03x11 - Last Night Is Canceled

[bunniefuu]

- You're trying to be grimy now.

- Grimy? Grimy?

- I don't even know what is going on right now.

- [bleep] her! She's so [bleep] fake!

I'm going home. - No, you're not, Nicole.

She's getting involved in drama

she shouldn't have gotten involved in...

- She's [bleep] fake as [bleep]!

- And this is what you get.

- Nicole... - I wanna go. Leave me alone.

Everyone, leave me alone! Stop talking to me!

Stop talking to me!

[upbeat electronic music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- "The Situation" is under construction.

- This might not have been the best idea.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- ♪ Here I come ♪

- ♪ Do not speak the truth ♪

♪ That bounce, bounce you cannot sell me ♪

- I didn't leave my two-month-old son

to be called a [bleep] mean girl.

[bleep] this [bleep] b*tch. She can't be talked to.

She cannot be talked to. I'm leaving.

No, I wanna go. Leave me alone. Everyone, leave me alone!

- I don't even know where she is.

- I'm leaving!

♪ ♪

- [sighs] This is why I'm a stripper.

- Where's Nicole? - She left already.

What a disaster.

- Nicole has taken off in a cab, and I'm like,

"All right, there's no getting Nicole back this time.

She's definitely going home."

- That didn't go the way I planned it.

This is crazy.

The drama between Jenni and Angelina just exploded...

- Get that [bleep] finger out of my [bleep] face.

- And then Nicole stormed off.

- You said, "This is the last time I tell you how you--"

- Because you were like, "You weren't even there."

You're being mean to me.

- Because you weren't there, Nicole.

- Like, I knew it was gonna pop off.

I just didn't know it was gonna pop off like this.

- I'm the worst person here, I know.

- No, stop it, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Some family vacation.

- I'm not saying one more word. I'm done.

- Until someone wants to talk civilly,

you say, "All right, I guess I can't talk to you."

- I'm not, I'm not talking anymore.

- I'm saying, you can have conversations with people...

- I'm not anymore. - When they do it normally.

- She comes sitting down--

she comes sitting down and talking about this anymore,

my off switch is off.

- [chuckles] - My on switch is off.

[light string music]

These girls are just very catty

and very hard to get along with sometimes,

and it's [bleep] annoying at this point.

Like, I'm always getting yelled at,

and I'm so sick and tired of it, I really am.

- [bleep]. Well...

- Goodnight, you bunch of chooches.

- Pleasure. Can't wait to have another [bleep] day

with you guys tomorrow.

- That argument wasn't keto, my bro.

- Yo, what is going on?

- We're over here, trying to live our best life,

you know what I'm saying?

I was happy to have a reunion. We're out here in Jersey.

We got a shore house. We're moving on up.

This is an expensive house, so we're trying to live lavish.

I knew it was gonna pop off, but not like this.

This is not over yet.

Like, I swear this is just the beginning...

- Yeah. - 'Cause nothing got hashed out.

- Toodles.

- There's one thing you can always count on with us...

both: There's drama.

- It's the same [bleep] over and over again.

"Jewish Barbie, who wrote the note,

automatic door-shutters."

Well, that all has to do with Ronnie,

but still, there's...

- [laughs] - Still always drama.

- This doesn't matter. None of this matters.

After that big expl*si*n, I don't wanna deal with anymore.

[slow hip-hop music]

I'm like, "All right, finally peace and quiet."

♪ ♪

- What happened tonight?

- [bleep] k*ll me.

- You did completely opposite

of what we talked about in the car.

- They also did.

- You started it. - No, no.

- You did.

[soft solemn music]

You don't listen to me.

Everything I tell you,

you [bleep] throw it out the window.

- I don't have to listen to you. I'm my own person.

- But then how am I supposed to have your back

when you don't?

Next time, I'm just gonna tell Angelina

to do complete opposite of what I really think she's gonna do.

"Do it drunk in front of everyone,"

and then she's gonna go sober and talk to Jenni.

- If you ever find it in your heart to put yourself

in my position for one minute,

you'd understand how I feel.

- Listen, I came in this house,

nobody knowing me,

and I [bleep] came in hot.

I'm your new roommate.

Yeah, I made a blast in a glass.

I'm in my bikini, like this...

- Uh-huh.

- Anxious to have a good time.

- Oh, wow--really?

- I [bleep] did what I did... - Mm-hmm.

- And then I apologized, all right?

And then they all accepted me.

I'm a part of the family.

- I don't have to apologize anymore.

- All right, I'm not asking you to...

- I didn't do anything wrong.

- But you can't expect me to have your back with this.

That's not fair to me.

I'm between you two,

because I like you as a person...

- Okay. - But those are my best friends.

- There's a common denominator in all this, and that is Jenni.

The girls do not treat me like this

when Jenni is not around.

Let's talk about this tomorrow when we're all sober.

- I am so [bleep] done with this.

- Same.

I mean, on one aspect of it,

she's giving me a lot of nice advice,

but then on the other aspect of it, it's like,

"Why don't you have my back in this?"

[Mucho Dinero's "That's All I Know"]

- I'm, like, so done with all of this.

I'm tired, and I'm just gonna go to sleep.

It's, like, exhausting. I [bleep] can't.

Hopefully in the morning,

things can go a little more civilized.

- ♪ That's all I know ♪

♪ That's all I know ♪

♪ ♪

♪ That's all I know ♪

♪ Hey, all you--all you-- ♪

♪ That's all I know ♪

♪ ♪

- Good morning.

[bleep] went down yesterday,

and we don't know what is gonna happen today.

Will Nicole come back?

Will Angelina and Jenni be friends?

Will there be another w*r? We don't know.

One thing's for sure, though...

- We're going to the gym.

What do strippers work out, their p*nis?

Do strippers work out with their clothes on or off?

It was just a question.

[light hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

- So, let's get it.

♪ ♪

- Don't think I've been to the gym

with you guys in a minute, huh?

- No.

- We haven't GTL'd in a minute.

- We gotta go train for that w*r tonight, though.

- Yeah, there's gonna be a w*r tonight.

We gotta be in shape.

- The guys are going to the gym to get a workout in,

but also prepare for battle.

Knowing these girls, the beef is never really over.

It is gonna be World w*r Three.

The craziest part about all this?

It started over a nipple piercing...

- Do you still lift weights?

- Like all great wars do.

- ♪ Hustle, grind made muscle ♪

♪ Everything I learned, man, I earned in this struggle ♪

- I did shave my chest, in case you call me onstage.

Is that for the lap dances?

- Stop.

Stop. - [laughs]

You wanna practice on this pole?

- Which one? - This one.

- Let me get my glasses, hold on.

- [laughs]

- Mm. Good morning.

I am [bleep] hungover.

- Same.

- Last night was fun.

How much do you commit to a lie?

[yelling, screaming]

It was great to see my roommates.

[overlapping chatter] - What are you talking about?

Everybody's [bleep] is out there.

If I put my [bleep] out there...

- So many laughs...

- [bleep] off, I'm not that person!

- Pleasantries.

[bleep] my [bleep] [bleep].

Might've got a little upset...

Put that [bleep] finger in my [bleep] face again.

- All right, enough.

- See what the [bleep] happens.

Might've almost threw a wine bottle.

[overlapping chatter]

It was a good night.

- [bleep] this [bleep] b*tch. She can't be talked to.

- [sighs] What goes on at the Jersey Shore.

[sighs] Hi.

[sighs] [bleep].

I don't even know where to begin with last night.

- I don't either.

- Did I look crazy?

- I think everybody looked pretty crazy. [laughs]

I think everyone looked bad.[laughs]

- Did I look angry?

- Yes.

- Classic Italian family, where you just kind of

burst in under the rug, and just ignore the fact

that, like, the aunt and uncle are fighting.

[chuckles] I don't know. - Yeah.

- Did I get bigger yet? How about now?

Yep.

You get bigger every sip.

I'm glad we got that in, though,

get ready for this w*r we finna have back home.

- I don't even know why Nicole is so mad, honestly.

Jenni and Angelina were fighting,

and all of a sudden, Nicole was like, "I'm leaving!"

- "I'm leaving! I'm not here for this!"

Nicole is just always like, "I just had a baby.

I have postpartum."

And it's like, "No, Nicole, you have FOMO.

"You like to be involved in drama.

You're a guidette."

Are they gonna be fine today?

Are they not gonna be fine today?

'Cause they have a habit of doing [bleep],

and then waking up the next day and acting like nothing happens.

You know, they wanna blame the alcohol.

- Well, that's the question of the day:

Is it gonna still spill over or not?

Is there still gonna be beef or not?

[tense hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

- Last night was not the sit-down I ever envisioned.

Everything just turned so bad and so ugly so fast.

There's a lot of things that are just

not settled yet in the air, I feel.

I mean, I still haven't gotten

to the bottom of who said these things,

I still haven't gotten to the bottom of

why these things were said about me,

and I wanna know.

So, since us three are all here,

I just wanna talk to you.

♪ ♪

- I'm like, "You gotta be [bleep] kidding me.

"You wanna start this now? We can do that.

So, let's go."

♪ ♪

- Did your boyfriend tell you that I tried to kiss him?

- Yes. I was pissed.

I was really pissed.

- When I read those text messages,

I felt like you were attacking--

- Stop being [bleep] stupid.

Angelina surrounds herself with drama.

That's just who she is.

- You think you can still be cool, though?

- Yeah. What am I gonna do?

I'm gonna argue with a narcissistic person

that always thinks she's right?

You always tell people to own their [bleep].

Own your [bleep].

And just [bleep] own it, and then, that's it.

- I think we have a way to see if she has her nipple pierced.

[yelling, screaming]

[upbeat hip-hop music]

- Vinny's a stripper!

In case you were wondering, strippers do work out,

'cause I just saw him.

Look at Ronnie's back.

That's all he works out.

He does his back three times a week.

- We're gonna head back to the house

to the chaos and the craziness.

So excited.

- I don't know what it's gonna be like in there.

Those girls are hotheads.

We all are, except for Vinny. - Yeah.

[light hip-hop music]

- So, since us three are all here,

I just wanna talk to you.

♪ ♪

I'm sorry that last night didn't go

the way that I envisioned it.

I was angry. We're all angry.

I think that this story has been going on for--

it's, like, a huge thing that just, like, had to get out,

and then it finally friggin' expl*si*n last night.

And I just wanted to get down to the bottom of it.

Like, did your boyfriend tell you that I tried to kiss him?

- Yes.

- That I did? - Yeah.

- But why would he...

- I was pissed. I was really pissed.

"Now she kissed him, now it's gonna be a fight,

"and now it's gonna turn into a fight with me,

"and now it's just going to snowball.

"And now she's trying to turn it on him

to make him look bad, and talk about grabbing."

I don't give a [bleep].

He grabbed--I'm not gonna be mad that he--

even if he, like, [bleep] hugged you or whatever.

I remember the first time I started dating Roger.

He was taking shots off Deena. - Oh, yeah.

- Like, I don't give a [bleep] about any of that [bleep].

- We were wild back then. - Yeah.

So, I feel like you're trying to make it a--

like, a bigger thing than it is.

And then, you have this,

to me, an innocent bystander, just like Chris is,

like, that's gonna take the heat of it.

- Yeah, but in the morning, me and Vinny were on the couch,

and he brought it up to me.

[tense music]

He goes, "Yeah, I saw what happened last night."

Vinny brought it up to me...

- Yeah, Vinny brought it up to me.

- And I wasn't gonna bring up anything.

- About the touching? - Yeah.

I wasn't gonna say anything.

- Yeah, and Zack even replayed--

he goes, "Yeah, it was like this." Like, he goes--

[tense hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

- Whoa.

♪ ♪

- So, when Vinny brought it up, I was like,

"Okay, so, I'm not crazy."

Like, I wasn't-- I wasn't that drunk.

I was not--you were drunker than me.

Like, let's be realistic. You were wasted, I don't know.

But I just didn't feel like that was appropriate.

♪ ♪

Then after that, you flipped out on me

for things that I know were not true.

- Who knows, maybe you were drunk, and you were, like,

trying to, like, give him a kiss on the cheek.

- Listen, we could all go around like a hamster wheel,

all around and around, about what really happened,

but the only thing we can figure it out is when it comes out.

That's--that's the only thing that I could say.

- So, what happens if it really is true?

- If it was really true, if it really comes out that it's true,

then that's my-- that's my own bad.

But I know it isn't true,

and that's why I'm upset, you know?

It just all just got out of control.

- No.

- The conversation is actually going really well.

They're sober.

They're both able to kinda get each other's points

and discuss things like civil human beings.

This is fantastic. No one's yelling.

- I just thought that

it was trying to be made into something,

and make him look bad,

and that's where I don't-- that's where I become a mom,

and I wanna protect the people that I care about, because...

- That's fair enough.

- You know what I mean? - No, %.

Maybe I came about it a little bit wrong,

but I'm not trying to make anybody look bad.

I just don't--I don't want anymore of this,

so, let's try to turn over a new leaf

and move on from the situation.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Destroyer ♪

♪ Coming in ♪

- I appreciate the fact

that she's trying to, like, olive-branch it.

I'm tired of fighting with her all the time.

She's sorry, and I'm sorry,

and I'm ready to move on.

- This was a good conversation, guys.

This was how it should've been.[laughs]

- Is this what you were referring to yesterday...

- Yeah, this is what I wanted... - On the way--okay.

- A sober conversation.

- I think we should all give each other a big hug now.

- Yay.

- The dust has settled.

Me and Jenni finally had our talk.

But still, I really do feel like,

in this whole entire thing, she was wrong.

But, of course, I have to be civil here.

Me and Jenni were literally holding bottles

up at each other last night.

Now we're hugging.

Kids, that means anything is possible in life.

At the end of the day, it's not that bad.

Right, Jenni? - [laughs] Jenni.

- Sometimes, I bring on my own stuff to myself.

- Good for you, owning it.[laughs]

- Yes, b*tch. - Good for you.

- ♪ And they ain't gonna stop us now ♪

♪ Feel our feet stomping on the ground ♪

♪ We were created from the ruins, ruins, ruins ♪

♪ We were created from the ruins, ruins, ruins ♪

- I have no idea what to expect.

Roommates?

I'm curious to see what's going on

with our crazy female roommates.

I wonder what strippers eat for snacks.

♪ ♪

- Budussy.

- I'm waiting for some updates.

- Everything went good.

I was like--you know, I--

Right? Everything went good?

- Yeah, it was a good conversation.

- You guys squashed it? - We squashed it.

We hugged it out at the end.

Right? - Well, that's good.

They squashed it. - Yeah.

- I'm glad the girls hashed it out.

I don't ever wanna hear about this kiss with "" anymore.

But somehow, we still have another issue...

Where is Nicole?

Nicole is still missing.

Where's the other half of Snook-WOWW?

- [whimpers]

I feel so bad, because, like,

my best friend got involved in an argument

that she shouldn't have for me,

and she left really upset.

I just want my meatball back.

[Jonathan Murrill's "Outta My Mind"]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Take me outta my mind ♪

- Ooh, [bleep].

Honestly, last night was [bleep] crazy pants.

I'm back...

What up, homie?

But, like, please no drama today.

Who missed me?

♪ ♪

[SHIPS & Brickwork Blue's "Heart Attack"]

♪ ♪

- Ooh, [bleep].

So, waking up this morning, I'm just--I feel embarrassed.

I feel like a piece of [bleep].

But, like, I just couldn't be in that hostile environment.

Like, I'm sorry if I made anybody worried

or I upset anybody,

but [bleep] happens.

What up, homie?

- Oh! - Thank God.

- Oh, my God, look at the mom visor. I love it.

- I'm back, you guys.

- Hi. - Thank you.

- Who missed me? - All of us.

- Last night was a lot of fun, you guys.

I'm really hoping that Angelina and Jenni cooled off

and they were able to talk their [bleep] out and get over it.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Are you all right?

- I'm fine. - [chuckles] Awkward.

It's weird. - I'm like, "Hi."

- I mean, we'll talk later, but...

- Yes, please, I would like that.

- Have a private conversation.

- Me and Jenni just had our discussion, so that's done with.

- They hashed their [bleep] out, so I'm like,

"Great, that's awesome, but we have to talk later.

"Like, we need to get our [bleep] resolved also,

because it's a totally different thing."

You guys, I just had a baby two months ago,

and my postpartum hormones are crazy, so...

- I get that.

- Judging by the way Nicole acted last night,

I'm thinking postpartum hormones are slurring your words...

- So, that's your "prerogartive," great.

- Yelling, raising your voice...

- I'm not a [bleep] mean girl, Angelina!

- Storming off. - This [bleep] b*tch.

She can't be talked to.

She cannot be talked to. I'm leaving.

- Those are all the side effects. [chuckles]

- Here's to a disaster to last night.

- Cheers to the first night. - [laughs]

- Oh, boy.

- Well, I'm starving. - Me too.

- Can we go to Jenks and eat or something?

- Yeah, let's go hit this. - Boardwalk!

- Today's gonna be a reset. - Yeah, cancel last night.

- Erase. - Cancel last night.

- Let's go hit the boardwalk! - Cancel culture.

- Yay, rides and drinks! - Meatball day!

- Yes! - Boardwalk!

- ♪ Now wassup? Wassup? Wassup? Wassup? ♪

♪ Wassup? Wassup? ♪

- I hope the wind doesn't blow Vinny away.

We should put a string on him.

Hormones, no hormones,

I'm just glad that everybody's back.

We're moving on, and we can have some fun on the boardwalk.

I don't know what's whiter, Vinny or Ronnie's teeth.

[laughter]

[Hannibal Leq's "Wassup"]

Do you guys have stripper seating?

He's a stripper, a male stripper.

- Jenks is legendary for us,

because we've been here so many times.

I'm gonna get some drinks and eat a nice food.

I wanna enjoy the Shore for today

without any drama.

- Yes. - Thank you.

- Do they have air?

- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

- Go home.

- I'm a little hungover. - I'm wrecked.

- I am. - Yeah.

- We're just deleting last night, right?

- No, cancel all of it. It didn't happen.

I have a lot of regrets, so... - Same.

- I waxed my [bleep]hole, like, a couple weeks ago.

- You waxed your [bleep]hole? - Yeah.

It hurt so bad.

- What position did you have to be in for that?

- That's what I asked. - You lay on your stomach.

- With your butt up? - Yeah.

- And he had dingleberries.

- Why'd you do that?

- Because I wanted it to be shaven, and I--

- Yeah, but nobody sees in-between your a*s, so...

- Well, yeah, a lot of people. [chuckles]

[light instrumental music]

But I regret it, 'cause it hurt so bad.

- It hurts? I never got that done.

- Ah, it's the worst.

- What the [bleep] is wrong with you?

Like, why would you even do that?

Vinny sometimes does not think.

- Do you wanna have our talk? - Sure.

- So, I feel like right now is the time

to have a talk with Angelina,

because I just wanna, like, hash it out and move on.

All right, I just wanted to talk with you,

because I'm a drunk b*tch that sometimes blacks out,

and I don't know what I do.

My intention was to text you to be like,

"Listen, you were drunk, you might've did this."

- That's why--next time, just call me

if you feel like that, because...

- I don't call people.

- Text messages can be misconstrued,

like--like--like ours was.

- Well, yeah, it definitely backfired.

- "Yo, what the [bleep] happened in Vegas.

"I'm hearing you're trying to kiss Zack

and ask him for a threesome and [bleep]?"

When I read those text messages,

I felt like you were attacking a little bit.

- Because you said, "You weren't even there."

And to me, I was like, I'm trying to look out for you.

And so I got annoyed that I was trying to reach out to you,

when you were like, "You weren't even there, shut up."

That's how I took it. - That's not how I meant it.

- Honestly, I feel bad for Angelina,

but, like, I'm not trying to be mean.

I really like the [bleep] girl.

I literally was just trying to help a girl out.

- But I just feel like, you know,

you gotta put yourself in my shoes sometimes.

Yeah, I get drunk, I do stupid [bleep],

but that's just my nature, that's just who I am,

and I'm not a bad person.

I know you don't think I'm a bad person.

- I get drunk and do stupid [bleep] too.

- Exactly, that's why me and you actually--

we're like the same person but different, right, like...

- Yes, the same person, but different.

But the fact that I'm so dramatic about it,

it's because I care.

I want you to know that I like you.

- Thank you, I appreciate that. I like you too.

- Stop being [bleep] stupid. - I love you. [chuckles]

- You're stupid. - Give me a hug.

- I mean, I'm [bleep] over me and Angelina drama.

Like, I'm so glad we had our talk.

I feel like we're good...

- I love you.

- But Angelina surrounds herself with drama.

That's just who she is.

So, we'll see.

Like, girl, please just be normal now.

Stop it. - Ooh.

I just walked into the [bleep]--

I just walked into the surfboard.

[chuckles] That [bleep] hurt.

♪ ♪

- ♪ 'Cause I'm set in my ways ♪

- Life is a beach. I'm just playing in the sand.

- Come on.

So, we're good now. Don't worry.

- Angel, you were far from an angel last night.

- Alcohol was speaking.

- In the middle of the fight,

it had nothing to do with Ronnie, nothing,

you guys were at it--you guys were all it over there--

she's like, "I love this man!"

[laughter] "Everybody, I love this man!"

- Ron is my [bleep] true friend here!

He's the only one that treated me with respect here!

So, go at Ronnie, and don't go at me!

- "Out of everybody, I love this man!"

- Cheated again!

- Angelina, do you do rides? - I'll do rides.

- Deeners? - Yeah, I'm down.

- So, now that we're all hopped up on [bleep]

and Sangria and sushi,

it's the perfect time to go on boardwalk rides,

'cause that's what you do...

after sushi and [bleep] Sangria.

You go on rides. - Let's go.

- ♪ Dying to be ♪

♪ A reflection of the person that you're seeing in me ♪

♪ Like I was born on the moon ♪

♪ But I'm conceived by the sea ♪

- Fun ride.

- Pauly's paying!

- That way to the right here.

- Feels nice to be back on a boardwalk.

- Yeah - It does.

- Jenni, here's yours over here! ""!

- [laughs] - See ya!

- Oh, my--[screams] - Ah!

- Let's get Angelina! - [screams]

- Why am I going backwards?

- Cabs are here. - Look it, cab there.

- Vinny, you fell on this.

- I hate this ride.

- Whoo!

Finally, there's no weird tension.

No drama. Just good old family fun.

Just like old times.

[FOE's "Party"]

♪ ♪

We're gonna die.

[yelling, screaming]

- [laughs]

- Oh, this one's gonna be lit.

- I'm sitting this one out. - Jenni's going on it.

- Jenni! - You have to.

Jenni's going on it. - Nah.

- I didn't agree.

- You're gonna ruin your day. - No, she loves it.

- I'm about to pass out, I'm about to pass-

your glasses are gonna fall.

I can't breathe, and I start profusely sweating.

Now I'm fully regretting the pounds of

[bleep] Sangria and sushi.

Please don't fall out. - Oh, my God.

- I feel like I'm watching my kids.

Hold on tight!

- Nicole! If you die, can I have your mom van?

- Yeah!

- That's how it's done!

Yeah!

- Whoo! [yelling, laughter]

- ♪ Call it a day, call it a day ♪

- I'm done. I'm done.

I'm literally on the [bleep] thing,

tapping out, being like, "Get me the [bleep] off this ride."

[screaming, laughter]

- Oh, yes. - Whoo!

[yelling]

- [screams] Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God! - Whoo!

- I'm glad I didn't eat that ice cream.

- I'm done, I'm done. Make it stop.

- May be a bad idea that we did this,

and Jenni's finding out the hard way.

I need a wellness check on Jenni.

- I normally don't even puke,

but I am [bleep] done.

Ooh, I am--

where is the bathroom?

- Weak stomach.

- Wait, I'm not ready!

I'm not ready. I'm not ready. - Wheeh--oh--oh...

I regret this already... - I'm not ready...

- I regret this. - I'm not ready.

- Oh, my God. Going to puke.

- Oh, God. - Oh!

- Holy Moby! - Whoa!

- Holy Moby!

- [hurls, coughs]

[groans]

- Yo, Moby's D got me spinning, bro,

- Yup.

[laughter]

- [coughs] I just puked everywhere.

I'm dying, I'm dead.

I'm old. Put me away. It's over.

I actually puked. - No, you--

- I figured, and I was gonna follow you.

- I got Snooki juice all over me!

- You were like, "I'm going on it."

I'm like, "You're gonna [bleep] up your day."

- Yo, Moby's D, bro?

- We're tired from riding this [bleep], though.

We're gonna go play basketball. [laughter]

- There's so many jokes I wanna say,

but it's a family park!

What's up? How you doing?

- Jenni, will you go on the spaceship?

- Oh, are you crazy? She just threw up.

- You can't hang, girl.

- I hate you guys, bag of [bleep] dicks.

[hip-hop music]

- You want me to stay with you? - I need it to stop spinning.

- They're gonna get you "drah-ma"--"drah-ma-mine"?

- Dramamine. - Dramamine.

- Oh, you about to get dusted.

- All right, best out of, uh, five shots.

- All right. Winner gets Zack a prize.

- All right. - I'm king of the boardwalk.

When it comes to basketball, that's my game,

and I always beat him...

[smooth electronic music]

- Oh!

- And he always gets sad and mad,

and he wants to cry and have a fit.

- I have to do it off one foot.

[both groan] - That sucks.

Little room for the sh**ter. Little room for the sh**ter.

- He's got too much tricep, bro.

♪ ♪

- That's what I'm talking about, baby!

That's what I'm talking about, baby!

Oh, that's off!

♪ ♪

- That's what I'm talking about, baby!

That's what I'm talking about, baby!

- ♪ Catch me going in a brand-new ride ♪

- That's what I'm talking about, baby!

Ah... [yelling, cheering]

♪ ♪

That's off.

That's off.

- ♪ Top down and I'm flying like vroom ♪

[yelling, cheering]

That's what I'm talking about, baby!

That's what I'm talking about, baby!

Whoo! This is mine? - There you go.

- I'm the winner? I'm the winner?

[bleep]! This is the best day of my life.

Basketball champion! Once again.

Feels like the olden days, back on the boardwalk.

Winning games.

- Doing these rides and games and [bleep],

it makes me miss Mike, 'cause...

- I know. - It's not the same without him.

- He's always so funny when he does everything.

- I know.

Your sister.

- You gotta hit three in a row? - Yeah, buddy.

- I gotta go again for the bike, though.

- Yo, how are we gonna explain this to Vinny?

- Tell him I bought you a birthday gift.

- And when he gets his foods...

Mike, he don't care about nothing but the cake, he good.

- [yells] - Man, that smells so good.

- We've never been to the boardwalk without him.

- I know.

- Even when we went last year to Seaside, he was there.

- Ah!

- Hey! - Hey!

- Hey, boys!

- Not to have Mike with us is weird.

We just really miss him, and it just--it sucks.

♪ ♪

- Thanks, I won it.

I'm a winner.

Everybody looks mighty jealous of my bear.

- [chuckles]

♪ ♪

- Did you and Jenni smooth things over?

- What am I gonna do?

I'm gonna argue with a narcissistic person

that always thinks she's right?

[yelling] - Shut up.

[screaming, yelling]

[laughter]

- ♪ I'm feeling good, I'm feeling right ♪

♪ Aviator status ♪

♪ We ain't have to book a flight ♪

♪ We outta here, out, out, we outta here ♪

♪ Grab your bag and your purse ♪

♪ We outta here ♪

- Pauly, how you making that on the plane?

- I know. I'm gonna give it to one of these little kids.

- Awesome.

- Would you like this little bear?

There you go. - Aww...

- Thank you.

- I love that. - He said "little bear."

- [laughs]

- ♪ Nights that I can't remember ♪

- ♪ With the people that I can't forget ♪

- It smells a little stale in here.

- [chuckles] - Oh, [bleep].

- God, I have no makeup on.

I look like a troll.

I can't get Botox, because I'm nursing,

and I see my lines, and I hate it...

- Look at these lines. - I hate it.

- Look at all this.

- I got this stuff in my jaw over here,

like, for, like--'cause I have, like, a really strong muscle--

it's on this side--so she put more on this side, right.

I wake up, and I'm like, I feel like I had a stroke.

My lip went up.

[both laugh]

- Look it, me, you, and Ronnie.

[laughter]

- Did you and Jenni smooth things over?

- Oh, about Jenni trying to throw me

into the mix last night?

- That's how you get a divorce.

And you take note too, mother[bleep].

That's how you [bleep]--

- How does he take note? - How do I take notes?

- I think you were being quiet and not bothering anybody,

but she was bringing up stuff from--

that happened, like, months and months and months ago.

- That's what girls do.

They're like-- they're like crockpots.

They, like, let [bleep] get slow and marinate,

and then [bleep] eight hours later,

[bleep] wants to be ready.

Guys are like microwaves.

[chuckles] Like...

- Jenni and Ron have been fighting like this

since I've known them.

I definitely thing there are still some unresolved issues

between the two of them.

But at the same time,

Jenni going at Ron came out of nowhere, honestly.

I don't know why she did that.

- I wasn't speaking against her. I wasn't saying anything bad.

I was just speaking the truth,

just like, you know, she says she does,

and she took offense to it, and that's what it is.

If you can't take it, then don't dish it.

I didn't like the fact that all the nonsense

got directed at me.

I feel like I did so much work

to try to stay away from that kind of drama.

Almost, like, [bleep], like, ripping you back in.

Like, you know, I was like,

"I'm [bleep] not about that [bleep] anymore."

- Yeah, you guys have, like, a love-hate with each other,

like, brother and sister.

- Yeah, but it's just kinda like,

how many times do you gotta have the same conversation

with the same person?

- Like, everyone goes back and forth,

and some people take it too far, you know?

- Yeah.

Jenni is--I-- she's a narcissistic person.

She's a person that never does wrong.

Everybody's always wrong.

When something happens, it's because of something,

it's because of someone else.

It's kinda like, you maybe need to grow up

and realize that it's not about changing other people

or changing your environment.

It's about changing yourself.

But that's your own [bleep] you gotta figure out.

I'm not [bleep] Dr. Phil.

You can't afford me.

[laughter]

- But you can still be cool, though?

- Yeah. What am I gonna do?

I'm gonna argue with a narcissistic person

that always thinks she's right?

[clears throat]

You know, it's like, if I wanted to do that,

I would argue with somebody on Instagram...

[laughter]

In my comments.

[laughter]

- "Ron..." - [laughs]

- ♪ I'm walking everywhere ♪ - ♪ I'm walking everywhere ♪

- ♪ Like I don't know nobody ♪

- Get up. Let's go.

- I'm a mom of three, b*tch.

[SpiffyUNO's "Doubt It"]

- Your nipple's hanging out.

- [yells] - Stop, perverts!

[laughter]

- Now that it's all said and done,

did you really get your nipple pierced?

- Yes. - Show us.

- No, hell no. - Let me see.

You really got your nipple pierced?

- I don't have both.

- You got one? - Yeah.

- Did it hurt? - I mean, obviously, yes.

- I could never. - Mm.

- You don't believe me? - I don't know.

- Oh, my God, Dee! - [laughs]

- Forget it. - She wants to see it.

- Let me just ask, where'd you get it done?

- My friend's friggin' tattoo shop.

- [laughs] What? - Why are you asking this?

- What salon? I'm gonna call and ask

if Angelina went to get her nipple pierced.

- Why the [bleep] do you guys care so much?

I am no liar, okay?

If I said that I got my nipple pierced,

if I say I got this pierced,

if I said I got my vag*na pierced,

I wouldn't be lying to you,

which, I really don't, but you know what I'm saying.

- What's the name of your friend's place?

- Osiris.

- "Osiris." - No!

[laughter]

- "Osiris." - Stop, I'm gonna pee my pants.

- "Osiris pierced my tit." - I'm gonna pee my--

I have no underwear on. What the [bleep]--

- Oh, shocking. [laughter]

- They're not still talking about

Angelina's nipple, are they?

- [bleep].

- The place is called Osiris? - No, the guy is called Osiris.

- No, what is the place called? - I'm not [bleep]--

- The guy's name is Osiris?

[laughter]

- I could've sworn I seen a nipple ring.

- I thought so too.

- And then she said she did. - Uh-huh.

No one knows if Angelina really has it or not.

Angelina says she does, Jenni says she doesn't,

and they're going on and on and on.

- But she won't show it, though.

- I know what we could do.

Let's get to the bottom of this.

- You think they'll give it to us?

- Yeah.

Yo, my man... - What up? What's going on?

- Uh, can we borrow that?

- What? What's going on?

- We'll bring it back, I promise.

How do you work this thing? Okay, and now it's on?

[device ringing] - Cool!

[both laugh] - Please stop.

- "Osiris." I don't feel anything.

- Are you...

- Imagine we bend her down, and we took her tit out.

[laughter]

- I always wanted to use one of these.

- We're not even asking to see both t*tties.

I just wanna see one titty.

- Let's just see it. - Pauly!

- No, Pauly's--that's a [bleep], that's different.

- Are you guys still talking about this nipple ring?

[overlapping chatter]

- And did you prove that she does or no?

- By Osiris. [indistinct] - No.

I asked her if she got it done.

both: "Osiris." - [laughs]

- Well, I think we have a way

to see if she has her nipple pierced.

- How? - Shut up.

[yelling]

[laughter]

- Do it.

[device ringing, amplifies]

[yelling, laughter]

It went! Did it go? It went!

I told you!

[hip-hop music]

- We have a winner, and she has a nipple ring.

[device ringing, amplifies]

[screaming, yelling]

- It's right on the nipple. - I'm done. I'm done.

- It is literally like-- beep, beep, beep--

[tongue rolls]-- like go--I'm like,

"What--girl, what kind of metal?

"Like, what gauge do we got going on down there?

That thing is going off."

- So, it's real! - I can't.

- Hey, wait, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on,

how do you do it again?

Is it on?

- You're not doing it anymore.

- Like this? - No, you gotta put it up.

- Put it on Pauly. - We're not doing it anymore.

- Wait, do it on Pauly, do it on Pauly.

[device ringing, amplifies]

[yelling, laughter]

[funky music]

- He still has a pierced p*nis!

[laughter]

[Jessie Poland's "Take On Anything"]

♪ ♪

- I had fun today.

- Me too.

♪ ♪

- We were talking about regrets earlier.

I've been thinking about the biggest one.

- Roger? - Yeah.

[soft instrumental music]

I'm going through it with the divorce.

It's been, like, almost a year since I filed.

When you get divorced, you're supposed to be celebrating,

and, like, start a new chapter,

but it's really heartbreaking, and it's stressful,

the ups and down battles

of figuring out custody issues.

I just don't know when it gets better.

- He's the [bleep] worst.

But you always knew it wasn't right.

- Yep...

and that's why I'm here.

- Thank God, because, you know what,

you have your two babies.

You have to look at it that way.

- I know, it's just really hard.

It's like, they're my bliss as I'm suffering.

It's more than exhausting.

It can, like, mentally break someone.

I just want peace.

- I'm so sorry.

- It's fine, it's just what I have to live with.

- Jenni's going through a lot right now

with her divorce with Roger,

and I feel so bad for her.

It's gonna be a year that you filed.

- You're telling me, I know.

- No, honestly, I don't know how she's doing it.

- [somber vocalizing]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Find me in the hills doing bigger things ♪

- Vinny, bring those steaks over here

before I bust your head.

- Wait, everything's done already?

- Girls, time to eat!

- You guys ready to eat?

- Somebody put the TV on. - [chuckles]

- Thank you, Vinny, for providing this beautiful dinner.

- Yo, Vinny, pass me that ketchup before I bust your head.

[ketchup sputters] - Ew!

- Well, this has been a fun two days.

- I'm really glad we got together, guys.

- Same. - "Ooh, I love this man."

[laughter]

- I'm so sorry. - "I love this man."

- What did you say when she said that?

- I didn't say anything.

I didn't have time to say anything.

I was just like... - I wanna hear the story again.

- What you have to understand is,

there was nothing that had to do with anything to do with Ron.

She was like, "[bleep] you Nicole."

Nicole was like, "[bleep] you, Angelina."

She was like, "[bleep] you, Jenni."

Angelina's like, "I love this man!"

- Ron is my [bleep] true friend here.

He's the only one that treated me with respect here.

So, go at Ronnie, and don't go at me.

- "Get that [bleep] finger out of my [bleep] face."

[laughter]

- Get that [bleep] finger out of my [bleep] face.

Put that [bleep] finger in my [bleep] face again.

- Okay, enough.

- And then she was like, "I love this man!

I love this man!" - "Who do you work for?"

- "I love this man!"

- "What borough do you live in?"

- "I love this man!" - "What's your zip code?"

- Then she starts making out with Ron.

- "You're a [bleep]!"

[laughter]

- We are having a friggin' blast.

We're talking about last night, laughing about it,

being like, "We're so [bleep] stupid."

This is a family.

This is what I wanted yesterday,

but no, we can't [bleep] get along.

We are such a dysfunctional family,

that I can't even deal.

- "I love this man!"

- That was it, "I love this man."

- "I love this man!"

- "I love this man!" - [laughs]

- "No, seriously, I'm not a mean girl."

- All you guys are like mean girls, you and her.

You texted me-- - No, I'm not!

[bleep] off, I'm not that person!

- "[bleep] off!" - Don't make me that person.

- "I'm [bleep] leaving! I'm going back to my newborn!"

- I'm going home.

- No, you're not, Nicole. - No, Nicole.

- [bleep] yeah, I'm going to my son.

- "You know what, [bleep] this, I'm leaving.

I'm going back to my newborn." [laughter]

"I'm running back to my newborn.

[bleep] you! I am not a mean girl!"

- And then it continues outside.

"TMZ" picks it up.

[laughter]

- This is just typical us.

One night, we hate each other, and then we love each other,

and then we hate each other, and the next day,

we're just acting like nothing ever happened,

and we're back to our fun, old ways.

- And then you got the two meatballs

holding friggin' me and Jenni back...

- Yeah, let me ask you something,

we have three grown men here...

[laughter]

- Why didn't you try and stop her?

- Three grown men.

- Vinny's, like, in the corner, sucking his thumb.

- I've been-- - We're like, "No, no, no!"

- I've been breaking up every fight since .

- So you leave it--

- See what I mean? - I'm done. I am done.

- So you let the two smallest girls hold these two back?

- I was [bleep] eating my food. - [laughs] "I was still eating."

- Bottles getting thrown and [bleep]. I'm like...

- I'm, like, getting pushed, I'm like...

[laughter]

- [bleep] wine bottles hitting me in the head,

and I'm like, "Yo, chill."

- Back then, I wasn't thinking about it.

Like, I wasn't thinking about it at the time,

but now that I sit down and I think about it...

- We talked about that [bleep] happening so much,

we had to let it happen.

- [exhales] Well...

this is fun.

[laughter]

You guys!

[Skiddalz's "Ride With You"]

- This is exactly why we are a family.

Like, we were damn near at each other's throats the other night,

and right now, we're laughing about it.

And that's what you do.

Only family can do that, not friends.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - That's [bleep] up.

Just 'cause I juked you out?

We're here for you too.

- I love you - I love you too.

- He's like my big brother. I love him.

- You know, I still love everyone,

and, you know, thank you for a great summer.

- Love you guys.

- I want a group hug. - You got this, guys!

- Only family can come back from something like that.

That was awesome. [laughter]

- What a good time.

- Well, when you put it like that,

we looked like a bunch of [bleep]holes last night.

- Dysfunctional family. - I love us.

- ♪ Yeah, I'm gonna ride-ride ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm gonna ride-ride ♪

♪ I'm calling shotgun ♪

♪ You got the right one ♪

♪ I'm down to ride ♪

♪ You down to drive? ♪

♪ I'm calling shotgun ♪

♪ You got the right one ♪

♪ I'm down to ride ♪

♪ You down to drive? ♪

♪ ♪

- I just feel like you don't do [bleep].

- I'm gonna stay over here.

- I'm ready to [bleep] do what Kim Kardashian did:

go to [bleep] Washington, D.C. and go to the president.

I feel like we could get Mike out.

- Let's go. - Oh, my God.

all: Free Sitch! Free Sitch!

- Mike will be a free man in hours.

- Shut the [bleep] up! - Free Sitch!