01x02 - Love Is a Mystery

[bunniefuu]

(WAVES CRASHING)

I kissed Walter.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

- Oh, my god!

- (BOTH LAUGH)

Tell me everything.

Okay. I was feeling down, so I

did what my dad always says to do

and I went to the ocean.

And Walter was just there. Like he knew.

- No.

- Yes.

And we talked,

and then he leaned

in, and he was

chewing sweet mint gum.

Or maybe it was winter mint.

It's hard to tell with all that xylitol,

sorbitol and aspartame, and then

Wow, all that, and with a

guy who can afford to buy gum.

(SOFT CHUCKLE)

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

What's up, dudes?

Dudes?

Honestly, even "ma'am"

would have been better.

BRIAN: I have an announcement.

I just got my first chest hair.

I'm a man now.

- There?

- No, that's a Pop-Tart crumb.

There it is, I think.

Yes! No. Yes! (CLICKS TONGUE)

- Aw.

- Hm.

Chest hair and make-outs

- in the same 24-hour period.

- (CLARA LAUGHS)

Can't believe you guys are still

talking about Lahela and Walter.

It's, like, so what?

I've kissed 45 girls.

- Forty-five?

- Forty-five.

- CLARA: Oh.

- You sound impressed.

Well, I'm not "not impressed".

I mean, this is an island.

(GASPS)

"Dudes"?

What is happening?

You just need to just

chill out and read his vibe.

(LAHELA SIGHS) I'm a busy doctor.

I don't have time to read his vibe.

You know what?

I'm just gonna swim out

there right now and ask him.

No!

You might not know this because

you finished high school at seven,

but you can't just ask a

teen boy what he's thinking.

Why not?

It's literally never been done

before. Who knows what would happen.

My gut tells me I should

just go talk to him.

My gut tells me to hide

under your brother's bed,

pop out in the middle of the

night and confess my love.

But I don't, because your mom

told me not to do it anymore.

So this is it.

I just have to live my life not knowing.

You know, you could post a video

on TikTok and see what he comments.

So inexact, so basic.

Whatever Walter replies

will show you how he feels.

(SLOW MUSIC)

I've never wanted to be a towel before.

I think I just got pregnant.

I'm gonna make that video.

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

(CELL PHONE BEEPS)

(THEME MUSIC)

(TRANQUIL MUSIC)

What would you like the card to say?

I don't know. "Happy Anniversary"?

Or

"My love, every day, I

marvel that I have the honor

of being on this planet

at the same time as you.

I love you."

How's that?

Sure.

Can you imagine not knowing

what to say to your partner?

One time I didn't know what to say,

but I picked up my ukulele and

ultimately conveyed it with my hips.

(BENNY LAUGHS)

Now that I'm a man, I've

been taking notes on romance.

If you want notes on romance,

it's kind of my specialty.

Back in the day,

I used to go out to a club

and get onto the dance floor.

Forget it. The ladies

love a man who can dance.

- But then what happened?

- What do you mean, "what happened"?

Well, you don't have moves now.

You say, "Here we go,"

whenever you get off the couch.

I have moves.

Ask Mom. She thinks I'm romantic.

To her, I'm still Benny

Ke Ali'i oke Aloha.

The King of Romance!

How do you say "the King of Chest Hair"?

Keil li.

Keil li hi.

We just picked him up from his

hotel, paralyzed from the waist down.

- Pool accident?

- PARAMEDIC: Not this time.

I can't move my legs.

A few minutes ago, I

could still move my legs.

- Hi, what's your name?

- Caleb.

- Can you tell me what happened today?

- Nothing.

What?

I came here to hike Stairway to Heaven.

I was walking to the hotel

elevator to pick up some gear,

and then my legs just stopped working.

- Have you fallen recently?

- No, I'm telling you, normal day.

Okay, this nurse is gonna check

your vitals and we'll be right back.

Let's get him in for an MRI immediately.

- MRI machine's out.

- What?

A claustrophobic

guy kicked it last

night, and it's still

being serviced.

(SIGHS) Okay, well, in the meantime,

I need an initial workup of

LP, CBC, and electrolytes.

Let's get his copper, vitamin

B12, and vitamin E levels, too.

CALEB: Doctor. Hey, doctor.

I'm gonna be able to walk again, right?

I'm gonna do everything I can for you.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(TRANQUIL MUSIC)

(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)

(LAHELA SIGHS)

Sorry, I'm late.

My mom has a date tonight,

so we were waxing her legs.

She must really like him,

'cause we did both sides.

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

Oh, my god. Walter finally commented.

What is it? Show mama.

A caterpillar?

What does that mean? Does

Walter like me or not?

Listen, translating

emojis is my life's work.

That, and perfecting my moves.

But a caterpillar emoji?

No clue.

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

Hey, Mom, you're not gonna

believe what happened.

My chest hair thickened.

Because you drew on it with a Sharpie.

And Dad told us that people used

to call him "The King of Romance".

BRIAN: Our dad! This guy!

Benny Kamealoha!

Well he was.

Was?

You should have seen

your dad back in our 20s.

Oh, we would go out to the club

and I would have to chase all the

girls away in my tube top saying,

"Hey, like, get back, shoo,

scram. I will follow you home

and I will hurt you."

(GASPS) I just realized,

you guys have never

seen him do "the song".

Okay, you know that

Nelly song, Hot in Herre?

CLARA: Come on, Benny.

Show the boys what you're working with.

So baby tell me what's the use ♪

- Ooh!

- I said, It's gettin' hot in herre ♪

- Ooh.

- So take off all your clothes ♪

- BENNY: Ooh!

- (LAUGHS)

Oh, there it is. Yes.

- KAI: Go, Dad, go.

- I knew I got it from somewhere.

Man, your dad was the smoothest.

Once again, I'm hearing "was".

CLARA: Always knew what

to say and what to do.

He was just so thoughtful and so suave.

Not loving the amount of

past tense I'm hearing.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

(TRANQUIL MUSIC)

How are you feeling today, Caleb?

I still can't walk. (SIGHS)

I just want to ask you

a few more questions.

We've been over your medical history,

but we're at the point

where it would be helpful

to ask your family members

about their medical histories.

Any history of autoimmune diseases,

like lupus or myasthenia

gravis, rheumatoid arthritis,

- or multiple sclerosis

- I just don't understand.

Yesterday, I was preparing

for the hike of a lifetime,

and today, I can't even walk.

I might be leaving this

hospital in a wheelchair.

And I don't know why.

Caleb, hopefully, we

will have answers soon.

(SIGHS)

Now, I'm so sorry, but I just

have a few more questions.

LAHELA: This case is driving me crazy.

The tests keep coming back clean.

I mean, I feel so far from a diagnosis.

Girl, if anyone can

figure it out, it's you.

Your brain is basically a computer.

I'm just a fast reader.

I mean, what is life?

One day, you're walking and

then suddenly, you can't.

One day you're making out

with someone on the beach

and then, they're sending

you the world's worst emoji.

I mean, what the crap?

Uh, can we circle back to the

making out on the beach part?

Please circle back.

Hey, any update on the case?

I heard you up all night working on it.

Yeah, I mean, I have to crack this.

Well, don't forget, the best

way to get a definitive answer

is to go back to one of the

building blocks of medicine,

the scientific method.

You can apply it to almost any question.

LAHELA: Exactly.

The scientific method.

His progressive weakness and

lack of lower extremity reflexes

makes me think it's

Guillain-Barre Syndrome.

But since I'm not a neurologist,

I really appreciate you

looking into this case.

I agree with the full neuro work-up.

The CSF protein isn't high like

you'd expect with Guillain-Barre,

but that doesn't rule it out.

I'll perform nerve

conduction studies right now.

And report back to you, and

let you know what I find.

Thank you, Dr. Tukushi. He's in

327. Again, I really appreciate it.

Oh, my pleasure.

Oh, excuse me, I gotta

run to my ten o'clock.

Okay.

Thank you for joining me today

as I present my findings on

applying the scientific method

to the query, "Does Walter like me?"

(APPLAUSE)

Hey, can you rent this

room out for the hour?

My improv team is always

looking for a place to practice.

No, this is a hospital.

So I did a deep dive

into Walter's socials

and his use of the

caterpillar emoji

Positive, although he did use

it on his mom's Instagram once.

In your defense, she is hot.

My next data point,

body language analysis

from candid shots my mom

took before the dance.

- Oh.

- His leaning stance suggests interest

based on a study published

in the Journal of

Nonverbal Communication.

Great. So for the non-doctors

in the room, he likes you.

I hope so.

But all my evidence

is circumstantial.

I wish I had some

hard data, his DNA.

Then I could run some tests,

vis a vis, the science of attraction

- and maybe I could

- (DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Steph?

Yeah, we go straight up

there, right? Then we come

What the

I don't wanna know how you

got this, but thank you.

Oh girl, we haven't even scratched

the surface on my creep ability.

This proves that Walter

and I have dissimilar DNA,

which was a key factor

in a study where

I'm good.

Okay, well, my point is, the

science supports my hypothesis.

Walter likes me. (SOFT CHUCKLE)

Now, I just need to prove it

by replicating the findings and

getting Walter to kiss me again.

Well, slap on some

ChapStick and go get it.

I have to set up the perfect date.

I'm thinking the beach. That's

where we had our first kiss.

Ooh, string lights, hurricane candles,

beachy pillows, soft blankets,

maybe some live music.

- It'll be amazing.

- (CHUCKLES)

- For science.

- For science.

- Science! Science! Science!

- Science! Science! Science!

- DR. LEE: Hey.

- BOTH: Science! Science!

Can you guys get out of

here? It's my Xbox time.

DR. LEE: Go, go, go.

Hey.

I thought we'd have a

romantic night tonight,

just you and me, baby.

This candle is not the only

thing that got waxed today.

First course of the night,

smooth jazz and some filet mignon.

- Oh, thanks babe.

- Mm-mm.

Mmm. (MUNCHING) It's good.

- So how was work?

- Mmm. Mmm.

Any update on the

Gail-Jim-Gary love triangle?

I still can't believe she's

dating two security guards.

Mmm.

Wow, honey, you're missing

a very romantic date.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I mean, be in the moment, take

in the sky, take in the moon.

I have a crazy job and three kids.

Catch up with you later, moon.

(CLARA LAUGHS)

sh**t. I gotta hop on a Zoom with

a gastroenterologist in Hamburg.

- (CLEARS THROAT)

- (SPEAKING GERMAN OVER LAPTOP)

Hallo! (CHUCKLES)

(LIGHT MUSIC)

Lookin' good, girl.

All right, I'm gonna prove that

hypothesis, once and for all.

These lippies are

getting some action.

And you're all

set at the beach.

You got the blankets, the lighting.

And don't worry, I dragged

away that dead shark.

I can't do anything

about the smell, though.

Now, go get him!

Okay!

(WAVES CRASHING)

So, how was school today?

Kind of a mixed bag.

We had a pop quiz in Spanish

class, which was no bueno,

but then, we had a fire

drill, so we got to go outside.

You know, I’ve

never really asked,

what's it like being

a 16-year-old doctor?

Well, I love being a physician.

But, I mean, I can't really

compare my life to anything else.

This is the only 16 I know.

You know, I get that.

People always

ask if it's weird to

be raised by my

mom and six aunties,

but it's all I've ever known.

Plus, now, I've memorized the

washing directions for Spanx, so

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

You know, I've been

meaning to ask you this.

What did the caterpillar

emoji on my TikTok mean?

Caterpillar?

Transformation challenge? Get it?

Ooh.

Whoa.

You like it?

Yeah.

Wait, who's that?

LAHELA: Just some casual live music.

(EXHALES)

Wow, this is all

Awesome, right?

(UKULELE STRUMS)

It's a perfect date.

So

(MAN SINGING) Ooh, oh, oh ♪

Ooh, oh, oh ♪

Ooh, oh, oh ♪

Sorry, Lahela,

I actually forgot I have to

write a paper on King Kamehameha.

Oh.

You know, my dad's totally

obsessed with King Kamehameha.

I could help you.

That's okay, but, um,

thanks for the fun hangs.

Yeah, totally.

So then, this is goodbye.

At least he didn't call you "dude".

("NOW I'M IN IT" BY HAIM PLAYING)

Looking in the

mirror again and again ♪

Wishing the reflection

would tell me… ♪

Hey, did I hear someone

singing out there?

Pretty dope.

Oh, glad I spent hundreds of dollars

so that my brother could have a

romantic evening with his surfboard.

KAI: Hey, this is the only

time we've had together all day.

Beach was blanket to

blanket with tourists.

I could barely get in the water.

Looking out, all I could see was this.

- "Look at me. I'm from Ohio!"

- (LAHELA CHUCKLES)

Why do they all do it like that?

No clue.

Even the most beginner surfers

from Hawaii sit on their boards,

waiting for their waves.

KAI: Guess it's 'cause we grew up

watching people do it the right way.

Wait.

Do that again.

- The dumb tourist thing?

- Yeah.

Cheesecake Factory. Go Packers!

Locking all the

doors to my house ♪

I'm alone in my head ♪

But I wish you were in my bed ♪

Can't get a read on myself ♪

Gotta change this situation ♪

Something in the way

that I felt when I woke up ♪

Told me that I shouldn't

give in Give up hope ♪

Told me that shouldn't

fight what I felt ♪

Told me I should not let go ♪

'Cause now I'm in it ♪

But I've been trying to

find my way back for a minute ♪

Damn, I'm in it ♪

And I've been trying to

find my way back for a minute ♪

But I can't feel it, oh ♪

- Did you surf?

- What?

Before you were paralyzed, did you surf?

Yeah, the day before, but

it was just my first lesson.

- I didn't wipe out or anything

- It's surfer's myelopathy.

It's an extremely rare condition,

only about 50 cases worldwide.

And most of them happened

right here in Hawaii.

When the back's hyperextended,

a blood vessel leading to

the spine becomes kinked,

depriving the spinal cord of oxygen.

Hold up. Only 50 cases worldwide?

Wow, Lahela. I'm

That's a tough diagnosis.

How did you figure it out?

I just read all 578 patient reports

of spinal cord injuries ever

treated in this hospital.

- You just read all of that?

- What?

Yeah. And found this guy in

2008, and then 2003, and more.

Surfing lessons mentioned

in almost all of them.

Here I was, thinking Caleb

might have Guillain-Barre,

turns out it was a spinal stroke.

Excuse me. I want a spinal

angio with intra-arterial tPA,

start methylprednisolone

- and up his IV fluids.

- Yes, doctor.

I'm gonna induce hypertension to

improve blood flow to his spine.

Really?

- What does that mean?

- (SIGHS)

It's like if your phone

battery was really low,

and you found a really fast charger.

I'm gonna do that, with

oxygen and your spine.

(SHARP EXHALE)

(NOELANI CHUCKLES)

(TRANQUIL MUSIC)

(WAVES CRASHING)

No. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

(BRIAN BREATHES HEAVILY)

What are you doing?

I lost my manhood. My chest

hair is gone. Help me find it.

Can't. Dad actually inspired me to

sign up for a hip-hop dance class.

Okay. If I were a chest

hair, where would I be?

Not on your chest.

BRIAN: No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

Good morning, Caleb. How

has treatment been going?

Check this out.

(INHALES)

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

- Oh, my god.

- (CALEB CHUCKLES)

You're walking!

Look at you! Go, Caleb!

(APPLAUSE).

Thank you, Dr. Kamealoha.

Oh, you're welcome. Really.

It's so good to see you up and about.

And I'm hopeful you will

make a full recovery.

So when physical

therapy clears you,

you can hike, climb

Stairway to Heaven,

maybe even take a second surf lesson.

Oh, one was enough.

Hey, I'm so happy

to be on my feet

again, I may just

keep walking for a bit.

Might as well see

Hawaii out of these

hospital windows

while I'm here, right?

Just take it slow.

Thanks again, Doctor.

(LIGHT MUSIC)

Lahela, you cracked it.

(CLARA CHUCKLES)

CLARA: This is amazing.

We're getting a shave ice

to celebrate. (SOFT CHUCKLE)

I feel like I'm doing

really great as a doctor,

but sucking everywhere else.

Oh, I know that feeling.

I just wish relationships

were more like science.

Oh, yes, that's my kid.

Science is clean.

- It's easy.

- Linear.

Like nucleotides linked into chains.

Yes.

I don't get it. I

thought Walter liked me.

But I set up this whole

romantic night and

he didn't even care.

Well, maybe you should just talk to him.

That's what I said.

Plus, you may be half me,

but you're also half your dad,

who's the most romantic

guy I've ever met.

And I'm gonna make sure he knows that.

Ew.

No one wants to hear

about mom-dad love.

Yeah, I know right. Wait.

I said ♪

It's gettin' hot in herre ♪

So take off all your clothes ♪

I am gettin' so hot I

wanna take my clothes off ♪

Come on, give me some of

that Benny Ke Ali'i oke Aloha.

Nope. Can't.

I gotta prep for a flower

Zoom with a dude in Austria.

(SCOFFS)

(MUSIC STOPS)

(SIGHS) I'm sorry.

But, babe, next time you're on

a date with me, just let me know.

Okay?

I love you.

I know.

I just don't want to be

in one of those marriages

where some handsome,

strapping stranger

has to write my anniversary card

because I don't know

how to show you I care.

(CHUCKLES) You don't

have to worry about that.

I feel very loved, Benny.

Not just then, but now too.

- Good.

- Good.

Because you're actually

on a date right now.

- Oh, am I?

- (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS)

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, oh, oh. You're so smooth.

- That's sweet.

- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

- I like that move.

- You do.

(WAVES CRASHING)

(TRANQUIL MUSIC)

I wanted to ask you this days ago,

but I didn't because

I wanted to be

cool, but I'm not

cool, so here we go.

Um, hi.

Hi.

Do you like me or not?

What? Yes, of course, I do.

So then what was last night about?

Honestly, Lahela?

That whole scene was a lot, you know?

The lights, and the big

guy on the ukulele

It all just felt so out of my league.

I mean, you're out of my league.

I was nervous.

Wait. You were nervous?

Um, you don't remember

my weird high five?

'Cause it's all I've been

thinking about since it happened.

No, that's gonna be lodged in

my brain for a very long time.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Ooh, oh, oh ♪

LAHELA: So, it turns out,

love is life's big mystery.

It's not a science,

there's no math to it.

You have to show up, make mistakes,

live through the awkward moments.

Still thinking about that high five.

(SOFT CHUCKLE)

But it's worth it.

Love is this sloppy,

weird, confusing thing.

And I'm so ready to

try and figure it out.