01x02 - Less Than Decent Exposure

[bunniefuu]

On this episode of "So
Dumb It's Criminal,"

a bunch of law-Breaking fools

act like they're trying
out for the drunk Olympics.

Thieving-a*s porch pirates

getting more than
they bargained for.

And we present the first-annual
American Witness Award.

I was supposed to feel
sorry for that [bleep]

I don't.

♪♪

What up, though? It's your
boy, Big Snoop D-O-Double G,

and I'd like to welcome y'all
to "So Dumb It's Criminal."

Tonight, I'll be showing
you some dumb people

doing some things that landed
them in trouble with 12.

It's the only show

where the camera doesn't
just add 10 pounds.

It adds five years to
your jail sentence.

So, I want y'all to say hello
to my partners in crimes.

Over to my left is the one and
only Ron Funches in the house.

And to his left,
Chicago's finest.

- D.J Deon Cole in the house.
- [ Laughs ]

And give it up for the woman

who brings the fluidity
to all stupidity,

our clip keeper,
the lovely Tacarra.

Hey, guys.

- Hello, sunshine.
- Hey.

Clipstress, what are
we starting with today?

Alright, so, from
doorbell cameras

to the scourge of
package thieves...

Which I've had some myself.

They're everywhere.

Do you have a Ring system
at your front door?

I do have a Ring system
at my front door.

- Do it work?
- It does.

And I've seen some
stuff that's insane.

And I think it was
from my own kid.

Oh, so he don't know
you got the Ring,

and he's just acting a fool and
don't know he's being recorded?

There are certain times
with his little girlfriends,

he forgets the Ring is there.

- Okay, hello.
- Nephew, keep it up.

I appreciate that. [
Laughter and applause ]

I like the way she said that.

- Y'all got Rings at your house?
- Yeah, I got the Ring.

That's why I get my
Postmates delivered next door

so my wife don't
find it. [Laughter]

- I used to have it.
- I got rid of that m*therf*cker.

That Wi-Fi be all choppy.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Everybody that comes
be froze at my door.

[ Laughter ]

I be like, "Everybody
keeps freezing at my crib."

[ Laughter ]

Okay. I never thought
I'd see the day

when people would have cameras

taping everyone on
their front porch,

and neither did these people.

This is "Local Crime Ring."

So, our first porch
perpetrator mistook a doorbell

for a Tootsie Roll pop.

This... looks half-crazy
to begin with.

- Aah.
- Oh, okay.

- Nasty a*s.
- This is so nasty!

He got good form, though.

- Nasty.
- You know what I think?

This is a porno
director's house,

and he's trying to get a role.

[ Laughter ] That's
all this could be.

Just the fact that he
looked in the camera,

'cause he wants them to know
that this is what he be doing.

That's nasty.

What you can't see is he's got
his finger in the mail slot.

[ Laughter ]

Oh, my goodness.

Nasty.

But in his defense, doorbells
do kind of look like n*pples.

- Oh, I wouldn't say that.
- [ Laughter ]

Alright, so, now that
we've warmed you up

with a little bit of foreplay,

this next clip is brought
to you by the letter "P."

♪♪

- Oh!
- Cuz!

- No, no, no.
- That was like VR.

- What the hell?
- Is that the sprinkler?

This m*therf*cker's a real dog.
He just marked his territory.

Let's see this one more time.

[ Laughter ]

All he forgot to do
is lift his hind leg.

You got to lift your
hind leg on that one.

I ain't never pissed that quick.

Me neither.

But this... where'd he go?

- It was like, "Done.
- Get out of there."

Bring that back real quick.

I need to see the speed
that he's peeing with.

There you go. Watch this. Pssh!

[ Laughter ]

No, no, no. He did this before.

- Absolutely.
- Yeah, he ain't new to this.

He did this before.

He do this every morning
when he gets off work.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Every morning.

I could tell by how
long his shorts was,

this wasn't gonna end well.

[ Laughter ]

- In shorts like that.
- They almost pants, dawg!

Just wear pants! [ Laughter ]

Alright, moving on.

The people who live here

get tired of this lady
stealing their packages,

so they decided to set a trap
for this habitual porch pirate.

- I like traps.
- Mm-hmm.

- She knows to cover her face.
- She's been there.

- She knows.
- Mm-hmm.

- Another night.
- Another night.

[ Cans clanging ]

[ Laughter ]

Hey, but she's still
running off with the sh*t.

Cans and all.

I was about to say,
joke's on them.

They gave her like
$2 extra in cans.

[ Laughter ]

So, question... Has a
package ever been stolen

from the front of your house?

Now, me, I've been on
the other end of it

as far as, like, I've
stolen some packages.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

'Cause a package come to
me without my name on it,

I open it up, I like it, I'm
not sending that sh*t back.

[ Laughter ]

That sh*t's mine.

So, they're not the only ones
clowning on a package thief.

These next people got
even more creative.

[ Insects chirping ]

[ Screams ]

[ Laughter ]

That... security system
was a m*therf*cking horse.

- Horse head.
- You heard the scream, though?

- Can we bring that back?
- Let me play that for you guys.

- [ Screams ]
- [ Laughter ]

Y'all think he went
back and took it

once he realized it
was just a horse head?

- Hell no.
- He's halfway down the block.

He probably ran right
to church. [ Laughter ]

He just sat in the front,

"Father God, you know,

I haven't been my best lately,

but, you know, Father,
you understand me."

I was sent one of your angels

in the form of a
floating horse's head.

Oh, my goodness.

What we got next, Tacarra?

We've got one last Ring video.

And here's a guy who was
definitely not the inspiration

for Michael Jackson's
"Smooth Criminal."

Uh-oh. I could just see
the leaning happening now.

[ Knock on door ]

I don't know why,
but I believe him.

[ Laughs ]

He don't got on no
UPS gear, no hat.

Oh, so he was coming
to steal their sh*t.

- Yeah.
- He was coming to steal it.

With a long
conversation like that?

Yeah.

He ain't got not one patch
on his shirt or nothing.

I'm an auditor from
UPS, swear to God.

- "Swear to God."
- He's a terrible liar.

You don't even believe
your own stuff.

Get your a*s out of
here. [ Laughter ]

He walked back to the car,
like, "Why would I say that?"

[ Laughter ]

"Get it together, Michael!"

[ Laughter ]

There are a lot of reasons

people get into
trouble with the law.

For some people, it's financial.

For other, it's because they
were blazed out, blasted,

or otherwise messed up
out of their damn mind.

Let's go on ahead and see
this next set of criminals

in "High Crimes."

I like the title, "High Crimes."

So, let's set the bar high

with our first
impaired individual

who needs to work
on his vertical.

- Oh, he's drunk.
- He's out of his mind.

- Ow!
- Oh!

Oh, that sh*t hurts.

- Keep going, keep going.
- No, he's hurt. He's hurt.

Oh, oh!

So, he's in school
for track and field.

Wait. The police
are chasing him.

Oh, the police chased him.

Look at this fat police officer

trying to chase
him. [ Laughter ]

- How out of shape are they?
- What?

I'm tripping off these fat,
out-of-shape police officers

that can't even catch
a drunk, disabled man.

[ Laughs ]

Look at this chick.

She just gave up
after two steps.

Yeah, yeah.

The funny thing
is that I thought

this was some kind of,
like, drunk Olympics,

because I had no idea that he
was being chased by police.

- Not at first.
- Me neither.

They just let him
do his event, right?

- Yeah.
- And the hurdle.

Oh!

♪♪

And now the high jump.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh.

That's the nutcracker
right there.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

When you're that drunk,
you don't feel them nuts.

[ Laughter ]

You sound like you're
speaking from experience.

I'm telling you, I was
drunk like that before.

I used to be drunk like that.

You don't feel your nuts.

[ Laughter ]

Alright. So, guys,
the best reason

to wear seat belts is
for your own safety

and so you don't get
pulled over by the cops

holding something
you shouldn't be,

like this criminal right here.

[ Laughter ]

[ Engine starts ]

There you go. Keep it
gangster. There you go.

Sparking a pursuit
topping 70 miles per hour.

[ Siren wailing ]

Arrested, off to jail,
and her charges upgraded.

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughter ]

Police searching Owing's
car and finding a pipe,

and inside of it meth.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah.

I thought they were about to
say, "And inside of it, poop."

[ Laughter ]

I mean, how could you
not be on her side?

Geez. I mean, it's her birthday.

I actually want to bail her out.

Absolutely.

- Alright.
- Next up, we have this guy

who clearly doesn't
have any friends,

because if he did, they
should be able to tell him

that getting more beer just
wasn't the thing to do.

♪♪

Look at this
m*therf*cker right here.

- Oh, okay.
- Look at this... [ Laughs ]

- Uh-huh.
- Oh, he's on lean.

- "f*ck that, f*ck them chips.
- I need a beer."

[ Laughter ]

"Where is the beer section?"

- Look at that back foot.
- Look at that pose.

Look at that back foot.

- Oh!
- Hey!

- Hey!
- Uh-oh. He's got...

They party's got to be lit

if they sent this
m*therf*cker to get the beer.

[ Laughter ]

You're the only one
sober enough to go.

- Alright.
- [ Laughter ]

I'm loving how he's trying
to reach for the handles

like, "Where's that
m*therf*cking handle at?"

[ Laughter ]

- So close.
- [ Laughter ]

But he still didn't
let go of that beer.

"Hey, get this... up, man."

"Yeah, I got it, bro.

Yeah, just don't
touch my beer, bro."

"Okay. I'm okay.

Look, I'll stand
up and show you."

- [ Laughter ]
- Whoo!

Alright, so, we
will be right back

after we watch this dude
make his graceful exit.

- Oh, getting out of there.
- Oh, damn.

- He ain't got no beer.
- He ain't got no beer.

- Boom.
- It's going down.

Hey!

- Yeah.
- Hey!

[ Laughter ]

Hey!

♪ Baby, baby ♪

We're back. It's always good

to have an eyewitness
on local news

who can break down
what they saw,

even though you can barely
understand what they're saying.

We're gonna highlight them
now and honor them with this.

Live from Chatsworth,
California,

adjacent to Fahim's Same Day
Check Cashing and Falafel,

it's the first-annual
American Witness Awards,

hosted by the Godfather
himself, Mr. Snoop Dogg.

Oh, my God, you said Fahim's
Same Day Check Cashing.

I done cashed many checks
in that m*therf*cker.

[ Laughter ]

Shout-out to my...
Fahim "The Dream."

[ Laughter ]

Our first category is...

And the winner
is... [ Dr um roll ]

The guy was coming down,

and I guess the police was
trying to do a stop for it.

The man said, "No, not today,"

and they began to race behind
each other like cats and dogs.

The police officer
got behind the man

and started going so fast,
his car spins out of control.

Girl, he hit the pole,
and this is the result.

Lord be with this young
man. He needs a blessing.

[ Laughter ]

So, where were you
when this happened?

Well, ma'am, I
was actually going

to buy me a piece of
burger from Burger King.

And I just stopped
right in the middle,

because my hunger
just went away.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

When did they start
selling pieces of burgers?

- Right.
- [ Laughter ]

I've had a piece
of burger before.

It's not that bad.

- A piece of a burger?
- A piece.

This is when you're
trying to diet,

you're trying to get
your diet together.

- Piece of a burger?
- So you go in there and be like,

"Yeah, can I have a
corner of a cheeseburger?"

- Yeah.
- I thought he said pizza burger.

I was like, "That sh*t sounds
good as a m*therf*cker, though."

It didn't sound good
coming from him, though.

It did not sound
good coming from him.

- Oh, no, no, no.
- [ Laughter ]

Well, you know, I just
like seeing this in Philly,

you know, with that Eagles' hat.

I'm glad to see Terrell
Owens doing well.

I was actually going

to buy me a piece of
burger from Burger King.

[ Laughter ]

Moving on, up next is a lady

that remembers everything
during a robbery.

She's the winner of the
category of "Best Animation."

I was putting one more tab
of coffee in my coffee cup,

and out of corner of my
eyes I saw two guys come in,

one with a black hoodie and
one with a white hoodie.

And the guy with the
black hoodie said,

"We want your money!
Everybody up front and down!"

And I'm like, "Oh! Why
did I need coffee now?"

[ Laughter ] And
then I'm on my knees.

I'm backing up,
backing up, backing up,

backing up, backing
up, backing up,

'cause my daddy taught me good.

And I'm backing the
hell out of there.

Then I hear... boom, boom, boom!

And I'm like, "Oh, my God!"

So I back farther
and farther away.

And I was thinking, "Maybe I
should faint," but I don't.

And so then I'm thinking,
"Count to 2,000 again."

So I did, and then I go,
"Mi amigos, mi amigos."

Nobody said nothing.

[ Laughter ]

I bet y'all she tells the same
story to her cats every night.

- Every night, every night.
- [ Laughter ]

You know what I
got a problem with?

Why did she tell what the
m*therf*cking black hoodie did

and not the white hoodie?

- Right, right.
- [ Laughter ]

- That was nutty r*cist. Yeah.
- r*cist m*therf*cking...

It was the, "And I backed it up,

and I backed it up,
and I'm backing up,"

like my daddy told me so.

Black Twitter put
a beat to this.

- Yeah, for real.
- ♪ Back it up, back it up ♪

♪ Back it up, back
it up, back it up ♪

♪ Back it up, back it up ♪

♪ Back it up, because my
daddy taught me good ♪

♪ Back it up, back it up,
my daddy taught me good ♪

♪ My daddy taught me good ♪

"Back it up, back
it up, back it up."

"And I back it up."

Suede the Remix
God, get on this!

"Back it up, back it up,
back it up, back it up."

"My daddy taught me."

[ Laughter ]

- You know how they do.
- This is a new twerk song.

Absolutely.

It'll be a whole new thing.

It wouldn't be the
American Witness Awards

without someone
ratting out a relative.

Here's the winner of.

"The Tekashi69 Memorial
Snitch Award"...

[ Laughter ]

Talking about a
string of house fires.

It's a suspicious fire, and
there's a person of interest

that they're
currently looking for.

It was 'cause of my cousin,

and I don't want to
mention no names.

- Your cousin?
- Yes.

And you say you think
your cousin started this?

Do you know how or why?

He's mad because he
can't get with me.

I'm married to my husband.

- What?
- [ Laughter ]

She's married to her husband.

Who else you gonna
be married to, man?

"My cousin burned my house
'cause he can't get with me,

'cause I'm married
to my husband."

- That's my favorite part.
- She said because she's married.

Not because he's her cousin.

- Uh-huh.
- [ Laughter ]

But because she's
off the market now.

[ Laughter ]

- This is disgusting.
- [ Laughter ]

Some criminals think that
old people are easy targets,

but this next lady
says, "f*ck that,"

'cause she is winner of
"The Auntie Maxine Waters.

Ain't Got No Time
For This sh*t Award."

- [ Dr um roll ]
- Mm-hmm.

Did you really snatch an


She wanted to hurt me,

and the [bleep]
don't even know me.

I hope that they
beat her [bleep]

in the women's prison,
beat her [bleep] every day

for as long as she's in there.

Some people might
say that's harsh.

Well, so what?

What she did to
me was even worse.

I'm supposed to feel
sorry for that [bleep]?

I don't. [ Laughter ]

- Grandma wasn't with that sh*t.
- "I hope they beat her a*s

every day she's in
the penitentiary."

I'm supposed to feel
sorry for that [bleep]?

I don't.

I mean, what was she
trying to steal from her?

- Old people be having money.
- Oh, that's true.

Old people be having money,

just old money from
the '60s and sh*t.

[ Laughter ]

Just old-a*s bills that
don't even exist no more.

Bags of them.

- Mad $2 bills.
- Bunch of $2 bills.

- Bag of $2 bills.
- $2 bills.

- [ Laughter ]
- $2 bills.

Got $2,000 in $2
bills in this purse?

I just think you
can't be that tough

when somebody could
push you away.

[ Laughter ]

"Get out of here, mama."

[ Laughter ]

"Get your a*s out
of here, mama."

- "You need to cool down."
- [ Laughs ]

"Let me put some WD-40
in your wheelchair,"

"help this m*therf*cker
drive all the way."

- "Get your a*s out of there."
- [ Laughter ]

- Come back when you chill out.
- [ Laughs ]

♪ Baby, baby ♪

♪ Baby, baby ♪

Welcome back.

It's the first-annual
American Witness Awards,

hosted by the godfather
himself, Mr. Snoop Dogg.

Alright, Snoop. Next up.

Finally, the most important
award of the night.

In the category of
Courage Under Fire Award.

For Most Unbothered
During A Gunfight,

based on the novel
"Push" by Sapphire,

some dude named
Devon. [ Dr um roll ]

This is unbelievable.

I just knocked on the door
of the resident's home

and just spoke to the
victim who was shot.

He's actually walking up
right now as we speak.

Sir, can you please
tell us what happened?

You know, I'm in
the room, chilling,

kicking like I
usually do, drinking,

and somebody shot right
through my back window,

hit me in the chest.

I wasn't even tripping over his
little petty wound, you know?

Ain't tripping though.

Do you know why he
would have done this?

I don't know what's
going on, man.

I just know... probably
just wanted me dead,

like, or some other stuff.

I don't know.

- Alright, well, I'm here.
- And what's your name?

Devon.

- Alright.
- Well, I just talked to Devon,

and I can't believe this
happened this morning.

Here right now in Quincy,
we're reporting live.

Back to you guys in the studio.

- Did he call it a petty shot?
- Yeah.

One more g*nsh*t, he
gets a free car wash.

[ Laughter ]

He trying to fill out his car.

[ Laughter ]

And here, via satellite to
accept the award, Devon.

Yo, yo. What's up?

- Nephew?
- Yeah.

What strength kept you so
chill in this tense situation?

See, that's the crazy thing,

'cause I wasn't even smoking
weed at the time, you know?

I was just drinking a lot,

and I wanted to get
back to my drink.

[ Laughter ]

I want to know what
kind of drink was it

that had you so
m*therf*cking chill?

Because I need to get
some cases of this sh*t?

I was drinking the
bumpy face, man.

Oh, that Seagram's?

Yeah, I was drinking
the bumpy face.

Oh, wow.

- [ Laughs ]
- He's drinking it right now!

Hey, man, that's a part of
the Snoop Dogg's career, man.

That's some of my early
influences, you dig?

- Yeah, man.
- I don't use no chaser, though.

- Are you straight?
- I know you like the gin and juice.

I don't want the juice.

- That's alright.
- I ain't mad at you, straight up.

How did the news team catch
up to you after it went down?

Alright, so, after I got
out the hospital and stuff,

I m*therf*cking...
I went to the crib.

When I got there, they
was already there.

So I'm like, "Cool.

I'm gonna f*cking
go in the crib."

I take my clothes
off and everything.

Like, I'm in the boxers when
I opened up the door, folks.

I'm in my boxers.
They're like, "sh*t.

Uh, can we do a real
quick interview with you?"

I'm like, "Have to put
my cloths back on."

Keep it mad, I could
barely move my arm.

Like, "Yeah, let me put
my clothes back on."

So I come out there

and have to do, like, three,
four, five takes of it,

because I kept cussing.

And then she's like, "Nah,
you can't cuss on the news."

I'm like, "Cool."

I still slipped me one
up in there, though.

- [ Laughter ]
- Nephew.

- Look.
- Yeah.

When you get shot, you can cuss.

When you get shot, you can cuss.

- That comes with the rules.
- That's rule number one.

That's the rule.

Devon, how many times
you been shot before?

sh*t, I been...
Well, besides that,

I been shot one time
before in my stomach.

So this was nothing to you?

Yeah, that was
nothing to me, man.

Once the doctor told me
it bounced off my ribcage

and stayed in the side,

I was like, "Oh, let
me go to the crib, man.

I got drinks and sh*t there."

[ Laughter ]

They ain't got no
drinks at the hospital.

- People were there.
- I was full of people in my crib.

- I was having a blast.
- [ Laughs ]

Yeah.

How did you find out that
your clip went viral,

like the whole world
was checking it?

How did you find that out?

sh*t. My brother woke
me up the next morning,

like, "You went
viral on Facebook."

At that point, I didn't
really give a f*ck.

I'm look, "Man, I don't
care about that sh*t, man."

My m*therf*cking arm's stuck.

See? I can't move my
sh*t." [ Laughter ]

My son climbing on me,

and I'm telling him, "Get
off of me," and sh*t.

It was crazy. It was
crazy. [ Laughter ]

Hey, Devon, you seem like a
great person to have around,

you know, when things get crazy.

I think you have a future
in the Secret Service.

- You know what I'm talking about?
- Ooh, man.

I don't think I could be in the
Secret Service doing parole.

[ Laughter ]

But sh*t.

Yeah, but sh*t. I
could m*therf*cking...

I could do some things, man.

I ain't trying to be
in no Secret Service.

- Alright, nephew.
- You stay safe, man.

And God bless you
and your family, man.

Stay strong, man.

Stay out of the way
of them b*ll*ts.

Alright. Thank you, brother.

Peace. We'll be right back.

- [ Laughter ]
- ♪ Baby, baby ♪

♪ Baby, baby ♪

- Alright, guys.
- So, welcome back.

Snoop, what do you wear when
you want to roll undercover?

Undercover, I like to
wear, like, black hoodies.

I like to wear,
like, the COVID mask.

[ Laughter ]

I like to dress
up like an old man

or dress up like a
janitor. [ Laughter ]

You know what I'm saying?
My undercover game is deep.

You know what I'm saying? I
like to be somebody regular.

Do you ever just go the rounds?

- I can't go to regular stores.
- Damn.

I just want to see
your a*s in Target.

- Let's go one day.
- [ Laughter ]

- Let's go one day...
- on the real.

- Let's go one day.
- Like, on some real sh*t.

Like... you walk in this
door, I'll walk in that door,

and then we just meet
in the produce section.

[ Laughter ]

Y'all need to record
this if they do that.

- I want to be there.
- We just meet up over there.

Let's do it.

"How are these grapes
over here, man?"

"These grapes ain't
worth a sh*t...

You need to get these
grapes." [ Laughter ]

You know what I'm saying?

Yo, that's dope.

Check out these guys who
love being in disguise.

And they love taking it
to a whole nother level.

These two are a few grapes
short of a fruit cup.

Caught on camera here,
a very unusual disguise

for robbery suspects here
in a small Virginia town.

Photos show watermelons
on their heads,

with eye holes even cut out.

Officers managed to arrest
one of the suspects.

Police say they
are still looking

for the second watermelon head.

Look at these goofy
m*therf*ckers.

I bet you if you lift
that watermelon up

that they're not
African-American.

- No, you can tell.
- [ Laughter ]

Police are so r*cist,
they still arrested

two Black dudes, even with that.

They had a package of masks
right there on the table,

and they was like, "Nah."

"Billy Bob, what we need to do

is cut those g*dd*mn
watermelons up...

Cut that watermelon up, put it
on top of your f*cking head,

and cut some holes in them eyes,
we will f*cking rob this store."

- "We'll make history."
- [ Laughter ]

That's the sh*t that Gallagher
sees in his nightmares.

[ Laughter ]

- Alright.
- Next up, we found a guy

who gives Ms. Doubtfire
a run for her money.

Police in California are
searching for a bank robber

that has been dubbed "the
Mrs. Doubtfire bandit."

The man robbed a branch of
Santa Cruz bank on Friday.

I don't think he looks bad.

Oh, he really looks like a fat
white woman I know in real life.

That's why I'm
tripping off this sh*t.

Like, he's believable
as a m*therf*cker.

I can just see the bank
giving him everything.

Let's move on from this,
'cause we'll get cancel led

talking about some
sh*t like this.

I want to move on 'cause
the worst part for me

is I dated that chick
for three months.

[ Laughter ] She
never paid for dinner.

You had bank-robbery
money, b*tch?

Alright, wait until
you guys see this one.

This bank robber struck four
times in just three hours,

and cops tracked down
a suspect... this guy.

So how did a white guy
allegedly transform himself

into a Black man?

This is how... an incredibly
realistic Hollywood mask.

It covers the whole head.

The ears and lips are
incredibly lifelike.

I can even see through the mask.

But when you take it off...

No one would ever suspect

that a white guy was
the robber photographed

pulling off those
four bank heists.

He summed it up nicely.

Never seen a real
Black guy before.

[ Laughter ]

That sh*t kind of looked
real. He did a great job.

I want to give him credit
for doing the sh*t he did.

- [ Laughter ]
- But wait. What?

'Cause what I'm gonna do is

I'm gonna go find a
white m*therf*cking mask

and give some to my... and
let them go on a mission

and pull off some m*therf*cking
heists, you b*tch you.

You know what I was thinking?

What's some other Black
things he could have done

with that mask,

like, instead of
going to rob a bank?

Like, what... could he have
gotten in some clubs or, like.

[ Laughter ] A video set.

- A video set.
- Yeah, a video set.

- [ Laughter ]
- Run security.

- Right.
- [ Laughter ]

could have been popping, huh?

Y'all being real
r*cist right now.

He limited himself.

He could have did so much more.

He could have done so much more.

He should have lived
his Black life!

[ Laughter ]

That's our show, boys and girls.

I'd like to thank our
special guests, Ron Funches,

Deon Cole,

and our clip keeper, the
lovely Tacarra Williams.

- Hey.
- We will see you next time.

And remember, don't be
dumb, 'cause if your a*s is,

you're probably gonna
end up on this show,

dumb-a*s criminals. [ Laughter ]

Peace.