03x14 - Reunion

[bunniefuu]

[Cheers and applause]

- I'm your host julissa,

And tonight the entire cast ofjersey shore is here.

This is jersey shore: the reunion.

[Get crazy by lmfao]

- Dj pauly delvecchio!

- I'm going to the jersey shore, b*tch!

- All right, we got a situation.

- I'm the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

- [Laughing]

- After I have sex with a guy, I will rip their heads off.

- Go, vinny! Go, vinny!

- You like the boobs?

- All right, let's get this thing started.

Please help me welcome a group of people

You may be familiar with.

Say hello to vinny...

[Cheers and applause]

Jwoww,

The situation,

Sammi,

Deena,

Ronnie,

Snooki,

And pauly d.

All right, mike, I have to ask you.

Was this the best summer in seaside?

- I'd have to say yes,

'Cause we had just come from, you know, miami,

And we were definitely, like, very wild,

But at the same time, we were kind of like fish out of water.

So when we came back home, we were so comfortable,

And it definitely showed.

- Deena, this was your first summer at seaside heights.

How was it for you? - I had a blast.

And I don't regret anything I did.

Well, some things. - Like...

- Dropping my drawers in front of mike over here,

For one!

- I mean, you know what?

It was like a natural reaction, you know?

I mean, what are you gonna do?

Well, one thing that never changes

Are the things that you guys say and do that keep us laughing.

So let's take a look.

- I want them like this.

Too big?

- What I'll be happy to leave behind

Is some of the little idiosyncrasies

That people have that kind of annoy everybody.

Look at my situation, bro!

Deena's "good time, bad time."

- What a bad time. Now, this is a good time.

I'm like a blast in a glass.

- Shut up, you friggin' blast first rodeo.

- [Belching]

- Phenomenal day today.

[Belches] I'm just thinking about you.

- The girls play a reverse role in the house.

They play, like, the guys' role. They're burping like crazy.

- [Belching]

- [Belches]

- It's disgusting.

- Ew, you peed on my foot!

Ew! Ew!

Jenni has this thing where she pees behind bars

Just because it's fun.

- Don't tell anybody! - No one's looking at you!

- Stop it!

[Laughter]

- Oh, my god.

Yes!

- Pauly...we've been through so much together.

There's only one guy in my life

That I have a bromance with, and that's vinny.

- Will we make this forever?

- Yeah, we'll do it. - Yay!

- Come on, let's go get you sweatpants.

I love sweatpants, so...

- The second the girl gets to the house,

Mike puts them in boys' clothes.

- I'm gonna give you some sweatpants or something.

- You don't like my dress?

- Do you want these? They're comfortable.

You want some comfortable stuff?

Put these on.

- Situation shirt. Situation shorts.

Who'd you bang tonight?

[Laughter]

- Serious, bro.

[Cheers and applause]

- You guys do some weird stuff.

Jwoww, what is up with your bladder?

Do you have a small bladder? What's up?

- I mean, the walk is long, and then,

Like, the upstairs bar,

That would have took, like, minutes to get down,

And sometimes a girl just can't hold it.

- You have to squat.

- I know where her dogs get it from.

[Laughter]

- From him!

- And, mike, do you think girls look sexier

Wearing sweatpants, boy clothes?

What's your deal? - No, no.

For me, it was-- it's more of just--

Usually girls have, like, all types of, like,

Apparatuses, and the--

And the bras are-- oh, man.

They're hard to get off, so--

- You mean to tell me, by now,

You don't know how to work a bra?

- Ohh... [Laughter]

- And, pauly, when you and vinny tie the knot,

I want to know, are you gonna dj your own wedding?

- Oh, of course. I'm gonna do both roles.

I'm gonna be the, uh-- the bride...

[Laughter]

And the dj.

- The bride because you require more hair gel, huh?

- Exactly. [Laughs]

- All right, we'll catch up with everyone in a little bit,

But first up, let's have a little chat

With our girl snooki.

Snooki, come on up here.

[Cheers and applause]

Hi, snooki.

At the very start of the summer,

You were on a mission to find yourself

A juicehead gorilla that fit all your needs.

- Yeah.

- Are you still snookin' for love?

- I had hope that there was, like, one guy in the club

That was looking for a girlfriend

That wanted to find love,

And I just didn't find that, so...

- What's up with that?

- I mean, a lot of guys, when we go out,

All they want to do is hook up and then good-bye,

Never see you again, whatever.

So after the first couple guys,

It was like, you know what? I'm gonna play that game too.

- It's like our roommates. You know?

They're not trying to find love,

Nor are the guys in the other houses.

- Yeah, and the whole thing with vinny,

Vinny gives mixed signals a lot,

So I had no idea what was going on with him.

- Seeing snooki's brilliant lineup of men,

I do feel that I was one of the best--

The best picks for you.

- What do you mean, my "brilliant lineup of men"?

I only slept with two.

You slept with, like, girls.

- All right. Anyway...

[Laughter]

- I just always have hope, so you never know.

- Yeah.

- Like, you could find it at seaside.

You could find it in a library.

- You don't go to the library.

- Vinny, shut up.

- Well, where she does go is actually to you, vinny.

When things don't work out,

You seem to come right back to vinny.

Why is that?

- I don't know why I am so attracted to vinny.

Um... - Seabiscuit.

- It's not his wiener. Relax. It's--

[Laughter]

I don't know. We just--

We--we flirt, and I think it's fun.

- Oh, thank you.

- You started off really wanting to smush vinny,

But as time went on, that kind of went away.

What happened?

- I feel vinny turned into, like, a jerk-off.

[Laughter]

He was just really rude,

And he would make rude comments to me.

That night that you said--

We were on the couch before we went out,

And I was like, "I really want to cuddle tonight."

And you were like, "if--you know, if you really

Don't want me to bring home a girl, I won't."

So we agreed.

So when I got home,

You were banging a girl in your room.

- He does the same thing to me.

- Well, I'm a girl.

I didn't like that.

So that's--that's when I started to be like, whatever.

I'm over it.

- Vin, I think you led her on a little bit.

I'll be honest.

I think that you were telling her

That you wanted to be friends,

But you also were leading her on,

Like, flirting with her,

And girls get very emotional and attached.

And that's just what I saw.

- You were just-- you changed. You changed, bro.

You changed. [Laughter]

And that's it.

- Do you still have feelings for vinny?

- I love him as a friend, but it's ruined.

- And, vinny, what are your feelings for snooki?

- I have nothing but love for her.

And I think she's lying.

Like, the same thing. She feels the same way.

- So you really did fall in love with him.

- I didn't fall in love. - No, you fell in deep lust.

- Deep lust, I would say.

- I lust you too, girl.

- Thanks.

- All right, when we come back, we'll take a new look

At some very dysfunctional relationships.

Trust me, you're not gonna want to miss it.

This is jersey shore: the reunion.

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

Welcome back tojersey shore: the reunion.

I'm julissa, and I'm here

With the entire cast ofjersey shore,

Including my girl snooki.

My next guest is a girl

That did a little gorilla juicehead upgrade this summer.

Please say hello to jwoww.

[Cheers and applause]

- Hi, boo-boo. Me. - Love you.

- Jwoww, so what happened with tom?

- [Groans] god. I think I created that monster.

He was just very insecure.

I should have left him

When I cheated on him with pauly, but i--

I stayed with him 'cause I felt bad.

- Well, you got to the shore, and you ran into roger.

Did you break ronnie's only rule--

Don't fall in love on the shore?

- I did. I did. But I'm happy I did it, so far.

- So, so far, you're in love? - So far, I'm in love.

- I'm the bridesmaid. - Yes.

- Well, you certainly went through some drama,

But then you found a knight in shining, tan muscles.

Let's take a look.

[Dance music]

- I'm walking into karma,

And the first person that I see is roger.

- Yeah?

- Roger is an old friend of mine.

We had something in the past,

A long time ago, but, you know,

As of right now, we're still friends.

- You see anybody you know down there?

- Yeah. - Who?

- My friend roger.

- I really think jenni likes this roger guy.

I know how jenni feels.

Like, when I see a girl that's, like, mad hot,

Like, big, fake boobs, nice butt,

I go crazy; I really like them.

And I know that's what jenni's going for right now.

- Yo! What's up? - Hi!

- You look amazing. - Roger! Hi!

- What's up, baby?

- Roger kind of looks like a big juice monkey,

Yet he's polite, respectful, which is shocking.

- What's in that bag? - Oh, I love roger.

- It's a whole bag full of condoms.

- Really? [Laughter]

- Originally I thought roger could maybe be,

Like, a rebound for tom,

But I'm really developing feelings for the kid.

Like, he is everything I want in a guy, so why not?

- Go, roger. Go, roger. Go, roger.

- I like roger a lot.

I am recently single.

Am I afraid to be with you?

- A little bit. - %.

Both: why?

- 'Cause I don't want to get hurt.

[Cheers and applause]

- Yay! That makes me so happy.

[Laughs]

- Okay, so, jwoww, looking back,

Was roger the right choice over tom?

- Yes. I wish I made that choice a lot sooner.

- Why?

- 'Cause we were friends for a long time.

- Did you ever date him before?

- It was, like, a summer thing three or four years ago.

Back then, I would, like-- I was, like, psycho

And all over the place, and... - You're still psycho.

- Yeah, still psycho, but it wouldn't be like we are now.

- And why did you wait to sleep with roger

Until you officially broke up with tom?

- You know, just, I have morals, at least a little.

And I didn't--i didn't want to put anything--

If I was gonna have a relationship with roger,

I didn't want him to hold anything against me.

- And she's not a wh*re, so... - Yeah.

[Laughter] - snooki, do you like roger?

- I love roger.

Roger is, like, the perfect guy for jenni.

I could, like, cry talking about it.

Like, jenni, she deserves the best,

And roger is pretty much, like, the perfect fit for jenni.

- Pauly, do you approve of roger?

- Yeah, %. - Roger that.

- Ro--ro--ro--roger that.

No, all kidding aside, roger's a good dude.

Like, he's a good dude. I like roger.

And I never seen her smile like that,

Like, ever since I met her.

When she's seeing roger and she's happy with him,

I never seen her happier, so I'm happy for her.

She's a great girl, and he's a great guy.

- So are you and roger still together?

- We are. We are. Best relationship.

Best, like, eight months I've ever had.

- Yay!

[Cheers and applause]

- All right, well, when we come back,

We'll meet mike's wingman,

Who is quick to pop a squat anywhere,

And no, I am not talking about jwoww.

So don't go anywhere, even if it is to gtl,

Because this isjersey shore: the reunion.

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

Welcome back tojersey shore: the reunion.

I'm julissa, and I'm here with the entire cast ofjersey shore.

Now, my next guest

Is the number one dog whisperer in seaside.

Say hello to mike "the situation."

[Cheers and applause]

Mike, tell me about your special connection with animals.

- You know what?

I don't know. I'm a dog person.

I love dogs, and I don't know.

I'm pretty sure they like me.

I mean, every time I was around,

They would come over.

I mean, and I would reward them for that.

[Laughter]

- All right, well, let's check out

This never-before-seen instructional video

On how not to take care of your dogs.

- [Laughs]

Don't worry, lean cuisine.

Nobody's here yet.

You watch the back, I'll watch the front.

All right? Go back there.

You know what?

Lean cuisine is smarter

Than pretty much every other housemate in this g*ng here.

So I've partnered up with the evil lean cuisine,

And we're going to take over this whole house.

Look in the mirror. Is the situation looking good?

- Mike feeds jenni's dogs any kind of food.

- This is tony's cheesesteak. Take a bite of that.

- Oh, he'll like that.

- A little turkey.

Right here, salami.

Try some crumb cake, son.

Grab that pizza. It's right there.

You want me to help you get to that?

Your mother would probably not let you eat like this,

But uncle situation does.

We're italian in this house. We eat pizza.

They love me.

Now I can sit back and watch the master plan ensue.

Yeah, piss right on the rug.

Oh, hell, yeah. Yeah.

These b*stards are running rampant.

Oh, hell, yeah.

You're taking a sh*t right in pauly's room.

Pauly and vinny are not gonna be happy about that one.

Don't mess with lean cuisine.

I'm coming for you. [Growls]

[Laughs]

- You know, for the love of dogs that you have,

You have no idea what to feed them.

- Yeah, I figure, you know what?

He'll tell me if he doesn't like it.

- I had no idea why they were doing that.

Now I know, so...

- They weren't bad.

- It took, like, three months

To get them potty-trained again.

- I don't understand why you let them sh*t all over the house

That you also lived in and were gonna be sitting on.

I just don't understand why you thought that was so cool.

- No, see, it just so happened that there was just one day

That that happened.

It wasn't intentional.

Nothing was done intentional.

And you guys all know that I'm not like that.

I don't do anything intentional.

- That looked intentional. That looked intentional.

- No, I don't do--no, nothing-- - are you serious right now?

You said it, you were like,

"Oh, I'm just gonna go upstairs and act like I'm sleeping."

- Well, so I don't get in trouble.

- It's intentional. - I mean, it's not like--

You know, I don't, like-- I don't, like,

Do anything malicious towards any of them.

- You said that the plan was in action

Or in motion or whatever you had going on.

- To pull pranks, maybe to fool around,

But nothing, like, against anybody personally.

I'm not like that.

- Pauly and vinny, why don't you guys

Come up here and join us?

Come on over here.

[Cheers and applause]

It's time to hear from you guys.

Vinny, what was the nickname that you came up with for mike?

- Well, he snitched on my prank,

So I called him "the snitchuation."

- That's right.

- Pauly, do you agree with that name?

- For sure. He snitched right on him.

- Yeah, you know what? Like, I'll be honest.

I'm not a hater, so I'd have to say

That the name kind of sounded kind of funny.

But at the same time, by no means

Am I "the snitchuation."

If anything--

- Instigation? - Instigation? That's not bad.

- Well, let's take a look at mike "the instigation"

Doing what he does best.

- I'm airing it out. Yeah, I'm blasting it out.

I'm putting it on blast.

If you're not squeaky-clean

And I find something in the house

That needs to be picked on,

I'm gonna bring it up in front of everybody.

I heard a little story about you today.

Let's just say you don't like to, you know, [...]

But you like to [...].

- Well, that's not true, 'cause it's not true.

I never would do that in my life.

- [Laughs] - are you kidding?

- [Laughing]

He just loves airing out what people say about each other

And sit back and, like, with a bag of popcorn

And watch sh*t hit the fan.

Where is ron?

- Jenni?

Ron is?

Get the f*ck out of here.

This is my last time trying. Are you friends with her?

- Oh!

- What?

Arvin is an old friend of mine.

He's like, "sam has been contacting me

To meet her and hang out with her,"

As soon as she left the house.

Pure evidence of treachery I've just seen.

Sammi, caught you, you sneaky b*tch.

- Aah!

- Yo, do you want to get the other dudes in this

So everybody knows?

[Cackles]

- I told him, like, "listen, you got caught.

And I caught you personally."

- [Gasps]

Are you f*cking kidding me?

[Applause] - [laughs]

- Mike, why do you feel the need to put everybody on blast,

To air everybody out and basically be

The gossip magazine reporter in the house?

- I mean, we all know that we're all, like,

Pretty strong personalities in this house

And if anybody does anything that, you know,

They'll get on them.

So, you know, it's my job,

Just like it's anybody else's job in this house.

- I just think you go out of your way

To get involved in other people's drama.

When it's-- it's kind of funny.

You should probably just stay out of it.

- No, I don't--i don't do any of that, you know?

- I clearly just saw you definitely do it.

- No, no, no, no, no. That's not how it is.

If you're, like--

- You definitely went out of your way

To try and ruin sam and ron's relationship.

- No way. - Yes, you did.

- No way. I was--i was--

- It's fine that you're boys with ron

And you can, you know, do boy code.

That's fine. You can do that.

But you went over and above

To really get yourself involved.

- Well, because I really--

I really didn't think you were a good person,

To be honest with you.

- Mike, you just love trouble

And you love drama,

And that's just who you are.

- Then what the f*ck happened in miami?

- What are you talking about?

- How come it's okay for mike

To go out of his way in miami

And tell you that the note was true,

But he can't stick up for me?

I just want to know.

- So is that really your boy?

- That's not the question. - That's who he is.

He's--he's--he loves trouble.

You're just a snitch. - And you're a sneaky b*tch.

You're a sneaky b*tch.

- Cool. - All right?

So that's it.

- Well, what I want to know is,

What's on pauly's mind?

What do you think about all this?

- I love a good reunion this time of year.

[Cheers and applause]

But, um... [Laughs]

This is great. I don't know.

I wish I had some popcorn or something.

- You know what, vinny?

You've been sitting there awfully quiet,

But your looks are saying a whole lot.

- Obviously, mike, you could see it there,

Definitely.

- No, I saw it.

- You definitely instigate.

You def-- no, no, let me talk.

- Okay. - You definitely instigate.

You can see it right there.

And you--he airs it out.

Sometimes the stuff he says is actually true.

But he just-- you know, he says it.

- I agree with vinny. It's, like, torn.

- No, the situation is where

I guess he is there for you in a way,

But then, at the same time, you don't know

If he's looking out for himself

Or if he's looking out for you.

- We love mike to death, but we never know if we can trust him.

- You don't know if he has good intentions

Or bad intentions behind what he does.

- Yeah, you don't know.

- Pauly, how have you become so immune to all of this?

- I'm used to it. [Laughs]

It comes a pattern now.

It just--

If you do something or something happens...

- We all know how we are, all of us.

- You'll know exactly what's gonna happen.

He's gonna put you on blast or he's gonna rat you out.

It is what it is.

He's a rat. [Laughter]

So you just do what you gotta do.

- All right, well, when we come back,

Never-before-seen footage

That led to ronnie crying over sammi lying.

Go talk to your dogs and come right back,

'Cause this isjersey shore: the reunion.

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

Welcome back tojersey shore: the reunion.

I'm julissa, and I'm here with the entire cast ofjersey shore,

Including mike, vinny, and pauly.

My next guest was a blast in a glass

That turned into a holiday

And then spiraled into a hot mess.

Please say hello to deena.

[Cheers and applause]

- Yeah, deena!

- Ah, deena.

Looking back, how was it, being the new roommate?

- I mean, it was hard in the beginning,

Just 'cause I had to get used to it, like everyone.

And I guess I still have to get used to certain personalities.

But I really do love everybody in this house.

Like, through thick or thin, like,

Everybody does have each other's back,

Even though we do get into, like,

You know, fights and stuff.

But it happens in any family.

- There's a lot of love. - Yeah.

Truly, this summer was probably the best summer I've had,

And I go down to the shore a lot, so...

Yeah, it was probably the best summer I've had.

- Well, let's take a look

At deena's epic battle with gravity.

- [Gasps]

- Oh, my god.

- Like, you're not supposed to hit the floor.

You're not supposed to.

- I can't--

- Oh, no!

- That's not a good thing.

- [Gasps]

[Laughter]

Aah!

Ow.

- Say, "I solemnly swear..." - I solemnly swear...

- "To do the jersey turnpike to the best of my abilities."

- To do the jersey turnpike at the best of my abilities.

- "I will never back it up..." - I will never back it up...

- "Unless at the jersey shore." - Unless at the jersey shore.

[Dance music]

♪

- Face down, a*s up. That's the way I like to have a good time.

[Laughs]

I play guys like a fiddle. I have no shame.

I'm not looking for love anymore.

f*ck them.

- Deena says she has no shame.

- ♪ Burr burr bee bah-dee bee bee bee ♪

♪ Bee bee bee bah-dee dee dee dee dee dee ♪

- And I respect that, you know?

'Cause I don't have any shame.

But at least be on point.

- Take a shot!

Yo, you farted!

I will pick your nose and make you eat it!

[Dogs barking]

[Retches]

- What did you eat? Is that hot dogs?

- [Retches]

- Deena is a mess tonight.

- Oh, you're lucky I f*cking love you,

Or I'd punch you in the face.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

- Bye!

[Laughter]

- Gross. [Applause]

- I didn't know about that.

- Snooki was holding your hair, though.

That's a good friend. - Yeah, snook!

- [Gagging]

- Deena, do you really have no shame?

- Clearly, no. I mean, let's--let's be real.

- We love her for that.

When she came in with that attitude,

I was like, "that's perfect."

She doesn't really care. She wants to have a good time.

What's wrong with that? - Yeah.

- All right, deena, well, let's move along

And talk about your balance.

Why is it so hard for you to keep it?

- I don't know.

Like, I have a--this is from the shore, actually.

A battle wound.

This knee, every freaking night we went out,

Would, like, bleed.

And I think it was because, like,

Walking home in those heels drunk,

Like, I would get stuck in cracks, and I would fall,

And it was just a bad time.

- I've never seen someone in my life

Ever fall as much as she did.

Like, anything she did, she would, like, topple over.

- And, sammi, you and deena didn't like each other

Right off the bat.

So what was it that brought you guys together as friends?

- At first, I really wasn't feeling deena

'Cause she came off a little strong,

And I was like, "whoa, who is this girl?"

But it turns out she actually is a wonderful, great person,

And she's a lot of fun, and I grew to really like her.

- Behind this hot mess, there is a genuinely,

Like, nice person.

And I'm sensitive and, you know, think--

Like, I look out for my friends, and I'm very thoughtful, so...

Yeah, I might be a hot mess sometimes...

- She is very thoughtful. - But whatev.

- The hot mess has a heart.

- And I just want to get this straight.

I don't lick a [...], All right?

- Whoa! - Just saying.

- Who even asked you that? Who asked you that, though?

- I just want to freaking put it out there!

- Who's talking about butt?

- I just want to put it out there.

- Oh, man.

- I don't lick a [...].

Barbershop made that up.

- Right. That's a good one.

- Yeah, that was a good one.

- 'Cause that's what we talk about at the barbershop.

- Poop comes out of a butt.

- Ah! - Get out of here!

Really? - That's disgusting.

- Deena, stop digging yourself into a hole.

- Shh. Shh. - We don't talk like that.

- No, that's gross. I would never lick a [...].

- Yo, stop talking sh*t.

- When we come back, sammi can't take the heat,

So she gets out of the kitchen.

Well, she doesn't actually spend time in the kitchen,

But you know what I mean.

Don't go anywhere.

This isjersey shore: the reunion.

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

Welcome back tojersey shore: the reunion.

I'm julissa, and I'm here with the entirejersey shore cast.

Her relationship with ronnie has extended over three summers,

And so has her hair.

Please welcome sammi.

- Yeah, sammi! Whoo!

[Cheers and applause]

- Oh, sammi.

Going into this past summer,

Did you trust ronnie?

- No, not really,

Because it was right after miami,

So I didn't really know what was going on in miami,

And I knew I loved him,

But I don't know if I really fully trusted him.

- So why did you choose to stay in a relationship with ronnie?

- Because I loved him so much,

And I felt like, because I loved him,

Maybe something can work out.

- You definitely tried, but in the end,

You just couldn't take it.

So let's take a look.

- Bye, guys.

Miss you.

Ronnie, take care of my daughter.

- Bye.

The hardest thing you can do is look back

And see what the person who you love has done to you.

- I'm not--like, I'm not proud of what I did at all.

- I don't trust ron, and it's hard to believe

In what he says to me now.

You lied to me for those two months in miami,

Like, straight to my face.

Like, imagine if I ever did that to you.

- Least I came home to you.

- What? - Where I was--

- I would rather you not come in my bed.

I'm gonna f*cking sh*t on you

Harder than you ever sh*t on me.

Bye, ron!

I'm going to aztec tonight for one reason:

Get ron back.

It's your turn to feel some pain.

- Oh, oh, oh.

- Just go downstairs, ron.

- Get the f*ck away from me,

You f*cking psycho m*therf*cker.

I want nothing to f*cking do with you ever!

- Get the f*ck out of here.

- I swear to f*cking christ!

- Go in there. - I hate you!

I need to go home and get myself together.

- I'm trying to talk to sam, but I can see it in her face

That she's broken, and I just--

I don't even know what to say to her anymore.

[Both sobbing]

- I need to go home and see my family,

Who loves and support me,

And get out of this relationship that I've been in.

I need to get out of it.

- If you love someone, care about someone...

[Sobbing]

[Cheers and applause]

- Sammi, how did it make you feel to see ronnie so upset?

- I had no idea he would even be like that.

Like, I was home. I had no idea what he was doing.

I thought maybe he'd go out and do him, like he's done before.

- Well, let's hear his take on things.

Please welcome ronnie.

[Cheers and applause]

Ronnie, were you an absolute mess when sammi left?

- I don't know. What do you think?

I mean--

- How do you feel, looking back at that?

- Definitely a waste of tears

After finding out what she did to me in jersey.

You know, she's always blaming me, me, me,

But at the same time, she's out getting guys' numbers,

Dancing with guys, hitting guys up.

And here I am crying like a little f*cking b*tch.

- So would you say that there's a double standard here?

- I think it was just very twisted and messed up.

- No, definitely a double standard.

I got mad at sam because she went out

And danced with a guy.

You know, I did the same thing in miami.

But at the same time, we both agreed

That going into jersey, we'd start over.

- I didn't know it was like that, though.

You really dogged me. - Dude, snooki told you.

- I didn't know it was like that.

- Jenni told you. I told you.

Everyone told you what happened.

- You didn't tell-- no, it wasn't like that,

Like what I saw, no.

- [Muttering] whatever, sam.

- Where are you guys at right now?

- We definitely decided that it's best

That we're not together.

You know, we both have to work on each other.

You know, you just have to hope and wish

For the best in the future.

That's all.

- I think we both realized this was a little bit

Of a toxic relationship

And we needed a break from each other.

[Applause]

- You seem like you get a little emotional about it.

- It sucks.

Like, I obviously loved him.

- I still love her to death.

Do I trust her? No.

Do I feel like we should be in a relationship?

No, not right now.

- It sucks because we both love each other...

But, like, we can't be together, clearly.

Like, you know? It's not healthy.

- And what did everybody think about sammi leaving?

- Think it was good for her.

It was so toxic in that house

That somebody had to leave.

I love them both equally, but, you know,

They need to grow separately.

- I think what's lacking is correct communication.

- Yeah, because it's back and forth,

Back and forth, back and forth.

And then it's like, at first, you know, like,

"All right, ronnie's wrong.

All right, no, no, no, sammi's wrong."

But, like, now it's like, "oh, man.

I don't even know." Like, it's--i don't know.

- Do you still feel like you can never be together?

- I mean, you really don't know what's gonna happen

In the future, but, I mean,

As of right now, it's like, you--

You can f*cking cut the tension in this room

With a f*cking butter knife.

Like, it's very obvious. Like--

- You guys should make out.

[Laughter]

- All right, when we come back,

Sammi's past puts her on blast

In the form of a guy named arvin.

Take the chicken tortellini out of the oven and hurry back,

Because this isjersey shore: the reunion.

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

Welcome back tojersey shore: the reunion.

I'm julissa, and I'm here with the entirejersey shore cast,

Including ronnie and sammi.

Sammi, now, you spent some time away from ronnie.

What was that time apart like for you?

- It was peaceful.

I had time to actually, like, gather myself

And talk to my family and get their opinions.

It was an opportunity for me to really just try

And pick myself up a little bit.

- And, ronnie, what did you learn from the time apart?

- I learned that, you know,

That a lot of mistakes that I've made

Have caused a lot of problems in this relationship,

And I can't always put the blame on someone else.

You know, I messed up.

- Well, you both spent much-needed time apart,

But that quickly came to an end.

Let's take a look.

- Baba--hi, sammi.

- Oh, my god!

- I definitely think it'd be nice if sam

Stayed out of the house a little bit longer.

And she walked through the door, and I'm just like, "fml."

- Let me prove to you that I'm not the same person.

- I love him, and we can work on things

And see, you know, if he changes.

- Sam is breaking right now.

She's been so strong, and she's having so much fun

With the girls, and now she's waiting for ron.

- Gtf.

Gym, tanning, find out who sam is texting behind ronnie's back.

Hello.

- Your hand was in the f*cking cookie jar.

Like, how are you gonna sit there

With the crumbs on your lip and be like,

"I didn't eat the cookie"?

I sat in this house, and I f*cking cried!

I didn't call one f*cking girl!

She has the ba*ls to go home and hit up some f*cking guy--

- Why do you think I f*cking went home?

'Cause of you!

- If this relationship continues, I will k*ll myself.

- He's a friend!

- Girls don't have friends that are guys.

- Admit it. - Let me go!

- No!

Yo, dude. - What up?

- Yo, bro, I don't care.

Have you ever hooked up with sam?

- No, not like that.

- You never made out with sam?

- Yeah, we have.

- f*ck this.

- Wait, wait, hold on, hold on.

- f*ck this. - Hold on.

- Biggest liar I ever met in my life.

- I'm not proud of my actions.

I love you, and I'm sorry for a lot of stuff in this house.

I'm sorry.

- I think my heart's broken at this point.

- So this is over?

- Yeah.

[Applause]

- Ronnie, what went through your mind

When sammi walked through the door

And came back to the shore house?

- Well, it was like seeing a ghost.

It was like, "holy sh*t."

I was like, "is she really back?"

Like, I didn't expect her to come back that quick.

- Mvp, what do you guys think?

- You know, I'll be honest with you.

When you left, i-- not that I said

That I didn't want you to come back,

But I was like, "all right, it was good."

You know, when you came back, I was like,

"Ugh, more fighting," and that's exactly what happened.

- When she left, I didn't expect ronnie

To act the way that he did.

So I was expecting him to be like,

"All right, let's party. Blah, blah, blah,"

But it wasn't.

I could see that he was bothered by it.

So he was just about to come around a little bit.

But it--when he seen her, he was like, "oh, my god."

Like, he wasn't expecting that.

- And, sammi, when you came back to the shore,

You seemed very anti-ronnie.

Was it all a show? Was it exactly how you felt?

- I think it was a show, because deep down,

I really wasn't listening to my heart.

Like, I knew I loved him, but I was like,

"I can't come back in this house

"And, like, just fall back into his arms.

I'm gonna look like an idiot."

So I think--i think, honestly, I just tried to play it off

Like I didn't care.

Like, whatever.

But deep down, like, I know I had feelings for him.

- So, sammi, do you think that you and ronnie

Rushed things to get back together?

- Definitely. Definitely think so.

- I mean, did you really believe after a few days

That he had changed?

- You never know, and I think I wanted to believe

The positive instead of the negative.

- And, jwoww, when sammi and ronnie got back together,

Did you see it coming, or were you in total shock?

- It was horrible, because ronnie wasn't doing

Anything wrong in jersey,

But yet we were reliving miami.

So her head was in miami.

He's pissed off because he's tried for months to fix it.

And we just--it was just gonna be a roller coaster.

We knew it was gonna come. - That's exactly right.

- Yeah, it was just a train wreck waiting,

'Cause we knew, like, ronnie's great,

But here's what happened in miami.

- Okay, so you guys are working things out,

And then comes along arvin.

Sammi, what is your history with arvin?

- He was a friend, and I hooked up with him

When I was years old.

I'm gonna be in a week.

It wasn't like that.

- So regardless, sammi, why did you lie about it?

Why didn't you just say, "this is exactly what happened"?

- I think I was just so scared,

Because I said, "this is my friend."

And, like, now things are finally going good

With me and ron.

And it's like, just my luck.

Like, "look what I did now."

It's like, now it's all coming downhill.

- Ronnie, was sammi trying to put

All the blame on mike, you think?

- I think sam was trying to put the blame on mike.

- It's funny, because I knew mike through arvin,

So I really just don't get-- - oh, I'm sorry.

I think the question was directed at me.

- I don't get why mike would even, like,

Make it something that it wasn't

When mike knew that we were just friends.

- I mean, if you really want my honest opinion,

I mean, I don't think--

- You knew we were friends, though.

- I think it's very hard for guys and girls

To be friends sometimes.

- Yeah, that used to hook up too--

That used to make out, I mean.

- We didn't "hook up." It was, like, a once in--

Like, honestly, we weren't "hooking up."

- So what do you call that?

It's called hooking up. - We made out.

We weren't hooking up, like, together.

It wasn't like that.

- Ronnie, why do you feel like you have the right

To get upset when all she did was text a guy

But you hooked up with plenty of girls in miami?

- No, no, no, no, no. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- I hooked up with one girl. Well, two at the same time.

So... - Why don't you--

Why don't you watch it again?

- And then you get upset at her.

But in miami, the minute you guys broke up,

You went and called your ex-girlfriend.

Isn't that kind of like her texting arvin

And that was just a friend?

- You hit up some girl like, "I'm gonna get whipped cream,"

And then you were like--

All this other sh*t on the phone.

Then you're like, "I'm gonna dance with girls,

But I'm gonna go hop in bed with my girl."

Like, you dogged me. - [Scoffs]

- And I still have never hooked up with anybody

Or even cheated on you.

- Okay, so you leave me. You don't come back to me.

- Okay, you leave me. You don't keep me around--

- I did leave you. I did leave you.

- You don't dog me like that.

- I did leave you.

That's why we're not together now.

So I did leave you. - Thank--thank you.

Because, honestly, you f*cked me in miami.

You f*cked with my head. - Thank you.

- You f*cked with my head. - Thank you.

- You f*cked with me.

And I still, to this day, have never cheated on you, so...

- Thank you.

- And she didn't tear up your stuff.

- I didn't--i didn't do sh*t to you--

- She put her hands on me, though.

- Okay, well, that's another little...

I'm sorry I have ever put my hands on you.

Truthfully, I am sorry.

- All right, so I have to ask you guys.

By the time you all left seaside,

How over this relationship were you?

- Over it.

- Hallelujah. - I don't blame them.

Like, looking back, it was so just unhealthy.

Like, I was looking, and I'm like,

"I can't even watch this anymore."

I don't know how they dealt with it

Every single day.

I have no idea. I don't know how they did it.

- All right, when we come back,

Vinny gets his spray tan on

And deena gets her spray tan wrong.

Don't go anywhere.

This isjersey shore: the reunion.

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

Welcome back tojersey shore: the reunion.

I'm julissa, and I'm here with the entirejersey shore cast.

In the land of seaside, the man with the spray tan is king.

So let's take a look.

- I got to go to the doctor. - Why?

- I think I spray tan too much,

And ever since miami, my right ear is--i can't hear.

- You think you got spray tan in your ear?

- You can call me burnt toast,

Oompa-loompa,

Orange freak.

As long as I know that I'm tan,

Call me whatever you want.

- I'm gonna be sticking to my sheets.

- I couldn't shave today.

She told me not to 'cause I went spray tanning.

- Yeah, that means you can't have sex tonight.

- Yeah, I wasn't planning to anyway.

- Ahh!

It's like ice.

Oh, it's f*cking freezing, bro.

- I'm sorry. - What the f*ck, man?

- Holy sh*t. He needs his money back.

I want your--you're gonna get your money back.

He has that disease.

It's called "no-tan-at-all."

I need to hit it hard tomorrow.

I'm pauly d.

Nobody's tanner than me.

- Pauly's tanner. - See?

- You know, you can't o.d. On tan either.

- That's what I mean.

- I really want to be really dark.

- How's this?

- Ooh, really dark.

- Ahh!

- I look like a fricking train wreck.

Like, this is not a good time.

Look at what happened to me

When I went spray tanning, okay?

- I didn't know you could get that dark.

- I look like a burnt meatball.

I look dirty.

Like, some of me is, like, patchy.

Some of me isn't.

I'm just, like, having an anxiety attack.

- Oh, my god. I'm so itchy.

Ow!

I wanted to get, like, really, really dark,

So I decided to use lotion.

I put a glob on my a*s.

It's so itchy. It's on fire.

And I need relief asap, because it does not feel good.

Oh, we got a fridge.

This feels good.

I have to poop.

[Laughter]

[Applause]

- Honest question.

Do you guys try to out-tan each other?

- Eh. - Yes.

- I try and out-tan pauly.

- I try and out-tan snooks.

- I like it. Let's see now.

- I can't tell from here. You guys even or what?

- I haven't tanned since september,

So I don't know about you.

- Yo, I'm darker.

- I'm darker than all you, dog.

- Oh, yeah, you too. Go away.

- Nah.

- Can you o.d. On tanning?

- Yeah, clearly. - Yeah.

- I o.d.'D on tanning.

- Deena. - I wanted to be like pauly d.

I even said--i was like, "get me as dark as pauly."

- I might be obsessed with tanning.

What's the problem?

- She was like, "I don't think you want to go that dark."

I was like, "I can do it." No.

She saw me. It was horrible.

- Snooki, so is it a compliment to you

When somebody says you look like an oompa-loompa?

- Orange means, like, you're not pale.

So if somebody says, "you're pale,"

Then that's an insult.

But if you're saying, "you're an oompa-loompa,"

Then it's a compliment.

- And, pauly, how do you stay so tan?

- I got a tanning bed in my house.

- Would you consider yourself tanorexic?

- You're tanorexic.

- I'm tantastic... - You're tantastic.

- But maybe tanorexic as well. - Yeah, you are.

If I'm pale, I feel like sh*t,

So I know how vinny feels every day.

All: oh!

- Oh, damn. - Wow.

- We're working on that, snooks.

- Well, we could go all night,

But unfortunately, this reunion has come to an end.

I would like to thank all of you guys

For being here with us today.

Good luck with everything.

And, of course, I'd like to thank

You guys at home for watching.

Good night. - Yay!

[Cheers and applause]