03x03 - Computer Creep Much?

[bunniefuu]

[beeping]

[theme music]

Hmm.

[gasp] Sweet.

[typing]

COMPUTER: To experience
the perfect union

between human and
technology, simply

put on the neural helmet.

Huh?

[screams]

[electronic noise]

[screams]

[music playing]

[SARCASTICALLY] Hello, we're,
like, totally lounging here.

Hmm.

[sigh] Ooh, Score!

A quarter!

[sighs]

[ANGRILY] Alex, you've
been tying up the bathroom

for, like, three hours.

I'm coming in.

I found a place that
buys hair by the inch.

How much do you think I can
cut before I look like a boy?

[grunts angrily]

Um

[gasp] [grunts] I
wasn't done with that.

Really?

Sorry, I'll get you another.

Oopsie.

I can be so clumsy.

Do you want another?

By the way, do you know
how much the recycling

center pays per bottle?

That's it!

It's on!

Clover, I'm sure
there's a perfectly

good explanation why Alex is
acting like a total wacko.

Right, Alex?

I'm sorry, guys, it's
just that I need some cash--

bad.

After my parents left on
vacation I kinda ran out.

But what about your allowance?

Girl's got needs.

New mega-grip rock climbing
shoes, 3D boy candy trading

cards, and have you seen the
price of latte scented candles

these days?

Um, color me obvious, but
what about getting a job?

So not an option.

A job would mean a
boss, and you know

I don't do well with bosses.

Alex, if I've told you
once, I've told you 100 times.

Now, look here, you--

I can't understand what's
the matter with you.

Why you--

That's a major understatement.

Yeah.

Don't you worry your
pretty little face.

We'll personally make sure that
you get a really nice boss.

[groans]

[music playing]

Free sample of Captain
Cluck's chicken wads--

the one with the clack.

The

[laughs]

So how's our little
spring chicken?

You guys are so not helping.

Look out, Sam.

She might peck at us.

Have you even tried
one of these things?

They taste like-- like--

Alex, I'm not paying you
to gossip with your friends.

You're hear to push the poultry.

Yes sir.

Good.

Now cluck like a chicken.

[WEAKLY] Cluck.

Cluck like a chicken
about to lose her job.

Cluck!
Cluck!

Cluck!

Excellent.

Now get back to work.

Easy, Alex

Yeah, don't let him
ruffle your feathers.

[laughs]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[thud]

Hello ladies and-- um--

chicken.

[laughter]

Ha ha, very funny.

Was that your one joke
of the year, Jerry?

Girls, your mission
will be to infiltrate

an evil chicken farm.

[laughter]

Just kidding.

Actually, a number of people
have been disappearing.

CLOVER: You mean a
number of nerdy people.

Oh boy, geek rescue.

SAM: Check it out.

I cross-referenced
their names and it

turns out that they
were all logged

in at the same cybercafe.

Good work, Sam.

You can start there.

Now for your gadgets.

You be equipped with
infrared motion detector

sunglasses, faux
snakeskin suction

boots, and an electro-hairnet.

Don't wear this in the shower--

you'll get quite a shock.

And I added the
magnetron hair curler.

G.L.A.D.I.S, I thought
we had a talk about this.

We did, Jerry.

I just decided to ignore you.

A new device that
will attract any metal

object to it like a super
powerful electromagnet.

Ooh, a hair curler.

You read my mind.

[screams] [growls]

Farewell, girls.

G.L.A.D.I.S: And good luck.

[screaming]

CLOVER: Whoa, it's empty.

I guess this place is too
geeky, even for geeks.

Yeah, we won't need
our disguises after all.

[gasp] Huh, looks like a
pretty normal cybercafe to me.

Let's take a look around.

Find anything?

Not yet.

Just poking around
through some files--

trying to see who used
this machine last.

[computer beeps]

Password?

Oh please, I'll
show you a password.

[beeping]

[gasp] [scream]

Face-hugger alert.

It hasn't given up yet.

Thing tried to jump on me.

Rude much?

Help us!

[gasps]

It went this way.

No, I think it's over here.

[gulp] Uh, guys, I found it.

Uh, guys?

That'll teach you to keep
your tentacles to yourself.

Jerry will want to
take a look at this.

Whoa.

I have to get going.

I only get an hour break
before I have to be back

in that stupid chicken suit.

Free samples of Captain Cluck.

Well, I'd like to
know what that spider

thing was trying to do--

talk about creepy.

I wouldn't be
surprised if it was

linked to those
disappearances somehow.

Don't miss our new
Cajun chicken blends--

the great taste of
chicken now in a drink.

[laughs] There's something
different about you.

Uh oh.

Let me guess--

you've done something
different with your hair?

That's not it.

Hmm.

[gasp] Could it be
that you're wearing

a pathetic chicken suit?

I almost feel sorry--

busting on you today is like
sh**ting fish in a barrel.

It's not What it looks like.

I mean, it is a chicken
suit, but it's-- um--

well, it's charity--

you know, the
Chicken Suit-a-thon?

Alex, what you doing?

You've got to be nice
to the customers.

I'm sorry, miss.

Here is a coupon for a
free chicken on a stick.

This

Whatever.

[clucks] I'm outta here.

Alex, if you mess up one
more time, you're out of here.

Oh yeah?

I can't think of
anything I'd like better.

What Alex means is, uh--

She can't think of
anything she'd like better

than giving away more chicken.

[laughs]

[ringing]

Ah, girls, at the mall, I see.

Quelle surprise.

Sorry, the Museum of Ancient
Boredom was closed today.

In any case the analysis of
that spider device is complete.

It's some kind of
neural interface device

designed to form a link between
the human brain and a computer.

Do we know where it came from?

It bears the
manufacturing mark

of Tetsuo Industries of Japan.

The owner, Tetsuo Takara,
is known as a genius

electronics designer.

Hey, I think that
guy designed one

of my favorite video games--

Turbo Ninja Monkey Attack.

Nerd much?
[coughs]

[nervous laughter]

Get this, if you
cross-reference Tetsuo's name

with the real estate database
you discover that Tetsuo owns

that cybercafe in Vancouver.

Looks like you're
off to Japan.

Sayonara.
[screaming]

Look at the armed
guards and searchlight--

this place is a fortress.

OK.

Well, we can't get in like this.

We need a disguise.

Well, this is a
computer factory, right?

So we need to dress
like total nerds.

OK.

This is way nerdy,
even by my standards.

Let's do it.

Whoa.

When did geeks get so ungeeky?

SAM: Yeah, those guys
look almost cool.

Hello, they're
still geeks, remember?

We just need a quick adjustment.

These are totally fab.

Can I take one home with me?

Come on.

[mysterious humming]

Do you hear that?

Yeah, the humming seems
to be coming from that way.

[door opening]

Whoa, heads up!

Come on.

Strange.

Why would a hallway
just end like that?

There's a seam in the wall.

Someone's coming.

Hide!

COMPUTER:
Identification verified.

Uh, I think we
need another way in.

SAM: Over here.

Ready?

One, two, three-- heave.

Great job.

You first.

Um.

[sneezes] Haven't these
people ever heard of dusting?

SAM: We found our nerds.

[typing]

CLOVER: They're beyond nerds--

they're techno zombies.

[typing]

SAM: There's Tetsuo.

ALEX: [gasps] That
neural interface that's

in control of these people.

CLOVER: But the
real question is--

what's he making those
techno zombies build?

[snapping]

[gasps]

[screaming]

[thud]

[typing continues]

Hmm?

TETSUO: [laughs]

Huh?

Hi-yah!

[gasps]

[grunts]

[thud]

I don't want to
be a party pooper,

but we're not
exactly welcome here.

Point taken.

Let's go.

[grunts]

[screams]

[screams]

[sighs] You got lucky, buddy.

[beeps]

[struggles]

[screams]

[screams]

[thud]
- Whoa!

[thud]

SAM: [groans]

Oh, thanks, Sam.

You're a pal.

Oh, this is becoming
a painful habit.

Wait, where's Clover?

[scream]

[beeping] [whirring]

[thunk]

ALEX: Phew.

Come on.

Who knows what they're
doing to Clover?

ALEX: What do we do now?

[gasps]

Come on.

Where's Clover?

And where did all
the zombie nerds go?

It's not like they
have dates or anything.

This is weird.

OK.

This is way past weird.

This is officially bizarro.

[clang]

[coughing]

SAM: Wow.

ALEX: What did
they do to Clover?

SAM: Ew.
Gross.

This is getting out of hand.

Time to call in some backup.

Right.

[dialing]

[gasps] Jerry?

It's so wonderful, girls.

Turn off the X-Powder!

[gasps] [struggles]

It's for the best, Alex.

Becoming one with the computer
collective is so liberating.

[screams]

[moans]

It all makes sense now.

Ow.

Stop doing that.

Resistance is a waste of time.

Zombie Sam, you've
been working out.

[struggles]

ALEX: [gasps]
You've got it, too.

Did you really think you
could out-think a computer?

What are you trying to do--
corner the geek sl*very market?

Each of us has a brain that
operates much like a computer

hard drive and processor,
and it's wasted on fashion,

gossip, watching TV--

[SARCASTICALLY] Hello.

What else are we supposed
to use our brains for?

With this data virus I can
turn you into a data terminal--

a node in my grand network.

You're not just a geek,
you're a total jerk geek.

My device will broadcast
the virus on every satellite,

radio, and TV station--

every cell tower.

No one will escape.

Not even you.

Wanna bet?

Why do they always
try to resist?

[gasps]

[screams]

Oh, I am gonna
be sore tomorrow.

[grunts]

Come on, Sam.

Fight it.

It's me, Alex.

Join us.

We need your brain.

That's a first.

[gasp]

Oh.

All right-- plan.
Plan.

Need a plan.

A gadget.

Oh, that's what I need.
Compowder?

No.
No.

Lipstick?

Well, I do need a touch up.

Wait, no.

Magnetron.

Sorry, Sam.

Oops.

[nervous laugh]

[struggles] [sighs]
What happened?

Sam, are you OK?

[sigh] You're back.

You must've returned
to normal when you

bonked your head on that sign.

[gasps] Of course.

It's the Magnetron!

Computers are super
sensitive to magnets.

Uh, do robot spiders
count as computers?

Only one way to find out.

[winces]

I'm starting to
think like a computer.

Me too.

Let's shut this party down.

[gasps]

Not quite, my soon
to be computers.

[screaming]

Yeah, well this
Magnetron was designed

for maximum curling power.

We just need a
little extra juice.

You've got full power.

Hit it!

Clear the way, sis.

This girl's got a
date with destruction.

[yelling]

[shorting out]

Huh?

Huh?

Hello.

Well, that was strange.

[crashing]
SAM: Yes!

It worked!
ALEX: Ow.

Hot.

I feel like I just rode the
Spinebuster a hundred times.

Excuse me, ladies,
but can anybody

tell me what is going on?

You don't remember?

The icky spiders?

The zombies?

Nothing?

TETSUO: The last
thing I remember

is coming across a
powerful new virus

when I was surfing the web.

We better get WOOHP to hunt
down that virus before this

happens all over again.

No doubt.

I've had my fill of
battling techno geeks.

No offense.

What?

Just drag and drop the file
into the new folder and there

you go-- your own website.

Wow.

Like, I never thought
it would be this easy.

Oh, hey.

We're sorry you got fired from
your job in the mall, Alex.

A chick like you
deserves better.

[laughs]

Yeah we know you were
an egg-ceptional employee.

Who cares?

This new tutoring
job is way better.

After our last mission I'm
practically a computer expert.

And the best part is--

I'm in charge.

There's no boss
telling me I'm late

or to stop gossiping,
because I'm the boss.

[beeping]

Uh, Alex.

What do I do?

ALEX: No problemo.

Just press this and this.

[screams] Help!

Help!

This isn't supposed to happen.

Where's a boss
when you need one?

You know, it might
not be too late to get

your chicken suit back.

Come on, don't get
your feathers ruffled.

[laughs]

OK, so maybe Clover was right
and I'm a total nerd bilingual

in geek speak, but hello?

Video games rock.

It's one thing to kick bad
guys butts in real life,

but try escaping the
Troggs on level 10

in Turbo Ninja Monkey
Attack when you've

fired off your last murr.

It's, like, total
corvoltage to the max.

And if you don't have at
least seven lightning bolts

earned-- game over.

Lightning bolt!
CLOVER: Nerd much?

[coughs]