Fake$ (2025)

[bunniefuu]

(light rock music)

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la

Ooooh, ooooh

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

No, it's the best movie

theater in the country. Easy.

There's never been anything like it.

Aren't there like 30 other

theaters called the Strand?

I guess, but none of them

play '90s movies all the time.

You give way too much credit to the '90s.

Yeah, because the '90s were awesome.

Okay, there was like a new Jim Carrey movie

like every other month.

You come to this theater every day,

you see every stupid movie.

What are you gonna do if

we close down someday?

No, no, I'm, I'm never

gonna let this place go.

You should have seen

the drive-in on Route 9.

That was a theater.

I could seriously see myself

owning a theater like this when I'm older.

It'd be way too much work.

Plus all the kids that work here suck a*s.

Well, present company excluded.

I'll find non-a*s-suckers.

And I'll put in a section for DVD rentals.

It's so old-fashioned.

Well, I'm a big believer

in the power of nostalgia.

You're delusional.

And the Strand is just a movie theater.

It's not just a movie theater, okay?

It's, it's, it's a church,

a temple, a palace to the greatness

of Quentin Tarantino and Amy Heckerling.

I thought it'd be harder

for you to come here

since your dad passed away.

No, no. Not at all, actually.

In fact, I'm keeping his crusade alive.

Right.

Look, the Strand gives out floss.

No other theater gives out floss.

I'd stay here forever

and I'd have zero regrets.

You know what I'd actually do?

I would, I would turn

the concessions into a loft

and then make a neck

pillow of melted milk duds.

You could be my butler.

As flattering as that sounds,

I think you should probably go.

Okay, how about

butler/executive assistant?

Oh my God, no.

With, with benefits. Not the sexual kind.

I mean, like, like dental.

Isn't that the officer that's

been chasing you around?

(exciting music)

sh*t.

(exciting music continues)

(exciting music continues)

Shannon!

(door closes)

Shannon, this is perfect.

I never see you in the middle of the day.

I'm not an Uber, Newton.

And I'm not a paying customer.

I just need to ride to school.

Shouldn't you be at school already?

Yeah, and mom's gonna k*ll me

if she finds out I played hooky again.

That really sounds like a you problem.

I can do your homework for a week.

I'm in college.

You're not even good at 9th grade homework.

I can clean your room for a month.

I don't want you in my room.

Okay. How about this?

There's a truant officer chasing me down,

and since you already let me in the car,

you're an accomplice.

Cops? Are you kidding me?

You can't get another strike, right?

No Lowell with the sexy gentleman in Pike.

You know I don't date

guys in Pike anymore.

- Let's go.

- Uhn-mm.

Drive.

Newton!

Shannon, please, just drive!

(exciting music fades)

What's with all this junk?

That was a birthday present from Dad.

It's pretty badass.

It's a kid's toy.

Unicorns can be badass.

You pretend that everything

dad did was so awesome.

In dad's defense,

he was at the Strand

opening day in the '90s.

That, that's respect for eternity.

You know, you need room in your brain

for things besides movies,

like fashion or parties

or Greek life or girls.

I think my brain is like 90% movies,

5% (indistinct) and 5% pandas.

Pandas?

Our furry black and

white brothers and sisters.

All I'm saying is you

put too much faith in dad

and movies and pandas.

But, but the thing is movies are awesome.

Movies are why you're

on the run from the cops

at 2:00 PM on a Tuesday.

(siren wails)

Are you kidding me?

(Newton gulps)

Oh, hi, officer.

License and registration, please.

Shannon.

Oh my God, it has been a while, huh?

Yeah, of course.

Way too long.

You remember me?

Of course, yeah, from that time.

Pete Barrett, we went

to high school together.

Of course.

I was a senior when you were a freshman.

Oh, are, are you the one

who tried to ask me to prom?

Yeah, I was in the Glee Club.

The Gleeks in the Sheets.

School allowed that name?

Look, Officer, I am so, so sorry

if I was going a few

miles over the speed limit.

Oh no, Shannon, do not worry.

I'm actually here for this young man.

Principal Isaacs called.

Said you were absent again, hmm?

No call from mom or dad?

Look, Officer, I was

actually bringing Newton

right back to school.

He had a doctor's appointment

and, you know, our mom,

she's just so busy working at the hospital.

Is that so?

Yeah, I, I mean,

Newton would never do anything stupid

like cut class to go to the movies.

Absolutely not.

He has a medical condition.

Right.

But now that the doctors

have removed his head from his a*s,

I don't think he'll be

missing any more school.

Definitely not.

Wait, what?

I'm sorry.

I didn't realize, Newton,

that you suffered from psychoglutiosis.

That's, that's a serious condition.

Anyway, I was just bringing him back,

and I'm sure he's not

gonna miss any more school.

Well, then let's get

you two on your way, huh?

Hang on.

Um, actually, Shannon,

I think I'm gonna need

you to step out of the car.

What?

Or should I say Penelope?

Look, we'll be a lot more forgiving

if you just tell us where you got it.

It was just some random guy in town.

I never met him in person, I promise.

Of course not.

Look, you can't hold us here.

Having a fake ID isn't like a felony.

Actually, yeah, it is.

Seriously?

Wait, that means she can't

vote or go to NBA games?

Hey, no more sass out of you, Bucko.

All right?

Now I don't know what they're teaching you.

Those good for nothings

on the Disney Channel,

but newsflash, cutting class is not hip.

Okay, you're not even a real cop.

I am so a real cop.

I mean, in the 4th grade

when we would play cops and robbers,

I was a cop at least 85% of the time.

That doesn't qualify you to be a cop.

I watch "Die Hard" every

Christmas with my mother

who I should say hates workplace violence.

You're so not a cop.

I eat donuts constantly.

The "Law and Order" theme is my ringtone.

And it's ridiculous that

I even have to say this,

but I even have a badge.

(hand patting)

Okay, well, it's, I don't

have it on me at the moment,

but I do have one.

Is this it?

Okay, you just gimme.

Try not to delinquentify the area.

I'll be right back.

Who's that?

Cornelius Isaacs,

new principal at the high school.

He's even scarier

than Darth Vader, Biff Tannen,

Regina George combined.

Well after that, a chase ensued.

A chase? He's a child.

Everyone talks trash

about him at the school.

I won't say what they call him,

but it rhymes with smooshbag.

It's a, it is a fast scooter

and he knows the streets very well.

Gross.

Trio of evil alert.

I repeat, trio of evil alert.

- Yeah, I know.

- Right over there.

God, I hate your son.

(Barrett clears throat)

All right, you two are free to go.

But, Shannon, you have to come back

and pay a fine by the end of the month.

So I will be here for that.

Newton, no more getting into trouble.

Otherwise, Officer Barrett

can arrange a summer in juvie.

(slow gentle music)

(Shannon speaks indistinctly)

Maybe if you were really shamed...

Okay, well, it's not my problem.

Do you think I need this sh*t?

Okay, well... Hey, get back here.

I'm not done with you.

I didn't raise you for this kind of

[Shannon] You didn't raise me!

[Cindy] Oh. Oh, nice.

Um, Mom and Shannon are arguing again,

so you shouldn't go down there.

(gentle music continues)

(door closes)

(gentle music continues)

(gentle music continues)

(phone buzzing)

(slow uplifting music)

(slow uplifting music continues)

(suspenseful music)

Ah, don't! Stop, stop please!

I surrender. I surrender, please.

Not cool, man.

Don't worry, it's all stale anyways.

Oh, that makes it so much more worse.

Wait, no, no, no, no, no.

(movie playing)

(slow uplifting music)

(slow uplifting music fades)

(dramatic music)

Mr. Conrad!

Are you insane, Mr. Conrad?

Everyone loves this place.

You can't just close it down.

Newton, you're fighting

the good fight and I love that.

I wish I did more of

it when I was your age,

but this is a done deal.

Three more weeks then

the theater's for sale.

Well, why not give

it another year or four,

you know, just till I leave for college

or become really rich and buy you out.

To be frank, the only reason

we stayed open this long is

because of a good

investment I made a while back.

I should have retired years ago.

Okay, well, why can't

you sell your jet ski?

Too much sentimental value.

We could sell our

organs on the black market.

That doesn't sound like a good idea.

We could prost*tute ourselves.

No.

Mr. Conrad, listen,

you play "The Sandlot"

every Memorial Day weekend,

and it was the first

movie my dad took me to

when I was six years old,

and we came every single year.

But this year he was too sick to go.

So he made me promise

that I'd see it next year at the Strand.

Can't you just stay open till May?

I can talk to the next owner,

see if he'll play "The Sandlot."

No, no, see, that's just

not gonna happen, okay?

No one cares about classic

movies besides you and me.

By next Memorial Day,

the Strand's gonna be a yoga

studio or, or a wh*re house.

It's simple dollars and cents.

We just don't have the

money to stay operational.

Well, how much money do you need?

Pardon?

How much money to keep the Strand open

until Memorial Day next year?

There's overhead, utilities,

rental costs for film prints,

insurance, both property and equipment,

and we have a full staff to pay.

How about you just tell me a number?

It'd be about $8,100,

and that's just for until

the end of next May.

$8,100?

Plus, ticket and concession

sales would have to be steady.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, yeah.

The past isn't dead, Mr. Conrad,

and neither is the Strand.

Wait, what?

I'm gonna get this place

the eight grand it needs.

You watch, Mr. Conrad!

Or you could just play a sport!

(exciting music)

Yeah Yeah

Whoa

My life is an uphill battle

battle keeping me on my toes

It's delicate and fragile

When it stops, nobody knows

It takes time to get it right

Practice days and practice nights

It takes time to get it right

And oh, oh, oh

I kept my head straight

Through the ups and

downs and the constant lying

I'm calling checkmate

You made your move

and I know you're trying

It's all a game

But I know for sure I'll play it safe

I'm calling checkmate

How could this not have worked?

It's already raining outside.

They're not gonna spend

money on a car wash.

Whatever.

I just dunno what to do now.

What about a lemonade

stand or a bake bake?

But I can't keep it away

It takes time to get it right

Practice days and practice nights

It takes time to get it right

But y'all don't say that

I've got my head straight

Through the ups and

downs and the constant lying

I'm calling checkmate

You make made your move

and I know you're trying

It's all a game

But you know for sure I'll play it safe

Oh, oh, oh

You thought you knew me

But I guess you didn't, so

Oh, oh, oh

You thought you knew me

That's it But I guess you didn't, so

I kept my head straight

Through the ups and

downs and the constant lying

I'm calling checkmate

Let's go. Abigail's circling the block.

I have a few extra cookies

left if you're interested.

I have a fine to payoff

and I'm out $100 for my fake,

so no, I'm not interested

in $6 for a plate of cookies.

It's actually $6 per cookie.

What?

Oh, it's actually $6 per cookie.

Jesus, Newton, no

wonder no one's buying them.

I can offer you 50% off.

That's the family discount.

You know, 100% off

sounds a little better to me.

(soft sincere music)

I do like love the effort though.

You know, we do fundraisers

in Kappa all the time.

Really?

Yeah, we only make

like five grand per event.

Holy sh*t. Seriously?

Yeah, people like hot sorority girls

more than nerdy losers.

It'd be different if I

could sell my sexuality.

Hey, I'm sorry for blaming

the fake thing on you.

Thanks.

If I have any money left

after saving the Strand,

I will reimburse you for your failure.

Oh, let me say goodbye to

Mr. Conrad before we leave.

Yeah.

Business booming tonight?

I only made 14 bucks,

and this cash box alone was 20.

Stupid cash box.

I told everyone who bought a ticket

they ought to come and see you.

I'm gonna make that

eight grand for you somehow.

I just need more time.

Is this new?

Just the last ditch effort

to make the Christian

parents in town a little happier.

It says I can't see R-rated movies.

That's right.

So kids my age can't see.

"American Pie" or "Scream" or even "T2"?

I must have turned away

40, maybe 509th graders this month.

What? 50?

So to get into an R-rated movie,

you're supposed to show...

A driver's license.

(inspirational music)

What about something that

looks like a driver's license?

I don't know what that

means, but I guess sure.

Shannon!

I'm sorry. You're telling

me you want to sell fake IDs?

I don't wanna sell them.

I wanna manufacture,

process, and distribute them.

Basically make a "Scarface"

esque empire, empire, empire.

We just got busted

by Officer Wets the Bed.

Remember that?

But it's the perfect setup.

That is what every idiot kid says

right before he goes to juvie.

Seriously, I know the

kids, you know the business.

I need the money.

I need the money too.

I have a fine to pay off, remember?

Yes, exactly.

And we'll sell enough

IDs to pay off your fine

and save the Strand.

And I'm on two strikes already.

Something like this could

mean that my life is over.

I could end up working at

Burger King or something.

Yeah, that would suck.

You know I prefer Wendy's.

Look, Shannon, this is your chance

to be brave and entrepreneurial.

Make something of yourself.

Don't you wanna prove to the doubters

that you're meant for greatness?

You know, for a 15-year-old boy,

you really do talk like

a motivational speaker.

Good. That means my magic is working.

Okay, but the guy I bought my ID from,

he supplies this whole town.

So I don't think we'll

be able to cut him off.

That's the best part.

What? We put money into these IDs,

and then we don't sell any?

No, no, no, the market strategy.

Do you know why they always open

a Disney movie the same weekend

as some super intense adult drama?

I'm feeling you're about to tell me why.

It's because there's no

crossover in demographic.

If we only sell to kids at my high school

Who think you're a loser.

Okay, that aside, none

of them know your guy.

He only sells to college kids.

I don't know.

You know what the Strand means to me

and what it meant to Dad.

Look, I promised him I'd be there next May.

(soft upbeat music)

(Shannon sighs)

Eight grand?

In three weeks.

And after those three

weeks are up, we're done, right?

Yes, absolutely.

So what's it gonna be?

Fine. Let's do it.

Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Don't tell anyone, okay?

Okay, I got it.

I tell no one.

I need to tell you something.

He shouldn't be staying

out on a school night.

Yeah, because staying in and reading

clearly did you so much good.

It got me a full tuition scholarship

and a reference letter from a judge.

And a stick up your a*s.

That stick is made of morality.

Okay, if you're so moral,

how about you defend me

next time I get in trouble?

I didn't commit myself to the law

to help reckless sorority

girls who drink their lives away.

I didn't make tequila so delicious.

Maybe if it tasted like burnt plastic,

I'd never get in trouble.

Tequila does taste

like burn plastic, Shannon.

Whatever.

Look, if you defended me,

there'd still be lots of

creative problem solving.

Hmm, pass.

Not like you anything better going on.

What?

You're 23 with no boyfriend, no BFFs,

and no interest in Jell-O shot Sundays.

And I'm better off.

I don't need gelatinous

alcohol to enjoy myself.

Ugh, you sound like this a thesaurus.

Thank you.

Look, all I'm saying is

it literally wouldn't k*ll you

if he just loosened up every now and again.

And it wouldn't k*ll you

to stop getting arrested.

Fine, you wouldn't defend me,

but, you know, I bet you'd defend Newton

if he got in trouble.

Newton isn't a troublemaker.

Yeah, but like hypothetically,

if he started some ill*gal crime ring,

would you defend us? (Clears throat) Him?

No, I wouldn't because

there is never an excuse

for immoral, unethical behavior.

Just stop screwing around.

Mom doesn't have the bandwidth for it,

and I'm never gonna be

the one to bail you out.

(crickets chirping)

[Krista] So why can't you

operate out of the Strand,

or even your house?

Well, Shannon and I need a place

where Abigail won't catch on.

Here's the key.

- A key?

- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

It's perfect.

I don't know.

I mean, this just doesn't feel right.

Have I ever led you astray?

Am I ever wrong?

- No.

- No, I'm not.

So it's gonna be great.

Okay, all right.

[Shannon] So this is it?

Well, it's not operational

yet, but yeah, this is it.

I thought all we needed was

like Photoshop or something.

No. No, Photoshop.

Okay, we're gonna do

this the old-fashioned way.

So the hard way.

I prefer to think of it as the fun way.

Have you even seen a fake ID before?

Have you ever seen a good fake ID before?

Look, all we need is some supplies.

First item on the checklist,

Abigail's old trifold.

[Shannon] She's not gonna

let us borrow any of her stuff.

[Newton] Yeah, that's

why we're not gonna ask.

You like sneaking around, right?

[Shannon] I guess.

[Newton] Once you get

the trifold back to the drive-in,

we commence part two.

[Shannon] Okay. What's part two?

[Newton] I print some stuff.

[Shannon] That seems way less risky

than stealing from Abigail.

[Newton] Mine will be risky too.

We tear off Abigail's sciency stuff,

then paste on my pages.

[Shannon] We're creating a giant license?

[Newton] It's gonna look

way better than you think.

[Shannon] Hmm, yeah. Not bad.

[Newton] Remember,

we're not going for great.

We're going for good enough.

Look, most of the 9th graders

probably won't even use them to drink.

(caper music)

It's the most perfect

thing I've ever seen in my life.

[Newton] After that, we

just need to print and paste.

[Shannon] Paste onto what?

[Newton] Well, uh, remember how you said

you like sneaking around?

[Shannon] Are you serious?

[Newton] A bunch of

those scam credit cards

have been coming in the mail lately.

[Shannon] So you want me to steal them

from our neighbor's mailboxes?

[Newton] No. I want

you to save our neighbors

from the evil scourge

of unwanted junk mail.

[Shannon] You don't need

to make it sound all heroic.

[Newton] Then we finish it

up with a little help from Dad.

[Shannon] Great. I'll

get the unicorn float.

[Newton] No, what?

I meant his old laminator.

We laminate the printed picture

onto a credit card and voila.

It actually turned out

better than I thought I would.

I did end up using Photoshop.

Somebody told of endless love

Ugh! Being grounded

means not playing music louder

than a cement mixer.

Bedroom eyes and pray

that we cannot see through

(rock music stops)

(intriguing music)

[Shannon] We just need to make sure

we sell enough IDs in time.

[Newton] We totally will.

[Shannon] What if we get caught?

Don't worry, this is foolproof.

Hey, idiots! What is all this stuff?

Ah, what stuff?

This stuff.

This stuff on the table.

I found it all in Shannon's room.

Oh, right.

Have you been tampering

with our neighbor's mail?

You know that's a federal offense.

And my trifold mysteriously went missing.

Abigail, there is a

super easy explanation

for all of this.

Yeah? Try me.

Well, um...

Um, it's a pyramid scheme.

We were selling credit cards to people

and coloring on them first.

What?

What he was trying to say is

that this is us showing

these scam artists of the world who's boss.

You know, we're taking

these cheapo credit cards,

and we're shredding them

and then printing IOU vouchers.

What the hell are you talking about?

Fine, it's a fake ID business.

Did you seriously give us away that easy?

You weren't doing anything.

- Coloring on them?

- Are you kidding, Shan?

Her whole deal is pre-law.

- What does that even mean?

I had it totally covered

with the pyramid scheme.

[Shannon] I was just out there by myself.

You wouldn't say anything.

Wait, Abby, what are you doing?

I'm calling the cops.

- No, no.

- No, no.

Please, please, please, please,

can we make something work?

You already broke the law.

I don't wanna go to juvie.

I don't wanna go to adult juvie.

Shut up, it's ringing.

We'll cut you in 10%.

- What?

- What?

10%.

You barely have time for a job,

and you don't have enough

money to afford dinner.

10% means you stay quiet.

You could be making money

without even doing anything.

You know, you could be like

the Kris Jenner of East Pine Mass.

(phone beeps)

Do we have a deal?

If you two caught by anyone

else, you're on your own.

That's not a no.

And if it's not a no, it's a yes!

[Abigail] Just let me know

when you start making money

and don't get caught.

(school bell ringing) (people chattering)

(locker closes)

You're Claire, right?

Yeah.

I saw you at the Strand the other day.

Of course we won't get caught.

It's not even that expensive.

(whistle whoops)xd

I wanted to talk to you

about your part-time job.

Oh, I don't do the whole

pretend to have sex with

people for money thing anymore.

Right, I was kind of talking about

how you take the SAT for your friends.

I'm not taking any new

clients for that either.

I bet I know how you do it.

(intriguing music)

It's a calculated mix of

cleverness and cautiousness.

Right, but beyond that,

I'm guessing the friends you took it for

all looked vaguely similar to you,

enough to confuse the

old guy proctoring the exam.

That isn't not accurate.

They gave you their IDs,

and the proctor thought you were them.

I'm still clever and cautious.

Of course you are.

But eventually

you'll run out of dumb

Asian girls to impersonate.

How would you like to a dumb white girl,

or a dumb Indian girl,

or even a dude with a gender ambiguous name

like Devin or Riley or Mackenzie?

There's no guy's named Mackenzie.

Look, I've got a new

business venture of my own.

(intriguing music continues)

I know for a fact that you

need to expand your business

in order to pay for band camp this summer.

And I need to expand my

business to save the Strand.

See, this is what we call

a symbiotic relationship.

We both benefit.

I know what a symbiotic

relationship is, Newton.

You skipped a grade, right?

I bet people already doubt

that you should be taking the SAT.

You know, it, it would be really nice

to make a crap ton of money

and have an ID that validates

how smart you are for your age.

What are we looking at money-wise?

All I need is 80 bucks and

a 15-minute photo sh**t.

Not like that.

I just heard how that sounded.

I don't know.

Couldn't I just Photoshop

a bunch of IDs myself?

You could,

or you could stick to being

the SAT expert and trust me,

the fake ID expert.

You're the fake ID expert?

I've had zero complaints so far.

Are you gonna be weird and breathy

and stalk me until I say yes?

Yeah, pretty much.

(chill music)

Hey!

It's normal to act out, even misbehave,

but multiple counts of t*rd,

two absences in the first month of school,

and Mrs. Mathern tells me

you don't participate at all in algebra.

Mrs. Mathern is just a

grouchy old swamp wench

that gets off by making kids miserable.

She's my wife.

And what I meant by

swamp wench was smart wench.

Theft is unacceptable, Newton.

I didn't steal that money.

This is my cash box.

Newton, I'm a trained marksman.

I can look down the scope of a r*fle

right through a man's

eyes and see into his soul,

so spare me the lies.

Okay, well you see, sir,

I'm trying to save the Strand, okay?

And it's closing in 12 days.

Claire was just helping

with the fundraiser.

Seriously.

Fine, take the cash box back.

But if I find out you are

lying, you are on probation.

Are we clear?

Crystal.

A mere second at the Strand

will feel like a cruise to St. Thomas.

Principal Isaacs, is it rude

to ask if you've ever smiled?

I was in a hunting accident

when I was 10 years old.

My father accidentally shot

me in the back of my head.

Oh my God.

I still graduated from

high school as valedictorian.

But the b*llet permanently and irreparably

damaged my ability to feel joy.

Do you want to talk about it some more?

Get the f*ck out of my office.

Right.

It won't happen again.

The fact that it happened once

is reason enough for concern.

You need to lose that cash box.

It's an advertisement for trouble.

But it has so much sentimental value now.

Get rid of it.

Or just like hide it, I don't know.

Fine.

We need to lock down that

money somewhere secure.

Okay, what do you, what do you suggest?

(Abigail scoffs)

What?

Nothing.

This is just typical.

You're coming to me

for ideas on something I want no part of.

Big sister Queen come to the rescue.

You want us to beg, Abigail?

Is that what you want?

You want us to go down

on our knees and say,

"Please, Queen Abigail, please help us.

You're our only hope."

Stop that voice.

You don't have to beg,

but showing some gratitude

would be nice every now and again.

Yeah, because you have

better things going on.

I could be reading a

fantasy novel at Panera Bread.

What?

I love their bread bowls.

I didn't think you loved anything.

Just say thank you.

[Both] Thank you, Abigail.

You're welcome.

Now here's what we're gonna do.

How much do you two

know about cryptocurrency?

My guidance counselor

has a lot of opinions on it.

It's been the butt of the joke

in the financial world the last few years

because no one using it knows how it works.

It's like they're all playing

darts with blindfolds on.

Then why would we use it?

Because I'm the only one not blindfolded.

That's c*ck.

If we put the money on Tor,

it's untraceable and we can diversify,

which means we can earn

interest on the money as it comes in

and we don't have to

sell as many IDs overall.

Assuming the market stays hot.

I'm really not following,

but it's not gonna backfire on us, right?

No one has access to the money

unless they have my computer,

which never leaves my person.

How do you know those

much about this stuff?

I don't know. "Bloomberg"?

I thought we were just getting started.

Where are you going?

I have a whole secret life

neither of you know about.

You want to talk about it?

Maybe if you wanna ask sometime.

Well now we got the money

taken care of, what's next?

We grow the business big and fast,

and hope we don't get busted.

(exciting music) (basketball dribbling)

Hey, my guy, how would you like

to be the coolest dude in 9th grade?

Cooler than the model UN team?

Way cooler.

That's impossible.

All you need to do is invest

in laminated, falsified credentials.

You'll be the coolest

nerd at the high school.

Even cooler than I am.

What do we need fake IDs for?

You could go see "Fast

Times at Ridgemont High."

I don't even know what that is.

"Fast Times"? It's a classic.

And it's actually playing

at the Strand this weekend.

Mr. Conrad lets kids into

R-rated movies all the time.

Not anymore.

My mom could just take us.

Oh, "Fast Times" is not the kind of movie

you want to bring your

Baptist mom to, Christian.

Why not?

Phoebe Cates.

I don't know who that is,

but she sounds sensational.

Oh, she is.

Do you want to miss the opportunity

to meet her on the big screen?

I don't think so.

You'd regret it forever if you couldn't get

the sun and moon tattoo with

your sister on your birthday.

I know.

Why are the rules about tattoos

so weird in Massachusetts?

I don't know.

But personally you could

pass for an 18-year-old. Easy.

I actually thought you

were a senior already.

So what's it gonna be?

Yes.

- Yes.

- Yes.

Yes.

(exciting music continues)

(iron hisses)

(exciting music continues)

(door opens)

Shannon!

(humdrum music)

You and me, huh, we keep

running into each other.

Yeah. What are you, like, stalking me?

No, no. (Clears throat)

No, that would be stupid.

But I do, you know, have some questions

that you could probably help me answer.

Okay. sh**t.

Actually it is probably better

if you come down to the

station with me for these.

Why?

Because they are about your involvement

in the fake ID business.

I found some pretty incriminating stuff

which you're probably gonna want to see.

(ominous music)

(door closes)

Mom, what are you doing home so early?

It's not that early.

I guess the night just got away from me.

Are you up to something?

No, definitely not. Just studying.

That's not true. I'm sorry.

I, I can't lie to you.

You don't deserve that.

I, I got a job,

an investment job with money and stuff.

Normal money.

Abby, that's great.

That's something you

don't need to hide from me.

Right.

Have I heard of the company before?

No, definitely not.

Just like the small local business.

Very under the radar, but totally legit.

I bet they're lucky to have you.

Sure.

(phone buzzing)

sh*t.

Business sure is booming, huh?

I wouldn't know, Officer.

I'm minding my own

business like a good girl.

You know this guy in the car.

You mean that gray smudge?

I think you know that smudge.

Small, weak. Needs cash fast.

Not ringing a bell.

Thinks he's real clever.

A crafty little jackrabbit.

You know, I think photo quality

that bad really doesn't prove anything.

Shannon, you don't have

to keep protecting him, okay?

You're not gonna go down because of him.

I won't?

Of course not.

I mean, he's the one selling the fake IDs.

You're just a customer.

Oh, that's the guy I bought my ID from.

That's Ideity.

Yeah, sorry, what did you

think I was talking about?

Nothing. What did you

think you were talking about?

Anyways...

(dramatic music)

(g*n firing)

(heart thumping)

I think you get the picture.

I swear I've never met that man.

He started by selling

false credentials to minors,

and now he's graduated to homicide.

What did the guy in the video do?

Apparently he was selling his own fakes

a couple towns over.

That's unsettling, for

more than one reason.

We haven't even found the kid yet.

Seriously?

Yeah, is that bad?

Yes, that's very bad.

Well, we don't think

that he's likely to come

after old customers,

so you should be fine.

But, you know, you

should probably still lie low.

I don't wanna lie low.

Shannon

I have been running from

the cops and from responsibility

and probably from trauma my entire life.

You know what? I wanna take

a stand against this as*h*le.

(divine music)

(clears throat) That's very brave of you

to have said, Shannon.

But it's

What if I run into Ideity

in a dark alley late at night?

You could call me.

What if I don't have cell

service and I don't wanna run?

What do I do?

I suppose you could

make a citizen's arrest.

What is that?

When you catch a person

and you know that they committed a crime,

you can ask them to stay

put until the police arrive.

That's perfect.

If I see Ideity, I'll

make a citizen's arrest.

Okay and if you see

that he has any weapons

I'll fight back.

You know, red really isn't my color.

Wow. It seems like the

fundraiser picked up fast.

I'm exactly 50% away to the empire.

All that's missing is an evil laugh.

You really don't need an evil laugh.

If I really wanna be a badass mob boss,

I need an evil laugh.

Okay, try it.

No, it's humiliating.

I'm here to workshop it with you.

Uhnt-uh, no.

Come on. Everyone is inside the theater.

Fine.

Wait a second.

What? No, no, you're not recording.

Go ahead.

Okay, okay, okay.

(maniacal laugh)

You sound like a sick tortoise.

That's what Shannon keeps telling me.

And why does your voice go higher?

It's supposed to go deeper.

I don't know.

I'm like halfway through puberty, I think.

Halfway, just like the empire.

The midpoint.

You know, if this was a movie,

something terribly wrong

would probably hopping right about now.

I think we're pretty good.

(phone buzzes)

One second.

Do you think Barrett's onto us?

I don't know.

But someone definitely is.

I saw a gray muscle car

skidding out of the drive-in

on my way to get Shannon.

Abigail, is the money?

The money's safe.

But look.

(ominous music)

We never should have been

so public about the operation.

I might as well have

thrown the IDs in a parade

and sing "Twist and Shout."

It was my fault from buying

from him in the first place.

As long as we stop now,

I think we should be safe.

But we're so close though.

We got a death threat, Newton.

I know, I know.

We listen to death threats.

Otherwise we die.

Yeah, I got that.

But isn't this like Rosa Parks?

She stood up for what she believed in.

No matter the consequences.

Continuing a third-rate fake ID business

is not the same thing as

standing up for racial inequality.

You know what I mean.

Come on. You guys love movies.

Documentaries.

Reality dating shows.

You're completely delusional.

I'm 15. Of course I'm delusional.

But I also know we can do it.

I'm with Newton.

What? We need like 30 more

IDs and then we'll be done.

Kappa just initiated his new pledges.

They're all gonna want fakes.

A wholesale.

That's perfect.

We just need to make 30

IDs by the end of the week,

then, then unload them

and and close up shop.

Ideity can have his town back

before we get m*rder*d or whatever.

Exactly.

But we can't do it

unless we do it together.

Uhnt-uh, you guys are on your own here.

Abigail, wait.

You can't turn your back on us now.

We've never turned our backs on you.

Remember last year

at Mom's birthday dinner

when you got food poisoning?

We didn't just leave you in the

Outback Steakhouse bathroom.

We got you some wet wipes, a

new dress, and some Imodium.

Remember?

Or how about when you

got stood up for prom,

and I made Newton sneak

in that douchebag's house

and leak all over his bed?

It was the most exhilarating pee

I've ever taken in my entire life.

We stick together through everything,

through the food poisoning,

and the bad prom dates,

and the death threats.

Especially the death threats.

(sighs) This is

incredibly ill-advised, but...

I guess you're right.

Family sticks together.

Did you just say I was right?

Don't make a big thing out of it.

She might as well call

you a genius next time.

(Shannon and Newton chuckle)

You two are unbearable.

Yeah, but you know

you can't live without us.

And this isn't just for you.

I'm only a few hundred dollars

away from reaching my own financial goals.

Student loans?

A new car?

Taylor Swift tickets for me and Mom.

You don't like Taylor Swift.

I love Taylor Swift.

You've literally like

never mentioned her once.

I usually don't feel worthy

enough to invoke her name.

30 IDs. 30 IDs is all we need.

We'll make them Saturday

while Mom's at work.

And I guess Abby already

has her soundtrack planned.

Let's just hope that whack job

doesn't figure out where we live.

Yeah, about that.

I think it's a little too late.

I've seen enough movies

know that the mystery bad guy

is probably someone we know.

(expectant music) (people chattering)

Sorry, sir, I'm on my way to class.

No trouble. Off you go.

Principal Isaacs, your hands got...

Is that red spray paint?

It's none of your business.

(feet stomping)

[Newton] We're about to

do something pretty stupid.

[Krista] Stupider than usual?

Maybe like 4.5% more stupid.

I need you to quantify that.

We're gonna break into

Principal Isaacs' office,

and prove he's Ideity.

You're kidding, right?

Trust me. I know it for a fact.

We just need to find some evidence.

And you're basing this on what?

A very, very strong hunch.

Based on everything you told me,

it sounds more likely

that the cop is Ideity.

The uniform is just a cover.

But Officer Barrett was

at the police station with Shannon

the same time Abigail saw

the car leaving the drive-in.

Maybe he has an accomplice.

"Scream" taught us

there's always two K*llers.

You need to stop basing

every one of your arguments on "Scream."

So, a little high school trespass?

I don't know.

It kind of feels like you not wanting

to face the reality that

the Strand is closing.

If, and I say that with

a big, big uppercase I,

you know, uppercase F,

if the Strand closes, what happens to us?

What do you mean?

Well, we only ever hang

out when you're at the Strand

and I'm at the Strand.

We can hang at other

places besides the Strand.

It doesn't feel that way.

Look at me.

There will be plenty of cool places

for people to see movies,

and there'll be plenty of cool places

for you and I to get into trouble,

even if the Strand closes.

Promise?

I'd swear on my "Scream"

steel book if I had it with me.

Okay, well if we could really

get into trouble anywhere,

could one of those places

be Principal Isaacs' office?

You had to ruin the moment

by asking me to commit a crime?

(intriguing music)

(door handle rattles)

[Newton] I, I think we need a key.

We literally just have to open it.

See, they keep the doors unlocked.

It still feels like

breaking and entering.

Our tax dollars pay for this place,

might as well be a playground.

Okay, okay.

Why, why don't you check those cabinets?

There might be something there, I dunno.

There's literally nothing in here.

There's nothing in that one either.

Okay.

(drawers shuffling)

(intriguing music continues)

[Krista] None of this has anything.

Just tons of like those folder things.

Some inspirational

Oh wait, I, I, I think I found something.

What? Lemme see.

Um, SATs.

Wait, wait, wait, client database.

[Krista] That could be

something, you never know.

It says 120.

That's how much Ideity charges for his IDs.

[Krista] Oh my God.

[Newton] Why doe he have these photos?

Why are pictures of

the kids? It's so creepy.

(eerie music)

Why is there a picture of you?

I don't, I don't, I don't know.

Wait.

(eerie music continues)

Red spray paint.

We need to leave.

All right, now we need

to drop the evidence at the police station,

but Barrett can't know it's coming from us.

I'll call the station and

get him out of there.

(dial tone ringing)

Hello? Yeah, this is,

is this the East Pine Police Department?

Yeah, I'd like to report some mischief

on First Congregational

Church on Maple Street.

Yeah, well, you see,

those no good Boy Scout truants are back,

and they've been harassing me for years.

I mean, it's ridiculous.

Yes, that'd be perfect.

An officer should drive by.

Excellent.

Yes, perfect.

All righty, God bless you.

All right, thank you so much.

Bye-bye.

All right, five, four, three, two.

(door bangs open) (car alarm beeps)

Go, go, go, drop off the file.

Me? Why do I have to do it?

I'm the one that made the phone call.

Well, I didn't know we were picking

between the phone call and dropping it off.

I absolutely would've

picked the phone call.

Are you a good friend or what?

Let me get my sweatshirt.

(feet pattering)

What are you doing?

You let me drive all the time.

Fine, I guess we're dying tonight.

(seat belt clicks)

(door opens and closes)

(engine humming)

(engine humming continues)

(tires screech)

Oh my God, that's him.

What?

That's the principal's car!

I saw it leaving the school the other day.

(dramatic music)

(g*n fires)

(tense rising music) (heart thumping)

(heart thumping continues)

(crickets chirping)

So that was him?

Yeah, that was him all right.

I'm sure the police will

arrest him anytime now.

That still doesn't fix our trauma.

Yeah, I guess not.

Abigail told you not to screw around,

and you did anyways.

What? Don't take her side.

You're my friend.

Yeah, when it's convenient.

What's that supposed to mean?

When you're like breaking

into the school and sh*t

looking for the documents,

that's when you asked me to be your friend.

When you're building your little empire,

you asked your sisters instead of me.

I, I, I didn't think you wanted to help.

I didn't, but it would've

been nice to have been asked.

Okay, I'll, I'll make more

of an effort next time.

There's not gonna be a next time.

Right, because the

empire is over tomorrow.

No.

There's not gonna be a next time for us.

What?

I'm done with you.

Friendship is supposed to be

a two-way street, you know?

I'm there for you for everything,

and it's been really hard

for you, for your dad, I get it.

I feel so bad that you

had to deal with that.

But at the same time,

other people have sh*t,

and other people need you to help.

And then you made me feel bad

about not wanting to go out

and for getting you shot at.

I need to take care of myself too.

I need you to get out.

What?

I need to get the f*ck out of my car.

(contemplative music)

(door closes)

(contemplative music continues)

(engine starts)

(gravel crunching)

(contemplative music continues)

Did he come home last night?

I don't know.

You're always the one complaining

about his badger feet

running up the stairs.

Well, he knows we need

30 of these things done

by five o'clock.

Do you really love Taylor Swift?

Yeah.

Okay, but let's focus on Newton.

I bet he's just off getting

us like donuts or something.

(phone buzzing)

Speaking of donuts.

Hey.

[Barrett] Shannon.

We, we had an anonymous

tip last night in the Ideity case.

Really?

[Barrett] Yeah, we're

following the tip right now.

Seems a bit sketchy.

There's no chance you had

anything to do with this, right?

Absolutely not.

[Barrett] Okay, you didn't like go rogue

and investigate it by yourself?

No, no, no.

I, I didn't tell anyone about

Ideity except for my family.

Hey, can I call you back?

[Barrett] I, I'd love

to get to the bottom

Evidence incriminating Ideity shows up

at the police station the

same night Newton disappears.

He just said he was

going out with Krista.

That was probably just a lie.

He wouldn't involve her.

Yeah, he totally got me involved.

We got run off the road and shot at.

- Oh my God.

- Are you okay?

I'll be fine.

So he didn't come home last night?

You couldn't find him?

We don't know.

That's why we called you.

He and I had a fight at the drive-in.

Oh my God, what if he dies?

Don't say that.

Can you help us look for him?

Of course.

We'll be right over.

[Shannon] Are you sure

he's not at the Strand?

[Krista] Mr. Conrad said

he checked three times.

Hey, Krista, I meant to ask,

did you ever get any better at algebra

after I tutored you last summer?

No, actually I got worse.

I started selling NFTs, so I dropped out.

Guys, can you focus please?

If he's not at the drive-in

and he's not at the Strand, where is he?

I think I know.

But it's the last place he'd ever wanna go.

Where?

To see our dad.

(somber music)

It's just ever since the funeral,

Krista's been there for me.

Always there for me, you know?

And I put her in danger.

Now, I don't know how

I can make things right.

You know I talk to you every day?

And if you had some

advice from the afterlife,

now would be the time.

Of course not, of course not.

You know, the ironic thing is,

I've been raising all

this money for the Strand,

but I've barely gone since

we started selling IDs.

I, I've just been having so much fun

spending time with Shannon and Abigail,

I, I almost forgot the whole

reason I'm doing all this.

Unless the real reason

I've been doing all this

is to spend more time

with Shannon and Abigail.

(gentle music)

Listen, I need to tell you guys

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

We sent you like a million texts.

And called nonstop.

We left voice mails. Voicemails!

You just don't come home last night

after you get run off

the road by a lunatic?

Look, I know it wasn't the smartest idea,

and I'm really sorry.

You know, they arrested an

innocent guy because of you?

Innocent guy?

What are you talking about?

The principal, he's not Ideity.

He runs a tutoring and mentors hip program.

That's what the folder was for.

He thought you'd use some

guidance from college students.

But, but the red spray paint.

Apparently he just repainted

the rectory at St. Mary's.

So you break into a

Christian principal's office,

steal his stuff when

he's trying to help you,

and you frame him for m*rder.

But in my defense

Nope! No defense, Newton.

I'm gonna say something to you,

and it's gonna be pretty harsh, okay?

You are living in a fantasy world.

In real life, people don't go chasing

after someone who sent them a death threat.

In fact, they don't

start a fake ID business

to save a movie theater.

You're...

You're just a kid who no

one wanted to say no to

because his dad died.

And we should have said no

before we broke the law with you,

before your friend got shot at,

and before you started

thinking you were an action hero.

Shannon, you feel the same?

I think this may have been a mistake.

You know, I thought the hardest thing

was saying goodbye to Dad,

but now it feels like

I'm losing the two of you.

I just wanted someone to

be there for me, you know?

But I guess I shouldn't have been so stupid

to think that you guys

would be there forever.

(slow gentle music)

Oh my God.

Where's my laptop?

(slow gentle music

continues) (air swooshing)

I had a really expensive

laptop on our kitchen table.

Well, I mean, obviously

insurance covers a lot of that.

Yeah, so are we like okay

in the house and everything,

Oh yeah, no. I mean, yeah.

Because they could come back?

But I'm, yeah, I'm really

sorry about this, you guys.

[Abigail] Yeah, and if you guys find out

any more information, please let us know.

Do you recognize this man?

[Cindy] Yes, that's

the high school principal.

That is exactly right.

Last night someone dropped off

a case of quote, unquote, "evidence"

implicating this man in our investigation

with the fake ID business

that's being run in town.

Unfortunately, this man

has nothing to do with it.

And it was a false allegation.

And we have reason to

believe it was your son Newton

who dropped off the case, so...

(slow gentle music continues)

(slow gentle music continues)

(upbeat music)

(phone buzzing)

(upbeat music continues)

It's so weird to think

this is the end of the road.

You're telling me, I spent

more than 30 years here.

What do you think you'll miss the most?

Certainly the films.

Really?

I would expect you to say

the customers or the staff.

People come and go.

But old movies stay with you forever.

Yeah.

Do you think it's the

movie that stays with you

or the experience?

Help me understand the distinction.

Well, the first movie I ever

saw here was "The Sandlot"

when I was like six.

And it's a great movie,

but I was terrified of the neighbor's dog.

So to cheer me up, my

dad put popcorn up his nose

and then flared his nostrils,

and, and the kernels just

shot out like snot rockets.

And I wasn't so scared anymore.

In a lot of ways, saying

goodbye to the Strand,

it's like saying goodbye

to my dad all over again.

It's been an emotional

time for the staff too.

We're having a little goodbye soiree

at my cottage this evening.

You should come, it'll be cathartic.

Oh, that sounds really nice,

but I don't know if I

can get a ride though.

Well, the last show's almost done.

I'd be happy to give you a lift.

Oh, that's, that's super generous.

We're practically like

family after all this time.

It's no trouble.

(cups clap)

I hate to always be the

one to break the news

But we all seem to see the truth

(phone buzzes)

- Hello?

Shannon, guess what?

You don't have to guess.

I found Ideity, the real one.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

A car matching our description

ran a Volvo off the road the other night.

We, some neighbor I guess caught

the entire thing on a Ring camera.

I just thought I'd call and let you know

you got nothing more to worry about.

Yeah, that's great.

Wait, who is he?

I shouldn't say until we process him

just because it might be

like another principal incident.

But I can tell you that I

am on my way to his cottage

down by the lake right now.

He's at a cottage down by the lake?

Yeah, but I kept it vague.

Is this cottage on the Hideaway Lane?

Yes.

I shouldn't say that.

You, how do you know that?

(dial tone beeps)

(soft eerie music)

(doors close)

(eerie music continues)

(eerie music continues)

(switch flips) (phone buzzes)

(keys texting)

(eerie music continues)

(phone buzzes)

(tense music)

Uh, hey, Mr. Conrad, I'm

actually not feeling too well.

I think that's what happens

when you eat gummy worms and soda all day.

So I'm, I'm actually gonna head out.

But, but thanks for the invite.

You should stay, really.

Come to think of it,

I don't think I ever asked you

how you got the money for the Strand.

I mean, your bake sale

and car wash went south.

How'd you turn your bad luck around?

Well, you, you know

how resourceful I can be.

Grant's rich uncle died,

corporate settlement, bootlegging.

(chuckles) That's a lot of reasons.

Why don't you tell me the real one?

(Newton gulps)

(chuckles) If you hadn't

given them out at the Strand,

I might not have caught on.

Oh, I had such a soft spot for you.

But...

(foreboding music)

Business is business.

It didn't have to end this way.

I left you a very carefully worded threat.

But then you go and make

30 more IDs for the Kappas.

Betraying my mercy comes at a price.

(heart thumping) But you

said we were just like family.

I had to lure you here.

You're never gonna get

away with this, Mr. Conrad.

I have been getting

away with running fake IDs

in this town for over 20 years.

But, but, but you couldn't

cover up one m*rder

without getting caught.

How do you expect to do another?

That's the richest part.

Faking your suicide will almost be cliche.

Distraught teen who's all alone.

Daddy's just died. Sisters hate him.

And now his real home shuts down.

It's just too much to stomach.

You're wrong, Mr. Conrad.

I've never been alone.

(siren wailing)

(Mr. Conrad grunts) (g*n fires)

(fraught music)

sh*t.

(fraught music continues)

No, no, no.

(fraught music continues)

Pete.

Shannon, you haven't been

down to the theater in ages.

But these are such odd

circumstances for a reunion.

I know who you are and you're done.

My sister, she's calling the cops,

and they're gonna put

you away for k*lling that kid.

You know what?

I'm not gonna wait for them.

I'm making a citizen's arrest.

(Conrad laughs)

I'm serious. Put your hands up.

[Barrett] Do it, Conrad!

(patriotic music)

What the hell happened to you, Barrett?

Everything all right?

What happened? You shot at me.

Not intentionally.

Damn boy got a hold of my g*n.

I was just trying to

Drop it!

Shannon's got you dead to rights.

It's over.

Put your hands above your head.

Of course. Not a problem.

I'd be glad to.

Just as soon as you show me your g*n.

sh*t.

Duck!

(fraught music)

(g*n fires)

(dial tone ringing)

(dial tone beeps)

Oh, dammit!

Abby, I don't wanna die

in Mr. Conrad's cottage.

Me neither, this place

smells like a cranberry bog.

(fraught music continues)

(feet pattering)

(g*n fires)

(fraught music continues)

Requesting backup.

I am requesting backup on Hideaway Lane.

(g*n firing)

Come, come on, come in.

(g*n fires) (tire wheezing)

He shot the tire.

We need to make a run for it!

No, the last thing we do!

He can sh**t us and he has a running car.

Then how do we get out of here?

Mr. Conrad has got

a jet ski at at the dock.

We take it across the lake

and we call 9-1-1 when we get service.

The jet skis only seats two people.

We can't leave anyone behind.

I think I got a fix for that.

(fraught music continues)

(stairs banging)

(g*n clicks)

(fraught music intensifies)

Barrett.

(gnome shatters)

(frenetic music)

(Conrad growls)

Guys, we gotta go.

Get on the unicorn.

(frenetic music continues)

(jet ski roaring)

(frenetic music continues)

(jet ski roaring)

(frenetic music continues)

(jet ski rumbling)

[Abigail] Ugh, the jet ski is stalling.

What are you guys doing?

He's gonna be here any minute.

It's not working.

I think we're out of gas.

Do you have your phone?

It's shot.

Mine's back at the car.

You need to go run for help.

I can't leave you guys.

Just run to town and ask for help.

Okay.

Look, guys, I, I'm so sorry for everything.

I shouldn't have been looking for Ideity.

You guys were right.

But I want you guys to know

that I love you so much and I'm so sorry.

Apology accepted.

Yes, we love you. Please just go.

(apprehensive music)

Is anyone out there?

Help!

(apprehensive music continues)

(gate creaks)

(apprehensive music continues)

(apprehensive music continues)

(dial tone humming)

(expectant music)

What the?

Get back here, Newton!

(suspenseful music)

(suspenseful music continues)

(lighter flicks)

(movie playing)

(fire ignites)

What a sorry little trick.

(fire alarm blaring)

(suspenseful music continues)

No one knows this theater

better than me, Newton!

You had so many good times here.

Now you're destroying the place?

Seriously?

Gotcha.

(pole slams) (Newton screams)

(fire alarm blaring continues)

(suspenseful music continues)

Come on, Newton, you wanted

to save this place so badly.

You worked so hard.

Don't let that go to waste.

The Strand is your home, Newton.

It's your palace, remember?

(Conrad grunts)

(machine slams)

(expectant music)

(box smacks)

(fire alarm blaring continues)

It's just a movie theater, man.

(Newton coughing) (fire

alarm blaring continues)

(gentle music) (Newton breathing heavily)

(gentle music continues)

(fire alarm blaring continues)

(Newton coughs)

(gentle music continues)

Are you okay?

I mean, you're not dead, but

I can't believe this.

Look, I've been so

selfish the past few weeks

and since dad died, really.

And, and I want you guys to know that.

I wasn't doing the fake ID

thing to save the theater.

No, I, I, I was doing it to

spend time with both of you.

I never needed the Strand

or an empire.

I just needed my two sisters.

(uplifting music)

What happened to Conrad?

He's, I don't know if

he's dead or not, but

Oh my God.

I... Are we gonna go look?

Oh my God, Pete!

Hey.

Uh, okay, if any of you guys

ever work in law enforcement

and you think it would look like so cool

to catch the bad guy all by yourself,

just, just call for backup.

But mission accomplished though.

Oh, look what survived the jet ski ride.

So what, did Conrad steal your laptop

because Newton figured him out?

Exactly. All the evidence

is on Abigail's laptop.

[Abigail] But only that evidence.

Yeah, nothing else.

No other reason why

he'd want to steal from us.

But he scrubbed it.

Nothing on there anymore.

All right, well, whenever

you guys are all right,

I do need someone to

make a formal statement.

I can help with that.

Okay, we'll go talk to

my commanding officer.

Wait, Abigail, I... Don't mention it.

What happened to never bailing us out?

People change I guess.

Fighting against what's

wrong doesn't matter.

But people being wronged,

I guess they're worth fighting for.

Same for you, right?

What do you mean?

Changing for the better?

Would party girl Shannon and her fake ID

ever help with a police investigation?

Or her little brother?

I doubt it.

You know, I guess it was a lot more fun

than I thought it would be.

And a lot scarier too.

Yeah, much scarier.

I'm just glad that we can put

the family business behind us.

That I'm not so sure about.

- Newton.

- What?

I have some ideas for a new venture.

(light upbeat rock music)

What kind?

[Newton] We'll put the fake ID money

towards something sustainable.

Something crazy, cool, fun.

(light upbeat rock music continues)

(light upbeat rock music continues)

Say it.

No, mm-mm.

It's not that hard.

You can say it.

I know I can, but I don't want to.

Repeat after me.

Her Lady Krista is correct.

Her Lady Krista is correct.

That the drive-in is awesome.

That the drive-in is awesome.

See, now we're even you.

Promise?

Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna hold

the whole almost dying

thing over your head anymore.

Good.

Unless it benefits me.

You're the worst.

You almost had me k*lled.

You said we were even.

You keep the score way too much.

- Fine.

- That's not cool.

How will I ever repay you?

Glad you asked.

I have a new adventure for us.

What's that?

There's a haunted

hotel on Millbury Street.

I say we book the honeymoon suite.

Stay over. See what happens.

Well, not in the sexual way, I mean.

It's gonna be fun and awesome.

What kind of ghost ghosts are we talking?

Like specters, ghouls, slimeballs?

[Newton] All of the above.

Okay.

But I have to check in

with Shannon and Abby,

and I'll be right back.

Hey, I love you dude.

Love you too...

Dude.

(Krista chuckles)

You're the expert.

Hey, is Pete coming by?

You guys already talking

sh*t about me again?

(light upbeat rock music continues)

But no classics allowed.

Because who gives a sh*t

about the power of nostalgia?

I'm a big believer in

the power of right now,

and I also believe it's gonna be

the best movie theater in the world.

(light rock music)

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la

Ooooh, ooooh

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Ooooh, ooooh

(light rock music continues)

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la

Ooooh, ooooh

Ooooh, ooooh

(light rock music continues)

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Ooooh, ooooh

Ooooh, ooooh

Ooooh, ooooh

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la, la

Na, na, na, la, la, la, la

Ooooh, ooooh

Ooooh, ooooh