01x04 - Game of Privileges

[bunniefuu]

Friday nights under the
lights are a big deal

in Shenandoah, Pennsylvania.

More than any other event,

high school football
unites our community.

Everyone played football.

Or everyone tried
playing football.

We were always competitive.
We were always winning.

But then, the truth
started coming out.

Everything kind of
went right downhill.

People were divided.

I realized that I
couldn't trust anybody.

Hey, these are the
football players.

They're allowed to do
whatever they want.

They're just untouchable.

That might be good.
That might be bad.

But it's the way it is
in Schuylkill County.

I've lived in Shenandoah

since I was about
seven years old.

Everybody got along

and like, it's a small town vibe

where everybody knows everybody.

It's Friday night football,

Sunday was supposed to be
church and then with family,

things like that.

The people in Shenandoah
love block parties.

Churches have them.

Sometimes, fire
companies have them.

And that night in Shenandoah,
there was one going on.

The Polish-American always brings
a good crowd to their block party.

And there's always a good amount
of people there every night.

You got pierogies,
you've got haluski.

It was a mix of people, there was,
you know, whites, Blacks, Mexicans.

Everyone's getting along
having a good time.

A little fun and games,
bingo, stuff like that, booze.

That night, we were all
hanging out the block party,

me and all the football players.

So all the guys,

they had boosted up a
little bit in the woods

before they came
to the block party.

It was probably about
ten o'clock at night.

My curfew, my time to go home.

So, I walked up the street,

guys walked down the street
towards the Line Street Park.

It's not a fancy park.

It's just two basketball
courts with a swing set.

Me and Luis,

we spent the day together with
the kids and stuff in town.

And then we came home and
I had put the kids to bed.

He told me he would
be back that evening.

He said he was going
to be with his friend.

And then he had called me and told
me that he was on his way home.

And I forget why,

but for some reason I tried
to call him right back

and it just kept
going to voicemail.

I heard screaming.

I mean, very loud screaming.

I looked out the window
and I saw a crowd,

a group of people,

but I saw someone in the middle.

He's getting beat pretty bad.

I heard the thuds.

It was just horrible.

At that time, I grabbed the phone
and I'm going out to the door.

And I got 911 on the phone

and I said, "Look," I said,
"someone's getting beat,

call for an ambulance."

I hear people running.

You know, you could hear the sneakers
on the road and stuff like that.

I went over to him and
I knelt down to him.

Oh, my gosh! It was horrible.

You could tell he got
kicked in the head.

I could see him
just lying there.

I'm sitting in my house

after putting my
children to bed.

And next thing, I know my phone
rings and it's Luis's best friend.

And he told me to get
down there right away.

I kept saying, "Why?
What is going on?"

And he's like, "He's on the
ground, he won't wake up."

And I, first, I thought
they were joking around.

And he's like "No, I promise.
Get down here, get down here."

When the Shenandoah
police arrive on scene,

the victim is laying on
the asphalt unconscious.

He has severe injuries,
trauma to his head.

Officer Jason Hayes

and Lieutenant Bill Moyer
responded to the scene.

I was still waiting for
the ambulance to come.

And when the police car came,

I went over to him and I says,

"Can you expedite the ambulance?

This guy has been
waiting for a while."

Finally, the ambulance came up.

I just remember
turning the corner

and seeing blue and
red flashing lights.

And a bunch of people.

There had to be
close to, in my head,

it was like 30-50
people standing there.

And I just happened to
look down at the ground,

and Luis was on the ground.

I didn't know if
he had just fell

or if something bad,
worse had happened.

I didn't understand
what was going on.

After EMS arrive on scene,

then they do transfer
him from the scene

to a hospital, so they
could treat his injuries.

Luis is in very
serious condition.

They're trying to do
anything to save him,

which included removing
a portion of his skull

to ease the swelling
on his brain.

When I first got to
Geisinger Hospital,

it was the early morning hours.

The doctor explained everything
to me what was going on.

So, in my mind, I thought "Okay, well,
he'll be fine. He's not deceased.

They're doing surgery
now, he'll be okay."

In that moment in time, I
still didn't understand it.

I don't think, my mind
let me comprehend it.

When they finally brought
him into the recovery room

and they let me
go in to see him,

that was, I think,
one of the hardest

moments of my life
to see him like that.

He was hooked up to
all these machines.

He wasn't answering
me, he didn't move.

It was... he was there,
but he wasn't there.

So, then I just sat with him, and I
talked to him, and I held his hand,

and I told him we loved him.

And that the kids just
wanted him to come home.

And they told me that he
had no brain activity.

And that they were going to
take him off life support.

It seemed like it all ended

within a matter of
seconds, like he was gone.

The next day I had about 50
missed calls when I woke up.

And 89 million text messages.

"Hey, what's going on? What
did you do last night?"

Like this and that.

A couple of text messages I
received that morning was,

"Hey, somebody died last
night, did you k*ll somebody?"

So, then, you know, I'm in a
panic like, "What is going on?

Somebody died last night."

So, on Monday, when I walk into
the district attorney's office,

my boss and the detectives
are talking about the case.

That's when I first learned
that witnesses have identified

everyone that's involved
is a football player

from Shenandoah High School.

Derrick Donchak, he
played quarterback.

Played very well for
the team that year.

Brandon Piekarsky, he
played wide receiver.

He had a very bright
future ahead of him.

Running back, Brian Scully.
He's a good athlete.

The following year would
have been his year.

Colin Walsh, he would
be a junior that year.

He was a wide receiver.

He was one of the
fastest kids on the team.

Catch anything thrown at him.

Knowing that the
individuals involved

were a major part of
the football team,

football team was gonna
be impacted very severely.

The guy died, so we thought
they were going to get charged

with, you know, a m*rder
charge or something like that.

We heard that
after Ramirez died,

one of the responding
police officers said,

"There goes the
football season."

That's how important

it was in the social
consciousness.

You know, cops are famous
for gallows humor, but

the...

that stood out.

Nobody appreciated
the seriousness

at the time of what had happened

or the nature of the maelstrom that was
going to descend on Shenandoah, as a result.

A friend of mine
called and he said,

"Something's going on,
something big is going on.

I can't talk right now."

Hang up and that was,
that was all I got.

So after... the way he said
it and the way it came out,

I knew something was going on.

The first time I heard
about Luis Ramirez,

probably was over
the police scanner.

And Schuylkill County,
everybody has their scanners.

Police will call
in and, you know,

they'll hear it over the radio and
that's kind of how rumors spread.

It was just kind of, "Oh, yeah.

There was like a Hispanic
man that was beaten up."

There wasn't like a lot of details
about what actually happened.

Luis came from Mexico.
Eremenko Guanajuato in Mexico.

He came to Shenandoah
wanting a better life.

He was kind and funny, he tried to
let everything just flow off his back.

He was calm, relaxed.

But he had a huge
goofy side to him.

Technically, my second
two youngest are Luis',

but he raised my oldest
daughter Angelina

from the time she
was two months old.

We were actually friends for a
little bit before he met her.

But he had came
up to my apartment

and asked me if we could
watch movies with her.

And he just pulled her
out of her playpen.

And they just played
and I don't know,

it just, it took my breath away

and from then on I was in love.

Shenandoah is an old
coal mining town.

It was about one square mile

and at one time 30,000
people lived there.

As of now, Shenandoah
has about 6,000 people.

It was becoming increasingly
populated by Hispanics.

And I guess you could say
there was some tension there.

I call it Shendo but most
people call it Shenandoah.

Shendo is very big on
things staying the same.

And with people coming
in from other countries,

I guess a lot of them took it as if
they were kind of like taking over.

Me and Luis, we would talk about
what we wanted for our kids

and make sure that like, we gave
our kids the best life possible.

Like a normal life
in a normal family.

But it was cut short.

We soon learned that the
police did not interview

the football players right away.

They were interviewed
one at a time

and I believe some of
them had a bigger gap

in between their interviews.

Brian Scully,

one of the teens, wasn't interviewed
until a few days after the incident.

He says Luis Ramirez and one of his
friends are on a swing in the park.

And verbal exchange started.

And Ramirez is irate
and out of control.

And attacks them and essentially
they are defending themselves.

Scully says Ramirez
was the instigator,

that there was no kicking,

there were no racial slurs
uttered during the incident.

And lastly, that
there was no alcohol

imbibed by the teens that night.

The story is that,

"You know, we did everything
right, that we were just,

you know, defending
ourselves."

High school football

is kind of like everything,
it was everything to me.

Our team was called the
Shenandoah Valley Blue Devils.

To play for Shenandoah
Valley was always a big deal

and they were always competitive,
we were always winning.

I was a high school football
player at Marian Catholic.

My sophomore year,
we played Shenandoah.

So, I knew that Friday
nights under the lights

are pretty big deal here
in Schuylkill County.

High school football brings
the community together

in a way that no
other sport does

and really no other event
does in this county.

Touchdown.

The town held the football
team to the highest standard.

You know, they always looked out
for the guys on the football team.

And there was a lot of the
community who was like,

"There's no way they
could be capable of this.

They're our high school boys.
They're, you know, our team."

The boys grew up, their
parents lived here.

Their grandparents lived here.

Their great
grandparents lived here.

They'll know if not
only if you played,

but if your dad played football,

that's how the boys were seen.

The boys were the heroes.

There was a sense that
Mr. Ramirez was an outsider.

Everyone kept on saying,

"Oh, it was just
a fight gone bad."

And saying, "Well, he didn't
belong here, you know?

And if he wasn't here, he
wouldn't be dead today."

That's exactly what
they were saying.

Exactly what they were saying.

There was a very uneasy
feeling everywhere you went.

You know, some people were like,
"He was an ill*gal immigrant.

He shouldn't have
been here anyway."

They were pretty supportive
of the boys in town.

The people that were involved
with what happened to Luis,

I didn't know them.

They were way
younger than I was.

The police officers,
I knew them.

The one I knew really
well, Mr. Moyer.

But I didn't know the other
one, Mr. Hayes, that well.

Officer Hayes, brought me
into the police station

and he told me that he was the only
one trying to help me get answers.

That if he found out anything,
he would let me know right away.

That account that was
provided by the teens.

That there are no racial slurs.

There's no kicking and
there was no booze involved.

That account didn't
match up with anything

that an unbiased or
third-party witness was saying.

During the 911 calls,

multiple witnesses
saw an individual

that was on the ground being
kicked by, by multiple people.

According to the 911
callers who were seeing this

and hearing bits and pieces
of it as it was ongoing.

There was a physical as*ault.

This was very much five
on one, six on one.

One of the individuals
involved in the fight

was verbally
abusing Mr. Ramirez.

And Mr. Ramirez when he
came at Brian Scully,

walked basically into Colin
Walsh who threw a punch

knocking Luis Ramirez
down on the ground.

There were eyewitnesses
who saw the players kicking

Ramirez repeatedly while
he was on the ground.

And they were about to leave
at that point, it's over.

And a football player,
in what was described

variously as like a soccer
type kick or a football punt,

came up and kicked Ramirez
in the head as hard as he,

as hard as he could.

The medical examiner
testified later that

the kick to the head
at the end of the fight

is what resulted
in Ramirez's death.

To those of us on the
investigative team,

we came to understand
that as the coup de grace.

When I found out how
he had gotten k*lled,

I started to have nightmares.

And I just had a lot
of trouble after that.

I struggle with that still.

Kicking a defenseless
individual in the head

as they're laying
motionless on the ground.

That shows malice.

This is m*rder.

There was a big question
who k*lled Luis Ramirez.

Who delivered the fatal kick
to the side of his head?

Brandon Piekarsky,

Derrick Donchak,

Colin Walsh,

or Brian Scully?

At that point, the
District Attorney's office

is working with the
Shenandoah Police Department.

We did receive the initial
reports which included

written statements from
eyewitnesses to what took place.

So, Arielle Garcia,

one of the witnesses
wrote that someone,

she couldn't identify
specifically who it was,

had kicked Luis in the head as
he was laying on, on the asphalt.

There were witnesses that said
that after the incident, the teens,

they run off into a park

and Eddie Nye, one
of the witnesses,

he's telling 911 where
they're running off to.

I was there and I was surprised

because I would think there would
be lights and sirens or something.

But there was no urgency
in any of the officers.

They never asked me anything.

If I identified anything,
if I knew anybody.

You know, not what
direction they went on.

Not, nothing.

I said, "If you go down
to the baseball field,

you'll probably
catch all of them."

Because I said, "They
ran over the hill."

And he says, "Just wait."

The police investigation
was not done well.

I don't think they really had
any investigation that night.

And then we learned
that Officer Hayes,

who was one of the first
officers to arrive on scene,

was de facto stepfather
of one of the suspects,

Brandon Piekarsky.

Officer Hayes was
involved in a relationship

with Brandon Piekarsky's mother.

And then, we learned
that the suspects

had a really good relationship
with Officer Moyer.

They had known him for years

because they played football
with Officer Moyer's son.

The night of the incident,

we found out the police officers

had all the suspects stopped
at Derrick Donchak's house.

He was the starting
high school quarterback.

The District Attorney's
office was amazed

because it just wasn't
proper police procedure.

The next day, there
was another meeting

at Brandon Piekarsky's house.

The teens and their
parents had a pretty good

understanding of how
bad Luis' condition was.

They were scared.

They wanted to
protect each other.

They formulated the specifics of the
story that they were gonna provide.

"We're gonna tell them the story, but
the story is not gonna have booze.

The story's not gonna have racial
slurs, it's not gonna have kicking.

And Ramirez was the
instigator in it."

And, you know,
they stuck to that.

They could have filed
charges that night.

They didn't do that.

And they let these boys

have multiple opportunities to
try and coordinate their story.

We had some
difficulty in getting

the Shenandoah
investigative file.

The DA had to
actually, write letters

to the Chief of
Police indicating

that he needed reports
from Officer Jason Hayes

and Lieutenant Bill Moyer.

It took us approximately
three weeks

to get a full
updated police report

from the Shenandoah
Police Department.

The reports kind
of blew us away,

because it was the first time

that we had seen that,
according to them,

Arielle Garcia
identified Brian Scully

as the individual that
threw the final fatal kick.

There are rumors going around

that the police are
trying to pin it on Brian.

The story for the
fall guy was that, uh,

he was going to be the one
who kicked Luis Ramirez

when he was down and they were
trying to pin that on him.

They meant to protect their own.

Meaning, Brandon Piekarsky, because
Jason Hayes was dating Brandon's mother.

As I recall, Donchak's family's
place in the community,

they were well known
and successful.

On or around August 5th,

we asked Brian Scully to
come in for a re-interview.

And we essentially tell
him that the gig is up.

I mean, people have come
clean and told us the truth.

He says, "If you're not gonna believe
me, you're not gonna believe me."

And he stormed out and
his defense attorney said,

"Let me talk to Brian.

And see if he'll come around."

If there was to be an
indictment and a trial,

the District Attorney's
office needed one of the boys

to come clean and
acknowledge what he did.

It wasn't more than
a few hours later,

Brian Scully's defense
counsel called up and said,

"Hey, we want to come in."

The next day, Brian Scully
comes in with his counsel.

He opens up to us at that point.

Brian indicates to us that they
started shouting at Luis Ramirez

to go back to Mexico.

This is Shenandoah, this is
America. Things along those lines.

And there's also
Scully telling us that

Ramirez is being kicked
while he's on the ground.

So, the next step is to
reach out to the other teens,

Donchak and Piekarsky.

They say that they didn't
want to talk to us.

Walsh eventually agrees
to do the sit-down.

And Walsh confirms everything
that Scully, uh, said.

Colin Walsh threw a punch,

knocking Luis Ramirez
down on the ground.

And then, Brandon
Piekarsky kicked

Luis Ramirez in the
side of the head

and a large crack was heard.

So, now we have an
account that has booze,

it has racial slurs,
it has kicking.

We filed our charges.

And we alleged that Brandon
Piekarsky was the individual

that threw the final kick

that led to the eventual
death of Luis Ramirez.

That went off like
a nuclear b*mb.

The thing that caught national
attention pretty quickly

was the nature of the as*ault,

involving a group
of football players

in an area where
football was king.

There was some
national attention.

National sympathy
for Luis Ramirez.

But it was not local.

And the boys were
the hometown heroes.

Attorneys for 17-year-old
Brandon Piekarsky

and 19-year-old Derrick Donchak

say their clients
are not responsible

for the death of Luis Ramirez,

an ill*gal immigrant
from Mexico.

Prosecutors say the two teens

brutally beat the 25-year-old
who died two days later.

There was a huge divide in the
community with, you know, taking sides.

"Well, they didn't do
it. They didn't mean to,

you know, It was,
it was a fight."

I feel like a lot of people wanted
to kinda take the boys' side.

Some people took Brian
telling his story to the DA

as a good thing that he did.

"He's taking with the blame
and he's telling the truth."

Other people are, "He's a rat.
He's ratting on his friends."

We came out to support
the boys who are on trial.

And their families and
let them know that,

you know, we believe that the
boys acted in self-defense.

And it was like a big secret.

No one was allowed to suggest

that there was a m*rder in
town or anything like that.

They had protests.

And shirts made up
"Free the boys."

Something like that.

They had a pretty good
support system behind them.

People wanted to push past it

and they wanted to see
us still play football.

They wanted to see
the year go on.

The State trial starts
late April of 2009.

And, you know, cases never go
the way that you want them to go.

But in this case, I would
come home and talk to my wife

and be like, "This
stuff that's happening

in this case, that
doesn't happen.

Nothing like that
could ever happen."

And there I was

and it was happening.

The people united will
never be defeated.

Luis, amigo!

It's nice to know that so many people
care about something like this.

And it shows people that
things like this do happen.

And that something needs
to be done about it.

There were national civil
rights groups advocating

on behalf of Latinos and
Hispanics that immediately

were concerned about
the ramifications

and the significance of
the as*ault on Mr. Ramirez.

I hoped by going on TV, I hoped that
more people would open up their eyes

to the reality of it all.

That people would come together.

That things would get better
as my children got older.

During the trial, we had
to listen to the 911 tapes.

And I had to listen to how
serious his injuries truly were.

And that was very
difficult for me.

And then, Brandon Piekarsky
and Derrick Donchak acted like

they didn't, they
weren't even sorry.

They sat there and they giggled,

and they goofed off in
the middle of the trial.

It seemed like nobody truly
cared what had happened.

Nobody was affected by it,
nobody was bothered by it.

It got pretty tense
during the trial.

Everyone walked on eggshells.

You know, even in school
and on the street,

you had to watch what
you said to everybody.

Derrick Donchak and
Brandon Piekarsky

they had support on their
side from Shenandoah.

A lot of people believed that
they didn't do nothing wrong.

Brian Scully and Colin Walsh

both decide to testify
for the commonwealth.

There was a lot of reluctance

that they didn't want to testify
against their, their friends.

But at the trial, they testified

that the teens are the ones that throw
the first punch and initiate the attack.

That Piekarsky threw

the final kick to
Ramirez's head.

The last day of the trial,

it had gotten really late
and I had told my lawyer,

"I have to get home,
my kids are at home.

I have to let the
babysitter leave."

Usually, when I am
waiting for a verdict,

I'm the only one waiting.

I'm the only journalist
waiting for it.

It was much longer than usual.

And there were a lot of other
journalists there to talk with.

When the jury
returned their verdict

on May 2nd, 2009,

they found uh, the defendants not
guilty of all the serious charges.

And only guilty
of simple as*ault

in relation to the,
the beating incident.

Yes, I was right from the start.

That's my comment.

Thank God the jury listened.

It was a surreal experience
when the verdict was read.

The cheering, the clapping,

the yelling, the hugging.

It's hard enough when a not guilty
comes back on in such a serious case.

But it was just magnified by
the reaction that I heard.

A human being was still dead.

And that was hard.
That was really hard.

I was sitting in my living room,

my lawyer called me.

She said, "The
verdict is read."

And she said, "They
were found not guilty."

And I just broke down, I cried.

I couldn't understand
it for the life of me.

It bothered me so much
that people couldn't see

all the facts in front of them
and couldn't find them guilty.

I didn't understand it.

It made me feel like, they all
thought that Luis' life was garbage.

The simple as*ault conviction that Donchak
and Piekarsky got at the state level,

that's 18 months they
got for k*lling somebody.

It clearly got the
attention of the FBI.

It clearly got the attention
of the national press.

And things end in a way that does
not vindicate the Federal interest.

We're certainly going to
be prepared to step in.

And we had been in communication
with the Department of Justice

pretty much the whole time.

And we knew that if a
disfavorable verdict

came out of the state
court proceedings,

that more likely than not, there
was gonna be a federal indictment.

At that point,

I think the emphasis
was on charging

who needed to be charged
for exactly what they did.

We initially started conducting

our own parallel investigation
and went from there.

We started with Luis
Ramirez's death.

Then branched out into a
police corruption matter.

We want to elicit what happened
from people who saw it,

heard it, participated in it.

We want to get at the truth.

When the FBI finally
got involved,

that gave me hope that something
was actually going to be done.

Because I knew they
were investigating

the police officers
that were involved.

Officer Moyer, Officer Hayes.

And Brandon Piekarsky

and Derrick Donchak.

So, I prayed with all my heart
that we were gonna get justice.

We were also cooperating with
the District Attorney's office,

because in order for us to build
a case against the officers,

we need to understand

exactly what the officers
told the DA's office.

Which was wrong, misleading,
incorrect, false.

We basically had to re-interview

everybody that had
been interviewed.

They have to swear that
their statements are true.

Then it puts things in a
whole new dimension for them.

They realized that we're no
longer in Schuylkill County.

We're in the Federal System.

The Shenandoah police claimed
that when they reached the scene,

that they didn't know where the
participants in the as*ault were.

The local police

at best had
conflicting loyalties.

We were able to show that
Eddie Nye had in fact

told the two officers on duty that
night where the suspects were at.

Unbeknownst to the
police officers,

their conversation
with Eddie Nye

got recorded onto the
911 recording line.

Mr. Nye was still on
with the 911 operator

when Lieutenant
Moyer and Jason Hayes

came into contact
with Mr. Nye.

You could hear the 911
operator saying to Mr. Nye,

"Are you talking to the cops?
Are the cops there with you?"

Lieutenant Moyer agreed to come
in for a voluntary interview

and we played the
911 call for him.

He says, "Hey, that's me."

And we're like,
"Yeah, we know."

Well, you would think he's going to
come clean and acknowledge what he did.

That was not the
case with Mr. Moyer.

He continued to
stick to his g*ns.

It didn't do him
any good in the end.

I mean...

it is what it is. His
voice is on the recording.

When law enforcement breaks the
law, they're just another criminal.

When you pin a badge on, you're not
authorized to commit criminal activity.

Based on the fact that
you're a police officer.

I had trusted officer
Moyer before that

because I had known
him for so long

and he always seemed
like a genuine person.

And even when this all
first happened with Luis,

he seemed genuine to me and to
know that they were involved,

it just destroyed my trust.

We would have been
well within, uh,

general practice to indict the cops
along with Piekarsky and Donchak.

But we didn't want what
happened to Mr. Ramirez

to get lost in a longer,

more difficult
story to tell about

what the officers did to
corrupt the investigation.

So, we

did them separately.

The most important thing
about the federal trial

of the football players
Donchak and Piekarsky

was it focused entirely
on the civil rights angle.

They did not retry the
homicide and as*ault charges.

Look, a racial epithet
by itself is not a crime.

You've got to prove the motivation
in the civil rights case.

Brandon Piekarsky
and Derrick Donchak

were visibly shaking and
crying with their faces

in their hands when the
guilty verdicts were read.

I cried a little bit

like tears of joy,
but I was happy.

I had hoped that it was
gonna be a good verdict.

This time, there was no parade.

There was no, you
know, it was quiet.

You weren't allowed
to talk about it.

Because they blamed the media

for why the boys got jail
time and police officers.

Because they said if
there wasn't the media,

it'd have went away
right underneath the rug.

It wasn't just, you know,
one side versus another.

It was a lot of sadness
in our community.

We lost our star football
players of Shenandoah, you know.

Damn, like, these are, you know,
supposed to be my good friends,

my teammates and, you know,

how could they kind
of do this, you know?

And how could, you know,

the people that are
supposed to protect us

also in the same
turn be, you know,

working kind of against us
and trying to cover this up?

The day the fight happened,

I vividly remember the
coaches saying to us,

"Don't do nothing
stupid this weekend."

Then, everyone
said, "Yes, sir."

And to turn around a couple hours
later to do something stupid.

That literally affected...

It affected the whole community.

I could say, it changed
now and everything else.

But, I watch at my park
you don't see a lot of mix.

You don't see the Blacks and the
whites and Hispanics altogether.

You see individual groups,
they're not together.

To be without Luis is hard.

Like, there are some days,
I don't know how to do it.

Like...

I'm sorry.

I think about every Sunday when we used
to take the kids out to eat breakfast.

I think about how he used
to play with the kids.

Think about how it was to
just spend time with him.

To just sleep next
to each other.

I think about all those things.

I wish I could have him longer.