03x04 - I Am the Night!

[bunniefuu]

NORA: Previously on Moonshine

RYAN: You cancelled all my bookings!

CRYSTAL: You just need

to find your own thing.

ANI: I think this is

a Viking dagger, a Scramasax.

We'd need expert confirmation.

CRYSTAL: She's running for

President of the Foxton Cove

Business Association.

OSCAR: I thought she

would need me more.

I was supposed to be her nurturer,

her mighty pillar!

Instead I feel more

like a rotting porch.

You just promised Rhian

that you would not aid in the

obliteration of the Moonshine.

And now all of a sudden

you are the lead architect?

The last thing I need is my own sister

stabbing me in the back, again!

Lidia (V.O.): They say creativity

is an unlimited resource.

The muse is generous and

she bestows endless gifts

upon those willing to put in the work.

But everyday h*-hum

creativity is one thing.

When you seek the

spark of true genius,

that b*tch can be elusive.

["DRAGGIN' THE LINE"

BY TOMMY JAMES PLAYING]

Makin' a livin' the old hard way ♪

takin' and givin' my day by day ♪

I dig snow and rain

and the bright sunshine ♪

♪

Draggin' the line

(DRAGGIN' THE LINE) ♪

♪

My dog Sam eats purple flowers ♪

we ain't got much

but what we got's ours ♪

Lidia (V.O.): But while

she may be elusive,

the artist needs to be ready,

a vessel primed

for when lightning strikes,

because when it does

♪

Draggin' the line

(DRAGGIN' THE LINE) ♪

Yes

I feel fine,

I'm talkin' 'bout peace ♪

- [LOUD HAMMERING]

- [MUSIC SUDDENLY STOPS]

sh*t! Are you kidding me?

What are you doing?

Evicting you.

[SCOFFS]

["BAD SIDE OF THE MOON"

BY APRIL WINE PLAYING]

This is my life, my life ♪

this is my life, this is my life ♪

this is my life, my life ♪

[LOUD HAMMERING]

LIDIA: Look, Rhian,

I know you're a little upset.

RHIAN: I get, uh, "a little upset"

about stepping in goose dung.

This is a little blood rage.

You're a traitor.

The second you accepted

that job with our enemy

is the second you

stopped receiving the perks

of being a part of this family.

Um, FYI

A shitty old trailer

is the opposite of a perk.

And do I need to

remind you that I own 43%

of said shitty trailer,

and this campground?

You can't evict me!

- Actually, I can.

- And how's that?

'Cause I'm agod.

That's acting governance

operating delegator.

I have full discretion about who

gets to stay in this campground

regardless of ownership.

If you have a problem with that,

you can appeal to the FCBA.

Oh, wait! That's me!

I was just appointed president!

Ha-ha! Appeal denied!

- [LOUD HAMMERING]

- [LIDIA TAKES DEEP BREATH]

You know what? Fine! That's just fine.

I need an environment

to be creative, anyway.

Being around your psychosis

is disruptive to my process!

[SIGHS]

See ya never!

[HAMMERING CONTINUES]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[SIGHS]

♪

Oh, no

RHIAN: You should

have seen her, Oscar,

walking off with nothing but

a broken-down lawn chair.

How much do you think we can

rent Lidia's trailer out for?

Do we have to disclose

that somebody died in it?

Well, now you're the president

of the Foxton Cove

Business Association,

you can sort of just

make your own rules.

Another perk!

Now I have the power

to Bury Wesworld in red tape.

At the very least,

it gives Ani more time

to have the Moonshine

declared a historical site.

I'm drunk with power and the

party's just getting started!

Woot!

Woot

Oh!

Speaking of power

Did you contact the local news

to inform them of

my political ascension?

Oh [SIGHS]

I completely forgot.

My God, I can't do anything right.

EMPLOYEE: [ON WALKIE-TALKIE] Rhian!

RHIAN: I prefer "Madame President."

And don't forget to say "over." Over.

EMPLOYEE: There's some

man-jamming happening

in the woods behind cabin #8.

Assholes!

Didn't even invite me! Over over.

On it over and out.

Um

Do you think you can

deal with this?

Yeah!

Already done

Hun.

Okay.

♪

♪

♪

OSCAR: Okay

let's see what's going on.

[MEN CHEERING AND YELLING]

[MEN HOWLING AND BARKING]

[MEN HOWLING AND BARKING]

Gentlemen! We have a guest

Pack!

[GRUNTING]

OSCAR: Gah!

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMS]

LIDIA: Booked till Thanksgiving? Ugh.

Okay, well, can I leave you my number

in case something opens up?

Hello?

He hung up! So rude.

It's like there's a "no vacancy" sign

hanging over this entire province.

It's high season, sweetheart.

You know every B&B owner

on the south shore.

Can you maybe pull some strings

with the Shiny Birch?

Lance and Bev are out of the biz.

Seems someone built

a big luxury hotel on their bay.

Not that we'd know

anything about that.

Dad, I know you're worried

about me taking this job.

What makes you so sure

that we're not gonna end up

like Lance and Bev, out on our a*s?

This Wes character, I don't know.

Kids from wealthy

families can be dangerous.

Too much to prove.

Too much to lose.

What about kids

from non-wealthy parents?

School of hard knocks keeps us wise.

Dad, I promise it will be okay.

Okay.

You can crash in the loft

above the workshop.

There's a couple of cots

and a card table up there.

It's where I used to hide when

I messed up with your mother.

It's still on Moonshine grounds.

No way am I giving Rhian

the satisfaction

of kicking me out twice.

Hmm.

Hold on.

Maybe I can camp

- Oh

- Hmm!

Pitch a tent in the woods,

that grove where we

used to play as kids.

- Finn and El would love that.

- Those old woods?

Cold, boggy

The Old Wells.

It's perfect.

I've been having trouble

getting creative lately.

This can be my chance

to be one with the landscape.

If I'm gonna build it, I need to

I need to be it feel it!

ELEANOR: Mom?

Why is our trailer boarded up

and all of our sh*t's in the dumpster?

Oh, uh, 'cause

Welcome home!

♪

LIDIA: Okay.

Alright, I just gotta

Put the pole-amajiggy in the hole.

Is pole "pole-amajiggy"

an actual architectural term?

Can't we just Google the instructions?

[SCOFFS]

And Rob ourselves of

the joy of problem-solving?

Like, this is a teachable

moment, kids.

- [METALLIC BANG]

- Fark!

You were saying?

I was saying you can't

Google the smell of pine.

ELEANOR: Just did.

The scent comes mostly

from a chemical compound

called terpenes.

[PHONE RINGS]

Oh, it's work. I gotta get this.

Oh, hey, Wes!

What's shakin'?

WES: Hey.

Just wanted to check in

on my favourite architect.

How's the redesign coming?

LIDIA: Oh, it's coming

Um, funny you should call.

I'm actually in my office

working as we speak.

WES: Great.

I want to get my father on board

with the new concept ASAP.

Is Monday doable?

Doable? More like doneable!

[CHUCKLES] k*ller.

Talk soon.

You bet! Ta-ta!

Okay, let's be real, mom.

The only reason why we're camping

is because Rhian evicted us.

From our ancestral home.

Is that legal?

LIDIA: Okay, yes, fine,

Rhian is in a little blood rage.

Her words, not mine.

Well, can you blame her?

You took a job building

a multi-million-dollar resort

on delicate wetland

Well, maybe I'm making sure

a very wealthy developer

doesn't build with impunity.

I'm making sure that the new resort

doesn't compete with

said ancestral home.

For an unhoused person

wearing an ankle monitor

with a rap sheet,

you're awfully cheery.

I'm dealing with adversity

in a positive way.

FINN: Well, regardless of the reason,

I'm actually psyched to camp, mom.

Thank you, Finn!

Anything to get my mind

off of Petko Nenov.

He's this flautist prodigy

from Bulgaria

who thinks he's

God's gift to woodwinds.

Ah, that's the spirit!

Leave your baggage

at civilization's doorstep.

In the sanctuary of nature,

it's only good times!

[GRUNTS]

I googled the tent. It's inside-out

And upside-down.

[SIGHS] ba*ls.

Oh, no

Hey!

You've been staring off

into the middle distance

since I passed by two hours ago.

Is this wake and bake or

Actual crisis?

RYAN: Both.

Just Crystal is totally

rocking her thing,

and I almost kind of ruined her thing.

So now I've been asked

to step back from her thing.

But the thing is, what's my thing?

Is it to just not exist,

to be no thing at all?

I have

No answer to that.

OSCAR: [PANICKED] Guys! Guys! Guys!

RYAN: Whoa, Oscar!

Oscar, are you okay, buddy?

Am I okay?

I have just found the

solution to all my problems.

I have been manthused.

Well, I need a solution.

Could being manthused

be an answer for me, too?

Okay, no, maybe ask what it is first?

Manthusium is a male

empower-men-t group.

Oof, red flag.

It's for men who've lost their way,

which is exactly how I felt

since the twins were born.

It's founded on radical male love.

- Red

- Harnessing the power

of masculinity to

actualize your best self!

- Flag!

- Also, there's mud wrestling.

And they're all staying on

the campground for a retreat.

Okay, just a quick question:

What does mud wrestling

have to do with self-actualization?

No idea.

But tomorrow is all about

finding your inner man-imal.

You guys should both come.

If I bring two guests,

the session's free.

Inner man-imal?

- In!

- Yes!

[GRUNTS]

No, not in! This sounds lame.

Sammy, come on!

Do it for daddy.

Eugh Mm-mm, gross.

- Fine, yeah.

- Yes!

Only out of a sense

of morbid curiosity,

a little bit of pity,

a touch of a*s-dragging.

Ani has me analyzing soil samples.

OSCAR: Sleep well, boys.

Tomorrow

We get manthused!

[LAUGHS]

OSCAR: Yeah!

We are k*lling this!

Even if Rhian asked us

to come home, I'd say no.

The Bennetts have returned

to their essential roots,

our literal roots!

We're not just surviving,

we are thriving.

And this stinks of procrastination.

You're avoiding work.

Ah, it's all part of my

New process

that might not be working.

FINN: Well, what was your old process?

LIDIA: [SIGHS]

Well, I'd draw up a concept doc

and your father would critique it.

I guess there was less

pressure to come up with

something perfect because

he'd usually improve it.

ELEANOR: And what if

he wasn't improving it?

What if he was just

making it different?

Sounds like you're afraid to do

it alone because that would mean

committing to your own voice

and risking failure.

That's why you're

having creative block.

You're good.

So no more procrastination?

Says the woman procrastinating

on writing her final term paper.

FINN: Okay, plain rice cakes

and unsweetened granola.

Is this all we got?

Quality cramming does

require quality junk food.

♪

ANI: sh*t, sh*t, sh*t

- Hey!

- Hey.

Hey, Nora.

You seen Lidia?

I heard something about

camping in the woods.

Hmm, Lidia in the woods

would be riveting content.

But it would also require

me going into the woods,

so hard pass.

Stress vaping?

Mm-hm, know it when I see it.

It's just some grief with the dig.

It's just a lot of pressure

now that there's actual

living humans

whose livelihoods are at stake.

Usually my clientele's been dead

a few thousand years.

Yeah, I feel that.

I used to care about nothing.

Now I have a career

that I give a rat's a*s about

and a man that I love.

It's like ugh!

Can I hit that?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Oh

You know what we need?

- A blowout.

- Hmm.

Work off the stress,

just like old times.

Beer and amaretto car bombs,

maraschino cherries till I puke!

My blowouts consist of half

an edible and skipping yoga.

- I'm not

- no, then it is settled.

We are gonna get sloppy, okay?

You, me, baptism by fire.

You are family now.

Listen, I wish I could,

but I have so much to

catch up on today

alright, tomorrow, then. No excuses.

- But Nora, I really

- No excuses!

♪

Okay, kids.

Prepare for operation

libera los munchies.

My sister has cornered

the snack market in Foxton.

FINN: Rhian won't let us get

within five feet of that shelf.

Which is why we'll need a distraction,

by creating every

mother's worst nightmare

Crying babies.

Hey, little cousins.

- [BABIES BABBLING]

- Don't hate me.

Booga-wooga-woo-woo-woo!

[BABIES CRYING]

LIDIA: Once the coast is clear,

we'll grab our Booty

like bad-a*s bandits.

Boo-ya!

[GLEEFUL SQUEAL]

[BABIES FUSSING]

♪

[DOOR SLAMS]

LIDIA: The key to

operation libera los munchies

is to focus

in, out, no distractions!

RHIAN: Is someone there?

ELEANOR: [IN A WHISPER]

Mom, she's coming.

There isn't time!

LIDIA: [IN A WHISPER] It's rosé!

There's always time.

♪

[GLEEFUL SQUEAL]

♪

♪

- [CRICKETS CHIRPING]

- LIDIA: Woo, victory!

Pass the chips.

FINN: [LAUGHS]

Well, this almost makes up

for you missing Christmas.

I'm really sorry about

my winter of discontent.

But it's all up from here, okay?

I promise.

You know what?

A toast.

This moment isn't about

being housing-challenged,

looming deadlines,

or inadequate parenting.

- It's about

- Pissing off Aunt Rhian?

I'm not out to piss off Rhian.

Not exactly.

What happened with you two?

Oh

I don't even know where to start.

Um

If I had to pinpoint a moment,

I guess the Summer Eats

Poster Contest.

Here we go! Get comfortable.

The prize was a pink pencil case

stuffed with the

finest smelly markers.

I knew if I was gonna

be a famous architect,

I needed that pink beaut.

Rhian wanted it too,

more than anything.

Obsessed.

But my poster won.

Hers just read

"Buy Citrus or rot of scurvy!"

Literally written in her own blood.

We fought about it all summer long.

Mom threatened to take it away,

so finally I just hid it in some tree.

But I hid it so well

even I couldn't find it again.

Rhian refused to believe I'd lost it.

She thought I'd rather destroy it

than let her have it, which

I don't know, looking back

Was kind of true.

I should get to work.

[RADIO PLAYING IN BACKGROUND]

- [MUSIC GOES OFF]

- LIDIA: [GASPS]

What the?

ELEANOR: Did we blow a fuse?

Are there fuses in the woods?

- FINN: Someone unplugged us.

- [TENT DOOR UNZIPS]

- RHIAN: [YELLS]

- LIDIA: God!

You robbed the munchie stand.

And now you die.

Seriously, Rhian?

Yeah, that munchie

stand is my third child.

You woke the twins,

my first and second child,

and now you pay.

It was a couple bags of ketchup chips.

Silence!

Okay, kids, can you please

just give us a second?

LIDIA: [SIGHS]

A bit much, don't you think?

No. You stole Moonshine property.

Do I need to remind you that I own

43%, yeah, and the other 57%

is controlled by moi.

There!

57%, all yours!

Happy?

No, I am not.

We're not kids fighting over

a pencil case anymore, Rhian.

We need to put an end to this.

Oh, you want to put an end to this?

Then go tell those crooks

that you can't design

their ridiculous resort!

That is a surefire way to

get the Moonshine bulldozed.

Will you stop playing

the family saviour

and just admit that

you're doing this for you?

That you are choosing

your ambition over your family?

Your children,

my children, and for what?

So everyone oohs and ahhs,

"Oh, Lidia, she's so talented!"

God, selfish!

You take. You just take, take, take,

take, take like a vampire,

feeding off everyone, everything!

But that's all over now.

I am starving you out.

You're not gonna get

another drop of blood

from the Moonshine. And without us?

Hmph! You're nothing.

Without us,

you won't survive another night.

[SCOFFS]

Survive the night?

I am the night!

Pfft!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[MILITARY DRUMMING]

[GRUNTING AND ANIMAL NOISES]

OSCAR: Alright, did you guys

choose what animal to embody?

I'm going with the mighty stallion.

RYAN: Ooh, good choice, dude!

I'm going with gorilla.

Strong, caring, great pecs.

What about you, little bro-son?

Um starfish?

A starfish isn't

a really man-imal animal.

The prompt was to pick

an apex predator.

Okay, one, stallions

and gorillas are vegetarians.

And two, I mean,

a starfish can push its stomach

outside of its own body!

And it's a star!

[LAUGHS] Okay

I guess I'm just

having a hard time, uh

Taking manthusium seriously.

I mean, if I have to beat my chest

in front of a bunch of guys,

there better at least

be wine and cheese.

So, uh, sorry, you guys

- No, no, Sammy!

- But starfish out.

- Sammy!

- Starfish out!

- Aww!

- Ry, Ry, Ry, it's okay.

Let him go.

Alpha says we have to come

to manthusium in our own time

Our own pace.

Alright, you go first!

Let out your gorilla, Ry.

Okay.

- [TRIBAL DRUMMING]

- [RYAN GRUNTING]

Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah!

[GROWLING]

OSCAR: Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Okay

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

No, no, no, no, no! [SCREAMS]

[GROWLING WILDLY]

Okay! Aah!

Okay, okay!

- [ROARING]

- Uncle!

Uncle!

- Ryan?

- Hi.

- A little help?

- Oh, sorry, dude.

I I got carried away. I

I feel amazing!

Charged!

Ha, you gotta try this!

Come on, dude, unleash your stallion!

Here we go.

Alright. Ahh!

[GROWLS]

[WHINNIES LIKE A HORSE]

That was more like

a donkey than a stallion.

Oh. Right.

[BELLOWS INCOHERENTLY]

Maybe try a different animal?

No, I got this, I got this.

Hang on. [CLEARS THROAT]

[HOLLERS WILDLY]

I need a glass of water.

ANI: Mm someone means business!

When it comes to getting shitfaced,

I've put in my 10,000 hours.

Are are we avoiding?

- Obviously.

- Yeah.

Uh, Terry wants kids

like an addict wants smack,

and family is career suicide,

right, so

Oh, I don't think I'm

qualified to comment on that,

having just reconnected with my

grown-a*s adult son last summer.

Do you regret not having another one?

If I had, I probably wouldn't

be where I am in my career.

- Hmm!

- But I did think about it.

I froze my eggs.

I have a batch chillin' in

a freezer on west 32nd street.

[GIGGLES]

I just assumed my eggs were pickled.

Deviled at minimum.

But I admire an attempt

to control your own fate.

Here's to calling our own shots.

Speaking of shots, it is time

to take things up a notch.

♪

LIDIA: Nothing like a swim

to get those creative juices

flowing, huh?

[GASPS]

FINN: Uh, who took half our tent?

LIDIA: [SIGHS]

57% of the tent

Mom, you got a lot of head vein

action going on right now.

This is fine.

It's fine, fine, fine, fine, fine!

She thinks we can't overcome this?

Ha, I say!

Ha!

Mom, you know we can't

stay here right?

43% of a tent is just

a raincoat and hypothermia.

I need power, for real.

Like, I have a term

paper I need to finish.

You know, some people

pay a mint to camp en plein air.

Can we just go crash at Nora's?

She keeps a key

under the recycling bin.

Really, guys?

Her place smells like

butts and dead pizza.

Mm-hm!

But at least her toilet

isn't a hole in the ground.

Yeah Oh, I get it.

I get it. You you go.

So you're just gonna

stay out here, alone?

Yeah!

I am the night!

Right?

FINN: Okay.

LIDIA: Love you.

- Bye.

- Love you.

[SIGHS]

[EXHALES]

[TEXT MESSAGE NOTIFICATION]

Crushing it.

- Damn!

- Hmm!

Okay. More shots for the ladies!

ANI: No, nope, none for me.

No, no, I'm calling it.

Calling it?

Yeah, it's been fun,

but I have biologically attained

the perfect buzz.

Body mass multiplied by

alcohol consumed over time,

and any more, I will lose control.

Okay, no offence,

but you need to lose control.

You're a freak.

Yeah, I fully admit it.

I don't tell people how I feel,

I pre-clean for the cleaning lady,

and I never go barefoot.

What about the shower?

Okay, where do you

stand on public toilets?

I've actually had to go for hours.

Pathological!

Control is what

keeps my life on track.

I mean, the last time I lost control,

I got pregnant with Sammy.

Great things happen when you unclench.

Okay, just one more.

["COME ON, EILEEN" BY DEXY'S

MIDNIGHT RUNNERS PLAYING]

At this moment ♪

you mean everything ♪

you in that dress ♪

my thoughts, I confess ♪

verge on dirty ♪

ah, come on, Eileen ♪

♪

Yeah!

[DRUNKEN SCREAMING]

What's your deal, Bruce?

Like, you used to be a party animal.

Yeah, then I got sober.

So should you two.

But the night's still young

and I wanna dance with somebody.

NORA: Yeah!

I wanna feel the heat with somebody!

NORA: Oh, yeah!

BOTH: yeah, I wanna

dance with somebody! ♪

Don't you wanna dance?

Say you wanna dance!

Don't you wanna dance?

Dance!

- Party's over.

- Oh, whatever.

You know what, they water

down the drinks here anyway.

- We don't need this!

- Bruce!

NORA: Let's go, let's go.

We're outta here.

ANI: Yeah. Nghh

I'm gonna have

a k*ller headache tomorrow

while I'm writing apology letters

to all the Shore Club staff.

And to Ken.

Dad? Well, what

What do you have to

apologize to him for?

He thinks I don't appreciate him.

I do, I just I don't

want to let anyone down.

Hey, hey!

You did not disappoint

me tonight, sister.

- Okay?

- Mm-hm.

And

Who knew that inside

all that science and biometrics

- [GIGGLES]

- Is just pure chaos theory?

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

You know what else is also inside me?

- Yeah?

- So much pee.

Oh my God, why don't

you just take a piss already?

Listen, you wanna

colour outside the lines?

Now's your chance!

It's gonna be okay.

I promise you.

See?

[URINE TINKLING]

- I'm free-peeing!

- Way to go, professor.

You have earned your

Pee-h-d!

- What?!

- [BOTH LAUGH]

Now you just gotta apply

the squat technique

for the rest of your life.

God, that's something

I never wanted to see.

[ANI AND NORA LAUGH]

Hey, you guys know that there's

a storm coming, right?

Oh, yeah.

I'm pretty sure that it's

Already drizzling!

- A real downpour!

- [BOTH LAUGH]

They got you too, huh? Okay.

Alright, let's go. Let's go!

You can do your pants

back up in the car.

- This is a nice car!

- It's a golf cart, Nora.

A really nice set of wheels.

Son, I got a secret.

Promise you won't tell?

- Okay?

- Shh-shh-shh-shh!

I think I love your dad.

Well, yeah, everyone loves Ken.

No! Ryan!

I love Ryan!

I love Ryan!

NORA: Oh, sh*t.

She really unclenched.

ANI: don't you wanna dance? ♪

[NORA JOINS IN]

say you wanna dance ♪

She'll forget everything

in the morning.

ANI: I love Ryan!

[THUNDER CRASHES]

[RAIN POURING]

KEN: Okay, kid.

Time to pack it up.

Dad!

Why do I keep doing this?

Sitting in the rain like a nutter?

I really thought

I could save everyone

with some brilliant redesign.

Your old man may not have

more than an unfinished

high school education,

but it doesn't take much more

to know that you've got a gift.

You've always had one.

You go after what you want.

You take risks.

I wish I had an ounce of that.

[SOBBING]

I'm still your dad.

I need you to come inside.

No, I need to spend

the night out here.

I need to see this through!

♪

♪

The fire's on if you change your mind.

[WHIMPERS]

[THUNDER CRASHES]

♪

♪

FINN: We were worried sick.

Have you been drinking?

Ah

You almost got me!

Here's a question for you guys

Why have not you two been drinking?

That's the question.

Come on. Come on!

Let's keep this

party truck a-truckin'!

Guys, come on!

God!

Kids are boring!

You know, in 1983, there was

[SIGHS] Get a bucket.

[RAIN POURING]

LIDIA: Ugh I will build a shelter,

because that is what I do!

I build things!

Huh? Oh, yes.

Great, great.

Huh? Oh

Hey, you two, come to mama.

Whoop!

Ugh!

Are you kidding me?!

[DREARY MUSIC]

Ha!

Got ya!

♪

A-ha!

- [CREAKING SOUNDS]

- Huh?

- [LOUD CRACK]

- [SCREAMING]

[SPLASH]

OSCAR: Babe What are you doing?

Sentinel duty.

In case Lidia retaliates,

I need to be prepared.

Defending this place

single-handedly is no joke.

The lodge has many

tactical weaknesses.

Well, uh

Here if you need me.

Are you, though?

[SIGHS]

Let's be honest, Oscar.

Our sexual extension cord

Has been cut.

Is it that you're

not attracted to me anymore?

What? No, no, Rhi.

Oh God, no.

It's just me.

[SIGHS]

Ever since we've become parents

I've felt like a fourth wheel.

Babe, you are the fourth wheel.

The most important wheel.

Babe, our family is a lawnmower,

and lawnmowers

need four wheels to work.

We need you, Oscar.

I need you. You're you're our man.

[SNORTS LIKE A HORSE]

Did you just snort?

Yeah?

Sorry, I don't know.

I won't do it again.

Do it again!

[WHINNIES]

Again?

- [WHINNIES]

- Yes!

- Oscar!

- [WHINNIES]

Oh, you're a stallion, alright!

This cowgirl needs to ride her bronco.

Keep it going!

- [WHINNIES]

- Yes, yee-haw!

- Oww, oww!

- [LAUGHING AND WHINNYING]

[PANICKED CRYING]

Oh, God!

Oh, no

Help!

Anyone! Help me!

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

[STRAINING]

[SPLASH]

[WHIMPERING]

- Ow!

- [SPLASH]

[SOBBING]

You win.

You win, Rhian!

[SOBBING]

[THUNDER CRASHES]

What the hell?

Pink beaut?

My pencil case?!

[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

[SCREAMS WITH JOY]

♪

[FABRIC RIPPING SOUNDS]

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

♪

♪

[GRUNTING AND SCREAMING]

♪

♪

Oh, God! Yes!

Okay

♪

[STRAINING AND BREATHING HEAVILY]

[STRAINING AND BREATHING HEAVILY]

♪

♪

[THUNDER CRASHES]

♪

♪

[LAUGHS]

♪

♪

♪

[SCREAMS WITH JOY]

♪

I am Lidia Finley-Cullen

and I am the night, damn it!

- [THUNDER CRASHES]

- [LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

Mmm

OSCAR: Morning.

Coffee?

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Thank you, sweety.

So, last night was pretty wild.

Yeah, and not just

on the dusty trails.

The storm was nasty.

The grounds got pretty beaten up.

Lots of downed trees.

I would not want to be

stuck outside last night.

Lidia?

Lidia, I swear to God,

if you're dead, I will k*ll you.

♪

Hello, sister.

You know bushcraft?

[SIGHS] Nature is intuitive.

Plus, I found something

I thought I had lost forever.

Hmm!

Your sanity?

[GIGGLES] My muse.

Recognize this?

Pink beaut?

Yeah.

It should have been mine.

It should have been ours.

Your poster on the benefits

of citrus curing scurvy

was actually genius.

Rhian, I'm not out to take

anything away from you

or to destroy our family.

I promise to protect us.

Am I doing this for me?

Yes.

But I'm also doing it for you,

and for your babies, and mine.

For all of us.

♪

♪

And here

You deserve this.

Maybe you always did.

♪

♪

Hmm. Take a sniff!

You know you want to.

[LOUD SNIFF]

Yeah!

[GRUNTING AND CHEERING]

RYAN: Ahh, wow!

What a weekend!

[GRUNTS]

[INDECIPHERABLE YELLING IN BACKGROUND]

Oh-h*-h*, drive safe, guys!

[EXHALES]

Uh good weekend?

Transformational, little bro-son.

Manthusium is frickin' core!

Core?

I'm just sorry you couldn't

unlock your beast, buddy.

Oh, I, uh I wouldn't say that.

Really? It worked?

Oh, yes!

Alright, next chapter meeting,

you and me, together.

Until then, man-rilla must devour!

[GRUNTING]

We were at the same retreat, right?

Yeah.

[TEXT MESSAGE NOTIFICATION]

Oh my God!

I thought you were done.

You're not making more changes,

are you?

No, I'm not done till the last

nail is hammered, sweety.

"Rediscovering

the childhood wonder of nature."

That's actually really pretty good.

♪

I actually really appreciate that!

ANI: [SIGHS]

What's on your mind, Prof?

[EXHALES DEEPLY] Apply the squat

What?

The Scramasax isn't a Viking relic,

it's a replica from the 1870s

made of bog iron

that fooled my naked eye.

I was wrong.

Well, that blows.

I'm sorry.

And here I thought

it was all my fault.

Why?

Well, for one,

I have no clue what I'm doing.

Never have.

Don't let the 'stache fool you;

I'm free-falling

like the rest of them.

But, uh Mea culpa.

We'll find a way.

We always do.

But how? The dig is over.

There's

Well, now that you're

an honorary member

of the Finley-Cullen family,

I can let you in on a trade secret.

Which would be?

It's called the workaround, kiddo.

♪

♪

SAMMY: And then there was

this one guy who kept roaring

and calling himself

the ultimate man-atee.

But what I really wanna know

is how manthusiastic

the starfish is about meeting me,

the man-ta ray?

Rawr!

Shut up!

But seriously, I mean,

watching this group of guys

terrified that they're

not adhering to some

- bullshit machismo ideals

- [PHONE RINGS]

Oh, speaking of bullshit machismo

It's my father.

I'll be right back.

Okay.

Daddy-o?

You like the plans?

Yeah.

No, I haven't told her yet.

No, Dad, we can't.

No, no, let me.

Let me do it, alright?

Let me tell them.

[SIGHS] Fine!

♪

SAMMY: Tell who what?

Nothing.

Nah, it's nothing

for you to worry about.

Um, I'm gonna go

Take a walk.

Sure.

♪

♪

♪

♪