(tools clanking)
(light music)
(light music)
I just f*cked up a check
and I got satisfaction
- [Krystal] Who
the f*ck is Ashley?
- [Angel] Oh f*ck!
- [Krystal] Angel, you f*ck boy!
- [Angel] Oh sh*t!
- Oh, you're gonna run?
I ran track.
- Open the door.
- You think you can f*ck with me
and text other girls?
And your p*nis is mediocre,
not even good in bed-
- Open the door, cuz.
Open the door, open the door.
- What's Krystal mad about mow?
- Oh, her name is Krystal.
Go, go, go.
- Angel!
This is so us.
Cash App me a dollar
Cash App me the dollar
I did it again, damn
- Cash Apping him, right?
- I mean, am I sending this
super wealthy rapper a dollar
every time he tells me to?
Nah, cuz.
Just during the chorus!
- Yes, sir.
Capital Gainz is the hardest
47-year-old rapper in the game.
- If my mans can come back
from three failed albums,
getting shanked by his celly
and a whiteface scandal, cuz...
- It wasn't even Halloween.
- It wasn't even Halloween,
he was just doing that sh*t
for no reason.
Oh sh*t, we got the new new.
- We got new new?
- We got the new new, cuz.
Capital just dropped a video
for "Bad b*tches
and White Claw".
Look at this sh*t.
- Run it.
Bad b*tches and White Claws
Bad b*tches and White Claws
- Oh sh*t.
I'm getting faded
Faded
But I ain't gonna crawl
With my claws and white
girls, we fill them up
- Damn, sh*t is nuclear.
- And I thought
today was gonna suck.
- Ah sh*t, what Randy do now?
- Man, Randy was all up
in my grill this morning,
talking about...
- Carter, I am your stepfather.
You will respect me.
You are 21 years old.
- You need to move out,
you need to get a job.
Then he rizzed up my mom.
- What Randy is trying to
say is things are changing.
- Mom, what is that?
Put a ring on it.
And then Randy was all like...
Soon and very soon
You gonna have
to move out, oh
- [Carter] Sound like
a discount Temptation.
Man, I'm talking about like-
- The real world's coming,
so man the f*ck up!
- Ain't no way you
letting Randy hit your mom
with the back shots like that.
I'd be like, Randy, pow.
- Man, you know I
didn't go out like that.
You know, I was all
up in his grill.
I was like...
I found Randy's bank statements
in the downloads folder
on the family computer.
Guess what I found?
Online poker charges!
Randy is broke and that
ring, probably a sham.
- You son of a b*tch!
- That's cap.
- Yeah, I did not
stand up for myself.
- Then why you tripping anyway?
The streets is as easy
as fingering a b*tch
with a skirt on, you feel me?
Just move out of
your mom's place.
- Man, you don't understand
what type of relationship me
and my mom have, okay?
- All right, what, you
suck her titty milk?
- No, look, we're
just close, okay?
For the longest time,
it was just me and her.
We did everything together.
No matter how bad things got,
she's always been there for me.
- Carter, you have to move out.
- Like, I even tried to
move into the guest house,
but I can't afford it.
Randy raised the rent
and I'm an unpaid intern.
- Is that what this is
about, you need a job?
You know what I spy
with my sexy brown eye,
Jason's new assistant.
- What happened to Lonnie?
- Yo, Lonnie got that ax, bro.
Possibly because I had
him on another planet
with some of these, all right.
This that kumbaya,
how's your daddy,
like, damelo, por favor, papi.
I been cooking up
for a minute, cuz,
you know what I'm saying?
Anyway, Lonnie quadruple
dosed on the schedy-ones,
called Jason on FaceTime.
sh*t got weird, bro.
Anyway, you wanna try some?
- No, no, no, no, no.
Why don't you just take the job?
- 'Cause you a b*tch,
you're gonna be doing
b*tch activities,
sending emails out like,
come to this sex party.
Huh, we have a backstage
meeting with the illuminati.
Come backstage where we f*ck
all these people in the butt.
- Man, dude.
- You gotta be the assistant,
so I could get access
to the celebrity contact list.
Anytime a celebrity
wants to get lit,
then they're gonna be
like, where my boy Angel at
with the schedy-ones?
And I'm gonna be like, I'm
right here, Kendall Jenner,
what you need?
And guess who's gonna clean up
all that third tier
leftover p*ssy?
I'm talking the
Slimmies with the gold teeth
They don't use no ChapStick
- Yeah, yeah, you know I
love that dry mouth, man.
- Yeah, that sh*t
a little bit weird,
but we gonna get
you laid either way,
you know what I'm saying?
- I'm too dainty.
Look, Jason would never hire me.
- Yo, Jason is
desperate right now.
It's his birthday, he got nobody
to get him that f*cking
dumb coffee order.
- Mocha frappe, two
pumps of caramel.
- A little bit of whip cream
and a smedium amount
- And a smedium amount
of chocolate flakes.
- of chocolate flakes.
And with Capital Gainz
at the photo sh**t today,
I mean, sh*t-
- Wait, wait, wait,
Capital Gainz is
gonna be there today?
- Yeah, Jason switched it
up, you didn't get the email?
- No.
- Ay yo, why you stop,
why you pulling over?
The f*ck you doing?
(Carter mumbles)
Oh my God, he having a
panic attack, Jesus Christ.
(Carter shouts)
We didn't wanna get
no b*tches like that.
(phone vibrates)
- [Carter] Mom, oh Mama.
- Carter, what's wrong?
- Mom, Capital Gainz is gonna
be at the photo sh**t today!
Today, Mom.
- The rapper you
like, that's great.
- No, no, no, no,
it is not great.
What if he tries to talk to me?
Do I dap him up, do
I shake his hand?
Is he a fist pound type of
guy, do I chest bump him?
What if he wants to smoke
marijuana, Mary Jane
and puff puff that kush.
I can't hang with the big dogs-
- Carter, Carter.
- You know I have petite
lungs, Mom, I be...
(Carter coughs)
- Carter, honey, just breathe.
(Dolores inhales)
(Carter exhales)
Open your fanny pack,
take out a piece of gum,
unwrap it, now chew.
(light music)
Better?
- Yeah.
- It doesn't matter
if President Obama
or Black Jesus himself
comes to the photo sh**t,
you're going to do great
because no matter where you are,
you can always think
back to the good times
and know that at the end of
the day, I'll be here for you.
You don't need me today, but I
do need to work on my resume.
You're not the only
one job hunting.
- Mom, about this morning,
if I made enough money,
can I live in the guest house?
There's a job opening
at my internship.
- Carter, that's just another
branch of the same tree.
- But I'm not ready to fly.
Come on, Mom, you still
tuck me in at night.
- Ay yo, what?
- Nothing.
Mom, please?
- Okay, Carter, if
you get the job,
you can rent out
the guest house.
- Praise an all Caucasian Jesus.
Okay, Mom, I'll
see you later, bye.
- Ay yo, cuz, what was that?
What's your mommy
doing, like what,
is she putting baby
powder in your booty hole?
Better get you some
b*tches, the f*ck.
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
- Carter, hand me the jawn.
- Which one?
- What do you mean
which one, the jawn,
that one right there,
can you hand that to me?
Hand me the jawn, hand me the...
Put that down, hand me the jawn.
What did we say about gum onset?
If you want the
minimum wage job,
you will spit that
out right now.
(alarm buzzes)
How's my breath?
(Jason blows breath)
- Not great.
- [Jason] Capital,
what up, dude?
- Birthday boy, go Birds.
- Go Birds.
- I got a little
surprise for you.
- A quart of Rita's Water Ice.
- It wouldn't be a
surprise if I told you.
Faster we get this Kush Street
done, first things first.
You know what this
is, Chip The Rip.
- Oh no, I know this guy.
Yeah, I know him.
- What's happening?
Let's sh**t some kush.
Capital, let me
see that product.
Flash the product for me.
Bounce the light,
bounce the light.
Jesus, it's his first day.
Love it, there it is.
Are you biting it?
That cost more than I pay you.
Carter, I need you
closer, get in there.
Where are you going?
I need you to
actually get closer.
Why can't you get closer?
- I need some air.
- You need some air?
We'll get air later,
let's get these photos.
I don't have insurance on you.
I swear to God if
you hurt yourself,
I am gonna leave you in a ditch.
- Man, you like a sexy light
skinned Dora the Explorer.
I wanna nibble you up
like a feta cheese omelet.
You know what, you remind me
of the babysitter I
lost my virginity to.
- Who are you?
- Who am I, who are you, girl?
Like that accent,
where you from?
- Wouldn't you like to know.
- I'm trying to
find out, I'm trying
to learn my geography,
girl, what you mean?
Look at you smiling, you
think I'm cute, I could tell.
So what's up, you
got a girlfriend?
I got a guy friend, we
could all be friends,
you know that line?
Come on, you feel me.
Stop looking at me like that,
you make me blush, sh*t.
- Aren't you an intern?
- An intern?
- How many followers
do you have?
- Don't worry about
the follower count,
I'm talking about money.
- I only date men
with influence.
- What you mean influence, girl,
I'm a capitalist, all right?
I'm here making moves,
I'm doing business.
I'm allergic to b*ll*ts,
I can't be on the streets,
I'm too delicate.
So I meet all my clients onset.
- So you're saying that
Capital Gainz is a client?
- Girl, I'm saying
he about to be.
Watch this sh*t.
- [Jason] Let's
take a quick break,
like five minutes.
- [Capital] Right.
We will be right back.
- [Security] I'll be back.
- Ay yo, Cap.
- You got my drink?
- Nah, cuz, I got
something crazy.
You ain't never seen
this sh*t before.
This sh*t is dope.
So dope it's gonna put you
on another planet, cuz.
- You trying to
hustle right now?
- I'm just trying to follow
in your footsteps, cuz,
I'm just trying to be like you.
- The f*ck out of here, man.
- So it's like that?
- [Capital] What?
- Ah, I didn't say nothing.
(Capital sniffs)
(light music)
(light music)
I be on your IG,
I be on your IG
I be on your IG,
I be on your IG
- Ay, cuz, I got that good good.
- Yeah.
What in the f*ck is this sh*t?
- That's strength.
- [Capital] Take this sh*t!
- But this Faygo
and cough syrup.
- Do I look like a Faygo
drinking m*therf*cker to you?
Mike, yo, Mike!
- Yo.
- This dude gave me Draygo.
- Man, that sh*t g*y.
You can't pour up to that sh*t.
- You better get the f*ck
out my face, little boy.
Who the f*ck is that?
- I don't know.
- [Capital] You on time out!
- Again?
- He said it was fine.
- Brooklyn, when men say it's
fine, what they really mean
is it makes their penises
soft, like your father.
Now look at him, elbow deep
in his Peruvian
assistant's tight a*s.
- Mom.
- We didn't uproot our lives
so you could fart
around in fantasyland.
- I'm pretty sure I never
asked for any of this.
- You never asked me to
give birth to you, either,
which I don't remember
getting a thank you for.
- You know what, thank you
for giving birth to me.
You know, maybe, just
maybe, if you hadn't stabbed
that casting director
in the leg with a spork,
you'd still be working.
- Maybe if you had
taken your medication
and didn't crash my car,
I wouldn't have to
take you everywhere.
Here, we got a few minutes.
- Oh, Mom-
- Content.
- I just wanted that-
Content
- Mom, there are boundaries
that I'm telling you to make.
- The next words out of your
mouth better be Rauf MD.
(light music)
- You wanna know what my dirty
little skincare secret is?
I only use Rauf MD.
I had a serious breakout
just before this sh**t
and this acne clearing serum
literally saved my face.
It's made by a family
of dermatology experts
so you know they really
care about healthy skin.
Hit them up, holler
at your girl.
Brooklyn, out.
(Mom laughs)
- You didn't say to like
and subscribe, do it again.
- Mom.
- Hey, guys.
Ladies?
Equals?
- Hi.
- Hi.
They're ready for you now.
- Okay.
- Look at me, look at me.
You go out there and
you f*ck that camera up.
- Give me a real laugh,
give me a real laugh.
There we go, there you go, yes.
You're a tiger.
(Jason growls)
Oh my God, you
scared me, oh my God!
You're a squirrel who's
afraid of heights.
- Do you like it, is it okay?
- No, girl.
(Brooklyn laughs)
- [Jason] Ay yo, all right,
medicate on the branch.
Branch, yeah!
You're a meat eater who's
just looking for immortality.
Oh my God, plus your
nose, so hot, so hot.
Yes, okay, right
there, right there.
Yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, faster, yes!
Yeah, we got it.
(upbeat music)
We got it that time.
Carter, hey, Carter,
grab the other camera.
I want some BTS shots.
Grab that camera,
it's in the bag.
I'm gonna be in the photo
so you're taking it.
Get it out of the bag.
Today, come on, Carter.
(Jason snaps)
Get it together and
take a perfect photo.
I'm not asking that much.
- This better be the best
m*therf*cking shot ever,
m*therf*cking good
m*therf*cking shot.
- [Jason] Whatever's in
your head, do that better.
- [Capital] You
better make it good.
- Give me the camera,
I got it, don't worry.
Let me just format
this real quick.
- [Jason] Angel, my
man, thank you, dude.
Thank you for stepping in.
- You guys ready for this photo?
- He's camera ready always.
Right, Brooks, right, Brooks?
- Oh sh*t!
- Dude knows what he
does with a camera,
he's got some skills.
All right, thank you,
Angel, let's get it.
The porridge is hot
and the honey is ready.
Looks like he's got some dry...
No, that's semen, that is semen.
Let's do it, make it perfect.
- He pounding that a*s, f*ck.
(Jason moans)
- [Jason] Oh my God.
- Ay yo, cuz, I need you to do
me a solid today, all right?
- What?
- Just a little light revenge,
you feel me?
- How?
- [Jason] Carter!
- Don't worry, just trust me,
I'ma take care of it, all right?
- Hey, grab them cases.
You did way better than Lonnie.
- So does that
mean I got the job?
- No, not quite.
I still need you to
back up all the photos
from today's sh**t
on my home computer
and then confirm
every one coming
to the birthday party tonight.
I will give you and only you
access to my contacts list.
Pick up my birthday
cake from Lorenzo's,
grab my birthday costume from
the dry cleaners next door
and do not forget the boots.
Get the house ready, booze,
weed, do you know anyone?
Condoms, lots of condoms.
What am I forgetting?
Oh, get the jeep detailed.
I don't want a mark, a speck,
a single proton out of place
on my baby.
Oh, and don't even think about
taking her for a joyride.
I track her on the jeep app.
My dad had a two-door
back in the day.
Got the keys to that,
I'd go cruising down
the shore every summer.
Got my first blowie in
the backseat actually.
Gave my first blowie
in the front seat.
Yeah, that was good.
- Hey, Teddy, come
on, hurry up, man.
- [Jason] That's my ride.
- What about me?
- Oh my God, I
forgot about Nate.
- I've been out here
all g*dd*mn morning.
Where's my driving lesson?
- Nate, buddy, come on.
It's Daddy's birthday.
Got a cheese steak and a soft
pretzel just calling my name.
- Hey, we get it.
You're from Philadelphia,
fly, Eagles, fly.
Oh, what's that?
No one cares.
- Nate, please, please, okay?
You can hang out with
these guys today.
- Wait, wait, wait, you
want me to watch your kid?
- Is that a problem?
- Man, you never said nothing
about babysitting the kid.
I thought I was gonna
be at your house,
like backing up footage.
You never said nothing
about babysitting a kid.
- Who are you calling?
Angel, who the
f*ck is he calling?
(phone vibrates)
- [Carter] Hey,
Ma, what you doing?
- Working on my resume.
Is everything okay,
did you get the job?
- Maybe, honestly,
it's not for me, Ma.
Can I just please
have the guest house?
Randy won't even know I'm there.
- Carter-
- Unless you maybe
wanna keep me company
while I run some errands.
I'm not very good
at being an adult.
- No one is.
- Just this one time,
so I can secure the job.
Yeah, then probably like a
few more times after that
till I get acclimated.
Do you want me to succeed?
- Okay, Carter, I-
- Ay yo, Ms. Amos, what up?
No, no, no, what's up?
- Hello, Angel.
- Ay, don't worry,
I'ma help him get all
his sh*t done, all right?
I got no ultra motives.
- You mean ulterior motives.
- Oh damn, once a
teach, always a teach.
- Please put Carter
back on the phone.
- Bye, Ms. Amos, bye.
All right, listen up, cuz,
let me ask you a question.
You wanna be running around town
doing all these bullshit
errands for Jason,
you know, do this, do that,
give me the dry cleaning?
Or do you wanna hire
a couple task rabbits?
They're gonna take care of
all that sh*t, we go back
to Jason's, chill by the pool
with some baddies, real talk,
Brooklyn thinks you cute.
- The model?
Nah.
- Her words, cuz.
- Seriously?
Oh, I chap to those lips.
- Nah, nah, nah, chill,
chill, chill, chill.
She wanna chill with you, me
and this bag of schedy-ones,
you feel me?
- I can't afford no task rabbit.
I literally have no money.
- Ay, don't worry,
I'm about to have a cash
flow hit, all right?
All you gotta do is trust me.
I'ma make it happen.
Or, open your mouth,
or you could move out
of your mom's crib.
That's what I'm talking about.
Okay, boss man, we good.
- You're not leaving me
alone with these jizz stains
or your boy's gonna
pledge his allegiance
to the Dallas Cowboys.
- Do you wanna get disowned?
- Is Troy Aikman the
greatest quarterback
to ever play the game?
- Go Birds.
- Does Tony Romo give
reasonably objective
sports broadcasting
observations?
- Go Birds, go Birds.
- Does Jerry Jones make
your boy horny, yeah.
- Go Birds, go Birds.
I have no son, so all right.
That f*cking kid, right?
- Should I share my
location with you?
- Why?
- I'm babysitting your kid.
- f*ck it, why not, okay?
I'll be back at eight.
Oh, Nate, f*ck Tony Romo.
- Who's ready to party?
(upbeat music)
- Ooh, I knew
you'd say yes, cuz.
- Oh, can you help
Brooklyn ditch her mom?
- [Mom] Brooklyn, where are you?
(upbeat music)
- Jesus, you can do this.
(Brooklyn cheers)
Okay, now would be a good
time to leave, come on.
- Ooh, we about to get
all that senior p*ssy.
Come on, let's get out of here.
- Thanks, babe.
- Wait, hold on!
Hold on, wait.
Those m*therf*ckers.
(upbeat music)
Are you on psychedelics?
- [Angel] Get the
f*ck in the jeep.
(upbeat music)
Hey, let me tell y'all
about my best friend
Real one, day one,
straight flexing
We just have
fun, no stressing
- [Angel] Have some fun today!
- Party time!
(model cheers)
- Wow!
- What's with all the bears?
(model laughs)
- Oh, they are so cuddly.
- Hey, whoa, whoa.
Okay, I know you guys are
trying to like F in my home,
but nobody's gonna do
that unless your boy gets
to invite some girls over.
- Oh, you got girls, huh?
- Yeah.
- Give me some names.
- Cindy, Hemmy, sorry, Hannah.
Hemmy, Hannah-
- That's not even a real name.
- You don't know her 'cause
she goes to another school.
Why are you really intimidating?
- Yeah, that's right.
You know what, Nate?
Why don't you shut up?
- But I'm gonna
call her, though.
- [Angel] Nate,
shut the f*ck up.
- Okay.
- Carter, what the f*ck?
Stop that, can we
get this kid set up
with, like, snacks and
video games or something?
I gotta handle some sh*t.
- It's just that I gotta
back up the footage.
- No, no, no, relax, I'ma
take care of it, all right?
Jason's not gonna be back till
eight, we got the whole place
to ourselves, we got the
baddies, we got the schedy-ones.
Maybe a little...
Know what I mean?
I'm talking about...
You know what I mean?
Talking about...
You know what I'm saying?
I'm talking about sex, Carter.
I'm talking about
f*cking, you know?
(Angel laughs)
You know what I'm saying?
Nothing is gonna go wrong in
the safety of these walls.
Let me see your
phone real quick.
Don't be so nervous.
Look at you chewing
all nervous and sh*t.
- Hm?
- Come on,
blow me a happy bubble.
You know I like
to see that sh*t.
Don't be shy, blow the sh*t.
Blow for Angel, come on.
Yeah, right, yeah.
Ay, there it is, we having
a good time now, all right?
Ladies, make yourself at home,
Angel gotta handle some sh*t.
Don't f*ck this up.
Let me tell y'all
about my best friend
Real one, day one,
straight flexing
We just have
fun, no stressing
Who my best friend,
that's my best friend
- Here, keep it company.
- I'm not a child.
(model laughs)
- Eh, eh, eh, those are special.
Who my best friend,
that's my best friend
Ay, are we beefing, yes
Oh, we're beefing, yes
- [Jason] No, that's
semen, that is semen.
We the best, I'm trying
to see them checks
I'm trying to be the
next one going skirt
- Let's get f*cking obliterated.
- (foreign language)
(models laughing)
And we can be best
friends, bring your BFF
She can join in on the
mic, like, check, check
One two, one two, ay,
come through, come through
Ay, I'll buzz you up,
then we can get boozy
- Oh, hey, you coming in?
- Ooh, I'ma get in.
I'ma get in!
Oh, I'ma come in, girls.
On me, let's go!
I'm about to give them
the Swedish meatballs,
you know what I'm saying?
We gonna f*ck, you
know what I mean?
We gonna f*ck!
(Angel laughs)
- Ay, just gonna put these here,
so the child doesn't
get into them.
- Oh, grab a fistful, you won't.
- That's the correct assumption.
- [Angel] You're
a working man now.
Come on, come in, cuz
- Yeah, Carter, jump in.
- Yeah.
- Feel like swimming
just not my vibe.
Feel like I should just
get back to Jason's list.
- You know what?
(model screams)
I know what he needs.
I know what he needs.
(Angel laughs)
- Hey, can I have a piece?
Give me the gum.
(imitates g*nf*re)
(Brooklyn laughs)
- You know, the average
person secretes 1.5 liters
of saliva a day.
- Saliva's cool, you know
what's cooler, my scar.
Right here, a b*llet
ricocheted off a desk
and almost hit my
femoral artery.
- Wait, what you were
in a school sh**ting?
- Mm-hm.
- Me too, I had to get
stitches in my head.
- You got shot in the head?
- I mean, nah.
No, I was hiding in the closet
and hit my head on a shelf.
But guess who got to rock a
sick firefighter's outfit?
(Carter laughs)
I mean, your boy was
looking fresh, fresh.
- Peek-a-boo.
(Carter laughs)
- Doesn't sound like
the worst thing.
It's not like getting
abducting by a bunch of creeps
on the street
corner or something.
(Brooklyn laughs)
Stabby, stabby.
- No, I despise creeps,
almost as much as having
to move out of my mom's place.
- Wait, you live with your mom?
Why don't you wanna move out?
What's up, ladies
What's going on, we about
to get a little bit crazy
You know what I'm saying?
And now we swimming
and we chilling
Can I get a ooh
Ooh
Come on, we having a good time.
Carter, come on, get in
the pool with us, dog.
Jump in the pool,
have some fun
Stop being a b*tch
Get in the pool and
stop being a b*tch
- Come on, Carter.
Can I get a ooh,
da da, da da
Ooh, ooh!
(Brooklyn laughs)
And we vibing
Oh, now he dancing.
I knew this is what
he needed, show them.
And show him, am a little
bit of peer pressure
Come on, take them off, bro.
Take them off slow.
Take them off slow
Oh my God, I could see
your m*therf*cking nut sack
(Angel laughs)
No, I can't, I'm
just playing with you
You acting a
little wack, wack
She got a new papi, ay
We about to get a
little freaky deaky, ay
Ooh
- I haven't been to the gym.
- Wassup?
Cool party, your boy is
going to take the jeep
and pick up some
shortys real quick.
And we're gonna be back
with some Capri Sun,
you know, fruit
punch, blue raspberry.
We got, ooh, what's that?
- Nate!
- [Nate] Ow, my
trachea, stop it.
- Look, bro, I know
I've only known you
for, like, 45 minutes, but
just please do me a solid
and stay in your room.
- Why, 'cause you guys
are gonna do adult stuff?
I know adult stuff,
fricking doing taxes,
falsifying voter information,
not doing taxes,
butt stuff, boom.
I'm an adult, I just showed you.
- No, your voice
hasn't even dropped.
- I'm gonna tell on you, fool.
- Okay, snitch, one thing
I know about absent dads
is as long as you're not
RIP, they don't really care.
- Well, you're not even
his minimum wage assistant.
You are his no-wage intern.
- Fine, here, take the
controllers, get a bunch
of pre-diabetes, play
a bunch of video games.
I don't give a f*ck, just
stay in your room, okay?
- It's stuck.
No, no, no!
(stomach growls)
f*ck this.
We gonna make love, yeah
Said we gonna make love
You know what I'm saying, girl.
Yo, take one for me, all right?
Take a couple for me, girl.
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh my God, what's
going on, Carter
- Carter, are you
down for a trip?
Come on this adventure with me.
Ay, don't fall in the
pool, my guy, what the
(water splashes)
- [Brooklyn] Didn't
he say he can't swim?
Soon and very soon, you
gonna have to move out
Oh, soon and very soon
- [Brooklyn] You
live with your mom?
Why don't you wanna move out?
- [Angel] What is she
putting baby powder
in your booty hole?
Booty hole, booty hole?
- You okay?
(Carter moans)
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
(water splashes)
(phone vibrates)
- You don't get out much, huh?
- Yeah, yeah, what you mean?
Go out all the time.
Just the other day, me and mom
actually went bird watching.
I saw a black-billed
magpie, it was crazy.
- I'm gonna throw
these in the dryer.
(light music)
I do drugs to keep me calm
- Brooklyn?
Brooklyn?
Brooklyn, did you
turn on the TV?
(upbeat music)
Brooklyn!
She keep her wrist
slick, sick hips
While dripped in
whatever she wants
She suck on my d*ck
tip, hips split
While puffing an
ounce of this strong
Her breasts I just
can't quit, French kiss
Stay up in every spot
(frenzied music)
(bear growls)
I do drugs to keep me calm
(frenzied music)
- Yes, I love this song!
I love this song!
I love this song!
I love this song!
- But I can't hear it.
(Brooklyn laughs)
(Brooklyn shouts)
- [Carter] No, it ain't.
- I don't know,
am I freaking out?
What do we do?
- What do we do?
About what?
- About what?
- Stop copying me.
- Stop copying me.
- I'm not copying you.
- I'm not copying you.
- You're copying me.
- You're copying me.
- Rubber baby buggy bumpers.
- Rubber baby buggy bumpers.
- E equals MC squared.
- E equals MC squared.
- The square of a hypotenuse
is equal to the sum
of the squares of the two sides.
- I'm never gonna use
that in the real world.
Why didn't school teach
us about taxes instead?
None of this is real.
Oh my God, this is a movie.
(Brooklyn shouts)
(Carter shouts)
(Capital shouts)
(Carter shouts)
(Brooklyn shouts)
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
- Brooklyn?
Brooklyn, Brooklyn?
(Brooklyn thuds)
Brooklyn?
Brooklyn?
(model moans)
(model moans)
- Angel, Angel!
Where's Angel?
- What up, cuz?
- Call an ambulance, call 999.
- We are not calling...
Where the f*ck you
from anyway, huh?
999, every time you
open your mouth,
it's like the United
Nations over here, g*dd*mn.
- I'm from Slovakia.
- You are not from Slovakia.
I've been with a
b*tch from Slovakia.
You from, like, New Jersey.
- I am not from New Jersey.
- Oh, listen to your
voice, I heard that sh*t.
- No, just call an ambulance.
- I'm not gonna
call an ambulance.
If we call an ambulance,
he's not gonna get the job,
I'm not gonna get
my revenge payday.
Okay, we are going to drive
her to the ER ourselves.
We're gonna find a
place with a hill.
- Why would we need
an ER on a hill?
- Because the hospitals
have cameras, okay?
We're gonna put her
in a shopping cart
and push her down
a hill, all right?
- Who are you?
- I'm Angel, b*tch!
You didn't have a
problem with that
when I was eating
your box in a pool.
- I don't need to know
the names of the people
who eat me out in the pool.
- What the f*ck's
wrong with you?
- But it's a weird man's
house, he's going to come in.
What are we going to do?
- I imagine he's gonna
be upset about that sh*t.
- [Model] You're
gonna blame me...
- Gross.
- [Model] Poor
you, I'm so sorry.
- Yeah, poor me.
I wanted to f*ck today, now we
got a dead b*tch on my hands.
(dramatic music)
You gonna have to move out
Oh, soon and very soon
You gonna have to move out
Oh, soon and very soon
- [Dolores] Carter, breathe.
Just breathe.
Just breathe.
Remember the good times.
Remember the good times.
- [Angel] No, no, no,
we're going to carry her...
That's what we're gonna do,
that's what we're gonna do.
You'll get a yeast
infection, f*ck.
- We take her to a hospital.
- f*ck this, I am
not getting deported.
- Nice chowing your box.
That b*tch out, get her clothes.
- [Carter] Careful,
careful, careful.
- I'm being careful, all right?
- All right, well,
get the bears up.
- No, stop it, put
her in the trunk.
Put her in the trunk.
- What, do you have a
blanket or something?
- No, I don't got
a f*cking blanket.
Open up the f*cking
trunk, g*dd*mn.
- What if she goes into shock?
We need a blanket
to cover her with.
- Why are you so worried
about the f*cking blanket?
We're gonna use the
jacket, all right?
Chill the f*ck out.
You wanna read her a story, too?
Get in the f*cking car.
- [Carter] All right, all right.
- Always gotta bail
your f*cking a*s out,
I swear to God, 'cuz.
- Did you leave the door
open for the task rabbits?
- The what, what are
you talking about?
- The dry cleaners
close in half an hour.
When were you gonna hire them?
- When the money came in.
- What money?
- The ultra motive money.
- I'm never gonna get the job.
Randy's gonna walk around
the house in his underwear
while I'm sleeping
underneath a bridge,
all because Brooklyn got sick
off of your illicit substances.
- Okay, okay, shut
up, you know what?
We're gonna turn
around, we're gonna hit
the f*cking dry
cleaners for your boss.
That's what the
f*ck you wanna do?
- Brooklyn's in the trunk.
- I know, I put her
there with you, b*tch.
Think I'm stupid?
You want the job or not?
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
- Carter, Carter?
Yo, come on, snap back.
- Feel like this the guy
that's been haunting my dreams.
- Don't say I never done
nothing for you, all right?
(light music)
Living in a big dream
(Angel knocks)
- Yo, Carter, open.
Here, dry cleaning.
- Hey, hey, hey,
wait, wait, wait.
Man, I just realized something.
The bakery is right over there.
Life on the big screen
It's such a
beautiful scene, yeah
Meet me on a rooftop
Now pass me the ox
and the juke box
Man, we can make
them bop like Hanson
Try and throw a
party in a mansion
- Okay, I got the cake.
- I don't see the boots in here.
- The boots?
- The boots, yeah, they
go with the costume.
- Ay yo, f*ck the boots.
- I'm freaking out, man.
I am losing it, okay?
Look, my hands are weird.
There's, like, vibrant
colors popping.
I mean, no, man, just
please go handle it, please.
Okay, hurry up, man, we gotta
get to the ER or something.
(phone rings)
Hello?
Who's this?
- This the guy you're
trying to blackmail.
Who the f*ck you think it is?
- Blackmail, no, no,
no, I'm not trying
to blackmail anybody today.
- Why I get a text from
your phone with a picture
of my sex tape asking for
100K or you gonna leak it
on Twitter or X,
whatever the f*ck it is.
- You know, I'm really more
of a threads kind of guy.
- You keep talking, young buck.
- Look, everyone has
sex tapes these days.
- It's a non-heterosexual
sex tape!
- Is this Capital Gainz?
I just wanna say I'm a huge
fan, bro, huge fan, okay?
I was supposed to
sh**t you today,
but I have just
really petite lungs.
I don't even remember
anything about a sex tape.
- Stop f*cking around.
I saw you using the
same camera we be using
on Friday nights.
- The BTS camera?
Oh, no, no, no, that
was my friend, Angel.
- f*ck is Angel?
- Different friend,
it's unclear.
I used to do his homework,
let him cheat off my tests,
bunch of class projects.
He got held back a couple years,
maybe, like, four to six years.
He has my phone!
- [Capital] I should've kicked
your a*s in the living room.
- What, you were there?
Okay, okay, okay, be honest.
Are the bears alive?
- You gonna find out as
soon as Mike scoop you up.
Oh yeah, he gonna be right
there at the shopping center.
No, no, no, no!
(tires screech)
Yeah, I'm on a
mission to get it
- [Angel] Yo cuz, cuz, cuz!
- Where are the hospitals?
I'm really gonna have
to talk to someone.
I can do this, I can do this.
I can talk to a person.
(upbeat music)
Hi, excuse me, sir.
- What's up, Blood?
You look like you
ain't from round here,
what's cracking, homie?
- Yeah, I don't really
think we're related,
but no, I'm just trying
to find the nearest-
- Don't be a f*cking smart
a*s, it's Damu over here.
- Do what, no, I
don't like Domino's.
I just really need
your help, okay?
There's a girl in the
backseat and she's really...
You look really scary, okay.
- Oh, you chewing on blue?
- Huh, no, I like all colors.
What are you doing?
Stranger danger!
(tires screech)
- I guess he don't
f*ck with Big Red.
(dramatic music)
Watch this, watch this
(dramatic music)
- Is, like, chicken the only
thing you guys sell here-
Sorry, man.
- Whoa, excuse me, sir.
I'm currently helping
this gentleman select one
of seven spice
levels for his meal.
We currently offer no spice,
light mild, mild, medium hot,
extra hot and if you really
wanna test your fortitude,
get the reaper.
- I don't think you understand-
- Please don't interrupt me
while I'm talking about spice.
This is a safe spice space.
- Look, if you'd just
give me two seconds-
- Spice.
- Spice.
- No, no, no, I seriously-
- Mary had a little lamb,
her fleece was made of spice.
- Okay, just point me
in the right direction
where the nearest-
(phone vibrates)
- Oh, it's for you.
- Who is it?
- Spice.
- What the hell is happening?
- Sir, I'd like to help you
consume Dave's Hot Chicken,
but first, you gotta
put some pants on.
- Ay, nice ankles and
calves, though, man.
Very defined.
(light music)
- I'm gonna cancel
myself for this.
- You know what, man?
I'm just gonna do the mac and
cheese without the cheese.
- [Employee] You
just want noodles?
- Yeah, just the mac.
- Beat it, Pro Tax.
Okay, can you help me now?
- Of course, sir.
Are you feeling no spice today
or are you a reaper kind of man?
No judgment here.
- Okay, we get it.
Safe spice space,
healing chakra, whatever.
Just please point me in
the nearest direction
of a hospital around here.
There's gotta be...
(light music)
(light music)
- Oh my God, I
forgot about Nate.
- What did you need, sir, a
hostel, a hospice, a hospital?
Sir, sir?
- [Dolores] Carter,
breathe, just breathe.
- No, move it!
That damn big headed...
- No, cuz, what we doing?
We don't gotta do this.
What's going on?
Where we going, cuz?
Where we going?
Cuz, all right.
Cuz, okay, okay, okay, cuz.
Chill, oh, you live here?
It's nice, b*tch.
Oh sh*t, okay, what up, Cap?
All right, all right, all right.
Why you looking all menacingly
at me like that, chill.
Oh, we gonna have a
staring contest, okay.
(light music)
Okay, that didn't work.
All right, let me try
another face, all right.
All right, all
right, chill, chill.
Cap, why you looking
at me like that?
Oh sh*t, what the...
Oh, all right.
All right, chill, what the f*ck?
Oh my God.
All right, I get it,
he good, I get it.
- Take him to the studio.
(light music)
- [Angel] That's
a cool skill, Cap.
(light music)
- There you are.
What the hell are
you doing, bro?
- Go away, intern,
I'm walking home.
- I can give you a ride.
- Why, so you can
unalive me too?
- Unalive?
- Why is there a dead
girl in the trunk?
(Carter laughs)
- He's kidding, just
a little game we play.
n*gga, get your a*s in here.
- I don't wanna be part
of the bone fiesta.
Are you a member of the occult?
- That's kind of unusual.
- Sorry, just trying to
get this kid into the jeep,
but not like that, just
back to his mom and dad.
- [Nate] I don't wanna get on
your horny magic school bus.
- [Carter] Nate!
- What is he doing
with a palm branch?
- Stop trying to teen-nap
me, teen molester.
I'm not trying to get touched.
- Okay, okay, look,
look, first off,
it's possible you're pure evil.
Second, I'm not a teen molester.
- Why was teen molester the
second thing you just said?
- It's definitely
the first thing.
Nate, look, I'm sorry
for taking my deep-seated
upper middle class
problems out on you.
- So Brooklyn's not dead?
- No, I just think she did a
little too much adult stuff.
Best case, she's
sleeping off a hangover.
Worst case...
Look, we just gotta
get her to a hospital,
but Angel has my phone.
Unfortunately, I freaked out
and left him on the
side of the road.
- Oh, I know where
a hospital is.
- Thank God.
See, bro, I knew we
could work this out.
- It's right next
to a police station.
Palm frond, m*therf*cker!
- What the heck is with this...
Hey, Nate, what are you doing?
Get down there.
- [Resident] Oh good, he's in.
- Ruthless, intern.
- Let me in.
- No, that cookie you gave
me f*cked up my stomach.
Should I just steal the jeep?
But the bears are so soft
and I think it moved.
- It was the cookie.
Oh my God, I was high.
Am I still high?
- I passed out in the back.
- Okay, thief, now,
can we call a truce
or do I have to climb in there?
(alarm chirps)
- What do I get?
- A ride home.
- So you expect me
not to rat on you
after you tried to diddle me?
- Diddle, what diddle?
I am not a diddler.
- Maybe we should keep going.
- My word over yours.
- What do you want?
- You'll do it?
Whatever it is, you
swear you'll do it?
- I swear to Black Jesus.
You know that means something.
- Okay, my future boo,
homegirl from homeroom,
Hannah Smalls.
I've never seen anyone
play the way she does.
Such vigor, such class.
She's the love of my life.
But love is fleeting.
- [Carter] Okay,
Romeo, why do I care?
- She's moving next week and
I need to see what she thought
about my note.
Got my friend, Tammy,
to do the handoff,
but I haven't heard anything.
- [Carter] Just text her
like a normal person.
- Her name is a palindrome.
She's not gonna fall for
pedestrian sh*t, like texting.
- Fine, I'll take you
to see your little
fricking girlfriend.
Is that it?
(alarm chirps)
- And I wanna drive.
- Hell nah, you are a child.
- Eat a balanced
breakfast full of dicks.
In your mouth.
- There is a girl in the trunk.
If she ceases to exist, I
don't get the job, okay?
I get prison reach arounds.
- Whoa, gross, too far.
Fine, but you gotta put
some g*dd*mn pants on.
I'm not going around
with you like that.
- Get over there.
Okay, where am I going?
- Turn around.
Hey, hey, hey
- [Nate] It's right here,
right here, right here.
- [Carter] Right here?
- [Nate] Yeah, yeah, yeah, and
then just pull up right here,
right over here.
- [Carter] Right here?
- Yes, right here.
Ow!
- [Carter] Do you want
the girl in the back
to be a chalk outline?
Where are you going?
Get back here.
- What, sorry, can't hear you.
- Nate!
I know even in the harshest
- Tammy!
- Oh, Nate, I forgot
all about you.
Did your head get bigger?
- She's breathing,
she's breathing.
(Brooklyn snoring)
Snoring, good.
- You're a comedian.
Where is Hannah?
- Tammy, who's at the door?
- Nate.
- Who?
(Brooklyn farting)
- She tooted.
She tooted, but she still needs
to get to a hospital, Nate.
You got 11 seconds.
- I had no idea what a rare
dove my little palindrome was,
but face it, you're
as forgettable
as Kanye running for president.
- [Carter] Live in
the friend zone,
it's the best place to be.
- You thief.
- Three, two, two...
- Well, f*ck you!
(Nate groans)
No, my bear, that's for Hannah.
No.
- And that's why we
stay in the friend zone.
One, let's go.
- [Nate] Turn the
f*cking car on.
- Now I'm kidnapped.
I'm kidnapped now.
So what you wanna do, Cap,
you wanna lay some
tracks or something?
Is that what you want?
(Angel shouts)
What happened to turn the other
cheek, you know what I mean-
Ooh, I see what you did
there, cuz, 'cause you know,
you hit one cheek,
then the other cheek.
I see that, that's funny.
That's funny, that
hurt, but it's funny.
- Let me guess, young boul,
you was finna have me drive up
to a secret spot, drop off 100K
in cash and that'll be that?
- You know, honestly,
that's a better plan
than I had, you
know, put together.
I thought you were
gonna Cash App me 100K.
- You think this a game?
This my career, my life.
- Why you even care, man?
There's other g*y Black
rappers out there.
Lil Nas X is riding
horses and sh*t.
- Says the white
boy, must be nice.
You all gallivanting around
experimenting with whoever.
Meanwhile, I get a couple thick
b*tches with some fat asses
throw in Big Throbin' and Veiny
jawns, cut with a little bend.
- f*ck it up, big dog.
- My manhood, my Blackness.
The streets are not
kind, you understand?
- Nah, I feel you.
I feel you 'cause,
like, I ain't white,
I'm like spicy white.
You know, I'm Brazilian
and Italian, you know?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Mike, can you get the phone
out of my front right pocket
and take a video 'cause I
mean, how many people can say
they've had the sh*t slapped
out of them by Capital Gainz?
You know what I mean?
- 117.
- Hm, I thought it'd be more.
(Capital smacks)
(Angel spits)
- 118.
- I wasn't even trying
to blackmail you, cuz.
I was just trying to, you
know, be your dealer, you know?
Work my way in, get in
some music videos, crew up,
slide some t*tties around,
pour some champagne
on these b*tches,
you know what I mean?
- I got loyal
soldiers in my ranks.
- I'll be your most
loyal, cuz, trust.
- Then tell me
where the tape is.
- Cuz, I respect you, cuz,
like, on God, you know?
But, like, you pushing 70,
they don't call it a
videotape anymore, you know?
They call it, like,
it's a data card.
- Okay, Mr. Smarty Pants.
(g*n c*ck)
- All right, all
right, all right.
It's in my jacket, it's in
my jacket, it's in my jacket.
- You ain't wearing a jacket.
(upbeat music)
(foreign language)
(Nate sighing)
- All right, bro,
yeah, you need this.
- Why are you handing me
a piece of bubble gum?
I'm not a child.
- Look, bro, whenever I'm
feeling anxious or stressed,
it helps me get centered.
- You know what would help me?
Not being teen-napped,
take me home.
- [Carter] Okay, first
off, it's kidnapped-
- [Nate] Now, now, now, now.
I wanna go now!
- [Carter] Adults don't
throw temper tantrums.
- Fine, I'm not an adult.
I'm pathetic, my best
friend just finessed me,
I can't drive, I have to see
a chiropractor twice a week
because your boy's head is
too big for your boy's neck.
- Oh right, that's
a lot to unpack.
So am I still going straight or-
- [Nate] Straight,
it's like a mile.
- [Carter] Wait, I think
I recognize this place.
It's the same hospital I
went to after the sh**ting.
- You got shot?
- Huh, nah, nah.
Hit my head, just
had to get stitches,
you know, it was
something slight.
Take the gum, it can only help.
Feel like I been chewing
gum since I was two.
It's just like
breathing now, you know?
Sometimes I need one piece,
sometimes I need two pieces.
Three pieces, four pieces.
One time I put five pieces
at once, man, it was crazy.
I'm telling you, man, like,
my jaw was just hurting.
But you get used to it after...
Oh God, Nate, Nate!
Stop, stop, please, please,
please, don't hit him,
don't hit him.
He's a wee child.
Please, Brooklyn, please.
No, no, no!
(Nate shouts)
- I trusted you.
What the f*ck, intern?
I'm gonna tell my
dad about this.
You're f*cking
done, f*cking done!
- Both of you, chill.
Wait, Nate, Nate, Nate, Nate.
No, no, Nate, Nate,
wait, wait, wait.
Guys, guys, no, no, no.
- Get out, I hate you.
No, you get out.
- [Brooklyn] Stop!
(jeep crashes)
- Oh, my trachea.
(Brooklyn screams)
Oh my God!
(Nate screams)
What was that?
No!
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.
What the heck?
Intern, are you okay, I'm sorry.
- No, no, no, no.
Brooklyn, wait, Brooklyn, wait.
Please, please, please, please.
Oh no, please, please, please.
No, Brooklyn, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
- You take my
clothes, I take yours.
- Brooklyn, wait, Brooklyn.
- [Brooklyn] You suck!
- Damn.
Nate, no, no, no,
you're not driving.
- I'm driving, yes, I am.
- No, you hit me with a car.
- Ha, I'm more of an
adult than you are-
- No, you ruined it,
you big-headed freak!
Nate, Nate, get back here.
Nate!
Nate, dammit.
(soft music)
- [Dolores] Carter, Carter?
Breathe, just breathe.
Just breathe.
Get the job done, come home
and everything will
be like it was.
- Carter, why don't you
wanna move out, Mr. Intern?
- [Carter] Mom's always
been there for me.
- [Dolores] Carter,
you have to move out.
(light music)
- [Cap] Teddy, Teddy?
Let me borrow your
phone one more time.
- For what?
Babe, I appreciate the
spa day, I really do,
but when you said you
had a surprise for me,
I was really hoping it was
gonna be life-changing.
- Let's talk about it
after the tour, okay, babe?
- There's always a tour,
there's always an album.
There's always a prison stint.
Fine, take it.
(light music)
- Get it done.
(light music)
- This the last time I'm
working at Capital Gainz,
you swear to God.
Already heard some things.
I'm not Cash Apping
him sh*t, never again.
f*cking weird a*s.
- [Carter] Brooklyn?
- Never just a nice guy.
He's got the white kid,
it doesn't make sense.
Come any closer, it's a wrap.
- Oh, take it easy.
- Why are you
wearing my clothes?
Are you indigent like that?
- No, no, no, no, no.
Your clothes was already off.
I mean, no, no, no, you
already had clothes on,
but I needed clothes to get
into the safe spice space,
yeah, the spicer space.
- Why was I in the trunk?
Even the teddy bear
had a g*dd*mn seat.
- Look, in all honesty,
I was trying to take you
to the hospital
after you passed out
on the living room
floor, true facts.
- Oh, oh, yeah.
No, that happens sometimes.
- Huh?
- Just mixing substances
and not taking my
narcolepsy meds, you know?
- Excuse me?
(Brooklyn sneezes)
Narco what?
- Lepsy, lepsy.
- You need water?
- Narcolepsy.
- What?
- My narcolepsy meds, okay?
- Narcolepsy?
- True facts.
Carter, hey, hey, no, it's okay.
Here, look, here you go, here.
- No, no, no, no!
- [Brooklyn] Oh.
- Oh f*ck.
- Oops.
- That's not good.
It's not good.
(upbeat music)
- I say we just leave
the little brat.
- Just tell him you're
sorry, all will be forgiven.
- What makes you think
he didn't just go home?
- Trust me, he'll be here.
(upbeat music)
Get it on, get it on, get
it on, get it on right now
Take it off, take it off,
take it off, take it off
Take my picture, I'm a star
- Nate!
Nate!
- Here I was hoping you
actually did forget about me.
- Look, bro, I'm sorry I
pointed out that the mass
of your head is similar
to that of a neutron star.
- f*ck off, intern.
Making a sick reel of
Hannah's favorite game
is the only way I
can win her love.
If there's one thing
I know about women,
it's that they heart
older men with cars
and being wealth bombed.
And your boy's not
getting any older,
so that's what I'm gonna do.
- Oh my God, no.
Stop that, I am
not gonna hurt you.
- Let me see those hands.
- No strangling, just advice.
- Okay.
- Anything you do is
gonna come off as creepy.
- Okay, then how
do I win her over?
- You don't, you move on
and you live your life,
find people who like you
for who you already are,
big head and all.
- So that's it?
I just have to take the L?
I'm not your boy,
I'm nobody's boy.
Nobody wants me.
(soft music)
- How's my boy on turn four?
(light music)
Hit it.
(upbeat music)
You're wide approaching turn two
and then come down
hard on the angle.
Come off the gas just before.
Okay, that's right,
okay, that's right.
Keep it tight.
We love that, we love that.
You got this.
(Brooklyn cheers)
Okay, just left that guy.
(Nate shouts)
When you're halfway through,
give it all you got.
Okay, get ready, get ready.
And...
(upbeat music)
Now.
(Nate shouts)
You did that, you did
that, yes, you did.
- It's all good.
- That's right.
(upbeat music)
(Brooklyn laughs)
So good.
Never stop until we're done
And I'm pleased to announce
That my good
time's working out
It's a ride not a car
Take my picture, I'm a star
- Yo, Cap, you ain't got
nothing to eat around here, cuz,
like, I'm coming
down off some sh*t.
I'm hungry, cuz.
Like, you got nothing I can eat,
like a morsel, a bite, a nibble?
Okay, like, I can't eat
that 'cause, you know,
my hands are tied, so if
you wanna feed me an apple
or something, I'll take
a bite out, you know?
It don't even gotta be sus.
You know, you just gotta
hold it up to my mouth,
I'll take a bite out of it.
(Capital sighs)
Oh sh*t, okay, damn, all right.
Mm, that's good.
g*dd*mn, that's yummy.
Ay yo, Cap, let me
ask you a question.
You know, you got bad
b*tches, you got bad dudes,
you got a relatively
capacious amount of fame,
so let me ask you
why don't you throw
a guy like me a chance?
- Chance to do what?
- You know, crew
up, spread my wings.
Do I not remind
you of a young you?
- You ain't no hustler.
I went from the
streets to selling out
Madison Square Garden
to not being able to sell
out Best Western in Topeka.
- You know, they continental
breakfast is all right.
- True, but only reason
why I'm really sitting here
'cause I accidentally
came up with "Cash App"
when my old celly tried to
stiff me on a reach around.
- Let's go, cuz.
- Got lucky with "Bad b*tches
and White Claws", too.
One of my baby's mamas found
out I was on the down low,
she tried to gouge my eyes out
after her nail appointment.
- b*tches be crazy.
- Now I'm getting watch
campaigns, magazine covers.
I'm about to be a detective
on Law and Order
Jacksonville, Florida.
- Oh, you about to be the
Black Detective Stabler?
What in the hell are
you talking about
You nosy
I'm surprised you don't
got a nose job, Karen
Going for a job, why
you staring at me, Karen
I lied to you about my name,
said that it was Darren
Of course I know who you are
- sh*t, damn, that track
is fire, true facts.
- That sh*t is corny!
All my new songs are corny.
- Nah, it's just your old
sh*t's too aggressive, cuz.
Where you from, the hood?
- From North Philly, n*gga.
- Sure, but I'd Cash
App you $5 right now
if I wasn't tied up
and these cables weren't
cutting off circulation
in my fingers, you
know what I mean?
- This one guy upstairs,
I'd do almost anything for.
I'm talking about some
real gangster sh*t,
but I can't give him
the one thing he wants
because there ain't
no third chances.
So why should I give you one?
- Cap, untie these cables and
I'ma show you what I can do.
You g*y, you're g*y and
that's okay that you g*y
Just give me one chance
to be a part of the crew
I know that you g*y, dog,
and that's okay, yeah
You g*y, you g*y, you g*y
You g*y, you g*y
- Get your a*s
back in that chair.
- What the bleep?
My celebration
boomerang is blowing up.
I gotta tag Hannah.
Imagine if she catches me
cruising past her house
in my sick blue jeep
and actually realizes
the deep love she
has for my big head.
- Ooh, I bet Tammy would
be bawling her eyes out.
She'd be like, Nate, Nate!
(Nate cries)
- Yeah, you're not driving.
- I already did.
- You hit me with an SUV.
- Semantics, shemantics.
- Okay, need to grab those
gift bags, wash the car
while I set up for the party
and back-up the footage.
I forgot to confirm
the guest list!
Oh, I'll never
get all this done.
Hey, hey, hey, that's my jeep.
(upbeat music)
Please, no, no, no, wait, wait.
Please, one second, this
is my car, this is my car.
- Well, it's my dad's.
- Please.
- This here is your jeep?
- Yes, yes, yes.
- You're an Eagles fan?
(Clive spits)
Did you watch Super Bowl LII?
- Huh, what, what does
that have to do with the-
- You remember,
the Philly special.
Big Nick Foles fan, huh?
I lost $7500 and my
second wife that evening.
- A lot of pressure right
now, you understand?
- Go Cowboys.
- [Brooklyn] What the f*ck?
- Okay, that was kind of funny.
Oh sh*t.
(upbeat music)
Get out the way
One in the clip and
one in the chamber
Get out the way
You see in my eyes
you're looking at danger
(tow truck starting)
- Take me home, Alex, take
me to the promise land.
- Wait, I'm sorry
about your wife.
I don't know nothing
about the Cowboys.
- I found him.
Now, am I still on time out?
- [Capital] Yeah, you are.
- Damn!
Get out the way
- I think he's broken.
- Oh yeah, for sure.
So you wanna share,
like, an Uber, Lyft,
city scooter, maybe?
I'm more of like a Lime ganger.
- Say something to cheer him up.
- No, wow, no, you do that.
- You've been together all day.
- Yeah, and you guys, like,
make out and tongue it, so-
- Ooh, little boy, if I had a
belt, I would whoop your a*s.
- That's not a good
idea, don't hit children.
- [Brooklyn] I'ma
hit a child today.
- No, wait, stop it.
- [Brooklyn] Get your a*s up.
- Stop it, stop!
- Don't talk to me.
Fine.
Hey there, little guy with
your pink little shorts.
Maybe it won't be so bad.
It's my dad's birthday, he
might be in a forgiving mood.
Or maybe the sun'll explode.
- It's not a plan.
- Hey, maybe the jeep getting
towed was a good thing.
You're not gonna figure
your sh*t out living at home
with your mom.
(door slams)
- You still live at
home with your mom?
- Stop it.
- Yeah, till my
stepdad kicks me out.
He can gamble his whole
life savings away,
but no, he wants me to move out.
He wants me to stop eating
sugary cereal, he wants me
to get a paying job and
to man up and get a girl.
Man, f*ck him.
- Oh my God, you will
always be an intern.
- I still don't understand
why you don't wanna move out
of your mom's house, so...
- I have to use the restroom.
- [Brooklyn] You
live with your mom?
- [Angel] Just move out
of your mom's place.
- [Randy] Why don't
you wanna move out?
- [Brooklyn] Why don't
you wanna move out?
- [Carter] You don't understand
what type of relationship
me and my Mom have.
She's always been there for me.
- [Nate] You will
always be an intern.
You gonna have
to move out, oh
- [Brooklyn] Get away from me!
- [Mike] The f*cking
jacket, lady.
- [Brooklyn] Get away from me!
I will stab you in the jugular.
- [Mike] Ow!
Just give me the jacket, lady-
- [Brooklyn] Stop
it, I will stab you.
- [Mike] I've had a long day.
(dramatic music)
- Intern, you are
needed out here now.
Intern?
Fine, be like that.
(Nate screams)
- Nate, stop it.
- Intern, get out here, please!
- [Dolores] Breathe,
just breathe.
- [Randy] Carter, Carter!
- Just breathe.
Open your fanny
pack, just breathe.
Take out a piece of gum.
- [Carter] She's always
been there for me.
- You have to move out.
Just breathe.
- [Carter] No, no, you
weren't there for me.
- [Dolores] Just breathe.
- [Carter] I'm
tired of breathing.
- So man the f*ck up.
- [Officer] Principal Amos,
we've cleared the room,
but he refuses to come out.
(dramatic music)
- Carter, it's Mom.
I'm gonna open the door, okay?
- No, get out, get away from me.
- I'm here, baby, I'm here.
- No, you weren't.
You weren't!
- It's okay, I promise.
I promise I will next time.
Every time, I will
always be there for you.
Oh.
Oh, look what Mommy has.
(light music)
(light music)
(light music)
Let's go home.
(Brooklyn screams)
So what, I don't care
you done robbed 10 n*gg*s
So what, I don't care
you done shot five n*gg*s
So what, I don't care you was
getting gas getting sucker
Yeah, you a has
been, n*gga, now what
(Carter screams)
(Mike groans)
- You g*dd*mn...
Kids are f*cking crazy.
(phone vibrates)
We here, you a has
been, n*gga, now what-
- Who the f*ck was that guy?
- [Capital] Did you
get my sex tape?
- f*ck you, I don't have it.
- Where the f*ck is Mike at?
- He just left.
- I want the data card your
boy Angel had in his jacket.
- Your guy took the
jacket, case closed.
Look, can you just
leave us alone?
Some of us have intense
weeping on the schedule.
- It's not in there.
- [Carter] Where is it?
- Where is it?
- It's in the back of the jeep.
I was looking for a weapon.
Look, I didn't
know who you were.
You put me in the trunk, okay?
- Bring me that damn data card
or I'ma cancel your friend.
- Ay yo, what up, cuz?
Ay yo, Capital slapped the
sh*t out of me, it was crazy.
- Angel?
Oh, I feel like he's done
that on multiple occasions.
- With violence!
- What's the plan to get
the jeep out of the impound?
What am I doing, like, lap
dance, seductive distraction?
- I'm sure we can explain
our situation to a manager.
- Boring!
- Thanks, gonna have to do
something I never wanted to.
- Oh sh*t.
You're not calling
the cops are you?
Man, f*ck the police.
- F them.
- No, what?
Okay, calm down, Ice Cube.
I'm not calling the police.
(phone rings)
Don't say anything, you raised
the rent on the guest house
to try to cover your
gambling losses.
Maybe Mom was too distracted
by that big ring to notice.
Maybe I'll show her the
bank statements you left
in the downloads folder
on the family computer.
- [Randy] What do you want?
- A pair of m*therf*cking pants.
They said I couldn't, I
did it again, watch this
Watch this, watch this
Watch this, watch this
Watch this, watch this
Watch this, watch this
Watch this, watch this
Watch this, watch this
Watch this, watch this
- How do I know you won't try
to use this little favor again?
- A man's word is a man's word.
- My man.
(light music)
(light music)
Blackmailing me
took a lot of ba*ls.
We might make a
man out of you yet.
- I don't wanna be your man.
I mean, not what I meant.
I wanna be my own
man, eventually.
- So we good?
- I don't know,
Cornelius Randall Walker.
You sure there's nothing
weighing down on your soul,
like what would
Black Jesus think?
- He'd think I should
talk to someone.
- About?
- I don't know, stuff.
- It rhymes with rambling.
- Grambling?
- Randy.
- Ambling?
- Come on.
- Tacos?
- That don't even rhyme
with gambling...
- Fine.
- Who's not being a man now?
- Maybe I need to talk to
someone about my online fun.
- Call it like it is, Randy.
- I need help with my
gambling addiction.
- I'm sure there's someone
that's willing to help you
if you were honest with her.
- And what if she throws me out?
- Take it like a man.
- There's more nuance
to this adult sh*t.
It's not all bad
b*tches and White Claws.
- Oh sh*t, you listen
to Capital Gainz?
- That n*gga ain't so bad.
I might Cash App him a dollar.
Got the keys to the sh*t
n*gg*s think I know the code
I'm on 10 tippy toes
stay on 10 different hoes
Icky cheeky in the city
with the winds to the wolves
Ain't no signature
on sh*t unless I
(Carter knocks)
Cash a check
And she just woke up
Got that b*tch upset
And she just woke up
- Downstairs.
Hey.
- Did you say something?
- I got this new EP I
want you to track, okay?
Try this out, listen to it.
Ws on me like the internet
Keep it chop, that's a blick
Meat and potatoes
when we step
(Jason sighs)
- [Jason] I'm going home,
I'll see you at the party.
Hoe, I'm rotten, stay on 10
Send location, hot wasabi
- Ooh, the room
where it happened.
This is so tight.
Not that kind of vibe?
Straight to business, got it.
Damn, boy, you got f*cked up.
- I got f*cked up,
took you long enough.
- It's been one of
those days, all right?
- All right, let's
make this quick.
Got a birthday to get to.
- Bro, I just wanna say, man,
I'm a huge fan, huge fan.
When you dropped "Cash App",
I was spinning it on repeat.
You are the goat, the king,
Allah, Pharaoh, hands down,
you the man, man, no
cap, full cap, Capital,
"Cash App", spinning it.
Not the vibe?
(Carter growls)
- Cuz, I heard a new track,
it's fire, it's magma.
- What, you got to
peep the new new?
- I peeped the new new.
It's f*cking magma.
- You showed him the leak?
You showed him the leak?
- [Angel] He showed me.
I'm the fan, I'm the bigger fan.
- Y'all drop that quick,
you know what I'm saying?
- For real, it ain't
better than "Cash App".
- [Angel] It's good, it's fire.
- I ain't know you
could top "Cash",
I'm kidding, I already
knew you could top that
'cause you that guy.
You that guy, you been that guy
since you dropped "Cash App".
I was like, the EP coming.
- It's good, but it's a
shame, though, you know?
Really, honestly, it's a
shame because, you know,
'cause I'm not one of the crew.
- Angel, damn!
(dramatic music)
- Oh wait, look,
look, look, look.
Oh, there's Angel.
- [Nate] He does
not run very well.
- He did not run track.
- [Nate] Is that Capital?
- Holy sh*t, what
does that mean?
- I don't know.
What should we do,
should we ram these guys?
- No, we don't ram
anybody, are you joking?
- [Nate] I don't know.
- [Brooklyn] Where are you from?
- Well, we could, we
can't as*ault them.
Is that Carter, what do we do?
- Is it?
Carter!
- [Nate] Carter!
- Should we call 911?
I don't even know.
- You know how I feel
about the police.
- I mean, I can't
drive if I fall asleep.
Yeah, yeah, yeah
- f*ck yeah!
- Oh my God!
- Let's go!
- [Brooklyn] Oh my God!
(Brooklyn shouts)
But I ain't gonna crawl
Pull up to your rager
Finna turn it up
Use my claws on white
girls, we fill them up
Flyest in the room, I
should work for Delta
I got a variety pack of white
girls, I'm sipping seltzer
My Gucci belt on,
got my shirt off
Oiled up like a wrestler
Keep one look out,
that b*tch on d*ck
Be going helter skelter
My frigerator filled with
IPA'S, codeine and White Claws
Lot on my plate, but it's
still steak and fettuccine
With white sauce
b*tch, I'm fresh like
I came out the cleaners
On the PJ, not through
when you eating
Really living that
life, you be dreaming
Get them numbers
like Pi, I'm a genius
- Angel, Angel.
What the f*ck is wrong with you?
- [Angel] The blackmail, f*ck!
- You really this
f*cking money hungry?
- Yes, I need this!
I'm tired of f*cking hustling.
- Here, let me-
- Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
- Seriously, bro-
- Stop f*cking playing, bro.
- Give me the card.
- Nah, stop.
I don't wanna fight
you like this.
- Give me the sex data card.
- Don't do it, man.
You haven't unloaded the BTS
footage, if you give it to him,
you're not gonna get that job.
(dramatic music)
- Is this really happened?
I'm feeling real
trigger right now.
(dramatic music)
- Just give me my
private moments back.
I keep my rap career
and you go home.
- Is that what
this is all about?
So you a g*y rapper,
it's 2024, who cares?
- My fans, man.
- We're your fans.
Man, I probably Cash Apped
you 100 times this month.
Anything, you'll get more
likes and subscribers
'cause you living your truth.
- What if you're wrong?
- Look, you keep living
in fear, always on edge,
but you're never gonna
know who you really are
until you show the
world who you are.
(light music)
(light music)
(bubble pops)
(g*n fires)
(dramatic music)
- f*ck, he's choking,
he's choking.
- Nah, nah-
- Cap, Cap, you on parole,
you on parole, let's go.
Come on, let's go.
(dramatic music)
- Carter, what the f*ck?
Don't sh**t, don't sh**t.
Blow a bubble for
me, come on, cuz.
Somebody help!
- Yo, what happened?
We heard a g*nsh*t.
- It's not staying alive.
- Move, move, move.
Okay, come on, Carter,
come on, Carter, come on.
Come on, Carter, come on.
Come on, Carter,
come on, Carter.
Carter, come on.
Okay.
- Damn, intern, you
almost died, what?
- Come on, she did that sh*t.
She did that sh*t.
(triumphant music)
Ay cuz, mad respect for
not catching a gravestone.
Listen, I'm about to go
to this warehouse party,
mad b*tches, mad schedy-ones.
You trying to come with?
- What, Angel?
Man, the car, it's a
lot of f*cking sh*t.
A lot of sh*t is
happening, right?
I gotta finish Jason task.
- You ain't getting that
job, though, all right?
Don't even stress.
Look, I been out my
mom's house forever.
I'm doing fine, true facts.
- False, very false facts.
- But, like, you finna
drop me off or what?
- Nah, you gotta find
your own way home.
- I know what you need,
cuz, I know what you need.
f*ck, my guitar.
I don't know where my guitar is,
but I'ma send you some sh*t.
- Later, bro.
Where are you going
Why are you leaving me here
Angel is the dopest
I'm all alone
I'm all the f*cking lone
and the sun is setting
But I'm so sad inside
'Cause I'm alone
Damn, cuz, I'm all alone.
- Ooh!
- Ah yeah.
- Well, you know, fire is fire.
(Brooklyn laughs)
- Wait, there's still time.
If we hurry, we could
get the goody bags,
you could wash the car
and then we could set
up the decorations.
Yeah, let's do it.
- You know, bro, I
appreciate that, I really do.
But I think I have
a better idea.
- It already has 312 likes.
- Tanner just did
a reaction video.
- Sophomore Tanner?
f*ck!
- Yo, this kid's got
some weird dance moves.
It's like a mix of twerking
and being gently electrocuted
by sticking your
finger in an outlet.
But I'm low key digging it.
Wait, hold up, okay, okay.
Yo, get into it.
Hah, ay, I gotta check
this guy out, hold on.
Let me get his name,
let me get his name.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Hey, what's your name, bro?
- What's up?
It's Nate, I just beat
Hannah's high score.
- [Tanner] Who's Hannah?
- I don't know.
- [Tammy] That's
not how it happened.
- Oh, my life is over.
(phone vibrates)
- He's calling me.
(phone vibrates)
Both of us?
- What's up?
Guess who's driving a jeep?
Your man is.
Oh wait, I'm my own man now.
Oh, what's that,
you want a ride?
Can't hear you because my
more mature girlfriend,
she's sitting shotty.
- Shotty.
- Nate, wait, you're
cooler than Tammy
despite having a
gargantuan head.
Bye.
- What?
Hannah, no, wait.
(Tammy cries)
My whole world!
Living life no regrets
Hands up in the
air like ooh, ooh
(alarm beeps)
- Hey, Carter.
Hey, hey, where the
hell have you been?
My party isn't set
up, my confirmations
never got sent out.
What the hell happened to
my sexy ringmaster costume?
You are so-
- Hey, hey, hey,
Dad, look at me!
Did he get hit by a car, yeah.
Did he run around in
girl's clothes all day,
even though I neglected to
tell him about my gym bag full
of clothes in the
backseat, maybe.
- What the f*ck?
- Shh!
Did he completely fail in
so many ways, seriously,
but he busted his a*s all day?
He went beyond the
extra mile for you, Dad.
So can you wipe that
stupid smirk off your face,
stop being a narcissistic
as*h*le and do the right thing?
- Damn, Nate.
I'll honestly never
forget you, bro.
We do have to have a
conversation about that gym bag.
- Well, yeah.
- Is all that true?
- True as facts.
- Damn!
(Jason laughs)
Looks like I was wrong
for the first time ever.
- No.
- You got the job.
It's gonna be grueling
and thankless.
I mean, every day you're
gonna think about quitting.
In the end, though, in
the end, you're gonna...
Wait, no, maybe...
No, sh*t no.
Honestly, there's
not much upside.
But it is, it's your job.
What?
- Nah, definitely not my vibe.
- You're gonna turn me down.
- If I'm gonna be
taken advantage of,
I would rather be doing
something I'm passionate about.
- Like what?
- I don't know, just really
don't wanna sell my soul
for some pennies.
- I'll double your pay.
- I'll triple it.
- Capital, hey, what
are you doing here?
The bear orgy, it
doesn't start until 10.
- Oh, that tracks.
- This dude pulled a Black
Jesus and rose from the grave.
I gotta have this
guy in my crew.
- But I just offered him a job.
- Rescind that sh*t,
this guy helped me out.
So I owe this kid.
This kid's got integrity.
He risked his life
just to keep my secret.
- You two argue like
a married couple.
- That's what I came here
to talk to you about.
Pull up my IG Live.
- I didn't accept
your offer yet.
- Listen, kid, you inspired me.
I need more energy
like that in my circle
and someone who
knows my fan base.
This is gonna be an
experience of a lifetime.
This job will take you
around the world, my G.
And I promise, I ain't
gonna take advantage of you.
Or anyone else no more.
What's good, family?
I hope everybody's
having a blessed evening.
I hope everyone is happy
as I'm about to be.
Teddy, you that white boy
I think about morning,
noon and night.
I'm so tired of living a lie.
You are my heart,
I love you, man.
- What are you doing?
- Will you marry me?
- [Jason] Yes, yes!
(light music)
- You start next week,
we're going on a world tour.
- How long is this tour?
You know, if you want,
I can tell your mom
I teen-napped you.
- No thanks.
You know, after I saw you
on the ground looking sad
and pathetic and pitiful,
slightly damaged-
- I think we get it.
- I think I know
what I wanna do now.
What are you doing?
- Oh, I misread the vibe.
- I wasn't trying
to lead you on.
There were edibles involved-
- It's just the sun
was glowing and-
- It is.
- I thought it was just,
like, in the movie vibes.
- Absolutely not, I'm so sorry.
- It's just, so chapped.
- What are you looking at?
- Chapped.
- My lips are fantastic,
so dream about that.
Be well.
(upbeat music)
Oh no, wait, a little high.
- Bye.
- [Brooklyn] I
made it, I made it.
(upbeat music)
(light music)
- [Jason] Carter, what did
we say about gum onset?
- [Angel] Carter, thought
you would stop that.
- [Brooklyn] Carter, come
on this adventure with me.
- [Randy] It's not all bad
b*tches and White Claws.
- [Capital] Carter, I keep my
rap career and you go home.
- [Nate] You still live
at home with your mom?
- [Delores] Carter,
you have to move out.
(light music)
- Yo, Ma.
- Carter, how did it go today?
I called back but
you didn't pick up.
- Yeah, that's 'cause I
was too busy crushing it!
- Okay, calm it down, son.
- Don't tell me what to do.
- Excuse me?
What is up with you?
- I mean, this morning,
you let Randy-
- Carter.
You wouldn't even talk to me.
You would just like to
let him kick me out, why?
- Carter, it's not like that.
- It's supposed to
be me and you, Ma.
- Carter, it can't
always be like that.
- We were best friends.
- Carter, you don't understand.
- Tell me why you let
him treat me like that.
- There are things I'm
trying to explain...
Carter!
Carter.
(Carter sighs)
Since you were born, my job
has always been to protect you,
but on that day, on that
day, I didn't just fail you,
I failed every mother with
a child in that school.
I didn't think I would
ever forgive myself.
If I don't let you go, I will
have failed another child.
- I was fine here.
- Whether you like it or not,
we all have to leave the nest.
Carter, you deserve to
live your own adventures,
make your own decisions,
own your own mistakes.
- So do you.
- If we never leave the nest,
how will we learn to fly?
- What if we fall?
(light music)
- Then we get right
the hell back up.
(light music)
(light music)
The guest house is yours if you
need it to get on your feet.
- Think I might take
a different job.
I'd be going on a world tour
with a famous rapper
for six months.
(light music)
- Is that what you want?
- I don't know and
I think that's okay.
I'm scared.
(light music)
- So am I.
I was gonna bake some
cookies later, wanna help?
- I should pack.
(light music)
(light music)
(light music)
(light music)
(light music)
Right now we're on
the ride of our lives
Off the ground,
we're on the rise
Stars in our eyes
- Carter?
- [Carter] Yo, Mom.
- I haven't heard from
you in almost two weeks.
Where are you?
- Sorry, they keep adding
shows that are, like,
in different time zones and
hemispheres and longitudes.
- Boy, what are
you talking about?
- Oh yeah, the invisible
lines that run-
- Where are you?
- I honestly don't
even know, Ma.
Passed out in the green room
and woke up next
to some dolphins.
How's school?
- The kids are a handful,
but they are full of
energy and promise.
It's good to be back.
- Is that Carter?
Where he at?
He paying his taxes?
- Randy says hi.
How are you holding
up out there?
Is Mr. Gainz looking after you?
- Hey, Ms. Amos, I
know he's your son,
but until he get back home,
he stays with us.
- I'm not gonna lie, my
coffee has been very bland.
- I'm not your assistant.
- I know, I just want
everyone else to know
that the caffeine
situation around here
is not good and I'm not happy!
- That's some crew you're with.
- Yeah, we got a
weird bunch here,
but at least the
snacks are good.
- Yo, Carter, you
took my treats, man?
What's the matter with you, man?
Those are my special treats.
- Sorry, Mom, I gotta go.
I'll call you later.
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah,
everything is great.
(upbeat music)
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Cotton Candy Bubble Gum (2025)
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