01x05 - Carolla's Cup Car

[bunniefuu]

Come on, David. Last lap.

Coming inside. I'm coming inside.

I know I can get around you.

Come on, David. Now.

Overtake him, Dave.

Trust the harness, man.

Take that jump!

Yes!

He got it. He got it.

Attaboy.

Man! Whoo!

Passed the finish line right in midair.

Yes!

Hey, Marcy.

He who hesitate loses.

That was beautiful.
How do you feel?

That's nice to feel $30,000 richer.

Had a ball out here today.

It's really great to beat my brother Marc.

He's just another victim for me.
That's what I call everyone I pass.

Yeah, Marc was a victim
quite a few times today.

Oh, yeah. You won by that much.

- Hey. It's all it takes sometimes, okay?
- I know. I know.

In racing,

it's all the small details
that add up to the big victory.

The harness, the suspension,
and the new fuel system

may have only improved
Dave's car by fractions,

but Dave only won by a fraction.

Each of those mods
made a small but clear difference.

Well, Dave...

There you go.

- That's what 30,000 smells like.
- Yeah, that's 30,000.

Losing that 30 grand,

I'm gonna hear about that
for the rest of my life. Guaranteed.

Hey, Marc, I got a friend of mine.

Oh, Marc, that's just not right.

Yeah, right about here. Okay?

Oh yeah. The 30 grand will sting...

Could you go do
a ceremonial lap for us?

...but the Fathead's
gonna continue forever.

- Marc, you're a good sport.
- Yeah. A little embarrassing.

- Well, Sammy, congratulations.
- Thank you.

Yeah, thanks
for letting me lose that money.

You guys
are driving machines, man.

It was a great race
for the brothers and our shop.

After going 0-2, we're up a win.

Yes!

He got it.

Hopefully, that will plant our flag
in the off-road arena.

You guys, that was awesome.
The harness worked great over the jumps,

so I'm looking forward
to introducing it to some of my friends

out in the off-road industry.

Well, first off, it'd be incredible
if Sammy would jump on board with me.

Hang on.
Let me get this straight.

Are you asking me
to drop Dave and team up with you?

Oh yeah. You know, Marc, I think
it's time for you to get off the bottle.

All right.

Sammy Maloof is here. Jeff Allen is here.

Sammy, uh, give us
your official particulars.

I've been a Hollywood stuntman
for 25 years

and had my race car shop for 37.

Only by the grace of God,
I'm telling you right now.

Hmm. Well, I'm an atheist,
so I'm gonna be in trouble.

Yeah. You're gonna be in big trouble.

Adam Carolla
is a comedian and a talk show host,

but I also know he's a major car collector

as well as a serious racer.

He's raced in celebrity
as well as professional races

all over the world.

Adam likes cars so much,

he often invites car people
to his podcast to talk shop.

And I'm fortunate
that he reached out to me.

Jeff.

- Yes?
- You now.

I have never done a stunt
quite like Sammy, I can tell you that.

But I have been naked in the car before.

No, that's a different story.
I'm just kidding.

I don't know Jeff Allen.
I know of Jeff Allen.

Outside of being a TV car show host

and a custom car dealer,

Jeff is also a serious driver.

He's raced
in multiple cross-country rallies

and won many of them.

So I'm in a room
with these two amazing racers,

and I can't help but think

how great it would be
to see these guys go head-to-head.

Especially since these boys were flexing
their chest even before the podcast,

when we were standing in the lobby.

So, Jeff, what do you race?

Just a little, uh, 124S Volvo.

- Ah, so a 124 Volvo...
- Yeah.

- Got a blower on it?
- No, no.

- Just, uh, naturally aspirated.
- Naturally asp...

No blower, no chance.

- No chance?
- What kinda horsepower you putting out?

- Six-fifty.
- To the wheels?

- What are you running, though?
- I'm running a Newman cup car.

2000, uh, GT3 Porsche.

This car ran last with Newman driving it
during the, uh, Petit Le Mans series.

Paul Newman,
not only was he an amazing actor,

he was a racing car legend.

Adam Carolla bought many of Paul's cars,

one of them being the GT3 Porsche.

Paul Newman has raced that car

in some of the most prestigious races
around the world

and established that race car

as one of the fastest
road racing cars ever built.

Now, I'm thinking, "How great would it be

for a Volvo street car
to go up against Paul Newman's race car?"

It's a classic David versus Goliath.

Adam, I believe that you can wheel a car,
and I know you can wheel a car.

So, I wanna watch you two go heads up
and grab gears together.

But I think, to really make it real,
put up 20 grand.

- Twenty grand?
- Twenty grand.

Twenty grand. That's, uh...

You're in?

I mean, I'm in.

- All right. I'm in.
- Let's do it.

- Twenty grand.
- Now, let's make something clear.

- My car was built for the street.
- Yeah.

You know, yours is built for the track.

The Volvo has no aerodynamics whatsoever.

Well, you in it,
it's gonna create a lot of downforce

at least on one side of the car.

So now, here we are.

I'm racing Paul Newman's cup car
for 20 grand. Phew.

Do I feel like Rocky Balboa

going into this fight
against Apollo Creed with Adam Carolla?

Yes, I do.

But I believe,
just like Rocky against Apollo,

yo, it's will over skill, baby.

So, we're gonna do a challenge.
We're gonna go to Willow Springs and race.

Yeah.

I'm gonna have Sammy tweak the car.

Man, I'd rather be
on Adam's team for this one.

This was your idea, Sammy,
so you're gonna have to dial the car in.

I need you to bring it to life.
Figure out how to make this work.

It's not an ideal situation.

Yeah, I'm in trouble.

- I have a radio.
- You're gonna go...

I barely know Jeff Allen,

and I don't like the idea
of fixing up a Volvo.

But then I got to thinking.

If I set up a street car that beats
Paul Newman's legendary race car,

not only will I make ten grand
if Jeff splits the purse,

but this win would be all over the media.

So that would get more buzz
than money can buy.

So yeah, I'm up for the challenge.

By the way,
I've got a weight advantage,

so it's gonna all even out.

I got a weight advantage too.

I'll be "waiting"
for you to enter turn one.

We will, uh, see you guys
out on the track,

and we'll find out who takes this money.

Until next time,
it's Adam for Sammy and Jeff saying,

"Mahalo."

- Thanks, guys.
- Thank you.

Come on back, Jeff.

That's good there, brother.

Voilà.

So when I first laid eyes
on Jeff Allen's car, I said to myself,

"Thank God
we're gonna put this thing in a race

and not a beauty contest."

To me, it looked
like a circus coming in here.

I understand it's got
a complete Corvette drivetrain in it.

Yeah. We started
with a 2013 Grand Sport.

We dropped the Volvo body on top of it.

It's old-school cool.

But you gotta remember,
we're going up against Paul Newman's car.

That car is gonna be prepped.

But the displacement, the weight,
he's got us by a lot of pounds.

Don't worry about it.
There's a lot of changes I'm gonna do.

- Because we need to.
- Right.

And this car will be ready
to perform around that track.

Oh, yeah.

We've gotta make it work,
and we gotta make the odds even somehow.

- I got a lot to do to get you set up.
- No worries, brother.

Take good care of her.

Of course.
I'm gonna turn this circus into a beast.

- What is this?
- Hey, now.

This ain't no American muscle.

We work on European stuff now?

I see the American drivetrain,
but that's about it.

What you laughing at?
Gonna side with them?

You guys are sh**ting it down,
and you don't even know what it is.

Here's the deal.

Jeff Allen put the body of a Volvo

on the chassis of a Corvette.

So everything is Corvette drivetrain.
It just looks like a Volvo.

So, what we have to do
is make it racetrack friendly.

This is a big-dollar race. It's $20,000.

He's racing one
of Paul Newman's race car Porsches.

It's a 2000 cup car.

And it's set up to tear up asphalt.

In that case, gotta do a lot of work
to this thing to get it to go.

We have our work cut out for us,
because Jeff's Volvo is a street car,

and Adam Carolla's Porsche

is one of the greatest
road racing cars ever built.

Like all true race cars,
it has a lightweight body,

custom suspension, roll cage.

In addition, it has two features

that make Porsche racing cars
super special.

First, incredible aerodynamics

that dramatically reduces wind resistance
and improves handling.

Second, the car has a mid-engine,

meaning the engine is installed
near the middle of the car.

Which gives it great balance and traction.

Basically, we have a lot to do
to make the odds even for Jeff.

Jeff is going to pay
for all the parts up front,

and if he wins, he's gonna split
the $20,000 purse with us.

All right. First things first.
Alignment and suspension needs work.

There's no way
this stock-looking suspension

is gonna be on that racetrack.

What else do you think needs to be done?

The tires need to go.

Don't think those are gonna hold up
against that Porsche.

I agree.

I'm gonna go full-blown stickies, man.

'Cause I know through every turn,
this car will stick to the ground.

This will immediately improve
his traction and handling.

Yeah.

Jeff Allen will take on Adam Carolla
in a $20,000 race at Willow Springs.

A difficult track
with many turns and elevation changes.

Basically, it's a track made for race cars

and will give Adam Carolla
an even bigger advantage.

So to level the playing field,

we're gonna have to make
some major upgrades to Jeff's car

and take advantage
of the one thing his car does have,

horsepower.

If Jeff is able to get off the line first,

his horsepower advantage
should help him get the lead at the start.

But as they get
into the twisting, turning course,

the more opportunities
Adam will have to get ahead.

In order for Jeff to get this win,

we have to radically improve
the suspension and handling of the Volvo.

So here's the deal.

Jeff said the biggest problem he has
is it's overheating.

Could be a lot of reasons
for the overheating.

The cooling system is inadequate,

there's not enough octane,

the exhaust system is restricted.

Let's comb this car from bumper to bumper.

Let's get started.

I guarantee,
when we locate this heating issue...

- That's good.
- Next wheel.

...this car's gonna run a whole lot better
and perform like it's supposed to.

- Don't forget the inside.
- You got it.

Jeez. Filthy.

While Hannah and the boys
get cracking on Jeff's Volvo,

I head out to meet my stunt team

who are making final preparations
for our next project,

the commercial for Powerful Nutrition.

Nice and wide.
Use up all the real estate, guys.

Today,
we're sh**ting our next big stunt.

Which requires some crazy precision
and synchronized driving.

This commercial
is inspired by the Tron films

which have
a super futuristic feel to them.

Cool cars, slick surfaces,
and multicolored lights everywhere.

The idea behind this commercial

is that two Mustangs
enter a Tron-like arena.

The goal is to see who can capture
the bottle at the center of the set.

The first part of this commercial,

my dad and I will come charging head-on
towards each other,

and at the last minute,

throw 90s to see who can beat the other
to the bottle hovering in front of us.

We try it twice, but fail both times.

On our third and final attempt,
we're so focused on beating each other,

we don't notice the phantom car
coming out of nowhere.

In a powerful blaze of fire,

it steals the drink from between us
and wins the battle.

All right.
Let's make sure our gloves are on,

we're gonna have our helmets on,
and then we'll get going.

We've got every hindrance possible.

Our lighting limitations
cut the playing field in about a quarter.

We have a ground that's wet,

getting slipperier and slipperier
as the evening goes on.

Do you see where the camera is, right?
Where I'm waving my hand?

No. I can't see you.

And now
one more degree of difficulty.

We're in a very dark environment.

We fill the room full of smoke,
and we backlight it.

So I feel like
we've almost layered for failure,

and it'll be, uh, sheer skill
and a little bit of luck

that makes some success, right?

Okay, you guys ready?
We are gonna roll camera.

Okay, Meghan. Nice, big breath.

You got this, pumpkin.

Copy.

This is a great
learning experience for my daughters,

because it's a whole lot more challenging

than what we originally set up for
in the parking lot.

Plus, even though Meghan
and Kaitlyn are front and center

for the very first time in a commercial,

they gotta nail the choreography.

We got no backup cars.

We can't afford any scratches
or the slightest miss on our marks.

So there's a lot of pressure.

But the only way for them to learn
is to be under this kind of pressure.

Meghan, you ready?

- Yes.
- Here we go.

This kind of driving
is like dancing with a partner.

But the only difference is,
we're dancing with 5,000-pound muscle cars

that could potentially
crash into each other.

- So timing is key.
- Here we go, guys.

And three, two, one.

Go!

Drift the arc.

Hand out to grab that bottle.

That's a great angle.

Okay. We're gonna go one more time.

Copy.

And in three, two, one. Go.

Nice!

Nice!

You guys nailed it. Excellent job.

Good job, pumpkin.

And now things are gonna get
a little more complicated,

because we're adding another
high-horsepower car to the dance.

All right. Kaitlyn, here we go.

Now it gets
to the most dangerous part.

Where I have to thread the needle
between Meghan and my dad,

sneak in between them
with only inches to spare.

We're gonna have fire, guys.

And my Mustang's actually
on fire when I'm driving.

Anytime you bring fire into the equation,

you turn up the danger level of the stunt.

So, Kaitlyn, we're gonna have
to go quick on this. They're gonna pour.

While they're pouring, I'm backing you up.

Then I'm gonna say, "Kaitlyn, action."

Kaitlyn, start back.

We've got cars
with fuel in them,

a set full of equipment,

live wires,

and of course,
the car I'm driving is on fire,

so I'm in the most dangerous position.

Everybody ready?
We're gonna go right away.

Copy.

Once that flame is lit,
there's no second takes.

Guys,
everybody big, deep breath.

And in three, two, one.

Meghan and Sammy, go.

In three, two, one.

Light it.

Go, go, go. Burnout.

Action, Kaitlyn.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Nice!

Kaitlyn, that was great.

Y'all k*lled it.

Where's my baby girls?

My daughters
really spread their wings tonight.

A few months ago...

Grease the ramp.

...they were just setting stunts up for me.

From here to there.

Prepping me.

Look at the yellow pole
in the garage door as you're opening.

And now, they transitioned
to driving lead vehicles.

All the moves
were just inches from each other.

And I think we nailed them.

The commercial,
it looks absolutely spectacular.

So, all in all,
a successful day across the board.

- Thank you, Matt. We did this.
- Right on, dude.

- Let's go home.
- Come on, pumpkin.

How hard is it to pop this off?

- It's, like, four bolts.
- Yeah.

And we just pop that off.
And just do that real quick.

- Hannah, Hannah.
- Oh. Hey, Dad.

How's the Volvo coming?

You figure out why it was hot?

So, looking
at all the components more closely,

the one thing that sticks out to me
is the exhaust manifolds.

I think the first thing we gotta do
is go through the exhaust system.

Why do you think the exhaust?

First of all, it doesn't have any headers,

and without headers,
it's not gonna perform.

I agree.

The pipes are way too small
to breathe this engine.

We got this much horsepower
trying to go through that much pipe.

It's totally restricted.

We should install
a new exhaust system.

That'll keep the engine cool
in the high RPMs.

The exhaust system to these cars
is key to high performance.

But the problem with Jeff's car

is the current exhaust system
has stock manifolds

and smog-legal exhaust pipes,

and that's going to restrict
the exhaust flow.

If the exhaust isn't set up right,

it actually causes
extra heat to be produced.

It could start melting things,
spin bearings, and none of that's good.

So our plan
is to get rid of the old exhaust system

and reconfigure a new one
that will include the headers.

Headers are a series of special tubes

that help the flow of gasses
and heat directly from the engine.

By installing them, we'll suck the heat
right out of the engine

and dramatically reduce
the temperature under the hood.

When the engine cools,

there will be a huge jump
in horsepower and torque,

meaning the car will run
a whole lot faster.

Immediately,
we're gonna gain about 60 horsepower,

40 to 45 foot-pounds of torque.

Yeah, for sure.

All right. Let's get this up on the rack,
rip out the old exhaust system,

and put in the new headers
and exhaust pipes.

Time to earn your living.

Thanks, man.

Coming down.

- This thing's stuck.
- Can it turn at all?

- It's not fitting.
- You gotta be kidding me.

Everything's in the way.
Is it touching the side of the car?

- Yeah.
- Damn.

Houston, we have a problem.

Hey, Hannah, you out there?

What's going on?

So we got
all the old exhaust stuff,

and now I'm putting the new headers in,
but I have a bit of a problem.

It's hitting some stuff,
and there's not enough room.

Looks like these lines
are gonna be right in our way.

So close, yet so far.

We're installing
a brand-new exhaust system in this car,

but because this Volvo
is such a Frankenstein of a car,

everything is set up
a little different than normal.

So, the installation is a challenge

because the oil lines
are blocking the path

we need to take to fit the headers.

So we need to figure out a way
to get the headers past the oil lines.

You know what? Disassemble the lines.

Drain all the oil out of the car,
move the lines to the side.

Once you get the header,
put the lines back together.

- Got it.
- We don't need this?

- You don't need any of those up there.
- All right. Sounds good.

Oh, yeah.

I had a dream last night I'm a muffler.

I woke up exhausted.

Pass it over here.

Look at that.

Hannah, we did it.

Headers fit pretty darn good.

Okay. Now let's install
this beautiful exhaust.

Cool. Perfect.

But we got lots to do.

Jeff's race is in two days, guys.

All hands on deck.

- All right.
- Let's do it.

- All right, Trevor?
- Yeah?

- Is that all the way down?
- All the way.

- Let me make this adjustment.
- Kaitlyn, give me a one-inch wrench.

- Short or long?
- Long.

- Meghan! That part is done.
- Okay.

We're gonna change these out.

I'll try and work
on replacing the parts.

Aw, that's it?

Motown ain't got nothing on us today.
Right, Trev?

- That's right.
- All right.

Hey, Sammy!

What's cracking, brother?

- Look at this place.
- It's absolutely beautiful.

We're out here at Willow Springs Raceway,
at the highest track they have out here,

called Horse Thief Mile.

This track is not favorable
for Jeff's car,

because this is a race car track.

There's twists, sharp turns,
constant elevation changes.

That's why this track is absolutely
perfect for Adam Carolla's Porsche.

However, keeping in mind all the upgrades
that we did on Jeff's car,

I believe we made the odds
pretty close to even.

All right. What's behind door number two?

Oh-h*-h*, baby!

Oh, baby, baby, baby!

- A couple of things I did.
- Okay.

One is, um, we've supplied a new driver.

- No, I'm just kidding.
- That's smart.

We put a lot of work
into making this Volvo scream.

And every modification
will trim seconds off of Jeff's lap time.

We replaced the stock manifolds
with a completely new exhaust system.

This will keep the Corvette engine cooler
as it goes through the course.

We fine-tuned the shocks
and the suspension

so it'll handle
the tight turns on this track,

more like Adam Carolla's race car.

We put on racing slicks
to boost the traction

and keep the car stuck to the ground.

Finally, we adjusted
the camber on each wheel

to handle the sharp turns
at high speeds on this track.

All the changes will help narrow
the gap between the two cars.

But on race day, Jeff's gonna have
to drive out of his skin,

because Adam Carolla's Porsche,
it's an absolute beast.

Look how wide
those bad boys are in the front.

Yeah. You're gonna stick, brother.
You're gonna stick like no tomorrow.

I almost hate to run 'em and scuff 'em.

- You better run 'em and scuff 'em.
- So pretty! They're so pretty!

Let's run this thing.

- Now, remember.
- Yeah.

You are gonna have
to tree the living snot out of him.

Yeah. Exactly.

It's a drag race with turns.

You're gonna throttle
this thing out the gates.

Get ahead of him right away.

If you see him coming up wide,

he's gonna make you go wide to dip in.

You just keep your car in the middle.

- Don't let him try to get around you.
- Yeah.

So, I'm gonna practice
those techniques right now.

All right. Let's do it.

Wider, wider, wider.

Dip.

Come on, come on. Get moving.

I know. I'm going.

Duck inside!

Wide.

- Take advantage of the elevation change.
- Yeah. Exactly.

- Downshift.
- Here we go.

Brake hard through the turn.

Keep your foot in it.

Duck down inside.

- Oh, man!
- Beautiful.

- Man.
- Tight course.

- Yeah.
- Make sure he doesn't come in here.

Flat-footed through this turn.

Cut in.

Attaboy, Jeff.

Good job.

I gotta tell ya, I'm impressed
with the performance levels of the car.

Incredible.

You know, at first,
I was a little nervous going into today,

but after the practice session,

the playing field
just got a little leveler.

This is a fight.
It's gonna be a knock-down, drag-out.

I really believe your car
is gonna work for you on this track.

- Yeah?
- The rest is on you, Jeff.

Get that launch on him, stay ahead,

and widen your car through every turn.

- And...
- We're gonna win.

That's it.

Oh, Sammy. There she be.

- That's a beautiful car.
- Thing's an incredible piece of art.

I know. It's the size of your glove box.
It's small.

Paul Newman was in this seat.

It's one thing
to hear about Adam Carolla's Porsche,

but once you see it, you finally realize
how special this car really is.

But even though his car is impressive,
we ain't scared.

The way we set up Jeff's Volvo,

alls we could say is bring it on.

Well,
this is a pleasant surprise.

- Good to see you made it.
- Yeah.

- I like your two-piece fire suit.
- That's right, buddy.

You said
you were gonna be on street tires.

Well,
I drove them here from the street.

But to tell you the truth,
yours is a street car.

Mine's a street car, you know what I mean?

But this is a prepped race car
you have here.

Aw, this is basically a bone-stock 911

with a couple of vinyl decals on it

and a race harness, you know?

Nice.

- Nice.
- That roll bar is just for looks.

- You don't have a roll bar in your car.
- I don't.

- Unbelievable.
- Mine actually has a headliner.

Full interior, carpet.
I actually have two seats in mine.

Oh, yeah. One.

You know...

I'm in a gunfight.
You're in a knife.

I'm thinking
if I throw the knife real hard,

hopefully, we'll... we'll have a shot.

All right. So, uh, let's review.

- Twenty large.
- Yes.

- How many laps you guys wanna do?
- I think three is fair.

Three?
We're barely getting heat into the tires.

How about we bump it to four laps?

What's gonna be the difference
between three and four?

- Well...
- I'm gonna tire out?

The track is technical.

It's got 11 turns in one mile.

So this is just like being up
on Mulholland on a Friday night.

I know they're gonna jump me at the start,

and I'm gonna have to take a little time
to see if I can get around him.

All right. So, four laps,

and I'll give you whatever lane
you wanna start in.

Give him the four.

- I mean, it doesn't matter.
- All right. Four and 20.

- Four and 20.
- Okay.

- All right. See ya out there.
- All right, all right.

Here we go.

Get the tires set.

He's ready.

All right, Sammy. Let me have it.

You're gonna have to drive your mirrors.

Stay ahead
and widen your car through every turn.

We'll have the edge on the straightaway,

but you're gonna have to get him
through the turn again.

And you box him in
so he cannot get around you.

Got it.

Jeff Allen's hands
are gonna be full today,

but if we can put Jeff
in his exhibition car

and race a Paul Newman cup car
and beat him,

that's gonna go a long way with us.

Not only will we get
half of that $20,000 purse,

we will extend our winning streak
and spread our name across America.

Thank you for all the help.

I love you, man. Thank you.

Hey, he cut a good light.

Look at Jeff.

Jeff got a nose on him.

That's that Detroit horsepower,

that Chevrolet small block
pulling out the gates.

Come on, Jeff.
Run the turns deep. Run him deep.

Make him work for that thing!

Oh man. That was a beautiful first lap.

You got three more to go.

Keep your foot on it.
You got some good stickies on there.

Attaboy, thattaboy.
Keep him in your mirrors.

Good, good. Accelerate.

- What was that second lap?
- 1:04.

You nailed it.

Two more to go, Jeff. We got two more.

Keep the skinny pedal down.

Don't let him get on the inside of you.

Attaboy.

This is looking really good.

You're on the final lap.
Run it like you stole it, brother.

Wide it up a little bit.
Here he comes on the outside. Wide it up.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Stay ahead of him.

Do not shift that car. Throttle it!

Throttle it!

Watch him on the inside. He's coming up!

Don't give up your lead.

Adam took the lead.

No, no!