Zombie Rage (2023)

[bunniefuu]

(Suspenseful music)

(Creaking swing)

(Ominous music)

(Film stutter)

(News theme music)

Good afternoon.

Nelson big hammer with ckx news

reporting live from downtown winnipeg

where a recent rash and

increase in violent crime

doesn't seem to be much

of a deterrent to locals.

The mayor has been

criticized for some of his ideas,

which people think are pretty lackluster.

So we decided to meet with people

on the street to see what they think

needs to be done to improve the situation.

Hi, uh, just the city is

just going to a dump.

Do you feel like winnipeg

has a bad problem with crime?

I don't think winnipeg has a crime

problem, but some people might.

Okay, fair enough. So

you feel safe down here?

Yeah. I've always had a good time downtown.

I've never encountered

anybody sketchy at all.

Okay. Thanks very much for

your time. Really nice to meet you.

Awesome.

Nelson, big hammer, ckx news.

I just want to say quickly,

I absolutely love the hair.

That's fantastic.

I'm envious of anybody's hair.

I used to have hair like

that, but it's is downtown

winnipeg, and two weeks

ago, mine got stolen.

So this is what I'm left with.

Yes, have you heard recently

the mayor has been putting forth

a lot of ideas on how

to make the area safer.

No, but f (bleep) Him.

That's a fair statement.

A lot of people have been saying that.

Do you have any ideas on what we

can do to make it safer downtown?

I hope nothing right now is

pretty much perfect for me.

I mean, you can sell drugs

wherever (bleep) You want.

We have endless supply of customers.

I mean, just look anywhere you

want and just go around the corner.

You give anyone a little

winnipeg handshake.

Okay.

Well, thank you very much for your time.

And if you have a minute,

I'd like to talk to you

about a certain sales

transaction in a minute.

Thank you very much.

You gotta a smoke?

Actually, I don't anymore.

Somebody picked my pockets.

But do you have a minute

for a quick interview?

I do. Sure. Why not?

So have you heard recently the

mayor has put forth a few ideas

on how to revitalize the downtown

area, make it a safer place.

I'm just wondering what you think could

be done to fix up downtown winnipeg.

I think it'd be great if

we had a homeless purge

by purge...

Do you mean like the movie purge?

Exactly like the purge. You

have all the homeless people.

They have to register, and

if they don't have an address

and they can register to

one night they get put out,

and they all have to just

beat each other in the streets.

And the last one

standing, get a free house.

That's a unique idea.

You know, we could

televise that, sell tickets,

maybe make some money to

help fix up the downtown area.

Could use that money

to clean the streets after.

Brilliant plan. Thank you

very much for your time, sir.

I find that it's not safe because

there's not enough drugs around

like they would calm

everyone down if they

could find their supply.

But they say that there's a

crisis out there, but there's a

crisis if you can't find your supply.

You think there's not enough drugs here.

That's why people are just going crazy

because they can't calm themselves.

Just give me a give me a call.

All right. Thank you. All right. Thanks.

Do you have any ideas on how

we can make winnipeg safer?

I think that we should maybe put some

money into some public programing.

Getting some kids off

the streets would be nice.

You know, they just revitalizing things.

Fantastic idea.

And any other suggestion.

Well, I think that maybe we

could also just burn it all down.

We could just grab some

matches and some gasoline,

and we could just light everything on fire.

Oh, Nelson, big hammer, ckx... (Bleep)

Okay.

Thanks for your time.

Nelson, big hammer, ckx news.

Just wondering, sir, what brings

you downtown winnipeg today?

Well, I thought to bring my son

to see winnipeg and see

how great winnipeg really is.

Yeah.

Do you do you feel are you concerned at all

with the recent increase in

crime in the downtown area?

Yeah. Winnipeg's getting

really, really dangerous.

And I don't like drugs.

I'm trying ot for him to see

the drugs, but, you know, it's...

Kind of tough.

And what about you?

Do you like coming downtown winnipeg?

Don't tell him this, but I'm

kind of looking for some drugs.

Okay.

Thanks very much for coming out.

Oh, Nelson big hammer, ckx news.

Do you have time for a quick interview?

I guess you got a light.

Actually, the most

stolen thing in the world,

and it's the only thing that

wasn't swiped from me today.

Thanks for helping me out. Okay.

Have you heard of the mayor's

plans to revitalize downtown winnipeg

and how he thinks he

can make it a safer place?

Yeah, and it's bull (bleep).

Do you have any ideas on what

we can do to improve winnipeg?

Yeah.

Fight club.

You know, the first rule of fight club.

We (bleep) Don't talk about it.

We can be like a secret society.

We, the people, can make the money.

(Bleep) The government.

(Bleep) Any rule, no rules.

You can twist (bleep), grab them by the

(bleep) Nuts and just maybe pull (bleep).

Who the f*ck cares? f*ck.

All right, in the bushes. Arghh...

Sir, there's zombies everywhere.

What do you

think of that? Zombies. Zombies?

What I think about it?

I'll tell you what I think

about this is Justin trudeau

and his friggin vaccines

that he gave everybody.

Look what happened.

Look what happened.

And it's wrath of god.

The wrath of god because

of these lgbtq nine, seven,

six, five, whatever the hell they are...

(Zombie eating noises)

(g*nf*re)

Holy (bleep). You just saved

us from the zombie zombies.

Zombies?

(Cell phone rings) Hang on. Hold this.

What?

Don't get your panties in a knot.

I told you I'd be there if

I'm not there in 20 minutes.

Your next kilos free.

Just another typical day in winnipeg.

I'll see you in a bit.

Thanks.

Well, looks like winnipeg's

about as safe as it's ever been.

I'm headed back to the studio

(helicopter getting closer)

(Zombies gurgle)

Are you guys zombies or meth heads?

Yah!!!

(Zombies crunching)

(Old time TV station music)

(Static)

Oh, yeah dude.

This broads going down. f*ck!

Huh.

He's gonna cut her

t*tties off. Yeah, probably.

She's a goner, dude.

Look, doo do do. Yep, there it is.

Yep, yold you. He took her t*tties off.

Oh, here's our hero.

There he is.

Machete ready.

Ohhh...

Oh, nice. (Girl screaming)

Oh, yeah. Oh,

(talking on phone)

Now, this guy...

(It's a good deal, Sara.) (Screamimg)

What the f*ck was that?

(Holy sh*t) Yeah, go look.

(This park is just

filled with season two...

(Hunter herbeck to the rescue) Go check.

Let's go. f*cking. Oh, wow. Okay. Sure. Oh,

(choking) Poor chick.

Oh, still got her t*ts. (Laughs)

(Sting noise)

Now f*cking what?

Really?

Come on. Yeah. Come on.

What'd you do?

Just start showing boobs.

Oh, you're k*lling me.

Check the power.

(Coughs)

Dude. The whole system's

off. Oh, dude, we gotta, f*ck...

I don't know. I wonder if

it's all f*cking everywhere.

Yeah, let's check it out.

Oh, boy.

You getta look see?

Traffic lights are out dude.

Yeah, they are out.

Oh, great. Wow.

Okay, shall we check it

out. Yeah, let's go check.

All right, let's go check it out.

You first dude.

Yeah, bro.

Looks like the traffic lights are out, man?

Yeah, they are.

Maybe a truck hit a pole.

The power might be out completely.

f*cking creepy man.

I don't know. Somethings going down.

Nothing we could do about it.

Wait it out. Fresh my rip. I'll join you.

f*ck, I wonder when

the power's going to be dark on, dude.

f*ck dude. My phone's tripping.

- Really? Yeah.

Dude, really...

Told you, man.

How's yours? Workin?

I have no service.

f*cking told you. Creepy dude.

Creepy sh*t, man.

(Suspenseful music)

Oh, no.

Oh, hey, hey.

Whoa.

You f*cking hear that?

Yeah,

dude, let's go see man.

Really? Told you.

Oh, f*ck.

What's all the screaming about man?

Right, what are you doing dude?

(Door shaking) Beat it. Ahhh.

f*ck dude, stop.

I hurt my arm.

Dude, he's a crackhead don't let him in.

God. f*ck dude.

What's the matter with you?

I swear there's a bunch of

people out there and they're evil.

I don't know what the f*ck going on man.

I never saw anything

like it before in my...

You're f*cking on a good one dude.

What are you smokin man?

I'm not smokin' anything.

Look what the f*ck he did to my arm.

Calm down, chill.

f*ck, I can't man... I need... Wait,

wait, where do think you're going/

where do you think you're going?

I gotta take care of this f*ck' arm.

Go, go.

I'm gonna check it out, all right man.

Oh, man. Oh,

ooh. Oh (Footsteps)

Oh, f*ck!

(Panting) f*ck.

Get the f*ck out of my spot.

Oh, god dammit. Oh f*ck.

I don't want to on that.

Thanks for the in bro man.

You're lucky we let you in.

You're lucky you're in.

You're f*cking on something.

I'll go f*ck my...

I'm not man.

Something f*cking back there wanted my arm.

Calm down. Calm down, have some water.

Oh, f*ck. Thanks.

Oh, my god.

(Ominous synth sting)

What the f*ck are you?

(Sting)

You got the f*cking sh1tting me.

(Door clangs open)

f*ck this.

Hey, man, sh*t's going down guys.

I don't know man.

f*cking thought so dude.

f*ck.

Look at my f*cking arm man. What the f*ck?

Hey, dude, he ain't trippin' man.

There's f*cking sh*t going down out

there. Yeah, right. You're full of sh*t.

I'm telling you bloody and f*cking weird.

sh*t walking f*cking

bloody right there bro.

f*ck man don't go out there.

Told you. What the f*ck? f*ck that dude.

No, f*cking close that door.

Close the door. Lock it.

f*ck. Now what man?

He ain't lying man.

My arm don't feel to

dam good right now man.

I don't know what the

f*ck going on with it.

Feels f*cking funny, man.

You're bleeding all over my f*cking couch.

Do you go wash yourself off?

Yeah man, clean it up.

Yeah man, bathroom's right there.

f*ck man.

What the f*ck?

Dude. Really?

Unbelievable.

Arghh...

What are we going to f*ck' do man?

We got to get out of here or some sh*t.

Oh, oh, oh. Oh, god.

Oh, oh.

I don't feel so damn good.

Oh, f*ck. Oh.

What the f*ck is going on?

Oh, what's happening to me?

Man.

What the f*ck is happening?

Oh, god.

We need to get the f*ck

out here. sh*t's hitting the fan.

Let's go to my boat.

All right, well, we got to get to my car.

It's around back.

Whoa.

Did you f*cking hear that?

That was loud, dude. f*ck

holy sh*t, dude.

That's tawny's Jeep man.

She hit one of them f*ck.

Dude, he's under the f*cking car.

Oh, my god! Oh, my god! What

did you do? You just hit that guy.

(Screaming) Let's get the f*ck outta here.

(Car door opening)

(Screaming)

(Footsteps running down stairs)

sh*t.

Come on let's go! Go, go, go!

I k*lled... (Screaming)

Guys, help me!

Ahhh! Ahhh! Ahhh!

Upstairs...

Go, go, go, go, go.

After you dude.

(Loud footsteps on stairs)

Nom, nom, nom.

So where the f*ck where you?

We didn't know what was going on.

We were in the store, and

she just started going crazy.

Lady was screaming in the aisle.

We went over there. There

was blood everywhere. I knew it.

I knew it.

Brian, where's that

dude at? We need a plan.

Dude, let's go.

Come on. Let's go to my boat.

Let's go to my boat out of here.

All right, let me go get him. f*cking guy.

f*ck him. What the f*ck Brian?

Where's he at?

(Door clicks open)

Dude, dude, he's f*cked up.

What?

(Synth sting)

Ah, dud f*ck that. He's done. He's done.

We got to. Come on, come on. Hurry up.

(Screaming) Oh, my god!

Get the f*ck out of here!

What the f*ck dude.

Holy sh*t.

Ahhhh... ahhhhh.

(Gurgling)

(Splat)

Oh, dude.

Oh, my god! f*cking, f*cking crackhead.

He's a f*ck.

Mmm.. Shouldn't have let your

f*cking a*s in here. (Thunk, thunk, thunk)

You f*cking crackhead. f*ck.

(Squish of brains splattering)

(Synth sting)

Done deal.

Let's get the f*ck outta here.

You got to go. Let's go, man.

Keys are in the car.

Okay.

(Screaming)

Ah, sh*t! (Zombies moaning)

Go, go, go go!

(Car starting)

(Car revs away)

(Car getting closer)

(Synth drone)

(Car door closes)

(Hatch clicks shut)

Piece of cake.

(Door squeaks)

(Door clicks shut)

No alarm?

Okay.

(Emergency tone)

This is civil danger warning

effective nation wide.

Your attention is required.

All stations and cable systems

should transmit this emergency

notification message.

This is not a test.

The following emergency

message is transmitted at the request

of the United States government.

Whatever.

(Paper crinkles)

Don't f*ck it up.

This will be easier then Chapman storage.

(Click)

(Punk rock on earphones)

(Punk rock gets louder)

Rhyme or riddle, impossible name

faking beauty and stay in the game

(Ominous synth drone)

(Door creaks open)

(Punk rock music continues)

every part of me is fighting to win

sin city, waiting for me

around the corner I'm begging to be

double trouble is leaning on me

next time you see me I won't

be the same oooo. Next time...

(Scary synth music)

(Punk rock music)

Oooo. You'll see me shove for myself.

No beating down on someone else

(Scary synth music)

(Punk rock music) no

way in hell I'm gonna die

leave me alone and I'll be fine

(Scary synth music)

(Faint punk music) (Toilet flushes)

(Punk music gets louder) next time

you see me I won't be the same

sin city I'm looking at you sin

city I'm looking at you. Sin city...

(Scary synth music)

(Punk rock continues) oooo, yeah

Ugh. Gnarly.

Explains no alarm code.

Where's the closet?

(Escalating scary synth

music) (Door creaks open)

(Heavy footsteps)

What the actual f*ck.

(Zombie moaning)

Oh, hell no.

Don't f*ck it up.

f*ck.

(Zombies heavy breathing)

(Zombie growling)

Uh!

Uh, yah, yah! (Hammer whack, whack, whack)

f*cking kidding me.

(Door slams)

(Thunk, thunk) (Zombie squealing)

(Thunk)

(Champahne pops) (Women cheering)

It's exciting.

(Women chattering)

It's like it came so fast.

(Excited chatting and laughter)

Oh, girl you nasty!

Ooo, I did not.

Hey, now where is that stripper?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, you know what?

We're all out of champagne.

(Acoustic alt rock guitar music)

(Jeans swish with footsteps)

Welcome to wiseguys. How may I help you?

I'm going to take some

of those cones over there.

How are those? How do they hold the joint?

They're pretty good.

They're good. Okay, cool.

You know, I'm going to take

one of those green blazers.

The green.

The green.

Yeah, the green.

Green ones mine.

And I'm going to take...

How about those? Rhinos?

The horny rhino 6000.

Those work pretty good?

Well, we got some strongers ones too.

Stronger ones?

You want a stronger one?

Sure. Why do you think I have ed?

All right, let's see what we got here.

You need it for the show tonight. Okay.

I found these on a homeless person.

I'm just f*cking Sam speeder.

You know what I mean.

I'm not going to use it on

f*cking homeless people.

It'll make things worse.

Don't say anything about women.

I'm going to end up there with a shitty

f*cking gig that I got here, you know?

So let me look at what I got.

Is that all you want?

Yeah, I guess so.

Trust me, don't get old, you

know, doing b-movie stuff,

and now I'm reduced to a

f*cking cheap old f*cking stripper.

Yeah, yeah. Don't get old.

All right, you guys take a quick pay.

All right, that's on tax right.

It'll be tax if you use the

card. Tax, Jesus f*cking Christ.

Okay, what do I expect, it's San Pedro.

Okay.

We're all good.

- All right.

No receipt. Yep.

We're out of paper anyway.

All right.

Have a good one.

(Ominous music)

Hey get the f*ck out of here you tweaker.

God dammit, you stupid f*cking c**t.

f*cking b*tch.

Get the f*ck out of here.

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

I told ya already.

Get the f*ck out of here.

You come in here every f*cking day.

Back the f*ck up.

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

Back up.

Back the f*ck...

The stripper is here.

You gotta get the door.

Oh, oh. Yay!

Oh, oh, it's Amy!

Always late girl. Dammit Amy.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god, you guys.

Oh, my gosh.

Like, the traffic was so bad.

Like, there were people, like, running

in the middle of the f*cking street.

Like, I don't know

what's going on out there.

What? I'm so sorry.

Yeah, it's not even noon yet.

I don't. Yeah, I know. I don't know.

Is there like some sports

game or something?

No, the playoffs are done.

Well I don't f*cking do sports.

So let's do this party!

Yeah, yay, yeah. All right Veronica!

Woohoo!

Ah, f*cking ugly c**t. I'm

going to get rabies after this here.

What the f*ck?

Jesus, f*cking.

(Synth sting)

Last time I'm coming to this f*cking town.

f*cking sh*t.

Oh, my god.

This food is so good.

Thank you so much for inviting me.

Your friends are so nice.

Of course I invited you.

Let's raise our glasses

and toast to Veronica.

Of course! Yes!

I'm a little nervous. I don't like

talking in front of people, but.

I promise to keep this short so we can

hurry up and get our party on. Woo!

I want to thank you

all for being able to celebrate

my best friend Veronica.

On your last day as a single lady.

Yeah, I never thought

she'd get married again.

Again? Yeah.

You don't know about number one? sh*t.

How many times have you been married?

But today is a special day no matter what.

It's a special day.

The final farewell to the Vixen, Veronica.

Tomorrow she'll be an

official reformed cougar.

Oh, I'll just leave these are my final

parting words you can

bestow into your wedding day.

And she walks down the

aisle toward her beloved Rob.

She'll be all smiles knowing

she's given her last blow job.

Oh my god!

(Laughter0

cheers!

It's called a blow job because

it's f*cking work, man.

Let me tell you, if I'm doing it right.

It's f*cking work. Yeah, you

could get lockjaw from that.

It's no fun.

I mean, so I heard

are you talking from experience?

Ladies, I just wanted to say.

Thank you so much for being here.

You are my closest friends,

and this means so much to me.

I just love you ladies so

much. Like, thank you so much.

(Knock on door)

(Women squealing) Oh my god!

I feel giddy!

Whoa! Yay! (Excited screaming)

I'm excited to be here. Yes, she is!

Whoa, woo, woo!

So, how's it goin'? Woo, yay!

Break me off a piece of that.

Yeah.

Well, first and foremost, ladies,

tell me where a bathroom that

I got to get into my dental floss

you're all into oral hygiene.

Ha, ha, ha. It's over there, hurry up!

Oh, my god! Oh, gosh.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my gosh. He's so fine!

f*ck oh my god!

(Excited conversation)

You better f*ck that

dude. Oh my god, I can't.

Oh, says you can't f*ck.

You're not married yet.

Yeah, right.

Okay.

(Excited conversation)

Right here and now.

Damn. I hope you brought

a lot of f*cking money.

(Laughter)

I'll drink to that.

Whee!

(Snorts)

f*cking homeless b*tch.

Red scratch fever. f*ck.

Ugh.

Oh. How am I going to go out like this?

(Drawer scrapes)

Maybe... ah, good.

Ah, f*cking homeless piece of sh*t.

Why? f*ck

ok, inside.

Just go in to get these

f*cking tips. I'm booking my a*s out.

These f*cking b*tches better

leave me a good tip.

Oh, my god! Woo!

Woo! Wow! Yoohoo! Alright!

Okay, now I'm giving. You a tip so

you have credit here.

All of you here.

So you can get started.

Yes! Alright!

Oh, woohoo!

(Sexy music starts) Woo! Yeah!

(Cheering)

Take it off! Take it off!

Take it off! Take it off!

Woohoo!

Whoa!

Woo! (Cat calls)

Come on!

Yeah! Are we having fun!

Woo! Come on baby!

Oh, my gosh.

Oh my god! You got anything in there?

Wow! Yeah!

Snap it!

(Laughter and screams)

Oh, whoa

woohoo!

Oh, you know you want it.

Oh, oh, oh,

Shake it!

Woo!

Wow!

Yeah! Take it off!

Shake it! Give it to her!

It's her party! Shake it! Shake it!

Woohoo!

It's too much!

Oh, my god!

Yeah! Woo!

Alright!

Wow!

Come on beat her!

Right on!

(Laughter)

Yeah!

Get naked!

Woo!

Woo (clapping)

Yeah!

Yes!

All right, all right ladies.

Got any more tips for my coin purse?

(Laughter)

Better not be just a stack

of dimes in there, buddy.

I'll give you a stack of dimes.

I'll smack a little all over your face.

Whoa!

Wow, woo!

Woo! Yay!

Oh, my god.

That was incredible.

Oh, thanl you ladies.

I hope that was a six orgasm dance for you.

(Laughter)

Well ladies, oh my god!

As much as I'd like to do

more magic Mike with you.

You guys are all lovely

magic milfs.

Woo! I'll take it!

That's right! Yeah!

(Excited chatter) I'd like

to bite off a piece of your...

Hmm, rrrrr, grrr.

Hey, are you there?

What's she doing?

sh*t. I didn't tip you enough.

What can you do for $100?

Carmen! I can do a lot for

100 bucks baby. Come on.

Carmen... Looks like

cramen is getting some action.

I do a lot for 100 bucks.

Mmm. (Smooching noises)

Horny b*tch (Giggles) (Butt slap)

What do you want the

pump and grind? Mmm hmm.

Yeah?

Ahhh.

Mmmm. Mmmm.

(Synth sting) Ahhh. Oww.

What the f*ck are you doing?

Stop it.

(Screams)

(Knock on door)

Carmen!

Quit being such a f*cking h*.

Come on.

Ha, ha. She probably does

have a d*ck in her mouth.

Let me see what the f*ck's going on.

Oh, my god, what the

f*ck are you doing to her?

What the f*ck! Ahhh, ahhhh.

(Screams) (Synth sting)

Arghh!

Oh my god! (Screaming)

(High pitched screams)

Go to hell!

(More screaming)

(Synth sting)

Uh.

Ahhhh. Ahhhh.

Huh, huh, huh.

Help! Nahhh, ha, na.

Oh, no, no.

Ahhh, ha, ha.

Yum, um, num. Get the f*ck off of me!

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, ya, ha, ha.

Oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh,

better her than me.

Uh, uh.

But, help, stop!

Go, no!

Ahhh, ha, ha.

Gahh, ha, ha.

Ahhh, ha. Uh.

(Ominous synth drone)

(Heavy footsteps)

(Zombie scream)

Welcome everybody to conspiracy corner

I'm your host John, today

we have a treat for you.

We give you the conspiracy

theories as they come live.

So today we got a special treat for you.

The living dead has taken over

Las Vegas and now the entire world.

I just watched a YouTube video

just lie rally like 5 minutes ago,

and I keep my notes here, so I'm looking

down I'm not writing a script I promise.

The governor has issued martial

law forcing us to stay inside our homes.

Hmmm. Does this sound familiar?

Maybe 2020?

Flesh eating zombies.

He scores these zombies.

Whatever you want to

call them at this point?

Created by the elite.

The illuminati

the cabal

whatever you want to

call them. Hilary Clinton?

Whatever you want to

call them at this point.

I don't care what you want to

call them. They are zombies. Ok?

They were created by the

government and Hollywood.

Is this population control?

I think so.

If these things bite you,

you will become one of them.

And you will start feasting

on the rest of the living.

Including babies.

Wake up america! Before it's too late.

(Zombie screams)

I don't know what you have,

but I don't want it.

I need you to get the f*ck away.

I don't want your syphilis b*tch.

I will sh**t you.

(g*nf*re)

(Thud)

Grrrr

grrrr

f*ck.

(Whack)

Ahhhh.

Uhhh, uhhh. (Door handle rattles)

(Heavy breathing)

(Click)

sh*t! (Scary synth music swells)

(Crash)

(Irregular footsteps)

(Klong)

Dammit, Karen.

I've got you now.

Die! (Squish)

(Crickets)

(Beep emergency tone)

(Static)

I am pastor Donald.

The apocalypse is upon us.

And it's your fault that it is.

You removed prayer from schools.

You allow people to abort babies

after they are born, using their umbilical

cords to strangle them, to m*rder them.

You are allowing boys to become

girls and girls to become boys.

You voted for the wrong president.

These are the things that have upset god.

These are the things.

That make him upset.

And now it is his wrath.

He's taking sinners

and turning them against

the christians.

The undead are now attacking

good wholesome christians.

And it's your fault.

It's your fault.

The blue haired, the green haired,

the rainbow coalition.

You've done all the things to

make sure that the world will

come to an end.

You will anger the almighty.

And now Las Vegas.

Sin city

is now doomed because of you.

That's right.

Because of you.

You didn't read the Bible.

You didn't listen to what we had to say.

You didn't give

enough money to the church.

Instead, you bought

medication, you bought groceries.

You got gas for your car.

But that money could

have gone to the church.

That money could have helped

with getting you into heaven.

And now, look.

The apocalypse is on us

and it's your fault.

Are you going to go to heaven?

I don't think so.

Because of your activities.

Who knows now?

Who knows if you're going to heaven?

I don't.

Do you?

All I have to say is pray.

Just pray.

Vegas is doomed.

The country is doomed.

The world is doomed

because you went against god.

(Emergency beep tone)

(Static)

(Ominous music)

(Boom)

(Bang)

Grrr, nah.

Yah.

(Whack) Yah!

Duh, uh. Uh. (Thud, thud)

Yuh. (Thud)

(Soothing synth tones)

(Harsh synth sting)

Ahhh!

Nom, nom, nom. (Squish)

This is ktnv 13 serving

the city of Las Vegas.

We are interrupting our program to

deliver an emergency alert system message.

Please stand by.

(Beep, beep, beep)

(Emergency tone)

The following message is transmitted

at the request of the Nevada state

emergency management agency.

This is not a test to all

residents receiving this broadcast.

Lock all your doors

immediately and stay indoors.

In several American cities,

there have been reports of

rioting, mass panic and explosions.

The 911 hotline is now

operating with limited capacity

due to the high volume of calls.

If you have any information

and or sightings, please contact

the Nevada state central

dispatch at 317692588.

(Ominous synth music)

(Upbeat acoustic guitar alt rock)

So how was your night last night?

Okay.

Let me tell you, ladies

about Chad last night.

Chad, that's a new name.

Have we heard that name before?

No, I just met him online. Oh, okay.

Hold up.

Did you meet him on tinder?

Hinge, farmers only? It was hinge. Okay.

Quite a respectable app.

Yeah, that's good. We can work with that.

We like that. Nice and safe.

We met in a public spot.

Okay, good.

Did you like take you out anywhere nice?

- He did.

He took me to this really

nice Italian restaurant.

Oh, I like Italian. That's good.

And did he pay?

He did. Good.

Princess treatment.

Yeah, exactly. I don't settle for less.

No kidding.

You already know.

Okay. Like, are you still...

Aren't you still doing that diet?

I am. So, yeah, I was.

That's okay. I didn't get to eat that much.

What, like a lettuce here?

Grass there?

Yeah. Um, I'm.

I had a dessert.

That's better.

He was.

He was very cool.

And he was teaching

me this new thing, right?

So I was pretty much crying

the whole dinner about um

how I couldn't eat any food.

Yeah. Uh, huh as I would.

So he taught me this trick.

Oh, okay. Tell us more.

So we incorporated the

food into the bedroom.

Oh, okay. A three course meal.

I see.

I like that. Well kind of.

It was just bacon.

Just bacon? Okay. It's my favorite food.

Yeah. Yeah.

So, did you, like, fried

up together and eat it?

And just watch a movie or

something? Knid of. Kind of?

Okay.

Hold up. What's going

on here? What happened?

Give us the details. We

need all of it right now.

So I had this, bacon

and I just kept it in my throat, like,

the whole time that we were f*cking.

Isn't it like greasy.

Didn't it like. Uh, yeah.

It was so good.

It was so tasty.

Okay, but it was great

because I didn't have to eat it.

It was just there in my

throat the whole time.

It was so hot. Yeah.

And, like, we just sitting there,

like, or was he f*cking you?

Oh, yeah.

He was f*cking, you? Miss bad.

Which hole? You're wild.

Okay, you already know.

Know what? Back door.

Oh, my god.

Like, wow.

Where did you even.

Like I said, he treated me like a Princess.

I gave him the royal treatment.

Oh, I swear.

Oh, my goodness. And what happened?

Did you just, like, end up

eating the bacon after or what?

Well, no. So what you do

is you pull it out at the end.

That's a waste.

When you guys are like finishing?

Mmm, hmm.

And he yanked it out and

my a*s clinched really hard.

Oh, my god, girl, we came so hard.

My goodness.

This is wild.

I love it.

Apparently it's called a wolf bagging.

Wolf bagging? I've never

heard of it. Never heard. Right.

Where did you learn this?

- I know.

I thought I knew everything and

this guy was teaching me new tricks.

Okay, well, okay.

I love that. And you're

going to see him again.

I am going to wait

a couple days, you know,

play hard to get. There you go.

Yeah. Okay. Real question, though.

What does he do fo work?

Uhh.

Oh, okay.

He's a farmer.

Oh, my god. Get out of here.

Are you kidding me? What's

up with you and farmers?

I swear.

No wonder you use the bacon.

I know he probably learned

it on the farm, like, oh,

I have some hogs going to k*ll them

and just fry up to bacon and see what

we can do with it.

God.

What can I say they're freaks.

They're good to the animals.

I mean, true that.

He has manners.

Okay. Have you ever dated a farmer?

No. Okay, good.

And I don't want to now. I know. I...

Like.

Well, good. More for me.

I respect that. That is.

And I love that for you.

But I could never like I need money.

I don't need greasy, dirty hands.

All right, well, I'll take the family,

man, and you take the money.

And then best of both worlds.

When I have my mansion,

you guys can live in it.

Exactly. I love that.

Oh, my god. We're all going

to live together in your mansion.

Yes. We could, like, have a whole thing.

It will be so much fun.

But, like, don't worry.

I got us all covered.

Hey, Ronnie, I really appreciate

you coming out today, man.

Of course. My pleasure.

When I got the message for you, you

wanted me to come and join you and

help you out in a pinch.

I was honored man. Great I

need someone solid on my team.

Thank you. Thank you for considering me.

You know, I have to share

the same views you have on,

you know, the problems with our community.

Yes, you know what...

With the crime and the vagrants,

it's f*cking mess, you know?

Well, you know, here's my

philosophy the way I see it.

The vagrancy is kind of like

a scourge to our community.

It's like, um

a plague, if you will.

And people like you and me, we're like.

We're like the vaccines. There you go.

How do you like that? I like that.

- Yeah.

Maybe we'll use that on the page. Yeah?

That'll get us noticed.

By all the hot chicks!

Oh, hey, I wasn't even

thinking about that angle.

Also, I've been thinking about

some names for our page okay.

What do you got? Well, let me run

a by, you know, see what you think.

How about beat city street sweepers?

That's kind of cheesy.

No. Yeah.

Well, I got another one to

kind of more serious about. Um,

let's see.

Windows into the homes of the homeless?

That's kind of long. I

don't know what else.

Okay, well, how about we shorten

it to windows with dirk and rod?

I like that we use their name

in there. That's a good thing.

Our name isn't Neil and Bob.

Yeah, right. That's a good one.

I got one more about encampment raid

the no mooch motel, vagrants check in.

We check them out. Right. Right.

Okay, I like that. For sure.

Speaking to checking them out.

Wasn't there in the cabin

you were talking about?

Yeah, it's down over here.

There's a bunch of

homeless sh*t over here, man.

Okay, let's go check it out.

Okay. I'm with you.

Okay.

Crazy enough

let's not even talk

about in n out right now.

Yeah, I totally forgot.

You're on a diet. Oh, god.

When are you off of it?

I'm so bored with it. Right?

You trust me?

Did you hear that? Shhh.

It's over here.

Just take it a look.

Hey, you brought binoculars?

Dying is a m*therf*cker.

You didn't tell me I would

have brought something.

Good thing I brought this.

The hell are you going to

do that? See a flying cow?

Of course I probably could.

I got a pretty good view down there.

Hey, you see that guy?

You recognize that guy? You do?

Yeah. He's the king of the encampments.

His name is homeless

Harry. I got a file on him.

Okay, let's go check this out. Okay.

What do you want me to do?

That get rid of that

thing and I'll film it.

Okay. Let's go.

(Slurping and chomping)

Hey.

Are you okay?

I used to always go

investigate these situations.

I'm a capricorn. What

do you expect. Oh, boy.

Come on, let's go check it out.

Yeah, it's probably like,

this is going to be fun.

It's going to be like a coyote or

something. It's going to be fun.

Oh, yeah.

I love. Coyotes.

Great.

Are you ok?

(Footsteps) What the f*ck?

Come don't hang back on us.

I swear

we're all in this together.

(Slurping and crunching)

Ahhh! Oh, my god!

Oh, god. f*ck

(screams)

Oh god! Oh god!

f*ck!

(Heavy ominous music)

(Footsteps dragging on gravel)

Yeahhhh.

Oh, sh*t, oh f*ck. No, no, no!

(Scraming and crying)

(Quiet footsteps)

It's over this way.

Come on over here.

I'm right behind you, dude.

What the f*ck? What the

hell is going on over there?

f*ck!

(Synth sting)

What the f*ck are you doing?

What the f*ck bro?

No, no, he's coming right at

us bro. Jesus Christ that's gross.

Oh, f*ck let's get out of here man.

Come on. f*ck.

Jesus f*cking Christ.

f*ck this bro. f*ck this (g*nshots)

Holy sh*t!

sh**t 'em in the brain!

Okay (g*nsh*t)

(Squish)

Oh, f*ck. f*ck that.

Come on, let's go, bro. f*ck.

(Background small talk)

Kick their a*s... Bullshit.

That team sucked but we still lost.

Going to the bar?

Yeah.

Whose down for goig to the bar after this?

I think we all need one after that game.

Yeah. Okay. I don't know.

I'd rather have a cup of bong hits

myself. (g*nf*re) Oh, sh*t! Whoa!

Is that g*nf*re? No that

sounded like fireworks.

No, that was g*nf*re. I know

what that sh*t sounds like.

Sounded like g*nf*re.

I'm thinking g*nf*re myself.

Where did it come from

over there man. I can't tell.

Yeah, that was g*nshots.

Where did it come from?

Right up there.

I think it's that way. I

got an echo in here, man.

I heard a reverb off of

the canyon there oh, sh*t.

Help!

Oh sh*t! Rick!

Rick, help me!

Rick.

Oh, god.

Oh, f*ck.

Oh, f*ck! Run!

What the f*ck is this?

(Panting)

Oh, sh*t.

They got him man.

Oh, dude, they took a bite

out of Tony. What the f*ck.

Dude, what the f*ck was that guy?

I've never seen sh*t like that before.

Yeah, never seen sh*t

like that before. Scumbag.

Was thatt some psycho homeless guy or what?

You got a signal? Ain't got sh*t.

f*ck signal.

I don't either. I didn't even bring

my cell phone. I left it in the car.

What do we do? Nothing.

We get back to the car.

We got to get the f*ck out of here.

All right, let's go.

Ah, f*ck! More of them!

Watch out for. Stupid.

Get the f*ck outta here.

Dude.

f*ck. Come on.

Get the f*ck off me.

(Zombies moaning)

Holy sh*t. There comes somebody.

Where did you girls come from?

Who are you?

It doesn't matter.

We just saw two people get eaten by people.

Our buddy just got f*cked up.

They took a chunk out of him.

Do you guys got a car around here?

Where? How far?

We've been running everywhere.

I think we're just close up here.

We got a car that's like 5 minutes away.

We got to get there and

get the f*ck out of here.

Find, find the police or

do something. I don't know.

Let's get out of here.

Yeah. Hey, I can't run no more.

I'm going to piss myself.

No way. I'm going to take

a piss before we leave.

Just give me a sec,

okay? Make it quick, bro.

f*ck.

All right.

Hey I'm going to go check up on him man.

Alright. Is there any people up that way?

f*ck dude.

I hope it's 5 minutes away.

Tony got f*cked up man.

Hey, man.

Thanks for coming to watch my back.

Yeah, I drank a 12 pack while

we played that game, man.

Hurry up man we got to

get the f*ck outta here.

Oh, dude, I got to go

or I'm gonna f*cking piss myself.

(Synth sting)

Hey Rick! What? Rick!

Rick! What?

Rick!

f*ck.

Oh, ow! Oh. f*ck!

Oh, oh (Zombies moaning)

Well, f*ck, man.

When he gets back to here, we got

to boogie. Get the f*ck out of dodge.

Yeah.

f*ck. Oh, f*cking run! What the f*ck?

Oh, sh*t. Run (Girls scream)

sh*t, there's more of them.

How many are there dude?

(g*nf*re)

(Zombies moaning)

Nailed her! (Hand slap)

Good job. Get the f*ck

outta here bro. Oh, f*ck.

You know where the car is?

I think it's about another 200 yards away.

Yeah.

(Synth sting) (Screaming) Oh, sh*t!

Oh, f*ck let's get out of here.

(Screaming)

(Zombie munching) (Gasping)

Uhhh.

f*ck there's more man hurry up.

Hurry up.

Oh, come on, oh, f*ck man.

Take a break man. f*ck the women.

Man they're everywhere

dude. What are we going to do.

Hey dude you got any tissue? No man.

I think I sh*t myself a little bit.

Don't worry about it right now man.

Oh, f*ck. No, no, no.

(g*nshots)

Hey man! (Distant sirens)

Oh, oh.

(Zombies moaning)

(Suspenseful music)

All right.

How much farther to the car?

You got about 50 yards

that way around the corner.

There's a sh*t load of them down there man.

They're all over. You're k*lling

me man. You're k*lling me.

Which way are we going to go?

The car's that way.

Ii don't know man. Let's

get out of here this way.

We're f*cked man. Oh, sh*t! (Synth sting)

f*cking run! (Screaming)

Arghhh!

(Heavy breathing and panting)

Oh, f*ck. Oh, my god.

What the f*ck. We got to get out of here.

You got a car? I do, but it's

the way the f*ck down there.

sh*t. And all those freaks are up there.

What the f*ck is that?

(g*nshots)

Oh, hey, man.

Hey, hey. We need help.

Who the f*ck are you?

We were just playing softball.

We ran across these girls.

All right, we're trapped.

I was trying to get to my car.

The car is in the paking lot.

Well, you're kind of f*cked here.

They're swarming all over the place. Oh,

f*ck. The parking lot is teeming with them.

Jesus Christ. They're all over the place.

There! (g*nshots)

f*ck dude, run! Run, run, run!

(Zombies moaning)

Oh f*cking a.

Oh, sh*t.

(g*nshots)

Oh, there ain't no way I'm going to

become one of those mother f*cking things.

Ain't no f*cking way.

(g*nsh*t)

(Zombies moaning)

Yarghhh.

Come on!

The car's ahead.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

The car is back this way man.

f*ck it dude. They're all over the place.

They're everywhere.

What are we going to do?

We gotta go some place. (Synth sting)

Guess we'll go back around the corner.

Oh sh*t!

What's the matter?

Oh sh*t! (Screamimg)

f*ck. f*ck. f*ck. Let's go! sh*t!

Ahhhh! (g*nsh*t)

Ahhh!

Oh sh*t! Owww!

Arghhh!

Ahhhh!

(Ominous music)

f*ck.

There's more of these

b*stards every g*dd*mn second.

f*cking, they're everywhere, man.

Oh, f*ck this sh*t. I'm out of here.

No, no.

It's dangerous to go.

Do not go by yourself.

Dude, you guys are on your

own. I'm outta here. No, no.

No!

What the f*ck?

f*ck they're everywhere man.

One over there. (g*nshots)

Back this way.

Come on. Go!

Oh, my god.

All right,

I'm here.

If I can just get up to the street

and maybe flag somebody down.

Get out of...

f*ck. What the f*ck? f*ck.

f*ck. Oh my god!

Jesus f*cking Christ!

Yahhhh!

Man, these mother

f*ck are everywhere man.

It's scary around here.

They're all over the place.

(Screaming)

(g*nsh*t)

f*ck it what's going on? (g*n clicks empty)

Yeah.

Arghhh!

Oh, god.

Help!

Look there's more! Oh my god! Oh my god!

(Screamimg)

No! (Zombies moaning)

(Screaming)

(News theme music)

Terror, chaos, and fear gripped the nation.

Then a zombie

outbreak occurred, making everyone's

lives a little more difficult this week.

While some people living in

the downtown core of winnipeg

saw no difference in the matter.

The rest of the world is plunging into

complete anarchy and lawlessness.

Supply chains have been disrupted.

Politicians have disappeared

to the underground bunkers and even the

Internet is going in and out of service.

Mika stone

reporting live from a safer location.

With me, I have to comment

world renowned billionaire

and virologists Bill Gates.

Bill Gates.

What do you have to comment

on the current situation?

Well, I can assure you that

none of this came from a lab.

We have scientists working

around the clock looking at all

the data to make sure

that... (Zombies moaning)

(Maching g*n fire)

(Zombies gurgling) (Static)

(Screaming)

(Zombies hissing)

(Whack) What we got to get out of here.

I know how to stop this thing

but you're going to have

to come with me right now.

There aren't a lot of humans left.

(Zombies growling)

(Screaming) Help! Someone help!

(Screaming)

Ya! Ya! Ha!

(Slurping and munching)

It was at this moment he knew

he f*cked up.

Yaaaa! Arghhh!

(Static)

(Emergency tone)

(Heavy synth rock)

(Acoustic guitar alternative rock)

(Scary synth rock)