01x06 - Carl's Date

[bunniefuu]

[OPENING THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[WIND CHIME RATTLING]

Now, don't eat it until I say "Go."

All right.

- One.
- [CHOMPS]

DUG: So good.

- Try again.
- DUG: Yes.

Wait until "Go"...

DUG: Mmm!

It's official. You really don't teach
old dogs new tricks.

- [PHONE RINGS]
- DUG: I am old?

I have no idea.

Fredricksen residence.

Oh, hello, Miss Meyer!

The senior center is gonna adopt
all of Muntz's dogs?

[CHUCKLES] Thank you so much!

DUG: Dawgs.

You adopted one, too?

And your dog wants to talk to my dog?

Uh, hang on.

Come here, Dug.

ALPHA: Hello. Hello?
Dug, are you there? Come in, Dug.

DUG: Alpha?

ALPHA:
This is Beta. You are Alpha!

Do you not remember this
which I am telling you now?

- DUG: Oh, that is right. I am Alpha.
- [GROANS]

DUG:
Do you like living in a house now?

ALPHA:
Oh, yes! I love my Toys-for-dogs!

- [TOY SQUEAKS]
- ALPHA: This one is a little cow!

[ALPHA LAUGHS]

There is much fun
to be had and... Squirrel!

DUG: Squirrel? Squirrel!
Where is the Squirrel?

- [BARKS]
- ALPHA: Bye, Dug!

I'm back.

They do keep you on your toes.

What's that?

Oh!

Okay.

Uh-huh. Sure.

Well, thanks again.

Bye now!

Oh, no, no, no, no. This is not good.

DUG: What? What is not good?

This is very, very bad.

DUG: What? What is it?

Very bad.

DUG: I feel so bad for you! [HOWLS]

It's... It's Miss Meyer.

Miss Meyer was mean
to my Poppa. [HOWLING]

- From the phone call?
- DUG: She was mean on the phone.

- She likes me.
- DUG: And she likes you? Huh?

And wants to go out on a date.

With me!

And I said okay.

Can you believe it?

DUG: I do not know these words.

How could I do such a thing? [GASPS]

I'm sorry, Ellie.

DUG: Poppa, what is a date?

Well, we go out.

You know, hold hands, pitch woo.

Woo?

Like, playing at the dog park with Fifi.

DUG: Oh!

I don't know how to date.

DUG: Since you are my Poppa,
may I call her my momma?

Please refrain.

Do I shake her hand when I see her?

What do I do?

DUG: Just smell her backward side.

What?

DUG: Smell her backward side.

Then she will do the same.
It is how you say hello.

Disgusting!

I'm a person, you know?

DUG: Oh, I am just a dawg.

All right, I'll think about it.

- DUG: No. That is fine.
- Dug!

DUG:
Humans should be more like a dawg.

Well, what would a dog do?

DUG: I would bring her a toy.

She would wag her tail.

Mmm-hmm.

Okay. Okay.

Yeah, okay!

I gotta go to the store.

[GROANS]

Wallet.

Ah, phooey.

Keys.

Aw! Other way.

DUG: I think Poppa needs to go to the vet.

[CHOMPING]

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

Poppa is back.

Poppa?

Uh, Poppa?

They're, uh, fun, right?

DUG: Uh...

I am a dawg.

Fun is digging in the dirt
and destroying your flowers.

[GASPS] Flowers!

There's so much to do.

DUG: This is not fun at all.

DUG: Oh! Too much smell!

What? It's a cologne.

DUG: It made my nose get dead.

[SCREAMING]

[SIGHS IN RELIEF]

One, two, three. Two, two, three.

- DUG: I have no idea what is happening.
- One, two, three.

Oh, yes. The economy is on the rise, yeah.

- Would you agree?
- DUG: And what do I say?

Anything!

A new town swimming pool?
Great idea.

DUG: I like bugs.

Yes, it does look like
a cold front is coming in.

DUG: I chew on your shoes.

[LAUGHS]

You are so witty. [LAUGHS]

DUG: I like to roll in poo.

[GROWLS]

DUG: Get out of here you intruder!

Dug! Dug, it's me!

[EXCLAIMS]

Is it too much?

DUG: You do not look like you.

I know.

DUG: You do not smell like you.

Yeah.

DUG: Why are you not you?

This is crazy. I'm not going.

- DUG: No. I will not let you!
- Yes. I must.

Why do you care?

DUG: I do not want you to be sad!

Sit, Poppa!

[GRUNTS]

You will act like a dawg, not a human.

You will bring her a toy
and when you see her,

you wag your tail,

and say,
"I have just met you and I love you!"

You are my Poppa, and I love you,

and she will love you.

[SIGHS]

Thanks, Dug.

This is it.

Think I got everything.

'Night, Dug.

DUG: Good night, Poppa.

I will go, too.

One more thing.

Hope you don't mind, Ellie.

I guess this is a new kind
of adventure for both of us.

I promise I'll be back by 10:00.


Dug is my chaperone.

He won't let me pitch any woo.

And...

Just know...

You'll always be my girl.

DUG: Other way.

[CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING]