01x12 - The Fortune You Seek Is in Another Cookie

[bunniefuu]

♪

♪

ANGEL: [over phone]
It's been over a week

since you've had a single vision?

Of any kind?

- Uh-huh.

Oh, I got to go.

My 12:30 is here.

- You're taking clients?

Girl, you can't just act
like everything is normal

if you're not getting any--

[beeping]

That b*tch hung up on me.

- Take a seat.
- Thank you.

Ohh.

This chair feels lower.
Or maybe you got taller.

- Ah. [chuckles]

So what brings you in today?

- I'm thinking of retiring.

And I want to know if the time is right.

- Great.

Let's explore that.
- Okay.

[winces]

- You alright?

You look like me watching my adult son

ride his unicycle.

- You know what?
Let me try holding your planner.

- Alright. But, uh, the woman
I drew in there is not you.

- I hope not.
- No.

- I'm just confirming here.

Should Zach retire?

Ask again later? Huh.

- Maybe I'm not the one
that's supposed to retire.

- You know what? I'm not going
to charge you for today.

How about you, uh, come back
next week and we try again?

- Maggie, you know what happens
to a racehorse

that breaks their leg?

- Yes. They get better
and run faster than ever.

- Glue.

♪

ANGEL: Didn't work out
with your client, did it?

- I'm figuring it out.

- Honey, I wasn't worried at first,

but your visions have been gone a while.

How are you going to keep seeing clients?

- Well, I'm trying new things at work,

like I'm asking everyone to reschedule,

which is a really interesting way
to stop making money.

I did make this, though.

Pick a color.

- Oh my stars.

Maggie, denial is not just
a brother on Frasier.

It is okay to feel blue right now.

- Got it. B-L-U-E.

- Hey, can I see that?
- Yeah.

[gasps]
- Girl,

you are clearly grieving
your lost visions.

Have you not heard
of the five stages of grief?

The Spice Girls of emotion.

Baby is denial.

Ginger is bargaining. Posh is depression--

- Angel, I am not grieving my visions

because I'm going to get them back.

- Oh, that's Baby Spice talking.

- This is ridiculous.

- Well, you're the one
with the cootie catcher.

- Those are very accurate.

- Whether your visions come back or not,

it is clear to me you're hurting.

Here. Now.

- No. You know what?

I have had enough
spiritual guidance for one day.

- Oh, anger. That's good.

You're moving on to the next stage.

Sporty Spice.

- You forgot Scary Spice.

- Acceptance is Scary.
- Ugh.

- Because acceptance is scary.

[door closes]

- Okay, the wedding is almost here,

and we have some
very important decisions to make.

Do we go with the parsnip-wrapped
devils on horseback

or the savory mushroom
and parmesan-crusted palmiers?

LOUISE: Mm.

- What do you think, Maggie?

- Well, I wish I could tell you
if these were going to taste good,

but without my visions,
there's simply no way to know.

- Or you could just taste them.

It's kind of what we're doing here.
- Oh.

- Well?

- Well, I can't do it
with you looking at me.

- Is she going to be
like this at the wedding?

- Oh, she'll be fine. I'll handle it.

- Great. So Louise is on Maggie duty...
[chuckles]

and Maggie is working on herself.

BEN: Amy, you can't keep
giving people jobs.

This isn't like when we were younger
and we played Pharaohs,

and only you got to be the pharaoh.

- That's exactly what this is, Ben.

And you need to work
on your speech for the reception.

- [chuckles] You have to write a speech.

AMY: So do you

as my maid of honor.

- Wait, what?

I'm not the maid of honor.
I'm just a bridesmaid.

- Oh, well, unfortunately,
Mindy and I got into a huge fight

because I said no kids
were allowed at the wedding,

but pets are welcome.

So you got promoted.

Yay!

Please just make sure
it's 250 words minimum

and no metaphors.

I don't understand them.

- I wish I had seen this coming.
- Yeah.

- That was a dig, right?

- Good luck with her.

[sniffs]

[crunching]

- Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.

- I can't believe your sister's
making me write this speech.

I suck at public speaking.

The last time I stood at a podium,
I introduced myself as Allison.

- Hey, that was the biggest laugh
at my dad's funeral.

- It's going to be a disaster.

I'm already sweating through my bra.

- Look, it's going to be fine. Okay?

Your hair videos get a ton of views.

Didn't Doja Cat stitch
one of your fishtail tutorials on Hairtok?

- Huh. You do listen.

But that was prerecorded.

I wish I could film myself ahead of time.

- You can if you want.

Stay with me on this.

Why don't you read one
of Shakespeare's sonnets

but, like, in a hip-hop way?

- Wow. You really are
a high school teacher.

- Okay.

Less problematic,

you can interview Amy and Dave's friends,

like in When Harry Met Sally.

Having those couples talk about love.

- I don't really get that movie.

It shouldn't take ten years
to know you like someone.

- Well, well, well,

not everyone can meet their person

under a giant rainbow parachute
in gym class.

Oh.

- Yeah. Yeah, maybe that works.

You know, I can ask everyone else

the questions I'm having trouble
answering myself.

- How do you know if someone is the one?

Having trouble answering this?
Should I be worried?

- Come on, we don't count.
We've been together forever.

- Hmm.

- You know, like in a hot way.

- Yeah. Babe, keep talking
dismissive to me. I like that.

[crunching]

♪

- Hi.
- Hey there, Miss Sexy Notebook Lady.

- I think we need to go
through our vows together.

- Before the wedding?
- Uh-huh.

- Isn't that bad luck? Like breaking
a mirror or watching an evil videotape?

- Well, I just think
that we need to be prepared.

You and I have a tendency
to be very emotional,

and I don't want
to ugly cry at our wedding.

- Yeah, good idea, babe.

Alright. Okay.
- Okay.

- Alright, hey, let's hear it.

[clears throat]

- Dave...

before we met, I was lost.

[sobs]

- God, you're going to hit me
with that right out of the gate?

Who is that? Maya Angelou?

- I know. This is never going to work.

I spent $1,200 on a makeup artist.

- Oh, you went with the cheaper option.

I appreciate that, babe.

- I know we had a plan
to be romantic with our vows,

but I think that we just need to write

the driest version of our vows possible

so we can just blow through them.

- For you, I can do that. Yeah.

As long as I have you by my side,
I can do anything.

I can be anything--
- Oh my god, stop.

- How many candles
and crystals do you need?

- As many as it takes
to get my visions back.

- I'm not really sure how
a yoni egg is supposed to help.

- Look, Lou, I have
a very targeted approach.

And that approach is
to try absolutely everything.

- Mm-hmm.
- Except maybe ayahuasca.

- Well, honestly,
if you're looking for visions,

ayahuasca is probably your best bet.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Add event to my calendar. Do ayahuasca.

- Okay, Maggie, I'm starting to get
a little worried about you.

You're acting desperate, okay,

and people take advantage of desperation.

That's why you never shop
at a store with a hot salesperson.

- Okay, Lou, I don't think I'm in danger
of being manipulated.

Okay?

Smoothies for complete spiritual rebirth.

Only $18.

- It's a waste of money, girl.

Oh, that pet store
has crème brulée for dogs!

[gasps] Let's get one, Thelma.

WOMAN:
Did you want to add a scoop

of yellowjacket pollen or deep-sea fungus?

DANIEL:
Which is better for getting in shape

without having to move your body?

- Neither.
DANIEL: Okay.

WOMAN: Well, that will be $40.

Top swipe right here.

I will be right with you.

Be right up.

- Maggie?

MAGGIE: Daniel.
- Hi.

- Hi.
DANIEL: Wow.

This is a surprise.

- You have no idea.

[both chuckle]

[Maggie chuckles]

- Well, I never thought
I would see you in a place like this.

- Yeah. Yeah.

Well, um, these days, I'm, uh,

I'm trying to glow from the inside out.

- Large chocolate maca reishi,
no maca, no reishi, extra chocolate?

- That yours?
- Uh, no.

- For Daniel?

- Yes.

Yes. Thank you.

Ha, ha!

It's really good to see you.

- Good to see you, too.

- I hope it's okay for me to say this,

it's probably not,
but I'm going to say it anyway.

I picked up my phone
a million times to call you.

I just... I just, I just didn't think
that you'd answer it.

- Probably wouldn't have.

- Yeah.

- Uh, but I think I might be
in a different place now.

- Yeah, me too.
I mean, I'm in a wellness store.

- Sir, your large cup
of whipped cream to go.

- Thank you. Thanks.

I took the liberty of ordering you

a large cup of whipped cream.

[chuckles]

- So, kind of exciting news.

I'm seeing Daniel tomorrow.

- That had better be a play
where Harry Potter gets naked.

- Think about it, Angel.

Maybe I lost my visions
because I'm supposed to be with him.

- And we're into the bargaining stage.

- We broke up because of my visions,

and now he shows up
when I don't have them anymore?

Getting back together
makes perfect sense to me.

- I haven't heard such a misread

since my grandmama ordered
a "chile reyeno."

- Well, give me another reason
why it didn't work out with Daniel then.

[door opens]
- Knock, knock.

MAGGIE: Oh. Hi.
- Hi.

- Is this a bad time?
- Your timing is impeccable.

They're here to interview me
for Amy and Dave's wedding.

- Oh my gosh.

I'm so sorry I haven't gotten back
to you guys about doing mine yet.

- Oh, they asked you too?

JESSIE: It won't take long.

Unless, like Ben's cousin,
you have a very detailed story

about your wife cheating on you
with her math tutor.

- Why would an adult have a math tutor?

- I assume to have an affair with.

[laughter]

- So, um, Angel,

are you ready to talk about
the enduring power of romantic love?

- Why stop now?

- Okay. Are you ready
for some dry, unemotional vows?

- You betcha.
- Okay.

Dave, you are such a good dude.

One of the very best dudes.

Dave rhymes with brave.

- You know, I hate being negative,
so I won't be.

They're great.

- No, they're not. They're awful.
I don't know what to do.

- Well, uh, we could film them
and show them to our guests.

- No, that's the tackiest thing
I've ever heard.

We're not doing that.

- Yeah. Tacky. Ugh.
- No.

- Okay, Louise, I want
your honest feedback about our vows.

Okay.

Dave, I wasn't sure
that this day would ever come.

But you were.

I wasn't sure that love could survive
everything we put it through.

But you were.

You were always strong and always sure.

And now I know that I want you
to stand by me

for the rest of my life.

That I am sure of.

- Ever since I was young,

I never understood anything
about the world.

And I never really understood anything
that happened in my life.

The only thing that ever made sense
to me was you

and how I felt about you.

That's all I've ever known,

and that's enough for me.

That's enough for me
for the rest of my life, Amy.

[mouthing]

LOUISE: Oh my god.

I don't understand
how you guys aren't bawling right now.

That was so beautiful.

[both laugh]

- These aren't our vows.

These are Cory and Topanga's
from Boy Meets World.

- What?
- Yeah. We couldn't get
through ours without crying.

- You guys can't steal
other people's vows.

I mean, why don't you
just do the standard:

"Love is patient, love is kind,
blah, blah, blah, I do."

- Yikes. Uh, standard?

Oh, Louise.

Um, people are flying in from Colorado

to witness raw, visceral love

and have passed apps
and a casual black tie feel.

Standard is not going to cut it. Okay?

- What is casual black tie?

- She is allowing her friend
who broke her arm

to wear her cast.

You want a drink?

MAGGIE:
Thanks for meeting me here.

- I'm so glad you called.

- I wanted to. We have quite a history.

- Mm. Mm-hmm.

Well, if we are sitting here right now,

I hope that means that you might
still see a future with me.

- Funny you mention that,

because I actually can't see the future.

- Maggie, please don't do that.

- No.
- No, listen to me.

I feel terrible about
what I said that night.

- No, no, no. That's not what I mean.

My visions stopped.

So you don't have to worry
about them anymore.

- What do you mean they stopped?
- They're gone.

Oh, but I'm fine with it.
Isn't that great?

- Is it?
- Yes.

I mean, at first, I was mad,

and then I went and I bought
a bunch of crystals,

which apparently, like underwear,
you can't return.

But then I ran into you and I thought,

maybe I'm not supposed
to get my visions back.

Maybe I'm actually supposed
to date him instead.

[laughs]

- Supposed to?

- Yeah, well, I also have
to get a whole new career,

but I have an English degree,
and they said we can do anything.

So no worries there.

But--

- Maggie, look.

I meant what I said.

I think about you all the time.

- Me too.

- But I feel like
you're still looking for signs

to dictate your future

instead of listening
to what you really want.

- No.

No, I want, I want this.
- Do you?

Or you're just here because you're trying
to make sense of something.

- I don't know.

♪

[chuckles]

[phone chiming]

Ugh.

[knock on door]

- Yoo-hoo. Coming in.

Oh no.

When Harry Met Sally?
[gasps]

- Really? How many times
have you seen this movie?

- Harry has now met Sally 200 times.

- Oh dear.

- What?

It's the best free
anti-depressant there is.

- Oh, excuse me.

That's not true,
because I don't cost anything,

and I'm a total hoot.

Hey... is this about Daniel?

- No. That was a misfire.

I'm starting to think I might not get
my visions back.

Ever.

- Oh, Mags, I'm so sorry.

- You want to know my bigger fear?

That I complained about them
so much that they finally left,

and now I don't know
who I am without them.

- Alright, well, I know who you are, okay.

You're Maggie.
Your favorite color is terracotta.

Your hall pass is Clive Owen.

And you are not the type
of person to give up,

even when you do feel like
crawling up into a tiny ball.

- I already tried that,
and my pants ripped.

They were sweat pants, Lou. It was bad.

- Oh dear.

That does sound like rock bottom.
- Yeah.

- But, hey, you know what,
if you think about,

rock bottom is actually
kind of a cool place to be,

because it means
that the best is yet to come.

- Hmm.

[sighs]
I love it when you do that.

- Do what?
- Make my life better.

So what should I do now?

And then...
every single moment after that?

- It's not about what you should do.
It's about what you want to do.

You get to choose what comes next.
- Ugh.

- I like to go places that make me happy

and see people who make me laugh.

It's kind of why I came here.

♪

[sighs]

- Hi.
- Hi.

I think I'm finally ready
to talk about things.

The interview.
- The interview, yes. Yeah, come in.

- Sorry for showing up unannounced.

Is now a bad time to do the interview?

- Not at all.
Jessie's actually out

interviewing your mom and dad right now,
so it'll just be me.

- Wow, how did you master the art
of avoiding my parents so quickly?

- Honestly, I just couldn't find
a clean pair of pants in time.

These actually used to be white.
[Maggie chuckles]

- So, uh, how does this work?

- Uh, yeah, you, uh, sit here.

- Okay.
- And, uh,

I just hit record
with my little contraption,

and you can say anything you want
to Amy and Dave about love.

- Hmm.
It's like in When Harry Met Sally.

- Exactly.
- I just watched it.

- Really? What are the chances of that?

- Actually, pretty high.

I watch it all the time.

- I never took you for a rom-com person.

- Oh, come on.

Two people struggling
to get the timing right.

What could be more relatable than that?

- Yeah.

- One day after work,
my pal Marty and I went down

to the strip to see a punk band.

And guess who is on bass?

- I spotted him in the crowd right away.

I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

- Mm-hmm.

Yeah. And that kind of direct eye contact
made me very uncomfortable.

So I looked away.

- Which I found very hot.

- Mm-hmm?

- So should I set the camera up now or--

BEN: Alright.

So if you can tell Amy and Dave
one thing about love,

what would you say?

- Huh, honestly, I feel like
I should be taking advice from them

and not the other way around.
- Really?

Don't almost all your clients come
to you for relationship advice?

- Not anymore.

- I'm sorry.

I know what it's like
to lose something abruptly

that's important to you.

Or, you know, at least... someone.

- Did everyone try to tell you
about the five stages of grief?

- Yes, and it was really annoying.

But in retrospect, they were totally real.

I went through an anger phase
where I created

this whole Sims neighborhood,
just to starve them all.

- You're telling me. I almost
got back together with Daniel.

- Oh, you totally should have.

- Really?
- No, he sucked!

Why go back to Daniel?

- I told you, I'm bad at love.

I used to blame my visions
for ruining my relationships,

but it turns out I'm just
as hopeless without them.

- How do you mean?

- It was never my visions
preventing me from being happy.

It was me.

Even without them,
I still worry about the future

and preventing mistakes
before they happen and--

Honestly, losing them
has been really difficult.

But...

[sighs]

maybe I need to use this as an opportunity

to open myself up
and figure out what I want

and who.

- You know, every generation's
love language is different.

We were never raised
to talk about our feelings.

- Like now, it's all the rage
to say, "I'm an empath.

He's a narcissist."

- I am a narcissist.

No idea what she is.

- I guess if I could, um,

if I could tell Amy and Dave
one thing about love,

it would be

to keep doing what I'm learning to do now.

Living in their hearts
and not their heads.

[phone beeps]

- That was really good.

You know,
I never heard you talk like that.

- Yeah. I, I guess you just...
caught me at the right moment.

[both laugh]

- Timing's a funny thing, huh?

- Really is.

- Yeah.

- You kids think
about your options too much.

- Hmm.

- This game of musical chairs
isn't going to last forever.

One day, the music is going to stop,

and you're going to be standing all alone.

But not you. You were smart.

- What do you mean?

- Well, it couldn't have been easy
to move into the duplex with Ben

after he and Maggie had that thing.

But you picked your chair
and you're staying in it.

That's nice.

- I'm sorry. What thing?

MARIA: You know, the thing.

You do know, right?

- Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

♪

♪

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♪

♪

♪ Tonight I put on a song ♪

♪ You used to pull ♪

♪ Me in ♪

[clucking]