06x24 - Charcuterie Party

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- Your father is not your father?

- He's % not my father.

- Oh, my God. - I was lied to

for years of my life,

and it's f*cking hurtful.

I just want happiness from here.

You're like the big sister I never f*cking had.

- This is kind of kumbaya for them.

- I'm just taking this all in because there's no drama,

and I'm very happy about it.

- Hey, we made it!

- Where's the VIP?

We're at the Borgata Resort and Casino.

Pauly is DJing. [crowd cheering]

- [over bullhorn]Come to Premiere Nightclub tonight.

- I actually took my DNA test.

He's not my dad.

- Oh, my God. - I'm sorry.

- I'm so glad that Jenni and I made up.

I need that right now.

I need all the support I can get.

[upbeat music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- I'm still the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

♪ ♪

- ♪ I'm not the enemy ♪

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- Whatever you need to do for you,

and what makes you be able to move on, right?

- I don't even know who I am right now.

I was very nervous to actually open up

about my dad not being my real dad,

but everybody's understanding, which is really cool

because I really need that right now.

- There's no hits on the andMe?

- No. - No family members in--

like distant ones?

- Like distant ones, but like distant-distant.

- Doesn't make you any different, though.

- I know.

- My mom's adopted, and she told me

this doesn't get easier ever.

So I can't imagine what she's going through

because that's just awful.

- There's nothing in the DNA system of this man.

- Bathroom? - I'll go with you.

- Angelina's going through an identity crisis

where she doesn't know who she is.

To go down that journey of finding your father,

is he alive, that takes a lot of determination.

- So her father is not her father?

- Mm-mm. - Man, who's her real father?

- We don't know.

- How do we find him?

- Well, I think we're gonna have to bring back

The Investigation. - Oh!

My favorite question to ask women is "Who's your daddy?"

so this is gonna be easy.

Let's investigate, kid. - It's happening.

- Mike loves to stir the pot,

but this time, intentions are really good.

But you're playing with fire when you are digging

into someone's personal life.

- Ange, would you be happy

if you actually found out who the father was?

- Yeah, I would be really-- yeah.

- On an all-new season of "Law and Shore-der"...

[police radio chatter] When seeking the truth,

there's only one man to call,

The Investigation.

- Oh, I have to take a sh*t. - Ew.

- Come on, baby, go take a dump now.

- I can't sh*t here. - Why?

Just go-- go to the bathroom here.

- I know. - So you're gonna hold it?

f*cking-- - My as*h*le knows.

Like, it knows, like, where to go.

- He literally can go anywhere.

- I'll sh*t anywhere.

I'll sh*t under this table.

- OK.

- Go to the bathroom now.

- Nah, I can't do it. I need, like, my throne.

I'm a germaphobe,

unless I'm eating a*s,

then all bets are off.

[laughter]

- Oh, my God.

- It's about that time, guys.

This DJ has to go.

All right, guys.

It is that time.

It's my first night DJing at my brand-new residency

in Atlantic City at The Borgata.

- Hey, you guys ready? Let's go f*cking dance.

- Let's go. - You can't bring your--

- Why can't I bring my drink?

Oh, because I guess it's like a restaurant.

[slurping]

[upbeat music]

- Ooh! - Oh, my God.

Put me to bed.

- We still have a long night, Jenni.

[indistinct yelling]

- Atlantic City, make some noise

for DJ Pauly D!

[all cheering]

- Means the world to me to have my family come here

to support me and see me DJ.

After all these years, they still got my back.

We turning up tonight.

If you came to party, make some noise!

- I can just like remember

back in the day going to Pauly's show.

- What type of a following do you have?

- My venues sometimes fit

people. - Wow.

- Let's go.

♪ ♪

Put them up!

- Whoo!

He's just really made an insane career for himself,

and he deserves everything.

- I don't know if they told you.

Sam is back!

- Whoo!

- Oh, hey, Sam.

♪ ♪

- You go, Pauly.

♪ ♪

I need you to make some noise for my brothers one time, MVP.

♪ ♪

- Technically, I'm a felon, and I can't hold a g*n, you know?

[chuckles]

- [screams]

- Let's go. I'm out.

That f*cking air cannon.

- Oh, my God.

Hate it. - Oh!

- Every time you forget this f*cking thing

is about to go off, bam.

Knocks you on your a*s.

It went up my hoo-ha.

Like, the thing is pushing

like -mile-an-hour ice-cold wind up your a*s.

[crowd cheering]

Whoo! Stage!

Like, I love going on a stage with Pauly.

Everybody's cheering.

And I'm gonna like drop it like it's hot right now.

- ♪ I'm so fresh, yeah, wipe me down ♪

♪ So clean, don't wanna back down ♪

♪ All that pride, pick it up ♪

♪ Don't be mad 'cause paparazzi want my close-ups ♪

[music distorts and stops]

- Meatball down!

Down goes the meatball.

Down goes the meatball.

I haven't fallen in so long.

- Yeah, that was--

This was an amazing way to kick off my new residency.

[glass shatters]

- Oh, my God.

I'm thinking it's time to go home.

- I know my limit, and I'm drunk,

and I have to go.

I guess this is what happens

when you get a bunch of moms out for the night.

- Meatballs defy science. - Yeah.

- I'm fine. - Hold onto me.

Hold onto the railing.

- The saucy meatballs.

- He is such a great person, this guy.

This guy's a great person.

- That was fun though.

- It was. - They all had a good time.

- Watch this.

DJ Pauly D, all right?

Watch closely. - Yeah, because he--

- Watch closely. It's right here, Deena.

Just kidding, it's right here.

- What the f*ck? Ugh.

- You're not impressed?

[mellow pop music]

- ♪ Wake up in the morning ♪

♪ And I hear a guitar ♪

- Well, I don't feel great.

- [groans softly]

- Look at this view.

- It's time. We gotta get back to the babies.

It was a great date night out for...

[Lauren yawns] Mom and Dad Situation.

Vibes were amazing.

The squad was getting down like no time has ever expired.

[jazzy music]

We had an amazing night last night,

but the Situations have a very, very busy schedule.

Tomorrow's Lauren's soft opening.

She's opening up her own store, the Bijoux Boutique.

- It's official. I picked my grand opening date.

- OK. - I was planning on inviting

all of the girls. - OK, of course.

I think that they will be excited.

She's been working on this for a long time,

and I am so excited and proud for my Laurens.

We have to set up for the big party tomorrow,

so it's time to get home.

Let's go.

- ♪ La, la, la, la, la, so hot ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, I'm burning up ♪

♪ Ring the alarm ♪

- I feel like I forgot something.

[music distorts and stops]

- Oh, sh*t. Poor Vin.

- Hi. - Hi.

Thank you for coming. - Did everybody else come?

- No, you're the only one.

[chuckles] - Are you f*cking kidding me?

She lives right here, bro. - It is what it is.

- The first moment she gets to throw us girls under the bus...

- She does. - She does it.

- I felt like some people could have changed their sh*t around.

- I'm done. I'm leaving.

I'm not doing this with you anymore, Angelina.

- Are you kidding me? - I'm done.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- All right, baby girl. We're ready for you.

- I'm really proud today.

Along with raising two kids right now,

my wife put together a store,

and now today is her soft opening.

OK.

She was by my side and had supported me

through recovery...

It really was hard work.

- It is hard work.

And it's hard work every day.

- Through my imprisonment.

- It's crazy, dude. - [sighs]

I'm, like, the worst right now.

- So I will be there every step of the way

to support her and help her in any manner in this business.

Angelina said that she was actually coming.

- Yeah, Ange is coming. - Ange said

she was coming. - I'm so excited for that.

I know a lot of them can't make it today.

- I'm a little disappointed right now that some

of the other girls couldn't make the store opening.

- Deena texted me this morning saying congratulations.

- Aw. - She said the kids had

a dentist appointment.

- I have a phrase that I live by.

And it's from my recovery.

And it's called, we show up today.

So I always show up for my friends.

Sam said maybe. But I don't know.

- She texted me. She has something

for her store. - Oh, OK.

- So she couldn't come. - It really sucks.

But this store is gonna do amazing.

- Thank you.

- Am I going the right way? - Yes.

You gotta get there.

- ♪ Let's have a little competition in the spotlight ♪

♪ Don't care if we just look a little bit too fly ♪

♪ It's not that complicated ♪

- Don't mind if I do.

- Hi. - Hello.

- Nice to see you.

This is a big deal.

My first customers walked in the door.

We're actually making sales and ringing things up.

And I just--I love it. I'm speechless.

- ♪ Ooh, I need to move ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, check out my shoes ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, do that dancing ♪

♪ Baby, oh ♪

♪ Do you want to do that dancing? ♪

- Don't mind if I do.

- Hi. - Hi.

Thank you for coming.

- Sorry if I'm late. - You're fine.

- Hey. - You love that jacket, Mike.

- Yes, I do. - Your flight jacket.

- I do. Thanks for coming.

I appreciate that Angelina showed up

despite a lot of drama going on in her life right now.

- This is so cute, Lauren. - Thank you.

- Pick out something for me. Let's go!

Wow, like, Lauren's opening of her store,

there's so many people there.

I'm here to support Mike and Lauren.

And I just want to have a good time.

Whatever you have to do. - Extra small, perfect.

- It's so tiny.

- Oh, hon, it'll be dragging on the floor.

You're tall, so you can wear

sh*t like that. - I'm not.

- I'm gonna walk out with you though, I think.

- Let me grab you a drink.

Tequila and grapefruit.

- Where--did everybody else come already?

- It's delicious. No, you're the only one.

- Are you f*cking kidding me? - I am not kidding.

- I feel like everyone should be here right now.

- Yeah, I don't know. I mean--

- It is what it is. - Yeah.

- You're like-- you're a realist.

And you know not to have expectations.

- Right. Yeah.

It's--I mean, it's sad.

Like, your friends are not here.

Why are your friends not here?

It was kind of, like, a buzzkill.

But she wasn't wrong.

Like, she was stating the obvious.

- Like, you know, I just-- I feel like we should

all be there for each other.

- I think when you're--yeah, I think it's a nice thing...

- Yeah. - When people do that,

when they say they do it, and then they do it.

- And not just say that they do it,

and then don't really do it. - Yeah. Yeah.

- That's a-- I see where you're going

with that one, girl. - That's why

I think I love you now.

- So what's up? - I just had

a great conversation with your wife.

- What happened? What happened? What happened?

- No, I was just-- - No, I told her it's fine.

- No, I was just like, where is everybody?

And, like, I was actually...

- You know what? Listen, listen.

- I have to be like him. - Yeah, same.

- Listen, obviously, we would like...

- That's good. - You know,

some of the other girls to show up.

But if they're busy or-- you know, or something,

I don't know-- - It is what it is.

- Then--then that's it.

- I don't know, I just think we should

all be supporting each other.

And in sh*t like this... - I agree.

- I see sh*t going on, and I'm like--

- I agree. I agree.

- No, I agree. - I don't like that sh*t.

Yep. - But--but you'll hear it

if you don't send an invite, though.

- Oh, yeah. - Whatever.

All right. All right. - What the f*ck? I'm here.

- All right, come on. Come on. Come on.

I gotta talk to you for a second.

I mean, listen, I would have loved for them to show up.

But I gotta take the high road. - But, like--

- Listen, I told them I was upset

when they didn't show up for baby day.

- [gasps] Hi.

She's so small.

- Oh, my God. - I know.

- How precious.

I'm not trying to start sh*t.

I'm being real. - I'm trying to give everyone

the benefit of the doubt. - Please don't go back

and be like, Angelina's stirring sh*t.

- No. No. - We're having a real--

- Listen, the truth is the truth.

- Listen, I'm not perfect.

But I always show up.

And I'm just f*cking calling it how it is.

And that's why I always get into sh*t with the girls

because they don't like that.

But I'm not gonna change myself for anyone, sorry.

Jenni always says you're her neighbor.

You always-- - I am.

- You defend this f*cking girl.

- I do defend Jenni all the time.

- All--all the-- she lives right here, bro.

Like-- - She does.

I have to--listen, I have to give her...

- That's weird. - The benefit of the doubt.

- All right. - She's got two kids.

- All right. - I'm still allowed

to be a little upset, that's all.

Because I would have loved for them to be here, that's all.

- You have every right, like I just said.

- You know?

I also wanted to bring you outside

because I remembered you saying

that you would like to find out who your real dad is.

- Yeah. - And--and you might even

like some help with that.

- Yeah. - So I got a lot

of resources in the streets. - OK.

- And I'm willing to bring back The Investigation, OK?

I'm willing to bring back-- - Oh, sh*t.

OK. I see where you're going.

- I'ma bring back the boards.

- The ones with my marital sh*t on it?

- No, I'm not bringing back them joints.

- Oh, I was like, not f*cking that one.

- All right, I got a sidekick.

His name is the Keto Guido.

- He knows people?

- He doesn't know anybody. - Oh.

- He's just my sidekick. He is gonna help me,

OK, execute this mission.

- Do you think you're gonna find him?

- I believe that myself and Vincent have the resolve

and the determination to see this thing through.

- I would appreciate that. - OK?

- At this point, I'm going to take all the help I can get

with finding my-- my real dad because I know

that my real dad's out there somewhere.

- This is not going to be a joke.

It's not gonna be disrespectful.

- Yeah, I don't want it to be a joke or--

- No, no, you have my word.

- OK. - We're gonna be positive...

- Yes. - Like we're being positive...

- Today. - On this store opening today.

- Correct. - OK?

- Nothing but positivity here. - Yes.

And also, I'm not going into group chat today

about, like, this whole store opening thing.

- Don't even do it. - Like, I'm not, I'm not.

- Like, don't say, Angelina came in and said this.

- No, no, no, no. I'm not. - Like, I'm just being

a realist with you. - No, I am real too.

- You know I'm not trying to start sh*t.

- I would've liked them to show up.

They didn't for whatever reason.

Like, whatever. - They're gonna be like,

Angelina said that? [growls]

- I would have liked them to show up.

It is a little upsetting

when others do not reciprocate.

- f*ck it. Just let's go inside.

f*ck that sh*t.

- ♪ Nobody do it like this ♪

♪ Like this, yep, yep, yep, yep ♪

- A waffle board.

A pretzel board--oh.

[line trilling] [gasps]

Hey, Samantha.

It's Nicole.

- I know you are not FaceTiming me.

- It's fine. You don't have to be on, freak.

Hey, Ange.

I'm doing a charcuterie board party

at my Shore house.

And I want everyone to come.

It's just us girls. So we're gonna catch up.

We're gonna have drinks. And everyone has to bring

their own charcuterie board.

Like, I've seen it on TikTok.

I mean, honestly, this is, like, on every social media.

I just feel like it's so fun.

And I feel like the girls

are really gonna appreciate this.

So I'm gonna do the meats and cheeses and pepperonis.

But there's, like, different ones.

I'm looking online. You could do a waffle board,

do a fruit board.

- Ooh, can I do a pizza board?

- Yes!

- All right, looking forward to it.

Love you. - See you soon. Bye.

- ♪ See more affection in your pupils ♪

♪ Eyeing me like I'm your savior, hallelujah ♪

♪ Bossed up four times, quadruple ♪

♪ ♪

- Yo. What up? - What up, fam?

- Welcome. - Pssh.

What up, Tita?

- Hang your jacket? - I--I would say

BDS is in the building,

but actually, it's The Investigation today.

- Yes, The Investigation is in the building.

This literally is a building.

- There have been some developments

in the Angelina Pivarnick investigation

that I must discuss with the Keto Guido ASAP.

Here's the thing, a real deal professional slid into my DMs

recently because she saw the episode

of the girls in wine country.

- One time, my mom was-- I don't--

she said she was f*cking with me.

But she said, your father might not be your father.

- Girl.

- What's her name?

- Hold on. Let me tell you right here.

Pamela Slaton.

- Slaton? "Pamela Slaton,

investigative genealogist slash DNA expert."

- Mm-hmm. - Wow, this is a legit thing.

- Yeah, super legit. - She was with Oprah!

Bro. - Oh, snap.

- She knows Oprah. - OK.

- This is legit.

- Hello? - Hi.

Is Pamela available, please?

- This is she. - Hi, Pamela.

This is Mike "The Situation."

And I saw a message from you

that you saw one of the recent episodes.

- Yeah, I was really touched by the episode

when Angelina was speaking about her birth father.

And I was like, I gotta reach out.

I'm here to help.

- OK, OK. I was wondering if in the next couple of days,

you can come to my home and we can really find out

what the next steps are in this process.

- I would absolutely love that.

- Pam is a pro.

I can't wait to have this woman on board.

- Tell Oprah I said hi.

- ♪ It's my best life ♪

♪ Hold up while I take a bite ♪

♪ 'Cause it feels right when I'm walking like I'm talking ♪

♪ Better watch out, living on the edge ♪

♪ I'm out on the West, babe, living out my best life ♪

- Sit, Rockys.

[doorbell rings] [gasps]

Who's that? Who's that?

- Ooh, I see some good soups in there, honey.

[doorbell rings]

- Is that the doorbell?

- Was that the doorbell? - I think so.

- What is this?

- This isn't Amazon.

- What is this?

- Babe.

- Sam? - Yeah?

- Are you expecting a package?

- No.

- Well, this was on the front porch.

- Doesn't say who it's from.

- Maybe it's a baby gift? - Yes.

- I hope nothing comes flying out at me right now.

- I hope it's new shoes.

- Ooh.

- Oh, this is so--

definitely not from you. - Nah.

- Pauly D. That's me.

- Ooh, a love note.

- I'm assuming this is from Deena.

- "Since Family Fun Day has been such a success,

I think we should do a"--

- "Family Fun Trip"--

- "To Orlando"!

- Talking about the next trip,

I was thinking Margaritaville.

- Oh, perfect.

- Me and Chris went to Margaritaville

a couple months ago in the summer.

And we had the time of our lives.

And I feel like this could be our next family vacation.

- "See you there, and don't forget to wear your shirt.

Love, Deena."

- Deena sent a shirt.

Apparently, Deena, like, does this.

- I hate her shirts. [laughs]

- Of course, there's a shirt.

What is this?

- Family Fun Trip.

- How do you know that's what it means?

- Because I can read. - [laughs]

- Family Fun Trip.

And it's hot pink.

- I'm gonna look funny in this, man.

- Oh, hell nah.

- This shirt's huge. This has to be for you.

- For me?

- There is someone special in my life.

His name is Justin. And we've been dating

for a little over a year and a half.

He's amazing and nothing like any of my exes.

It's an XL.

- I'm invited on the Family Fun Trip?

- I think you're invited.

Do you want to come with me to Orlando?

- Absolutely.

- Oh, it's happening.

Justin's gonna meet these people.

And honestly, I totally am nervous about it.

I'm a part of the Family Fun Trip.

I feel honored.

- These stupid shirts.

I don't know what you mean, Deena.

I never got your package.

- ♪ Let me tell you on the low ♪

♪ Let me tell you on the low ♪

♪ How high I'm feeling ♪

♪ I'ma get you on the ropes, I'ma get you on the ropes ♪

- Where in the world did I put it?

I can't remember where I left it.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

In here?

In here?

We do got a duck phone though.

Hello?

She's gonna have to call you back.

Come on.

Oh, I know.

Oh, damn. [laughing]

Here it is, Sam.

You need a makeover, you poor girl.

[all screaming]

- What the [...] is that?

- If you're not a guido, then you can

get the [...] out of my face.

[all yelling]

I'm the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

- Exactly, you're the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet,

except you don't really look like it.

So we need to give you a makeover, girl.

It's time for actual Sam to meet the Sammi doll.

But this woman's been through a lot.

- [grunts] - Ron!

- Ugh, you're the worst. Ew.

Ugh!

- Oh! - Sammi!

- [grunts and screams]

- Stop, babe! Stop!

- Damn, bro.

- Oh.

She can't meet the actual Sammi looking like this.

She'd be embarrassed.

So I need to give her a makeover.

We gotta get you cleaned up, girl.

And your feet are a little jacked up.

- Ron! Stop! - [laughs]

- If you're not a guido, then you can

get the [...] out of my face.

- ♪ Get this party started ♪

♪ ♪

- Yum, yum, yum.

Mmm.

So today is the girls' day.

I'm gonna have a charcuterie party.

And we're gonna have some prosecco and wine.

It's just gonna be, like,

a nice girls' day at my Shore house.

- ♪ Let's get this party started ♪

- [screams]

[laughing]

Never done that before.

- Oh my gosh, it's heavy.

Hello? - Hi.

- I brought a dessert charcuterie.

Sammi Sweet-treats.

- [laughing] Sammi Sweet-treats.

[doorbell rings] - Oh, my God.

- It's so heavy. - What'd you bring?

- Tequilas and Takis.

- Ooh. - Oh-hoh.

- Hello. I think I've got this.

Oh. Ah, man.

I dropped some of my mozzarella sticks.

We could just blow on them.

I did a pizza board.

- Oh, sh*t.

- So cute. - There goes my diet.

And I have all cheese, meats, crackers.

Cheers to girls' day. all: Cheers.

- [burps]

- I ate that. - Sorry. Sorry.

- I think I just swallowed it. - You did eat it.

- That was guacamole. - You ate it.

- ♪ There's no telling ♪

♪ When this thing is gon' run out of gas ♪

♪ Let's push it full throttle ♪

♪ Put a hundred on the dash ♪

[eerie music]

- Stop!

If you're not a guido, then you can

get the [...] out of my face.

- Oh, damn.

You look rough.

Let's get you cleaned up. Come with me, girl.

- ♪ I run this ♪

- I love a Pauly D makeover

this time of year.

- ♪ Yeah ♪

- I'm gonna fix you up.

And everybody's gonna be so happy to see you.

Let's get you disinfected first.

Oh, man.

Ugh. Oh, no.

Where's your eye?

- Stop! Stop! Stop!

- Oh, my God!

I k*lled her.

- Blow.

[snorting]

Whoops, sorry about that.

Duct tape fixes everything.

All right, we gotta make sure your head doesn't fall off.

- ♪ I run this ♪

♪ Come to bear ♪

♪ I run this ♪

♪ I, I lock them in ♪

♪ I run this ♪

- I'm the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

- Yes, there you go.

It's gonna be weird having two Sams in the building.

- I'm done with it. Stop!

- Don't tell me to stop. I'm helping you out.

[laughs]

I want you to look good for everybody.

- I'm glad we could all do this today.

- Yeah. - I'm excited to just hang out.

But of course, Ange is very late, as always.

- How the f*ck do I get there again?

Am I in the right area?

Did I like--

did I get lost-lost?

Wait, I'm gonna put my navigation on again.

f*ck.

I'm really excited for today.

All's good in the world right now

between the girls and I.

And so I can't wait to go.

- How's everyone been since the brunch?

- [sighs] I don't know.

- I was fine until I talked to Mike yesterday.

So a little backstory...

[dramatic orchestral music]

I go to Mike's house yesterday for a playdate with the kids.

And Mike brings up to me

that Angelina clearly wanted to make Lauren's event

about us not attending and was saying

that we're not good friends to Mike and Lauren.

- Where is everybody?

Where the f*ck is-- is Jenni, your neighbor?

She lives right here.

- Are you serious? - Yeah.

- We just squashed it all.

So why are we back here?

Like, honestly, why?

- Here I am, people.

Oh, I don't want to hit Jenni's car!

Uh-oh. [chuckles]

- She's trying to pin all of us against each other--

like him against us now.

- She just doesn't realize the things she does.

- All right, I'm here.

I really overdid myself today.

- The last conversation I had with her was,

we're gonna, like, try and mend our friendship.

The first moment she gets to throw us girls under the bus...

- She does. - She does it.

And, like, I just can't do this anymore.

- Oh, for sure. - We need more prosecco.

I'm not in a headspace for this.

I'm hungry.

I want a "mimoser."

I want to relax.

Like, this is not what I planned for today.

- Hello?

Um, hello? - Hi.

[hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ I'm a queen, I'm the queen round here ♪

- Here you go, Sam. - ♪ She a queen ♪

- ♪ My world, my sphere ♪ - I brought you

your favorite drink.

- I'm the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

- Just a couple of old friends lounging by the pool.

You're not drinking your drink.

- There is no Sam and Ronnie right now.

I'm done with it.

- There you go.

Let's give the chooch a call.

Hey, there he is. What's up, my chooch?

- Bro, you'll never believe who came to hang with me today.

- Nope. Close.

Sammi.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, well, not that Sammi.

This Sammi.

[laughing]

- Ron, stop!

- I'm bringing the Sammi doll with me to Orlando.

But shh, don't tell anyone.

- Pauly is so weird.

[chuckles] Like, literally.

- Don't tell no one. - I won't.

- All right. Bye.

He's excited.

- If you're not a guido, then you can get

the [...] out of my face.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hello?

Um, hello? - Hi.

- Is this good enough for you guys?

- It's pretty. Good job.

I'm proud of you.

Cheers. - Get it, girl!

This is great. We're all doing cheers.

I wish it was always like this.

So is everybody excited to go away?

- I am.

- Wow, we're going away with drama, me and you.

We're--we're walking in with no f*cking issues.

- Are you sure about that? - Whoo!

f*ck yeah. - You sure about that?

- Why, you're--we're so bad? - No, we're not bad.

- We're not--we're not--I'm not saying, like, we're besties.

But I'm saying like, we're--we--

like, I'm not walking in with, like--you know.

[tense music]

What happened?

[chuckles] Like, why is Jenni making a face right now?

- So has anything happened since AC?

- No. The only thing is,

I went to Lauren's opening of her store,

and Mike said he wanted to help me find my dad.

- Oh. - Wow.

- Why are you looking like that?

- We already know she was

talking sh*t at Lauren's event.

So we're all just waiting for the b*mb to drop.

- Wait, I have a question.

- Ohh.

[b*mb explodes]

- And, uh, yeah, Sam--

Sam's deciding to just drop it right now.

- That was, um--

Mike was very upset.

- Wait, what?

What are you talking about?

- He was like--

- That's not what we heard.

- Oh, my God. Here we go.

- What did you hear? - Wait--but no, wait.

What did you hear?

- Well, it's not what I heard.

It's what he said.

He was very upset that nobody showed up.

And then he said, well, if he didn't give you guys

an invitation, it would have been an issue.

I don't know, I just think we should

all be supporting each other. - I agree.

- I don't like that sh*t. - Yep.

- But--but you'll hear it if you don't

send an invite, though. - Oh, yeah.

- But he gave you guys an invitation.

And you still didn't come.

- Yeah, but they know why we didn't come.

- Wait. - We have kids.

- Angelina knew on the way to AC

I wasn't going to the event.

- Are you going to Lauren's boutique thing?

- She sent me flowers. - Yeah, I can't, unfortunately.

- I don't know if I can either.

- But then, she's talking behind my back

and making-- trying to make me look bad

to people, and I don't like that.

- I thought it-- I thought it was a little odd

that some of you didn't show up.

But you guys-- - Oh, there it is!

- I did say that.

- You're messy.

- You are messy.

- Sam, am I messy?

Or am I just being real as f*ck?

Like, really, Sammi, out of all people?

What the f*ck is this?

- Why? Why? - Why?

- I didn't understand why nobody came.

- Like, why-- why is it your problem?

- Hold on. - No, I'm not.

- Wait. - It was just weird for me.

- Why do you have to start stuff?

- Well, why is-- - It's always an issue.

[laughs drily]

Like, it's just so annoying.

Like, today was supposed to be a fun girls' day,

charcuterie board, drinking.

- I would never go to an event and be like,

oh, Nicole, Deena, and Sam aren't here?

Oh, they must not be

true friends. - I didn't say--

- But of course, it has to turn to this sh*t.

- True friends. - Not being true friends.

I just didn't understand why nobody came.

- It's not something for you to understand.

It's for Lauren to understand.

[dramatic music]

I couldn't make it.

And I told Lauren.

So why are you saying it's weird

when it's none of your business?

I had that conversation with Lauren.

- If we can't make it, why do you have to talk sh*t?

- How am I talking sh*t? I'm just speaking the facts.

- What facts? - What's the facts?

That I couldn't make it? - That you guys weren't there.

- Well, why do you have to say that?

Like, as girlfriends-- - He was saying it himself!

He was saying-- - OK, so then,

as a girlfriend, you just stay,

oh, I guess they're busy.

- What the f*ck is going on?

I was just saying what I saw.

And all the other girls, they were all coming at me.

It's like a f*cking attack fest.

He plays this, like, f*cking game.

And then, like, he-- - I get that.

- He doesn't say the same thing to me.

And he was very upset that nobody was there except for--

well, he was very happy that I was there.

- So why didn't you text us and be like,

hey, guys, why aren't you coming?

You asked me if I was going. - I did ask you

if you were coming. - And I said, I can't make it.

I have my business to run,

which you wouldn't know anything about.

So don't talk about me.

- But why are you--why-- first of all--

- No, first of all... - Chill out.

- One thing, Ange, is I don't like people talking

about my character behind my back.

- No one's talking about your character.

- I'm years old. - No one's saying anything.

- So I'm gonna tell you how it is to your face.

- See, what did Mike tell you guys?

See, now you guys are coming at me--

- No one's coming at you, Ange. - Oh, don't flip it.

Don't flip it. Don't flip it.

- I'm not flipping it. What did he say?

- Mike pulled me aside yesterday and said,

Angelina's deliberately... - Just be a girlfriend.

- Making you look bad... - What?

- And she is not your friend. - Wow.

- I'm gonna read his f*cking text right now.

- Call him. - "I do appreciate

"Angelina coming to the opening,

"but she took that opportunity to say,

"'Where are your friends?' and she went in.

She made it a thing."

- I can't f*cking believe he texted that to you

when he's sitting there saying something else to me.

I'm gonna call him right now.

He's not gonna throw me the f*ck under the bus

like he wasn't saying sh*t. Give me a break.

No one else showed up for that.

And I got thrown under the bus?

Oh, no. Oh, no.

[hip-hop music]

- I'm gonna call him right now.

He's not gonna throw me the f*ck under the bus

like he wasn't saying sh*t. Give me a break.

- Yeah? - Yeah, you really

you really f*cking threw me under the bus, Mike,

and said that I was sitting there

talking hella sh*t about them?

Now you just created, like, some issues for me.

- Oh, my God. Like, this party is sh*t.

We have yummy, gorgeous charcuterie boards.

Like, it smells good. It looks so nice.

And of course, this sh*t happens.

I just want to eat my fricking food.

- Ange, Ange, Ange. - Now they're all coming at me

like I f*cking-- - Let him speak.

Let him speak. - OK, go, go, go.

Go. - Calm down.

- Let Mike speak. - Oh, my God.

- I didn't say it like that, Mike.

I said, well, where are they? It's--it's like--

- OK. You and Lauren knew

that, like, it was weird that they didn't show up.

- That's not the way you gave it to us.

- Mike, you didn't say it like that, Mike. Come on.

- I agree. - I see sh*t going on.

And I'm like-- - I agree.

- Yep. - But you'll hear it

if you don't send an invite, though.

- Oh, yeah.

- Tell the truth, that you were f*cking upset.

- Not really. I was trying to defend it

the most of the time because I'm super positive.

- Wow, Mike.

sh*t f*cking stirrer that he is,

like, Mr. Positivity-- like, f*ck that.

He said sh*t too.

And he didn't want to admit it.

I wanted to support you and your wife.

And they f*cking-- - You did.

Again, thank you for supporting me.

- Yeah, well, I should have never came

because now I feel like me coming--

- You should have went.

- Oh, my God. - And you should have just

enjoyed your time there instead of talking about us.

- But I did enjoy my time there.

- Did she make it a thing, Mike?

- Did it come off malicious? - Yeah.

- I don't know if the word is malicious.

But, like, where's Jenni? Where's Snooki?

Where's Deena? I thought they were your friends.

- [gasps] - And I was like--

- I didn't say-- I didn't say it like that.

- It was pretty much like that.

Again-- - I said that?

- I definitely stand by you.

- Come on, man.

You made it like I was being f*cking malicious, Mike.

- The word "malicious" never came out of my mouth.

- But they think I said all this sh*t.

- I don't think that you were being malicious.

I think that you were being who you are.

And I know who you are now.

And I don't want that in my life.

- I am so caught off guard.

I feel attacked.

And I cannot believe Mike is doing this to me

when I was the only one to support his wife.

Why'd you throw me under the bus like that, as*h*le?

- Just be real. - I'm being f*cking real.

- All right, that's it. I--that's it.

- [scoffs] - I gotta go. I gotta go.

- Ange, I can't do this anymore.

- He ignited the f*cking feud.

And he left me for dead.

- I have tried over and over again to be your friend, Ange.

And I wind up in this seat every time, fighting with you.

- I've never had a girlfriend like this.

- I don't trust you.

- Thanks, Mike.

You're a f*cking joke.

I hope you're happy now.

- ♪ Turn me up, turn me up ♪

♪ Whoop, whoop ♪

♪ Turn me up, turn me up ♪

- Oh, God, honey.

We got a little bit of a situation.

- What happened? - It seems that the girls

are having World w*r III right now.

- What? - Ange just called me up.

They were screaming at each other on the phone.

- Over what? - Um, at the store opening,

there was some sh*t talk, pretty much.

That's really how it went down.

- So wait, what's the w*r about?

- I guess the girls were upset that Angelina was sort of,

like, rubbing it in that she showed up

and the other girls didn't.

- How is this a big thing?

They had things going on. Like, that's life.

At the same time, she pointed out just the obvious fact,

none of them came. - Mm-hmm.

- And she didn't just, like, show face.

Like, she bought a lot of stuff.

She didn't have to buy anything.

- Honey, I agree with that support.

But the truth is, while she was there,

she was stirring the pot.

- But then, did you tell them that?

How did they find out about it?

- Um, Jenni was here the other day.

- Oh, yes. - And I told her, I'm like,

yeah, Ange was talking a little bit of sh*t.

- Oh, she asked how the store was, yeah.

Not surprised. My husband's first instinct

is like, I gotta tell Jenni.

- Ange now is a little pissed because she's like,

hey, I did talk a little sh*t, I did.

But, you know, maybe you shouldn't have said anything.

It's like, yo, it's not like no one is gonna see this,

right? You know what I'm saying?

Like, you're gonna eventually see this.

I'd rather be upfront.

I'd rather be full disclosures and let you know,

like, all right, hey, she was doing a little bit

of sh*t talking, a little bit of pot stirring.

And there's always a ton of history

that has a little bit to do with it as well.

- A little bit? - A lot.

- I don't know why Mike does this every time.

[laughs]

Ange might have just been a little bitter because--

- They've been beefing for, like, years.

- It is what it is. - Yeah.

- I'm telling you, they were upset that nobody showed up.

[overlapping chatter]

- I think it's so shitty because I have kids.

- They should have come.

But instead, the girls had all of these excuses.

- It's a Thursday at :. It's very hard for us moms.

- I need to find employees.

My store is opening this weekend.

- I couldn't get my kids into a dentist appointment

for almost another year.

- I'm just like...

- I personally have a mother in a nursing home

that broke her glasses and needed to go to an eye doctor.

- All right, so I don't have kids.

But even if I did, I know for a fact,

I would still show up.

- So I didn't have sitters.

And me bringing a four-year-old and an almost two-year-old

to an event like that would have been

f*cking mayhem for me. - Yeah.

- I mean, they had their kids there,

but I get it. - But it's different.

They had their parents there! - That's their event!

- It's not my event! - I just thought it was weird--

listen, I felt like some people

could have changed their sh*t around.

Honestly, that's a f*cking fact.

- It's so aggravating to hear Angelina telling us

we should have moved our plans

and you should have been there.

It's not that easy.

- You don't have kids. You can't tell me

how I can live my life. - OK.

- And we have a busy schedule.

Like, I can't even get my nails done, Angelina.

I have no time to myself. - I don't know about--

- No, because it's frustrating. Like, you don't know.

So I'm sorry I couldn't make

a : p.m. thing. - That's where it should end.

There should be no "but." - Would I have loved

to be there? Of course.

- There should be no "but."

- Of course, I would love to be there.

You don't think I would love to go to a store opening

and go shopping?

- OK. - Don't cry over this sh*t.

- No, 'cause it's f*cking frustrating.

- I know. - OK. All right.

- Like, how many times do we have to do this?

I'm done. I'm leaving.

I'm not doing this with you anymore, Angelina.

- Are you kidding me? - I'm done.

f*cking dealing with this girl anymore.

[dramatic music]

I don't know where to go from here with her.

f*cking done with her.

♪ ♪

- Sick charcuterie party.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Hop up out the Chevy, you can tell I'm a rider ♪

♪ Watching for the slimes, Jack boys in the slider ♪

- Listen, the girls were heated.

- She was, like, kind of stirring the pot,

but she also kind of was stating like,

they're just not here.

- Can we just smooth it over, keep it moving?

[doorbell rings] Somebody's here, honey.

- Yo. - Yo, what up?

- What's good, BDS? - What up, fam?

- You know, just came over

to do your little investigation thing.

- We're finding Angelina's father.

- Yeah. - Father.

- But before the investigation happens,

we have a little bit of a situation.

- No. What happened?

- JWOWW came over to see the babies yesterday.

And she's like, how was the store opening?

So I'm like, well, Ange showed up, she supported.

But also, while she was there, she was stirring the pot

and talking a little bit of sh*t.

- Oh, sh*t. Here we are.

This is kind of on brand.

Like, I wanted to help Angelina.

But it sounds like Mike is still playing both sides.

This is classic Mike right here.

You know, you telling them that is causing sh*t.

[chuckles] - I really didn't get

the full download yet.

I just heard that it was World w*r III.

- ♪ Everybody be waiting, watching, hoping ♪

♪ Praying that I'ma fall ♪

♪ Everybody be hating, staring, laughing ♪

♪ Trying to make you small ♪

♪ Even if I'm nervous, I'ma get it ♪

- I can't change things around!

I'm a mom! I'm not an aunt.

- Why do you have to talk sh*t about us not being there?

- How am I talking sh*t? I'm just speaking the facts.

Like, where are you guys? Like, what happened?

- Ange, honestly,

I don't want this to look like we're attacking you, but--

- But this is, like, kind of, crazy.

- Listen, I'm new here-- - She always thinks

we're attacking her when we stick up for ourselves.

- You gotta understand something else--

- Can you let me f*cking talk, Angelina?

- All right. - Let me f*cking talk.

No, you talk so much. - Sam.

- Oh, my God. Like, why is this happening?

We're all fighting. It's not fun.

- Like, just shut up. - No, go--

don't tell me to shut up. - Just shut up.

- Everyone's trying to k*ll each other.

- You just don't shut up. - Don't tell me to shut up.

Don't tell me to shut up, Sam. - It's nonstop talk.

- Really, like, you just got here.

Like, give me a break.

- It's just too much.

- The f*ck are we doing?

This ain't no therapy session.

This is a charcuterie f*cking party.

- Yeah, sick charcuterie party.

- This whole situation, this whole miscommunication

or this beef, I--I don't know where we go from here.

I never shy away from drama.

[chuckles]

But--

that was such an evil laugh, oh, God.

To be honest, I don't really even think it's a big deal.

- [laughs]

- I feel I talk to you about it.

Like, why are you coming at me?

Who the f*ck are you to come at me?

- Because you just spoke bad about me included in that.

- OK, you couldn't switch your sh*t around?

- I have a business!

Do you know what it's like to run a business?

You wouldn't because you don't have one.

[dramatic musical sting]

- This definitely reminds me of old Sam.

Not gonna lie. And I f*cking love it.

- We have lives. They have kids.

I have a business to run.

Lauren understands.

We will be at her boutique supporting it

another day. She knows that.

- Sam, you've been back for one week.

Hell to the f*cking no.

You're not gonna talk to me like that.

This is ridiculous.

- The one thing that irks me is if you're going to an event,

and we're not there, and you're speaking bad on,

like, the girls, it doesn't look good

because we--we just made up.

It comes off like you're being a--

it comes off-- - Instigator.

You should have stuck up for us.

You threw us under the bus. - First of all--

- You made it shady. - First of all--

- We're over it.

We're just done. - We're over it.

So it's all my fault again that I just--

- You could have stuck up for us!

I'm so sick of the drama.

I've tried to be Angelina's friend for years.

I really thought I went above and beyond

to help her with her acne, her divorce.

And yet, she still talks sh*t about me.

The best way to define...

- What? - A friendship in my eyes

is not how many events you show up to,

but how you speak about someone when they're not in the room.

You put that person on a pedestal when you're not there.

That's a true friendship.

You don't drag them through the mud...

- You say, I understand. - And run them over with a bus.

- You just dragged me through the mud two seconds ago.

- We're not friends.

♪ ♪

Because what you do is so dirty

to the girls at this table.

Nobody wants you here.

- This day is ruined.

It's just done. The day is f*cked.

So everyone, just leave. I'm gonna drink by myself

and enjoy all the charcuterie boards.

♪ ♪

- You know how Sitch is.

- I definitely think Mike's an instigator.

He always is. - He's riled all you guys up.

- What's it gonna be like in Orlando now?

Because you're gonna have to deal

with the repercussions of that. - Yeah, I know.

- We're here, guys!

Cheers to a drama-free-- hopefully--

Family Fun Trip.

- I'm predicting now, Angelina's gonna fight

with Mike about this. - Oh, man.