04x04 - Single Ronnie

[bunniefuu]

- Taken Pauly!

- Single Ronnie!

boys: Oh!

- Maybe you need to take a shot at love

in your own dating show.

- Anything can happen. .

- Who's over this quarantine stuff?

I'm thinkin', just have everybody come out here, man.

- I'm down.

- How are we gonna do it with the girls, like--

- Double book 'em?

That's where we're at.

- What? - Oh, my God!

[excited chatter] - What?

- I don't want to put myself in any stressful situations,

especially since I'm so early on.

- What are we gonna do?

- Christopher!

- Shut the [bleep] up!

[electronic music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- The Situation is under construction.

- This might not have been the best idea.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

♪ ♪

- ♪ Yeah, heatin' up the whole block ♪

♪ Got that crew with me, everybody know we so hot ♪

- Like, a couple months ago

when we talked about, like, the Angelina stuff, like--

I knew I was pregnant, and, like, that's one of

the big reasons why I don't want to sit down with her.

- Double booking definitely sounded like a great idea

a couple weeks ago.

Like, when you're in the moment, and you're like,

"This is a great idea," and now we're here.

We find out Deena's pregnant, and we're like,

"I don't think we should've done that."

- I don't want to stress myself out.

- Our plans to bring this family back together,

are about to backfire.

- ♪ Everybody know we so hot ♪

[phone chimes]

- Hold on, I got my COVID test.

Negative! Cool!

- And, on that note,

I think it's time for dinner, fellas.

- All right, let's do it.

I'm negative for COVID!

Negative for COVID.

I'm negative for COVID!

I'm negative for COVID.

I'm negative for COVID.

I'm negative for COVID.

- I'm gonna go to my room and get ready.

- I'm still negative for COVID.

I'm looking to make some dinner reservations

for ten guidos.

[punchy music]

Is it packed?

- All right, you guys wanna roll out?

- Let's go. - Guys.

- ♪ I tested negative for the COVID ♪

- But positive for "BROVID."

- Ooh, is it in the garden? - Yeah.

- Oh, here's the waiter.

- Nobody tell anybody that I'm pregnant.

- Wow, this looks great.

- She's pregnant.

- He's the worst. - Sorry.

- I have a big mouth. - [laughs]

- Oh, I love a good charcuteries.

Oh, my God, and a little bit of a caprese salad.

You've outdone yourself.

- Thanks, minions.

[laughter] - They do look like minions!

- It's Esteban.

- Esteban?

[laughs] Esteban.

[laughter]

- I actually know somebody in prison named Esteban.

So I had to name him "Esteban."

- So happy we're all together.

Well, most of us. [laughs]

I still have to meet Nikki. - Mm-hmm.

- She's not really, like, part of the family

until we have her at dinner, technically.

It's like, we gotta do a dinner.

- Yeah, we've done that

with everybody else's significant other.

- Yeah, literally. - We have to do it.

- Yeah, we'll do that.

I know my Jersey family really want me

to bring Nikki out here.

But I have to make sure the beef is squashed,

before I bring Nikki into that.

- Single Ronnie.

- Yeah, Ron, what are you doing?

- Are you dating? - Are you gonna start looking?

- Yeah. - Me?

Nah, I've just been focused--

I just moved, so...

I'm trying to deal with that, and trying to be a single dad.

- Were you seeing somebody?

'Cause I thought I saw on your story,

that you were, kind of, talking to someone.

- I was. - It was a bang.

- I was seeing someone for a little bit, but--

- What was his name?

- Trevor. [laughter]

- You know what?

Ronnie is doing big things right now.

He's moved away from Jen.

He's co-parenting Ariana.

He moved into an awesome house.

He's making good decisions.

- He just needs the nice girl, now.

- I need a good role model for Ariana, you know?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- I need someone that's going to keep me stable

and take care of me. - A partner.

- Yeah, basically. - Exactly.

- Let me and Vinny pick the girl.

- [laughs]

[laughter]

- Just once. Let us try it.

- We're dating experts, bro.

- No, he's a dating expert.

You've just been on a lot of dates.

[laughing] - There's a difference.

- Nah, I'm [bleep].

- I feel like I've known you for a long time,

- Listen-- - I know what you need.

- Yeah.

- 'Cause I've been both sides of the fence, here.

- I dunno.

- We like single Ronnie.

He's been a gem to be around.

But we know how much, deep down, he needs somebody.

He's getting his life together,

and it's tough to find a girl right now

in a pandemic, but I have an idea.

It's either the most genius idea ever,

or the most dumbest idea ever.

I'll do a straight up casting.

I'll do a straight up casting.

"Who wants to date Ronnie Magros?"

[laughs] - "Magros"?

- Partner in crime,

somebody he can take over the world with.

- See what I'm saying? - [laughs]

- Let us figure it out.

- He's acting like he's joking, but...

both: he's not.

- He's not joking, that's what I know.

- I know those girls aren't wifeys.

- I think Vinny just hasn't found the right person.

[phone chimes]

♪ ♪

- Vinny?

- [laughing] I opened up my DM.

First thing I see is, like, an open DM,

and I read what the girl wrote, and it says...

[laughing] "I like choking."

[laughter]

- Everyone's like, "We wanna find you a girlfriend."

But Vinny?

I don't even think he should really be involved in this.

- Just randomly, like, you know when you scroll?

- That's what people send to you?

- Yeah.

- What you give off, you will receive.

- I don't like getting choked, [bleep] that.

Girls try that. - I don't like that.

- Angelina told us that

Chris likes getting beat the [bleep] out of.

- Yup.

- Like slapped, choked-- - What?

- Yeah. - What?

- You never heard her say that? - No.

- Elaborate.

- Choking and slapping.

- I like rough sex.

I [bleep] slap Chris, I'm like--

- Really? - [slapping sound]

[laughter]

- [bleep] slapped the [bleep] outta him.

- I'm on top of him, I'm like,

"Yeah, [bleep]," and I'm like,

[slapping sound]

- [laughs] - Oh, my God.

"I [bleep] choke him out, and he [bleep] loves it."

- That's exactly how she talks.

- Poor soul.

♪ ♪

- Oh, Christopher.

- Oh, you cooked?

Wow, this looks good.

Thanks for cooking for me, babe.

Wow.

[bleep], man.

- Ooh, what a great steak I cooked, right?

- Mm-hmm. - Say "thank you."

- Thank you.

- Are you ever gonna get out of this house?

- Yeah. - When?

- Are you gonna get out of this house and go to Vegas?

- No.

I'm, like, freaking out.

What if I get off the plane, and, like,

and they freakin' ambush me, or some [bleep]?

- Eh, then you'll get jumped.

That's how it happens sometimes.

When you get initiated in a g*ng,

they beat the [bleep] outta you and jump you,

and then you're in the g*ng, so...

- Are you an as*h*le?

- Listen, I love the boys.

But I just feel nervous about this trip because

you never know what the [bleep]

they're gonna do to me anymore.

- Bro, is that Angelina? - No, keep going.

[guys laughing]

- I put the deep throat numbing spray

in Angelina's mouthwash.

- Pauly!

[laughter]

No, really.

What if they have, like, the girls are already there?

- Then they're there.

[dramatic music, clock ticking]

['s "Young Black Mind"]

- This is further than we walked before, I think.

- No idea how we got here.

- Tell myself that every day.

- [laughs]

- Ron looks great. - He does.

I think this is the best I've ever seen him.

- Facts. - Yeah.

- We got single Ronnie in a pandemic.

Unfortunately, he picked a bad time to finally be single.

Me and Pauly happen to be dating experts.

- Dating connoisseurs, if you will.

- We're like the bachelors.

- The "ratchet"-lers. The rachet bachelors.

- Yeah, probably the "ratchet"-lers.

- The "rachet"-lers for sure.

- We were on "Double shot at Love."

- You are all on a show to date both of us.

[all screaming]

both: You're on a "Double Shot at Love."

- Twice.

[all shouting]

- You scared the [bleep] outta me!

- God, we've missed you girls!

- We might as well be Chris Harrison at this point.

- Yes.

- From all the dating shows we've been on?

- But what I wanna do is, put out some sort of,

like, I don't know, feeler ad, or post, or something.

We'll go through all the submissions

and we'll find the top, whatever, ten?

- All right, so what am I sayin'?

"Are you ready to party?" - Maybe.

- No, no, "Are you ready to party."

- I'm gonna keep it general, see what we get.

"Send some video submissions..."

- I feel like they're gonna think this is for porn,

or something. - Well, we'll see what we get.

We gotta try somewhere.

- We're gonna put you on a dating show.

- I'm finally happy, and you want to ruin it?

- She looks like Jen, are you [bleep] kidding me?

- You think so?

- I didn't really bring "date" clothes.

- [laughing] - You're gonna look swaggy.

- It's happening! - Oh, my God.

- I think she seemed nice.

[JumpMan's "Conquer it All"]

- We have a lot to celebrate tonight.

- Yeah, we do.

- Yes, I tested-- uh, negative for COVID.

- [laughing] You were about to say positive.

[laughter]

- Nah, but we tested positive for BROVID.

- Yeah, bud. - Oh, nice.

- Some of the symptoms of BROVID- is just like,

you know...

Just, like, chilling with your bros.

You know, if you wake up with, like,

some swag, like, in your throat, you know,

that's a symptom of BROVID-.

Like you're hot, but you don't have a fever.

- Please get feet away from me.

[hip-hop music]

- You think Pauly's gonna bring his girlfriend?

- Maybe. - What do you think about that?

- Listen, we moved faster than anybody

in the history of New York.

- Me? - Me and you.

- What are you talking about?

- I'm saying we first started dating,

we moved in within, like, a month.

Got engaged within seven months--

- No, I had my--excuse me,

I had my own apartment on the [bleep] sidelines.

- But we were together every night.

- God forbid, [bleep] hit the fan with me and you.

She does cook him a lot of meals, I gotta tell you that.

- Really? - Don't get any [bleep] ideas.

- Maybe go on that show, "Wife Swap."

- Why, so you can [bleep] another woman?

- No, just so I can eat.

- We need to celebrate baby meatball.

- Yes. - Aw, yeah.

- This kid is gonna make me a real,

real meatball. [laughs]

I'm definitely gonna gain weight with this one.

I feel it.

[overlapping chatter] - It's probably a girl.

- It's a girl,

if it's a completely different pregnancy.

- Yeah. - Don't they say like if you--

if it's like, lower, or something, it's a--

- It's, supposedly, if you orgasm, it's gonna be a boy.

- I never heard that. - What the hell?

- It's like a thing. [laughter]

- Wait, if you orgasm, it's gonna be a boy?

- Yeah, like, the thing is--

- Now I'm thinking about my mom orgasming.

[laughter] - Whoa, oh!

- Surprise, surprise.

- No, it's like a "tale", or whatever.

both: Like a old wives tale.

- Yeah, and then I looked it up and it says it in Google.

So, must be true.

- Oh, nah--no!

- So weird! - Yeah.

- I don't know where Deena gets her information from,

a magazine, or something like that?

- Deena's like, holding up instructions

while Chris is banging her,

she's like,

"I have to be on top,

degree angle."

[laughs]

- I mean, I don't know if that's real, but...

CJ thinks it's a girl.

[laughs] - What the hell?

- Christopher, I've never seen somebody

that has an a*s[bleep] like yours.

- You want this homecooked meal life,

but you go to the bathroom seven times a day.

So it doesn't make me really want to cook for you.

I'm just saying. - That's how I stay so skinny.

- [blows raspberry]

And you're getting mad about that?

Like, people want to be skinny.

- Yeah, that's how I stay nice and thin.

- Okay.

[bleep]. Your wife deprives you.

- No, 'cause I [bleep] it out. - Oh.

- Do you have comprehension skills, or a problem?

- I'm gonna [bleep] pour this seltzer right down your throat.

- Come on, stop.

All right, when's this [bleep] plane comin' to pick you up?

- Never.

- Ron, we wanna pick your brain.

- [laughs]

- We are on a mission to find Ron a nice woman.

Our phones are blowing up right now.

This is working.

- We're gonna pick Ron's brain for a minute.

- The hell?

- I'm glad the boys included us girls.

'Cause they would've got, just, all these, like, raunchy girls

that probably just want to show their boobies.

- Threesome! [laughs]

[quirky drum beat]

- [laughs] What the [bleep]?

both: Oh, my God.

- Your wife and a pregnant lady--

[laughter]

- Awkward.

- That's sicker than anything I've said so far!

- This guy's delirious.

- That's your wife, bro. - Wow, bro.

- It's just a joke.

- [bleep], huh?

All right, well, I guess we're leaving you.

- Yeah, let's see the submissions we got.

- Bro, I got so many [bleep] submissions.

- Oh, okay, let's get it.

- So, I feel like we need to find you a girl.

- So you wanna ruin my happiness?

[laughs] - No!

- No!

- I'm finally happy, and you wanna ruin it?

- If it was up to me,

I would find Ronnie a good girl.

Someone that is sweet, down to earth.

She would have a really nice a*s and thick.

And someone with a good personality.

- I need someone that's gonna pick up where I lack,

in a way, you know, kinda like what you do with Mike.

- Yeah.

- I just need somebody to just kinda help me.

Someone who will love me and support me, and just--

just be there for me.

- Let's get it.

So Vinny and I are the best ones to find Ronnie a match

because we've dated women before.

So, we got some casting videos to find Ronnie a wife.

The first one's Naomi. - Naomi.

- Hi, Naomi.

- What about, like, looks?

- I mean, yeah, I have to be completely attracted to her.

- Before COVID, I worked at Drai's Nightclub.

- What? Drai's Night--

He's definitely probably already smashed this chick.

- I know. - [laughs]

This is his exact type. - I know.

- This is Ronnie's girl, right here.

- But this is the reason why he's single.

We don't want this. - Yeah, I know.

- What kind of personality do you like?

- Just--I need funny. - Funny.

- Yeah, she has to have a sense of humor.

- Funny, sense of humor. - Yeah.

- She looks like Jen, are you [bleep] kidding me?

- You think so? - Yes.

- And her name is Ariana.

- She's , in Las Vegas-- she don't look like Jen?

[ding]

- A little bit.

- These girls are wild.

Let's look at-- - Taj.

- I used to have bad teeth, I got braces.

Not everyone has that luxury, but I just--

I can't with bad teeth. - Yeah. Okay.

- At least let them be white, they don't have to be perfect--

- Hey, Ronnie got some white-a*s teeth, man.

- Yeah, Ronnie got the whitest teeth I ever [indistinct].

- [laughs]

[ding]

- I do it all, I'm not jealous, I'm not gonna nag you.

- Perfect! - Yeah.

- I just want to show people

that I'm here and I'm consistent.

If I need to [bleep] your [bleep] today--

- [laughing]

- Run that back, yo, run that back.

- Nonna? - We're going home [bleep].

- [laughing]

- If we're standing in the basement, at my mom's house,

like, I'm gonna hop on top.

- These girls are freaks.

- She's like, "If we gotta get in, we gotta get in."

"It could be at nonna's house."

- If I gotta get in today, I'll suck [bleep] today, yeah.

That one's for me.

Yo, put her on. She's good.

- Yeah, she's-- - Taj.

- All right, this preggers is sleepy.

- Preggers on the reggers. - All right.

- After hearing Ron's list,

some of these requirements are absolutely insane.

This is gonna be a very tough girl to find.

- All right, good night, my dude.

- Good night.

- We have a huge day tomorrow, this is so exciting.

I've been on two dating shows,

now it's time for me to work my magic.

Ron has no idea what's about to come at him.

- This is gonna be interesting.

So he wants a slim, thick chick, is what he wants.

[laughs]

- We got you, Ron.

[Impirio & Cru's "Rollin'] - ♪ Gotta do 'em like that ♪

♪ Two seats with the top leaned back ♪

♪ Maybe you know it ♪ - Morning, honey.

- ♪ West side to the best side ♪

- Morning. Wake up, chooch.

- Stop, dude.

- [laughs]

Bro, those girls look good.

Today is a big day.

Ronnie is getting a shot at love.

Best case scenario, we find him a girlfriend.

Worst case scenario, we find Vinnie a girlfriend.

[chuckles]

- Yo, my [bleep] DM is still goin' off.

- Bro, I don't think we need anymore.

We got good quality girls.

If this works out, if we find this man a woman,

we could do this for a living. - Oh, no.

Like, this is our new career. - We're really good at this.

- We're experienced. - Yeah.

- If you would.

- Listen, I know that I might not be the best person

to give dating advice,

since I've been on two dating shows,

and I'm still single, but I learned a lot.

- Relationships have been

a roller coaster his whole life.

He certainly needs to do something different

than what he's been doing.

If anybody can help this man find a real woman, it's us.

- For the love of Ron.

- Fellas. - Yo.

- Yo, we gotta get some food, yo.

- I'm hungry. - Order breakfast.

- Yes, can I order some room service, please?

Can you guys get me the full spread?

I need eggs, pancakes-- - Everything.

- Bacon, sausage, potatoes, French toast, fruit, coffee--

- I want a rack of lamb.

- Is that bacon, egg, and cheese,

avocado, on an English muffin?

- Nutella crepes. - Grilled, not toasted.

- Grilled, not toasted, please.

All right, see you soon, thank you.

- That's what I'm talking about.

- Let's go work out.

- Guys, c'mon. - All right, let's go.

- You guys know where the fives are?

Man has baby arms.

[laughing]

- Don't laugh at Keto Guido, you know what I mean?

Like, I'm a stripper.

Wanna do a push-up challenge?

First one to hit push-ups wins.

- Oh, that's a challenge.

[intense pop music]

- Push-up!

[dinging]

♪ ♪

- Ay, what the [bleep] is that? - [laughs]

- Mike has been doing push-ups for, like, the last year.

That's all they did in jail, was push-ups.

[overlapping chatter] - [bleep].

- No! [all groan, chatter]

- Six, seven, come on--eight!

Come on! More, come on!

Come on--!

- Yeah, next time we'll do a full push-up challenge.

all: Oh!

- Wow.

- Ew, leg machine, get that outta here.

♪ ♪

We're finding a suitable suitor

for Ronald Magro.

Make sure his hair is nice and straight like his future.

- But first, we got ourselves a little situation, here.

[dramatic music, clock ticking]

- Well, we listened to this [bleep] guy

with the double booking. - [stammering]

You guys are idiots for listening to me!

- That's true. - Double booked the girls,

and now Deena's pregnant.

And Deena has no one here.

No Jenni. - No Jenni.

- Could you imagine if we bring Angelina now?

This can't happen.

- Listen, we invited Angeliners here,

and Deener, on the double booking.

We had no idea that Deeners was pregnant.

But, at the end of the day,

I mean, this still has to be solved.

- What would make Deena not leave?

- I don't know. - Some wine?

- Food? - She can't have wine.

She's pregnant, you idiot.

- The only thing she'd go home to, is her family.

- She would run right back to her family.

- She would be like, "I'm going home to my family.

[bleep] this." - Let's do the opposite.

- Yeah, what if she can't run to her family?

Because what if her family's here?

- Bring the family here.

We'll use that as a distraction when Angelina comes.

No drama. If anything,

Deena goes right to her family, she'll be distracted--

- That's a great idea.

- She'll never even [bleep] know she's here.

- It's like the pivot.

Invite Chris, tell him to bring CJ.

Also, I heard he knows how to cut head.

Tell him to bring clippers. - Oh.

- Yeah, there you go.

- Now we're cooking. - Now you're thinking!

- Oh, [bleep], what up, Chris?

- I heard you were pregnant.

- We have this idea to surprise Deener.

If we invite you and the baby out here, would you come?

- I heard you were pregnant.

- Oh!

Another thing is,

word on the street is you got clippers, man.

You cut hair.

- Oh. all: Wow!

- Now we're talking!

- Now we're talking.

- I heard you were pregnant.

- All right, man, see you soon.

Pauly's gonna send the info to you.

- Perfect. - All right, bro.

- There ya go.

There's the distraction.

- See, the no plan turned into a plan.

- RSVP is solving all the problems in life.

Operation distraction,

operation getting a fresh cut,

and now, we're finding Ronnie a new wife.

- Well, I think that two positives

are gonna outweigh a possible negative.

- [giggles]

I'm getting a little thirsty looking at those n*pples.

[laughter]

Got milk?

- Got n*pples?

[laughter]

- [laughing]

[hip-hop music]

- Oh, my God, look who it is.

Esteban. - Oh, Esteban!

- All right, it's a buffet style, guys.

- I'll be honest,

I'm goin' with the toast, today,

I'm definitely going with toast.

I'm tellin' you right now-- - I believe you.

- Angelina, you're obsessed with me.

- [laughs]

- Hi, Laurens. - Grab a plate, honey.

They're all over there. - It's all right, I got it.

all: Oh!

- First slice!

- I'm a little stressed this morning.

- Why, what's happening?

- Because you guys had the bright idea

of double booking. - Uh-huh.

- And it was all fun and games because I was not coming.

I was not a part of this hot mess.

This is, like, your thing.

This is not my thing. [indistinct chatter]

- I feel like now it's your thing, too.

- You're the swing state. - Yup.

- No, I'm not! - [laughs]

- Lauren, welcome to the family.

This is a [bleep] situation, but, you know,

this is part of it.

This is like Lauren's hazing process.

- No, but she has a valid point.

She's now, sort of, stuck in the middle.

- I didn't choose this position.

- It chose you. [laughter]

- It's gonna be drama, there's no question.

- If you deserve it, the universe will--

- Deeners! - Good morning.

- Good morning, Deeners. Good morning, Deeners.

- Hi, Mom.

I think today is going to be an awesome day,

but I don't know how Ronnie's going to react

when we finally tell him we're doing a dating show.

I don't know if he's gonna be excited,

or if he's gonna be nervous--

he's definitely gonna be nervous.

Cheers to Ron! - Yeah, to Ronnie.

- You know we love you, right?

- Eh.

- You know we want what's best for you, right?

- I hope so. [laughs]

- So we kind of... [clears throat]

Took it in our own hands,

seeing that Vinny and I are dating connoisseurs.

- You're a dating connoisseur.

- Vinny's a wh*re. Vinny's a wh*re!

- I can't hold it back. I can't hold it back.

- What? - What?

- We're gonna put you on a dating show.

- Yessuh!

- What?

- It's already in the works. - Yeah, we're not lying.

You got a / shot, here.

The dating show worked out for him.

- Yup. - It didn't work out for me.

Those are good odds. - Those are good odds.

- [mutters] - And we know--

- Those are the best odds you've had in a long time!

- [laughing]

- Best odds you've had in a long time, brother.

- Leave it up to us and we got you covered.

We got you some serious contenders, bro.

- And there was-- - Wait, you didn't smash right?

- I don't know yet.

- [laughs] "I don't know yet."

- We think one you might've already, though.

- Yeah, one you've probably smashed.

I'm like, "Yo, this is a girl Ronnie would've smashed."

- No, I don't really know how much I trust everybody,

you know, trying to find my soulmate.

- But--we're looking for something different, right?

- Yeah, something different this time.

Something quality. - This is love.

- Like I said, you need a good girl now, okay?

Playtime's over.

- Are you ready for it? - No, but--

[laughter] - That's all right.

[overlapping chatter] - Never stopped you before.

[laughter] - That's true.

- How fire would a biopic movie be of Ronnie's life?

- Imagine all the [bleep] scenes,

and like, drama and [bleep].

- It'd probably be called "Ron-demic."

- Yo, "Ron-com."

- Everybody has seen a romcom before, right?

Romantic comedy? - Yes.

- But they never saw a...

- And just to give you guys all a warning,

it's very emotional, there may be tears.

- [grunts]

- And the girls might cry as well.

- Yeah. - [laughs]

- There's always tears with me.

[muttering] I love her.

- I know you love her.

And you know what?

If you stay with her... [indistinct]

- Here I am, same crying-a*s b*tch, Ronnie.

[crying incoherently]

- Yeah.

- This is going to be interesting.

- You got a big day ahead of you, my guy.

- Yup. - Big day.

- This is me nervous, scared, frightened.

Hopefully it's a big success.

- There's gonna be, like,

very high guidelines and criteria for your new love.

- Ronnie!

- We got our T's on. - Aye.

[all talking at once] - Forget about it.

- We gonna go find these girls or what?

- We got you.

- We got a [bleep][bleep] show. - You need a girl?

Forget about it. - I need to find a good wife.

I need a good wife.

- You might have to give a speech

in honor of Ronald's big day.

- No more speeches.

- [laughs] - Don't let Deena do it.

- Yep. - I'm retiring from that.

[upbeat hip-hop music]

- Ooh, Ron, are you ready?

- Um, no, but let's do it.

- Wait, your hair's lookin' a little wild.

- I know. - Are you all right?

- We're gonna get him ready. - Sike.

- We're gonna get him ready.

- Pauly's gonna hook me up and get me the full treatment...

- Vinny's gonna do his nails. - Ooh.

- Vinny's gonna shave his pubes.

- Yup. - Very nice.

- Wax my a*s.

- Well, while the boys take care of you,

we're gonna take care of what's going on outside.

- What's going on outside? - You'll see.

Calm down, sir. - You need to set up the set?

- Yes. - Can I come?

- Well, that's why we came. - Yes.

- Oh, my goodness.

- The girls are coming in just a couple hours.

So, me, Lauren, and Mike, we're gonna set up the date,

and we're gonna decorate,

and just make sure everything is perfect.

- All right, fellas, see you in a little bit.

- Threesome!

[laughter] - "Threesome."

- Stupid.

- All right, we're gonna get you all shined up

for this date, bro.

- I'd never let two other men dress me,

but I gotta see this.

- Me and Pauly, being the hosts,

are everything to Ronnie right now.

We're, like, coaches, we're stylists.

- Time to make this place amazing!

- He can sit and be a king for the night.

Sit right here. - I like it!

- Right?

And he can really get a feel for who these girls are.

Like, their personality.

- I came for quarantine,

I didn't really bring date clothes.

- We're gonna go swaggy.

I will say these are nice jean shorts.

- Classic jean shorts. [laughs]

- Yeah. If you're gonna meet a girl,

you gotta be in jorts. Everybody wears jorts.

- Bro, we need to class this guy up a little bit.

- Some jorts.

- I need you to come over all sassy as [bleep].

both: Ooh.

- Hey, my name's Lauren, I went to school for fashion,

and I've been known to tame a "Situation."

- Oh, my goodness. - Ooh!

- You guys are the worst. - That's perfect.

- Um... - Nah, that's perfect.

- How about this, bruh--

to class is up-- no, that might work, 'cause--

- No, I'm not wearing this. [laughter]

- Vinny is the last person

I would ever take fashion tips from.

He walks around with a man purse.

- [whistles]

- Um-- - Do you have a bowtie?

[laughter]

- Oh, my goodness. Wow, beautiful.

- Beautiful. - Yeah.

- This area will be perfect... - Gorgeous!

- For, like, them to come, have c*ck.

- And we are COVID safe.

We have sanitizer at every mixer table.

- Honeys, don't forget.

- Thank you.

- Look, we'll just take the top, the blazer part--

This is the move right here. - That's the move.

- This is Ronnie Magros.

- What in the world-- that's a move.

- Now the tank top looks dope underneath there.

- This is the worst outfit I've ever seen, ever.

- That's perfect. - [laughter]

- See?

- BROVID. - BROVID.

- Let's go to the one-on-one area and sit.

- Okay. - And we'll do it.

- I'm down in the lobby right now,

and we're about to have some festivities tonight,

and--I have to try it before I buy it?

When you look up food and beverage manager

in the dictionary, you see BDS' face.

So can I please get an order of chicken "fang"-ers,

fries, and a diet soda right now?

[JumpMan's "Showtime"] - Oh, yeah.

- ♪ I'm turnin up with my team now ♪

♪ I'm turnin' down 'cause you're bein' loud ♪

- The higher the hair, the higher the standards.

[laughter]

- You look like a cone head. - [laughs]

- He looks like a rooster. - Oh, my God!

He looks amazing!

- We should have signs for the games.

Like, yes and no signs for the girls.

- All right, so what questions are we gonna do?

"Have you ever fallen in love at the Jersey Shore"?

- That's a good one.

- Honey, they gave me a side of "raunch."

Yeah, I love "raunch" dressing.

- Yo, trust us. - Yo, the higher the hair,

the longer the relationship lasts.

- Put it together.

Muah. - I thought I trusted Pauly,

up until he did this to me.

It looks like I did my hair,

and then I put my top down in my car and I just...

[engine revving] [bleep] did .

I look like a tool. - You look like a DJ.

[laughter]

- You look like a promoter in Vegas.

- Yeah!

- Outfit screams, "I wanna get married."

- This outfit screams, "Stay away from me, please."

[laughter] - Club COVID!

I love the hair. - No, the hair is great.

- Yeah, you deadass work in Vegas.

[laughter] Deadass.

Like, he looks fresh, bro.

I think you are ready, my guy. Are you nervous?

- To wear this outfit? Yeah.

- We look like brothers.

[laughs]

- I hate douchey guidos.

- I look like the son you never knew about.

[both laugh]

- We have great questions.

We've covered, like, all bases with them.

All right, let's sanitize. - I think that should be good.

- I need more "fang"-gers and fries, ASAP.

The guests are on their way.

- We'll look back on this day and laugh.

We'll be like, "Remember?" After years of marriage,

"Remember we found Rebecca?" - We were dressing him,

he didn't know what to wear, he didn't trust us.

He was like, "I don't wanna wear the blazer."

- He's gonna have four kids

with this chick and everything.

Yeah, you're welcome.

- We got a great group of women coming here right now

for a "Trouble Shot at Love" with Ronnie Magro.

- I'm a prime example that dating shows do work.

- Y'all seen "Double Shot at Love"?

- Mm-hmm.

- Y'all have seen "Double Shot at Love "?

- Yup.

- Yo, we got a [bleep] big day.

Ready to do this [bleep]? - Let's do this.

- Let's do it. - Ronnie, we got you.

- [muttering] - Ah, okay.

- You're getting it right in my eyes.

Bro.

I'm ready to find my significant other.

It's gonna stay like this forever, bro.

- There you go.

- I'm gonna have an open mind about it.

Let's see what happens.

[both laugh]

- You ready, son?

I don't want you to get no wrinkles.

- You're so stupid. [laughing]

I'm not trying to go out

looking like every Vegas promoter out there.

Might just have to just go my own way.

- It's your body. - It's your choice.

- I appreciate the effort. Brothers, I appreciate it.

- We're taking this hosting job very seriously.

And if Ronnie doesn't find a girl tonight,

it's gonna be because he didn't wear the outfit.

We wouldn't steer him in the wrong direction,

what could go wrong?

[sighs] - They grow up so fast,

don't they? - Yeah.

- Today might start the next day of your life.

[laughing] - Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God, hide!

- Go, go, go! - She's gorgeous.

I like her, I think. Wow!

Beautiful!

[all talking at once] - She had a nice butt.

- Mike, come on.

- ♪ Jesus Christ ♪

♪ Save me ♪

- Don't forget to pack your evil eye.

- I have evil eye necklace, evil eye earrings--

- What about that-- that sage thing?

- I have sage.

And I'm gonna bring a [bleep] bible.

- I think when you say the "F" curse

in front of the bible, it negates the whole--

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.

Going to Vegas tomorrow,

I'm hoping it's just me and the boys.

But just in case,

I wear a red string at all times.

And it has like, evil eyes on it.

And that is basically, like,

anybody that [bleep] comes near me,

that wants and wishes evil on me,

or wish, like, anything bad on me--

it's gonna go right at you.

Make sure it goes right with me to Vegas.

Packed and ready to go. - Sounds good.

[dramatic music, clock ticking]

[The Hoof & Skam R'tist's "We Play to Win"]

- ♪ Make your shot, don't say this all again ♪

♪ Outside you can never box me in ♪

♪ We ready to win ♪

♪ Never bottle I came here to set the trend ♪

- So, do you think it's gonna be a success?

- I think so. - It is.

- Yeah. - Listen, you guys,

we have the foods taken care of with Esteban,

all the hors d'oeuvres that anybody else could want.

- Okay. - You keep them fed.

They're gonna be happy-- - Drunk.

- Exactly.

- But if this works, we're gonna go on tour.

Hook men up all over the world.

- Yeah, there's plenty of single guys out there.

- Listen, what is the worst that could happen?

[girls inhale] He can find Mrs. Right--

- I wouldn't ask that question.

- There's my favorite stylists.

- Well, here we are.

- Here we are.

- Oh, I'm here with my man Vinny, you know,

the relationship specialist.

- Okay, so what's happening here is--

I'm gonna be the host, I'm white Jamie Foxx.

I'm Chris Harrison. Okay?

I'm--uh, who's another host? - Ryan Seacrest.

- Ryan Seacrest, yeah.

I'm the guy from-- Chuck Willery.

All right, and we're gonna find Ronnie a match.

Ronald, how you feelin'?

- I'm good.

- Elaborate. [laughs]

- I'm a little nervous. - Understandable.

- This is not even trying to find me love,

This is so stupid.

This is definitely a set up for them to bust my ba*ls

for the night.

- Ron, why don't you just tell us

a little bit about your journey?

How did we get here?

- A lot of bad relationships. - Yeah?

- We'll just skip how I got here, for now.

[laughter]

Just know that I'm here. - Fair enough.

- That's not the way this works, buddy.

- [laughs]

You can say my love life has been a drag.

[tires screeching]

- So you've obviously had

a lot of tumultuous relationships.

- Yes.

- I mean, if we want to do a little montage here,

Ron and Sam. - Mm.

- Epic. Epic proportions.

- This is my last time trying, are you friends with her?

[dramatic music]

I hate you! - Sam--

- I hate you! [indistinct shouting]

I [bleep] hate you!

I hate [bleep]--

- When I think back at that one,

I think fail. - Fail.

- And then, we moved on to Jen.

- Ooh, fail.

- You're a [bleep] loser, you're a piece of [bleep].

You're a piece of [bleep]. - Okay, okay.

- Jen dragged him with the car and drove him over a divider.

- It's not gonna happen again.

- We've been going through anger management

and therapy on our own.

- A lot of times you gotta go through a lot of

the wrong ones to find the right one.

- Yeah.

That's true, you-- you guys know.

- I'm the--I'm the host, Ron. Don't talk about me.

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- Are those girls gonna be here soon?

- Yeah, I think so. - Think so.

- Keep an eye out-- - I think they're pulling up.

- Oh, my God. Oh, [bleep] God.

It's happening. - Oh, my God.

It's happening. - Go, hide!

[upbeat music]

- Oh, my God, I think she seen me.

- She saw me. - Shh!

- I am dying to see Ron as the bachelor

in tonight's "Trouble Shot at Love."

This is gonna be fun tonight.

- ♪ Ready, set, go ♪

- [whispering] Go, go, go...

- Are you serious about this?

- Sure.

Let's see where this takes us, you know?

- Do you trust Vincent and I?

- With your heart.

- I do. - Well, you know what--

- I might regret saying that, but I do.

- This man seems ready. - I think he is ready.

- He's ready for love.

- All the women are waiting for you.

Today might start the next day of your life.

[laughter]

Tonight is the first day--

- Of the rest of your life? - Of the rest of your life.

Are you ready for your "Trouble Shot at Love"?

- I'm ready for my "Trouble Shot at Love."

- Let's do it. - Let's do it.

- He's ready. - My man's ready.

- BROVID. - BROVID.

[laughter]

- Best scenario is that Ronnie finds a potential girl

that could be a real part of his life.

And worst scenario is, he finds another

spiraling, toxic relationship that haunts his life

for the next ten years.

What can go wrong?

To a "Trouble Shot at Love."

[upbeat dance music]

- Oh, hey, I'm Vinny.

- And I'm DJ Pauly D.

- It's hard finding love in a pandemic.

- It sure is, that's why I had to rent an entire resort

in Las Vegas. - Yes, he did.

And we have the perfect girls here in our little bubble

to meet the perfect bachelor...

both: Ronnie Magro.

[upbeat pop music]

- ♪ Won't you be my baby ♪

- Hi, I'm Ronnie.

I'm the "Trouble Shot at Love"

because I've had trouble finding love, that's for sure.

For once, I'm definitely looking for a long time,

not a good time, you know?

I definitely want someone that's gonna be there.

I'm tired of just cycling through girls

and relationships.

I kind of want someone that's going to be my best friend.

- Welcome to...

both: A "Trouble Shot at Love."

♪ ♪

- Yeah, buddy!

♪ ♪

- It's happening!

It's happening. - Let's go.

- [whispering] We gotta hide!

- Oh, my God! - Go, go, go--

- Hi.

- Thank you.

- Oh, my God, I think she seen me.

- She saw me! - Oh, my God, she saw me.

- She's tall.

- Oh, she's too tall for him.

- Ronnie's vertically challenged.

We all know that. Yeah.

- I'm nervous. - Have a chip.

Have a chip.

- Straight to the bar. - She went right to the bar.

It's kind of nerve-wracking

because this could be life-changing for Ron.

He could find the love of his life tonight.

She's, like, dressed in lingerie.

- There's another one coming. There's another one coming.

There's another one coming. - Uh, back it up.

- [whispering] Go, go, go.

- Oh, I like that dress. - She looks great.

- She's gorgeous. - She was pretty.

- Ooh! - Whoa, neon.

- Stay behind the curtain. They'll see you.

- Hey, guys! Whoo!

both: Ooh!

- She did the-- - She did a little shake.

- They're comin' in like c*ck.

- I like her, I think.

- He did say he wanted, like...

big a*s, thick-- - Big a*s.

- I'm like, "Oh, my God, like, these girls are attractive."

Ronnie's got a shot--

or shall I say, a trouble Shot at love.

- Oh, wow!

Oh, beautiful!

- Think she saw me.

I feel that right now in Ronnie's life,

he needs a mature girl with her head on her shoulders.

- Hey! [overlapping greetings]

- Big booty with a credit score.

- Neon has a really nice butt.

You see that thing? - Yeah.

- Can I show Mike it? - [laughing] Yes.

- Mike--

- Yeah, yeah, I see it, I see it, I see it.

- Nice butt.

- You know, I'm a little excited but nervous

to meet all these girls.

- Let's do this, my guy.

I have no idea what these guys have in store for me.

- Wanna walk through this? - "Welcome ladies.

I'm DJ Pauly D."

- Basically my love life is in their hands, right now.

- "Please give a warm welcome to the Juicehead Gorilla--

Ronnie Margo." - Aye!

- I may have [bleep] myself on this one.

- But how's the dating out here?

- The dating's terrible. - Right?

- I'm nervous. - I'm excited for this.

- Deener, get back.

- They can't see me. I'm camouflaged.

- No, who do you think we're gonna meet?

- I have no idea.

- Do you think it's somebody from here in Vegas?

- I think it's someone in Vegas.

So I'm like, okay, it's Calvin Harris.

- I know Floyd Mayweather lives in Vegas.

- Floyd Mayweather? [laughter]

I'd be down.

- Okay. We're good.

Hey, guys. - Yo, yo, yo.

- Any contenders? - Yes.

All of them are so pretty. - Very classy.

- We did good.

- I wasn't too hopeful about finding quality women

off the Internet.

I have trouble doing that for myself.

But they're telling us we got some

real potential women here.

- The first and the last-- - She had a nice butt.

- Mike, come on. - Mike, come on.

Your wife is right here. - I allowed it.

I allowed it. - Hall pass.

- I'm telling you, they seem like fun people.

This could be the night Ronnie gets married.

All right, so I guess we should go meet these ladies.

- Yes. - Let's do it.

- All right, guys. - All right, guys.

- Showtime.

♪ ♪

- Yeah, buddy!

[dramatic music]

- Are you guys excited? - Yeah.

I wasted years of my life on the wrong guy.

- You know what, love is in the air.

- I hope one of us falls in love.

- So what do you guys want, though?

- I want to find love. I wanna, like, find my person.

- We have to walk in dominant.

Oh, God, I'm so short compared to these girls.

- Me too. - Hey, ladies.

- Oh, my God. - Hi.

- I'm Deena. - And we're the "Situations."

- We are so excited that you all came here

ready to find love.

- So we have a special guy for you,

so you ladies better keep it classy.

- Okay.

- Who's ready to meet a guido?

[all cheering]

- Yes.

- ♪ Now hold up, wait a second ♪

[all cheering]

- Welcome, ladies. I'm DJ Pauly D.

You might know me from a "Jersey Shore"

and a "Double Shot at Love." - And I'm Vinny.

You may also know me from "Jersey Shore"

and a "Double Shot at Love."

- I'm proof that you can find love on a dating show.

- And I'm living proof that it's more of a / shot.

[laughter]

But although I'm still single, tonight is not about me.

The man you're about to meet

comes all the way from the Bronx.

He's charming, he's tan, he loves to fist pump,

he has a heart of gold, big muscles,

and even bigger teeth. [laughter]

- He once said, "Never fall in love on the Jersey Shore."

Well, we ain't in Jersey no more.

- So please give a warm welcome to the one...

both: The only, the GOAT, Ronnie Magro!

[all cheering]

both: A "Trouble Shot at Love."

- Well, there he is. - Hi, ladies, hi.

all: Hi.

- Look at that smile.

- Aw, he's nervous. - He's nervous, guys.

I'm interested to see Ronnie really get to know a girl.

You need to be able to talk to court a woman.

So I'm excited to see what Ronnie's got.

- He's nervous, ladies.

We finally introduce Ronnie to the girls,

and he says nothing.

- Look at the line, and then say it to them,

and then look again, and say it--

you know what I mean?

- All right, cool.

- Ronnie is so nervous right now,

he can't even read, "Hi, I'm Ronnie Magro,"

off of the piece of paper. [laughs]

- Your name's Ronnie, Ronnie Magro--

- No, I know, this is the first time I've seen these.

- Oh, my God, like, what's happening?

- That says, "Hi." - Yeah, I know, thanks, bro.

- [laughs]

- [muttering]

- Talk, you idiot! - Just throw the card down.

- [muttering]

Hi, ladies, my name is Ronnie.

[laughter]

- That was it?

What were you reading?

- Yo, after all that?

- After all that?

- You should have gave me the cards

before I walked up here.

- Hi, my name's-- [laughs]

- Oh, my Lord!

- God, it's gonna be a long night.

- Speak from the heart.

[laughter]

- I'm done.

both: This is a "Trouble Shot at Love"!

- Whoa! - What the--

- You gotta tell Deena that you invited Angelina.

- Aw, bro, I can't do that.

- Mike's got something to tell you.

- Angeliner's, maybe, showing up very soon.

- Wait. - Angelina's gonna be here.

- Angelina's coming? Are you guys kidding?

[dramatic music]