01x04 - Beach Reads

[bunniefuu]

[Bechir, on radio] Rescue station one.
This is Sheriff Clemmons.

All available fire and rescue
to Patricia's c*ck.

I don't know what the f*ck is going on!

[pensive music playing]

[chattering]

[chattering continues]

[sighs] Every time.

[fly buzzes]

[ominous music playing]

[chattering, laughing]

["Blue" playing on speakers]

[host chuckles]

Patricia.

You said I should stop by?

Of course. Yeah, of course, come on in.

[chuckles]

Um, should I open this bottle?

Yeah. We're all drinking white,
but if you want to, feel free.

- Cool.
- [host] Just in the kitchen.

[chattering]

[guest 1] He snores when he's laying on
his back. He snores when he's on his side.

I swear to God,
if he doesn't stop snoring, I'm just…

I'm gonna smother him
with a pillow. [laughs]

My dad snored so loud my mom
made him sleep on the couch,

and you could still hear him…

- My ex was the worst snorer.
- …all the way up...

- And I'm telling you, it was the worst.
- Um…

Not just the smell,
and it smelled pretty bad…

[speaking indistinctly]

[chuckles]

[host] Oh, please don't open that.

- Oh, um… Here. Here it is.
- Um…

- I think it's clean. [chuckles]
- [chuckles] Thank you.

- [groans]
- I don't think we've met. [chuckles]

Um, I just moved here a few months ago
from Portsmouth. I'm Shelby.

- Patricia.
- Hi.

[groans] Lenore's
the only person I know here,

hence the reason
I'm already on my third glass of wine.

- [huffs]
- [chuckles]

What about you? Who do you know?

Um. Oh, I, uh, um,
graduated with most of them,

but I'm usually pretty busy,

so I don't often make it to these things.

Can I ask you about it?

What?

The girls that died here.

You… You must have all
gone to school together.

Did I know them?

[Shelby] Yeah.

I was almost one of them.

No.

Yeah.

And what happened? I'm sor… [scoffs]

I shouldn't be asking you that.
I mean, it must be so hard to talk about.

Um, it started with the calls… [stammers]

…weird breathing and hang-ups,
and then one night I was alone.

Oh, my God. Did he come to your house?

The Boogeyman?

Holy sh*t.

Um, I heard someone downstairs
and I just knew...

- Your gut instinct.
- Yeah. Exa… That's right.

And I just thought, is this when I...

- Whoa!
- Excuse me.

- [guest 2] Oh, I'm sorry.
- Oh, no. Oh, it's fine.

Oh, no, I…
It looks like she-she really got ya.

- Oh, yeah.
- [Shelby chuckles] sh**t.

All right, well… [chuckles]

I'm gonna run to the bathroom
real-real quick, but then, um,

- I have questions for you.
- Yeah, okay.

- [chuckles]
- [chuckles] Yeah.

Okay.

["Morning" playing on speakers]

[guest 1] We've all heard it a few times.
I mean, how many times can you lie?

[guest 3] You know,
they even checked the phone records

- and they proved she never got the calls.
- [guest 4] That's right.

[guest 3] Twenty-five years
she's been telling that story.

[host] She'll tell anyone who will listen.
It's honestly so pathetic.

- [guest 3] Crazy.
- [host] She's, like, on another level.

- I know.
- She is certifiable.

- [host chuckles] You're so right, Kris.
- She's nuts. Yes.

[host] It was the first thing she did

- when she got here.
- [Kris clears throat]

[host] Hmm.

[smacks lips]

Um, do you think you could
grab a picture of us?

- [guest 2] Oh.
- Yeah. Sure.

- Great.
- [host] All right.

Come on, ladies. Everybody get together.

Yeah. Back there. Come on.

Get my best side. [chuckles]

- All my friends together.
- Oh, yes.

Say wine and cheese.

- There we go.
- [guests cheer, chuckle]

- Well…
- [host] You see, we only have, like, two.

- I know.
- That's a good one.

- Later on.
- Later.

[crickets chirping]

[door opens]

[eerie music plays]

[inhales deeply, sighs]

[Patricia whispering]
"What don't you love about yourself?"

I care too much

what other people think.

Hmm.

[sighs]

"Feeling like you could die tomorrow
and no one would notice?

Well, that could be.

But the right party can change that."

[hopeful music playing]

"The perfect hostess exudes confidence,

effortless and elegant."

"Elegant."

"Suddenly, everyone knows you
as someone who throws great parties.

All it takes is one
to change people's minds.

All it takes is one great party
to change your life."

Rosemary, here are the supplies.

And Dale, you're gonna need a turntable
'cause you're gonna DJ.

[chuckles] I've never done that before.

Oh, you're gonna have them all dancing.

There won't be a single moment of silence.

Each song will blend
seamlessly to the next.

Everyone's gonna talk about that night
they danced at Sunset c*ck

and that is all gonna be down to you.

Okay, maybe you should hire someone.

[Patricia] You'll be fine.

[stammers]

[pensive music playing]

[exhales deeply]

[sighs]

[breathes deeply]

[sighs]

[hopeful music playing]

Okay, so we're gonna put
the floral arrangements up here.

I want that to be
the first thing people see,

and we're gonna need to move some tables
out of here for the dance floor,

or do you think
that'll make it look too big?

I don't know.

Okay. Well, um, what's next?

I got catering,
which I'm thinking about kind of…

Um…

[country pop music playing on speakers]

- [Shelby] Totally my fault.
- [Kris] Yeah, I'm starving.

[friend] All right. Me too.

Um, we were thinking about…
Well, let's get some oysters.

- This is cute.
- Thank you.

And I know you like shrimp c*ck,

- so we could get a bit of everything.
- Yeah, shrimp is good.

Um, I don't know,
we could all get soup if we want.

I'll probably get a burger.

Hello.

Um…

So I'm not sure if you heard,

but I'm throwing a party
here tomorrow night.

Do you mean the municipal event?

Yeah, Kris, the city's sponsoring it,
but I'm the chair and it's my party,

so you're more than welcome to come.

But I'd RSVP
'cause space is pretty limited

and we're expecting a lot of people.

Everybody's going to Bill Rooney's
birthday at the Elks Lodge tomorrow.

Oh, Bill's having a party?

Um… Well, that's actually a relief 'cause,
what with all the tourists,

I was worried that we'd have
to turn people away at the doors.

[chuckles] Oh, I think you'll be okay.

Enjoy your lunch.

- Thanks.
- [Shelby] Yeah.

[inhales deeply]

- [Kris] No one is going to that.
- [group snickering]

[Kris] Seriously.

[unsettling, discordant music playing]

[music continues]

I mean, there were probably


It's like she wrote down every song
she's ever heard in her life.

- And then she...
- [Rosemary clears throat]

Where are we with RSVPs
for Sunset c*ck?

[stammers]

Zero people.

Why'd you even hand me this?
Just say no one's RSVP'd.

[stammers]

I didn't want to.

Oh.

The Elks Lodge isn't permitted to have
more than 30 nonmembers at a time.

Call Glen. Tell him Bill Rooney's
big birthday tonight is canceled,

unless he wants me
to unleash hell on their little club

when their liquor license
is up for renewal.

[unsettling, discordant music playing]

[mouse clicks]

[mouse clicks]

[tapping on keyboard]

[Bechir sighs] Okay, Loftis.
Let's waste my time.

[sighs]

Mayor called to see
if you found that old lady yet.

Driscoll, do you think
I'm here for my own entertainment?

I mean, it's not like I'm back here
watching, uh, Footloose.

Copy that.

[taps on keyboard]

[taps on keyboard]

[eerie music playing]

[taps on keyboard]

[ominous music playing]

What the hell?

[crickets chirping]

[unsettling music playing]

[chopping continues]

Listen. I'm…

[chopping stops]

[chopping resumes]

I'm a little worried
you're putting too much into this thing.

I…

I didn't even understand
half the stuff on that supply list.

And might I suggest a different headpiece?

Rosemary, I don't need
your negativity right now.

Just be supportive.

[chopping continues]

[Rosemary] I can't do
anything right today.

[breathing heavily]

[taps on microphone]

[mic feedback]

[Dale] Check, check, one, two.

Check, check, check, check one, two.

Check, check, check one, two.

- Check, check, check, check one, two.
- [inhales sharply]

Check, check, check one, two.

Check, check...

It started 15 minutes ago.
Why are you still saying, "check"?

It's a surprisingly complicated system.

- This is death, Dale.
- Okay, I'm gonna try something...

Hi there! Are you two visiting
from out of town?

- Yeah.
- Great! We're just getting started.

Okay, cool. [chuckles]

- We'll circle back.
- No! Come, have a drink.

Okay. So this is the dance floor,
if you wanna get your boogie on.

Um, or not, you know. [chuckles]

Um, have you met Dr. Calvin Morgan?

I'm sure he'll have a great medical story.

I'm off the clock tonight, Patricia.

[Ruth] I've got a good one for you.

It started in the foot.

[huffs] Oh, my God. Damn it!

What? What?

They're sitting right at the entrance
and I was trying to dress the room,

you know what I'm saying?

[softly] I got it.

- All right, fuggos, let's go.
- No, no, no, no.

[Kurt] You're out of deviled eggs.

Okay. I'll get those… get the, uh…

[unsettling, discordant music playing]

To who?

- [line ringing]
- [inhales sharply, exhales deeply]

Well, Tom, I don't know where you are,

but I am at the event…

that you said you would be at!

[inhales deeply, exhales shakily]

- Where are the good-looking people?
- I don't know.

Did you see where
the good-looking people went?

Has anyone seen the good-looking people?

Oh, I see them.
They're at the top of the stairs.

[snickering] Oh, my God.

- [Rosemary] They are good-looking.
- [Ruth] Oh. Oh, yes. Gorgeous.

- Yeah.
- [snickering continues]

- ["This Is How We Do It" playing]
- Okay, come on!

Whoo! Party! All right.

[advertiser on speakers]
Affected by male-pattern baldness?

Come see how we do it...

- Why is there an ad?
- [guests snickering]

I don't have premium.

- Good night, Patricia.
- What? No, it's just… It's too early.

[group whispering]

[bachelorette party chattering]

[cheering]

Let's get these bachelorettes shots!

[cheering]

["Only You Know What I Like" playing]

Crab cake? Crab cake?

- Uh, crab cake?
- Oh.

Mmm. This is delicious.

- [chuckles]
- Is it your recipe?

If I said yes, would you believe me?

You shouldn't. [snickering]

Uh, I'm gonna get some more crab cakes.

[Kris] Seriously, what the f*ck
is on her head? [chuckles]

[group snickering]

[inhales deeply]

Why are you always so nasty to me?

Oh, here we go.

Look who gets to play victim again.

You know what, Kris,
I don't even care if you believe me.

He came to my house,
and I hid under the bed, and he...

You hid under the bed?

Oh, my God. I… I didn't know that.

Guys, she hid under her bed.

How clever.

I can't believe none
of the other girls thought to hide.

Oh, wait, they did.

Samantha was stabbed
and then she hid in the dryer.

Of course, he turned it on
and, well, she baked to death.

And Jen… Jen hid under her covered pool,
but he was already waiting there for her.

But you… You hid under a bed.

That must be his kryptonite.

- He can't look under beds.
- I…

I don't know why he didn't find me,
but he was there and I...

Just let it go!

Let it go.

My friends died.

And you are just so,
so starved for attention

that you had to make that about you.

[tense, eerie music playing]

[sobbing]

[music stops]

- [imitates yawning]
- I'm-I'm sorry,

I thought this was the bathroom.

[sobbing]

[music resumes]

[sniffles]

[sniffles, exhales sharply]

[gulps]

[ominous music playing]

[exhales]

["Let's Dance" playing]

Punch is served!

[cheering]

Come on, let's dance.

Oh… [chuckles] …sorry.

[yelps, chuckles]

[partner, on radio]
This one in Hingham has a den.

I could use it as a craft room.

How about a craft beer room?
I've been thinking about brewing my own.

Funny way of asking for a divorce.

[laughs]

Isn't your shift over?

Uh, well, Loftis is convinced that, uh,

there's some crazy old lady on the loose.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and she's waiting
for you to come home.

I'm on my way.

Oh, oh. Can you pick up
some mint chocolate chip?

Already on it.

[Driscoll] Got a noise complaint
at the Salty Whale.

I don't care.

It's Patricia's event.
Should I shut it down?

Uh…

Uh, no. No, I'll go myself.

[engine starts]

["The Rhythm of the Night" playing]

[ominous music playing]

[chuckles]

[coughs] Oh! [chuckles]

Sorry. [chuckles]

Um, I'm a little nervous. [chuckles]

- [chuckling]
- You've got this, baby.

[chuckles]

[inhales deeply]

It means so much
that you're all here tonight.

It's such a wonderful night for our town.

Um… [clicks tongue]

I'm kind of at a loss
for words honestly. [chuckles]

- [crowd chuckles]
- Aw!

[hopeful music playing]

[sighs]

"As I look around this room
at friends old and new…

I feel grateful.

For there is always time to change
the course of history.

And tonight, tomorrow starts today."

- To new beginnings! [laughs]
- [cheering, laughing]

Cheers. [laughs]

- [all cheering]
- Cheers!

Let's go down to the cove for the bonfire.

[crowd cheers]

[Shelby] Let's go, Patricia.

- Oh. [laughs]
- [guest] Yeah, Patricia!

Yeah, I'll just get some more punch.

- [guest 2] Yeah. Let's go!
- Come on. [chuckles]

[clears throat]

[sighs] What's your problem?

I didn't understand
one word of that speech.

I know that you asked me to be supportive,
but I have my qualms.

That's all I'm gonna say.

[door opens]

[Patricia] Bechir! Finally off duty?

Uh, no. No, I, uh…

I had a noise complaint.

Oh. [inhales sharply]
Sorry, I guess people are having fun.

[chuckling]

[unsettling music playing]

[whispers] Patricia.

What, uh…

What the f*ck are you doing?

[sinister music playing]

[whimpers] Oh, my God.

[pants] Oh, my God. [breathes shakily]

[Rosemary] We tried to tell her.

[Patricia] You had your qualms?

- Why didn't you say anything?
- You told me to be supportive!

[breathing heavily]

What have I… What have I done?

[tense music playing]

[ominous music playing]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no. [panting]

Oh, my God.

[breathing shakily]

Oh, no. No.

[breathes heavily]

Oh, my God.

[tense, ominous music playing]

- [footsteps running]
- [Patricia breathing heavily]

[all groaning]

You guys! What are you doing?

Stop! Stop!

Stop!

- Get back! [grunting]
- [groaning resumes]

[grunts] Get back! Whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa! Why is no one listening?

I told you it's for… [exclaims]

What the hell is going on?

- Just…
- [groaning continues]

…get them out! Save them!

[stammers] Come on.
[stammers] Everybody, stay here!

Stay here! Hey! Excuse me, hey!
Get outta here!

Oh, sh*t. Come here.

Hey! You!

[grunts] Hey, come here!

Out of the water! Out of the water!

Everybody, get outta here! Go!

[panting]

Rescue station one,
this is Sheriff Clemmons.

All available fire and rescue
to Patricia's c*ck.

I don't know what the f*ck is going on!

Hey! No, ma'am. Back this way!

[screams]

[Patricia panting] What?

[straining]

No, this way. Get back here!

[breathing heavily] That'll k*ll 'em.

- [groaning]
- [voices echoing]

[voice groaning, howling]

[wood cracking]

[Bechir] Come here! Come here.

Out of the water. Stop!

[music stops]

[all mumbling indistinctly]

What the f*ck happened?

[breathing heavily, sighs]

Oh, my God.

We were drugged.

It was that g*dd*mn punch.

It was her g*dd*mn punch!

She drugged us!

[tires screech]

[Tom] Patricia?

You okay?

No.

Something bad happened at the party.

It went wrong.

Ah, you can file that under
"deal with it the f*ck later."

[Tom] Why don't…

Why don't you just get in with us?

We might need your help.

[gentle music playing]

Come on.

[tires squeal]

- [Patricia] What was wrong with him?
- [Tom] I don't know.

He just sounded scared.

[Wyck] Because he knows something.

[ominous music playing]

Bryce!

[Tom shushes]

[sighs]

[chilling music playing]

[sinister music playing]