01x01 - Who Hasn't F*cked a Demon?

[bunniefuu]

(doorbell ringing)

[Both] Hi.

Hey.

You guys are the, uh--

Demonhuntrs.

Yup.

Kyle, right?

Yeah.

Please come in.

Hey.

Hi.

(hip hop music)

You've been seeing the
apparition for how long?

About three weeks now.

Thanks for coming on such
short notice, by the way.

Not a problem.

Mind if we ask how you
heard about our app?

Oh, I saw it advertised on Instagram.

Are demons getting you down?

I'm Jeremy Irvine.

And I'm Daniel Barns.

And we're mediums.

That's right.

We can locate demons and ghosts

with the power of our brains

and drive 'em out of your home

at a fraction of the
cost of our competitors.

So don't bother with
overpriced ghost busters.

Go with...

[Both] Demonhuntrs!

(demon growling)

Excellent.

[Kyle] Mmm-hmm.

Where have you seen it the most?

Oh, out in the guest house.

Definitely in the, uh, the bedroom.

The bedroom?

(thunder clapping)

I guess the storm's finally here.

I love a rainy night.

Yeah?

Sometimes I like to
take off all my clothes

and run out into the rain naked.

It's the best feeling in the world.

Sorry.

Can I have a moment with my colleague?

Dude, what the hell?

Do you remember what happened last time

we answered one of these calls?

Yeah, Benjamin, you
cried like a little b*tch.

The one before that, numb nuts.

When the caller turned out
to be the actual demon,

trying to lure us in so
she could eat our souls?

I'm getting bad juju from this guy.

I don't know.

I've never met a demon with a six pack

you can see right through his tank top.

(groovy music)

Hey! (Snapping fingers)

Focus!

Here's what we're doin'.

You're going out back to investigate

and I'm staying down here with pretty boy.

But--

Because unlike you, I'm
immune to is masculine wiles.

Oh, so I'm going into the guest house

to face a potentially lethal demon alone?

Yep.

You were seduced by a demon
a couple of times, too, dude.

Yeah, but that was a lady demon,

and that does not appear
to be an issue here.

Fine.

Whatever.

But you're buying the first
round when we're done.

Deal.

Joke's on you.

Like I have any money.

So, Kyle, here's the plan.

Jeremy is gonna stay down here with you

while I go check out the guest house.

Are you sure that's safe?

Hey, we're professionals.

(thunder clapping)
(soft creepy music)

(water running)

Hey.

Hey.

Weren't you just...

Wasn't I just what?

In the main house?

(Kyle chuckling)

Well, how could I be in the main house

when I'm standing right here?

- That's a good point.
(groovy music)

Mmm.

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

Do you mind drying my back?

♪ Mmm-mmm-mmm ♪

♪ Ooo-hoo ♪

♪ Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Can't even find my senses ♪

♪ Can't breathe, can't
sleep, you're on my mind ♪

♪ You make me lose my self-control ♪

♪ Actin' crazy, can't unwind ♪

♪ Oh, I'm obsessed, I'm obsessed ♪

♪ I'm obsessed ♪

♪ It's all I can do to keep my head on ♪

♪ Can't think of anything but you ♪

Okay, this is (zipper
unzipping) happening.

♪ Oh, I'm obsessed ♪

♪ I'm obsessed ♪

♪ I'm obsessed ♪

Is he gonna be okay out there alone?

Yeah, yeah, he's fine.

He's a pro.

(soft dramatic music)

(thunder clapping)

Whoa.

That one was really close.

Yeah.

It was.

Hey, um.

What?

I don't know.

Something's different about you

that I like better.

How much better?

Um.

A lot.

[Woman] Good.

(kisses smacking)

(men grunting) (sirens wailing)

Do you hear that?

Do I hear what?

Oh, god, don't stop.

Oh, my god.

Oh!

(sirens wailing) (groovy music)

Hey, come on.

Stay with me.

Look at me, look at me.

(sirens wailing) (groovy music)

(men grunting)

(sirens wailing) (groovy music)

Siren.

[Kyle] What'd you say?

Sirens.

You're a...

(demon growling)

Put your d*ck away, dude.

It's a siren nest.

Wow, thank you.

Thank you for that
extremely timely insight.

Dude, where did she go?

Great.

Ah.

Okay, so.

We got two options.

We can head for the door or

we stay and we k*ll two demons.

There's no actual human victim,

which means we're not
getting paid for this.

Then the door it is.

(doorknob rattling)

The f*ck?

Oh, great.

Sirens!

Uh.

They're the ones that magically seal

their victims in their lair, aren't they?

So they can play with
their food before eating.

(soft dramatic music)

(both sighing)

(thunder clapping)

Awesome.

(soft dramatic music)

Oh, well, at least the lights came back

on.

(dramatic music)

(Daniel grunting)

(punch smacking)

(kick thudding)
(Daniel grunting)

(Jeremy grunting)

(punches smacking)

(kicks thudding)

(Daniel grunting)

(Jeremy grunting)

(kick thudding) Ah!

(kicks thudding)
(Daniel grunting)

(demon growling)

(punches smacking)
(Daniel grunting)

(kicks thudding)
(Daniel grunting)

(kicks thudding)
(Jeremy grunting)

(punches smacking)
(Daniel grunting)

(kick thudding)
(Jeremy grunting)

(dramatic music)

(demon screaming)
(blades clinking)

(demon screaming)

Man, sirens.

Haven't seen those in awhile.

I told you.

Couldn't be trusted with that dude.

You looked like you were
having a pretty good time

yourself back there, Romeo.

I mean.

But that's it.

No more cases with hot
chicks or hot dudes.

Besides me, of course.

Just causes trouble.

(dramatic string music)

[Daniel] Hi.

Are you the demon hunters?

I need your help.

We'll do it.

(dramatic music)