03x12 - Just Quacks

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Beeping)

♪ Something tells me

I’ve been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was

never real ♪

♪ It’s seems I've changed

a thousand ways ♪

♪ I wish I looked

the way I feel ♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Braceface

(Geese honking)

HANNAH: Heads up!

Ugh.

Argh!

(Laughing)

Athlete of the Year, folks:

Sharon Spitz.

(Giggling)

Very funny, Adam.

Go long!

I got it.

BOTH: Yes!

Agh!

(Wood clattering)

(Gasping)

(Gasping)

BOTH: Are you okay?

Yeah, sure.

I’m really sorry.

Hmm.

It was an accident, Dad.

I’ll fix it right now, put

new boards up--

Just leave it, Alan.

You’ve done enough.

(Sighing)

Great.

Now your dad’s got another

reason to dislike me.

Am I missing something?

Who’s Alan?

My dad’s bad with names.

Your dad doesn’t like Adam?

It’s not that, he just

doesn’t know him.

They’ve never really connected.

You’re kidding.

It’s no big deal.

Oof!

Honest.

(School bell ringing)

(Students chattering)

Wow, k*ller test.

That section on isotopes?

Brutal, man.

SHARON: Yeah, Mr. Molahmet is

still mad, ever since Nina drew

that picture of his nose hair.

So, want to do something

tomorrow night?

Catch a movie?

Can’t.

I have b-ball.

I have track.

How about the day after?

Band rehearsal.

Skateboard demo.

O-kay.

The day after that?

(Pages flapping)

Baseball.

Hockey finals.

Week after next?

I’ll call you.

Catch you later, Spitz.

You’re making appointments to

see each other?

So?

We’re busy people.

SHARON: Doesn’t it bother

you?

What?

That you’ve hardly been

spending any time together?

Well, it does, you know, but

what I can do?

I don’t know.

Find stuff you can do together?

Cancel things that get in the

way?

You know what, you’re right.

Hold this.

Now, let me see.

I’m going to juggle my schedule

around to make room for Brock.

Okay, tomorrow, you and I are

supposed to go rollerblading?

Right.

You’re cancelling on me, aren't

you?

Only if you don’t get mad.

’Course not.

Anything I can do to help.

(Phone ringing)

(Groaning)

Where is that thing?

Oh.

Wong here.

Wong who?

Ha-ha.

Seriously, I bet you’re

forgetting what I look like.

Let me remind you: drop-dead

gorgeous, k*ller bod, great

teeth.

(Giggling)

I got it, I got it.

Okay, I just came up with one

of my brilliant ideas.

What do you say we find more

stuff to do together?

I say yes.

Can we start tomorrow afternoon?

Um, feel like going to my

bass workshop with me?

Oh, right.

I forgot.

Sorry.

Oh, don’t worry about it.

But let’s go through our

schedules and talk later, okay?

You got it.

Bye.

(Beeping phone off)

Rollerblading.

You back in?

Sure.

(Adam sighing deeply)

Hey, Adam.

Did you fix the fence yet?

Mr. Corbett won’t let me near

it.

This morning, I walked right by

him.

Usually, he nods.

He even says, "Hi, Alan."

Today?

No nod.

You have to get to know him.

Too late for that.

(Sighing deeply)

I bet he can’t wait for me to go

to college so he can push Hannah

to see other guys.

Why don’t you just talk to

him about, I don’t know, sports?

Tried it.

Okay, um, computers?

Didn’t work.

Tools!

Guys love tools, right?

Not Mr. Corbett.

Well, there has to be

something you have in common.

Thanks for trying, but you

might as well just forget about

it.

Maybe Hannah will send me a

postcard when I go to college.

What about your sandwich?

I’m not hungry.

SHARON NARRATING: Adam not

hungry?

Wow, serious.

I had to do something to help

him.

But what?

(Grunting)

Hi there.

Hi.

Need some help?

Nah, I can manage, thanks.

So, uh, nice weather, huh?

For fixing fences?

Yeah, it’d be hard if it was

raining.

The wood would get all soggy.

Something on your mind,

Sharon?

Yeah, sort of.

I love your hat.

Yeah?

Oh, yes.

It’s got a duck on it.

A blue-winged teal.

They winter in Central and South

America.

(Imitating duck call)

That’s a blue-wing's call when

it’s coming in over the

marshlands.

(Sighing contentedly)

It’s a pretty sight, Sharon.

Yeah, I bet.

Been studying ducks my whole

life.

Really?

This is from a group I belong

to.

We work towards protecting

wetlands where ducks live.

You’re a conservationist?

Sure am.

That’s awesome.

What’s your group called?

Just Quacks!

(Yowling)

Jeez, Sharon.

It’s what you should talk to

Mr. Corbett about.

Okay, okay.

I’m going.

(Door closing)

Go on.

You can do it.

We have contact!

And conservation is obviously

his thing.

Look at the stuff he’s given us.

Key chains, T-shirts--

The guy sounds kind of

obsessed, Sharon.

So?

Conservation is important.

Wetlands have the most kinds of

animals and vegetation and

they’re disappearing, and losing

a species has a domino effect.

For instance, if we lose frogs

we’d have more mosquitoes.

Can you imagine that?

I’d rather not.

Just Quacks has helped

conserve 10 million acres of

natural habitat in North America

alone.

Where do they get the money?

Well, from donations.

It’s a big organization, you

know.

What’s wrong?

I’m supposed to meet Brock

here.

(Panting)

Sorry I’m late.

What are you wearing that

for?

Today’s our golf lesson.

No, it’s not.

It’s rock climbing.

You got it wrong, Wong.

See?

Golf lesson.

(Pages flapping)

Rock climbing.

You wrote it down wrong.

Hey, you guys, time out.

Fine.

Cancel golf and we’ll go to the

park.

My dad booked this lesson for

us weeks ago.

Well, I can’t cancel rock

climbing.

I put a deposit down.

Okay, I’ll golf on my own.

Argh!

Why is he being so stubborn?

What about you?

I wrote it down properly.

Who cares, Maria?

You’re schedule's insane.

You guys are a couple.

You have to make compromises.

Well, he can start first.

ADAM: Hey there.

Hey, where have you been?

Mr. Corbett took me to the

lumber yard to buy recycled wood

for the fence.

Cool.

It’s a weird place: guys

standing around sniffing

woodchips.

At least you’re getting along

now.

Big time.

He wants me to join Just Quacks.

Got an orientation package and

everything.

Adam, I’m so proud of you.

Aw, knock it off.

(Cat meowing)

(Knocking on door)

Is there a test or something?

I could quiz you.

Nah, just info about what the

group does.

They have these big festivals

all over the country.

Wildlife awareness classes,

whole families go.

Look, they even have a branch

for younger people: Junior

Quackers.

(Chuckling)

Hey, maybe I should join.

Let me see.

Huh?

No.

Um, I mean, it’s not really your

thing.

I’m totally into

conservation.

Yeah, but this is guy stuff,

Sharon.

Up at 6:00 a.m. tramping through

the swamps, and some of these

pictures, guys are, like,

covered in mud.

Don’t even go there.

Hmm.

It’s worse than camping in

the rain, and you know how you

feel about that.

(Giggling)

Okay, I guess I’ll just give

them a donation.

(Doorbell ringing)

Maria!

Greetings.

I’ve got videos, snacks and a

scary article on how wearing

lip gloss can lower your IQ.

O-kay.

I thought we’d have a

sleepover.

Aren’t you booked up?

Surfing in Hawaii, maybe?

Bungee jumping?

Well, I was supposed to see

Brock, but he hasn’t called

since our fight.

Well, have you called him?

Well, I started to, but--

But what?

I didn’t know what to say.

ADAM: Did I hear the

doorbell?

Relax.

It was Maria.

Nice outfit.

Adam’s joining Just Quacks

tonight.

Think I need a tie?

I’ll get you one.

(Car horn honking)

Oh, that’s Mr. Corbett now.

This’ll just take a second.

Forget it, Sharon.

Huh?

What?

Adam?

Adam, wait!

Oh, he’s gone, Sharon.

He said forget about the tie.

(People on TV show laughing)

I found this in Adam’s

orientation package.

I don’t get it.

These are hunters, Maria,

with g*ns, and my brother’s

about to join them.

HANNAH: Just Quacks is almost

all hunters.

That’s why they're so nuts about

conservation.

So they’ll have plenty of

ducks to sh**t?

It does seem kind of

dishonest.

Did you check out their web

site?

No, I read their key chains.

It does outline their hunting

policy.

It’s not immediately obvious,

but it is there.

But that’s not how they come

off.

With the hats and the T-shirts

and the toy ducks, I trusted

them.

I trusted your dad.

I understand how you feel,

Sharon, and I’m not into hunting

myself, but it isn’t a crime.

How can you say that?

Because it’s true.

Hunting’s legal, and many people

feel it helps maintain a balance

when an animal population gets

too large, like deer.

Would you rather many of them

starve because there isn’t

enough food?

Of course not, but maybe

there are too many deer because

hunters also k*ll cougars and

wolves, which prey on them.

Don’t you think nature would

work it out if people didn’t

hunt at all?

Not necessarily.

My dad says many animal

populations are in trouble,

Sharon, and not because of

hunting.

What about the buffalo?

There used to be millions of

them, and they almost went

extinct ’cause of hunters.

I have to stop Adam before it’s

too late.

Could you please tell me where

the meeting is?

Don’t you think it's his

decision?

He’s doing this for you,

Hannah, to impress your father.

Please tell me where the

meeting is.

There.

That’s the place.

Boy, does Adam ever have a

big head.

I can’t see a thing through his

hat.

I know, but we have to fit

in.

(Chattering)

(Door creaking open)

(Gasping)

Wow.

Who’d have known this was

here?

Waterfowl identification guides?

Ugh.

Talk about phonies.

We’re supposed to fit in,

remember?

I know, but I can’t help it.

Well, help it!

Oh, look, there’s Adam.

Is he actually having a good

time?

Let’s just get him out of

here, quietly.

Sharon, good to see you.

Finding out about our Junior

Quackers program?

Uh, yeah, that’s it.

Are you planning to sh**t that,

too?

This?

(Chuckling)

Oh, no.

This is a state-of-the-art

decoy with its own remote and

everything.

We’re raffling it off tonight.

(Whistling)

Main meeting in the dining room

hall, folks, starting in five

minutes.

Refreshments afterwards.

Adam!

Oh, no.

MARIA: Uh, people actually

wear these?

Sure do.

(Chattering)

O-kay.

(Gasping)

SHARON: I missed Adam.

He must be in the dining hall.

Well, come on, then.

Don’t believe them.

They’re k*lling ducks, not

helping them.

Just keep your mouth shut.

Main meeting’s private.

Membership cards?

Excuse me?

MARIA: Oh, must’ve left them

in our bike packs.

What’ll we do now?

We’ll never get past him.

Okay, let me think.

CORBETT: And so, I’d like

to present Darryl Worsnovski

here with his Just Quacks pin

signifying that he is now a

full-fledged member.

(Applauding)

WOMAN: Good going, Darryl.

I always knew that boy--

Where’s Adam?

Can you see him?

To your right, 3:00.

CORBETT: Next up is Darryl’s

brother Pete.

(Applauding)

SHARON: Adam!

Sharon?

What are you doing?

I need to talk to you.

Meet me at the plant.

(Spoon clinking on mug)

Why didn’t you tell me the

truth?

’Cause you'd make a big

scene, like you’re doing right

now.

I don’t care.

You can’t go through with this.

CORBETT: Calling all new

recruits.

ADAM: Will you cool it?

SHARON: Adam, please!

Shhh.

Think of what these people

do.

You’re not like them.

I’m not going to hunt, okay?

I promise.

You can’t keep that promise.

Hannah’s dad will change your

mind.

No, he won’t, and you should

know me better than that.

CORBETT: And now I’d like to

call on Alan Spitz.

(Applauding)

Don’t embarrass me, Sharon.

Please!

Not in front of Mr. Corbett.

(Sighing)

Alan here is my

next-door-neighbour, and my

daughter’s boyfriend.

(Laughing)

Woo-hoo!

Woo-hoo-hoo!

CORBETT: I’m sponsoring this

guy myself.

Great.

(Phone ringing)

Hello?

Hey, hey, Wong, it’s me.

Brock!

Sorry, I can’t talk now.

Fine.

(Beeping phone off)

Oh!

(Beeping phone off)

(Gasping)

(Metallic quacking)

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

(Members murmuring)

Let’s get out of here.

Sharon, duck!

(Thudding)

CORBETT: Sharon?

I saw her earlier.

She was spreading lies about us.

Me?

You’re the liars.

(Crowd gasping)

Now--

You’re pretending to be

conservationists so you can have

more ducks to k*ll.

If it wasn’t for us, there'd

be no wetlands left at all,

Sharon, and without wetlands,

there’d be no ducks.

Why not just work to conserve

the environment and let the

ducks live?

Not all environmental groups

support hunting.

Because our members pay us to

conserve the environment so they

can enjoy their sport, which is

duck hunting.

No, k*lling ducks isn’t a

sport.

Baseball’s a sport.

(Laughing)

WOMAN: Get her out of here!

Take your sister outside,

Alan.

I think she needs some air.

It’s Adam, actually, and

we’re going home.

The hunting thing stinks, but

that’s your business.

The way you people treat my

sister, that’s mine.

I’m sorry, Adam.

I couldn’t help it.

No worries.

It’s all my fault.

If I hadn’t shown up at the

meeting, Adam would have gone

through it and your dad would

still like him.

He’ll get over it.

Oh, yeah.

It’ll take him weeks to work up

to ignoring me again.

He referred to you as "Adam"

this morning.

Really?

What did he say?

Let’s just focus on the good

stuff.

The thing is, he doesn’t tell me

who to date.

That’s all in your head.

And when you go away to college,

I’ll come visit you.

I’ll even watch those dumb

football games, okay?

(Giggling)

I guess so.

You’d better get your facts

straight, you big goof, ’cause

what you did at that meeting, I

respect it.

(Quacking)

SHARON: So, this group I’ve

been checking out, it’s called

the Pro-Wetlands Conservancy.

They’re into saving habitat,

too, but their policy is no

hunting.

They say so right up front.

Cool.

They also say that

pro-hunting groups use phrases

like "wildlife management" and

"habitat control" to get

people’s sympathy.

Hey, dudes.

Brock, what are you doing

here?

I called and asked him to

join us.

Way to go, Maria.

I wasn’t sure you'd come.

This couple thing?

Weird sometimes.

Tell me about it.

So, what’s on the schedule?

Well, we’re not golfing and

we’re not rock climbing.

I could not do that.

SHARON NARRATING: We all have

to compromise sometimes, at

least on the stuff we can,

’cause there are times when we

just can’t.

♪