01x09 - Deux

[bunniefuu]

Today is the day of the Year 7
school trip

to Forley Agricultural museum.

And Joe Connolly is certain...

- Bye Mum!
- ..It will be the best day ever!

Joe has been waiting for this
since his first day

and now it is finally here.

It's here!

Si Rich says they've got
the oldest flour mill

in the whole county.

Woah!

Plus, you can buy a baby sheep

from the gift shop!

- You cannot buy a baby sheep.
- Wanna bet?

He can barely contain his
excitement.

- In 45 minutes they'll arrive--
- Permission slip!

Oh no.

Bye Mum!

Waazzuuppp?!

Today, Joe's class consists

of those who forgot
their permission slips.

- Joe Connolly?
- Yes, sir.

And those untrusted
outside school grounds.

Aaron Keedwell?

Can fit an entire can
in his mouth.

Upright.

- Yeah, sir.
- Eisha Khela?

Pushed Jolanda over in hockey,
she got seven stitches.

- Yes, sir.
- Laura Hubbert?

Once made John Longmore cry.
And...

Lily Scott?

Lily Scott.
She and Joe had shared

around 9 words and 3 texts.

Ever since,
Joe had longed for more.

And now, here she was.

- Ow!
- Dodo!

Uhhhhh!

Today is the day Joe Connolly
and Lily Scott

will have a real conversation.

They would fall in love.
Get married.

Adopt two Bichon Frise puppies

and live in a bungalow
with a robot butler.

Claudia, fetch us
some Jaffa cakes.

I shall not fail you, madam.

By the time
robot butler turns on them,

there will be nothing
they can't handle together.

Stay here,
Doris and Fluff Daddy.

Time to take out the recycling.

Lily Scott is
the loveliest girl in the world

and no one had ever told her.

Joe would tell her.

Uhhhm. Uhhhh.

Uhhhm. Uhhh.

Despite his best efforts,
Joe Connolly is incapable

of producing even a single word.

Joe?

Mustering every ounce

of courage he possesses,

Joe Connolly
knows exactly what to do.

Joe Connolly has been
in the cupboard

for exactly 19 minutes
and 40 seconds.

There is absolutely no reason
for him to be there.

Joe?

Are you OK?

One word.
Joe Connolly needs

to say something, anything.

- Uhhh.
- But he can't.

OK then...

If Joe never talks,
then he and Lily

would never fall in love.

He'd have to watch
as she found a suitable husband.

I do ... Hitesh!

Not Hitesh!

And when his robot butler
turns against him,

he won't even have
a Bichon Frise to protect him.

Good girl, Doris!

Joe Connolly has a plan.

Away from all distractions,

away from the pressures of
people watching, Joe would

meet Lily on the field and have
a conversation with her.

The moment is right.

And Joe Connolly is ready.

Swallowing his fear,
he clears his throat and--

Joe and Lily
sitting in a tree!

Aaron!

K-I-G... I...S-S-I-N-G!

- Aaron shut up!
- He loves you!

- Joe loves Lily.
- No, I don't!

- Joe loves Lily.
- No, I don't!

I don't! I don't!
I don't even like her!

Joe loves...

Uh. I... uhhhh.

For your final lesson,
Fron-says.

Bonjourno class!

Joe Connolly has come
to a crushing conclusion.

His life is over.

Lily Scott is the only girl

in the world
he would ever like.

And now he will never talk--

Lily Scott. Joe Connolly.

Come up to the front please.

OK! So, have a conversation.
In French! Vamos!

I... uh...

As Joe stands under
the spotlight, unable to

find words for the third time
something becomes clear.

It no longer mattered
what Joe said to Lily.

They would never own a bungalow
or a robot butler.

Bonjour!

Joe Connolly has said one word

but he realises
he may need much more than that.

I... I don't know
what to say, sir.

Oh for... It doesn't matter what
you say, just say something.

I...

I'm sorry!

In French.

Oh, uh... oui monsieur!

Um, croissant?

Umm.

[ Lily!

- Now you respond.
- Baguette?

Le table?

Just like that Joe Connolly

finds himself talking
to Lily Scott.

Je... je mange.

Un Eurostar?

Uhhh, le weekend?

Shampoo?

Le football.

J'aime faire du windsurf!

Wunderbar, wunderbar!

Thank goodness for that.

The school day
is officially over

and Joe walks
alongside Lily Scott,

stomach full of butterflies.

He has one final
burning question to ask her.

What's your favourite dinosaur?

Immediately Joe regrets
asking such a stupid--

Pterodactyl.
Definitely pterodactyl!

Alright you muppet!

Mate, you missed out
on so much today!

Hi Lily! Oh my gosh!
Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!

You have GOT to see
what happened to Steve Malek

on the coach today.

Lucy videoed the whole thing.

Go on Lucy, show her.
It's hilarious!

Look!

Just like that, all too soon,
normality resumes.

And then Roxy Brunswick

patted him on the shoulder
to say "you're nice".

How was it in school?

Good.

Why are you
staring at those girls?

I'm not. You are!

No I'm not!

I don't get it,
you said your dad signed it?

Uh... Oh my gosh!

Is that Ruby Jeffreys
kissing Si Rich?