03x02 - Freaky Circus Much?

[bunniefuu]

[music playing]

I don't rememver seeing
a carnival here before.

It's so charming.

Let's go for a rude.

Sure, why not, honey.

[sceraming]

Beverly Hills Glamour
Girls, take one!

Just pretend the cameras
aren't here, honey.

Hmm, I wonder what
could be keeping them.

Is

Clover!

What is going on?

Surprise!

I signed us up to be
on the hit reality show

Beverly Hills Glamour Girls!

You mean you signed us up to
be on some stupid reality show

without asking?

Hello, Beverly Hills Glamour
Girls isn't stupid, Sam.

It's highest rated teen
show on television.

We're going to be stars!

I don't care, Clover, it's
a total invasion of privacy.

Conflict.

I love it!

This is exactly what
Glamour Girls needs.

Wait, you're not
filming us, are you?

Because I desperately
need to re-gloss.

Glossing can wait.

We need to talk to you alone.

How are we supposed to
star in a reality show?

We're undercover
spies, remember?

It's no biggie.

We'll just work around
the whole spy thingy.

Hey, where did my
Glamour Girls go?

And where is my cappuccino?

Morning, spies.

Sorry to have
disturbed you so early.

You didn't disturb
us, Jerry, Clover did.

Yeah, for the first time I'm
actually glad we were WOOP-ed.

At least we're away from
all those nosy TV cameras.

Cameras?

Oh, you're just upset
because they busted

you in your flannel footies.

I should be so lucky.

I mean, hello,
wearing a towel here

Oh my, so you are.

OK, fine, so our
glamorous day started out

a little unglamorous,
but trust me,

once you girls get on
board the fame train,

you're so gonna love it!

All right, ladies, we
really need to get started.

People have been reported
missing in Toronto.

Thanks, Jer, that
really narrows it down.

Yes, well, all
we have to go on

is the missing persons reports
that have been flooding in.

There have been 10
in the last hour.

Why don't we map
out where the people

lived and average it together?

It might show us where they
were headed when they vanished.

Good thinking, Sammy.

Calculating coordinates now.

Wow, your new assistant
is like top notch, Jer.

Yes, yes, very impressive.

Can we focus, please?

Looks like all the
homes are within two

miles of the Toronto beaches.

Toronto!

You know what that means!

Um, a trip to the Great Lakes?

No, real maple syrup.

And now for the gadgets.

Today you'll get the Heat Sensor


sunglasses with
binocular function,

the sonic
disintegrator boom box,

and three henna tracer tattoos.

Extra, extra,
fashion newsflash,

Jer, arm band tattoos
were so last millennium.

I'll make a note of that.

Good luck on your
mission, ladies.

This place is a ghost town.

Nothing but a whole whack
of Carnival Diablo fliers.

Great, there's
only one thing that

freaks me out more than ghost
towns and that's carnivals.

That's weird.

There's no record
of the city issuing

a permit to Carnival Diablo
or any other carnival

in the last 20 years.

Then we'd better go down
and take a closer look.

OK, so either their
maid is totally lame

or Carnival Diablo
left town in a hurry.

Not that I'm complaining.

Hey, check this out.

Ah!

What's going on?

Sam!
- Get it off!

Help!

Your hand!

It's turned into a claw.

Ew!

See, this is why
I hate carnivals.

Even the mirrors are freaky.

I'll get this to Jerry
for analysis right away.

Then we'd better
get back to school,

home room bell is in 20 minutes!

But I can't go back to
school with my hand like this.

Especially not with Clover's
TV crews poking around.

Oh, don't worry, I'll
think of something.

Uh, are you sure
you're OK, Sam?

I'm fine.

Nothing a little butter
sauce can't cure.

Voila!

The answer to Sam's
little problem.

That;s your idea of an answer?
No, no.

I don't care how
freaky my hand looks,

I am not wearing
that tacky thing.

Um, Sam, you may want
to rethink the glove.

Oh no!

Oh, fine.

But if I start a new fashion
trend, I'm switching schools.

And, action!

Hi, I'm Clover but my
friends call me fabulous.

And my friends
call me outta here!

Me too.

I guess when they
couldn't have moi,

Beverly Hills
Glamour Girls changed

it's focus from pretty and
popular to freaks and geeks.

Jealous much, Mandy?

Or is envy green the hot
new skin color for spring?

Whatever.

Hey, what are those?

Uh, just our compact alarms.

Yeah, they go off whenever
our foreheads get shiny.

If you'll excuse us.

Good afternoon, ladies.

Any results yet on
why that mirror turned

my hand into a freaky claw?

Unfortunately not,
but another Carnival

Diablo has popped up in Brazil.

We'll check it out.

No problemo.

Good luck.

Wait, there is a problemo.

To get to Brazil we
have to get past Hans.

Three carnival
freaks, coming up!

Good thinking, Alex!

OK, even the highest
heel in my shoe collection

could not prepare me for this.

This is so weird.

In Toronto the carnival couldn't
pack up and get out of town

fast enough and here it's the
star attraction, with milling

crowds and everything.

Yikes!

Looks like Carnival Diablo
has been around a long time.

There's something
going on here, girls.

Look!

Help!

Hey you!

Stop!

Sam, hurry!

I'll be right with you

Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick.

Whoa, tres Versailles.

I think I'm in love.

Hey, look, you guys,
there's a piece missing.

Maybe this is where that
weird mirror came from.

Let's hope not.

That weird mirror tried to
turn you into a crustacean,

remember?

I hope you all enjoyed the
ride, because it's the last one

you'll ever take again as you.

Are these just the demented
ramblings of some insane guy

or am I supposed
to understand them?

In my prime, I was
known as the Octopus Boy.

Hey, you're that
kid from the poster.

You'd never know
he had extra arms

in there, who's your tailor?

A proud family
tradition eroded

by today's ridiculous
excuse for a carnival.

But I'm going to
change all that.

You will now finish your
ride in my Hall of Mirrors,

where it will turn you into
a wondrous freak like me.

And together we'll create
the greatest show on earth.

Oh no, we're next!

Ew, body lotion 911,
people, I'm blue and scaly.

At least you're not
the Elephant Girl!

It's gonna take a whole
team of Beverly Hills finest

to remove this nasty trunk.

Don't worry, girls, I'm on it.

Stop her!

Gotcha!

Not quite, fur ball.

Ahh!

Sorry, but a belt doesn't
really go with this outfit.

If you let go, I'll let go.

I'll get help
and be back ASAP.

The results from
the lab just came in.

The mirror is a mercurial
compound capable of altering

a person's DNA.

So that's how the ringmaster's
turning people into freaks.

Freaks?

My hand is just the beginning.

As in, Clover and
Alex are now more

zoo than Beverly Hills fabu.

Oh dear, that
doesn't sound good.

Speaking of not good,
the carnival just packed up

and skipped town.

How am I supposed
to help them now?

The henna tracer tattoos.

They must be inside.

How can I get close to
them without being seen?

Hmm.

OK, I've heard
of togetherness,

but that's a tad extreme.

I may be a fish, but
I still have rights.

Now let me outta here.

No can do.

Besides, doesn't everyone
want to be in show business?

For your information,
I already am in showbiz.

I'm a Beverly
Hills Glamour Girl.

Huh, what was that?

Nice move, Sammy.

You could totally
be in the carnival.

You think?

Because I've always had
a thing for the trapeze.

Hello, in a cage here.

We can talk about your bizarro
carney fantasies later.

Right, sorry.

Thanks!

My pleasure, but
we're not done yet.

Did you learn anything
else from the head freak?

Let's just say the
ringmaster's thinking bigger.

Much bigger.

OK, that is not good.

It gets worse.

Into the hall, like some
carnival ride gone mad.

That could turn an
entire audience into freaks

in a matter of minutes.

I think that's the point.

We have to stop
this from happening.

Their trip to Paris
definitely spells glamour but-

Will you excuse us for a sec.

OK, spill, how did Hans
know where to find us?

Would you believe
it was a coincidence?

No.

All right, all right.

I called him.

It was a moment of weakness.

I missed being a star, OK?

How can you be a star
when you're elephant-esque?

I thought I'd be
back to normal by now.

We don't have time for this.

Come on, we have an
audience to save.

That's it!

I know how we can
stop the ringmaster.

We gotta cut the power.

I've got it.

I think it's rusty.

Hey, what do you know!

The Pilates class is
really paying off.

Help, I cannot see!

Where did my Glamour Girls go?

Oh no!

The ringmaster has backup power.

I couldn't leave something
this important to chance,

now could I?

Why not?

It certainly would have
made our jobs a lot easier.

We haven't got much time.

Alex, stop the ride.

Clover, distract
the camera crew.

I'll handle the ringmaster.

Done!

OK, we've already
tried to stop the ride

and that didn't work.

If only I could
stop the mirrors.

I think you should
stay for the show.

You might get a kick out of it.

No thanks.

It's all just a bit too
freaky for my taste.

Mirrors, meet the sonic
disintegrator boombox.

Hey, where'd you go?

Time to finish you off!

There.

What should hold you.

Now there's something
you don't see every day.

What happened to
Clover and Hans?

And then, in second grade, in
a carnival much like this one,

I won the Little Miss
Butter Churn pageant.

I knew right then my calling
was to make the world

a more beautiful place.

For the millionth
time, honey, what is

up with the elephant costume?

Please?

Patience, Hans,
I'll get to that.

Now, where was I?
Oh, right.

Then in third grade--

Think we should
Rescue Hans from Clover?

Nah, I think Hans
can fend for himself.

Against Clover?

No way.

Good job, ladies.

See you back at home.

We'll see you soon, Jer.

When Clover's gonna be
finished is anybody's guess.

Here you go, Sammy, fresh
popcorn, extra butter sauce.

Ha ha, very amusing fish girl.

I'm just glad the WOOP
scientists were able to make

everyone normal again.

Entire weekend before my
skin stopped feeling scaly.

OK, ready or not,
girls, it's glamour time!

This week we follow Mandy--

Mandy?!

You've reached the
voicemail of Hans--

You Hans is too
chicken to even pick up.

I don't get it.

Why would he replace
us with Mandy?

Let's face it,
Hans needed a star

and we already have jobs
as international spies.

What can I say?

With my hair and fashion
sense, I was born to be on TV.

That should've been my line.

You've reached the
voicemail of Hans--

Poor Clover.

She'll be yesterdays
news tomorrow anyway.

I think after being
elephant girl for a while,

I have this whole new
appreciation for inner beauty.

Like, teens can be so shallow
and all, I'm not going out

with my hair looking like this.

Or, ew, like, who wears
Jordan jeans anymore?

But really, it's the
inside that counts.

Because like, hello, looks
fade and then what do we have?

We have what's inside.

Duncan's here and like only
the most awesome gorgeous guy

at school-- on the inside.

Duncan!