04x03 - The Double Book

[bunniefuu]

- It's been too long, guys. It's...

Who is that? - Oh!

What the hell? - What the hell?

, man.

I'm single, and Pauly's taken.

What else can happen? - How do we move forward?

We all love getting a house together.

- If she is around,

like, I have to take myself out of the equation.

I can't.

- This is like trying to solve peace in the Middle East.

- I'm still hurt.

I'm actually really hurt right now.

[electronic music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- The Situation is under construction.

- This might not have been the best idea.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

♪ ♪

[hip-hop music]

- ♪ Oh, yeah, show me what you ♪

♪ Yeah, pull up in a party and I'm all one ♪

♪ Ain't no women, and so I gotta call one ♪

♪ Say what's up, tell me what you tryna do ♪

♪ She said, "I was hoping it could be you, hey" ♪

- What else do I need, honey? We got underwears.

- You need socks. - Need sockers.

So it's been nine months since the wedding.

You've been on the east coast and [bleep], so, like,

how are the girls since the last time you saw them?

- Um...they are terrible. - They're adults.

They went up there and did what they did,

and I had a reaction to it, you had a reaction to it.

- Why are we having someone in our little circle

that doesn't give a [bleep] about us?

- And the girls can't even be in the same room as each other.

- I'm too hot-tempered.

I'm just honest. Like, I'll go to jail.

- RSVP is over the beef

between Angeliners and the girls.

- People need to stop talking about this wedding speech.

Jesus. - And then on top of it...

- Who's over this quarantine stuff as much as I am?

- Oh, I kind of miss you all.

- I'm dying for a vacation, man.

- We gotta get the family back together.

- Let's do it. - RSVP assemble.

- "Family Vacation: COVID Edition."

Assemble!

How are we gonna pull this off?

Has she ever tried to call you and hash it out?

- Nope. - No?

- Even when the girls were fighting,

I was the one trying to get them back together.

- "I don't wanna work with her.

I don't wanna work with her."

- Just when I feel that I'm taking,

like, two steps forward, it's like three steps back.

The Mediation is having trouble with the mediation.

I need reinforcements ASAP.

- Like, bro, like, I will-- I'll come out there.

- Ronnie should be here any minute.

- Oh, this shall be interesting.

- Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures.

What's your strategy?

You're just gonna hit them with some truth?

- I didn't really come in with a strategy.

- Well, that's not gonna work out.

Ronnie takes to Deener first.

- Hello! - Hey.

- But Deena pretty much...

- She told me to go [bleep] myself.

- Just left Ronnie in the dust.

- I saw her true colors. - I--I get--

- Especially after it aired.

- No, I get it, but it's also, like--

- It made me realize, like,

I can't have that type of person in my life, you know?

She told me to get out of her [bleep] life.

- Next, Ronnie goes to Jenni's house, okay?

- Is she really not gonna answer this [bleep] door?

- And she put the J in WOWW

and didn't even answer the door for him.

- Not happening, bro.

He looks like he's breaking in.

- Jenni. Jennifer Farley.

- I can't with him.

- And then, finally, Ron goes to Angeliner's house.

- Let's see how this goes. - And it was a disaster.

- No, I'm actually not saying I'm sorry to them

for these things that they tell me about, like, social media.

I can't control other people. [bleep] that [bleep].

- Back to square zero. [dramatic musical sting]

So it seems that the plan

resulted in no progress.

- Oh, man. What a nightmare.

I can't believe we're still dealing with this.

Have everybody come out here, man.

Come to my house. - I'm down.

So RSVP had to pull sort of, like, a Hail Mary.

- How are we gonna do it with the girls?

Like-- - Double book them?

That's where we're at.

- I mean, listen, the girls left us no choice.

This is the oldest trick in the book.

It's called the double book.

- They're gonna be pissed. - [chuckles]

- Ronnie called Angeliners.

- Ann. - Hi.

- Why don't you come to Vegas for the weekend?

- Oh, [bleep]. All right, I'm down.

- Bye. - All right, bye.

- You're gonna [bleep] lose your mind.

- And I texted Deena and Jenni.

The girls were so excited for this vacation...

as long as they didn't have to see each other.

- I can't go on a vacation with that b*tch.

[bleep] her.

- [groans] Oops, sorry.

We're gonna just see what happens.

What could do wrong, guys? Let's wait and see.

- R. - S.

- V! - P!

all: Save the family, COVID edition!

- Um...

Wait, what did I just do? [chuckles]

I don't want them in this house.

I invited everybody to my house.

I think I just [bleep] up.

I've seen what my roommates do to shore houses.

Yo, Nikki.

Ronnie destroys the bathrooms...

- The plunger's not working right now.

- They destroy the kitchen...

[all screaming] - Oh, my God.

- They literally leave behind dead bodies.

- We've done this before.

- I cannot have these chooches messing up my house.

- "How to book a whole hotel."

- We're in the middle of a pandemic.

- Okay.

[tranquil music] - [chuckles]

Chris, can you come here really quick?

I'm definitely looking forward

to my vacation with my roomies.

[dog barks]

No [bleep] way.

- [laughs] - Oh, my God.

- ♪ It's a beautiful day ♪

- And I cannot wait to tell them that I'm pregnant.

- Flower.

- You're gonna be a big brother!

- [hip-hop music]

- ♪ I'ma do like that ♪

♪ Y'all can catch him in the corner asking who got that ♪

♪ Brought the squad and the crew right back ♪

♪ That's what it look like ♪

- All right, ladies. We're going on a road trip.

- ♪ This is what I do ♪

- ♪ bottles of beer on the wall ♪

♪ bottles of beer ♪

♪ Take one down, pass it around ♪

[laughs] Aw, this is fun.

Isn't this so much fun?

I don't know who's coming and who's not,

so I brought a doll of every girl that may not be here.

Come on, Angelina. You can ride in the front.

I need one of you girls to read the map out to me.

Uh-oh. - After I have sex with a guy,

I will rip their heads off.

- Don't worry, girl. I got you.

All right, girls. We're almost there.

Let's get it going.

Everything is so uncertain in the world right now,

so I rented out a whole entire hotel.

I spy with my little eye the resort.

[dramatic musical sting] We're here.

It's epic.

It's big.

And it's empty.

I think you probably park your own car over here.

Hello? Hello?

Does anybody work here?

Uh, you girls wait here while I check out the scene.

Hello? Hello?

Safety first.

Hello? Hello?

Hello? Checking in.

Hello?

[bell dings] Damn.

Hello? I'm checking in for every room.

Maybe check-in's over there.

Hello? Hello?

Now where do I get my keys?

- ♪ So is this what you wanted? ♪

♪ With you on the wall, show me what's up then ♪

- Oh, God! I hit my...

- You hit your head?

- Hey! - What the [bleep]?

He hit his head. Come on, let's go.

- Welcome to Vegas!

- Wow, is this how we're doing it out here?

Between prison

and then being locked down again with COVID...

- Watch your head.

- I am so ready for this vacation.

- Please keep six feet apart.

- How far does Pauly live from here?

- Everything in Vegas is minutes.

[electronic dance music]

♪ ♪

- I rented the whole hotel!

That room's mine, that room's mine, that room's mine.

That room's mine. That room's mine.

They're all mine.

"Jersey Show Family Vacation: COVID Edition."

Take that, !

- Oh, what the? keeps getting weirder.

Who sent you? And weirder.

I have to execute the plan known as the double book.

- So we're not telling Deena that Angelina's coming, right?

- I need a shot. I'm, like, [bleep] going crazy.

I need three shots. - Oh, God.

I hope this isn't a prank.

- All right, Mike. You're gonna suffocate her.

- We need to get this family back together.

- You all right?

- We just hope it doesn't blow up in our face.

- I look like Frankenstein.

[funky music]

- I am the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island.

- Come on, Nicole. Come on!

Work smarter, not harder.

Boom, the gift shop. This isn't gonna work.

So because I'm taking over this entire resort,

I have to make it feel like home.

This is what I'm talking about.

I have to make it feel welcoming to my roommates,

so I'm taking over this gift shop

and I'm making it guido-approved.

Already starting to look better.

[chuckles] ♪ Spiral squad ♪

Okay. These are my top sellers.

Oh, my God. The speech.

Oh, yeah! Wake up, yeah!

Speechgate! Chooch!

[chuckles]

This place looks pretty good now.

Off to the room. [chuckles]

[hip-hop music]

- So I have comfy clothes.

Like, it's only two months, but I feel like

I gained so much weight already with this pregnancy.

Between quarantine and us not being able

to, like, go anywhere,

it'll be nice to get out of the house.

I really am hoping there's no drama on this trip.

I am just done talking about the wedding.

I hope this trip is just the new start.

- Are you a little nervousat all?

- Yeah. [dramatic musical sting]

This mama needs no stress.

If there is any drama,

I'll be walking myself out the door.

The doctor said it's fine,

and...yeah.

- ♪ I'm serious like Jordan ♪

- I have a nice fat a*s. I mean, come on.

- Is that right, Angelina?

Well, I'm glad to see things haven't changed.

Mom? Oh, cool.

Oh, this is huge.

Whoa, this is cool.

Oh, yeah, this is perfect. Here we go.

Oh, this looks like a professional.

This is how you do it professional now, COVID style.

First things first, wash your hands.

All I need now is my family.

Vinny, I want you to feel like you're at home.

I know how much you missed your mom.

And your bread. All right.

Let's hit the pool.

[funky music]

♪ ♪

- Ah.

[line trilling]

Yo, it's so hot out.

[cabaret music]

- I love vacations this time of year.

[music stops]

- Pauly. - It's a COVID vacation.

Open the door, b*tch.

all: Pauly.

- Oh, I thought you guys were criminals

breaking in my house.

- Actually, they are criminals. [laughter]

- Oh, [bleep]. Too soon.

What are you guys doing at my house?

- You told us to come here, you idiot.

- No, you think I want you knuckleheads in my house?

- What the [bleep]?

- I rented an entire resort in Las Vegas.

- What? Are you serious?

- Wow. - We're at your house.

- Let me send you guys the address right now.

Hurry up, though. I'm in the pool.

- Oh, let's make it happen. - Let's try this again.

All right.

- ♪ Where my head has gone ♪

♪ Everybody else asking where the money ♪

♪ [indistinct lyrics] ♪

♪ Ha, we ain't kids no more, more, more ♪

[Huxley Ware's "We Ain't Kids No More"]

- I don't wanna talk about it.

So we're a few days out from flying,

and I chose to get a simple TMJ surgery.

I know it's cutting it close to the vacation,

but they said that I have three days,

I'll be good to go.

But because it's, like, the theme of ,

I got a blood clot

and now I look like Shrek.

[line trilling]

- I look like Frankenstein.

- Hey. - Hey, girl.

- What is on your head?

You look like you got, like, um...

- Like, beat up?

Yeah, I know. - [laughs]

- Yeah, and not in the good plastic surgery way.

Like, this is, like, TMJ,

trying to make my clenched jaw better way.

- Like, how do you feel? - Like grandma.

Like, that fell down a flight of stairs.

- Are you in pain? - Yeah.

My face hurts as much as it, like, actually looks, so...

- Are you gonna be able to come?

- No.

- You're not gonna come?

Look at my face. [dramatic musical sting]

- No. This is weird.

Like, do I even wanna go with just the boys?

I don't wanna be alone with the boys.

[dramatic musical sting]

I know, but I get, like, you can't come.

Like, I get it, but I'm sad.

- [chuckles]

[electronic dance music]

- Dude, this is wild. - There's no humans.

Hello? - Pauly?

- I gotta get ready for my fellas.

I gotta get these girls ready.

Come on. Your hair is messed up.

- Oh, please. - Beautiful.

- Are there workers, or-- I don't understand.

- Hello?

- Sam, how'd your face get so dirty?

Oh. - Stop!

[line trilling] - Yo, yo.

- Bro, are we at the right spot?

- Where are you?

- You went to the address I sent you, right?

- Yeah, but there's no humans here.

- We are right in the middle of a pandemic.

- All right, what's your [bleep] point?

- [laughs]

Room number's .

On your mark, get set, go.

[electronic dance music]

- I'm in a zombie movie.

What the [bleep] are we gonna do here?

- The more hairspray, the better.

I know that. - It's hot.

- We can't find Pauly. - Hello?

- He's not gonna be in the drawer.

I know, but...

- Oh, yeah. You look gorgeous.

- I feel like you're judging. - No, who the [bleep] are you?

- Oh, my God. - Chooch!

- Chooch. - Chooch!

[laughs] [bleep] chooch.

- We'll be at the T-shirt shop. Are we working here?

Are these our jobs? - "Wake up, yeah."

- These are our jobs. - Stop it.

- It's been minutes.

- Pauly! - Come on.

- Ooh, it's getting fancy now.

- Come on! - It smells like hairspray.

all: Aye! - What are you doing?

Yo. - What's up, Pauly?

- What's up, man? - What up, bro?

After minutes of looking for Pauly,

we finally find him.

Same old Pauly. A little different.

Yo, what is this? - You got a new look, bro.

- Yo, I gotta go do some pushups in the corner.

- Bro, where are the [bleep] people?

What's going on?

- Oh, so about that-- - Tell us here everybody at.

- Yo, what is that? What is that?

- Oh, see, about that...

- No, you didn't. - No, you didn't, bro.

Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

- It's guys' weekend, and I didn't want the girl drama,

but I wanted them here, so they're here, there's no drama.

- Is that the Sammi doll? - Ron, stop!

- Oh, my God! - Where's the b*tch?

- You wanna talk about why me? - It's not all about you, Ron!

- Oh, my God.

- Come on, Vin. You literally love me.

- Why me?

- I will cut your hair while you're sleeping.

- Love you. Bye.

- Boys' weekend. COVID edition.

- ♪ Give it all you got, you gon' get it ♪

♪ Don't look back ♪ - Yo, boys' weekend's

gonna be over by the time he's gonna get dressed.

- All right, boys, we ready? - Yeah, let's do this.

I'm starving. - Let's go.

- ♪ You gon' get it ♪

- Pauly, what's there to eat here?

- No one eats here. Seat yourself.

- I don't know if we're gonna be able to get a reservation.

- Do you think there's any open tables?

- Wow. - I'm hungry.

Let's eat. - It's happening.

- There's a gym here too. I gotta check it out.

- Yo, everybody's in [bleep] great shape.

Pauly looks like an ox. Ronnie looks awesome.

And... [laughter]

- Bro, are you...

- Oh! both: Oh!

- Ab check. - What's up, what's up?

- Vinny, anybody could have abs if you weighed pounds

and they could see right through you.

- Are we gonna do an ab off on the day one?

- Oh, my God! - Gonna do a first day ab off?

What type of saltiness is this? - The bitterness.

- Oh, my God. We got a waiter.

- Oh, what the [bleep]?

- Is that a bee keeper? - E.T.?

What the [bleep] is this? - What is that [bleep]?

That's the [bleep] weirdest thing I've ever seen.

- Who sent you?

- I told you guys it'll be safe.

- Good evening. - Are you a robot?

- Wow.

I mean, keeps getting weirder and weirder.

- That is a hazmat suit right there.

- Wow.

Orange we glad we came?

I mean...

Yes, yes.

Let's get two charcuterie plates for the table.

- Hold the COVID. - Yes.

Let's get the chicken saltimbocca, family style.

- Hold the COVID.

- Also, let's get two margarita pizzas for the table.

- Hold the COVID.

- Also, the chicken marsala

over the chef's pasta, family style.

For the table.

- With a side of social distancing.

- And I'm gonna do a side of crab legs for myself.

- Oh, that's just the appetizers, right?

- Yeah, just for Mike.

- Thank you so much. - Thank you.

- It's so weird eating at this restaurant

with no one here, but I'm so excited

to have a boys' weekend before the girls get here.

- Oh, we got fruit. - We got the charcuteries.

- It's like take the calm before the storm.

- I'm glad that Ronnie has finally showed up

after about five, six years.

- Oh, damn.

- Where were you the last two years?

- Hey! - Damn!

Damn! - [chuckles]

- Damn! - You're disturbing the guests.

- Oh, oh, good. - Ronnie and Mike are fighting.

It's officially starting. Vacation's starting.

- I thought we were having chicken for dinner.

It was roast. - Beef.

- Short rib.

- Oh, he just called Ronnie short.

- Oh, [bleep]! [laughter]

- Yo, Ron is thriving in quarantine.

He moved, he got his daughter back.

I see you co-parenting, right? - Yes.

- So is that working out, or what?

- [whines] It depends on the day.

- Mm-hmm. - You know?

And I thought I had to be with her mother

to have a relationship with my daughter.

Then, I realized that I don't have to be with her mother.

- Yeah, you don't have to be.

But your heart was in the right place, like--

- Yeah, his heart is always in the right place.

That's the thing.

- And I actually have a better relationship

with my daughter now than I have ever had.

- We all can tell you're so much happier.

- [coughs] Sorry.

I just coughed in the microphone.

- Oh, my God. Ronnie just hit me in the face.

- Ronnie just coughed all over the table.

- Ronnie, yo, Ronnie just gave me the COVID, son.

What the [bleep]? - Hold the COVID.

[soft techno music]

[line trilling] - Hello?

- Hey, so Jenni just got surgery,

and I guess she won't be able to come with me to Vegas.

I really don't wanna go by myself with the boys,

so I was thinking

maybe we can, like, surprise Mike

and you come with me instead.

- Oh, my God. I love that.

- We're gonna have so much fun.

Start packing, girlfriend. - All right.

Yay, I'm excited.

- Oh, my goodness. I almost popped an ab.

[notification chimes] - You can pop those?

- It's called, like, an ab cramp if you're flexing

for too long and you get, like, a little cramp.

- [chuckles]

- Was that the missus you're speaking to?

- Mm-hmm. - Tell her I said, "What's up?"

- It's probably nice to have someone to come home to, right?

- Oh, it is, it is. - You seem like a happy man.

- I am, I am. - Taken Pauly.

- For me, it couldn't happen at a better time because

tour got taken away from me.

Tour, I had planned, but now Nikki came into my life.

- But it's like one door closed,

but another one opened.

- And I'ma tell you one other thing too is

this time together, we got stronger

and actually made it a real thing.

How crazy is that? - Yeah.

- , what a year.

- But it's good to finally have that bond.

- Well, it was the only thing literally that I was missing.

I had everything else.

All I needed is that person to share it with.

I have somebody to watch shows with

instead of texting you guys about it.

- So Vin, do you think you're ever gonna get

kind of where Pauly's at?

- The problem is, I set the bar so high for him.

He's not gonna find somebody better than me.

[laughter]

I can't take these guys nowhere.

- Oh, my God.

Wow, how did we get here,fellas?

Look around. - Well, this is a weird year.

But I'm glad we still made a vacation happen.

- Yeah, I'm happy to be with you guys.

- Have you been seeing your family and everything, though?

- Not really, bro. - That's what's tough.

- Like, you kind of get used to it, but it's been too long.

- And how's it been for you? - It's been good.

Yeah, we stay busy.

We're also, you know, continuing to try

to start the family, and--

- Baby making appointments. - Baby making appointments.

It's definitely been a tough journey, you know?

I mean, I was in prison for almost a year,

showed everyone the comeback was greater than the setback,

and then, next thing you know, all in the same breath,

like, me and my wife, like, took a setback.

We got pregnant.

- We got pregnant the night he got home.

It was six and half, seven weeks, and I miscarried.

[solemn music]

- Obviously, going through that, it wasn't easy,

but at the end of the day, like,

we just picked each other up

and just kept on moving forward little by little.

- It's actually been shown

that every day is better than every other day.

- Really? - Yeah.

- After the gym, or before the gym?

- I think that's okay. Either way's fine.

- I'm very hopeful that it's gonna happen soon.

- Nice. - Yeah.

- We really needed this.

I mean, the world is a very isolated,

crazy place right now,

and we need our friends and family more than ever.

It's good to be back together.

I have a feeling that [bleep]

is gonna get a little crazier here.

- Salud. - Guys' night.

- Guys' weekend! - Yeah, we're back drinking!

Mike, my cup just touched yours.

- It is so awesome for the boys to have a weekend

before the girls get here

because once the girls shows up,

who knows what's gonna happen?

- When do you ever have a whole hotel to yourself

where nobody complain about anything?

Let's [bleep] this place up!

- I feel that the mediation here

is gonna have to have an explanation

for this particular situation that we're planning right now,

but the girls left us no choice.

- See you! Wouldn't wanna be you!

- I have to go where no man has gone before

and execute the plan known as the double book.

This is, like, our last shot.

- Oh, we're going backwards!

Whoa! Wait--

[laughter]

- ♪ Do it like me, nah ♪

[exciting music]

♪ ♪

- Bro, I got a whole hotel.

I can scream as loud as I want.

Yeah, buddy!

I own this room, I own this room, I own this room,

I own this room, I own this room, I own this room.

- Yo, we got a lot of rooms.

- Ooh, look at this.

- You think they worked their problems out yet, or no?

- I'm not a [bleep] mean girl, Angelina!

- No, I think they're still working on it.

- They won't even look at each other or nothing.

- [sighs] - I just wanna say.

I did some legendary [bleep] tonight.

I had, like, an ab off with The Situation.

- Oh!

[dramatic musical sting] - Wow.

- Bro, are you...

- Oh. both: Oh!

- What's up? What's up?

- Ab check. - Why are you coming at me?

- That's like getting in Floyd Mayweather's face.

- Yeah, undefeated. - Yeah, you looked awesome.

- k*lling him with the kindness.

- But we're just not in the same weight class.

- Oh. - Wow.

- I'll tell you one thing--

those n*pples are another weight class of their own.

- How come your n*pples are c*ck?

They go like this.

- What are you talking about goes this way?

I really don't know why my n*pples are on his mind,

to be honest with you.

I mean, are they on your mind right now?

It's fine. [laughter]

All right, good night, guys. - All right.

- Good night, guys. - Good night, Jenni.

See you in the morning. - Good night, Snooki.

- Uh, are we sharing a bathroom?

- Oh, damn.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Can I take you there? ♪

♪ 'Cause I wanna be with you ♪

- Hi. - Hi.

How are you? - I'm good.

- Hug. Good to see you.

- So are you ready? - I am ready.

- I'm so glad that you're coming with me.

This is the first time Lauren's, like,

truly a part of this family vacation

and I love it.

Lauren is definitely the opposite of Angelina.

When Angelina comes in,

she comes in always wanting to fight somebody.

- Oh, yeah, you think I'm a dirty, little hamster?

We have things that we have to sort out.

all: Oh!

- Hey, that's as*ault. I just got assaulted.

Just--all right. all: Oh!

- Déjà vu, [bleep].

- It's just such a difference,

and it's just so nice.

It really is.

- So how is CJ? - He's good.

- Yeah. - He's like a little ham.

- Are you guys thinking about having a second?

[dramatic musical sting] - Yes.

I love babies. - [laughs]

- [forced laughter]

[dramatic musical sting]

[mischievous music]

[dramatic musical sting]

♪ ♪

I wanna tell Lauren so bad,

but I wanna tell everyone in person,

so I have to just wait.

And what about you guys? How's it going?

- We're still trying. - Good.

- Like, we did every test under the sun

and, like, genetic stuff just to, like, be prepared.

And everything was good, so-- - Good.

That's great. - Yeah.

- I know Lauren's gonna be happy for me.

I just hope that it doesn't, like,

upset them or anything.

- I think it'll be a good trip. - Yeah.

I think it's gonna be a lot of fun.

- It'll be fun. - Positive vibes everywhere.

- Fun family trip. - Yes.

- All right. - ♪ Here comes the morning ♪

- ♪ Yes, it does, yes, it does, yes, it does ♪

- ♪ Gonna take my time and claim what's mine again ♪

- ♪ Just taking my time ♪ - [yawns]

- How did you sleep?

- I always sleep good next to you, babe.

- Yeah, I wasn't even sleeping.

I just stared at you the whole time.

- Aw, that's nice. [notification chimes]

- What the [bleep]?

- Oh, damn.

- What, did she have a C-section on her face?

- It seems like JWOWW has gone in for tooth surgeries

and got a whole new face.

[dramatic musical sting] - Holy [bleep].

- What the hell happened to her face?

- Oh, my God.

I don't know if that's gonna heal in time.

- Yeah.

- Jenni's chin is oozing blood

like a volcano.

It's like Dr. Pimple Popper [bleep].

- Yo, you guys got that?

- What the hell happened to her face?

- Why don't you give her a call, Ron?

[line trilling]

- JWOWW, what's up? It's DJ Pauly D.

- Yo, I saw your face. What the [bleep]?

Call us back. - Yeah, hurry up.

- This girl is really going out of her way

to avoid Angelina.

- She don't want Angelina to recognize her,

so she got a new face.

- No. - Oh, my God.

- Does this mean she's not coming?

- Oh, no, she may definitely not come now.

After Deena finds out that Jenni's not going,

then Deena may not come.

- Oh, I didn't even think of that.

- Call Deener. - Call Deena?

[bleep], I hope she's still coming.

Come on, Deeners.

- Please leave a message after the tone.

- Oh, damn. Deener ain't around?

- What just happened to this vacation?

This is actually insane right now.

Jenni's surgery is messing up everything.

Damn, what do we do now?

Our plans to get the girls here

is about to backfire.

- Actually, first, we gotta do one thing.

- Who got the dolls? Here we go.

- Oh, first aid.

- See if you wanna tape that up.

- Mike, watch her chin, bro. - I got the chin.

- Yeah, but don't grab it. She just got it done.

- Wow, that's accurate. - It looks so good.

- All right, Mike. You're gonna suffocate her.

- Oh--oh, [bleep]. Yo, watch her face.

Jenni, you okay? - You all right?

- "Mm-hmm."

- Damn, Jenni, you got cankles.

- Now that Jenni has had another surgery,

she pretty much looks exactly like the doll Jenni.

They both have the same look on their face,

the same amount of emotion.

I can't tell them apart. - Yo, I got the chin.

- Yeah, but don't grab it. She just got it done.

- Yo, Jenni's new favorite movie is "Jaws."

- Her new favorite movie is "Face/Off."

[laughter]

- TMJ problems!

- Well, we gave Jenni what she wanted.

She didn't wanna be in the same room with Angelina.

- ♪ Yo, let's go ♪

- ♪ I'm a psycho, I do what I like ♪

♪ Yo, I got one loose screw ♪

♪ Better watch your back ♪

- Deena, how's CJ?

I know he's getting big, huh? - It's not all about you, Ron!

- Sick. Hey, Nicole, how are you?

- I need a drink! - I thought you quit.

Nice of you, Nicole, to be together finally.

- Ron, stop!

- Ang, your nipple's hanging out.

- I'm trying to be classy right now.

- All right, girls. See you later.

We'll catch up more.

- Let's go to the gym. - Yeah, let's go to the gym.

Vinny's gonna work out for the first time.

- Oh. [chuckles]

- Maybe you guys can teach me how to lift weights.

- You could teach us how to do cardio.

- Yeah. - ♪ Bring the pain ♪

♪ Bring the pain now ♪ [music stops]

♪ Bring the pain, bring the pain now ♪

- Vinny, where's your leggings?

- ♪ I'm about to bring the pain ♪

- What's up, pussies? - "What's up, pussies?"

Oh, you're all amped up with your jump rope.

[funky music]

- ♪ Working like it's nine-to-five for too long ♪

♪ Wanna get away, wanna grab a breeze ♪

♪ Go on an escapade ♪

- I haven't been out here in, like, a year.

It'll be fun.

- No, yeah. It's gonna be a lot of fun.

I'm just so excited

to get this little vacation started.

You know, hang out with my family

and just enjoy myself.

Do you think Mike's gonna be surprised you're here?

- Yes, he has no idea.

[phone chimes]

- Deena's calling me.

- Hey! - What's up?

We're in the gym. - What's up, Deeners?

- Hey, I just landed.

- Landed? - Yeah.

[tense music]

- We are so confused right now.

Deena's here two days early.

- You joking with us? - You're in Las Vegas?

- Let me see a palm tree. - [chuckles]

- I'm passing mountains.

- Oh, [bleep]. - [bleep] damn.

- Yeah, we didn't think you were serious.

- I told you I was here.

- Mike, what day did you tell them?

- You told them Sunday, right?

[music stops]

- Oh, [bleep].

I'm gonna text Deener and Jenni because they trust me.

I thought I told them Friday. - [bleep] Mike.

I'm like, "I knew we should've had Lauren send the text.

You can't do anything by yourself."

- What do we do? - I don't know.

- Jenni unfortunately isn't coming,

um, but I have a little surprise for you.

[tense music]

- What?

No way! Oh, my God!

- What the? - I'm in Vegas.

- They brought my honeys.

- So Pauly, send us your address.

- It's not Pauly's house, though.

- Oh, God, I hope this isn't a prank.

- Oh, yeah, you're breaking up. Just go to this house.

- I'm gonna give you the address.

- Are you guys screwing with me?

- I can't hear you anymore. What?

Oh, oh. Sorry.

[overlapping chatter] - Bye.

- Oh. - What happened there?

- Are they pranking us?

- Where are we going?

- ♪ Tryna reach another level ♪

♪ I'm not done yet ♪ - Whoo.

- Let's go get something to eat before these girls come over.

- Yeah, we gotta fuel up. I feel like I'm in the Titanic.

Wow.

- It seems like we got the good table today, boys.

It's actually very peaceful out here with you fellas, right?

- Yeah, this is the calm before the storm.

- Deena and Lauren are gonna be here any minute.

Angelina's gonna be here in a couple days.

- Well, hold on 'cause you guys [bleep] the days all up.

When is she really coming? - I told her Sunday.

'Cause you said Sunday. - You said Sunday?

- So we're not telling Deena that Angelina's coming, right?

- I wouldn't say anything to her right now.

She just got here.

- Angelina coming needs to happen.

We need to get this family back together.

I just hope it doesn't blow up in our faces.

- If they bump into each other, that's--

- That's their problem. - Yeah.

[dramatic musical sting]

- ♪ What, what, what ♪

♪ What, what, what, hey ♪

- oh, babe.

- We're never gonna get out of here unless we start cleaning.

- We have to get all the stuff, put it in bins,

throw it in storage.

Then, we can list the house.

- And then, what if we buy a house,

but then we didn't sell our house?

- I don't know. You're thinking too far ahead.

People do it all the time. You think we're the only people

in the world that are moving from one house to another?

- This coronavirus [bleep],

it's [bleep] up everybody's lives,

and I've been, like, locked up in my house for so long.

[bleep] get me out of here. I need a vacation

with, like, a piña colada in my hand at this point

'cause I'm, like, [bleep] going crazy.

I need alcohol. I need a shot.

I need three shots. I need four shots.

I need more than that actually.

- I hope this is not a prank.

- Yeah, where are we going? - I have no idea.

I'm the one that always gets

freaking the pranks put on them.

- I kind of feel bad because I know

that Angelina is coming.

I did not think it was a good plan

when it was happening in my house,

and the last thing I thought

was that I was gonna be stuck in the middle of it.

I'm thinking I need to just break the news

and then they're gonna have to clean up the mess.

- I hope it's, like, a nice vacation.

- If she just walked in and you tell her

her archnemesis is coming in right behind her,

she's going right back out.

She's walking right out.

- [sighs] I'm nervous.

- ♪ La-di-da-di, like whoo, felt up on me like ♪

♪ I dropped out of college to get repped ♪

- I hope this is not a prank. - Yeah, where are we going?

- I'm the one that always gets

freaking the pranks put on them.

I hope it's, like, a nice vacation.

- I hope so too.

Part of me is feeling like I really need to tell Deena

that Angelina is coming, but at the same time,

my husband and the boys' intentions are pure,

so I'm choosing to stay out of it right now.

- I mean, the area looks beautiful.

- So pretty. - Wow, look how pretty.

Where's all the cars?

- I haven't seen a living being yet.

- Is this a prank? Is this closed?

It's weird 'cause there's no one here.

- Let's go inside and see if anyone's here.

- Oh, there's-- I think there's...

- Oh, my God. I spotted the girls.

- Hi, Deena! - Hey!

- Hi, Deeners! Hi, Laurens!

- Welcome, ladies. - Welcome, welcome.

I own this place. - Hi.

How are you doing? - Good.

- Are you surprised? - Mm-hmm.

You look so good. - Oh, listen.

This entire place is rented out.

I rented out the whole place.

There's an extremely skeleton staff.

They've all been COVID tested. They all have hazmat suits.

Like, not playing around. - This is a beautiful hotel.

It's a little weird because there's nobody here

and I don't think I've ever been in this big of a place

that has, like, six people in it.

- Here we are. both: Wow.

- Pauly, you really outdid yourself.

So fancy. - Oh, my goodness.

- What the heck is that? - What's happening in there?

- Stop. Oh, my God.

- Puke-age. Puke-age.

- It's not all about you, Ron!

- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God.

- Can you guess who's who, though?

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

Ew, I feel weird. Wait, why am I one?

I hate these freaking dolls. I hate them.

Who do you have? A guy?

They're creepy as freaking [bleep].

- I'm never filming again. I'm done.

all: Oh. [laughter]

- Jenni's doing a confessional already.

- Jenni's in confessional. - You wanna go in there?

- You guys are sick [bleep].

You guys are all so sick. Sick [bleep].

- Hey, Jenni. I found Deena.

It's her toothache.

[dramatic musical sting]

- Oh, my God. You guys are all so sick.

It kind of looks like her. - It does.

- She's hanging out of her shirt.

[scoffs] Did you just cop a feel?

- You're gonna touch JWOWW right in front of Lauren?

- Stop rubbing her weirdly.

- I'm trying to find out the--the--

- Oh, the button. - The button.

- Oh, Jenni, I'm so happy you made it.

I missed you, girl. - [laughs]

all: Oh!

- There it is!

- "Family Vacation: COVID Edition"!

- Is that your bag? - Yeah.

- You can grab that. This is our room over here.

And Ronnie is in here.

- Wait, so all of you guys stayed in this one suite?

- Mm-hmm.

- Why would you guys, when you have a whole hotel,

would you stay in one suite?

[mischievous music]

- Deena makes a good point.

We should probably get our own rooms.

Why don't we just take this whole floor?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Let's stay close to each other, though,

because I'm gonna get freaked out at night.

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah.

- If I woke up next to that, I'd get freaked out too.

- Wow.

- That saltiness that you have for me

only seasons my sauce.

[funky music]

- Does this place have a pool? - Yes.

- Yes.

- So why don't we have a pool party?

[cheers] - Pool party!

- Party! - Let's go, whoo!

- Damn, let's try these right here.

Deena, you can have this one. - Thank you, Pauly.

- You're welcome.

- Pauly gave me a room with a view.

- I'm super excited

to tell the roommates that I'm pregnant.

I have the cutest way of doing it.

I think they're all gonna be pretty surprised

'cause I haven't even told them, like, we've been trying,

but here we go.

J, I'm pregnant.

"Oh, my God!

I'm so excited!"

She's excited.

All right. Let's go.

[upbeat music]

- It's that way, right?

Ronnie, how do you get in here?

- Push the button on the other side.

Reach around.

You know, like that. - [chuckles]

- Guys, I have presents.

- Oh, okay. - Yeah.

I've never kept a secret from them,

so I think they're definitely gonna be super, super shocked.

Why don't you guys chill and I'll give you the presents?

- Ooh, nice, D.

- So this towel is for Pauly.

Vinny's boyfriend.

- Hey, all right. - [chuckles]

- Towels are the presents? I'm confused.

- This is for Mike. - Aww.

- Oh. - Yes.

- Is this a girl's thing?

- This one is for Vinny. - Hey.

- Okay, like, thanks? [chuckles]

- This one's for Ron. - It's me, Ron Ron.

- Yeah. - Wow, Deena.

Thank you. Such a good present.

[dramatic musical sting] No, it's really not.

[tense music]

- And Lauren, when I made these,

I didn't have one made because--

- Ooh! all: Oh!

- [laughs]

- She said you're not really family.

- No, because Jenni was coming, and you know--

- It's okay. - Okay, okay.

- She said, "You are my second choice

for a trip out here."

- I'm really excited to tell the roommates

about my pregnancy, but I am a little nervous

that, like, it might upset Lauren and Mike.

I know that they had their rough patch,

but I really wanna, like, tell them like,

"Guys, there's another member to the family."

And I just hope that they're excited.

- Give her Nicole's blanket. - And then, I have one more.

- [chuckles]

- Don't look yet!

Are you ready?

[exciting music]

- What? - Oh, my God!

- What? - Deena, what?

- Stop it! - What?

- Yeah, I'm pregnant. - Oh, my God!

- What the hell? - Holy [bleep].

Now everything makes sense.

The stupid towels she just handed out,

why she's been more emotional lately.

- Do you know how hard it was for me not to tell you guys?

- Let's face it--she's an emotional meatball.

This is the first real surprise.

- Yay!

- I'm trying to think of a group hug,

but can we do that with COVID?

[dramatic musical sting]

- We all tested negative. - We're in the bubble.

- Yeah, we're all negative. - We're all in the bubble.

- Group hug.

- We can come in here for the hug, right?

- Yay! [cheers]

- Deena's pregnant! [cheers]

- Let's have a drink. - Yes.

[upbeat music]

- Christopher!

This is a [bleep] disaster.

I can't even [bleep] get to the door.

I mean, like, I can't.

Do you see this [bleep] garage?

People will [bleep] think that we were hoarders.

Christopher!

Is this [bleep] normal? Christopher.

Christopher, whose bed is that?

Siding, insulation, your toolbox.

There's your [bleep]-- your wet vac.

Your bed, your bed frame.

A [bleep] flatscreen TV under all of this [bleep].

Mice, rats. Christopher.

Are you even listening?

This is [bleep] Bad News Bears.

No, do not--no, no, no, no.

You're gonna take it off the track.

- ♪ Welcome to the wild side ♪

♪ To the wild side ♪

♪ If you ready, come and visit us ♪

♪ On the wild side ♪

- Deena's pregnant, and I'm gonna tell everybody here.

- ♪ On the wild side ♪

- Oh, it's just us.

[chuckles]

- CJ is convinced it's a girl.

Now he, like, comes over to my belly

and he gives a kiss.

He goes, "Baby. Baby."

- Aw. - That's so cute.

Well, if you need any help with the breastfeeding,

Mike got you.

[laughter] - Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. - That was a good one.

- I guess this is what happens during a boys' weekend.

- It's so fun.

You get to eat whatever you want now.

- Yes. - Just like you, Mike.

- I mean, they're honestly like little children.

[chuckles]

- What you say about me says more about you

than it says about me.

- Yup. - All right, so I like snacks.

- [chuckles] - Whoa.

- The waiter. - The waiter.

- What the [bleep] is going on?

- Burgers for the boys and girls.

- Where are we?

- This place is so freaking weird.

- I want one. Then I can go anywhere.

- Wow, this is awesome.

- Guys, don't make a gif out of this.

- [laughs]

- I wanna, like, see the grounds.

- Yeah, let's go. - Let's go look.

- Yeah. - Let's go explore.

- I'm gonna take the ladies. I'll be back, fellas.

- You wanna get in the pool? - Okay.

- Yeah, show us the grounds, Mike.

- Good for her. That's all she ever wanted.

- I can't believe you kept a secret from us.

It really breaks my heart

that Mike and Lauren have been trying so hard

and, you know, they haven't gotten pregnant yet.

I wanted to do it in person and--

- Aw, it's so nice. - [chuckles]

- You know, we faced a lot of challenges

these past, you know, years

in our family, and with us as well.

And this is a win for all of us.

- Yeah. - Yeah, thank you, guys.

And, like, I pray for you guys all the time.

You know, it's always scary being pregnant

and, like, trying to get pregnant.

It's just-- - It is--it was.

- It's always in God's hands.

- Mike and I have been trying for a little bit

and we've had some hard times,

but that doesn't take away at all

from my happiness for my loved ones.

- All right, come on. Let's go back.

- Yeah. - Yeah, I love you.

- I love you too. - Oh, my God, hold hands.

- Hold hands. - Hold hands, yay.

- I wonder where Deena's head is at now that she's pregnant.

- Yeah. - I feel bad now.

It's like everything gotta be extra delicate.

- Wow, look who it is.

- Like, a couple months ago when we talked

about, like, the Angelina stuff,

like, I knew I was pregnant, and, like, that's one

of the big reasons why I don't wanna sit down with her.

[tense music]

I don't wanna stress myself out.

- No, we're definitely not going down that road.

[dramatic musical sting]

- [bleep], what are we gonna do?

- So I think it's just, like, better off

until, you know, a later date.

♪ ♪

- Christopher!

- Shut the [bleep] up! - Yo.

- I don't wanna put myself in any stressful situations,

especially since I'm so early on.

- We were worried about Deena getting emotional

with Angelina, but now,

Angelina coming into contact with a pregnant Deena...

- Christopher, get out of the way.

Oh, my God. - We're [bleep].

- And that's that. [chuckles]

- We need to find you a girl.

- Ronnie got single for the first time

in a middle of a pandemic.

- We're gonna put you on a dating show.

- I'm Vinny.

- And I'm DJ Pauly D.

- We have the perfect girls here...

- To meet... - The perfect bachelor.

both: Ronnie Magro.

- Welcome to... both: "A Trouble Shot at Love."

- ♪ Hey ♪ - Yeah, buddy!

♪ ♪