Sound of Falling (2025)

[bunniefuu]

Erika!

Bring the pigs into the barn!

Erika, the pigs!

Bring the pigs into the barn!

The coast is clear.

Berta?

You rascals!

Just you wait!

Hurry up, everyone's arrived.

For me?

Mother picked it out for you.

For All Souls' Day.

Come on, get dressed.

What should I do?

Watch what the others do.

Holy eternal God

Today,

we remember the people

You have called from our midst

And also remember

That we, too,

must die one day

Mother is gagging again.

Her stomach does whatever it wants.

Everyone hears it in the silence,

but pretends not to notice.

Blinking once means:

I love you.

Blinking twice means:

I love you very much.

We keep a tally of

who gets the most blinks from Mother.

Hedda is usually ahead.

But only because

she's our cr*pple.

Thy kingdom come

Thy will be done

on Earth as it is in Heaven

Give us this day

our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive those

who trespass against us

And lead us not into temptation

But deliver us from evil,

for Thine...

And?

Do you think next year

your picture will be on the dresser?

I'm not afraid.

- You don't need to fear death.

- No.

I'm not.

But I'm not getting in a box,

I tell you.

Nobody knows

if you notice

anything they do to you.

Nobody can say

if you don't notice anymore.

What they do to you.

I've seen them all die.

I've survived them all.

Your mother, too.

- Yes, my Fanni.

- I know, I know.

Bye.

Put a potato sack

over Trudi's head

and do it

for your country.

Looks like Mother.

It is Mother.

Who's the girl?

Alma.

That's not true.

It is.

It's Alma.

But I'm Alma.

She looks like you.

Maybe her spirit

passed into you.

Perhaps you're not yourself,

but her.

I think she's just asleep.

She doesn't look like she's dead.

Maybe they thought she was dead

and buried her alive.

She stole the sugar beet

from the cellar

and is calmly eating it

in her coffin.

How old was she

when she died?

Seven.

Why did she die so early?

I don't know.

She was ailing.

At some point,

she just didn't wake up

anymore.

Lia?

What did you mean by

she just didn't wake up?

Sleep, Alma.

What happens

when you're dead?

Nothing.

It was a dream.

Mama?

Yes?

- Know what I think is funny?

- What?

When I see a door handle,

I know exactly

what it tastes like,

though I've never licked one.

Isn't that funny?

Probably because you always put

everything in your mouth as a baby.

Cigarettes from the ground,

dog poop...

- That's not true!

- Yes, it is.

But how did I reach the door handle

as a baby?

Time to sleep.

Have you ordered

the dumpsters yet?

sh*t.

I forgot to call back.

Order two small ones

instead of a large one this time.

And tell them to put them

directly under the windows,

so I can dump the rubble out

with Lenka.

Who was that?

This girl,

a few houses away.

The daughter of the...

one...

whose mother died.

Warm.

Nelly, move,

it's heavy.

Wait, like this.

Gotcha!

Now cover your right eye.

- Like this?

- Exactly.

And look at the X

with your left eye.

Exactly,

now move slowly toward it.

When the O disappears,

you've found your blind spot.

- Crazy, right?

- Yeah, it was gone, unbelievable.

- Simply gone?

- That's literally your blind spot.

- The optician said so.

- You wanna try?

- That's quite something.

- How? On the left?

Keep that eye closed,

and then... Wait.

- Like this?

- Show me the glasses you chose.

For me,

it doesn't disappear.

Because you're doing it wrong.

I'll explain it to you later.

They're chic.

It's quite something

when you consider

that the world

is actually upside down.

The optician said so.

The brain mirrors everything

before it reaches

our noggin.

But is it like that

for everyone?

Everyone except you.

Come on.

Give it to me.

- What are you doing?

- Go ahead.

Don't make such a face.

There are worse things.

Did you thank Uncle Uwe

for the ride into town?

No need to,

I was happy to do it.

What, sit down.

What now?

Did you get the glasses?

Let me see.

They look chic.

Did you make sugar cake?

- Give me a slice, please.

- No, come in.

Angelika...

Say, Uwe,

I can't wrap my head

around the hydraulics.

What's wrong this time?

- Can you look at it?

- Sure.

You're getting crumbs all over.

Hold the stroke

down to your hips.

Rainer, let's go!

You'll rest in a minute.

Two more weeks.

I'll manage it.

You have to manage it.

The others don't sleep, either.

With a bit more tension,

I'll be fine.

Then get it from somewhere.

Practice the motions

every day.

You have time now

to go in once a day.

Excellent.

But you're still using

too much energy.

Nice long strokes,

and follow through.

You can't keep up that pace

for the full distance.

You guys need to keep

the movements in mind.

Go through the movements

every night before you go to bed.

I often pretended I didn't notice

how they looked at me.

As if I were

immersed in thought.

But it was actually me

who was secretly watching them

looking at me.

Mama, look.

I can even do it with one arm. Look!

Mama,

you weren't even looking.

I did, sweetie,

it was great!

That's not true,

you weren't looking.

How would you know?

You were underwater.

Come on,

show me again.

Great!

Look!

And one and two

and three and four

A hat, a stick,

an umbrella

And forwards, backwards, to the side,

and one and two...

Nelly?

Nelly!

I love it when the skin smells

musty like a river.

And the smell of cellars.

I love the smell of cellars.

I'm addicted to it.

- And nail polish.

- Yeah, but not as much as cellars.

First,

the smell of cellars.

Papa's coming.

Then river smell on my skin

and then nail polish.

Damn, it's so nice here.

Isn't it nice here, children?

Yes!

Now I can do an underwater handstand

with one arm.

Yeah, really cool.

And I found black sand.

Muddy sand!

Are you hungry?

We have bread, cheese,

sausage and wine here.

I saw a grasshopper.

Yeah, a big green grasshopper.

What are you doing?

Always up to some nonsense.

Too bad you never know

when you're at your happiest.

Eight, nine, ten.

One, two, three...

That one counts

three times.

At least.

Seven, eight, nine, ten.

Eleven.

I won.

Warm.

Does it hurt?

Nonsense.

First one to the oak tree.

Tie a knot.

Uwe, Uwe...

I'll show you how it's done!

That doesn't count!

This isn't my bike!

I'll do it again!

Now I can do it.

Now it counts.

I got it!

Yes!

Into the tub!

Volker, Volker...

You can't do it!

Now it's Irm's turn!

Irm, Irm...

You can do it.

Come on!

- I'm unlucky at such things.

- It's got nothing to do with luck.

Come on,

someone else do it.

- Try it again.

- I'll do it.

My turn!

Angelika, Angelika...

Now?

Now?

Now!

Now.

You've got a b*ner.

No, I don't.

- Get up.

- Let's see.

Better not.

Stand up.

- Disgusting.

- Get naked!

Get up.

Pull down your pants.

Angelika, pull down his pants.

Not much to see,

it's so small.

Come on, Rainer, get up.

Get up, get up...

Pull down your pants!

Take them off!

Take it easy.

Just here.

Will you drive me

to Gl?wisch today?

Gl?wisch?

What are you doing

in Gl?wisch?

Disco?

Maybe.

Where were you earlier?

Drinking schnapps

with the others.

Will you drive me

to Gl?wisch now?

Sorry.

I have other plans.

How will you get

to Gl?wisch now?

Come on, go home!

Today was good.

Everything worked out.

Everyone had fun.

There was enough food.

Haven't laughed

that much in a long time.

We have leftover pasta salad.

The children were funny, too.

I've never seen Anna

laugh so much.

She usually

just complains.

Good thing

I baked another cake.

Or it might've been

too little.

I remember how Mama

never knew when to laugh.

Whenever something was funny,

she never laughed.

She laughed when

there was nothing to laugh at,

when something bad happened.

When someone died,

she suddenly grinned.

She didn't want to,

her body did it all by itself.

And the more she tried not to grin,

the more she grinned.

Until she had

a real laughing fit.

She covered her mouth with her hand

so no one could see and turned red.

It's funny that you turn red

when you're ashamed.

In your face,

so everyone can see it.

We played a prank on Mom

for her birthday.

It was Dad's idea.

He always wanted to make Mom laugh.

It never worked.

Long may she live

Three cheers for her

Long may she live

Three cheers for her

Hip, hip, hooray!

All the best, Mom!

Let her grow old

Three cheers for her

I'm glad you got

to know each other.

Lenka doesn't know

anyone here yet.

Nobody lives here.

How's your papa?

Good. Hanging in there.

Can I sleep here?

Well...

Well, if you guys want her to.

Today?

We'll have to ask

your papa first.

Nice cell phone.

Purple.

It was my mother's.

I inherited it.

Yeah, it's me.

The mother of my new friend

wants to ask you something.

Yeah, this is Christa

from house 10.

Yes, from Berlin.

So, your daughter

is here right now...

Good night.

- Good night.

- Sleep well.

Sleep well.

If anything's wrong, come wake us up.

No matter what it is.

Could you maybe sing me

a lullaby?

Did your mama

sing to you at night?

I have to warn you,

I'm not such a good singer.

Doesn't matter.

Good evening, good night

Covered with roses

Adorned with cloves

Slip under the covers

Tomorrow morning, if God wills

You'll wake once again

Tomorrow morning, if God wills

You'll wake once again

Alma, let it go.

Alma, don't!

Work accident.

Work accident.

Work accident.

If you say a word

too many times,

it loses its meaning.

Fritz had a work accident.

Work accident.

Are they gonna take off

his other leg as well?

They're phantom pains.

The doctor said

this could happen.

Now it stopped.

No.

He's silent because they put

a stick between his teeth.

If you listen closely,

you can still hear

his whining.

Hear it?

Funny how something can hurt

that's no longer there.

Warm.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Go back to sleep.

Were you at Uncle Fritz's again?

Mom knows things

she shouldn't even remember,

because she wasn't even there

when they happened.

She remembers, for example,

that her sister Erika

always stole Uncle Fritz's crutches

to see if she could walk

with just one leg.

But if you ask her where she was

when all these things happened,

she doesn't remember.

Maybe because you only ever

see others from the outside

but never yourself.

Weirdo.

Did you go to Gl?wisch?

How did you get back?

Hitchhiking.

And who drove you?

Your father.

Was he at the disco, too?

No.

But?

He drove by

while I was leaving.

Rainer!

You're my cousin.

But my father being your uncle

doesn't bother you?

What?

Everyone knows

you let him bang you.

We always say,

your actions are what count.

A person is what they do.

I don't believe that.

I think you are

where you actually are,

while doing something.

When I was with a friend,

it didn't take long

for everyone to say

I spoke just like them.

I even had to adopt

things I didn't like:

the high-pitched laugh,

the kind of emphasis...

I didn't set out to do it.

My body somehow did it on its own.

Dad sometimes said

that it was enough.

I should

be myself again.

But being myself again?

My body couldn't manage that

on its own.

Then I became dizzy

because I was trying

to remember how I speak.

So I said my name in succession

until it seemed foreign to me.

Then I imagined

seeing myself through Dad's eyes

and played the person

he must envision when he says

I should be myself again.

How long can you act happy

without anyone noticing?

Work accident.

It's been like this for days.

Suddenly,

Mother could no longer walk.

The doctor couldn't explain it, either.

Said she was perfectly healthy

and shouldn't make a fuss.

Mother did her best,

but it was no use.

Her legs no longer obeyed her.

The doctor prescribed bed rest.

In the evenings,

we prayed to God

that Mother would soon

be able to walk again.

Alma, where are you?

Come out, you've won!

Alma, are you around here?

Right here! I'm right here!

Alma, that's not funny. Come out.

Here, I'm in the tree, Lia!

Look up!

She's vanished.

Here I am! Here!

Can you see her?

No. Looks like she's gone.

Here I am, Lia!

I'm here!

Help!

Lia! Gerti!

Here I am! Here!

Here in the tree!

I'm here!

Lia!

Alma?

How you can tell

if you're alive or dead?

I got such a high temperature,

they wanted to call the doctor.

He wouldn't have known

anything anyway.

Trudi put her hand

on my forehead,

like she does to calm the cows

when they have a calf.

She spent the whole night

by my side.

Mother initially resisted

when everyone said

Trudi should put a hand on her, too.

But in the end,

she let it happen.

I'm sure that's why

she was able to walk again soon.

The thing with Fritz

was more complicated.

Trudi couldn't just

conjure up his leg again.

Hedda was sure

that the dogs

had long since eaten it.

But she was able

to ease the phantom pain.

She put her hand

on Fritz's center.

He calmed down

and moaned much more quietly.

With fat Berta,

it was easy for the men.

She couldn't have children

by nature.

Trudi wasn't so lucky.

She first had to be

'made safe for the men.'

As a maid,

you had to be quick

and hard-working and not miss work

because you had a bun in the oven.

I don't know exactly

how they made Trudi

become like fat Berta for good.

But right after

Trudi arrived here,

she had to go away

for a few days.

It must've been then.

When she came back,

the male servants

lined up at her door at night.

I don't know if they put

a potato sack over her.

She wasn't any prettier

than before, thought Gerti.

She looked as if

she'd been plopped down on earth

and didn't know

what to do with herself.

Trudi once said

Fritz's life was entirely in vain.

I think Trudi also lived in vain.

Maybe that's why

she looked after him:

so that it wasn't so lonely,

living in vain.

And?

I don't know.

Let me try.

And? Is the fly still inside?

I hear something.

The last one will be dragged

into the realm of the dead!

The last one will be dragged

into the realm of the dead!

Alma had been waiting all summer

to drop dead or not wake up.

But somehow

God must've forgotten her.

Instead, he took me.

I might still be alive if Alma

had been the last one through.

Alma still wasn't dead

by summer's end.

But our great-grandmother.

And then suddenly, me too.

Don't cry.

It wasn't for real.

Alma thought great-grandmother

was the only person who wouldn't die.

As if dying wouldn't suit her,

because she was so afraid of it.

Then her time had come.

She simply toppled over one night

on her way to the outhouse.

She must've had

urgent business to attend to.

Hedda laughed and said

she must've been scared shitless

when she realized

the end was near.

She had already

pulled up her robe

so it would go quicker

when she got there.

But she never arrived.

Father said

it was the only time

he had ever seen

his grandmother's bare bottom.

And just like that,

it was the same with her

as with the other people

who died.

The window was opened

to let the soul out.

The clocks were stopped.

Stones against the evil eye.

HERE I LIE AND MUST DECAY

So that no flies crawl in.

So the good Lord believes

she was a believer.

Twice a day,

the village's woman of the dead came

to wash the body.

But because

our woman of the dead

had passed away

two weeks earlier in childbirth,

Trudi had to take over.

Vinegar rags and nettles

are placed on the face of the dead.

I remember

that at the end of the wake,

her hands were

full of welts.

And lead us not into temptation

But deliver us from evil

For Thine is the kingdom,

and the power, and the glory...

We pray

that she won't have

to meet her mother again.

Whenever I try

to imagine her face,

it's all a blur.

As if I hadn't been able

to memorize it,

though I saw her so often.

But I still remember exactly

what her hands looked like.

And the expression

when she was dead.

Maybe because she never

looked like that in her life.

She looked somehow astonished.

Trudi said she looked like that

because she realized she was dying.

But to me, it looked like

she was seeing something

she had never expected.

Hedda thinks

she may be reborn in Africa.

Father said, then as a fly.

At least he never k*lled another one.

Warm.

Mom never talked about

how her sister Erika died.

I knew it anyway.

Mom's uncle once told me.

I got to meet him once.

He visited us on the farm:

Uncle Fritz

with his wooden leg.

Told me to knock on it.

Brings good luck, he said.

ATTENTION:

INTRA-GERMAN BORDER

Erika went into the river,

like many women

when the w*r was over.

They had heard what happened

to women in the other villages.

They feared what might come

more than they feared death.

Mom gave Erika

a pinky promise.

But when she was underwater,

the eels swam up

and nipped at her.

She wasn't the only one

to come back out of the river.

She was still ashamed

of not having gone all the way.

Sometimes I think

Mom is still underwater with Erika.

Lia!

I remember Nelly

wanting to come with us.

I didn't allow it

because I didn't want her there.

I remember thinking

that my life was in vain,

because I hadn't taken strawberry

like Kaya,

but rather vanilla.

I believe

it was that summer

I began to think:

if I were someone else,

I'd be happier.

I was even jealous

of the misfortune of others.

Even that Kaya's mother had died.

I wished something like that

would happen to me

so I could become like her.

Today I think:

If only I hadn't thought

at that moment that my life was over

just because I took vanilla

and not strawberry.

How did your mother actually die?

Lung cancer.

Why do you smoke, then?

Everyone dies of something.

You, too.

Were you there

when your mother died?

Come on, let's go swimming.

Come on!

Maybe we'll drown!

Kaya?

If I want to lift my leg,

I can do it.

And if I want to lift my arm,

I can lift it.

But when I command my heart

to stand still,

then it doesn't.

It just keeps on beating.

Maybe I'm not deciding

hard enough

just in case it does obey.

Would it stop beating now,

if I really, really wanted it?

Now.

Now.

Now.

Now.

When in reality

you see everything upside down,

maybe in reality

everything is the other way around.

Actually,

you can then simply decide

that what's bad

is really good.

After the solstice, Lia starts

working as a maid on my farm.

Good.

Then it's a done deal.

You take care

of the women's business.

I knew it:

You're a chicken.

- Come here!

- Angelika, come here! Rainer!

There! Stand still, stand still!

That's good.

Yes, that's good. Closer.

Angelika, to the right.

- Let's get together.

- Rainer, suck in your gut.

Now I'm curious

about the miracle machine.

- The miracle machine.

- Unbelievable.

What does the little birdie say?

- And now you can see the photo?

- Madness. Now just shake it?

- Shake, shake.

- Wait a minute.

Now I'm curious.

There's nothing to see yet.

If anyone said that's possible,

we would've called them crazy.

But I look fat on it.

But Angelika looks like a ghost.

She's gone again.

- But I'm not that fat. Look.

- Of course you are.

So, the camera is...

We looked for her for weeks,

but she was simply gone.

At some point, they said

she had swum across to West Germany.

Not a word was spoken

about her at home.

I never saw her again.

Sometimes I think

she was just in my head,

and never really existed.

Angelika.

I remember taking off

my soaking wet T-shirt,

because it was sticking

to my body so much.

Only later did I realize

I was the only one running around

topless and in panties.

I remember

the smell of wet grass.

And this look

from my parents' friend.

I can't even remember his name.

I know he realized

I'd seen the look in his eyes.

I can still feel myself blushing

and would've loved

to cross my arms in front of me.

But that would've been

too obvious.

When I pretended

not to notice his gaze, it was

as if I was sharing

a secret with him

that I didn't want to share.

Lia!

It rained a lot that summer.

We lost an entire harvest.

The neighboring farmer

reimbursed us

for half of the lost grain.

In return,

he asked Lia to be his maid.

After the solstice,

she left us and went to him.

Before that, she had to see Elli,

just like Trudi back then.

She couldn't start working

for him for three weeks

because she almost

bled to death.

Later, they asked me what had

happened to Lia in the field.

I said: a work accident.

50, 49...

When I try to remember

that one summer,

I always wonder

what Nelly saw last.

And whether

I should've noticed anything.

I think Nelly was playing "w*r"

with the other children.

They sat by the fire,

pretending to

eat rats and frogs' legs.

But I only remember this girl

that I met at the river.

I think her name was Kaya.

We listened to one song

all summer,

her mother's favorite.

Want a popsicle?

Strawberry or vanilla?

Strawberry.

Here you go.

- And you? Vanilla, as always?

- I'll take strawberry.

Strawberry.

Thanks.

I want strawberry, too.

Oh, man, sorry, sweetie.

Only vanilla's left.

We can swap.

You're it!