01x04 - Genie in a Bong

[bunniefuu]

WEBVTT

[funky intro music]

[gentle music]

[Jeremy yawning]

[gentle music continues]

[both chuckling]

Oh, morning.

I'm gonna go hop in the shower.

[Daniel laughing]

After the go-go boy, we
started talking again.

- You know, texting and
stuff. - Mmh.

Then last night
I couldn't sleep.

And he was up.

So, he came over.

To talk.

Yeah, I heard you guys talking,

and then again at 4:00
a.m, and then again at 6:00 a.m.

Sorry.

Hell, at least one of
us is getting laid.

Thing is, I think it might be
more than just getting laid.

Are you guys getting
back together?

Not sure, Harold thought maybe

we could take a
drive to Ventura,

stay in an Airbnb overnight,

talk things out.

When are you thinking?

Was gonna say yes tonight
so, tomorrow morning?

He's making you act spontaneous.

I always did like Harold.

Thanks, buddy.

Do not f*ck in
that shower.

I bathe in that shower.

[upbeat music]

I can't tell you how
much I appreciate this.

Not a problem, who
doesn't like helping

their ex-girlfriend move?

So how good was
the demon hunting?

You know, not bad.

Like for the first
time maybe in ever,

I feel like I'm where
I'm supposed to be.

You know, like where
I'm really needed.

Oh God.

Umh.

Hello?

What is this?

That was an amazing
yard sale find.

[Quinn scoffing]

Really?

But it's so beautiful,
like in an art way.

- I know, right.
- [Nat laughing]

This lady basically
begged me to take it.

You wanna take a break
from this, and test her out?

I thought you had private
eye duty later today.

Not today.

Just you, me, the boxes,

and this pretty lady.

[both laughing]

For old time sake?

Well, if it was like old times,

then smoking would lead
us to getting naked, so.

[awkward music]

That was weird, I don't...

Look, I don't know
why I said that.

I should go.

Nat.

No, it's a work thing.

I told the guys that we
work on marketing today.

And you know, they're
lost without me.

So, I'll see you later.

[sad music]

Was there something we
were supposed to do today?

Something with Nat.

Umh, nothing
comes to mind.

[video game characters grunting]

Cheap shot.

Don't blame me if you
fight like a noob.

[lighter clicking]

[Quinn inhaling deeply]

[mystical music]

I'm gonna head out soon.

I thought you were saying
that wasn't for a few hours.

It's not, I like
to get there early.

Have time to prepare.

Now, that's what we
call a good work ethic.

[Jeremy screaming]

Sorry.

I always forget what
your uniform looks like.

You okay?

- [eerie music]
- Yeah.

I'm just thinking
about my last reading,

was with this guy who
only wanted to connect

with his dead father
spirit so he could grill him

on why he didn't get
more inheritance.

I swear, if you ever wanna
lose faith in all humanity,

try being a telepath for a day.

Oh sh*t, is this
Super Destroy sibling?

Can I get in on this?

[Jeremy laughing]

Ready player three, bro.

[mystical music]

Whoa!

What just happened?

It is I,

Yara, the gen

The magical immortal
enchantress from the ancient
world,

and realms unknown
to gods and mortals.

Here to heed your summons.

[slow melancholic music]

Want a hit?

Yeah, Okay.

[Nat] Seriously,
what the f*ck guys?

Hey Nat.

What's up.

Guys, she's pissed.

Are you not supposed to
be working on marketing?

[tense music]

One thing, one thing guys.

And you didn't even
have to do anything.

You just have to think
about doing stuff.

We were doing important things.

[Nat] Like what?

Honing our hand-eye
coordination for fighting
monsters.

[Daniel] It counts as training.

f*ck sake.

Guys, we're trying to get
this business off the ground.

We need to be building
a base and reaching out

to past clients for
references and updating the
website,

and debugging the app.

[Nat exhaling sharply]

Who am I kidding?

I can't manage a business, I
can't even manage my own life.

Is everything okay?

[inaudible] everything
is not okay.

I just came from helping Quinn
move into her new apartment.

As in your ex-girlfriend Quinn?

She asked me if I wanted
to get high, like old times.

But it's not like old
times anymore, is it?

Because we are not
together anymore.

And she has this cool
new place and a new job,

and a new life, and this
really nice new bong,

which I totally
would've smoked out of.

Maybe I should text her

and apologize for
leaving so quickly.

[suspenseful beat]

f*ck!

My phone.

[gentle melancholic music]

[Yara coughing]

[gentle melancholic music]

So you're?

A gen.

Like a genie?

No. Well,

it's been bastardized as
genie in your language.

But I'm an all powerful
being trapped in...

what do you call it?

A bong.

Bong?

Like the genie in Aladdin.

Well that's recreational
drugs I guess.

[Quinn chuckling softly]

[Yara laughing awkwardly]

I can't face her
again, not alone.

[Nat] Can you come with
me for moral support?

You think she'll smoke us up?

What?

I think it will help us
think more creatively

about marketing options.

Second it.

Fine.

Three wishes, huh?

Anything, your heart desires.

And then I returned to my vessel

until my next master summons me.

[suspenseful music]

You know, this whole
trapped in a bong thing,

sounds like a shitty deal.

It is what it is.

My ex lover, wicked
sorceress, cursed me.

And now I'm bound to
a life of servitude.

And if I ever break
free of this vessel,

I lose my powers,
become like you.

Mortal.

Yeah, I know what
it's like with exes.

Well, not the curse
part, at least.

Not that I know of.

I mean, she's cool, we're
trying to work it out,

but oh,

I just wish I could make
all that awkwardness go away.

- [Yara snapping fingers]
- [mystical music]

Your wish is granted.

Wait, what?

I'll make the
awkwardness disappear.

Once I find her, I will
erase it from existence.

No, No.

That's not what I want,
I want Nat in my life.

I'm the one who broke her heart
and she didn't deserve that.

I wish to un-wish
that last wish.

[Yara snapping fingers]

Your second wish is granted.

Disappointing as could be,
you have one final wish.

If I were you,
I'd make it count.

[doorbell chiming]

[Quinn shushing]

Act like everything's normal.

No wishes, no magic.

You're just my
incredibly hot neighbor,

stopping by to welcome
me to the building.

Jesus, I'm so high.

Nat!

Hi!

And guys...

This is my professional look.

Oh, sorry to come
by unannounced.

I just left my phone
here and I thought, hey,

"Why not help her unpack?"

Who's your friend?

Oh, Yara, Nat and the..

I don't remember your
names, I'm sorry.

The Demon Hunters.

Demon hunters?

You summon demon
hunters to slay me?

What? No.

I summoned a genie
from the bong.

Well, that's never good.

Okay, Everyone let's just
calm down and have a nice chat.

[lightning zapping]

[electricity humming]

[mystical tingling]

[suspenseful music]

So you're the ex lover?

[chanting indistinctly]

Yara stop, please.

- [ominous music]
- [lightening humming]

[Nat in foreign language]

[Nat grunting]

[mystical tingling]

[Nat choking]

[eerie music]

I think I'll
k*ll you last.

[Nat groaning]

[ominous music]

- [inaudible] the time.
- [Nat groaning]

But when did you
become such a bad-a*s?

Punching a genie, Damn!

How high are
you right now?

[electricity humming]

Wait, I have an idea.

[electricity humming]

Yara I'm ready
for my final wish.

I wish for you to be free
from your life of serv...

[Quinn mumbling]

Are you trying to say servitude?

[Yara snapping fingers]

[mystical tingling]

I'm, mortal.

I'm sorry.

Don't be.

Better free and mortal
than a magic sl*ve.

Why?

Why did you waste
your last wish on me?

Well, it worked in the movie?

And your old deal sucked.

You don't deserve what
your ex did to you.

You seem really cool.

Also, hot.

It's true, I am hot.

And I think maybe, there
could be something between us.

You do?

I was feeling that too.

You were?

Yes but, I didn't
want to say anything.

Oh my God. I was
afraid to say anything.

Is she seriously you
hauling with a demon right now?

I don't think I feel like
getting high anymore.

Wanna find a bar and get drunk?

Yap.

Mh-hmm

I could drink.

By the way, nice right hook.

Thanks.

Nope, you are totally
clear for third-rate.

f*cking better rate.

[upbeat music]

Actually, I still left my...

You don't care.

Okay, Bye.

[upbeat music]