01x02 - Testosterone Tuesday

[bunniefuu]

Juho!

Tuukka?

How badly do you want Maria?

Why do you ask?

Do you want her all to yourself?

I was thinking about three things.

One:

I don't want her anymore.

Two:

You clearly want her.

Three:

I hate the other guys.

So?

Think about it.

You want Maria.
I want them to lose her.

What are you suggesting?

I know those guys.

I can help get rid of them.

Go on.

Tuesday, Pelle's day.

Pelle is a triathlon fanatic
and Maria's personal trainer.

Simple-minded,
but Maria isn't with him for his brains.

Maria is a perfect trainee for him.

Her deadlift has improved
nearly 50 kilos in a year.

Wednesday, Darius Kieras.

A celebrity chef
who thinks he's an artist.

He works 6 out of 7 days.

I hear Maria has lent him
quite a lot of money.

Thursday is Terho's day.

Terho is this sweet
little poetry lover.

Maria loves his sensitivity
and sensuality.

As for what Terho looks for in Maria?
I guess she's like a mother figure.

Friday, Sepe.

He's the most annoying of the bunch.

He's a comedian, former drunk,
a stand-up performer.

He is never serious,
except with Maria.

Saturday,

Mr Suburb, Vertti.

A divorced driving instructor,
father of two.

Fatherhood is everything to him.

He gets the kids every 15 days.

Maria pays his bills

and in return gets to play house.

Then there's Sunday and Hermanni.

Hermanni is... How should I put it?

He is a former paratrooper
and mercenary.

He's done the foreign legions
and everything.

He lives outside the system now.

He's in charge of Maria's security.

And Maria?

Maria, well...

Maria is the CEO of Bergholm Flysek.

They make black boxes for planes.

Maria's father is the main shareholder.

But, you know.

Maria may appear lovely.

But she's an arrogant as*h*le,

who wants it all.

She wants everything all at once.



She wants everything.

Are you ready to give her that?

You either need me

or you need a hobby.

TUESDAY

Hey.

Oh, a giraffe.

It's not for you.

My friend's kid is getting baptized
this evening.

I haven't been to a baptism
in a while.

You're not coming.

It's Pelle's day.

You seem to be hitting it off.

Until next week.

Hey, there's something off

with that guy.

Pelle, you know how I feel.

Maybe his one leg is shorter
than the other,

but there is something...

Hey! You focus on your own role.

And remember the party.

Yeah, yeah.

Start using a calendar.
I can't keep reminding...

Yeah, yeah.

They have kids, they are having a party.

I am interested.

Bye then.

Hello again.

What are you doing here?

I always go for a morning swim
before work.

Morning swim?

Funny,
I haven't seen you here before.

Yes, I just moved here.

- How about...
- We don't have to talk.

I know some of the guys are friends,

but I'm Maria's lone wolf.

A lone wolf
in a multi-partner relationship.

I'm not in a multi-partner
relationship.

I am in a relationship with Maria.

But not with you, for example.

Good. I wouldn't want
to be in one with you.

If you swim every morning,

you should be fit.

And you're not.

I manage to stay afloat.

A 1K race?

I'm more of a casual swimmer.

Oh, right. No pressure.

It's perfectly natural for Maria
to also want...

non-winners like you.

You know, for balance.

There's yin and there's yang.

Deep.



First one back in sauna wins!

One, two, three, go!

Go, Nuutti!

Good job!

Come and get an apple.

Good!

Have a little snack.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Go for it!

What is Juho's profession?

Take a guess.

Member of parliament?

No.

Policeman?

No.

Surgeon?

No.

Film director?

No!

He's an engineer.

What field?

I don't really know yet.

But Tuukka was cool and so cute.

You dumped a fireman for an engineer.

Juho is on a trial period.
I'll see if he works out.

Go, Nuutti!

You're coming tonight, right?

Whose day is it?

Pelle's day, Tuesday.

I have Tuukka's number,
if you're interested.

Come on.

He started stripping again.

Really?

Finished your 1K?

Yes.

Impressive.

You finished
even without any chance of winning.

There is always a chance.

How were you ever going to win?

Well, if you had bottled it
or had a cramp.

You never know.

Please! I never get cramps.

I keep my salt balance in check.

I am more of a runner, anyway.

- A runner?
- Yes.

Don't let my appearance fool you.

I run distances.

Really long distances.

That's my thing.

Now that we've reviewed
last quarter's statements,

we can move on to the IPO.

As you all know,

going public
will be a major change for us and...

- Maria?
- Mr Chairman,

shouldn't the board be unanimous?

What kind of a question is that?

This is a legitimate question.

Since when have we started to vote
or push for unanimity?

If anyone objects,
they can speak up on their own.

Or are you getting scared?

No,

I'm not.

I feel that these things require voting
since it's not a dictatorship.

Very well.

Anyone objecting the IPO,
raise your hand.

What did I tell you?

There's no point in voting.

Right then.

- Hey!
- Hi.

You'll never guess.

That little shrimp was at the pool.

- Who?
- Who?

Edward Stringyhands.

He claimed he swam every morning.

Are you jealous?

Absolutely not.

I am a shark.
He's like a goldfish.

- Jealousy is forbidden.
- Forbidden, I know.

But I got a weird vibe,

him turning up like that.
It was not a coincidence.

Does he do extreme running?

I don't know. I don't care.

Dear colleagues!

I'd like to get to know you better.

How about a friendly 10K run

where the loser buys the beer?

Why not, my ex has the kids.

Anything but accounting.

Good idea. ETA 7 p.m.?

Why not? I haven't done
any sports in a year.

I'll be there,
at least to provide entertainment.

How about Pelle?

Is your salt balance in check?

Are you giving up?

Okay, runner.
You're about to lose.

We have half an hour,
if you want to take a shower.

Hey, my mom called.

There's something wrong.
She sounded out of it.

I need to skip the baptism.

What can you do?

Bye!

Bye.

Hi!

What are you doing right now?

Nothing.

Would you come
to the baptism with me?

I have nothing planned.
Sure, I'll come.

Good. I'll pick you up.

Bye.

Bye.

- It's a nice night for it.
- Yes, yes.

Toxic masculine turned up.

Welcome, loudmouth.

Great. Where's Edward?

Juno? He just sent a message
that he can't make it.

But it was his idea.

We're still racing, right?

I should be with Maria.

You can give up and leave.

Are you scared, Pelle?

Okay, b*stards. Let's go!

What is the distance?

Until one of us pukes.

Ha ha. Seriously?

Until we soil ourselves.
Or break a leg.

Or Pelle starts to cry...



- Who's starting?
- Me.

Which commands?

Ready, steady, go!

Good Lord!

Come on in.
Wonderful, Maria!

- And it's nice to meet you, Pelle!
- I am Juho.

Wasn't Pelle coming today?

Well, I am a stand-in.

Here's a little present for the baby.

Nuutti!

Take off your coats.

Damn, you made it!

Maria and... I'm Jenni.

Right, Juho.

Maria told me about you,
and probably all about me.

Well, not everything.

I can't chat now.
I need to decorate the sandwich cake.

I'd do it, but I'm allergic to fish.

Like everything else.

I'm not allergic to fish.

How nice!

I mean, I could finish the cake...

Okay! Let's go to the kitchen,
and I'll show you.

Come on in.

I can do sweet cakes just fine.

Right.

Oh, you!

Come on in.

He's okay,
but he's not like Tuukka.

Do you have a fireman obsession?

No, I'm just thinking about you.

- He's just so ordinary.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Have you made one before?

Well... No, I haven't.

Can you make a cake for my birthday?

Sure, if it's on Monday.

- Is it finished?
- Almost, yes.

- An ugly cake.
- It's not ugly, you're ugly!

The priest is running late,
so help yourselves to coffee.

Be my guests.

And who might you be?

Rat princess.

A what?

- Wrath princess.
- Wrath princess.

Want to come here? Hop on up!

- And you, what are you?
- A bouncer.

Is your Daddy a bouncer, too?

No.

What a peculiar cake.

I think it's great.

How is your mother?

Everything is fine.

She had left her keys inside

and was outside in the cold
but all's good.

- Are you at the party?
- Yes.

I'll be right over.

No need now.

What?

No need.

Let's see your ID!

What?

You are a good stand-in.

Thanks. I enjoy being here.

How are things with Maria?

Good.

Great, actually.

I am jealous.

If I had six days a week off from Jenni,

I'd snap them up.

I'd start working out
and looking human again.

I would be happy.

I wouldn't mind spending
more time with Maria.

The priest's here!

The priest is here!

- Welcome, Reverend!
- I'm no Reverend.

- Maria!
- What's the matter?

And you...

- You as*h*le, you tricked me!
- What do you mean?

I should be here, not you!

You had to help your mother.

Is she okay?

What is wrong with you?

He screwed me over!
He tricked me into a race,

so he could come here with you!

What race?

I asked the guys out for an evening jog
but you needed help.

How's your mother involved?

She's not.

So you lied to me to go for a jog!

Not a jog, a race!

- Did you win?
- Yes!

Take a hike.

- But I...
- Go!

Oh... I'm sorry.

Evening!

And you, piss off!

Sorry about that.

- Welcome.
- Sorry I'm late.

That's alright. Come on in.

Look at those two.

Does it hurt?

Not at all.

I don't feel a thing.

Did you trick Pelle?

I don't think so.

I'm angry with you.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am.

Well...

Sorry!

Let me grab this.

MONDAY

Hello!

Hi.

- What did you crash into?
- Pelle.

I have, too, at the circus,

twice.

What are we doing here?

I have a thousand things to do.

If Maria wants a meeting,
we're having a one.

Are we waiting for Pelle?

No need.

Why not?

Here's the situation:

I dumped Pelle.

Excuse me?

What did he do?

Pelle had to go.

Sorry, I'm not following.
Aren't we enough for you?

- Are we getting another new member?
- No.

No, no new members.
Juho is getting Pelle's day.

This changes the rules.
We should vote.

According to whom?

Juho now has two days,

and you still have yours.

I have no other reasons
to change the arrangement.

Pelle had to go, because he lied to me.

Big mistake.

There have been big changes
in a short period of time.

I am sorry.

She's f*cking ridiculous.

- What?
- I'm pissed off.

Pelle's torch has been snuffed.

- Juho! Wait a minute.
- It's my day today.

We know. Do you have a hobby yet?

This wasn't my idea.
Maria wanted this.

But did you get a hobby?

- Like swimming or reading?
- Yes.

- I haven't decided yet.
- Decide.

- Juho?
- Yes?

- Take this seriously.
- Of course.

Now, you can go.

Thank you.

Maria!