02x05 - A Change Gon' Come, b*tch?

[bunniefuu]

[mellow dance music playing]

I just think 39 is gonna
be an amazing year.

Like, I say I'mma do something,
and I actually do it.

I'm a business owner.
I'm a business owner!

- I own a business!
- [chuckles]

God, this age is amazing.

Why was I so scared of
it? I don't understand.

- [Marley] Mm-mm.
- You still tryin' to have kids?

- What are you...
- You trying to yuck my yum?

Why would you ask her somethin'
like that on her birthday?

- What is wrong with you?
- What?

Excuse me, Dr. Phil, what
are you talkin' about?

I j... I mean, I just thought we was all
just sharin' and talkin'. Thirty-nine!

One necklace from
the Erykah Badu line,

and now you're all up
in a woman's business?

Look, I thought this was a
rose-and-thorn situation. My bad.

What the f*ck are you, some kinda
n*gga poet laureate or some sh*t?

All right, all right, all right!

[cheering and applause]

Okay, okay.

Now, y'all know it would not be

a Mavis Beaumont
birthday extravaganza

without some bad b*tches
shakin' a*s and d*ck up in here.

[cheering]

[Peppermint] Now,
welcome to the stage

Precinct 69.

[sultry music playing]

[Peppermint] Give it
up for Judge Boot-ay.

Booty!

[Peppermint] Captain Ramrod
is about to hose you down

and get you all wet.

Whoa!

[cheering and applause]

Oh! Best birthday ever!

Someone please call 911
'cause Officer Longstroke

is gonna patrol your
home with his nightstick.

[cheering]

Everybody down on
the f*cking ground!

- Oh my God.
- [cheering stops]

And put your a*s
where I can see it.

[cheering and applause]

Okay, I get it, I get it.

[sultry music continues]

Okay, yes!

♪ I like it like that, she... ♪

- What's up, Freckles?
- [Mavis] What's up, Dimples? [chuckles]

- I was hopin' you were the birthday girl.
- Oh, I am.

I've been over there
checkin' you out all night.

- You have?
- [man] Yeah.

- [Mavis] How old are you?
- [man] Old enough.

[Mavis] Old enough
to rent a car?

I need to frisk you.

Yo, I'd really like to
take you out sometime.

That number calls my phone.

Oh, that makes sense.

- [man] Yeah.
- Yeah.

Oh wow! Wow-wow-wow-wee-wow!

[funky beat playing]

♪ Okay One time for the
big girls in the crowd ♪

♪ Hey! Hear me now ♪

♪ Go on, sis, yeah Show
'em how to work it out ♪

- [sexy music playing]
- ♪ For you, you know I break the rules ♪

♪ I don't need nobody's body ♪

♪ To make me feel this good ♪

♪ Yeah, you make
me feel so good ♪

♪ Come get me hot
like you promised ♪

♪ Hot like you promised ♪

♪ You know that I
know you want it ♪

♪ I know you want it ♪

♪ You say I'm good
under pressure ♪

♪ Good under pressure ♪

♪ You know that I... ♪

Wow.

Marley, that was...

[music fades out]

...amazing.

What the f*ck?

[Daphne] Baby, are you crying?

Whoa! Are you okay, babe?

I'm good. I'm great. [chuckles]

I'm so good. You
good? I'm great. Uh...

- [thud]
- Agh!

Oh!

Why the f*ck is this here?

You know you don't
have to go, right?

I got business. The markets aren't gonna
Dow and Jones all by themselves, okay?

[tense music playing]

[chuckles] Bye.

See, that's the thing about
the old cuts of men's suits.

Like, they just don't
fit a big chest or hips.

Yeah, it's my dad's. It
doesn't quite fit me,

but I wanted to surprise him and
wear it to his retirement party.

Aw, that's so special. I
love that. You know what?

Day. Day'll get you suited up.

- Thank you.
- Thanks.

- Mavis.
- Hey.

Shut up. She's right behind me.

She doesn't know she wasn't
invited to your birthday party.

She was invited to my party.

- I needed the night off.
- What?

Hi. Oh, it's a hug.

I'm scared. That's nice.
It feels really sincere.

Will you look at this place?

I can't believe you turned down
working for me exclusively to, uh...

oh... open a... indoor campsite.

Okay, thank you? Uh,
can I give you a tour?

Natasha, say you'd
like to see the place.

You'd like to see the place.

[squealing] Yeah, okay!

Over here, we have our corner
where you can get final touches

before you go out for the evening.
It's called our zhuzhing station.

- Ugh, I love a g*y verb.
- Same, b*tch. You know what it is.

And over here, we have this rack called
"On the Plus Side," kind of like...

Oh, Mavis. How
long is this tour?

Feels like I've been
here for an hour.

I mean, obviously, I came
here because I need something.

That took longer than I thought.

I am getting the Icon Award
from Harper's Bazaar. Applause.

And I would like
you to style me.

I don't know who else is getting the
award. Probably Bella, Gigi Hadid.

What? Oh my God. Me?

Mavis Jolie Beaumont
styling for Harper's Bazaar.

It's almost bizarre. Oh
my God! I just can't!

Did I get a little moist? Maybe.

- Did she just get Botox?
- Yeah.

But also, I don't care.

What's the vibe? What are you
feeling? What do you wanna look like?

We're going for
empowering but scary.

But only to other women.

Specificity I really like.
That's one thing about you is...

I am just texting my
assistant to re-up my Xanax

because I forgot what it's
like working with you.

Oh, Bruce, just give her
some of mine, please.

- [Mavis] Oh!
- Catch.

Thanks. You got the good kind.

How many can I have?

I told you though. I
told you. I told you.

You bougie. Dah! You are.

And I'm right. I know you are.

Got me at this little fancy spot,
drinking champagne with my pinkie up.

So you do this with
all your clients?

- I mean... only the special ones.
- Oh, the special ones.

- The special ones.
- Ooh, nice.

Cheers to your first big sale.

Yes, thank you for
helping me get that 10K.

Mm-hmm. Now, you said you
had some pieces to show me.

Oh, I do.

Check out... what I got for you.

- Yeah, okay. These are good.
- Yeah?

Similar to the two we just sold.

- [Khalil] You don't like them?
- Yes, I... I do.

- You...
- I do.

I can sell them.

I don't have anything
that's, like... like new...

- Mm-hmm.
- ...new yet.

I'm at... Well, to
be honest with you,

I'm in what's called a, uh...
um... transitional phase.

Right? 'Cause... At least
that's what my therapist said.

A Black male painter in therapy.

- Voluntarily?
- Okay. See, why you gotta do that?

Yeah, look, I'm just... I'm, you know...
I'm trying to... trying to evolve.

Right? And just, you know, see things
through a more, you know, improved lens.

Get to know myself better. Yeah.

That's incredible, and I can't wait
to see what you are gonna create.

I feel like I'm so
lucky that I met you

when you're right on the cusp of
creating new and exciting work.

Yep. That's... I
mean... You see it.

That's where I'm at. I'm
at... I'm on the cusp.

I mean... I mean, it's
a... Wait till you see.

Ooh!

Iconic.

Exciting!

[laid-back music playing]

[Mavis gasps]

Are you robbing me? I didn't know
things were that bad for you.

Excuse me. I'm looking
for dildos, strap-ons.

Any funeral plans. I
just got over my PTSD.

Mavis, I can personally vouch for Natasha.
She promises to be on her best behavior.

And now, to present the Icon Award,
legendary editor, Hannah Sommar.

Thank you. It's been
such an honor...

Oh my God. We're breathing the same air.
I'm gonna save some for later. [inhales]

- She would hate you.
- Hurtful but truthful.

...paved their own
way in fashion.

From Paulina Smirkova's iconic
ads for Pan Am Airlines...

Brava. Look at you. Gorgeous.

...to Vivian Swallwell's
culture-shocking moment,

riding topless on
Michael Dukakis's tank.

Wow-wow-wow-wee-wow! [chuckles]

[whispers] Bruce, what is this?

[Sommar] Thank you.

And last but not least,

Natasha Karina's
jaw-dropping cover

of our very own
Harper's Bazaar 1993...

Where's Gigi?

[Sommar] ...1991, and...

- No.
- ...1988.

[screams] No! No! Move, move!

- You're on your own. Natasha.
- What do you mean I'm on my own?

Natasha, where are you, icon?

Say you're accepting the
award on Natasha's behalf.

- What?!
- [Sommar] Natasha?

Go! Go!

[Mavis] Hi.

How do I get...
How do you get up?

Um... Oh, okay. Hi.

All right, everyone. [chuckles]

- [microphone feeds back]
- Hi, Ms. Sommar.

So nice to meet you. You're
amazing, and I'm Natasha's stylist.

And I'm also your biggest fan.

I mean, you are, um...
just so iconic, and...

[Sommar] Oh, she's
touched by an angel.

- Donate to whatever this is.
- [Mavis] Oh. Uh...

- Security.
- Oh! No, we don't need security.

- [Sommar] Security.
- [Mavis] Wait.

- [man] All right, ma'am. Come on.
- [Mavis] No, you got...

No. No, thank you. I...

[funky music playing]

- [Mavis] Hey, girl!
- Oh, hey! Oh my goodness, you guys.

- Always feel like I'm coming to the MoMA.
- Baby, you're at the Marley MoMA, okay?

- Hey.
- [both] Mwah!

- What up?
- [both] Mwah!

All right, I have some white
wine. I have champagne.

Not the cheap sh*t you
broke b*tches drink.

- How is it?
- This feels...

- [Khalil] This how you do it?
- No. Okay. It's, uh...

- I love the floor.
- [Marley] Sit your a*s on the floor.

This is not comfortable.

Get your little pretty DeBarge
a*s up out of my chair.

- How much did you spend on this chair?
- [Marley] Khalil! Damn it.

You don't know how to sit in it
because this is for the queen's a*s.

Oh. Yeah?

- Oh.
- [thud]

Oh!

[Mavis] You okay?

Don't you f*ck' ask.

- We can circle back.
- I was just pointing.

- Just pointing at it.
- Not a big deal at all.

I'm assuming this is a
Kara Walker original?

[Marley] Duh! [scoffs]
What you think?

I mean, I guess it's cool.
I mean, if, you know...

if you like
silhouettes and sh*t.

I mean, she not better than me just
because she actually finishes her art

or, you know, people like it.

You okay, Khalil?
What's goin' on?

So Simone is excited about this, like,
you know, new artistic phase that I'm in.

But she want new sh*t.
I ain't got new sh*t.

What if the new sh*t don't
compare to the old sh*t?

Then she gon' think
I'm sh*t. Right?

I mean, how come
nobody ever tells you

that it's hard when
somebody believes in you?

Especially when
they fine as f*ck.

It feels like you don't
wanna hear this right now,

but Simone is setting the bar
exactly where it needs to be.

You know, like, you
are so talented,

and you have so much to show the world,
and are you gonna eat this cod cheek?

Because you do a lotta talking
and not a lotta eating.

Mm! So good!

Khalil, babe, just... just stop
acting like a little b*tch, okay?

Just say b*tch. You don't have
to say "little" like that.

Okay? And... and...
and what's up, okay?

'Cause you the one limpin' around
here like Sandra Bullock in Gravity.

Ooh, the accuracy.
That was a good movie.

- Mm-hmm.
- [Marley] Okay, fine.

I'll tell you.

What happened was I

had a nice-a*s time

with this beautiful-a*s woman

that my heart feels warm for.

And I...

I got too comfy. I
did. I got too comfy.

And I let out this

tiny, weak-a*s

- tear...
- Queef?

Tear.

In gratitude to the condition that
I had found myself in, and, um...

Oh God. Now she knows.

- I'm a cuck.
- [Mavis] Okay.

- [Khalil laughing]
- A f*ck' b*tch.

Don't laugh, Khalil.

Yo, I'm sorry, but I ain't
never seen you like this.

And if either of you tell anyone, I
will k*ll the both of you. Trust me.

I drop a pin before I come.

I believe, but I also think my art
would skyrocket. The value, right?

That's nice. Look at
you half full. Go off.

- Yeah, thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

And you wanna know what this
b*tch had the audacity to do?

She rolled up to some
event with some h*

that I found out was her ex-wife

and took a whole bunch of
photos, all lovey-dovey,

and then posted the sh*t online.

Look at this.

You see this sh*t? Look!

- Oh, yeah.
- [Marley] Look at it.

- I'm looking. You see it, Khalil?
- No, I see it. Yeah, I see... I see it.

It looks... like people
standing in a line

and breathing next
to each other and...

Breathing is foreplay, okay, honey?
I mean, whose side are you on?

Okay.

Okay, Mavis, don't get us k*lled.
Uh, Marley, let me say this.

You are the most honest person I've
ever met. I mean, painfully honest.

- Brutally honest.
- Insanely honest.

[phone vibrates]

Talk to Daphne, or this
sh*t ain't gonna work.

You guys, I gotta go.

- Right now?
- Yeah, I got some work sh*t. Natasha!

♪ Is this a lasting treasure ♪

♪ Or just a moment's ♪

♪ Pleasure? ♪

- ♪ Shall I believe ♪
- ♪ Ah ♪

- ♪ The magic of your sigh? ♪
- ♪ Ah ♪

♪ Will you still love me ♪

♪ Tomorrow? ♪

[Natasha sobs]

- ♪ Ton... ♪
- [karaoke track continues]

Wait, what?

[man] ♪ Sha, la, la, la ♪

- [Mavis] O... kay.
- Come on.

♪ Sha, la, la, la, la ♪

Natasha.

What's goin' on? You leave
without saying anything.

You embarrass me in
front of Hannah Sommar.

I had to send her a bouquet
I can't even afford,

and I hope that I
don't look stalkerish.

And then you come to Brooklyn,

and you're keepin' the
queens and the small audience

as, like, what, an emotional hostage
for this sad-a*s talent show?

I came to Brooklyn

because I didn't want people that
I care about to see me like this.

I'm not long for
this world, Mavis.

[Natasha] Oh!

What?

It came for me, like it comes
for all of us at one point.

- And...
- Oh.

...it's in the late stages,
and there's no cure.

Oh my God. I am so sorry. I
had no idea you were sick.

Mavis, it's menopause.

It's menopause?

Okay, why did you
use the M word?

Bruce, it's violent.

Also, a couple of the
other icons at the luncheon

were a little bit older
than she expected, so...

My body is betraying me.

All the moisture is evaporating,

but I still wake up in
the middle of the night,

sweating through my sheets.

Like, I don't even know
this person, Mavis.

All I know is that
it's her time...

is up for being
sexy and relevant.

Natasha, you got a Icon award.

That literally means you will
be sexy and relevant forever.

Icon? More like "Icannot"!

They were trying to
put us out to pasture.

It's like the late, great
Samantha Jones once said.

No one wants to f*ck
Grandma's p*ssy.

Wow!

Natasha, I've put so much unrealistic
pressure on myself about aging.

I mean, I just turned 39, right?

Mm. Mm-mm, girl. That's
not cute. Don't do that.

Excuse me? You came to my birthday party.
See, that's what I'm talking about.

Why are we making getting
old seem like a bad thing?

It's not. It's a
beautiful thing.

We know more. We're layered.

I mean, there was even a stripper
at my birthday party. You seen him.

He was young, and he was trying to get
on this high yellow booty for a ride

like it was an Ikea shelf.

Reaching for the
top-shelf liquor.

Top shelf is my booty.

We just need to get you to remember
that you're sexy. It's in there.

- And I know that's right.
- [Mavis] Okay.

Am I talking too loud,
or are you just nosy?

Both, b*tch.

Listen, you just gave me an
idea for my next pop-up event.

I think you should come.
It'll be really good for you.

Pop into my pop-up.
We'll pop off.

Well... I am not coming to anything
without getting an appearance fee.

Are you coming?

[Bruce sighs]

That's a yes, right?

Do you know how many times I've heard
the phrase "Grandma's p*ssy" this week?

- I know how many times I heard it today.
- Grandma's p*ssy, grandma's p*ssy.

Grandma's p*ssy grandma's
p*ssy, grandma's p*ssy,

grandma's p*ssy,
grandma's p*ssy.

A lot more than that, actually.

[determined music playing]

[knocking continues]

Explain this, b*tch.

That's an interesting greeting.

Daphne, you got me out here
lookin' like a damn fool.

I'm tellin' anyone who will
listen how much I like you,

just to see you posting
pictures of you and your ex

on your g*dd*mn Instagram.

My ex-wife and I have a nonprofit
together that we started seven years ago.

Okay, so?

So, unlike the usual bisexual
scorched-earth campaign,

when lesbians break up, we move
out, and then we move next door.

Sometimes literally,
sometimes figuratively.

My ex and I have a
nonprofit-business baby together,

and I plan on having her
in my life for a long time.

I'm sorry if that picture
caught you off guard,

but I'm even more sorry

that I didn't create an environment
where you felt safe enough,

where you can come to me with
your softness and vulnerability

instead of feeling the
need to attack and avoid.

[gentle music playing]

["UMI Says" by Mos Def playing]

♪ I don't wanna write this
down I wanna tell you... ♪

You better than
bein' on the cusp.

♪ I don't wanna
take no time... ♪

That's right. Who are you?

You do art.

That's why you a artist.
Let's get that sh*t.

♪ For you or me ♪

♪ Life is not promised ♪

♪ Tomorrow may never show up ♪

♪ For you and me This
life is not promised ♪

♪ I ain't no perfect man... ♪

The f*ck? ♪ I'm tryna do
the best that I can... ♪

The f*ck is that?

♪ I ain't no perfect man ♪

♪ I'm tryna do the
best that I can ♪

♪ With what it is I have ♪

♪ Put my heart and soul
into this song Yes, yes ♪

[energetic music playing]

[Mavis] Ooh, yes!

Oh, Paulina, this is it, honey.

There you go. Ooh!

Serving body and grace
in leather and lace.

Let me know if you need
help with the little corset.

You should have
enough slack in there.

Oh, what are you old b*tches
doing here, Auntie Con?

What is this, a
Talbots sample sale?

- Oh!
- [both cackle]

Welcome to your "aging
like a fine wine" party

slash my second pop-up.

Ooh, did someone say
it gets greater later?

[Mavis] Yes, we did!

- Oh, thank you so much, baby.
- Of course.

I love this pop-up, and I
love the collabo we're doing.

- Ayo.
- Oh, and look at Natasha.

Oh!

I have not seen you since Gayle
King's Sadie Hawkins party.

Oh! [chuckles politely]
Bevy. Mwah, mwah.

Well, you look the f*ck good.

Mm, that's right, and it's such a
privilege to be here with you ladies,

celebratin' this fabulous moment

and to know that sexiness
has no expiration date.

And honestly, you should be tellin'
the world how you feel about your age.

Don't be doin' it
the other way around.

I've known you for
what, a year, two years?

I haven't done my
taxes, but the point is

whatever transitional phase
you are going through,

you need to know that, no matter
what, you are a sexy-a*s b*tch.

Yes, forever and always,
always and forever, darling.

Okay. Nala!

[Nala] Mm-hmm!

Natasha Karina,
you are the icon.

That's right. I pulled
this rack just for you.

["Like Sugar" by
Chaka Khan playing]

[Natasha] Mm!

- ♪ It's like sugar... ♪
- [cheering]

♪ So sweet... ♪

[all cheering] That's it, that's the
one. That's the one, b*tch. Yes, Natasha!

- [cheering continues]
- ♪ When I feel the funk, I give in ♪

♪ Get up on a-yo' feet ♪

♪ Whoa, what a
state that I'm in ♪

♪ Everybody here is dancin' ♪

♪ All I wanna do Is get your
body next to mine, yeah ♪

♪ Baby won't you
step it to me? ♪

♪ Come on out and
make your move ♪

♪ Let me teach you somethin'
'Bout this funky, funky groove ♪

♪ It's like sugar, so sweet... ♪

[Mavis] Why are you here?

Did Hannah send you to thank me
for the flowers that I sent her?

Yeah, and after she got
the flowers that you sent,

she did ask me to look you up so that
security would put you on the list

to not let you in to any
of our future events.

That's not nice.

But then, we had a talk, and
I told her about this event,

and she was impressed.

Hannah thinks this space would be
perfect for a feature in Harper's.

Is it okay if our
photographer takes some shots?

Ooh! You guys, we're gonna
be in Harper's Bazaar!

- [phone ringing]
- ♪ Good enough... ♪

[song fades out]

[Mavis] Officer Longstroke?
This is Mavis from CC Bloom.

Yes, Freckles.

Yeah, it was really good.

Yeah, it was a time. Um...

So you were at my birthday
party, so you know how old I am,

but, uh, I don't
know how old you are.

Oh.

Okay, I'd love that for us.

Yeah.

It did feel like you were
flirting with me because, um...

this number did call
your phone, so...

Yeah, I can't wait too.
That sounds good to me.

[hip-hop beat playing]

♪ Betta know about me, babe ♪

♪ Mm ♪

♪ Betta know about me, babe ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I'm way too lit,
I'm way to thick ♪

♪ Talk a lotta trash,
but I could bag it ♪

♪ Betta know about me ♪

♪ Mm-mm, yeah ♪

♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Mm-mm, yeah ♪

♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Mm-mm, yeah ♪

♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Betta know about me, babe ♪