02x05 - Scottish Fey

[bunniefuu]

[Jeremy] Wow, man. Oh, my--

-Thank you.

-[Seth] Right on time.

[Jeremy] Yummy.

-Yes. That’s for you.

-Oh, thank you.

Oh, is that my ring light?

Uh, yeah, it just came.

-Oh, yes!

-Are you, uh--

Are you doing audition tapes,

or what’s up?

Oh, no, those are for my, uh, my Cameos.

Yeah, I’m, uh, getting

some negative feedback

on, like, my image quality, so

Oh, look at that.

Listen to a little feedback.

You’re like a regular,

uh, Charli D’Amelio.

It’s a similar thing. I’m trying to--

She puts forth a really good product,

and I wanna put forth

a really good product, so

You should do, um,

some audition tapes with it too.

Yeah? You ever thought about that?

Oh, I almost forgot.

[humming]

Something here.

What the f*ck is this?

-Getting me a gift?

-I know you’ve been having

kind of a hard time lately.

You know, getting over Sarah

hasn’t been easy.

I know that it was really rough

having to finally unfollow her

on Instagram.

Um, so this--

You did unfollow her, right?

-Yeah.

-Seriously?

Yeah, dude. Totally.

Did you unfollow her

from any other accounts?

Sarah knows that I unfollowed

her from Seth Stewart,

so, like, she already knows

I don’t even care anymore.

This is about what you know, okay?

You don’t need to know

that she’s been doing squat training

and the results are incredible.

Do you follow her?

It doesn’t matter

if I follow her, okay?

She didn’t dump me.

-And anyways--

-But you’re my friend.

The point is, I got you this

because I’m proud of you.

I wanted to get you something

that reminds you of who you are.

Because tonight’s a big night, you know?

Stand-up routine.

You’ve been workin'

really hard on it, so

Yup.

A knife.

A knife with multiple blades.

Yeah, it’s, uh-- Wow.

For my friend who can do it all.

That’s very sweet of you.

I-I appreciate it.

-[Jeremy] Yeah, man.

-I mean, honestly,

thank you for everything, man.

I mean, letting me crash

at your place now,

and just making this whole,

like, breakup landing

a lot softer.

I’m just returning the favor.

You know what? I actually--

I need to go run it

by Andrea and Izzy.

They’re gonna listen to it

before I do the show.

That’s a good idea.

-So

-No, no, no. I got it. I got it.

-I’ll clean up.

-I can clear it, at least.

[Jeremy] I got all this now. Just relax.

[upbeat jazz playing]

[Andrea groans]

[gasps]

[sighs]

Alexa.

Tell me about mental health.

[Alexa] Mental health

encompasses emotional,

psychological,

and social well-being,

influencing cognition,

perception, and behavior.

It likewise determines

how an individual handles stress,

interpersonal relationships,

and decision-making.

Mental health includes

subjective well-being,

perceived self-efficacy,

autonomy, competence,

intergenerational dependence,

and self-actualization

of one’s intellectual

and emotional potential, among others.

[laughs] Good morning.

Good morning.

Last night was fun, no?

There’s an amazing café

right down the hill.

I’ve been to it.

But I didn’t tell you the name.

Morning.

[French man] Bonjour.

We up for some breakfast?

Yeah, I, uh, already ask her.

She say no.

No? It’s the most

important meal of the day.

Why wouldn’t you

wanna have breakfast?

Oh, no-- you’re so sweet.

You really are.

We, um-- We’ve actually got

an incredibly busy day

that starts right now.

-So

-You sure?

I'm-- I’m very sure.

Thank you, though

If you want to stay here,

I can-- I can make something.

-Oh. No, that’s okay.

-I’m moving back to Australia.

I actually don’t--

I’m probably not gonna eat anything.

-I’m good, but you--

-Okay.

So lovely to meet you.

-If you can just close the gate.

-The-- The gate, yeah. The gate.

-[Izzy] Thank you.

-[speaks French]

-Bon voyage.

-Bonjour.

Yup, egg and--

two egg and bacon rolls.

They’re coming.

They’re gonna buzz soon. And you--

Mm, yes. Thank you.

Oh, God, that’s just heaven.

Will you just listen out for that?

[pensive music plays]

[grunts]

Please. Dude.

[exclaims, grunts]

[sighs]

People always talk

about sh1tting your pants

like it’s a bad thing.

No one talks about where it’s a good time

to sh*t your pants.

Like Buddhist temple. Mm-hmm.

No judgment.

I’m Seth Stewart,

and now I know why

my girlfriend broke up with me.

Thank you all.

That’s good,

I-I just don’t know sometimes

if I’m gonna laugh at the wrong time.

I just get worried about that.

Oh, people usually just laugh

when they find something funny.

[snickers]

-It’s good.

-Is that exactly how you’re gonna--

how you're gonna do it?

-Yeah, it is.

-I think it’s great.

[Izzy] It’s about the crowd, right?

It’s about the energy.

It’s about drunken people

having a good time

and not, you know, hungover.

Drunken people.

I’m gonna sh*t my pants, aren’t I?

-[Izzy] No. No, no, no.

-[Andrea] No. I’m gonna throw you a party.

I’m gonna host the after-party.

Would you like that?

I honestly am gonna wanna

drink heavily after this.

That’s what I would-- I’m gonna--

I’m gonna whip this place up

and we’re gonna celebrate.

-This is gonna be a roaring success.

-Yeah.

-That’s nice of you.

-Izzy’s better with this,

so I’m gonna leave you to it.

But you? Bold.

Bold choices, Seth.

You just go in there and you own it

and stick to it, okay?

I believe in you, man.

-Thank you.

-I believe in you.

I’ve always believed in you.

-Thank you. I appreciate it.

-Yeah. It’s good. It’s funny.

Isn't-- Isn’t this all a bold choice?

Yes.

Sorry to put you through this.

No, I’m sorry

that we’re so sh*t right now.

Is it just 'cause you guys are hungover?

-Yes. Very much so.

-Okay.

So, but, um, like,

what feedback are you working with

at the moment?

Uh, I told a couple jokes to Jeremy.

-Yeah?

-Mm-hmm.

He didn’t really

have much in the way of words.

-Yeah, he just kinda stared at me.

-Okay.

But then, like, um

Uh, sorry, what’s your girlfriend’s name?

What’s her name?

I’m blanking on it.

I’m sorry, that’s so rude.

-Sarah.

-Sarah. Yeah.

So, I mean, Sarah would be

a fantastic objective opinion.

But she’s not my girlfriend anymore.

That’s why

Oh, that was true.

That part’s true, yeah.

-Oh!

-Mm-hmm.

I’m sorry.

Put her on her own ship, and let her sail.

Although I didn’t break up with her.

She-- She broke up with me.

-Oh.

-But, hey,

-I’m sorry about Oliver.

-Yeah.

-What the f*ck?

-Yeah, what the f*ck?

How did you know?

Well, I just-- I just heard

the engagement’s no longer.

Oh, that’s it.

-Yeah.

-That’s all you--

-Are you--

-There’s like--

Never mind. Yeah, same thing.

Better off without.

-Mm.

-That’s what I think.

Well, listen, for real, so proud of you.

You literally couldn’t pay me

any amount of money

to do what you’re doing,

and I’m really impressed.

And I think it’s gonna be hilarious,

because you’re still

the funniest person I’ve ever met.

So I think at this point,

all you need is just some, like,

really objective feedback.

Hmm. Yeah.

Just, like, brutal honesty

from someone.

You know what?

I think I know just the person.

Yeah?

[upbeat jazz playing]

[faint, indistinct chatter]

so if you don’t hear

from me in like 45 minutes,

please call the cops

'cause I’m probably dead at his house.

Yeah. All right. Bye, babe.

No. No, it’s too much.

[sighs]

[knock on door]

-Hey. What’s up? How you doing?

-Hey. How’s it going?

Yeah, come on in.

Thanks for coming over.

Of course. This a new place?

Eh. So-so, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I’ve been here for a while.

-[laughs]

-I don’t want to take up

too much of your time, uh, so, yeah,

we could just get right to it

if you want to come back here

to the master bedroom.

Oh, is that where your--

Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

that’s where the studio is.

-It's-- It’s in your room?

-Yeah, yeah.

You know, the stool--

I went with, like, a stool

'cause it doesn’t have a back,

so you can sort of see more

of the background, you know.

Right, so you can see, like,

your old face with your face now.

Like, right there.

-Oh.

-But good choice.

I mean

Yes, take a look. Take a look, um

You know, I’m gonna be really honest.

Um, I want to say I see potential,

but this is just like really sad.

I don’t really know what it is

you’re trying to convey.

Like, I don’t know what the brand is.

I don't know what, like--

Okay, okay, um, a little bit more

about what I’m working with.

I’ve got a tripod,

and then I’ve got

a couple of ring lights.

I’m working out the ring light--

I’m sorry, did you say tripod?

Wait, what is this for?

Right now it’s for my Cameos, because--

Do people even use Cameo anymore?

I make pretty good money,

yeah, yeah. Definitely.

-I mean--

-I mean, there’s a lot of people on there.

Brian Cox is on there.

Connie Britton is on there.

Um

I think if you want to make,

like, real money,

you might wanna use, like, TikTok.

We’re gonna get rid of the tripod

and we’re gonna go with this.

This is more of a handheld kind of thing.

It’s what everyone’s using on TikTok.

Oh, is that what that is?

My own invention, so.

Can I touch-- Can I touch it?

-Yeah, sure. Just very lightly.

-Okay.

Uh, what’s your email?

Uh, Jeremy

Okay.

D81--

-Is that the year you were born?

-No.

[upbeat percussive music playing]

Hi.

Where are you going?

[music continues playing]

[laughs]

[clears throat]

[Phil] Yeah. Okay.

You maniac!

All right, yeah,

have fun in Albuquerque.

I’ll call you later.

Be sure to go to that--

the steak-- the steakhouse.

It’s in the back of a liquor store.

Trust me, it’s fantastic.

[chuckles] Trust me, it’s great.

All right, bye.

Oh!

-Phil.

-Seth Stewart!

-[laughs]

-You b*stard.

-It’s good to see you, man.

-Son of a b*tch.

All right, I need your help.

Okay, what is it?

Jumping into stand-up comedy.

-Ooh, f*ck

-I’m just doin', like, a one-time show.

Open mic night, and I was hoping

that maybe you could

take a look at what I’m doin' here.

You have to do this, or is this optional?

-I have to do it.

-Really?

-sh**t.

-Look, I’ve been practicing a lot.

I’ve been doin' a lot of writing.

I make myself laugh from time to time.

So, I feel like

that’s probably a good thing.

All right, let's--

let's-- let’s do it.

-Ahem! Do you have a cigarette?

-No. Sorry.

That’s okay, I got some right here.

[Seth] So my, uh, girlfriend

broke up with me.

f*ck. There’s a lot of smiling.

It feels like you’re begging for me

to enjoy your performance.

Look, I got a lot of notes.

I don’t need to see the rest.

What-- What did you see?

Stop talking.

I’m willing to help you

under two conditions.

A, you are 100% fully committed.

B, I need you to taper my neckline.

I got some spoolie-oolies back there,

I just can’t reach 'em.

-I need some help.

-Okay, so, like a buzzer?

Straight-blade razor.

Okay. I’ve never used

one of those before.

[sighs] Here’s the deal.

I don’t trust you. I never have.

So I’m giving you

complete control over me.

Look, you’re the master.

I’m the apprentice here.

So whatever you think

I should be doing better with that,

I’ll do it.

Let’s get weird.

Okay.

-[Phil] That’s good. That’s great.

-All right.

[Phil] Don’t be shy back there.

Hello, everyone. I am Seth Stewart.

-I am--

-Are you doin' it?

-Is this the thing?

-Yeah.

-That's it?

-Yeah.

Let's-- Let’s start again. Start again.

What’s up, everybody?

I am Seth Stewart--

No, no, start again.

Can you do less? Less.

Okay, I am not a comic,

but I do have childhood trauma.

[laughs]

-Okay

-It’s starting to play.

Some squats in here. Get fired up.

[both yell]

My, uh, agent’s here tonight.

That’s not funny! You suck!

[Phil] Good, all right, let’s start again,

let's start again, one more time.

Say it like you’re

a 1930s radio announcer.

Hey, everybody, I’m, uh--

I'm Seth Stewart

-Use the tongue. [flutters tongue]

-I do have childhood trauma.

-"I’m Seth Stewart."

-I’m Seth Stewart.

"A little bit of childhood trauma."

A little bit of childhood trauma.

What kind of underwear are you wearing?

-Boxers.

-Boxers?

Seth, look at my p*nis.

Put on some tighty whities, Seth!

Give me your underwear!

Take off your pants in front of me!

Yeah.

-Yeah. You feel it?

-Okay.

Yeah, you feel it.

Yeah, right?

[exhales] I gotta go.

Let me tell you

somethin' real quick, okay?

-You focused? Are you present?

-Yeah.

It doesn’t matter

if you f*ck this whole thing up.

If you fail, if you b*mb,

it doesn’t matter.

It’s better to live a life of humiliation

than to have a death with dignity.

Gary Busey told me that.

I gotta go.

-Phil.

-Yeah?

-My underwear.

-Yeah, I’m gonna keep these.

Is that cool?

Okay.

[Jeremy] Is that what Botox looks like?

-Turn to me.

-Oh, my God.

-Turn to me.

-This is--

Is this non-toxic?

I'm-- I mean, it’s your tape, honey.

You tell me.

No, it’s not working.

-Just gonna

-Um-- Ah!

I can't-- I can’t figure this out.

I just can’t.

There’s something--

It’s just not working. And I can't--

-Oh, careful with that!

-Oh.

Sorry about that. You all right?

Um, sorry about

Yeah.

Okay, I recently got sober

and, uh, as it turns out,

I have a bit of temper.

But, you know, it-- it’s really

just my own stuff, you know?

I’m not like a violent person

or anything like that.

So it’s not really anything

to worry about.

Listen, sobriety’s hard.

Honestly, congrats. That’s huge.

Thanks. Yeah.

Okay. I’m not a f*cking therapist.

But it seems to me like the anger issues

are coming from somewhere.

So you gotta do

a little soul-searching or something.

Figure out how to deal with it,

because otherwise,

this sh*t’s just gonna consume you.

Do you wanna go

to a comedy show tonight?

Sorry, what?

Um, my friend, he’s just doing, like,

five minutes of stand-up comedy and--

I’m good.

-Oh, no?

-No.

Okay, like-- Okay, cool.

[indistinct chattering]

Hey!

-[laughs]

-Jesus.

-f*ck me, man.

-Sorry. A little on edge, huh?

I’m a little nervous, but ready to go.

I didn’t think you were actually

gonna go through with this, like

-You kidding?

-What?

I’m doin' this for you.

You don’t actually

have to go up there.

This is-- This is funny enough.

-All right?

-I-I’m going, yeah.

You just make sure you can listen.

And find a seat

where you can see everything.

-I’m gonna prove your a*s wrong.

-I’m gonna record it.

-On what?

-My phone.

-No. No, you’re not.

-Yeah.

We don’t have any footage of you.

We have nothing.

Footage for what?

To-- To submit

to casting directors. Come on.

We’re not submitting this

to casting directors.

This is just for you.

This is to prove you wrong.

And then we go

to casting directors and say,

"Yes, I have a client

that can be funny."

Okay, well, go knock ’em dead, all right?

Hey, and good f*cking call

on the obscure venue.

What the f*ck is this place?

Knock ’em dead, funny boy.

[sighs]

f*ck. How do you spell "nostalgia"?

-N-U-S-T--

-It’s not "U."

N-- N-O-S-T-A-L-G-I-A.

Ah. Okay.

What are you doing?

-Uh, TikTok.

-[Andrea] TikTok?

Yeah. Aly made it for me, actually.

She’s helping me with all this

social media stuff.

Check it out.

We cross-pollinated

for, um, engagements.

Is that the Disney chick

from Izzy’s party?

Are you two a thing now, or--

-No, we’re not a thing.

-Yeah?

She just helped me

make a post and, you know

Whatever. Who cares?

What if it is a thing?

You gotta get back out there

sometime, right?

Izzy, right?

[emcee] What’s up, guys?

Welcome to the best damn

comedy show!

Yeah!

We got a couple celebrities here.

The Eternal boys are here.

They’re poor now.

They’re not doin' much. [chuckles]

Okay, no one cares. Perfect, yeah.

And guys, it’s that time,

about to bring the man of the hour.

Clap around for Seth Stewart!

-Let him hear it!

-[applause]

[Jeremy] Whoo!

-Yeah, Seth!

-Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

You, um

Hmm? Huh?

Ah.

-[laughter]

-Thank you.

All right, you guys have

a good night tonight.

Just kidding.

Probably have seen me

on Eternal, perhaps.

Oh, we got-- we got--

we got one. That’s cool.

Yeah, but they call it a "YA" show.

"YA." It’s a "Young Adult."

Mm-hmm. Now I’m gonna be doing

the old kids’ shows.

[chuckles]

"OK’s."

Um, yeah, um

Sorry, I’m a little dry.

I am not a comic. Mm-mm.

But I do have

some childhood trauma, so

[exhales]

Um, you know, China is--

[whispering] Seth, next joke.

Um, you know who is here tonight,

is my agent, Jason Reiss.

Yup. It’s likely the last time

I’m ever gonna see him.

[laughter]

Um

Yeah, I was wondering,

like, why is it, like,

anytime you break up with somebody,

everything reminds you of them?

Why-- Why is that?

I was havin' breakfast this morning,

and it reminded me of my girlfriend.

She didn’t even eat breakfast.

Never even made me breakfast.

[chuckling]

Um, yeah, so,

now I know why my girlfriend

broke up with me.

Yeah! Let him hear it!

Come on, come on!

Come on, let him hear it!

Dude, he’s-- he's definitely

gonna do porn.

-That was funny.

-Shut up.

[upbeat music playing]

[Jason] Seth, Seth.

[laughs]

-Here, try this.

-No, I got-- I got a drink.

Oh!

Okay, let’s not do that again, all right?

No, please don’t ever make me

do that ever again.

That was horrible.

It was a little hard to watch.

-Really?

-There was some funny moments there, man.

I had a good time.

I’m proud of you for doin' this.

So you’re sayin'

Let’s get that comedy audition, okay?

-You’re gonna talk to a casting director?

-I'm gonna talk to a casting director?

-Are you drunk?

-A little bit.

-Are you okay to drive?

-I’m totally fine.

Actually, I gotta go.

I gotta go wash my car.

-Have you had a lot of those?

-I’ll talk to you, okay?

-Okay. All right.

-Talk to you soon.

-Oh, man!

-Oh, my God, dude.

-Thanks for the holler.

-I think he did a great job.

I mean, you gotta give him one thing,

he committed to that.

He’s never not pushing himself.

Makes me want to push myself.

-Does it?

-Yeah.

No, I don’t want that.

Oh, come off it.

You can’t actually be mad at me.

You’ve banged,

like, 14 dudes since Jeremy.

-Fourteen?

-Yeah.

-Fourteen.

-You’re ridiculous.

I’m not pissed off at you, okay?

I just wasn’t expecting

to have that kind of reaction

to Jeremy clearly moving on,

and now I’m f*cking pissed off

and feeling extremely hungover,

and I just feel like an idiot.

Are you two having conversations

behind my back?

Oh, come now.

Okay, I hear you.

I hear you.

I think that tonight,

we’re just gonna have

a fantastic night.

Tomorrow, we’re gonna circle back.

We’re gonna look at that.

It’s interesting.

But tonight

I mean

[both laugh]

I feel like we just have to

be there for Seth tonight.

-Love you.

-Love you.

Dickhead.

Let’s go get him drunk.

He needs it.

-Yes, absolutely.

-Can we get four more of those?

For the comic.

It’s TikTok, it’s not the Internet.

People are gonna think

I’m trying to be a comedian, dude.

Oh, come on.

I got Jason’s permission.

You asked Jason? M-My agent?

The one who set me up to do this tonight?

Who else am I supposed to ask

but your agent for permission, okay?

-Just give it a second.

-Delete it. Delete it.

Give it a second!

-Jesus.

-All right.

-Hey!

-Oh!

Let’s go, dingoes. Back to the crib.

Let’s get f*cked up.

Catch up, catch up, they’re both yours.

They're both yours.

You have a little cranberry.

Oh, thank you for coming.

[chanting] Seth! Seth! Seth! Seth!

-[music playing]

-[Izzy] Alexa, turn it up.

Do you want a shot?

[all] Yay!

[Jeremy] Do it.

Do it for fun. Have these, and then do it.

-Ah. Yes.

-Yes?

Yes!

Now I’m gonna do shows

for old kids.

-[laughs]

-Yeah. Yeah.

[all gasping]

[upbeat music playing]

[Izzy] Ooh!

Okay, okay.

[both laugh]

It’s good we can have a chat,

just the two of us.

I’m glad they’re gone.

-You know?

-Yeah. Yeah.

We never get to do this anymore,

and I've been--

and I’ve been really looking forward

to it myself, actually.

So I just wanna hear how everything is.

And, you know, I'm not--

I’m not interrogating you.

-I just think--

-What do you wanna talk about?

Oh, what’s going on with Aly?

-[laughs]

-Aly?

Let’s start there. Yeah.

-Aly?

-Yeah.

Don’t be afraid.

Like, I’m excited for you. I’m happy.

I’m happy for you.

What makes you happy,

it makes me happy.

Oh, okay. I d-- I don’t know

I mean, there’s not really much to tell.

Oh, come on. You don’t

Well, we’ve only hung out once, you know?

I mean, I would definitely

hang out with her again.

She’s really smart and funny,

and she’s really honest.

And, um, obviously

she’s-- she's really beautiful.

-[laughs]

-So, I think I’d definitely

-Okay, all right.

-call her and see--

All right. Chill out, bro.

That’s, uh--

Jesus f*cking Christ.

Wow. Throw a party. f*cking hell.

[laughs] God!

-Did I say something wrong?

-You know, I just--

It’s interesting.

You know, where you’re going,

what you’re up to.

What-- What really concerns me,

as y-- as your friend, is

just the endgame, Jay.

Like, you know, have you thought

about the fact

that she’s 15 years younger than you?

And, like, what’s gonna happen

when-- when she realizes,

because she’s so, so, young,

in a couple of years,

"Oh, I’m dating an older man."

[chuckles] And she’s a TikTok star.

Which is fine, I mean, I d--

I don’t have any problems with that.

But, now you’re a TikTok star,

do you know what I mean?

-Those are all valid concerns, I guess.

-Yeah.

Not really sure

where this conversation’s going, so

That’s a really nice picture.

What are you--

Hey, are you okay?

What? I’m fine.

I am fine. I really am.

I just, um

This isn’t about Aly, is it?

What?

Are you having some

complicated feelings

about me dating again?

Is that what this is?

I mean, it’s okay.

I just-- You don’t have to answer that.

You don’t have to answer that.

No, maybe

Maybe I am. I d-- I don’t know.

Would that be, um

Would that be such a bad thing?

Wouldn’t be a bad thing.

-I don’t--

-Hey, hey. Listen, listen.

Just so you know, not that it matters,

but I’m-- I’m not there yet.

Oh, God, let’s just talk

about something else.

-Oh, for sure.

-I just want to have fun.

[both laughing]

-So funny, isn’t it?

-It’s just crazy.

-Oh!

-This is

-[Seth grunts]

-[laughing]

Oh! Hey!

There’s the stash.

Damn. Nice move.

Thanks.

So, keep one in the bedroom at all times.

Don’t be greedy.

Mm.

Aye, aye, aye.

[laughs]

Boop.

Boop you.

Boop, boop, boop.

[cooing]

[laughs] Okay.

[Izzy sighs]

-I just, uh

-You broke up.

-I just broke up.

-it’s not the best idea.

-You know?

-Blah, blah, blah.

Those relationships were Scottish fey.

-Scottish fey?

-Yeah.

-What?

-Fated to die. Doomed.

I know, but, like, what do you mean?

How would you even know?

Like, you never even met Sarah before.

I mean, maybe your relationship was,

but you don’t know if Sarah and I’s was.

I don’t even know what happened

between you and Oliver.

[exhales]

Maybe we should talk

about it right now.

I don’t wanna talk.

I don’t want to talk about him.

He made me feel terrible,

and I just want to feel good.

Sex-good.

You know me and I know you, and

But it’s never just sex.

You know? It’s like

immediately a sexual relationship.

A relationship that’s based on sex,

that will not evaporate

in a painless fashion

at a convenient time for both parties.

Oh! Okay, I’ll tell you what.

-What?

-Verbal agreement,

because I know

how you love sh*t in writing.

It’s a one-night stand.

I, Isabella, promise that

this is only a one-night stand.

-Are you doing Scout’s honor?

-Mm-hmm.

You’re a bad Scout.

Don’t give me

the Puss-in-Boots eyes.

Come on.

You’re a terrible human being,

you know that?

Just kidding. You’re not terrible.

You love it.

There she goes.

[Seth groans]

Fantastic.

Okay. Mm!

-[Seth] What are you doing?

-[Izzy] Man up, bucko.

Rules are the same. There aren’t any!

[laughs]

-Hey, hey, hey!

-Come on, Seth.

-Ah! Ah!

-Oh!

Sorry. I didn’t--

Like-- I like, love-tapped you.

-Sorry.

-Ow!

-Did I get you?

-Doesn’t take much.

-Sorry.

-[groans]

Oh, my God. I’m sorry.

I mean, do you--

do you want some ice?

No, I don’t want any ice. I--

I-- It’s not that I don’t wanna

have sex with you.

I enjoy having sex with you a lot,

but not tonight means

not tonight, Isabella.

Oh, of course. Not tonight.

f*cking moron.

"Not tonight means

not tonight, Isabella."

Okay, so what about this?

What about just one small,

gentle apology hand job?

No returnsies, unless you want to.

[upbeat music plays]

[exhales]

[car door closes]

Hey, man.

Hey.

Some fro-yo?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

Sounds good.

It’s closed.

Taco Bell Mexican pizza?

Nah.

In-N-Out double doubles

with kid’s sized chocolate shakes?

Okay.

[seat belt clicks]

Seat belt, please.

-Hmm?

-Seat belt.

Oh.

[engine starts]

[poppy dance music playing]

[sighs]

Thanks.

Are we okay?

I think we should say five things

that we’re grateful for.

Okay.

I’m grateful for food.

I’m grateful for true crime documentaries.

[Andrea] I’m grateful for rain.

[Izzy] I’m grateful for salt.

[Andrea] "Sol"? What’s "sol"?

-[Izzy] Salt.

-[Andrea] "Salt."

[Izzy] Mm-hmm.

[poppy dance music resumes]