02x03 - Meetings

[bunniefuu]

Oh Hey.

Didn't see yo use there.

I just thought I'd

make a bit of breakfast.

And you are?

Oh, Jesus, sorry!

I'm Alex. Alexander Lydon.

Shiv's boyfriend.

Shiv's what?

Mmm.

Tom, this is Alex.

Shiv's boyfriend.

Shiv's what? It's Tom, yeah?

Good to meet you.

He made breakfast.

Mmm. These kippers

Tom, will you have

a kipper? No, no.

I was just going to

make myself a sandwich.

For work.

Looks great, though. Cheers.

You should've woken me.

You were snoring so sexily.

You know. THEY CHUCKLE.

Coffee? Thanks.

Well, aren't you the dark horse?

Yeah, Shiv, didn't know

you had a boyfriend.

So, are you an artist, Alex?

Me? No.

Oh, thank God.

Not that we don't love artists.

ALEX CHUCKLES

I was a chef for ten years,

but now I'm more on the

business side of things.

He owns three restaurants.

Three restaurants?!

Yeah. One of them

has a Michelin star.

f*ck off! A Michelin?!

Yeah. I mean, that's

Jeez, seriously, that

What are you doing with Shiv?

Don't know.

Maybe I was blinded by her beauty,

charisma and incredible talent?

Right. Yeah.

Well, I wish I could stay,

but I'm meeting Billy.

Tom, when do you think you're

gonna get the van back?

Cos I need the car, and

it's been three weeks.

Well, er, if you need it now,

sure I can leave it here.

We're just packing boxes today.

Yeah, but when will

you be getting the van?

Er, better go. I'm

catching the bus.

Oh, Jesus. These kippers

are almost sexual.

DOOR CLOSES

How are you getting

on with the steps?

Good, yeah.

Billy's so supportive.

I know the moral inventory

can be, er, emotional.

If you need any I

thought it was fine.

You've done the moral

inventory? Uh-huh.

Takes some people m-months.

I think they make a bit of a song

and dance about all of this stuff.

Billy says it's as

hard as you make it.

Just shut up and get

on with it, you know.

SHIV CHUCKLES

Oh, for f*ck's sake.

Pathetic.

PHONE RINGS

Hey.

SHANE: 'Hey, babe. You

all set for tonight?'

Oh, what's tonight?

'Brittas, baby.

'Massive session at

Whiteser's, remember?'

Oh, erm 'Right on the beach.

'We got a keg, we've

got a bag of billies.

'We're gonna party

till we puke. Ha-ha.'

sh*t, I forgot.

I-I can't come to

Brittas this weekend.

'Why?' Work, yeah.

'It's a bank holiday, baby.'

I know, but I'm trying

to make consultant, so

'sh*t. Look, I'm

seriously horny, too.'

Yeah, me, too. Me, too.

'Could you send me a

snap of your t*ts?'

A what? 'Or your p*ssy.

'Last time you did that, it

was kind of blurry, so'

I'm outside a school, Shane!

'Why?' Doesn't matter.

Look, erm, could I

just call you later?

I'm kind of in the

middle of something here.

'Sure, babe, yeah. Er, think

about the t*ts snap'

PHONE RINGS

'What?' Shiv's got a boyfriend.

What?! 'Yeah.'

He owns three restaurants,

he just cooked breakfast,

and he's actually

kind of a ride.

Yeah, big f*cking ride.

How did this happen?

Did you tell her about

the Michelin star?

Oh, he's got a Michelin star.

A Michelin s

Does he know she's an alcoholic?

I think he's kind of into it.

Ah, sh*t! Er, the

tram's here. I gotta go.

'Later, dude. Later,

later, later.'

Thanks for this

morning. With my family.

You were amazing.

It was great to meet them.

They seemed

exactly like you said.

THEY LAUGH Yeah.

They They can be a bit

Nah, they were fine.

Yeah? Yeah.

Are they always so?

What? HE CHUCKLES.

Like, just the way they talk

about your art and stuff.

Ah, no. That's just

It's just banter.

You know, they slag you off

and say, "Get a real job",

but they don't, like

they don't, like, mean it.

OK.

I caused them a lot of

hassle in the past, so

So they appreciate how

much you've changed, then?

And how brave that's been?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

No judgement. I don't even

speak to half my family.

Is this a bit weird? Me

taking you to a graveyard?

I thought this is

where Carl's

Yeah, but it suddenly feels

like, I don't know, after

breakfast and all the, the.

I don't wanna freak you out.

Definitely not freaked out.

OK? Yeah, OK.

THEY LAUGH

Come on.

Wait, that's my dad. I

thought he'd left for a shift.

Maybe we should give

him some space, yeah?

Yeah.

Actually, you go on. I'm

just I'm gonna stay here.

OK.

Yeah, sorry, erm, I

can't make it in today.

Feeling really rough

with that stomach thing.

Yeah, I need to rest.

Er, I'll check in

with you later.

Yeah. Bye.

Caroline? Brian.

Handy you were in the area.

I know, yeah. Really handy.

First time I've had a

date on my lunch break.

Right. I've got 45 minutes.

Oh, OK. Busy woman.

So, tell me about you, Brian.

What do you do,

what are your goals?

Where do you see yourself

in five to ten years

married, kids,

none of the above?

Er, order first. Obviously.

HE GRUNTS

PHONE CHIMES

Ah, f!

Bernie.

Jack! Looking gorgeous.

Mmm, you smell musky.

I haven't had a shower today.

Haven't had a shower all week.

Back to nature, Bernie. Huh?

And who's this? Isn't she great?

This is Stevie.

After Stevie Nicks?

Could be, yeah. Could be.

You know, I really

shouldn't be meeting you.

Shiv said I know.

I bumped into her.

I just wanna talk

to her, Bernie. Mm.

There's been a lot going on, and

she's one of my oldest mates.

Yeah.

And I'm a dad now.

Think you could help me?

No, there's been

Look, I-I've been working

for this company

No, look, I-I just I just

want to be treated like

Hello? Hello?! Agh!

WHISPERS: What the f*ck?

SHE CLEARS THROA

Karen? It's Caroline. Yeah.

Unreal. HE CHUCKLES

Liam. Liam.

Hey.

So exciting, isn't it? Yeah.

Being on a date.

I love successful,

ambitious women.

I'm happy to be supported

financially by a woman.

I make little porcelain

animals for kids.

Mainly pigs. Do you like pigs?

It's not un-feminist to

suggest a girl should shave.

I shave, I shave

every f*cking day.

I suppose I don't really

have, like goal-goals.

I love pigs.

I'm like a dolphin

underneath this. OK.

Caroline? Hi.

Oh, wow, I know that look.

SHE SIGHS

How many have you done

today? How many what?

OK, I'll go first.

SOFTLY: Six.

Dates?! HE CHUCKLES.

SHE SCOFFS

Yeah. I like to get

them done in one big go.

Saves a bit of time,

doesn't eat into my week.

Right.

Although, some days HE SIGHS

I've had eight double

espressos, two green teas

and not a single ounce of

sexual chemistry today.

Oh, tell me about it.

Erm, Nick, graphic designer.

Laid-back, but with

a sense of purpose.

Caroline. Exhausted.

HE CHUCKLES

Erm coffee?

PHONE VIBRATES

SHE SIGHS

Just Just a second.

Shiv, I've got two minutes,

my date just got here.

You're back dating again?

What happened to Shane?

'Nothing.'

But, I mean, you know, is he

100% the right guy for me?

Maybe not. Could there

be someone better?

Very possibly.

Are our values in

any way aligned? No.

I mean, these are big decisions.

You don't just glom onto the

first guy who shows an interest.

'By the way, I hear

you've a boyfriend?'

Yeah, Alex.

And he's normal?

I'm going to ignore that.

Erm, look, I was just calling

in case you know of any reason

why Dad's spent the last few hours

picking up piles of dog sh*t.

Dogshit? W-Why isn't he at work?

I don't know. Should

we be worried?

About what?

'Dad!' Brilliant.

Can you call in 20 and

say he's in hospital?

What?! Well, in case

this guy's a freak.

If he's not, obviously,

I just won't pick up. OK.

Caro

SHE SIGHS So, sorry about that.

It was my PA.

So, Nick coffee?

f*ck it. Let's get wine.

SHE CHUCKLES

Oh, my God

HE SOBS

Hey!

What the f*ck, man?!

What are you doing?

Ugh

Should we call the cops?

No. No.

Are you sure it wasn't

some kind of kinky thing?

You know, rubber

gloves, sandwich bag

Whiff of flasher

off it, isn't there?

He was crying, Karen.

He's having a breakdown.

Probably, yeah.

But sure, who isn't?

Anyway, the good news

is, you stayed out of it.

That's recovery.

Stay in your own business,

clean up your own

side of the street.

I mean, he's probably

already cleaned it, but

KAREN CHUCKLES

So you don't think I should

say something to him?

Tell him what I No! Not

unless he comes to you.

Besides, men his age

are very sensitive.

And they die.

They die? Mm.

Unless they have

a woman. Or a man.

Or a dog, you know,

something to keep living for.

I can't just let him die.

Yeah, but you can't control him

either, cos that's co-dependency.

So what am I supposed to do?

Hand it over, share

it with the group.

That's what we're here for.

Right, everyone, we're starting!

SOFTLY: Hiya,

Frankie. Good woman.

MAN: Shiv. Oh, hi.

Sorry, we're about to

have a meeting in here.

Yeah, I was hoping I could join.

Fine.

Christ.

So, Bernie.

You're wanting to release

some finance? Yeah.

I have all the paperwork here.

And the amount you're

looking for is?

HE CHUCKLES SOFTLY

You and Tom must have big

plans up your sleeve. Yeah.

So, yeah, when the addict-y

voice in my head starts going off

and I start feeling all edgy

just have to keep

reminding myself,

a drink won't sort it.

A drink never sorts it.

Thanks, Mags. WOMAN:

Nice one, Mags.

Anyone else Thanks.

Have something to share?

Something they want to

get off their chest?

SHE SCOFFS

Yeah.

Erm, I'll go.

Hi, I'm Jack.

You don't have to stand.

Oh.

I'm Jack, and, er, this

is my first meeting.

APPLAUSE MAN: Well done.

WOMAN: Yeah, well done.

Thanks.

Er It's inspiring

listening to you guys.

Your, your vulnerability

I've had a bit of a time of

it these past few months

Er, I suppose you might

call it a a wake-up call?

MAN: Yeah. WOMAN: Mm, yeah.

Had to take a good

hard look at myself.

My My behaviour, some of

the things that I've done

people I've hurt

HE CHUCKLES

Hasn't been easy, but

This group is for alcoholics.

Er Yeah.

Did I not say that

at the start? No.

I'm an alcoholic. Mm-hm.

He's not an alcoholic. OK.

I could be an alcoholic.

That's not how this works.

Can we stop the

cross-sharing, please?

This group is for

actual alcoholics.

Who are you to say who's

an actual alcoholic? Yeah!

You shouldn't be here!

You can't tell him not to be

here if he's got a drink problem.

I might have a drink

problem. WOMAN: Yeah.

He doesn't have a

f*cking drink problem!

Right, you, out!

Me?! Now!

Come on.

Now look what you've done.

You made the babby

cry. WOMAN: Ah.

BABY CRIES

Er Hold on a sec.

Max, my man! How you getting on?

Well, we'll get to the

quarter, look at the figures.

Probably have to make

some tough decisions.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Course.

Yeah.

Well, I've had a sh*t day,

but my boss likes you.

Obviously.

How are you? Good.

I have some news. Hm?

My brother Peter got

that job in Spain. Mm.

He's moving out next month.

So you wanna rent it out?

So we'll have the

place to ourselves.

You want me to move in?

Things are getting pretty crowded at

your folks' place, don't you think?

So, would I pay rent or?

We'll work something out.

What do you mean?

Don't worry about it. We'll

We'll do mates' rates.

I-I don't need mates' rates.

Do you not think I

can pay my own way?

Well, no, but, you know, you've

been living at home, so

I don't need you doing

me any favours, Max

I'm not. I just

What's wrong with you? I

thought you'd be happy.

I am, yeah.

I just need to think

about it, that's all.

Sure. Think about it.

Spreadsheet porn is a thing.

I They arouse me. I

don't know what to say.

THEY CHUCKLE

Erm One more

glass? Yeah, let me.

No, I'll get this one. No.

You got the bottle. It's fine.

OK. SHE GROANS

Are you OK?

Yeah, it's just, erm

It's just this indigestion

thing that I get.

Do you need me to? Oh!

sh*t! CUTLERY CLATTERS.

What the f*ck?!

You cannot behave like

that in a meeting.

He gate-crashed!

He has the right to be there.

How did he even know

which meeting I'd be in?

I don't know.

Shiv For f*ck's sake.

You might wanna

give her some space.

Shiv! What the hell do

you think you're doing?

I didn't know how else

to reach you. Oh, my God.

Can you just let me explain?!

I was an as*h*le, OK?!

I was a complete and

utter f*cking as*h*le,

and I owe you an apology.

Kirsten and I broke up.

She kicked me out. Good!

She wants to take

Stevie to Berlin.

And I'm not gonna

let her do that,

cos she's, like

she's, like, the best thing

that's ever happened, and

Isn't that right, Stevie?

And a kid needs her da, so

It's just been a bit

of a shitty time.

I could use an old friend.

CAR HORN HONKS

I have to go.

I'm sorry you're having

a sh*t time, Jack.

But I can't help you.

We're not friends.

Hey! Ah, hi.

Are you OK? Yeah, yeah.

Who's that? No-one.

It's just, er, my ex.

Ah.

Can we go? Yeah.

Do you wanna take

my number? Thanks.

I have your scans.

Is the? The guy who brought me

here, is he still outside, or?

Didn't see anyone.

So, I've got some good news,

and I have some bad news.

Well, don't tell me I'm

dying, cos I'm on a timeline.

I know.

See here? Little cyst

on your right ovary.

It's likely benign, but with the

pain you've been experiencing,

it's just best we check it out.

A cyst? Yeah.

Very common in early pregnancy.

Won't affect the baby.

Baby? What are

you, 13, 14 weeks?

Don't worry, I

won't tell anyone.

I know what they're like around

here, f*cking boys' club!

So, you're a bit dehydrated.

We're gonna keep you in overnight.

Do some more bloods in the morning.

Get some rest. You're

gonna to need it, Mama.

How do we never see it coming?

The game was up before I knew

How do we never see it coming?

Really all I saw was you

I don't know what we're doing

But I'm terrified to ask

For fear that I might ruin it

I wanna make it last

The twin bed By

the white ledge