02x25 - When in Elkford

[bunniefuu]

♪ Something tells me I've been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was never real. ♪

♪ It seems I've changed a thousand ways, ♪

♪ I wish I looked the way I feel! ♪

♪ Braceface! ♪

♪ My life is complicated! ♪

♪ Boyfriend! ♪

♪ Don't want to talk about it! ♪

♪ Teenage! ♪

♪ I'll work it out in the end! ♪

♪ Braceface! ♪

Sharon: spring was in the air and so was love.

Maria and brock,

Connor and alyson,

Alden and marlo...

And me?

Well, at least I had my dogs.

Samson!

Come here, pigger!

Hey, sharon! Catch!

Oh. Sorry!

It's okay. I shouldn't have ducked.

You're still carrying around pictures of marcello?

Why not?

(Sigh) he's so romantic.

Maria: a cultural immersion trip to rome

And what do you come home with?

A crush on a guy who lives a gazillion miles away.

Hey, you came home with a crush on a guy, too!

Yeah, but at least brock lives in the same time zone.

Sharon: more love.

(Laugh) what're you wearing?

You laugh, but this outfit is symbolic of my venture

Into entrepreneurship.

Sharon: as what? A janitor?

Adam: no. I'm a founder of dirty deeds.

Sharon: huh?

We do the dirty deeds that people don't want to,

Or are too scared to do.

Sharon: like...

Adam: okay, let's say maria got this really ugly dress.

Maria never wears dresses.

It's hypothetical, sharon.

Anyway, you think it looks terrible on her,

But don't want to tell her in person.

For a nominal fee, we at dirty deeds

Will tell her for you, anonymously.

Sharon: hmmm. Interesting

Adam: it started as an assignment for economics class,

But I thought we could try it out in the real world.

I think you may actually be on to something.

Thanks. We open for business tomorrow.

Well, good luck.

Guess I'll go upstairs and check my e-mail.

Adam: you mean m-mail, don't you?

As in marcello?

Sharon: ha ha.

Boring...

Boring...

No. Lame...

Sharon: ahhhhhhh!

You're not going to believe it!

Marcello's coming to--

--To elkford. Ow.

(Laughing) perfect.

I hope italian guys love clumsy girls!

So what exactly happened in rome with this marcello?

Nothing, mom!

He said he was so inspired by our cultural immersion trip

That he decided to come to elkford for two weeks

And immerse himself in our culture!

Ah, elkford, cultural epicenter of the world.

Hey, I'm not making fun of your boyfriend.

I'm making fun of our town!

Boyfriend?

Josh teasing: sharon's got a boyfriend!

No! Marcello's not a boyfriend, he's a friend.

So he's not coming all this way just to see you?

Well, I'm sure he wants to see me, too.

But he's staying with maria

'Cause of their family connection.

Really. It's no big deal.

Okay.

Corn, honey?

Mom! You know I can't eat corn.

Sorry. I forgot.

So what sort of cultural activities

Do you have planned for you and marcello?

She means besides making ow--out.

Helen: excuse me?

Sharon: just ignore him, mom.

I'm gonna take marcello to the museum, and hiking,

And maybe even bring him to class

So he can see what a north american high school is like.

And I will meet him, I hope.

Of course.

Can I be excused now?

Helen: what about dessert?

No thanks, I really wanna give myself a facial,

You know, keep the zits at bay.

Adam: she wants to have a clear face for her friend

Who just happens to be a boy.

(Laughter)

Helen: adam! Drop it.

Buon giorno, marcello!

Benvenuto!

How's that sound?

Maria: fine!

You are so nervous!

Brock: there he is.

C'mon. Now's the time for all your practicing to pay off.

(Gulp)

Marcello: sharon!

Oh, forget italian! (Dreamy sigh)

They're speaking the language of love.

Marcello: maria!

Brock!

(Laughter)

Cute. Where'd you pick that up?

Brock: when we were in rome.

Sharon: well, now that you're in elkford,

We'll have to teach you some new tricks.

Like this?

Look. Isn't that romantic?

Yeah... Romantic.

Sharon: we're home!

Hello, doggies!

Are you a big doggie? Are you a big doggie?

Helen: welcome! You must be marcello.

Yes. And you must be dr. Spitz.

Please, call me helen.

And these are sharon's brothers, josh and adam.

Marcello: pleased to meet you, josh, adam...

Josh: yeah, it's really nice to meet you too,

I've heard a lot about you.

Okay, what is your dude holding?

A purse?

Oh, that?

It's a more of um, a european attache.

Sure looks like a purse to me.

Oh, adam, you're so uncultured sometimes.

I actually feel sorry for you.

Helen: everyone ready to eat?

Maria: look, your mom even likes him!

Sharon: yeah. This is gonna be a fun two weeks!

Marcello: buon giorno.

Sharon & maria: awwww.

Bellissima.

Adam: it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it!

Come one, come all! Dirty jobs all around.

(Tsk, huff)

Mr. Rosenberg: class, for those of you who didn't come with us to rome,

We have a real, live italian with us today.

Marcello, what can you tell the kids about rome

That they might have missed?

Well, they missed the forum and the colosseum,

The fantastic museums, the food, of course.

And they missed beautiful sharon in the moonlight,

Her hair glowing, even in the dark.

(Class laughing)

Who says I wear too much make-up??

Adam: sorry, I'm just the messenger.

Nina looks like braceface brought back a real, live souvenir

From her trip to rome.

(Laughter)

Don't mind her.

Who?

Nina.

She's just jealous you're visiting me from out of town.

No. She is probably jealous of how your eyes sparkle

In these fluorescent lights.

So what's this marco guy like?

His name's marcello and he's a cool dude.

Maria: hey guys!

Hey.

Anyone seen the lovebirds?

Aww. Isn't it wonderful?

I guess.

Can I see that?

(Throat clearing)

Sharon: oh! Alden, this is marcello. Marcello, alden.

Heard a lot about you, man.

So, what's everyone doing tonight?

Wanna go to life cycles?

I would love to!

What is it?

Alden: oh, it's this place where we hang. You can do laundry,

You can drink smoothies...

Sharon? Can I talk to you a sec?

Maria: I don't think brock likes me anymore.

Sharon: no way. Why would you even say that?

Maria: he just doesn't act the same way with me

In front of other people.

I wish he'd act more like marcello.

You're kidding.

Yeah. Bringing you a rose, opening doors for you...

Actually, it's starting to drive me a little nuts.

Maria: really?

Sharon: all the stuff he did in rome seemed really cool in rome.

Here, he just sort of feels... Out of place.

Exhibit a: man-purse--

Cool in rome, not so cool in elkford.

I think you need to give him a chance.

It's only been a couple of days.

Nina: I don't know what he sees in her.

Maybe he finds her braces exotic or somethin--

Oh! What're you doing here?

Sharon: it's the bathroom, nina.

Nina: whatever.

Maria: hey, don't you wanna sit down?

Brock: in a sec.

Is that the internet?

Sharon: yeah, they just put it in last week.

Bene.

I am going to e-mail my family

And let them know I am all right.

Is there something wrong?

I don't know.

It's just...

I'm not feeling the same way as I did in rome.

Maria: so what're you gonna do?

Have another smoothie and try to figure it out.

Want one?

Sure.

Be right back.

Sharon: I couldn't help it.

I saw my name and just had to know what he was writing.

Amo (love). Sharon.

My italian wasn't great but I got the gist of this one.

(Sigh) I love sharon.

There you are!

I was just writing about you.

Sharon: this was serious.

Not only was I not interested in marcello,

But he was practically planning our wedding!

It was time for drastic measures.

Olive oil. Perfect!

Ugh.

Great!

Thank you.

Mmmm. You smell just like my mama's kitchen.

(Sniff) ick.

Sharon: hey.

Marcello: I see how hard you run.

I admire that.

Marcello: then, when we rode over the cobblestones it was so bumpy,

She nearly fell off!

Sharon: pass the corn, adam.

Mmmm mmm!

Yesiree, those cobblestones were really--

Kinda painful, don't you think?

Bella.

Helen: hi, honey.

Marcello's gone off to meet maria for a movie.

You didn't want to go with them?

Nah, I have algebra to catch up on.

Helen: so, how are things going with marcello?

Sharon: actually, things are kinda weird.

I knew something was up when you ate corn tonight.

Sharon: I don't know, mom,

I'm just not into him.

I mean, I was for a minute in rome

And the e-mails were fun and everything...

But in person, he's a little too much, too soon.

So, he's not exactly just a friend, is he?

No, I guess not.

But that's what I'd like him to be.

Helen: then don't you think you should tell him?

Sharon: yeah. I just don't know how.

It's hard, I know.

But he's got more than a week left here,

And he seems pretty ga-ga over you.

It's only fair, sweetie.

You know what? You're right.

Consider it done.

Hello, I'd like to hire you.

Adam: (sigh) sharon, what're you doing?

Sharon: how'd you know it was me?

Um, I've known you for fourteen years?

I need to hire your services.

Adam: I can't take your business, sharon.

It's a conflict of interest.

But--

Why don't I reassign you to my colleague, here, tony?

It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it.

How can we be of service?

Well, there's this guy

And you can't miss him

'Cause he carries this purse around with him...

Alden: so marcello, how's it going with you and sharon?

Marcello: wonderful! She is a very special girl.

Alden: yeah.

Marcello: where is the men’s room?

In there.

Marcello: I will be back in a momento.

Brock: so, is that what chicks want?

Some guy who's gonna sweep 'em off their feet?

Alden: I don't know, man.

Brock: 'cause I don't think I can do that stuff.

It's just not me.

And what's with this?

Do I have to go out and buy a purse now?

Alden: sure. Picks up the highlights in your hair.

(Laughter)

Tony: it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it.

Brock: "being in italy with you was amazing,

But it wasn't meant to be between us.

Can we still be friends?"

What! Maria's breaking up with me.

Man, I can't believe she didn't do it in person.

Brock: I knew this was gonna happen.

I'm just not romantic enough for her.

Alden: you know what?

Pretend you didn't get the note and beat her to the punch.

Let her think you broke up with her.

Brock: excellent idea, dude.

In a few minutes I'm gonna be single again.

You like? I send you one from roma.

Brock: uh, thanks anyway, dude.

Sharon: he just came over to you and said it was over?

Out of the blue like that?

Maria: I told you he was acting really weird lately.

I can't believe he'd just cut it off like that

Without a conversation or anything!

Me too.

I feel bad enough that he broke up with me,

But not knowing why makes it even worse.

What a coward!

Sharon: he's not the only one.

Maria: what do you mean?

Sharon: I broke up with marcello.

You did? When?

While you were in geometry.

Oh, that's really too bad.

Sharon: and I also didn't have the guts to do it in person.

I hired dirty deeds.

Maria: oh, no! Sharon, that's awful.

I know! But I just didn't know what to say!

I mean, marcello's great and all,

But he's just too much.

I hope he's not home. I can't bear to see him.

Sharon, is that you?

(Gasp)

Maria: sounds like he's home to me.

Marcello: but all of the time we spent in rome...

All of the e-mails.

I came thousands of miles to see you, sharon.

I thought you liked me, too.

I do like you, you're totally great.

It's just, you're 16, I'm 14...

We're in different places.

Love is love, no matter what the age.

But that's just it. I'm not sure it's love.

For me, anyway.

You are sure about this?

Thank you for being honest.

Honest? Yeah, right. With a note.

A note?

Yes. Dirty deeds.

My brother's business?

Didn't some guy in overalls come up and give you a note?

No.

Were you carrying your bag today?

Of course.

But, did you maybe leave it someplace for a minute,

Or something?

No. I--wait a momento

Yes, when I came out of the men's room,

Brock was holding it.

That means...

He probably got the note I sent you!

Why do you keep speaking about this note?

Sharon: brock didn't mean to break up with you!

He got my note, the one for marcello

And he must've thought it was from you.

Sharon, please don't defend him.

But it's all a misunderstanding!

I don't care.

If brock made a mistake and wants me back,

He's gonna have to do something really special.

Okay, you're the romance expert.

What do we do now?

I have an idea!

Maria: sharon, I don't wanna go!

But you don't even know where we're going.

I don't care. I hate surprises.

C'mon, isn't it better being in the fresh air

Than moping in your room?

Maria: no!

Brock: dude, I'm really not in the mood

To go to sharon's for dinner.

I guarantee you will like what you find there.

Maria: why are you doing this?

Brock: dude, why're you doing this? We broke up!

Sharon: because there's been a major mix up

And it's all my fault.

I hired dirty deeds to send a note to marcello

Which you got by mistake.

You didn't send it?

No. If I wanted to break up with you

I'd do it to your face and tell you why.

Brock: oh boy... My bad.

Maria: so, you pretended you didn't get it

So you could break up with me first.

That is so... So...

Sharon: awful?

Maria: yes and...

Marcello: childish?

Maria: uh-huh and...

Brock: really, really stupid?

Maria: you got it.

Brock: I'm sorry, maria.

But it is kinda funny.

Marcello: good. You smile. Now you eat.

Sharon: marcello made the pasta and sauce

And I made the salad.

Marcello: mangia, mangia!

Brock: this is awesome!

Maria: so, um, can I ask you something?

Why have you been acting so weird lately?

Maria, I've never had a girlfriend before.

I don't know how to act.

Well, you could try being a little more romantic sometimes.

Brock: yeah, I know.

But I don't think I'm really good at that kinda stuff.

Maria: maybe you just need some practice.

I'll work on it.

Maria: oh, but that doesn't mean I don't like you the way you are.

Brock: really?

Maria: of course!

(Armpit noises)

(Laughter)

This noise, it is considered romantic here?

Sharon: hey, when in elkford...

(Laughter)

Well, it looks like things are back to normal.

With a little help from us.

Thanks for being so cool about everything.

No problemo.

You going somewhere?

Yes, to an italian movie with your friend, nina.

My friend, nina?

This is what she said

When she talked to me after school today.

Nina, huh?

I can't believe she just ran up to you and-

I'm sorry, sharon. Do you mind?

Of course not.

Have a good time.

Arrivederci, my friend.

Sharon: whoever said, "be careful what you wish for"

Sure was right.

I got what I wanted,

Then didn't want it anymore.

But it did bug me a bit about marcello and nina.

Go figure.

(Armpit noises)

(Maria laughing)

The language of love.