- Ah.
Okay.
- Yeah.
- Really?
Cool.
All right, so I think, yeah,
I'll see ya, maybe.
- [Benji] Have you
ever had that moment
when you realized that you
might have become the arsehole?
(bell ringing)
(melancholy music)
I mean, you're channeling some
big d*ck energy there Benji.
I sometimes wonder if we'd
have met when we were younger
if things would've
been different.
- Would you rather
have everyone able
to hear your thoughts
or you can hear everyone's
thoughts in the entire world?
- I can hear everybody
else's thoughts.
Would you rather
always scream or always whisper?
- Always scream.
Don't f*cking do that to me.
Don't f*cking do that to me.
I'm not f*cking g*y.
You pervert.
- Second thoughts. Maybe not.
(door knocking)
(floorboards creaking)
I feel like a bit of
a prick to be honest.
- No, don't worry about it.
It's okay.
I'll have just have a
little five minutes.
- Yeah, so I wanna tell
you something. Okay?
- Just became a cycle
that I was stuck in
and I'm still stuck in it
now and we're not together.
- It's kind of like
haunted, isn't it?
This place now.
- I feel like I'm
still with him.
Do you know? Like I
never, we never broke up.
We were never like
officially together but
it feels like I'm still in it.
Like I'm deep in it
and I can't find
the way out of it.
And then I can hear my mum
from a few weeks ago saying...
- [Mum] "Stop talking
about that dickhead
and find a nice guy."
(somber music)
- It's getting late.
- [Benji] And then I realized
that this is the first time
that I've fallen asleep
without drinking in over a year.
- (laughs) Thanks for that.
So be happy.
Come here.
See ya.
- See ya.
I think this is the first time
that I've had someone back
and not had sex with them.
We arranged to sit
next to each other
on the flight back
to Manchester.
I feel a bit giddy.
(melancholy music)
I'm starting to think
that maybe coming here's
helping a little bit.
And then I'll see you in my
head and it'll hurt again.
But maybe not as much.
(Jake laughing)
I just keep replaying
when it all fell apart.
- Stop filming me, you c**t.
- Hello you mad c**t.
(pencil scratching)
Benji boy.
Guess where I am.
Me and the lads had
a f*cking wild one
and we are in
Amsterdam (laughs)
and I know you're
here this weekend.
So why don't you
come out and meet us?
- [Benji] Bringing him here
was the worst idea in the world.
(energetic club music)
- Have a f*cking hit have
you? It's the f*cking weekend.
- I don't want anything.
I told you stop
acting like a couple
because we're not.
- [Benji] The second he
met Ryan, his back was up.
It was like he wanted a fight.
- I haven't f*cking
told anyone anything.
Oi.
- What? Stop
f*cking touching me.
- Do you wanna go?
- Yeah, you go. f*ck off.
- Hey, you all right here, mate?
You good?
Get the f*cking shots in.
- Yeah, I'm happy with that.
Yeah, definitely
mate. You good, yeah?
- [Benji] Toxic
masculinity initiated.
I feel like this is
the start of a g*y porn
that I once watched.
- Right? So I'm thinking
strip club first.
I'm thinking brass.
I'm thinking burgers 'cause
I'm f*cking starving.
And then I'm thinking
back to the brass' house.
What does that sound like? Yeah?
Hang on. Sorry.
Wait, are we playing
f*cking spin the bottle
like we're 12-year-old
girls or something?
What? What?
(glass rattling)
- You know what? I'm gonna
go with dare, f*ck it.
- [Group] Ooh!
- Let's go. Come on.
- Big boy.
- All right. All right.
I dare you to piss in
the glass and down it.
(group groaning)
Big boy!
- [Man] Come on.
(group groaning)
- Hey, mate. It was a jungle.
(group groaning)
(upbeat music)
(glass rattling)
- Truth or dare pal.
- You lot are f*cking
mad. I'll go for a truth.
f*ck that dare sh*t.
(group laughing)
- Oh, seeing as it's my truth.
He said truth. I like that.
Are you two shagging?
- Ooh.
- You got a f*cking
problem or something?
- I've got no problem here mate.
You're the one with a problem
because I told you didn't I
that these two are defo shagging
but you can't admit it.
- All right, f*ck
it. Give me a dare.
- I dare you
to kiss one of these
boys around this table.
- Hey, mate. Leave it.
(upbeat music continues)
- This really f*cked me off.
- Whoa!
(group laughing)
- If you gonna do it
lad, do it properly.
- What the f*ck? (smacks)
- [Group] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
(energetic rock music)
(head smashing)
- Ah!
(men scuffling)
- Ah!
(game over tone)
- I try and remember
if I've always gone
for toxic guys, like
where was the root of it?
(muffled upbeat music)
I know you.
- Yeah?
From where?
What's this you've got on?
- It's the god of love.
- God of love?
I'm gonna go and get a drink.
Do you want anything?
- [Benji] Now, this moment here
is a moment where I probably
could have got with a
really, really nice guy, but...
- Watch where you're going mate.
f*ck me. (sniffs)
- [Benji] Now everyone knew
that Louis Jones was
an absolute slag.
- [Narrator] All aboard!
- [Benji] But everyone
wanted to sleep with him.
- Here, have a look
at this. (laughs)
Oh f*ck me, I'm fit. (laughs)
Aren't I?
- Yeah.
- You take siv?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Get in there then.
- [Benji] And that was the
first time that I got chlamydia.
- It's f*cking too much.
When we were in there you're
like touching me all the time.
Like you're making out
that we're together.
We're not f*cking together.
(sighs)
(cries) I'm sorry.
(whimsical music)
- We spent the rest of
that trip pretending
everything was all right.
Sometimes I'd look at him
and I'd think I'm so
lucky to be with him.
It's pathetic,
but my heart was hurting.
- Just give me some
space for a bit.
What do you wanna
do tonight then?
- Just dunno.
Going home tomorrow,
aren't we, so just...
- Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Have a little blowout.
Get a girl, some
weed, some booze.
- I was gonna talk to you about
just like pausing
for a bit after this.
Just a little bit.
- What do you mean?
- It's just,
I think about you when
we're not together
and I know we've got
an arrangement and...
- Where has this all come from?
- I just, I feel like it's
getting a bit much for me
to stay in it at the minute
because it's, you know,
you can feel it start
f*cking up your head
and I just, I don't want
to get there with it.
So I think we'll just
pause it for now.
I can't even text you
when I'm not with you.
So it's...
- Yeah, 'cause we
had an agreement,
but like what does that mean?
You mean you,
what, you've got
feelings for me? What?
- I'm struggling a bit with it.
- Yeah, but I don't want it.
I don't want that.
I don't want it to end.
Can I just be
brutally honest
for a little bit.
When I'm at home,
I've got so much stuff going on,
my mind is a mess.
I'm so f*cked up and
I'm not happy
and I don't know what to
do to get myself out of it.
But then, when I'm here
and I'm with you,
everything just feels right.
It just feels...
My head just feels calm.
(sighs)
Uber will be here
in five minutes.
I can't do next month,
but maybe the next two months?
- Why?
- Just got stuff on.
- What stuff?
- Just stuff.
- Just
completely honest.
Are you seeing someone?
- No.
- No. Look at me.
Are you seeing someone?
- Benji, no.
I just don't know
which way to go
When we're together
we're strong
(laughs) What are
you laughing at?
- Oh, do you know what?
That is the best one yet.
- You love my cringe
though, don't you?
- [Olivia] Do I? (laughs)
- Yeah, you do.
- Don't give up the
day job yet, will you?
- (laughs) Give me some
good news before I go away.
- Do you know what
I was thinking?
- [Jake] What?
- Why don't I come with you?
- Ah, baby. You'd be bored.
- I'd be bored?
- Yeah.
- Bored in Amsterdam?
Come on, I'm sure I
can find something
to keep me entertained.
- Well, I'm gonna
keep you locked up
so you can't go anywhere.
- Locked up? (laughs)
(romantic music)
Give me a snuggle.
Mm. Love you.
- See you later.
I love you too.
- Don't do anything
I wouldn't do.
(Jake laughing)
Best behavior.
Call me when you
get there, yeah?
- I will.
- Okay, bye.
It's only me.
Just checking that you've
landed and you're all right.
You've not phone me back yet
so I'm just checking
that you've landed
and everything's fine.
(instrumental music)
One day, which day?
- It just depends what happens.
- Sunday or Monday?
- I don't know, obviously.
I'll know more when I get there.
- (laughing) Oh, f*cking hell.
- [Phone Operator]
This person's phone
is currently unavailable.
Please try later.
- I'm so happy.
No, I've not even told him yet.
- Okay?
Hi.
- Don't touch me
- Baby.
- No.
- What's up?
Baby, what's wrong?
- You know what's wrong?
- I don't know what's
up. What's wrong?
I've just come back
from three days.
I've not seen you in ages.
What's going on?
And a nice hello would be good.
- So why haven't you
responded to like
the hundred missed calls
that I've given you?
- Baby, you know I've been busy.
- [Olivia] So you've
not seen them?
- I've been in and out meetings.
I've been with
people constantly.
My phone has been playing up.
- Do you know what
annoys me the most?
That you've got no
consideration for me at all,
that you've got no care,
that, you know, something
could have been wrong with me.
You know, it could have been
an emergency. Who knows?
But you don't
actually even think?
- Is there anything
wrong with you?
You look fine to me.
There's nothing wrong is there?
- You don't even,
that's what I mean.
You don't even know the news
and everybody else
knows and you don't know
because you couldn't even
be arsed to text back
or call back or anything.
- What news? What
you talking about?
- I'm pregnant.
- What?
You're pregnant?
- Yeah.
- Baby, this is amazing.
I'm sorry. I'm so
sorry. I'm so sorry
but that is amazing.
That is beautiful news.
It was just a mad weekend.
I'm so, so sorry.
Come here. I love you. Please.
- Should we go for some
food tomorrow night?
I want to try that new place.
- Can't tomorrow night babe.
(lounge music)
- [Olivia] Why not?
- [Jake] I just got
some work stuff.
- [Olivia] Yeah, I
meant tomorrow night.
- Yeah, I've got a meeting.
It's...
'Cause of the time difference,
it's gonna start quite
late tomorrow, I think.
We'll go another day.
- Okay.
(melancholy music)
- So have you thought
of any names yet?
- Yeah, yeah, I have.
I'm thinking Hugo if it's a boy
and maybe Lisa if it's a girl.
- [Friend] Oh, that's so cute.
(ominous music)
(Oliva gasping)
- Jake.
Jake, I think there's
something up with the baby.
Please.
- Just saying he's not messaged
you in a while, has he?
- [Olivia] No, it's been a few
days, but he's really busy.
- [Jake] Baby, I'm
sorry I wasn't there.
- Are you seeing someone else?
I'm not throwing it on you.
I've been saying
it for a long time
and I'm done now.
- Please.
No, I don't want you to go.
- Don't please me anymore.
- Don't leave.
- Don't start this again
because this is what you do.
- Baby. It's not my fault
that the baby's gone.
It's not my fault.
- We've talked about it.
We've talked about it
over and over again.
There's nothing else to say.
- [Jake] Don't walk away.
Just stay with me, please.
- Stay with you for what?
- [Jake] Just stay, please.
- For what?
- I don't want you to go.
Please, I promise I'll
be better. Please.
- This is what you
do all the time.
No, I can't do
this anymore, Jake.
- Just stay with me.
I'll be better, I
promise. I'm sorry.
(melancholy music continues)
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- [Benji] She got
pregnant again soon after
and that arsehole still
didn't end it with me.
I had no f*cking idea.
I don't know what I'd
have done if I'd known.
I like to think I
would've ended things, but
the last trip together
felt different.
We didn't have sex.
We didn't kiss,
didn't touch,
we didn't even really talk.
And the whole time we
were walking round,
I don't know, I just
kept thinking it,
it felt like an end.
It felt different.
(gentle melancholy music)
And when we got home and
I didn't hear from you,
I did what any
logical, rational,
crazy ex would do.
I turned up at your house.
- I don't know about you babe,
but I'm absolutely starving.
(phone ringing)
You not getting that?
Should we do it with
some garlic bread?
- Oh, yeah. That sounds good.
Baby, could you
just take the bag.
I'm just gonna
make a phone call.
- [Olivia] Yeah,
I'll put tea on.
- What the f*ck
are you doing here?
- Is that your girlfriend?
- Shut the f*ck up.
Shut the f*ck up.
If you turn up at my house
again I'll f*cking k*ll you.
Do you hear me?
(Benji moaning)
f*ck off.
(melancholy music)
(Jake panting)
- Jake?
Jake?
Jake?
What's wrong?
Babe, what's wrong?
- I can't breathe.
- What's up with you?
- What do you mean
you can't breathe?
What's wrong?
Baby, what's up with you?
Are you okay?
- Please, look at your mother.
Look at me.
Get a grip, all right?
Let them go.
Just let it all go. All right?
- And then he started
ignoring my messages
and it f*cking hurt.
I started meeting people.
I wanted to be
treated like sh*t.
But none of them were him.
I mean, this guy's
not even close.
What are you gonna do to me?
- Yeah? What are you into?
- I want you to
tell me what to do.
Dominate me.
- Yeah?
I can be dominant.
Yeah. Yeah. (slaps)
Was that too hard?
- (laughs) No.
- No.
(Benji laughing)
- What?
- Mate, it's not
really working is it.
- [Date] Oh, it is.
Come on, come on.
Get on the floor. Come on.
- He's blocked me on Instagram.
He's blocked me on Facebook.
Like all the socials.
f*cked off my number.
Like literally, he's not
spoke to me now for like
two months.
(indie music)
- [Jake] Benji, if you
don't leave me alone,
I'll call the f*cking police.
I'll get a restraining order.
Now, f*ck off.
It's embarrassing.
Leaving to have me in your
life. You're obsessed.
- We had one last trip booked.
I turned up to the airport.
Yeah, I know it seems crazy,
but I thought he might be there.
(phone dinging)
And then, I got a
location pin from him and
I knew this was the last time
that I was ever gonna see him.
(dramatic music)
So here we are again
at the f*cking end.
I mean, how did she not know
he was a little bit
g*y with that car?
- Finally.
Listen.
Mate, you can't just turn
up at my house unannounced.
It's not on.
(Benji laughing)
Why are you laughing?
You can't.
I've said that like,
there's certain boundaries
and you crossed it.
Mate, I can't.
I can't do this anymore.
Okay?
- Do you know I was sat
at the airport today
and I was thinking
so many f*cking times, yeah,
that you could have
said to me, finish this.
Like, just like,
I don't understand like why
you f*cking carried this on
and do you know how much
this has f*cked me up?
- f*cking hell man.
Well, you were
having a good time
at the time though, weren't you?
- Well, you f*cking used me.
- You used me.
- No, you f*cking used me.
- Shut the f*ck up. (thumps)
f*cking shout at me.
Shut the f*ck up.
- So when I was at yours, yeah,
the girl that I seen you with...
- (groans)
Yeah, what?
- So like when we first
met, were you with her?
- (sighs) Yes.
- (laughs) Okay.
So, go on then, what's her name?
- Whose f*cking name?
- Whose f*cking name?
Whose f*cking name do you think?
- Olivia.
- Olivia.
- So when we used
to go away, right?
So you used to be having
sex with me, yeah,
you'd fly back and then what?
Would you just go
back and f*ck her?
So we're just gonna
f*ck it off then?
- Yeah, mate. Like
that's the end of it.
We've had a good time.
And to be honest mate,
you're quite lucky right now
to have come away with me
to like be sitting
here right now.
You're in a good position.
Like you've had a good time.
Like, look at you, look at me.
Have you not had a good time?
- [Benji] Stop f*cking
calling me mate.
- Like what?
- [Benji] It's f*cking weird.
- Mate, look at yourself.
When I saw you in the
airport, I thought,
f*cking hell,
he looks like an easy target.
And I was right, wasn't I?
Look at you.
f*cking count yourself lucky.
You've had a good run.
f*ck off.
- (sniffs) Okay.
Good.
(Jake groaning)
- I'm sorry.
When I saw you in the
airport that first time
I thought you were a 10
and I still think
you're a 10 now.
Right?
But like, what do you expect?
Life doesn't work like this.
I can't just drop everything
and run off with
you into the sunset.
It don't work like that.
I can't just...
I've got so much stuff
going on right now
and I can't just
walk away from them.
Can I?
I can't just abandon them.
(sighs)
I'm sorry.
(both crying)
(somber music)
There's a monster in my head
(door thudding)
That won't leave
I wish I could
Take a moment to relax
But it's harder
Than it seems
I'd love
- [Benji] And then you feel it,
your body ready to purge
all of that negative energy,
to make you feel like you again.
There's a monster in my head
- [Benji] They say the
best way to move forward
is to go back and I
think they're right.
So thanks
for going back with me.
Take a moment and relax
But it's harder
Than it seems
Look what you're doing to me
Let me astray from paradise
Into a storm
(baby crying)
Numb right to my core
I despise who I've become
- What the actual f*ck!
(typewriter tapping)
f*ck you screenwriter
above my head.
(typewriter dinging)
(baby crying)
- Oh, thank you. Ta.
Shall we watch this.
(melancholy music)
- See you later.
All right.
- Hi.
- Nearly didn't make it.
- Well, you're here aren't you?
- Yeah. (laughs)
- I was gonna say
it was really nice
meeting you and
you know, apart
from all this noise,
I'm not listening to anything.
It's just trying to
drown that out but
I was thinking
maybe, potentially,
we could maybe do
something when we get back.
- Yeah. Nice.
- Fancy that?
- Yeah, definitely.
- Some very nice Nozeco.
- Some... (laughs)
- Some Italian food, maybe?
- Are you asking me out?
- No.
- Oh, right.
- I just...
- I'll go sit over there then
with the crying baby
if you want. (laughs)
- Oh, no. Hey, do
you want these?
I feel sorry for,
(laughs) for everyone.
- You're not listening
to them on this flight.
And then you realize that
you're ready to depart.
That you're ready to
start it all over again.
But this time it has
to be better because
no one wants a f*cking sequel.
Take a moment and relax
But it's harder
Than it seems
Look what you're doing to me
Lead me astray from paradise
Into a storm
Numb right to my core
I despise who I'd become
- [Benji] Just before you go,
here's one last Snow White
and the Huntsman fantasy.
(gentle music)
To be honest,
we just wanted to make a
f*cking musical number.
I always hoped someday
That I would live and learn
We set our hearts on fire
And sat and
watched them burn
I guess we tried too late
I guess I cried too long
But there's a place I know
When everything feels wrong
Let's go, let's go
Far away from all
of the madness
Let go, let go
Of all of the tears
and the sadness
Let's fall, let's fly
Where the sun's gonna
shine in a clear blue sky
That's where I go
when I close my
Eyes
Oh
Eyes
Let's go, let's go
Far away from all
of the madness
Let go, let go
Of all of the tears
and the sadness
Let's fall, let's fly
Where the sun's gonna
shine in a clear blue sky
That's where I go
when I close my
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Departures (2025)
Moderators: Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters, Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters
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Valentine's Day, Hot, Steamy, Sexy, Romantic Movie Collection.
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