03x02 - Weird Science

[bunniefuu]

♪ Something tells me I've been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was never real. ♪

♪ It seems I've changed a thousand ways, ♪

♪ I wish I looked the way I feel! ♪

♪ Braceface! ♪

♪ My life is complicated! ♪

♪ Boyfriend! ♪

♪ Don't want to talk about it! ♪

♪ Teenage! ♪

♪ I'll work it out in the end! ♪

♪ Braceface! ♪

Helen: honey, I'm so proud of you!

Sharon: what's going on?

Helen: your brother won an academic award for english!

Sharon: english? You're kidding!

No.

For your information,

I wrote an excellent and informative essay...

"Wrestling in ancient greece".

(Laughing)

Helen: sharon, control yourself.

I'm making your favourite dinner tonight.

Adam: some people find it very interesting, you know.

(Reading) "wrestling began over two thousand years ago,

In ancient greece.

It was a highly respected form of exercise!"

By who?

Sweaty guys in bed sheets?

No, sharon. By athletes.

Let's see... Where is he?

A-ha!

Milo! Who won five olympic titles in a row

And was defeated only once when he was old.

Almost 40.

Helen: forty is not old!

Sharon: wow, you really got an award for that?

Adam: yup.

And I'm gonna put it right here,

Beside mine and josh's.

Hmm, an empty space.

Guess it must be yours.

Too-da-loo

(Sigh)

Maria: he was just getting back at you for dissing his essay.

Sharon: an empty space is an empty space, maria.

It's what it represents.

Maria: yeah, less stuff to dust.

Oh, don't take it so seriously.

I can't help it!

That empty space is a symbol of my life.

Nina: duh. Tell us something we don't know, braceface.

Maria: what's with your hands?

I'm rehearsing them.

They got called back for a crumpet commercial.

Sharon: just your hands?

Nina: uh-huh.

The director said knuckles like mine--

A total rarity. (Laughing)

Maria: now there's an achievement.

Mr. Melamed: ms. Wong, b,

Mr. Jones, b minus,

Ms. Harper, a minus-

Yes!

(Students laughing)

What?

My parents say I have to focus more on school

Or they'll make me postpone my acting career.

(Teacher clears throat)

As I was saying...

Mr. Mackenzie, a plus.

Mr. Melamed: and finally, ms. Spitz...

C, right? Middle-of-the-road c.

Mr. Melamed: actually, no.

C plus.

Let's move on to something even more exciting!

The annual ninth grade science challenge!

As usual, it will be sponsored by the science club,

And will require a good working knowledge of our solar system.

But the challenge itself is to build a working model

Which accurately demonstrates a lunar eclipse!

As always, you'll be in teams.

The first one to successfully complete the challenge

Will win this year's trophy

And be immortalized on the science club's

Polymer wall of fame!

Cool!

Check out connor.

He is so gonna win.

Now, on to the teams!

Ms. Wong and ms. Harper.

Mr. Mackenzie and ms. Spitz.

Ms. Malitsky and mr. Jones...

Sharon: he was trying to cover,

But it was obvious-- getting me as a partner

Was a huge disappointment for connor.

And who could blame him?

I was the empty shelf girl,

(Sigh) not an award winner.

Sharon: but I want connor to win!

There's no way that'll happen if he's partnered with me!

Maria: that's not true.

You're just worried 'cause of your c plus.

Exactly!

Science is not my best subject!

Just do your best. Everything will be cool.

At least you don't have nina for a partner.

My challenge will be to keep from strangling her.

Sharon: okay, if the honeydew's the sun,

And the blueberry is the earth, no wait-

The kiwi is the earth,

And the blueberrry's the moon.

Okay, the moon revolves around the earth.

Hey! Don't play with venus!

I need that plum, lawrence!

Adam! You just took a bite out of uranus!

Connor: so, by then you knew the mass of the food

And the mass of the water!

Sharon: guess what?!

Sharon, you know gibson, right?

President of the science club?

And this is marvin.

They won the challenge two years in a row!

Yeah, sure. Hi.

Marvin: we used a calorimeter

To calculate the energy content of a squash!

Great.

Marvin: time to baste my bacteria!

Gibson: he's got an incubation project going at the clubhouse.

Connor: cool! I can't wait to see it!

I started work on the challenge last night,

Just to get a head start.

So did i!

Connor: I researched past lunar eclipses.

I worked with fruit.

Fruit?

It helped me get a feel for the solar system.

But we're not modeling the whole system.

I know, but it helped me see the bigger picture.

I'll show you!

Whoa!

Uh...i think I'll go set up our work station.

Sharon: and by the time I got to the science lab,

Connor had started the model without me.

So what?

It's a race, isn't it?

Yeah, but every time I made a suggestion,

It was like he wasn't even listening!

Look, the important thing is that connor wins.

Who cares how it happens?

Nina: excuse me?

It's against the rules

For teams to be exchanging information.

Maria: we're not exchanging information.

Nina: then what would you call that?

Some thoughts. My own, okay?

Fine. But I'm watching you

And if anything funny happens, I'll tell mr. Melamed.

Nothing funny is going to happen, nina.

We'll see.

Okay, they're dry. Time for fixative.

Spray!

(Coughing)

Here. Since you worked through lunch.

Thanks.

Wow, it's gotten more complicated.

Just added the arms.

We're way ahead, aren't we?

Of everyone?

Except nina and maria.

Nina: aren't the oceans more... Marine blue?

I invite you to start mixing paints.

And chip a nail? Are you kidding?!

Why exactly are you here?

To give you the notes

I dictated to my housekeeper last night.

You'll have to go and copy them.

Right on top. Just reach in and get them.

And don't snoop.

Connor: careful.

Sorry.

Something wrong?

One of my calculations is off.

I just can't figure out which one.

I think maybe... The moon's off.

Off how? Distance? Position?

I'm not sure. I just get the feeling.

Not the fruit again, sharon.

No, no. I made this diagram over lunch.

Did you base this one on vegetables?

Could you please just look at it?

Connor: no offence, but we don't have time.

I could really use a compass though.

And you want me to get it, right?

Right.

Maria: no time to talk. Nina's making me crazy.

Sharon: why did I even think I could do this?

Aaaaghh!

Connor: listen, sharon, about before-

Sharon: do photocopiers have memories?

Connor: yeah, sure.

I don't believe it!

You've done it, you've solved the problem!

Huh?

The one I've been stuck on!

You're a genius, sharon!

Sharon: I knew those calculations weren't mine,

But what was I supposed to do?

They made connor so happy,

And they made me look like a genius.

I had a creepy feeling in my stomach, though.

Had I just... Cheated?

Late for surgery, dr. Harper?

I'm hydrating my hands,

To make them soft and smooth for my call back.

Adjust the earth's axis-

Nina: what is going on here?

I saw your model yesterday and it was vaguely pathetic.

And now you two are ahead!

Maria: yeah, 'cause they're a team

And they've been working-- unlike you.

Nina: you cheated!

What are you talking about?

Maria: sharon and connor would never cheat!

Now get your gloves in gear, harper,

'Cause I'm going on strike.

But I need to win this for my parents!

You'll ruin my acting career!

Connor: on.

Okay, off.

Aaaghhhh!

Nina: my planet!

Female voice: (shriek)

Nina: sorry, mrs. Shickler!

Could everyone be quiet, please?

I'm trying to concentrate.

I think we're done!

Mr. Melamed: connor and sharon, over to you!

Connor: okay, here we go.

The planets are in motion.

The moon is revolving around the earth.

The earth is between the sun and the moon

Putting the moon in earth's shadow, or "umbra",

And if our calculations are correct,

A total lunar eclipse should occur in precisely

3... 2... 1...

Mr. Melamed: a perfect lunar eclipse!

Congratulations!

You'll be receiving your challenge trophy

At tomorrow's assembly!

(Applause)

Gibson: ...and so it is recorded,

The ritual photo of the victorious

On the polymer wall of fame.

The traditional filing of the science challenge notes

In the log book...

And last but not least...

The party!

Connor: so that's when it clicked!

The azimuth of the moon...

Mr. Melamed: is reckoned eastward from north!

These rice cakes are yummy.

(Sigh)

Oh the horror.

Gibson, hi!

I just love your soul patch.

Thanks.

Hey look, gibson's talking to a girl.

This challenge has really inflamed my interest

In science.

Really?

Nina: oh, yes.

And that science challenge log,

With the winning teams' notes?

I'd lo-ove to see it.

Marvin: come quickly!

It's alive!

In honour of you winning the challenge

I've created a new culture.

The "sharon spitz spore"!

I'm, uh... Flattered.

Of course, it's not ripe yet.

It's still a spore in progress!

Gibson: here it is.

Be gentle.

Oh, this is so interesting.

(Josh playing the piano)

Helen: we are so proud of you, honey!

Adam: I made this for you.

You can keep it here

'Til you get the actual trophy tomorrow.

Sharon: thanks.

Helen: I know how hard you must've worked, sharon.

To do well in a subject you're not comfortable with--

That's the real accomplishment.

And tonight, I'm making your favourite dinner.

Sharon: I didn't really work that hard.

Sure you did, just like me, on my essay.

English may be easy for you,

But I broke my back on that one.

Adam...

Adam: yeah?

Sharon: I'm sorry I made fun of your essay.

Adam: don't sweat it.

I have to tell connor the truth, don't i?

Connor: ready to accept the award?

Sharon: yeah, about that, um...

Marvin: the sharon spore is ripe! Come see!

Maria: whoa!

Marvin: sorry, we'd stop to help you, but...

Connor and marvin: time is of the essence!

Sharon: where did you get this?

They're my notes from the challenge.

Well, nina's actually.

She let me borrow them for a minute

So I could make a copy.

You okay?

Maria, I've really, really messed up.

(Applause)

Mr. Melamed: thank you, mrs. Shickler, for that moving speech

On safety in the hallways.

Maria: I'm not upset, honest!

Just go!

And now for the next item on the agenda,

The science challenge award!

This year's winning team is...

Sharon: I have to tell you something.

Connor: later!

Mr. Melamed: connor mackenzie and sharon spitz!

Yeah!

Before we start, I have to tell you all that-

Nina: sharon spitz and connor mackenzie are cheaters!

(Gasp)

(Surprised reactions)

Mr. Melamed: what's this all about, nina?

I have the proof right here!

My original science challenge notes, written in blue ink,

As dictated by me, to svetlana, our housekeeper!

And this photocopy, placed by the winning team

Into the science challenge log book!

Thank you for your help.

By the way... Lose the chin hair.

As you can see, these papers are identical.

Proving that there has been a grave travesty of justice!

Audience: (confused murmuring)

It was me.

Conner had nothing to do with it.

Connor: how could you do this?

Sharon: i-i know that you must hate me,

And I don't blame you.

Why did you lie to me?

'Cause I wanted you to win!

Bad enough to cheat?

No! It wasn't like that!

I just knew I was useless.

No matter how hard I tried, I wasn't helping you.

Remember when I asked you if photocopiers had memories?

Yeah.

Sharon: well, when you thought that paper was mine,

That I'd actually done something right?

I just wanted it as badly as you did.

I am so sorry.

I really, really am.

Connor: you know, the weird thing is,

You were right all along.

Really?

Yeah.

You just said it differently.

And if I'd listened...

This wouldn't have happened.

I'm sorry, too.

Guess our picture will be removed

From the polymer wall of fame.

Connor: or they'll throw darts at it.

Mr. Melamed: and the science challenge award

Goes to nina harper and maria wong!

(Applause)

(Nina blowing kisses) mwa... Mwa...

Thank you so much!

I guess I can remove the gloves for this!

Hey!

I'm ready for my trophy, mr. Melamed.

All: eww!

What? My hands!

Two days in latex gloves will do that.

Marvin: may I swab you for my project?

Get away from me!

My crumpet callback is ruined!

(Crying)

(Clears throat)

(Applause)

Thanks, everyone!

(Cheering)

Connor: all right maria and nina!

Sharon: connor and I had gone through a challenge of our own,

One they didn't give awards for.

And maybe we didn't win,

But at least we'd made it to the next round.