03x24 - Lights! Camera! Ego!

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Beeping)

♪ Something tells me

I’ve been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was

never real ♪

♪ It’s seems I’ve changed

a thousand ways ♪

♪ I wish I looked

the way I feel ♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Ah

♪ Ah

♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Braceface

(Dogs barking)

Okay guys, go get it!

Where’s your ball, Samson?

What’s that?

An old water bottle.

I guess they’re trying to make

fetch more interesting.

Maybe.

Do you believe how gross this

park is?

Come on, guys.

Let’s do a quick clean up.

Oh sorry, but I’ve got a

Mangled Metal rehearsal.

And I really have to come up

with an idea for my "man and

media" project.

It’s due next week and I have

nothing.

Okay, Pigger and Samson can

help me.

See you guys later.

CONNOR & MARIA: Later!

♪

(Meowing)

Sorry guys, I can’t play

right now.

I’m doing my nails.

(Sneezing)

And I just want to remind you

about the contest.

Huh, what?

What is that?

♪

(Phone beeping)

Hello?

Maria, it’s me.

I just saw--

Hold on, I can hardly hear

you!

Now, what were you saying?

TV3’s got this contest and it

sounds perfect for Mangled

Metal.

Really?

Yeah, all we have to do is

make a music video, submit it--

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Rewind.

Make a video?

Well, yeah.

That’s the contest: "Best Video

by a New Band".

And there’s a big prize if we--

Sharon!

We can’t make a video!

Why not?

Because it’s a lot of work.

So, I thought you’d love the

idea.

Well, I do, but--

Okay, how long do we have?

Two weeks.

That’s it?!

I was thinking about "There

Goes the Neighbourhood".

They do that really well and

it’s perfect for a video.

Oh, okay.

Let me go yell at ’em and I’ll

get back to you later.

(Beeping)

♪

Okay guys, listen up!

SHARON: So, they’re excited?

Well, of course.

They’re not gonna be the ones

making it happen.

That’s okay.

You and I can do this together.

I already made a list.

You did?!

Yeah, first we need a camera

and someone who knows how to use

it.

Problem number 1.

Don’t be negative.

We also need someone to do

costumes and makeup and stuff.

Okay, that shouldn’t be too

hard.

What about--

BOTH: Alyson!

See, we think alike.

It’s already coming together.

Okay, but what about a story

to go along with the song.

Well, that shouldn’t be too

hard.

(Laughing)

Speak for yourself.

I’m terrible at that creative

stuff.

Well, I can write it if you

want.

Really?

You’d do that?

Sure, I am the assistant

manager and I did help write the

song.

True, and you are the most

writerly of all of us.

So, who’s gonna direct.

You are of course; you’re the

manager.

Makes sense.

So, is it a deal?

Deal.

(Gasping)

I would love to do costumes

and makeup.

That would be, like, totally

fun!

Great, as soon as Sharon

writes the script we’ll have a

meeting.

Here, you might find this

helpful.

"A Writer’s Guide to

Infomercials"?

It’s the only thing they had

in the library.

That’s okay.

I’ve written it up here.

Now I just have to put it on

paper.

See, I knew you were the

perfect person for the job.

Thanks, but wait till you

read it first.

Oh, hey, I know it’s gonna be

great.

So, can you borrow your dad’s

camera to sh**t it?

I don’t think I’ll have time.

I still have to come up with an

idea for my project.

But you’re so perfect for

this, Connor.

Yeah, while you’re sh**ting

the video you can do a behind

the scenes documentary type

thing for your "man in media"

project.

Music video is media, right?

And you’re a man; well, sort of.

Hm.

Not a bad idea.

Let me talk to my dad tonight

about the camera.

This book’s really amazing.

What is it?

It’s by this movie director,

"Kip Windel."

Never heard of him.

Me neither.

But he’s directed a bunch of

films and he’s boiled his

directing secrets down to 7 big

tips.

Really?

Like what?

Number 1: act like you know

what you’re doing.

Hm, sounds basic.

Exactly.

I know I can do that.

Are you finished the script

yet?

In a sec.

Great, I can’t wait to get

started.

Here, Alden dreams about a

perfect world where everyone

gets along.

Sounds good.

But when he wakes up it’s

more realistic.

He fights with his brothers and

sees all the garbage in the

park.

Interesting, but isn’t it a

little heavy?

No way!

I mean, just imagine the scenes

with the song’s lyrics:

♪ There goes the neighbourhood

♪ There goes the neighbourhood

♪ There goes the neighbourhood

♪ Nothin’ looks the way it

should ♪

♪ ’Cause there goes the

neighbourhood ♪

Woohoo!

They sound great!

What did you do?

Kip’s directing tip number 2:

resort to lying if you have to.

I told them the winning band

might open for Ultragrip on

their next tour.

Okay everyone, listen up!

Sharon’s come up with this

amazing story and her family’s

letting us sh**t there on the

weekend.

Would you please hand out the

scripts?

Alden’s the lead guy.

Brock and Carmen, you’re the

brothers.

Marvin and Gibson, can you take

a break from special effects to

play the parents?

I want to be mom!

I want to be mom!

(Laughing)

I’ll let you guys figure it

out.

Okay, any questions?

Uh, all I have to do is grab

a cereal box from Alden at

breakfast?

Is that it for the brother?

Yeah, but you’re really mad

that he’s pouring himself such a

big bowl.

Yeah, really mad!

So, uh, how many close ups

will I be getting?

Enough, so you better crack

open your zit cream tonight.

Better be a big tube, buddy.

(Laughing)

What’s the matter, Leighton,

you jealous?

No, just more photogenic.

Sharon wants trash to blow in

different directions.

What do you suggest?

Uh, a compressed air cannon

and a wind machine.

Wouldn’t that make the trash

sh**t off in just one direction?

Hm, good point.

BOTH: Hm.

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

How about we rig each piece with

fishing line?

So we can pull them in

different directions!

Exactly!

But we should do a test.

Yes!

I am so loving this directing

thing.

Oh, wait till you see some of

the shots I’m gonna do.

Uh huh.

When Alden’s lying in bed I’m

gonna start off high and slowly

zoom in, then dissolve into his

dream.

Hey, how come you’re not into

this?

Maybe because I’m not really

in it.

What are you talking about?

It’s your band; your video.

Yeah, but all the parts are

nothing compared to Alden’s.

Well that’s just the way

Sharon wrote it.

And he is the lead singer.

But you’re the director.

Why does she get to choose who

plays what?

I didn’t think it was a big

deal.

You’re right, it’s not.

Forget it.

You know it wouldn’t be fair

if I started giving you special

treatment.

I know, I know.

Like I said, forget it.

I’m gonna make everyone look

great in this, Brock, no matter

what part they have.

Okay, you’re the boss, boss.

(Laughing)

Bye.

OTHERS: Bye

Kip’s tip number 3: make

everyone feel like a star and

you’ll wrap ’em around your

pinkie.

(Laughing)

Thank you, Kip.

I consulted Dion, and he

thinks we should make the dream

sequence very dreamlike.

I brought lots of costume

choices.

Great!

Look at these!

Aren’t they fabulous?

Um, they look like bathrobes.

They are!

My mother’s massage therapist

had a yard sale.

Hm, I like them and

everything, but Alden’s dream is

where the world looks perfect,

not, you know, weird.

Oh, hey, the guys can wear

them to protect their costumes

when they’re not sh**ting.

Sorry I’m late.

What’d I miss?

The guys’ll wear light

coloured jeans and t-shirts for

the dream sequence.

And the black for real life.

Oh, that sounds great.

Walkie-talkies, so we can talk

to each other from different

locations.

This is getting totally

professional.

And remember Kip’s tip number

four: get to bed early the

night before the sh**t.

Wakey wakey, I’m on the

walkie.

I hope you’re making breakfast

for the crew.

What’s she talking about?

What time is it?

MARIA: They’re all arriving

in 15 minutes so upsie-daisy.

Don’t tell me, the breakfast

idea is a Kip tip.

Number 5: always feed the

crew a good meal.

(Sighing)

Have I told you how much I

hate him?

CARMEN: No, you can’t shave

my head into a mohawk.

But Maria wants you to be the

rebellious brother.

I don’t care.

My parents’ll k*ll me.

You totally have to suffer

for your art, Carmen.

What about velocity?

Which pieces of garbage will

travel the farthest and the

fastest?

The chip bag versus the pop

can.

Or the cereal box.

The cereal box, right.

We also have to work out wind

speed and direction.

And trajectory.

Okay everyone, let’s get the

first shot.

You gotta have the gear for this

job.

We’re starting with the kitchen

scene.

♪ When I wake up every mornin’ ♪

♪ Every day it’s the same old

story ♪

♪ It’s always one thing or-- ♪

MARIA: Action!

Okay, cut!

That was perfect.

Mm, no, no, no, not really.

Carmen, you’re supposed to grab

the juice and go to the table.

BROCK: Maybe the wig’s

grabbin’ your brain.

Just try it again, please.

And Brock, more irritation from

you.

This is your favourite cereal

and Alden’s taking the last

bowl.

Action!

♪ It’s always one thing or

another ♪

♪ Mom and dad and my two

brothers ♪

ALDEN: Whoa, hey!

♪ Can’t help but feel

frustrated ♪

♪ ’Cause this place is

overrated ♪

Cut!

Sharon, the director’s the

only one who’s supposed to say

cut.

Oops, sorry.

It’s just that what Brock was

doing was so goofy.

But, I guess that’s why you

yelled cut.

(Laughing)

No, I kinda liked that part.

It was Carmen.

Um, what is so fascinating

inside the fridge this time.

Did you ever notice that the

light is always on in there?

Uh, let’s go again.

Why didn’t you tell Brock to

calm down.

It’s just supposed to be a

simple tug of w*r over cereal.

Yeah, but it was kinda boring

that way.

He started tying Alden up.

Don’t you think that’s a bit

much?

No, it was funny.

Action!

SHARON NARRATING: Funny?

The video wasn’t supposed to be

funny.

What was Maria doing?

Ugh, guys, we need to

rehearse.

Which scene?

Alden’s dream sequence where

the park is clean, everyone’s

happy, the brothers are getting

along--

I can’t find the dream

sequence clothes anywhere!

I don’t know what to do!

Um, it’s gonna be a few

minutes.

Alyson thinks your dream

sequence clothes were left in

someone’s car or something.

Heads up!

(Splashing)

Leighton!

Hey, mud looks good on you,

dude.

Oh, you think so, huh?

Ha!

Ha!

(Laughing)

MARIA: Guys, stop it!

You’re not 6 years old.

We’re never gonna make our

deadline if you keep this up.

All right, I give up.

But let me try something.

(Snipping)

I think it’ll work better like

this.

Let’s sh**t this for the end

where everything goes crazy.

Wow, they look so wild.

You like it?

Totally!

Action!

(Splashing)

Isn’t it great?

What are they doing?

MARIA: We’re waiting for the

dream sequence outfits.

In the meantime, I’m sh**ting

the ending.

But they’re supposed to be

wearing black jeans in that

scene and walking around like

zombies, not doing kung fu.

I know, but don’t you just

love this?

It doesn’t make sense!

What happened to bouncing ideas

off each other?

You weren’t here.

I went to the bathroom,

Maria, for like 5 minutes.

I’m sorry, but I can’t help

it.

My vision’s getting a little

edgier than what we first came

up with.

We?

And what about my vision?

You had your chance.

Now it’s my turn.

But you said you weren’t good

at that creative stuff.

I guess I was wrong.

Are you sure you don’t just want

to have it your way?

I’m positive.

All I want is for the video not

to be ruined.

That’s a matter of opinion.

GIBSON ON WALKIE: Hey Maria,

how smelly do you want the

garbage to be?

I’ll get back to ya in a sec.

Cut!

Uh, Maria, am I supposed to

be playing my guitar during

this?

Can we try again?

Did you see the hair gel,

Maria?

Look, I just think the

kung fu stuff and the ripped up

bathrobes look weird.

Sharon, I’m sorry, but I

don’t have time to talk about

this.

We have to move on.

Could you please go tell Gibson

and Marvin that you can’t smell

things on video?

Isn’t that your job?

At least we’re still using

something I helped pick out.

Sort of.

Maria thinks it would be more

fun to spray-paint them with

bright colours.

What?!

Don’t worry, it’s all

nontoxic.

(Sighing)

(Spraying)

♪ Everyday it’s the same old

story ♪

♪ It’s always one thing or

another ♪

♪ Mom and dad and my two

brothers ♪

BROCK: Hey, Alden.

ALDEN: Can we cut, please?

Sure, what’s up Alden?

Look, I’m not sure about this

new scene.

MARIA: Why?

It looks great.

Well, Brock’s supposed to be

my brother and you’ve got him

beating me to a pulp.

Yeah, it’s really cool, dude.

No, it’s a downer.

Look, I like what Sharon had.

You know, with me walking,

playing guitar, noticing how

gross the park is in normal

clothes--

BROCK: I’m not even in that

scene.

Yeah, but we gotta do what’s

right for the song.

Wong, would you tell him what

you’re doing is capturing the

essence of the song?

Oh, give me a break.

I’m the one who wrote it with

Sharon.

I think we know what the essence

is.

I’m just trying to make it

more dramatic.

Yeah, well, I want Sharon’s

opinion.

She’s the one who came up

with the idea in the first

place.

Ugh, we’re never gonna get

this done in time.

It’ll be dark in half an hour.

Air cannons and fans:

effective but safe.

Isn’t it awesome?

But it’s just supposed to be

a gentle wind.

Yes, but this is awesome.

Except it looks like

exploding trashcans are causing

the litter, not people.

Small detail.

Nobody’ll notice.

It’s the whole point!

This was just supposed to be an

added touch.

To be honest, I think this

should be the centrepiece of the

video.

Hey Sharon, can you come with

me please?

We need your opinion on

something.

MARIA: Yeah, Gibson and

Marvin, it’s Maria.

I need you guys on set.

Okay, the sun’s going down so

we’ll need lights for this

scene.

I’ll go start up the

generator.

Great.

And Marvin, can you give Connor

a demo of the garbage expl*si*n?

Most certainly.

I don’t think I should end up

on the ground like a total wimp

in a torn up bathrobe.

That’s not what you wrote.

No, that scene was supposed

to be about the world around us

falling apart.

But it’s also about people

hurting people, right Maria?

CARMEN: Yeah, but he’s your

brother, man.

You stay out of this, dude.

Whoa, major attitude from

Leighton.

Go fish.

Well it seems to me like

you’re just trying to give your

boyfriend more screen time.

That’s the last thing this is

about.

Ugh, I’m just trying to give the

video some-- some-- some energy;

some excitement!

Yeah, no one wants to watch a

guy walkin’ around a park cryin’

about litter.

Sharon’s the writer.

Doesn’t she get a say here?

Yeah, don’t I?

What happened to us agreeing

that I should be the director.

I thought we were partners.

We are, but someone has to

have final say.

That’s just the way it is.

Oh, let me guess: Kip’s tip

number 163?

You did your job and now it’s

my turn.

You know, sometimes writers

in Hollywood don’t even get to

be on set.

Uh, hello, are we in

Hollywood here?

No.

We’re sh**ting in my house and

in the park.

(Electricity whirring)

(Air hissing)

BOTH: Cool!

SHARON: Oh, why couldn’t I

just be quiet and let Maria do

what she wanted?

It wasn’t just you, Sharon.

No one was acting like

themselves.

Really?

Trust me.

You should see what I got on

tape; pretty intense.

Okay, we didn’t get the

finale but maybe there’s

something we could cut together

with the other stuff you shot.

Sharon, we’d be up all night!

So, it’ll be fun.

I know yesterday was really bad,

and some of us went a little

crazy, but Connor and I want to

show you something.

It’s not exactly what we set

out to do.

SHARON: But you might be

pleasantly surprised.

♪

♪ Every night when I close my

eyes I dream about how

everything will be all right ♪

♪ But I wake up every mornin’ ♪

♪ Every day it’s the same old

story ♪

♪ It’s always one thing or

another ♪

♪ Mom and dad and my two

brothers ♪

♪ Can’t help but feel

frustrated ♪

♪ ’Cause this place is

overrated ♪

♪ There goes the neighbourhood

♪ There goes the neighbourhood

♪ Nothin’ looks the way it

should ♪

♪ ’Cause there goes the

neighbourhood ♪

(Laughing)

Ah, that’s great.

That’s terrific, you guys.

Yeah, who cares if we win or

not.

That’s a great piece of

filmmaking.

You can say that again.

Totally.

I think we better go or we

won’t get this tape to TV3

before school starts.

By the way, I was reviewing

"Kip Windel’s" book last night.

Oh no, what now?

Well, I forgot about number

seven: the last big tip.

Go ahead.

And it’s the most important

one.

Tell me already!

Don’t take yourself too

seriously.

(Laughing)

Maria!

♪