08x01 - Rats

[bunniefuu]

[Gloria] Places!

[Ant'ney] Ahem.

Welcome to the production
of "Rats on Broadway"!

Our story starts on a
quiet, peaceful night

at the habitat.

Pickles and Dave sleep
soundly in the tree, snoring.

When suddenly...

[Gloria] Hiyah!

Beware of Gloria the ninja!

[Marty] Nice try, but you're
no match for Cowboy Marty!

[Melman] I. Am. A.
Robot. Bleep bloop.

I. Will. Defeat you!

[Alex] It is I! King Alex,
ruler of the habitat.

Beware my royal pillow!

[laughing]

[Pickles] Hey! Keep your
feathers out of our banana pile.

[Gloria] This ninja is sleepy!

[Melman] Me. Too. Meep moop.

[Marty] Uh... Aren't you
forgetting something?

[Melman] Oh. Right. Clean up!

[Gloria] Hold
on. Where's Alex?

[yawn]

[clears throat]

- [Marty] Really?
- [Alex] What?

I'm a king, and
kings don't clean.

[Gloria] They do when
they've made a royal mess!

[laughing]

[Pickles] Don't forget to
sweep the royal banana pile!

[Alex] I got it!

[laughing]

♪ It's a wild, wild world ♪

♪ And it's calling our name ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

♪ So let's get on our way ♪

♪ To have fun
Through the tunnel ♪

♪ See the big, big city ♪

♪ Everybody get ready ♪

♪ Get ready! ♪

♪ Time to go a little wild ♪

♪ We could go a million miles ♪

♪ Can I get a "Hey, oh!" ♪

♪ Can I get a "Let's go!" ♪

♪ On a journey, all smiles ♪

♪ Time to go a little wild! ♪♪

[Alex] Uh?

Ta-da!

- [Marty] Woohoo!
- [Gloria] Go, Alex!

[Alex] Thank you, thank you!

[Marty] Great show,
my main mammal!

Come on over, we saved
you some dumplings!

[Alex] Uh?

[Marty] Where are you going?

[Gloria] Yeah, what could be
more important than dumplings?

[Alex] A rat!

[Melman] Um, Alex.
This isn't the wild.

We eat takeout, not our friends.

[Alex] I'm not gonna eat
Rocky, I just wanna...

Aha!

[Rocky] Ah...

Hello, mates.

[Gloria] Why are you
hiding behind a bush?

[Marty] Wait a
minute, you catalog

all the plants in
the habitat, too?

[Rocky] Uh, no, actually,

I've been taking
notes on Alex's shows.

[Alex] Well, my
shows are noteworthy!

[Rocky] They are! Also
because, you see...

I want to put on
a show of my own!

[Gloria] Oh, awesome!

I've been hoping for another
rocking Rocky rock concert!

[Rocky] Actually, this
one'll be a little different.

More like, uh, why
don't I just show you?

Follow me, to the tunnels!

We'll take the back way!

[all] There's a back way?

[Melman] Wait for me!

[gasp]

[Gloria] Wow!

[Riley] "But my cheese and
I have come a long way.

Surely you have room
for me and my..."

¿Cheese?

[Raphael] "Get away
from me, foul rodent.

Or you will face my
rat!" My wrath? Wrath.

[Rocky] I've
written a musical!

It's all about My
Great Grandma Myrtle,

who came to New
York with nothing

but a block of cheese
and a heart of gold.

I call it: RATS under Broadway!

[Alex] Wow! Your
show is on Broadway?

[Rocky] Oh, uh, no,
that's under Broadway.

[Riley] Oh, Broadway
is the ultimate dream.

[Raphael] But for now, the
show premieres tonight,

- right here in the tunnels!
- [Marty] I didn't know you write musicals.

[Rocky] This is my first one.
I'm an expert in rock n' roll...

[guitar plays]

but when it comes to musicals,
I don't know a thing.

That's why I've
been studying Alex,

the king of showbiz!

- [Raphael] Yeah!
- [Riley] You're the best!

[Alex] Oh, stop.

Unless you had more to say?

[Rocky] You're my inspiration.

In fact, if you...

No, never mind.

[Alex] No, no, tell
me! If I, what?

[Rocky] I wonder if
you could possibly,

maybe, perchance
direct our show?

[Alex] You'd trust me to
direct your very first musical?

About your great grandma Myrtle?

[Melman] You should do it, Alex!
You'd be a great director...

- [Alex] Thanks!
- [Melman] ...even though you have no experience

and know nothing about it!

[Alex] I wouldn't
say I know nothing...

[Melman] Ok, I'll say it.
You know nothing about it.

[Alex] Would you
excuse us for a moment?

[Rocky] Sure.

[Alex] As a performer, I
can't let them down here.

[Gloria] Acting and
directing are different.

You'd be in charge
of the entire show.

[Marty] And putting
on a whole musical?

It sounds like it's
pretty important to Rocky,

- ya sure you can handle it?
- [Alex] Guys, I've got this.

I'm gonna make sure
RATS best show ever!

Rocky! You've got
yourself a director!

- [Rocky] Woohoo!
- [Raphael] All right!

[Riley] You're the best!

[Alex] Now twirl to the left.

Now back to the right!

And... big finish!

[cheering]

[Rocky] Wow! If that's what
you do with one rehearsal,

I can't wait to see how you
bring the whole show to life!

[Alex] Well, I have done
my share of dance routines.

They're kind of my forte.

[Rocky] With huge backdrops
and a giant spotlight

and hundreds of fans
in the audience, I bet!

[Riley] Can you imagine us?

On a real Broadway stage?

[Rocky] Great Grandma Myrtle
always loved Broadway.

But for now, our humble
tunnels will have to do.

[Alex] Maybe not!

All Broadway theaters
are closed on Mondays,

so the cast and crew
can get a break.

[Melman] Today is Monday!

[Alex] And the stages will
be empty and human-free.

It's the perfect night

for an animals-only premiere
of RATS On Broadway!

[Rocky] Ya mean
RATS Under Broadway

would really be
RATS On Broadway?

Oh, Alex. I can't
thank you enough!

I knew you'd know how to
bring my show to life!

[Raphael] Putting on
an entire Broadway show

in a single day!

Who knew it could be done?

[Alex] Uh, your
director, that's who!

We'll have this production
up in lights by tomorrow!

[Melman] Today.

- [Rocky] Yeah!
- [Raphael] Let's go!

[Marty] Broadway,
here we come!

[Pickles] Not so fast!

[Melman] Pickles! Dave!
But how did you...?

[Pickles] Thought
you could skate by us

without paying a toll?

Tsk tsk tsk.

[Alex] How about two
front row tickets

to RATS On Broadway?

[Pickles] Now
that's more like it.

Do you know how many bananas
we can get for these?

You may pass.

♪ Woa! Let's go find
A little adventure ♪

♪ Let's make it A
day to remember ♪

♪ Let's find something
new We can explore ♪

♪ Ooh, explore ♪

♪ Let's go find A
little adventure ♪

♪ Let's make it A
day to remember ♪

♪ Let's charge Through
every open door ♪

♪ Adventure's calling! ♪♪

[Gloria] Let's move!

[Alex] Welcome to Broadway!

It's practically my second home!

[Rats] Wow!

[Rocky] We've never been
in a theater like this.

Mind giving us a tour?

[Alex] Sure! This is the
house, that's the stage,

and backstage is this way.

[Marty] Uh... Alex? Backstage?

[Alex] I mean, that way!

This is what you call
a "dressing room."

Actors use it to get ready
before going onstage.

Royal mess!

[Riley] Do they usually keep

cleaning supplies
in dressing rooms?

[Alex] Uh...

To the wings!

[Raphael] What are
these ropes for, Alex?

[Alex] For, uh, swinging
across the stage

when you want to
shock the audience

with a surprise entrance!

[scream]

Uh... bet you were surprised!

[groan]

[Gloria] Alex, are you
sure you can handle

being in charge of Rocky's show?

[Alex] Sure! I mean
mostly, somewhat-ish.

I'll just keep pretending I know
what I'm doing till I figure it out.

Y'know, fake it till I make it!
Now, it's time to get to work.

My director's vision
is telling me that...

Marty! You're in charge of music

and those big bright
roundy things.

[Marty] Uh... lights?

[Alex] Sure. Remember,

when in doubt, go
brighter and louder!

[Marty] If you say so.

- [Alex] Melman, you're on applause duty!
- [Melman] Ay ay, captain!

[Alex] Gloria, would you
be my assistant director?

You'll be my eyes and
ears for the entire show!

[Gloria] Oh, I think
I can handle that!

[Alex] Great. Okay,
everybody! Let's do this!

Let's go over the big
opening dance number.

Marty? Music!

[Marty] Ready!

[Rocky] Quite loud, isn't it?

[Alex] Yep! Just
like the big city.

[Rocky] Apologies, you're
the expert director.

I'll let you direct expertly.

[Alex] And I won't
let you down!

♪ So many opportunities... ♪♪

[Alex] See,
Gloria? I got this.

Great work, dancers! Next scene!

[Rat Dancer] Thanks! Don't
you wanna see the whole thing?

[Alex] Uh, nope.
Looked great to me!

-[Rat Dancer] What should we do now?
-[Alex] Oh! Uh...

Just go backstage
and keep practicing.

Practice makes perfect!

[Rat Dancer] Whatever
you say, boss!

[Rocky] That's Lois.
She's the narrator.

[Lois] Ahem.

"There once was a country
rat named... uh..."

[Rocky] Myrtle.

[Lois] Right. "Myrtle.

Who landed in New York with
nothing but a block of..."

Uh...

[Rocky] Cheese?

[Lois] "Cheese."
I'm sorry, Rocky!

[Rocky] That's okay, Lois!

She's been having a hard
time memorizing her lines.

Perhaps you have
some tips for her?

[Alex] Tips? Of course
your director has tips!

Just... take a nap! Using
the script as a pillow!

The words will magically
go into your head.

Oldest trick in the book.

[Lois] Wow! Thanks, Alex!

I'll take that nap right now.

[Gloria] You think that works?

[Alex] Sure! Doesn't
everyone know that?

Next!

- [Dax] Hey! Hey, Alex!
- [Alex] What can I do you for, Dax?

[Dax] I'm going to
make a fake cheese prop

for the opening number.

How big do you want it?

[Alex] Fake? No
fake cheese here.

I promised Rocky a real
Broadway production,

and that includes real cheese.

Let's just use that big ol'
hunk of Swiss from the tunnels.

[gasp]

[Gloria] Alex, that's Rocky's
special family cheese, remember?

[Rocky] If Alex thinks we
should use the family cheese,

then we should use
the family cheese!

[Dax] Okay, Rocky,
you're the boss...

[Rocky] No, Dax. In
here, Alex is the boss!

[Gloria] Uh...

[Raphael] Uh,
Alex! Got a second?

I'm nervous about
playing the villain.

How should I talk?
Or walk? Or breathe?

[Alex] Don't just act
like you're a villain.

You must be the villain.

Mwahaha!

Method acting!

[Raphael] "Be the villain."

Thanks, Alex, you're amazing!

[evil laugh]

[Rocky] Ooh, Riley's
up now. Come, Alex!

[Alex] Looking good, dancers!

[Rat Dancer] Still
practicing, like you said!

[groan]

♪ To believe In
one small thing ♪♪

[Rocky] Well?

[Alex] It sounds... perfect.

[Riley] Oh! Thank you, Alex!

But surely you have ideas
to make it even better?

[Alex] Uh, well, try to
sing as high as you can.

The best divas reach notes
so high they can break glass!

[gasp]

[Riley] Wow. I
did not know that.

- [Gloria] Yeah, me neither...
- [Alex] Little known fact,

that's where the phrase
"smash hit" comes from.

[Riley] Thanks, Alex!

I'll do whatever it takes
to make my solo a smash!

[Gloria] Alex, maybe
it's time to admit

you don't know
what you're doing,

before things get
out of control.

[Alex] How could they
get out of control?

[Rat Dancer] I can't remember
what I was supposed to do!

[Extra 1] What's
the meaning of life?

[Dax] Where do you
want the boxes?

[Extra 2] I don't know
where the shoes are!

[Lois] Alex, I still
don't know my lines!

[Extra 3] Have a tape
measure? Do we need it?

[Rat Dancer] Our legs
are getting tired...

[Dax] Are you sure you're sure
about the real cheese, Alex?

[evil laugh]

[Raphael] Was that villainous
enough? I don't think so.

[Alex] Uh... You're right.
I've gotta tell them.

Everybody? Everybody!

There's something I have to say.

Wait, where's Rocky?

[Rocky] Alex!

Alex!

I just heard
through the ratvine:

Great Grandma Myrtle
is coming all the way

from Vermont tonight!

She can't wait to see
how we tell her story!

[cheering]

[Alex] Uhm...

[Rocky] I'm sorry, Alex, was
I interrupting something?

[Alex] Oh. No, I was
just going to say...

I've reserved a seat
for Great Grandma Myrtle

right up front.

Because tonight's
show is gonna be epic!

♪

[humming]

♪

[laugh]

♪

Oh, boy.

[Marty] Did you know this many
animals were coming to the show?

[Rocky] Thank you, Alex,

for bringing RATS
On Broadway to life.

This is a dream come
true, not just for me,

but for my Great Grandma Myrtle.

[Marty] Ready to get
this show on the road?

- [Gloria] Woah! Alex!
- [Rats] Yeah!

[Alex] All right,
then! Places, everyone!

Lots of energy, dancers!

[cheering]

[Melman] Yeah! C'mon! You
can do it! Go, go, go! Yeah!

♪ If you got big dreams ♪

♪ This is the place To
make them come true ♪

♪ So many opportunities
Waiting for you ♪

[groan]

[Marty] Alex, I think
it's too bright.

[Alex] Nah, it's good.
Turn up the music!

♪ You gonna make
All these dreams ♪

♪ Then never sleep ♪

♪ This is the big land... ♪

[Rocky] Why do the
dancers all look so tired?

[Melman] I don't remember
this from rehearsal...

♪ This is the place to be ♪

♪ No other place
I can compare ♪♪

[gasp]

[Melman] I definitely
don't remember this

from rehearsal.

Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!

[screaming]

[Alex] Oh, no.

Hurry, get the narrator
out there. Where is she?

Lois? Lois!

Never mind, Lois...

Riley! We're losing
the audience.

I need you to go out there!

[Riley] But it's
not my cue yet!

[Alex] Just cut
to the big finish!

[gasp]

[Alex] Marty!

♪ Yeah ♪♪

Oh...

♪ Can I find the strength ♪

♪ To believe In one
small thing... ♪♪

[Alex] What is she doing?

[scream]

[howling]

[screaming]

[heavy breathing]

[sigh]

[Riley] Technically
that was a smash...

[Gloria] This is a disaster!

Alex, you gotta do something
to save the show...

[Raphael] Don't worry,
Alex. I know what to do.

[evil laugh]

[evil laugh]

[scream]

[evil laugh]

[Alex] Raphael!
What are you doing?

[Raphael] Being the villain!

[evil laugh]

[scream]

[scream]

[Ant'ney] Woo...

[screaming]

[Melman] Woo! Bravo!

Bravo, oh...

[Alex] Rocky! I know this
looks bad, but I can fix it.

I know exactly...

[Rocky] I know what
went wrong here, Alex.

You don't have to
say another word.

Thank you for coming.

I didn't know anything
about musical theater,

but I thought I could learn.

It's clear by what
we've seen tonight

I was wrong.

Great Grandma Myrtle,

I am sorry for making a
mockery of your story.

The show is cancelled

and I'm giving up
theater for good.

[gasp]

[Alex] We can't
cancel the show.

I'll fix this! I have all the...

[screaming]

[Alex] answers.

[sigh]

[Rocky] I'm sorry, Alex.

Not even an expert like
you can save this show.

[moaning]

[Gloria] Maybe we should go
over there and cheer him up.

[Marty] I dunno. Kinda seems
like he needs some space.

[moaning]

[Melman] Maybe I can
try clapping for him?

Oh, yeah!

♪

[Marty] Where's that
music coming from?

[Alex] Huh?

♪

♪ How could I believe that ♪

♪ I could do this ♪

♪ I was a fool to think that ♪

♪ I would do anything But fail ♪

♪ Let everyone down by ♪

♪ I'm coming through, yeah ♪

♪ I made a mistake And my
heart is aching now ♪♪♪

[Gloria] Where are you going?

[Alex] To tell
Rocky the truth.

♪

[sobbing]

[Rocky] Oh, hello!
What a nice surprise.

- [Gloria] Hiya.
- [Marty] Hey, Rocky.

[Melman] What a wonderfully
depressing song!

[Rocky] If I can't
put on a musical,

at least I can still
play my guitar.

Guess I should just
stick to what I know.

[Alex] I've gotta
tell you something.

[Rocky] You do? Oh, well,
let's gather the g*ng!

[Alex] Uh, no, that's okay.

- [Rat 1] Hey!
- [Rat 2] Hi!

[Riley] You rang, Rocky?

[Rocky] Shh. Shh. Everyone!

Alex has something
really important

to tell all of us.

[gasp]

[Alex] Uh... okay.

It's my fault the
show was a disaster.

[Rocky] No, Alex...

[Alex] I pretended I
was an expert director.

I'm not.

[gasp]

All the things I said
about acting, dancing,

singing, the cheese, I
didn't know what I was doing,

but I was too
embarrassed to admit it.

I didn't want to let you down.

You better find someone
else to look up to,

because I'm the real reason
your Broadway show was a bust.

[Rocky] I still look
up to you, Alex.

I mean, you're kind of tall,

but, no animal has
all the answers,

except maybe an octopus,
they're highly intelligent.

You ever see one open
a jar of peanut butter?

Besides, I didn't need a
fancy Broadway premiere.

I just wanted to put on a
show about New York, cheese,

and my Great Grandma Myrtle
with help from my friends...

[Rats] Yeah!

[Rocky] And the great Alex.

[Alex] Well, if there's
one thing I do know,

it's that the show must go on!

[Rats] Yeah!

[Rocky] But we can't
go back to the theater.

[Alex] I say we premiere the
show right here in the tunnels.

Only this time, I won't pretend
to have all the answers.

Who's with me?

[cheering]

[both] Let's do this!

[cheering]

[Lois] Welcome to...

[Alex] Hit it!

[Lois] RATS Under Broadway...

in the tunnels!

♪ If you've got big dreams ♪

♪ This is the place To
make them come true ♪

♪ So many opportunities
Waiting for you ♪♪

♪

[evil laugh]

[gasp]

[evil laugh]

♪ Never felt so small before ♪

♪ Like I might not make it ♪

♪ But some days The
world's so big ♪

♪ It feels like
I can't take it ♪

♪ Feels like I'm breaking ♪

♪ Like I'm mistaken ♪

♪ Can I find the strength ♪

♪ To believe In
one small thing ♪♪

♪

[cheering]

[Melman] Woohoo!

This is the best
show ever, guys!

Rats! Rats! Rats!

[Alex] Woohoo! Encore! Yeah!

[cheering]

[Rocky] Congratulations,
director!

Maybe you could make a show
for your own species, next.

You could call it: Kitties!

[Alex] Hmm... I like that.

But only if you write the music.

[guitar plays]

[Rocky] Woohoo! Yeah.

[Ant'ney] And thus ends the
tale of RATS on Broadway!

Until the sequel.

[evil laugh]

♪ Woa! Let's go find
A little adventure ♪

♪ Let's make it A
day to remember ♪

♪ Let's find something
new We can explore ♪

♪ Ooh, explore ♪

♪ Let's go find A
little adventure ♪

♪ Let's make it A
day to remember ♪

♪ Let's charge Through
every open door ♪

♪ Woa! ♪

♪ Adventure's calling! ♪♪