01x07 - Loneliness and Solitude

[bunniefuu]

I'm home.

Yota!

I'm so sorry about earlier.
- Huh?

You must feel annoyed for a family member
to come and talk to you

when you're with a friend.

MUMBLE MUMBLE

Oh, goodness. And you are at that age…

No. It's fine.
- Why did I call out to you?

Thanks for the food.

Come on, now.

No fair! Haruto's getting all the fun.

Could you wait until I'm done eating?

Now!
- So loud!

You two…

RUMBLE RUMBLE

WHOOSH

Stop bothering your brother!
- Daddy!

Do the airplane again!
- Do it!

Daddy's done for now.
- Come on!

Wanna tag out?

You don't have to do anything, Yota.

You kids.

Thanks.

Daddy!

NOISY NOISY

The sounds of the day
swirl around and around in my head.

I have to stop the noise,

or it consumes me.

Nothing.

Think of nothing.

I have one little sister,
and one little brother.

And I tell you what, man,
are they stubborn!

We were trying to decide
what to have for dinner the other day,

and my sister said, "I want pasta!"
but my brother said, "I want curry!"

Neither would budge. And then…

My younger brother and sister
are still little.

It's too noisy at home.

Have you been out here all this time?
- Yeah.

But I want to spend some time zoning out.

The more I think about it,

the more the words he's said
start falling into place.

But even if I am right about this,

is this really something
I should be getting involved in?

If someone says they're fine,

who am I to worry?

Who am I to intrude further?

EPISODE 7
LONELINESS AND SOLITUDE

YUISHIRO

Listen, Koyuki.

Your father and I are getting a divorce.

LOVEBIRDS

I knew they weren't like those
perfect couples you see on TV.

I don't think that.

I knew they argued when I wasn't looking.
- I work myself to the bone, you know?

I knew. I knew all this.

And yet…

I still felt safe in the knowledge

that Mom and I were close,
and that Dad loved me.

I felt confident that those things
would keep them together.

I thought it would all work out.

But was I in fact someone…

YUISHIRO - HIKAWA

…that Dad could live without?

Her water bottle is so lame.
Like, it literally makes me laugh.

Stop it, Manatsu.

I didn't fit in.

I never felt like I belonged,
no matter where I went.

Koyun, what do you find
so repulsive about Igarashi?

I feel sorry for the guy.

I felt empty, not being able
to share my feelings with anyone.

I thought what if…

What if nobody really cares
whether I'm around or not?

The thoughts crept in,

and slowly tore at my heart.

CLUB WITHDRAWAL FORM

Back then,

being with others
was when I felt most alone.

GRADE 1 CLASS 2

WHEW… WHEW…

Yota is not me.

His circumstances
are completely different to mine.

YOTA - WHAT TIME DO YOU FINISH
CLUB ACTIVITIES TODAY?

What's right to me
and what's right to him may be different.

But still, I feel like I understand.

Go!

I know how lonely it feels
to be around others

and still feel like you don't belong.

Koyun?

Probably around dismiss--

Hey, your phone!

Geez.

KOYUKI

Koyun?

Sorry about that. Thank you.

I saw it.

PROBABLY AN UPRISING

What does that mean?

PROBABLY AROUND DISMISSAL

SORRY, TYPO! LOL

PFFT

BLAZING CHINESE GYOSHO

And then I dropped my phone
before I could fix it, and it sent.

I was like, "What kind of typo was that?"

BIG HANDS

I'm not very good at typing on my phone.

Grandpa.

I have superseded "Dad" now.

Sorry for dragging you out like this.

I don't mind.

So…

My…

My parents are divorced.

Huh?

Which means I'm on my own a lot
when I get home.

So if you're free,
and it doesn't have to be all the time,

but I'd really like it
if you'd help me k*ll time after school.

I'd like that.

That's very kind of you, Koyun.

Huh? No, it's not.

I'm so narrow-minded,
and I'm quick to anger.

That's not true.

I see you as a kind person.

Sorry, but…

can we have a chat for a little?

Sure.

Ever since Mom passed away,
Dad has always been super busy.

He never makes it
to any school events either.

PARENT VISITATION DAY

I tried not to think about it
during parent visitation days.

FIDGETY
LOOKY LOOKY

And then…

Hello, Yota. It's nice to meet you.

You're very tall.

This is Akari.

Dad introduced me to my current mom.

Sorry, he's very shy around others.

Yota. No need to force it, okay?

UM… UM…

Mom is very nice to me.

But…

Akari! I think I can get
my paternity leave.

Really?
- Yeah.

I'm so happy! Thank you.
- Finally.

Sometimes I wonder.

I told you so.

Do I even exist?

I feel like I'm the only one
who is different in my family.

I know I'm probably
just being overdramatic,

but once I start,
I can't stop thinking about it…

I'm always running away from it.

Yota. You can't blame yourself
for your thoughts or the way you feel.

I get it so much that it hurts.

You may be wrestling with
"why do I think like this?"

But the more you blame yourself,

you start to despise yourself, right?

You can run away from your environment,
but you can't run away from yourself.

You're amazing, Koyun.

You see right through me.

Hey, Koyun? You're crying?

Don't mind me.

This is just like a glitch in my system
when I can't process my emotions.

What?
- I get it all the time.

Huh?

He is different in gender,
in build, and in personality.

He is so different to me,
and I envied him for that.

I thought Yota's kindness came
from his strength of heart and composure.

But if it's because he bottles things in,
or if he's given up already…

That would be heartbreaking for him.

Yota. You don't have to be
a "good" person.

So please don't t*rture yourself.

SIGH

Thank you, Koyun.
Sorry for talking about such weird things.

No, it's not weird at all.

I've never talked about this
with anyone before.

Definitely never talked about it
with Minato, or anyone like that.

You really love Amamiya, don't you?

Not really?

If you say so.

And if I can be of any help,
I'm all ears if you need me.

When you bottle things in, your heart…
It, like…

It eventually just gets covered in soot.

Soot?

Yes. Soot.

When it builds up,
it clouds your outlook on life.

Before you know it, you're stuck.
- Soot, soot!

Soot, soot…

I see.

That does make sense.

What do I do?

Koyun. I gotta tell you.

I…

I'm in love.

What?

I'm in love.

What?

With Miki…

What? What?

You mean "love" love? Not like? "Love"?

PANIC - EEK

Both.

No way.

I had no idea!

But you're always so calm?

No, I'm really not.

PANICKING INSIDE

I'm always a total mess
whenever I'm around Miki.

What? No, you're no--

You are.

MIDDLE SCHOOL
DO YOU LIKE MIKI?

Minato's known for a while now.

NO, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?
- YEAH, RIGHT…

But he bugs me, so I just deny it.

I guess you would feel embarrassed.

Wow, now what? This makes me so happy!

What's the real me?

I don't know what I'm feeling anymore.

Don't go creating an ideal version of me
and then get disappointed!

GRRR!

Miki. Somebody likes you for you.
Just the way you are.

And he's such a wonderful person.

FIDGET FIDGET

Are you going to ask her out?

Koyun? Where did all
this energy come from?

Sorry. I'm just happy.

[SUPER HAPPY DANCE]

But…

How does Miki feel?

I haven't thought that far ahead.

Or rather,
I don't even plan on telling her.

I just like her. I like Miki.

And I value her as a friend as well.

I know she probably
doesn't see me in the same way.

But…

I feel like as time goes on,
it feels like I'm just deceiving her.

I'm starting to feel like I need
to apologize for liking her.

WHOA!

Didn't I tell you not to t*rture yourself?

Soot, soot…

Don't tell anybody
what we talked about today.

Of course I won't.

I'm absolutely rooting for you,
but I won't do anything to give you away.

Thanks.

Feels like a thumb.

It is my pinky.

I'm glad we became friends, Koyun.

Me too.

Yota, welcome home.

I'm home.

STARE

Did you take a detour home?

EEP

Did I get home too late?

Yeah, I was with a friend.

I knew it.

You look happy, so I thought
something good must have happened.

Huh?

Yota!
- Kids!

PIT PAT

You gotta dry your hair first.

Good grief.

Yota always just goes off to his room.
- Yeah!

So we came to see you.

Yota, Yota…
- Go dry your hair. I'll wait.

You will?
- Yes.

WHOOSH

Goodness…

Yota. There's ice cream in the freezer.
It's the good kind.

But dinner first, okay?

HMPH!

The kindness of others
is slowly seeping into my heart.

How did I ever think I didn't belong?

Soot…

I see it now. I never realized it before.

It's quiet tonight.

It's been a while.

BREAD

Did you sleep well last night?

Yep. Like a log.

I see.

Huh?

You got the drinks?

Yeah.

Hi, Amamiya. It's been a while.

It has.

What's this?

It's my trio!

What a haul.
- What a haul.

You're having bread
from the school store for lunch too?

Get a load of this.
I left my lunch by the door at home today.

Oh, dear.

What? They still had sweet red bean buns?

Yeah. Do you want it?

No, no. I'll pay you. How much?

WATCHING

MIFFED

HMM…

It's fine. You can have it.

No, let me pay.

Then let's say, ten yen?

No way was it ten yen.
Then let's at least trade.

TUG

Amamiya.

What did you do over the winter break?

She initiated conversation.

I guess I mostly did club activities.

I hung out with some classmates a bit,

and took my dog for walks.

Dog.

FUZZY - DOG

What else?

I always seem to put my foot in my mouth
whenever I talk to her.

I never know what to do.

Hey. You got a name?

Huh? Me?

No. For the dog.

Your first name is Minato, right?

It's Ponta.
- Huh?

The dog! My name's not Ponta.

What am I even saying?

FLUSTER FLUSTER
PONTA AMAMIYA - PONTA

Amamiya's first name… is "Ponta."

Hey, could you not lose it over that?

Sorry.

SWEET RED BEAN BUN

You really like your sweet red beans.
Don't you, Miki?

Can't go wrong with sweet red beans!

Right, Koyu--

Is Ponta doing well?
- Yeah.

I'm always taking photos.
- Am I…

Yeah?
- Am I being a third wheel?

SHOCK

Koyun!

WHOMP - TAKE THAT - AH

What was that for?

SIGH

I just got a surge of energy.

That's your reason? You're dangerous.

Hey.
- I'm sorry.

You don't gotta force it.
- It's fine.

SMILE GUARD

Sorry. I couldn't help it.

Now, look here! Don't make that face.

SMILE GUARD ALPHA

I'm sorry. I'm sorry!

What's this?

Koyun and Yota…

They're getting on so well.
- They're getting on so well.

TODAY'S RECOMMENDATION
SAVORY BREAD FAIR

I'll be going now.

You're eating in again?

Yeah.
- Eat in where?

NORIKO FROM THE NURSE'S OFFICE

The nurse's office is not a café!

I'll see you later.

See you later.

Two people I like very much
seem to be hitting it off.

That's all this is, so…

So why does it get me so excited?

So, hey.
I know this is still a long ways off.

But shall we have another four-way
study session for the end-of-year exams?

Sure.
- Hooray!

I'm gonna set those two up!

SO EXCITED

Hey, isn't that Miki?
- Okay! Time to study hard.

And isn't that Hino and Amamiya with her?

Is that how Miki usually behaves?