[electric buzzing]
If you do want me
Gimme little sugar
If you don't want me
Don't lead me on girl
But if you need me,
Show me that you love me
And when I'm feeling blue
And I want you
There's just one thing
That you should do
Just gimme some
Kind of sign girl
Oh, my baby
[on car stereo] To show me
That you're mine girl
Oh, yeah
Just gimme some
Kind of sign girl
Oh, my darling
-Oh, did you bring the turmeric?
-Me?
-It's just us in the car.
-Right...
-Mm.
-I didn't--I didn't--
I didn't--I didn't bring it.
No, I thought--
I thought it would--
I thought it was on your list.
I thought--
-Baby, you said you wanted
to be more involved.
-And I do.
-You do.
But you didn't bring
the turmeric?
-I did not.
-Okay, well,
then we're going
to have to get a divorce.
-That feels right.
-It's a shame.
-Yeah.
-It's been fun.
-It's been a great time.
You know, I would have
rather gotten a divorce
over paprika or something spicy.
[laughing]
Show me
That you're mine girl
Oh, right
[music continues]
-What time are they coming?
-Melanie said she's going
to cook dinner.
-Oh. She any good?
-I don't really think so.
[laughter]
-Just pretend to like it.
-No, what? Of course.
What? I would never just like...
-You look at your plate
at dinner parties
sometimes like
you've been poisoned.
No, that is only when
I don't know what's happening.
-No, if I'm prepared going
into it, then I can deliver.
Watch.
"Mm, oh my God, Melanie.
"This food is unreal.
"You know, I've read
your cookbook six times.
Turmeric,
what a stroke of genius."
- [Debs] Be nice to her.
-[Josh] Of course I'll be nice.
[Josh] Hey, Mitchey!
-Hey, Josh.
-Oh, man.
-Hey.
-Bring it in, brother.
-Yeah.
-Yeah, yeah. Oh.
-Hey. You look great.
-Huh.
-You got to put some chains
on these tires
if you're going
to be off-roading.
-Yeah, I don't think
that's in the cards for the BMW.
[car door closes]
-You're so gorgeous.
-Ah, hey...
-What's different?
-Same old stuff.
-No, it's something fun.
Did you see my doctor?
-No.
-What is it?
-Ah...abject depression?
I don't know.
I'm really not sure.
-I got it. No, no, no.
-You sure?
-Oh, yeah.
-'Cause I can do it.
-Oh, my gosh!
-Sweetie. He knows
-how to carry groceries.
-You just keep it vertical.
-It's something he's done
probably most of his life.
[snowball thrown]
-[Mitch] Really? Serious?
-Why do you look like
you're dressed for a funeral?
-[Mitch] Why do you look like
Winona Ryder
during her klepto phase?
-[laughs]
-[mocking laugh] Come here.
-You're so funny.
-Can't you ever start
with something nice,
-like, "Hey,
-Oh.
Mitch, you look so well rested."
-You do.
-You're my best friend.
-Let me get this.
-"Have you been working out?"
I mean, I haven't,
but you could lie.
-[Debs] You look great.
-[Mitch] Thank you.
-[Debs] I just don't understand
why you didn't change
the outfit.
-[Mitch] Well, I didn't know
we were vacationing
in Santa's workshop.
[Debs laughs]
-[Josh] Right. My turn. Ready?
[present shaking]
-A puppy.
-[laughter]
-Whoa. Oh, my goodness, babe.
-[Mitch] Whoa, yes.
-You like it?
-These are so hard to find.
-I know.
-[Josh] And very expensive.
I know.
-Thank you.
-Of course.
Wow. Mm.
-Okay, okay. Uh, my turn.
-Oh, I hope you like it.
You're so hard to shop for.
-Oh. Wow. It's--
-It's a shirt.
-Wow.
[Melanie giggles]
Mmm!
-It's for going out.
-Uh-huh.
-Remember you said
you wanted to go out more
-so I--
-Uh-huh, yeah.
-Need something for that.
-Great brand.
-Yeah.
-Really great brand.
-And color.
-I love this.
-[Melanie] You do?
-Yes, I love it.
-You'll wear it?
-Yes.
-To the club? Yeah?
-Uh-huh.
[glass dinging]
-[clears throat]
-Cheers.
-Yes.
-Mm-hm.
-Um, thank you all
for being here for this
Christmas-New-Year-thingamajig
weekend,
so that we don't have to
spend time with our families...
-Hallelujah.
-...where we will be relaxing...
-Yes.
-...hiking in the wee hours
of the morning.
-Not me.
-Didn't you just say relaxing?
-...and we will be trying
to generally forget
about politics, Texas,
global warming,
and all the other things
that ruin the possibility
-of a pleasant existence.
-Mm-hm.
-To old friends.
To his lucky break.
And to my lucky break.
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
-Mm! [laughter]
-[glasses clink]
[distant lively chattering]
-[Debs] Six a.m.,
meet me out front.
If we don't get to the top
[indistinct].
[digital clock alarm beeping]
[digital clock alarm stops]
[birds chirping]
[bed creaks]
[]
Morning calls
With its pale light
Will it call the wanderer
[indistinct]
And I wonder how
-[Debs blows raspberry]
Set a lone eye
Lingers in my mind
Fails to taste from
-What time you be back?
-Um, hour or so.
Gotta make it to the top.
-When you get back?
-Ah, I don't know.
Like an hour and
forty-five minutes round trip,
give or take five
depending on the wind.
[smooches]
Sure you don't wanna come?
-[chuckles] Mm-mm. No.
-Okay. Love you.
-Love you.
-[Mitch] Bye.
-Bye-bye.
[door opens]
-Okay.
-You're late.
-We both know that's impossible.
Let's go.
I mean, you don't care
if your mouth smells like it,
but your hand,
that's where you cross the line?
-Yeah, then no one knows
I smoke.
-[Mitch] Debs, everyone
knows you smoke.
Open wide
The sun on me
In the bonds
Of the day light
Turn around
-Mine's gonna be better
than yours.
Mitch! Stop it!
What?! That is so uncalled for.
-Remember when I showed up
at a sh**t
and you were like,
"I know what I want to do.
I want to be an as*h*le."
-I fell in my own pee!
-Can I ask you
a personal question?
And I don't want you
to get upset.
-Yes.
-Do you need a pep talk?
-No. Don't do it.
-I am smart.
-I am going to let you read it
when it exists.
-I am talented.
-[Debs] Ah.
-I have very
interesting world views,
and the only thing
holding me back
is my lower-than-average
self-worth,
given my higher-than-average
personal expectations.
-Yeah, that is correct.
-My friend Mitch
-loves me dearly...
-Yes.
-...and will read any draft
at any time.
-Thank you and amen.
-[Mitch] Amen.
-[Debs] Can I ask you a
question?
-sh**t.
-Why didn't you wear
your new silk shirt?
-Jesus, who am I,
David f*cking Hasselhoff?
-It was a very optimistic gift.
-[Mitch] And Josh.
Josh calling me Mitchey.
-No!
-No.
-I'm very sorry.
-Because like only you
and my mom can call me that.
[distant crow cawing]
Do you, uh, know
where you're going?
-It's a shortcut.
Come on. Hurry.
[birds chirping]
[tree creaking]
-You know what's
super interesting
about this path
is it's not a path at all.
Oh, God.
Hey.
[whispers] Hey, you're gonna get
Lyme disease.
[whispers] Why is he
looking at me?
-[Debs] [whispers]
Oh, my god. Wow.
[tree creaking, cracking]
Oh, sh*t.
-[Debs] Ah!
-[Mitch] Duck!
[tree thuds]
[echo of thud]
-[Debs] God. They're never going
to believe us.
-Of course they will.
-I mean we...
-We have cuts.
-...literally could have died.
We were just like inches.
Just inches from death.
-I need--I need a sec.
-Do you think God is trying
to tell us something?
-Yeah.
Stay on the path.
He hath arisen.
-Eh, it's too early.
He's probably just peeing.
-Oh, wow.
Hey, bud.
Not bad.
Is he flexing
or is he just like that?
-He's just like that.
-as*h*le.
[laughs]
-Jesus, Josh,
go under the covers first.
Honey, we can see you.
Get under the covers.
Don't look.
-Is that...
-I'm sorry. What?
-They can't be. No.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
[coughing]
-You m*therf*cking
piece of sh*t.
Stop it right now!
-Wait...wait...wait!
-Hey!
-Wait. Just wait.
-[muffled] What are you doing?!
-Wait.
-[muffled] We have to stop them!
-[indistinct]
-The longer we wait,
the longer your f*cking wife
gets to f*ck my f*cking husband.
Let me go!
-Damn it. Stop.
[both groan]
-Okay, just calm down.
-What are you doing? This is not
-what you do right now.
-Just shut up! Okay?
-What? Why are you...?
-Just shut up and listen.
-Mitch.
-Listen for one second, okay?
Think about what's
about to happen.
We go in there,
we confront them.
They end up leaving us
for each other.
They try it out for two months
but it doesn't work out.
So they beg us
to come back to them.
But we are too bitter
and angry to say yes.
So each one of us ends up
depressed, angry, and lonely,
masturbating on our couches.
Because of this moment.
Because of how we handle
this moment right here.
-Mitch, I can't pretend
I didn't see it.
How can you pretend
you didn't see it?
-I don't f*cking know, Deb.
I don't f*cking know.
-But all I'm asking...
-This does not...
-All I'm asking
is that you just,
just give me the time
to think about it.
I'm just asking you
not to go in there
and blow up both of our lives
before we have had a chance
to plan next steps.
That's it. That's it.
[sighs] Just wait.
[both panting]
-Okay.
-Okay.
-Okay.
-Okay.
-Okay.
[Debs] God.
-What time did they say?
-Uh, should be about now.
-Okay. You take cream?
-Black.
-Here.
-Look.
-Hey.
[door opens]
-They're here.
-[Mitch clears throat]
-[Melanie] Baby.
-[Josh] Hey, there she is.
-[Melanie] You're back!
-[Josh] Oh.
-[Melanie] Did you make it
to the top of the mountain?
[upbeat music]
-[Mitch] Cop?
- Yeah, an undercover cop.
-Oh, my god.
-Your best friend in high school
was an undercover cop.
-Only I didn't know
that at the time. Right.
Only later after the drug bust,
the school admitted that Gerald
was not, in fact Gerald.
-[Melanie] You guys, you...
you...you did drugs together?
-Hell, yeah.
-[Melanie chuckles]
-[Josh] Yeah. I mean,
if you wanted it,
Gerald could get it, man.
That was
[indistinct chatter echoes]
-Is anyone else cold?
I'm just freezing.
-I'm okay.
-I don't think the
heater's blowing, actually.
-I was going to call if that's--
-I'll just call.
-[Josh] Okay.
-[Melanie] Thank you.
-[Debs] Okay.
-Thanks.
Um, you know, the hardest part
about it was I lost a friend.
-[Melanie] Oh, I didn't even
think of that.
-Hi, Gary.
-[Gary] Hello.
-So hard to make friends
in high school, you know?
-Well, not for you, I'm sure.
[chuckles]
-These are your renters
at 24167 Oak Grove?
-And how did you find out?
-Excellent question.
How did I find out?
-The heat's broken.
-Mail. In the microwave...
-Oh.
-...under a different name.
Uh, wouldn't always respond
to his first name
in, like, a normal
amount of time.
-Freezing. Yeah.
-He lived alone.
-[laughs]
-[laughs] Come on.
-No offense, but, like, yeah.
Yeah, any idiot would sort
of know at that point.
-So it's homecoming, right?
And I just know something's
about to go down
because, like, he's being weird.
-This evening? Are you kidding?
We're going to freeze
to death by then.
Uh, yep. We will most
likely survive, Gary.
-[Gary] There's extra blankets
- Mm-hm.
-in all the closets.
-Thank you, sir.
Uh, yeah, thanks.
[phone thuds]
-Well, he said there may be
a storm tonight,
so we should chop some wood
and use the fireplace
until the repair guy
can get here.
-Okay, well, yeah,
me and Mitch will chop wood
while you guys go for supplies.
-When who goes for supplies?
-When you and Melanie go
into town to get groceries.
-Oh, I think Mitch
and I should go.
-Yeah.
-Melanie cooked.
-She should rest.
-Oh, no. No, no, it's fine.
I have some spices to get.
Right, baby?
So it's better if I'm there.
-Yeah. And me and Mitch,
we're going to chop wood,
because Mitch has never
done it before.
-So the women cook
and the men chop wood?
-Babe, do you want to chop wood?
-No, it's fine.
Whatever.
I'm going to go for a ciggy.
-Oh, but you'll miss
the end of the story.
-I've heard this one.
[door opens, closes]
-So I took the microphone
and I say,
"Hey, man, no brother of mine
would ever trick these kids
into selling drugs
for a pay check."
So I turn to the audience,
I say,
"[Debs mouth the words]
This guy is not
your homecoming king.
In fact, this guy
isn't even Gerald."
[low rumbling of engine]
-So, do you go back
to work next week,
-or do you get a few days off
-I go back on Monday.
-after New Year?
-I don't really get time off.
-And is it still the same...
-editing? Editing, yeah.
-Editing, yeah.
Other people write the books,
and I edit them.
-[chuckles]
-Oh, yeah, for now.
-Well, I mean,
your first book was...
it was...it's so sad.
-Thank you?
-Oh, yeah.
Yeah, very depressing.
-Right.
-[chuckles]
-It's normal for second books
-to take a while.
-Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, absolutely.
It--it--it took me months
to get out my second cookbook.
[laughs] And you know what?
Actually, when I was
about to give up,
I heard the most incredible
thing on the radio from Cher.
She was talking about how
there's always so much pressure
put on the sophomore album,
but at the end of the day,
the only person's opinion
[fades] is your own.
-Hm.
-I turned in my book
the next week.
[car tire screech] Oop.
-I hope to be managing my
own fund one of these days.
Working for myself, like you.
Instead of always just
working for the man.
-Why don't you just quit?
-Well, I just got promoted.
Figure ten more years
never hurt anybody.
[laughs]
-A fund.
-Yes.
-You know, this is going
to sound crazy
because you've actually
been talking about it for years,
but, like,
if I really hum on it,
I do not think...
Yeah, I don't think I actually
know what you do, man.
[laughs]
[Josh strains]
-Oh, do you have any
dietary restrictions?
-No, not that I'm aware of.
-And Josh, I think he said
he's not on meat right now.
Right?
-When did he say that?
He loves meat.
He eats meat all the time.
-Oh, maybe I misheard.
We'll get fish just to be safe.
[gasps deeply] Streamers!
-I'm going to get you
all set up.
Hey, yo. Way.
sh*t. Man.
-[laughing] I'm just...a little,
uh...a little rusty, I guess.
Yeah. Yeah.
-I gotta tell you, man,
since me and Debs
started spending
every other weekend
-in the country...
-Yeah.
-...my whole outlook on life
has changed.
-From what to what?
-It's like from being an ant
to being a deer.
-Mm.
-Yeah.
From being a cog in the wheel
to the man driving a tractor,
you know?
-Yeah.
-It has done wonders
for our relationship
-You guys having trouble?
-...learn a new language,
travel more,
master the art of the casserole.
Do you have any?
-No.
-[Melanie] None?
-The groceries are on me,
by the way.
-No, on me.
Mitchey gave me
his black card. [chuckles]
Oh! And I want
to get pregnant finally.
And for Mitch to be happier,
I'd like to help him do that.
-Is he not happy?
-Oh, he's just stressed at work,
I think.
-Right.
-But he's back
on the antidepressant
so that's positive.
-He didn't tell me that.
-He's just a little
bit embarrassed.
So it's our little secret.
[slight chuckle]
-Yeah, it's our little secret.
[bottles clank]
-Who isn't, right?
-Right?
-Right, right.
-You guys are going to be fine.
I do not think I have ever seen
Melanie not smiling.
-Well, you're not with her
all the time.
She can be a b*tch.
What a huge b*tch she can be.
-Well, you know Debs.
She can just be...cold.
-Cold?
-Yeah.
-See, I always just...
saw that as thoughtful.
You know, because she wouldn't
be such a great writer
if she didn't daydream.
-You read her book?
-Three times.
Incredible.
-Huh.
-Decimated me.
What did you think?
-Uh-huh.
[strains]
Hey, can you take my picture?
[clears throat]
[camera shutter clicks]
-Hey, do you have a sec?
-I'd like to show you something.
-Yeah, I kind of have
-a splinter that I have to--
-About the heating issue.
I think I have a lead
on the gas leak.
-Aha, right.
Of course, yes.
[door opens]
-We have a gas leak?
[door closes]
[both speaking in hushed voices]
-We have to tell them.
-f*ck you. We're not doing that.
-f*ck me?
-I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.
-We have to tell them.
-f*ck you! We're not doing that.
We discussed it, and we agreed.
You don't think I want to take
your husband's perfect face
and shove it
through a f*cking wall?!
This is hard right now because
we are in the thick of it.
But by tomorrow,
it won't hurt so much.
Day after that, even less.
By next week,
it'll feel like a bad dream.
And by next year, trust me,
you won't even remember
that it happened.
-[scoffs] I think I'm always
going to remember the day
that my husband
f*cked your wife.
-[Josh] You guys need some help?
-We're fine.
[wrench clanks]
[loud thud]
We've almost got it fixed.
[wrench thuds]
-You owe me.
-I what?
-When you got arrested
the night before graduation
because you wore
your dumb jelly shoes
and you tripped and hit
your head on the sidewalk,
and then the campus cops
picked you up,
cocaine fell out of your pocket.
Who bailed you out? Me.
Even though I was
completely broke.
And I made up a whole lie
about how you got mugged
to your f*cking parents.
And you said, you owed me.
[whispering] Whatever I wanted.
[whispering] Whenever
I wanted it.
-Mitch, this is--
-Two years later,
when you got stranded in Vegas
[whispering] after walking out
on an amateur gambler
who turned out to be
a professional con man,
you said, you owed me.
Whatever I wanted.
Whenever I wanted it.
-I can see what
you're trying to do,
-Last April,
-but this is a very...
-when you ran over a raccoon,
but it wasn't all the way dead
and you didn't want the karma
that comes with k*lling
a still-living raccoon,
so I k*lled it--
-Animal Control k*lled it!
-But who got them on the phone?
Me!
-Who cares?
-And now I'm a 35-year-old,
LLP Bean-wearing businessman
with an okay sense of humor.
And this is what I want.
This is all I want.
Debs, I somehow won the lotto.
And I'm just...I'm asking you
to help me keep her.
Please just help me keep her.
-But lotto winners
always get divorced.
-Debbie.
-Please.
-Mitch.
-I'm sorry.
[door opens]
-Do we have a leak?
-Not anymore.
[cheerful holiday tune]
A windmill.
Uh, children's gymnastics.
You're on fire.
Karate as an art form.
-[timer ringing]
-A CEO.
-What?
-Like, I was giving
a PowerPoint.
Ted Talk and stuff
and this was money.
-Oh, f*ck me.
-How big is this storm
going to be?
-Don't you worry, baby.
I will protect you like
I always have and always will.
Forever and ever and ever.
-Amen.
-[Melanie chuckles]
-Let's do this.
-No, thanks.
-Okay.
[clears throat]
-[chewing chips] Three words.
Second word.
One syllable.
You're a dog.
You're a bulldog.
You're a cow eating grass.
Mm. Yum. I'm a delicious cow.
-I know this one.
-[Debs] Oh, good.
-I love a good steak.
- [whispers] I know this one.
-[whispering]
You're so beautiful.
-[Debs] Eating a steak.
Mm-mm-mm.
-Sweetie, thank you.
-Mm, a cannibal cow.
Yum. I'm going to eat myself.
I'm a cow eating myself. Hungry.
I'm gonna write a great review
of this steak.
Mm-mm-mm.
-[camera shutter clicks]
-[timer ringing]
-The meat industry. Yeah.
-Yes, yes.
-Like, as a whole?
-Oh, we've got dinner coming.
-I'll be fine.
-May I?
-Oh, no,
-don't waste another one.
-Oh, no, no, no.
This is gonna be great.
-Oh, gosh. Okay.
-She's backlit, so.
-Oh, is that...?
-Yeah.
-Just add a little light.
-Oh. Ah.
[camera shutter clicks]
-Well, not all of us
can have our photos
on the cover
of National Geographic.
-What do you mean?
-Josh, you know,
getting that--that--that cover,
the one with
the lion reservation.
-Mm. That wasn't his photo.
-What do you mean?
-One of your guys who works
for you took that photo.
That's not your photo.
-Yeah, but he was my guy, so.
Just not worth mentioning?
[chuckles]
-Yes, Debs, it just seemed
like it wasn't worth mentioning.
-But you don't need to lie.
-I didn't.
-You lied by omission.
-That's different.
-[Debs] Is it?
- Is it different, Josh?
-[clears throat]
-Is it different?
- Mel, uh, did you bring
the Graceland album
like we talked about?
Did you guys know that
Paul Simon entered the studio
without having written
a single song?
-Babe, we don't have
to get into this right now.
-Actually, I think
that we do need to get into it.
-Why don't you just go
have a cigarette?
-Josh, why don't you
just tell the truth?
-I did. We got the cover.
-Does anyone else need a refill?
-No. You lied.
-You're lying.
-I'm not lying.
-You are lying
like you always lie.
-Always lie? I don't always lie.
-You always lie
-about the most stupid.
-Babe.
I do not lie to you.
-Why don't you tell her about
sleeping with me this morning?
[Mitch gasps]
[Debs laughing]
-Melanie?
-[whispers] I'm sorry.
-I think I'm going to be sick.
-What? You're leaving?
-They weren't supposed to know.
I--I don't have the stomach
for this.
-Wait, wait, wait.
Hang on. You knew?!
[door open]
-You got to go to the city.
You're going
to get an apartment.
You're going
to pack the sunscreen
and go immediately
to the Bahamas.
You're gonna call your mother.
You're gonna call her mother.
You will not yell.
[car tires spin]
I donate! I recycle.
I...I deserve to have
good things happen to me
every once in a f*ck' while.
[car tires spin]
Sundays have always been tough
for me schedule-wise
and you know that.
[car tires spin]
[screaming] COME ON!
[car tires spin]
[screaming] COME ON!
[Mitch] Aaaahhhhh!
[door opens]
[wind blowing outside]
[door closes]
-Mitch.
Mitch, are you okay?
-We're snowed in.
[heavy footsteps]
[door slams]
-[clears throat] I'm just, um,
I'm--I'm gonna--I just--I'm--
I need a minute.
[door closes]
-Do you want to talk about it?
-Melanie, from the bottom
of my heart...
go f*ck yourself.
-[gasping]
[sniffling]
[door opening]
[door slamming]
Well sh*t!
[door opens, slams]
[wind blowing]
[delicate guitar strumming]
[breathing heavily]
[distant thud, shatter]
-[Dispatcher]
Hello, taxi service.
-Hi, there, 24617 Oak Grove.
I need a cab into the city.
My wife f*cked my friend.
-[Dispatcher] Uh, well,
I'm sorry to hear that, sir.
Listen, we got a cab coming to
get you in about 55 minutes.
-I'll be here.
[gulping and spitting]
-Come on, m*therf*cker.
[strains]
-I am very, very disappointed
in you, young lady.
-[Josh] Why'd you wait?
-Horses make mistakes.
Please don't leave me.
[growling] Okay.
-[Debs] Hello?
-[Melanie gasps]
[toy thuds]
-Why didn't you say anything...
if you knew?
-I needed time to think.
-Oh.
-[Debs] What?
-I said, "Oh."
-Was it the first time?
-Yes!
-Do not yell at me!
-[Melanie]
Baby, it was the only time.
[faint storm outside]
I...If I may start this here,
I would like...I would like
to explain a little bit about--
about the whole thing.
-No, thank you.
-[Josh] Debs. Please.
-I would love for all of you
to kindly shut the f*ck up.
Do you think you could do that?
-Do you think you could?
-Yeah.
[loud knocking on door]
-Who invited someone?
-I didn't.
-Not me.
-[Debs] Mitch?
-No!
-All right, I'm coming out,
and I don't want
to see anybody, okay?
Not anybody.
Okay?
-[Melanie] Oh.
-[whispers] God damn it.
-It's horrific.
Divorced and m*rder*d
in the same weekend.
Real five-star vacation.
-Who is it?!
-[Gary] It's Gary, the owner.
-sh*t.
-[Gary] I heard you're all
freezing to death.
-sh*t. sh*t. sh*t. sh*t.
[door opens]
I said, everybody stay
in your f*cking rooms!
[doors closing]
-Oh, God.
-[Debs sighs]
[door opens]
-Hi. My repair man got stuck
across the canyon,
so I thought I'd walk down
and see if there's anything
I could do.
-Great.
-I just live up the road.
-That's wonderful.
Thank you so much.
Come in, please.
Welcome. Thanks.
[door closes]
Whooh!
-No guests!
[door slams]
-Are ya'll enjoying yourselves?
-Yeah. Shall we?
-Of course, that was before
the kids went off to college.
They were with us up
until the last moment.
-Right.
-In fact, if you
look under the staircase,
inside there,
you'll see their growth charts.
We'd mark them down every year
on the first of January.
-That's tomorrow.
-What's tomorrow?
-New Year's Day.
-Well, look at that.
You got a resolution?
-No. Never really
worked for me, so.
I'm flying blind. [chuckles]
-Oh, I think they work all right
if you pick the right one.
-How long were you married?
-Thirty years.
Of course, there were
two wives before that.
-So third time's the charm?
-No, third time I tried.
[smoke alarm pinging]
-f*ck!
-[Melanie] Is it burned?
Oh, my gosh.
-[Debs] I got it.
-[Melanie] No, I can get it.
-[Melanie] Here. Debs.
-[Debs] I got it.
-I got it.
-No, Debs. Let me get it.
-I got it.
-Debs...Stop. What are you--?
Why did you do that?
-It was ruined.
-It was salvageable.
-It was burned.
-But I could have fixed it.
-Well, we're really at opposite
ends of this one, Melanie.
I'm going to need you
to move, please.
-We are going to have
to talk about this.
-I'm not in a place to do that,
so I'm going to need you
to please move!
[bottles shattering]
[Mitch laughing in the distance]
Oh, my God.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-Hey, hey.
-Please tell me that was
not all the booze.
Please - tell me - that -
wasn't - all - the booze.
-I...I'm really sorry.
-Look, guys, we are going
to have to talk about this
at some point.
So I would suggest--
-I would suggest
that no one here,
or anywhere, really,
needs you to lead right now.
-Okay.
-Or ever.
-I would suggest that, Debs,
we take the downstairs,
and, Mitch, you and Melanie
take the upstairs,
and we just talk.
All right? We just get
some clarity here.
-[mouthing] I think I'm gonna
cut my f*cking...
-[mouthing] I'm going to do it.
-[Melanie] Oh, my gosh.
[fake choking, screams]
-Oh, no, it didn't work...
Oh, well.
-After you.
[clanks]
-Password.
-Unbelievable.
-That's right.
Very good.
[soft piano chords]
-Good luck.
-Mm.
-And remember, you can take him.
[Debbie sighs]
[knife clanks]
Booze.
-Let me just start
by saying that...
Are you going to look at me
like that the whole time?
-Like what?
-Are you going to look at me
like you hate me--
-Are you trying to tell me
-how to look at you?
-No.
-Just that it is difficult
-Yes.
-[Josh] when I'm--
-I'm absolutely going to look
at you like this the whole time.
I might even
look at you like this.
-That's fine.
-It is.
[liquor pouring]
- [Melanie]
Did you call your mother?
-What's that?
-It's her birthday,
and you told me
to remind you to call her.
-Oh, right, right.
Well, no. [smacks lips]
-No, I didn't.
-Okay. Well--
-I absolutely did not call her.
-[Melanie] Okay.
-Did you?
-Of course.
-You did?
-Yeah, I called her.
-[laughs] Oh, good.
-Good.
-[Melanie] Yeah.
-Before or after?
-It might seem like
I had planned this.
Me and Melanie had planned this.
I--I promise we didn't.
This was the first time.
-We bumped into each other
on the way to the bathroom.
Right after you left.
The toilet in our bedroom
has been making that noise.
-That loud clanging noise
every time you flush.
I didn't want to wake anybody.
-So I snuck out
to use the hallway
and I turned the corner.
-She was there.
-He was n--n--naked.
-I'd sleep naked.
-I had been crying.
-I had an...erection.
Not like a...
-Why were you crying?
-Because I cry at night
sometimes when I'm sad.
-Not a sexual one at the time,
just a, like nighttime deal.
-So we bumped into each other
in the dark.
-We laughed.
-We laughed.
-And then...
-He kissed me.
-...she kissed me.
-Why didn't you stop him?
-And it felt...
-...good.
I don't think
I wanted to stop him.
-[Josh] I knew it was wrong.
-And you were never
going to tell us?
-Well, we decided...
-We thought it would
be better if...
-No.
-No.
[clock chiming]
[gentle piano chords]
So...say something.
-I'm too angry.
-Please.
-I'm too hurt.
-Please.
-I'm going to try very hard
not to yell at you during this.
[bottle thuds]
I guess a divorce.
We get a divorce.
-Is that what you want?
-It's not what I want.
It's what needs to happen.
-No, it's about what you want
to happen.
I messed up.
We've just gotten away
from each other lately.
But you are my partner.
You're the best person for me,
and I...
I know I am the best person
for you, right?
You're my queen, right?
-[sings] My little farm girl--
-Stop.
-with the bad...
-Stop it.
You can't charm your way out
-of this one, Josh.
-Babe, that's not what I was...
-The ball's in my court,
so just f*cking sit there!
-Look at me.
-No.
-Baby.
-No.
-Mitch.
-No.
-I'm sorry.
-You are taking advantage of me
because I'm a nice guy.
But I'm not as nice
as you think, okay?
I can be a mean guy, too.
-Okay.
-I can say mean things.
I've got them in me, lined up.
-I know you do, baby.
-[whispering] Melanie
Ha--haven't I always
been there for you?
Haven't I always treated you
with respect?
-Always.
-I listen to your stories.
I'm present.
We talk.
-We do.
-And yet you--you
still f*cked him.
Why would you do that?
Why would you do that?
-I don't...I don't...
-I'm so mad.
-I know.
-And I get to be mean
if I want to.
[sobs]
-Do you know how many times
I thought about cheating on you?
-I don't.
-So many.
And I almost did it once when
I went on tour with that band
to write about them.
I made him a mix CD
because I just wanted somebody
to hear a guitar part
and see them smile
because they hadn't
heard it before.
And I wanted to tell him
my favorite movies
and talk about books,
and I wanted to tell him jokes
and have him look me
right in the eyes and laugh.
That's all I wanted.
And we did it. And it was...
I cried.
I cried when he laughed
at my joke.
And we didn't have sex
because we didn't need to.
It was enough.
And I felt guilty for looking
in someone else's eyes
for so long,
but at the same time,
I felt so good because
I felt like myself with him.
I felt like
the old version of me
that I only see in pictures.
And I miss her.
-Was it his d*ck?
-I'm sorry?
-Yeah. Because, you know,
basically,
this guy has no money,
no company, no 401k, no future.
So I'm just racking my brain
and all I can think of is,
"God damn, Josh must have
a huge swinging d*ck."
-No.
-No?
-Well, I mean, it's fine.
-It's fine?
-There was no way for me
to know that before it happened,
so, obviously, like clearly,
I did not seek him out
for his d*ck.
-Yeah. So here's where I'm at.
As a man,
there are just certain things
that I'm going to need to know
in order to get past this.
And one of those things
is what this swinging d*ck,
long-haired,
nature f*cking photographer has
that I do not have.
-I mean, come on.
She's beautiful.
-You're the most beautiful.
-No, because I haven't
been laid in four months,
and you f*cked Melanie.
-I'm sorry.
-Don't be sorry.
Be honest.
-There's no reason to be sorry.
-I don't know where you go
all day, so how can we have sex
if you're never home?
-[frustrated scream]
-[vase shatters]
-f*ck.
-Mitch, it was an accident.
-Kissing is an accident.
f*cking is a hundred tiny
accidents in a row.
Just tell me why you did it
and we can move on.
-Okay, baby.
-No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
-No. Baby, I don't know,
-I don't--I don't know.
-That's not going to do it.
That's not going to do it,
so why don't you try again?
-I don't--I...I...
-[Mitch] Just tell me.
Please, Melanie,
for once in your f*cking life,
-just don't be polite, okay?!
-I'm not.
-Just say it!
Whatever it is, just say it!
-I'm dumb!
-What?
-I'm dumb and...
and I'm a burden.
-Oh, honey, you're not a burden.
-No, but, [sniffles] yeah,
really, it's not...it's not
really something you can help,
other than to, like, read books,
which I try,
but I think I read
the wrong ones,
-and...
-Oh, Melanie.
-No, but, and I know
I'm a disappointment to you
because I don't have
a real job, right?
And I don't make any money,
and I don't know anything
about theories of politics
and economy like Debs does.
-Nope, this isn't about Debs.
-Yes. But I am going
to get better,
and I want to be better for you.
Will you just tell me
what to say?
Please, Mitch,
just tell me what to say.
You want me to say
that it meant nothing?
-Yeah.
-It meant nothing.
Do you want me to say
that it was bad?
-Sure. Absolutely.
-Yeah.
It was really bad.
He was really...
he was really bad.
Do you want me to say
that I don't love him?
-I think I know my stance there.
-I--I don't-- I don't love him.
I don't love him.
-And do you love me?
-Yes.
-And is that the truth?
Or are you just telling me
what I want to hear?
-The truth.
The truth is that you're weak.
That you...you needed
to f*ck her to feel powerful.
That you don't know who you are,
and you keep blaming it on me
that you are just
a messed-up little man
with an ego way bigger
than anyone deserves.
And you have been bad to me!
And you don't have
one good reason
and I am very, very, very, mad
about it.
-I have a cab coming.
I want you to come with me.
But I need to know why.
I need it.
I just...I need it.
Otherwise, I'll think
about it forever.
And I don't...I don't want
to think about him forever.
I wanna...
I wanna think about you.
Twenty minutes.
[door closes]
[sobbing]
[gentle music]
You said, and I quote,
you will be here in 55 minutes.
-[Dispatcher] Sir...
-And, you know, I--I'm--I'm
-looking at the clock right now,
-[Dispatcher] Sir, I understand
-that you're upset.
- and, it's...
-well, it's over 55 minutes.
- There's a terrible storm.
-No, there's a storm?
Oh, gosh, now I see it!
Well, how about this?
Yes. How about I provide
you guys a tutorial
on how windshield wipers work?
How does that sound?
- [Dispatcher] I do not like
the way you're speaking to me,
sir.
-No. No, I didn't mean that.
- Give me a break.
-[Dispatcher] And during the
holiday season [indistinct].
-I'm sorry. Look, I'm...
I'm having a day,
so I apologize profusely,
but he has--he has to come.
Okay?
He has to come.
-[Dispatcher] Good luck to you.
[phone call ends]
[phone thuds]
-[Mitch sighs]
-[Gary whistling]
[pounding]
-Mister Gary?
-Yeah.
-Hey, Mister Gary.
Um, hello. Mitch.
One of the temporary residents
in your beautiful home.
Uh, so, I have a little issue,
and I go--I...
I need to leave this evening.
-This evening?
Oh, is everything okay?
-Yeah, I--I--I have...
I have a--I have a large--
I have a pretty
significant work emergency
and I--I have to get back
to the city.
-I don't think it's
gonna happen tonight.
-Ooh. Because of the snow.
-[Gary] Yeah.
-Well...well, yeah,
I was--I was thinking,
like, maybe if you have shovels
or--or a tractor.
-I do.
-You do?
-It won't work.
-It won't?
-Not on the ice.
Plus, they closed the canyon.
We're going to have to wait
till sunup,
get a little clarity
on the situation.
You understand.
Hey, how much can you lift?
[Mitch straining]
-[Gary] It's not for everyone,
you know.
-What's that?
-[Gary] The country.
-No city noises...
-Uh-huh.
-[Gary] ...blocking out
all the little voices
-screaming at us from inside.
-Of course.
-[Gary] Sooner or later,
you got to come face to face
with your true identity.
-Absolutely. Yeah. Beautiful.
-Ah. Here we go.
[loud thud]
[Mitch groans]
Seems this little critter
got up in it
and sang hallelujah.
He was blocking the pipe.
-At least she wasn't cold
when she died.
-No, she wasn't.
-Ah. Ah.
Jesus, what, uh...
Oh, dude, tell me this is some
back alley Chateau Lafite.
-When we moved in, we found
a couple cases behind a wall.
Apparently, the original owner
was a bootlegger.
-Yeah?
You ever, uh, try it?
Uh-huh.
-That there is dangerous stuff.
[bottle thuds]
[soft, jazzy trumpet]
[knocking on door]
-No.
-[Mitch] [whispering] It's me.
[door opens]
-Hi. I don't think
I can talk right now.
-Okay. I just--I just--
I just wanted to see if you're--
how you're doing.
-I'm fine. Thank you so much.
-Okay.
-Thank you.
-Do you [inaudible]
want to see how I'm doing?
-And you?
-[whispering] I'm bleeding
out emotionally.
Absolutely never been worse.
Thank you for asking.
-Come in.
-You sure?
[clattering]
-[floor creaks]
-[Melanie gasps]
-Sorry.
[chuckles] You scared me.
-Sorry. Just...no.
I'd come over there
and give you a hug right now,
but I'm pretty sure
we're not allowed.
-You hungry?
-[groans]
I really let her have it.
I gave her a piece of my mind.
-I thought you guys fixed
the f*cking heat.
-He removed a squirrel.
I don't really know
what that does.
She was...she was down
on her knees begging me to stay.
Just a sobbing mess.
Tears in her eyes.
"Oh, baby, please.
Please don't go.
"You're the best man
I've ever met.
"The best lover.
I want you inside
of me right now."
Which I was not going to do.
I'm not going to give her that
after what she...
So, yeah, I just...
I felt bad for her, really.
-Mm...Let's not feel
too bad for her.
-Yeah.
So who gets the house?
-We're not there yet.
-I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You're not staying together,
are you?
-Uh, we're not there yet.
-Debbie, this your one chance
to zipline to freedom,
and you're not there yet?
He's ketamine.
You're cocaine.
He's a rusty sword.
You're an atomic b*mb.
You're a real live person.
He's an as*h*le.
-How is he more of an as*h*le
than Melanie?
-He's an as*h*le in his core.
Josh's chemical makeup
is as*h*le.
Sure, Melanie was an as*h*le
in this situation,
but deep down, deep, deep, deep,
deep, deep, deep, deep, deep,
deep down, she's a...
she's a good person.
What are you drinking?
-I thought we didn't
have anything.
-Well, maybe I found something.
-[Debs] What I'm confused about
is who's riding in which car.
They can't ride together.
-f*ck.
-[Debs]
I'm not driving home with Josh,
and I don't even know when
we're going to get out of here.
The snow is, like,
not going to stop.
And three days to plow the
roads would be way too--
I can't--I cannot handle
three days here.
It's too much eating
Melanie's cooking.
[echoing] The whole thought
of it just makes me wanna cry.
-[Mitch breathing heavily]
-[Debs] Gonna starve in here.
[echoes] Hey.
-Debbie?
My best friend
in the entire world
who I would stab
a thousand tiny birds for
if I ever found myself
in a situation
in which that was necessary.
-I think maybe
you've had enough.
-I think maybe
we're just getting started.
-It's a creative outlet
for me, really.
-I'm sorry. What...
is this salmon?
-Trout.
-Trout is pink.
-[Melanie chuckles]
-Jesus, you got a real talent.
With me
I...
-I don't know
why I didn't see it sooner.
This is a wake-up call.
[groans] This is an anvil
on the head from God.
-Uh-huh.
-This moment.
-This one.
-[Debs] Okay.
-Hah!
This...God is showing us
a new path.
That's what's happening, Debbie.
God is showing us a new path.
-When did you start
believing in God?
-This morning?
Right now? Who knows?
But I see it.
This is a blessing.
We saw them f*ck.
We saw it,
and it saved us
from the rest of our lives.
-I've never heard you say
one optimistic thing
your entire life.
Like, your wife
f*ck another man,
and all of a sudden,
it's a blessing?
I have no idea what's going on.
What happened to my best friend?
-He woke up.
-What?
-He woke...the f*ck...uuuuupppp!
-Mitch!
-Yeah!
-Hey! Mitch!
-Whooh!
-[Debs]
What the hell are you doing?
-Providing wood!
So that you will be warm!
Which you deserve to be!
-Mitch!
You don't have any shoes on.
Get back inside!
-Get back into rock climbing...
-Whoa.
-Mm-hm.
Build a lattice
for my tomato plant.
-Okay, yeah.
-and...call my mother more.
-[laughs]
-You?
-Mine's learn a new language...
-Mm-hm.
-call my mother less...
-Oh, yeah.
-and master the art
-of the casserole.
-Ooh. I love casserole.
-You do?
-And I see it now,
and I don't know
why I was ever scared of it.
Today is Bastille Day,
and it's time
to storm the castle.
Whooh! [laughs]
-You're drinking scotch?
Mitch, seriously, are you okay?
-And do you know what
the best part about it is?
I know you've thought
about it, too.
-Thought about what?
-[whispering]
In your quietest moments.
-Thought about what?
[shocked groan]
-Can I ask why you did it?
-Did what?
-Kiss me. I...just...
Why'd you do it?
-I don't think I know
what you're saying.
-Why did you kiss me?
-I--I'm just asking why.
-Melanie.
You kissed me.
-You're drunk.
-I'm not drunk.
I'm alive.
-No, you need water.
-Deborah, we've been
best friends for 15 years.
Are you really telling me...
you're telling me
you've never thought about it?
-I...I...I don't think
that I have.
-Lying.
Ladies and gentlemen,
for God's sake, she's lying.
Freshman year.
You and me, in the closet.
Chris Ryman's
St. Patrick's Day party.
Everybody was playing mafia.
We thought it was dumb.
We snuck off.
You put a four leaf clover
sticker on my forehead
and we kissed.
-But, Mitch, we were kids.
I mean, it was nothing.
-It was nothing? [scoffs]
-We were kids.
-It was nothing?
Okay, what if it wasn't?
What if this whole time,
we've been kidding ourselves
because it was too real,
so we had to distract ourselves
with the wrong people?
Maybe we just didn't think
we deserved it.
-Mitch, I--
-Before you say anything,
just think about it
for a minute.
Just give it a moment of thought
before you respond.
No, that wasn't long enough.
Really think about it. Really.
-That is exactly what
you f*cking would say.
-No, but. You--remember
when you threw me up
-against the wall?
-Yeah, you know what?
That was after you kissed me!
-That--No, absolutely not!
-Sshhh!
-You can't-- Look, Melanie,
you cannot just kiss a woman
in this day and age.
I did--I--I reciprocated.
-I'm just saying that I wasn't
thinking about it, okay?
I--I didn't--I didn't--
I didn't think about it
before it happened,
and then it just happened.
And now what?
Now is what? Is what?
-You can't possibly blame me
for this, do you?
-Hold on. Do you blame me?
-Excuse me.
-Melanie, we decided
this together,
-Mm-hm.
-okay? We had a discussion.
-We had a conversation
-very briefly.
-Still.
-[Melanie]
While you were kissing me.
-You were also kissing me.
-It is very hard
to make a good decision
about f*cking
while you're kissing.
-Look, I wish it never
happened either.
-[gasps]
Well, I didn't say that.
[footsteps receding]
-Mitch. You're married
and you won the lotto, remember?
And I'm married.
We got married to other people.
-He doesn't like your book.
Oh, f*ck.
-He loves my book.
-No.
-He told me.
-He told me.
This morning.
-Well, he must have just--
-And that the two of you
aren't having sex.
-What did you do,
ayahuasca together?
-Debs, you're fighting
to stay with a man
who doesn't understand you.
And I do.
And I always have.
-Do you think I'm dumb?
-[Josh] Absolutely not.
-[tree creaking]
-[wind whistling]
["Where Am I"
performed by Duffy Power]
Where am I?
Nobody speaks to me
Please, I'll give
A gentle sigh
As I wander by
Where are you?
Why don't you speak to me?
Are you gonna leave me
All alone
With my misery?
-Oh. Hey, butto.
It's Mitch Delpin. Businessman.
-[Caller] Did you think
about that proposal?
-I did think about it.
-[Caller]
Get you up where you belong.
[laughs]
-And my answer is [inhales]
over my dead body.
-[laughs]
-[Caller] Sorry, what's that?
I wish you wouldn't hurt me,
Darlin'
I wish with all my heart
-I have not enjoyed one minute
of one day of one year
working for you, buddy.
You're self-centered,
you cheat at golf,
you were nepotized
into your job,
and boy, does it show.
The bottom line is
I--I don't want to be like you.
Mm.
So I quit.
-[Caller] You're fired, Mitch.
- [Caller] I'm firing you.
-No, no.
That's incorrect.
No, you're hurting my ear!
I quit.
I'm quitting. [indistinct]
-[Caller] g*dd*mn life!
-Thank you. Good day.
-[Caller] Dad! Dad! Mitch...
-Mitch, I love so many things
about you.
But I don't think I've been
in love with you since the...
[sighs] And even one minute
spent not in love...
is a waste of our time.
Is a waste of our lives.
[sniffles]
And...
just say it...
Yes, you can.
Melanie, yes, you can.
[soft jazz trumpet]
-Hey.
[lamp thuds]
-Mm...
Tsk...
[cork pops]
[Mitch blows out cork]
[cork thuds]
[whimsical music]
[jazz trumpet]
[Josh inhales deeply]
[distant bouncy music]
-Can you turn it down, please?
It's just a little too loud.
[blows bubbles]
[dance music]
-[echoes] Yeah!
-Mitch...
[distant solemn music]
[figurine thuds]
[cigarette sizzles]
-What'd I miss?
-Nothing.
-Nothing.
-I think you should
come down here.
-What is that?
-[Josh] It's the truth.
-I, uh, found this
in the garage.
-You found it?
-Debbie, I can't
quite explain it,
but I am feeling really good.
-The last thing I want
is to dance or celebrate
or feel good right now.
-[Announcer on TV]
People are ready for 2022.
We are 20 seconds out.
-Please, Debbie.
We always celebrate together.
-[Announcer on TV] And let's
get ready to count together.
-[Everyone on TV] Ten, nine,
eight, seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one.
Happy New Year. [cheering]
["Auld Lang Syne"
instrumental playing on TV]
[Josh sighs deeply]
[Mitch blows noisemaker]
-To love.
-To friends.
[glasses clink]
-To...l...life.
[glasses clink]
-To truth.
-[chuckles] f*ck you guys.
[sniffles]
Salud!
[all cheering]
[fantastical music]
[Debs chuckles]
[magical whoosh]
-[Mitch] Okay.
-[Josh] Oh.
-Okay.
-[Melanie giggles]
-All right.
At work, sometimes
before a board meeting,
I will masturbate to completion
in bathroom stall number three.
-I steal when I'm nervous.
-A state senator once asked me
for a d*ck pic. I sent it.
-I slept with three
of my college professors.
-[spits] What? Who?
-German history,
obscure mathematics,
and medieval studies.
-Wait a second.
-[Melanie] Medieval studies?
-Professor Logey was like...
-...in his 60s, yeah.
And his wife.
-I saw my mom cheat on my dad
when I was eight.
I never told him.
-I hired a teenager in India
to write this book.
-What?
-I don't even know him.
Or her.
-I hate this shirt
on my body so much.
I don't even have the words
to describe it.
Just so much.
-I've gotten so sad lately.
I don't know
when exactly it happened,
but I'm just so sad.
-I kissed Melanie.
She reciprocated,
but I kissed her.
-Thank you.
-Did you like my book?
-No.
But not because it wasn't good.
It didn't feel like you.
-I know.
I finished my new one,
and I think it might be
really, really beautiful.
But I can't show it to anyone.
Because if I do,
and they hate it,
like last time,
then I'll have to quit,
and I won't have anything
to latch on to in my life,
and I...I might just float away.
-You've always had me.
-I have no money.
-[laughs]
-None.
It's all his.
-[laughing] It's 100% true.
-I have no money.
-And...and the best part
is I quit my job.
-Wait. You're getting
a promotion.
-Yeah, I was.
-Yeah, you are!
-And I did. I got it.
-Yay!
-And then I quit.
-Why is that funny?
-I've cheated on everyone
I've ever been with except you.
Until now.
-Mmm.
Why do you think
you did cheat on me?
-[inhales] Because I don't like
myself very much.
Only Melanie doesn't know that.
So for a second, I forgot.
Because, uh,
when you like yourself,
you can get a hard-on.
And when you don't, you can't.
-I love dessert.
-[scoffs] You hate dessert?
-No...
no, I love it.
-Our entire relationship,
you always say you don't want
to hear about the dessert menu.
-Yes, but the truth is,
I think I just probably
wanted the dinner to be over.
Because I feel like
we've run out of stuff
to say to each other.
-Uh-huh.
-And that bums me out.
-It bums you out?
-And I've given up
thousands of desserts.
And...I know it's trivial.
And I know that
all my needs are met,
and I should be grateful
and happy, but I'm not.
Because...
I think maybe I married someone
who has no idea who I am.
And I don't think I really
have any idea who you are.
And maybe it occurred
to me this morning that
I could either live
the rest of my life that way,
without dessert,
or I could pull
the escape hatch.
And so I pulled it.
-I want you to have dessert,
Melanie.
[gentle music on stereo]
[flames crackling]
You know, I try to bring art
into my work, I really do,
but investment bankers
just don't see it.
-They don't see it.
-Yeah,
but it's not too late, you know?
-No, it is. I--I don't have
any other skills.
-This is very limiting,
you know?
This is very limiting talk.
You should take yourself
more seriously.
-Nah.
-Yeah.
-Nah. I wouldn't even know
where to start.
-I'll tell you where you start.
You start with still life,
and then you move on
to portraits or abstract.
I mean, anything. You can go
in any direction, man.
-I--I--You should...
-Hey...
You f*cked my wife.
Don't inspire me.
[both laugh]
-I always thought I'd be
further along than I am.
-Yeah, you're borderline one
of those sad cases.
-Dang it.
-But listen. I know it wasn't
for everyone,
but I really cried
when I read your book.
-You did?
-Yeah.
There is this
one beautiful moment
in the last chapter
where the lead character
stops pretending
that everything
is going to be okay.
[smooches]
-That's my favorite bit.
-Hey, Debs.
He doesn't believe us.
-No.
-What do you mean?
-This guy doesn't believe us.
-Ha!
-I don't see no tree.
-[Debs] Ah!
-Oh! Whoa-h*-h*.
-What did I say?
-[Debs] We found it.
-What did I say?!
-I knew we'd find it.
-Well, sh*t.
-I was wrong.
-Look.
-All right.
-Inches.
-All right.
-Inches...
-Inches.
-All right.
-Where--how did it happen?
-He was there and I was there.
-[Mitch] We were...
-[Debs] There, right there.
- [Mitch] And then it was...
[overlapping chatter]
-[Melanie laughs]
-[Josh] It just fell?
-A deer...
[overlapping chatter]
-Hey.
Hey, hey, guys!
What time is it?
-[Mitch chuckles]
-Yes.
-[Mitch laughs]
-Yes.
[whimsical music]
[Mitch chuckling]
-Whooh!
-Yeaaahhh!
-Whooooooohh!
-Aww!
-Aaaaahhh!
[laughs]
-Come here often?
-I'm new in town actually.
-Hey, um,
I know that I have
a ton of work to do.
-The lion's share.
-No. You...you don't have to.
-And I know this is my fault,
and I know that you hate me.
-Hey, Josh.
I needed him.
The musician, Danny.
That's where I go all day.
I've been writing my book
at his house
because I can't write
when I'm with you.
I haven't been able to speak,
and I've gotten really quiet.
If you notice that,
that I've gotten, like,
I've gotten small.
And it's not all your fault,
because I--I--I turned to stone
at a certain point,
like, I didn't recognize
the person
I was sleeping in bed next to
and I should have just
reached out to you
but instead of reaching out
to you, I just...
I turned to stone.
And--and [sighs]
and when I was with him,
I could--I could feel everything
and I could smile,
and it all just...
it was all there for me.
And I don't know
why that happened,
and I'm sorry.
-Did you sleep with him?
-No.
-Debs.
-Never. No.
-Mm.
[sighs deeply]
-[Josh sniffles]
Hi. Uh, I'm Josh.
I'm a photographer.
Not actually the best
on my team,
but I'm a good leader.
I'm kind.
I'm slightly insecure
about getting older
and my body and whether
I'm actually funny
or if I'm just good at telling
other people's punchlines...
and, oh, man,
I really love my wife.
And I would really like for her
to try and get to know me now
[sniffles] without all of the,
um, [sniffles]...
without any aspirations or,
like, bullshit and just--just,
uh...Right?
And if we can't find
our way back,
then we'll be done.
But not until we try.
Please. Please.
[Debs crying]
[Debs sniffles]
[uplifting music]
[sniffles]
-Hi, Josh.
I'm Debbie.
-Hey.
-[Debs] I like my twig.
[uplifting music continues]
[ice scraping on windshield]
-Well?
-Yep, I'll see you.
-Or not.
-Okay. So, uh, you're
going to want to get gas
before you hit the freeways.
And make sure that
the lady's voice on the map
is super loud so that
you don't miss any of the turns.
[Melanie chuckles]
-It's icy.
-You'll be fine.
-Yeah, but...
a little bit scared.
-You'll be fine.
-How long are you staying?
[snowblower whirring]
-I have no idea.
-I'll be at my parents'
in case of emergency.
[car engine starts, idling]
[hood closes]
[door closes] [car door closes]
[car engine starts]
-[sighs] Okay...
Okay. [clears throat]
[Debs giggling]
-I'll be seeing you.
-You will, yeah.
[slight chuckle] Of course.
Do you need a pep talk?
-Always.
-Hey.
I left something on the table
for you to read
if you have time to read it.
-I do.
And you should give it
to Josh, too.
-Okay.
[melancholy music playing]
[car door opens]
[car door shuts]
[smooches] [Josh sniffs deeply]
[smooches]
Okay.
[music continues]
[upbeat music]
[serene jazz music]
Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Couples Weekend (2025)
Moderators: Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters, Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters