01x05 - Ulysses

[bunniefuu]

I had a dream about you last night.

Oh, yeah?

That doesn't seem to worry you.

Not uncommon.

- What?

- Happens all the time.

- Not to me.

- No?

No, I can confidently say I have,

I've never dreamt about you before.

Never, ever?

No!

- Missing out.

- Why, do you dream about me?

Yeah, all the time.

So in this dream, erm,

I was I was in the theatre

- Of course you were, love.

- I was on the stage

- Of course you were!

- alone,

and the lights were shining on my face,

so I I couldn't see the auditorium,

I couldn't couldn't see

if there was anyone out there,

and suddenly this idea occurred to me.

Speak,

and the room will answer.

So I spoke, but the voice

that came out was different.

- Whose voice was it?

- What? No, it was still my voice.

It was It was just

that it had changed.

It was like I'd inhaled helium.

And did the room answer?

They brought the house lights up,

and the theatre was empty,

except for you.

You were watching, alone.

And what did I say?

Happy the man whose wish and care

a few paternal acres bound,

content to breathe his native air

in his own ground.

Did I write that?

No, it, no, it was in my dream.

So what does it mean, then?

That I'm pining for a bigger audience.

And what about the poem?

That I should be happy at home.

Are you not?

WHISPERS: I'm trying.

I feel fantastic.

That's great.

Yeah, I mean, the situation is horrific.

- Sure.

- Globally.

Yeah, no, I understand.

But the time, the time is a gift.

Such a such a great

way of looking at it.

- Have you read Ulysses?

- James Joyce?

- Yeah.

- No.

- Twice.

- You've read Ulysses twice?

Yep. About to go for a third.

That's amazing.

Oh, er, er, Lucy, this is,

er, this is Adrian Lester.

- Oh, hi.

- Hi. Hiya.

Er, Adrian, this is my sister, Lucy.

Lovely to meet you.

- Yeah, you too.

- We were just discussing Ulysses.

- Have you read it, Lucy?

- Oh, God, yeah, twice.

- Oh, me too!

- Oh, it's sublime.

Yeah, I'm about to go for a third.

- Oof, magical!

- Hm.

How are you coping through this?

Just keeping an eye on this one, really.

Fantastic.

- Yeah, we're managing all right.

- Yeah. Oh, here's Michael.

- I'll leave you to it.

- OK. Lovely to meet you.

Yeah, you too.

- She's lovely.

- Oh, she is.

- Er, happy for me to bring in Michael?

- Yeah, yeah, course.

Oh, er, so they don't know you're here.

Erm, I mean, they'll know

who you are, obviously,

but I think I will just introduce

you as a new cast member,

and then you can

talk me up a bit?

Er, is there actually a part for me?

Sure.

Because the next roles seem to be, erm,

the mother and stepdaughter.

Er, here's Michael.

VIDEO CALL NOTIFICATION

- Michael?

- Can't find my f*cking script!

Has it been going well?

Really well. Yeah, seamless.

Where the f*ck is it?

It's an unusual set

of circumstances, obviously.

f*ck! I just

I can't find it anywhere.

You'll just have to feed me the

lines and I'll try and keep up.

- Hi, Michael.

- Michael, do you know Adrian?

Adrian?

Adrian. Hi.

Adrian!

Oh, my God, of course! I'm so sorry.

No, not a problem.

I just thought I thought

he could join the cast.

Lovely!

- How are you?

- Good. Great.

Fine.

- You?

- Oh, I'm fantastic.

- Oh, well, that's great.

- Adrian's been reading Ulysses.

- Er, twice.

- Well, it's a tough book.

VIDEO CALL NOTIFICATION

- Here's David, too.

- Oh, bring him in.

Simon says it's been going well.

Oh.

Well, David's a wonderful collaborator.

My script has completely vanished.

Very focused.

I mean, if it was anything of any value,

I'd just assumed the kids had

taken it, but it's just a sh*t play.

Yeah, David, do you know Adrian Lester?

Oh, Jesus. Adrian Lester? f*cking hell.

Yeah, no, he's He's here.

He's here now, on the call,

with Simon, right now.

Oh, there he is!

- Ha, hello, David.

- Hey, Adrian! How are you doing?

Erm, I'm fantastic.

- I thought Adrian could join our cast.

- Great.

He and I've worked

together before, so

Brilliant.

I just thought we could

flesh this cast out a little bit.

Absolutely.

Er, have you, have read Ulysses, David?

- No, never.

- No? Adrian's read it twice.

Well, I imagine it's

quite hard to understand

the first time through, isn't it?

Simon, would you just email me

the script again, please?

Er, er, yeah, I'd have to use

the other computer.

That'd be great, thanks.

- I'll be right back.

- OK.

Oh, I'm really excited

to be working with you both.

Simon's great, isn't he? He's

Michael's feeling a bit

blue about the project.

Er, I mean, I'd say David

was struggling more.

- Is that right?

- Yeah, he's trying to write something.

- Yeah, nearly finished, actually.

- Yeah, but it's been very tough.

Oh, yeah, the creative process

can be very tricky.

And Georgia is better

at it than he is, so

Ah

You should speak to Simon about it,

because

- Michael's neighbour's gone missing.

- Missing?

Under suspicious circumstances.

I Well, I haven't k*lled her

or anything.

I mean, she's just not

answering the door.

But that that must be frightening.

Georgia's birthing a child.

- Whoa, you're having another one?

- With another woman.

- Yeah.

- Well, that's that's modern.

She's helping a friend.

So, how are rehearsals going?

Well, I mean, Michael's finding it

quite hard to focus.

He's started having dark,

upsetting dreams, really deep,

- weird, sort of disturbing dreams.

- Wow, really? Me too.

Really?

Yeah, yeah. Most nights.

Am I in your dreams?

No.

David keeps popping up

in the collective subconscious,

uninvited, like a sort of

Highland whack-a-mole.

You've just got to

You know, I was in the theatre in mine.

Me too!

- What, on stage?

- Yes! Did we have the same dream?

- Well, could you speak in yours?

- No, no.

I just had a sort of weird,

high-pitched sound.

Yes! Yes!

So, in mine, I was lying on the stage,

and I was I was trying

to scream, you know,

get a sound out, and I couldn't,

so I started twisting and turning

and trying to scream,

and then, and then these ropes

came out of nowhere,

and they were covered in oil, I think,

and they were wrapping around me,

wrapped around me really tight,

and I couldn't move, and the audience,

they started shouting,

"Throw him to the bears!"

- That's vivid.

- Yeah. Maybe it was honey.

Maybe it was honey. Not oil,

on the ropes, honey, for the bears.

And what did you do?

Fought them,

with my hands and my teeth, just

Yeah, sure,

but I meant more in real life.

Oh, well, I spoke to my, er,

I spoke to my life coach about it.

Great. What did he say?

Well, he told me that it was connected

to a repressed feeling of

of powerlessness.

- What did he suggest?

- He told me to just ignore it.

Yeah, just just breathe it in,

breathe it out.

- Did it work?

- Yeah, yeah, it did, actually.

It did, yeah.

So now, whenever I feel,

you know, sad, or angry, or powerless,

I just, er, just ignore it.

How?

Just

HE EXHALES SHARPLY

ignore it.

Or or sometimes

I go for a little run.

When you're down?

- Yeah, that's right.

- How far do you run?

About 20 miles a day.

Wow. That's a lot.

It just gives me time to be alone,

you know, with my thoughts.

Well, it's nice to have company.

- What are you doing?

- Shh.

I'm emailing a script to David.

You're snooping!

I'm not snooping.

Did you bring Adrian in

just to talk you up?

No. There were other things.

- What's he saying?

- I can't hear if you keep talking.

He likes you, doesn't he?

Oh, shh, shh, shh, shh

HE WHISPERS: What do you think

he's saying about me?

and I'm eating well,

as well, you know,

spending more time with my family,

reconnecting with my roots.

Yeah, I thought I could detect

a little bit of

hum of an accent in there.

Oh, what, can you

can you actually hear it?

- Yeah!

- Very, very subtle.

Yeah. It's not a conscious thing.

No, of course not, no.

Have either of you two read

The Inner Voice?

- No.

- Twice.

It's about the artifice of acting.

- Great.

- It's about the artifice of acting,

and the freedom which comes

from throwing off the mask

of an RP accent,

and embracing a true inner voice.

- That sounds f*cking brilliant.

- Mm, isn't it?

Cos Shakespeare, right,

was from Birmingham.

Was he? I mean,

a bit down the road, but

IN BRUMMIE ACCENT: We are

such stuff as dreams are made on

and our little life

is rounded with a sleep.

And that's Shakespeare.

Have either of you two

thought about, you know,

leaning into your own true voice?

I didn't think I wasn't.

- Oh, well, Mike, if I may

- Oh, you may, yeah.

you speak,

and the sound that emerges, it's

Oh, it's

it's unfiltered, you know? Raw.

Like, like

HE CLEARS HIS THROA

Watch.

IN BRUMMIE ACCENT: This above all,

to thine own self be true.

Huh? Could you could you feel that?

Have a go. Go on, have a go.

- Dave.

- Thanks.

Erm

NORMAL VOICE: To thine own self be true.

That's great,

but,

a little less RP.

- I wasn't doing RP!

- Just a little less RP, Dave.

- I'm from Paisley!

- Trust me, trust me. Go on.

Trust him.

STRONG SCOTTISH ACCENT:

To thine own self be t-rue.

Yes! Michael?

STRONG WELSH ACCENT:

To thine own self be true.

Yes, Dave.

STRONG SCOTTISH ACCENT:

To thine own self be true!

More.

STRONG WELSH ACCENT:

To thy own self be true!

- ALL: To thine own self be true!

- Ya bampot!

To thine own self be true!

Huh! Oh, right

IN SEAN CONNERY ACCENT:

To thine own shelf be true.

Is

- is he all right?

- Yeah, he's fine.

You know, with the hair and the beard,

- he just looks a bit

- What?

- Wild.

- Nah, he's fine.

OK.

And what about you?

Are you all right?

I mean, you could talk to Simon

about these things, cos he's

The thing about Michael is

he feels helpless,

and it's sobering, cos, you know,

you reach the top of the tree,

and then the world changes

all around you,

and you find you can't help any more.

You're just

you're sat at home, spelling words

backwards in your head.

- What, is he doing that?

- All the time, yeah.

You just stop feeling useful, don't you?

You know, the theatres close,

the audiences go away. The roles dry up.

You've got nothing to offer.

You're just sat looking out a window

and twiddling your thumbs, hoping

it's all going to be all right.

HE EXHALES

- I'm going to go for a run.

- Sure.

- Found the script.

- Where was it?

I threw it in the bin last night.

- The bin!

- Where's Adrian?

Gone for a run.

- Where's Adrian?

- Gone for a run.

Hi.

The Magic Tree by

- Oh, hi.

- Oh, hello.

- How did it go?

- Fine, yeah.

- She had a girl.

- Nice.

Helen.

- Very nice.

- Mm.

- You all right?

- Yeah, fine.

The, um, the house

appears to still be standing.

- I'm sensing your surprise.

- Well, I'm not trying to hide it.

- Well, that takes some of the fun away.

- Mm.

I did listen outside the kids' doors.

- Online lessons?

- That's right.

Did you try and teach them

at all yourself?

- I did. Yeah.

- Yeah. And how did that go?

I realised that I am

alarmingly ill-informed

on every subject under the sun.

Yeah, well, that is true.

Wish I didn't feel so helpless.

Is the writing not going very well?

- Actually, I've finished the screenplay.

- Ooh.

- So, yeah.

- Can I read it?

No, you can't.

- Why not?

- Because it might be sh*t.

Well, I'm sure I could help.

It's already in your inbox,

I sent it an hour ago.

Oh, exciting.

- Oh, Behind Windows.

- Do you like it?

- Bit wanky.

- Oh, come on. You can't say that.

Oh, I can.

- You don't even know what's in it yet.

- What's in it, then?

You know, lots of things.

Well, it sounds excellent.

- Oh, f*ck off back to the hospital.

- Oh, OK, maybe I will.

- But read my screenplay first.

- Yeah, sure. I will

but I'm going to phone Anna first.

OK? And also take that.

Oh, lovely. Well, I'm glad

you've got your priorities right.

OK.

- See you later.

- See you.

- Hi.

- Sorry, I'm just going to minimise you

- while I'll look something up, OK?

- OK.

- You all right?

- Yeah, just one minute.

- Hi, Michael.

- Jesus Christ!

- Um, Georgia.

- Hi.

Sorry, I didn't know

you were in there, you know.

- You all right?

- Yeah. Just a sec.

I was just calling to say that

I've just got back from the hospital.

- Oh, how did it go?

- Yeah. Really well, she, um

She had a girl. Called her Helen.

It's weird in hospitals

at the moment because, you know.

But they gave me gloves and masks

and stuff, so it was

- Should I call back later?

- No. Sorry.

An ambulance just turned up at

our neighbour's an hour or so ago.

God.

Yeah. I mean, we didn't

see what was happening,

but Michael tried to go out and ask

and the paramedics just

told him to go back inside.

- Did you see her?

- No, but

we saw a stretcher being carried in.

- OK, I'll get David.

- Yep.

Yeah, yeah. Still here. Yeah. Thank you.

Um, er, I don't know.

She's about five foot two.

Um, grey hair, glasses.

I'd say she's in her late-70s,

early-80s maybe.

No. Sorry. I don't know her surname.

Her first name is Hannah,

H-A-N-NAH.

My name? Er, Michael Sheen.

No, Michael. S-H-E-E-N.

Yeah. Well, we all love Neil Gaiman.

I know but could you

please just ask and see

if you can find out? Let us know.

I mean, someone must have ordered

the ambulance, so we just want

to know where she is

and what's happening.

Yes. Yes, I'll hold.

- Sorry.

- Do you know where they've taken her?

No, we don't know

but Michael's trying to find out.

- Oh, this is like a bad dream.

- No. It will be fine.

It will be fine.

Hello. Yes.

No, sorry, I explained.

I don't know her surname.

Her first name's Hannah.

She's

old, and on her own.

Family's in Cardiff.

No, I don't know where. Um

She runs an ill*gal neighbourhood

watch from the CCTV camera

mounted on her garage.

She likes interracial soft-core

pornographic literature.

She's an angry, shitty,

blackmailing little

Well, she makes a very bad

bara brith and she's kind.

HE EXHALES

Sorry.

Yeah. Yeah. OK.

Thank you.

Yeah, I know this isn't the best time.

I just feel like the last time

we talked about it

We were playing Battleships that time.

we did decide that, um,

I'd have my name

first on the poster,

Tennant, and then Sheen.

I think that's what we said

that we would have, um, sorry.

I know this isn't great timing,

but I've just been sent a draft

of the poster. You'll have

I've sent it to you too.

I mean, you won't have had time

to look, probably, but

um, the They want to announce.

So they need approval on the

er, thing. I

Unfortunately, on the one

they've mocked up,

your name is actually first.

So, um, sorry.

This is really bad timing,

but they need changes

by the end of play today.

So, do you mind if I just go back

some tell him just to swap

those names round? Just on the

So they're the right way round

on the poster.

Um I'm happy to do

that on both our behalves

quickly, if that's OK. Or we could

leave it as it is, just

Let's just leave it.

PHONE RINGS

We'll just leave it. We'll leave it.

Don't worry about it.