01x07 - The Con Artist Marriage Girl!

[bunniefuu]

What's going on here, Astaroth?

This wasn't the deal!

I-I'm sorry about

the teleportation device.

I really am, Six.

Alice told me the truth!

You sent me here on a hunk of junk

with a success rate of less than half!

I'll get my revenge

when I get back to Earth!

Oh, I know!

The latest volume of God's Blessing

on This Wacky World! is out.

You love this series, right?

Consider it my apology! Okay?

Don't be ridiculous!

So my life is worth a single

volume of KonoSawa?

If you really feel sorry, marry me and

let me be a stay-at-home husband!

Sh-Shut up.

You stop being ridiculous!

And submit a real report!

"Report"

What do you mean

you can't come home yet?

I explained!

I'm the boss here. I can't leave my

cute subordinates and go home.

Supposedly the w*r means

there aren't many men there, right?

And Alice told me that everyone

working for you is really cute.

Forget that, where're my reinforcements?!

That battle was a while ago and I

still only have a single mutant?

What's going on?

We don't have any to spare.

Since we're close to conquering the world,

the heroes have launched

a large-scale counterattack.

Belial and Lilith are fighting on

the front lines. But things look bad.

Actually, we'd like you

to come home, too

I'm an older model,

and washed-up, too.

I couldn't help.

Leave this world to me.

I'm sure you'll do just fine.

This guy

Staying there was your idea,

so you'd better produce results.

And start focusing on our invasion.

How the hell am I supposed

to do that without support?

I can make you cry from here, you know!

Don't talk to me that way

just because we're alone!

Do it if you can, then!

Fine, I will!

--You are ordered to invade

a place to build our base!

--I'll tell you what they call me here!

Zipperman!

Look at this!

I'm sorry! Put that away!

"Episode 7:

'The Con Artist Marriage Girl!'"

We meet again, Agent Six!

Today we finish this, meow!

Fine by me, Tiger Man.

I will fight you with my

deceased subordinate's beloved weapon,

the whatsits-zapper.

I'm not sure she's dead, meow.

Also, it's not fair that you

get a magic sword.

You're a mutant.

You're stronger than us agents.

Give me a little handicap.

Also, cut that "meow" crap, it's annoying.

I heard that if you add "meow"

to all your sentences,

the opposite sex will like you, meow!

Really? Can I do it, too?

If you want, meow.

Okay here I go, Six!

Show me how strong you've gotten, meow!

Fine by me, Tiger Man

Meow!

Oh, sh*t!

It's not my fault!

Hey, Alice! Fix this somehow!

Save us, Alice, meow!

Fine.

Alice-meow has the perfect solution

for you morons.

Glue it back on and then play dumb.

That's perfect!

Six, where are you?!

Today I've finally had it!

There you are, Six!

And the demon-thing's with you!

--Where is my sword?

--I knew she'd show up!

--Where is my sword?

Now, give back my sword, Flame Zapper!

I've got a five-year loan on it!

Um, that sword It went on a journey!

It, uh, became sentient all of a sudden.

And it said it was going on a journey

to find its true master.

Don't be ridiculous!

Even if that were true,

there's no way it wouldn't

recognize me as its real master

What are you hiding?

Actually, the sword just

came back from its journey.

It fought a desperate battle with

the Demon Lord and lost

It said your name one last time,

and satisfied, it went back

to being a normal sword.

Flame Zapper!

Flame Zapper! I always polished you

every night before bed!

Flame Zapper! The day I bought you,

I was so happy I couldn't sleep.

--Oh, fine.

--Flame Zapper! I held you

in my arms every night

Here.

What an incredible sword!

It's beautiful!

I'll give you this instead.

Tiger Man!

I always knew you were the best.

You just called me

a demon-thing a minute ago!

You're creeping me out, get off me!

Wow, you're popular already, Tiger Man.

I like girls who are little.

This one's too big, meow!

Wow, Tiger Man.

You're one of a kind.

An enemy attack?

Okay, Six! Let's go!

This is our chance to win some glory!

Tiger Man, watch the castle for me.

I'm on it!

I can't wait to try out this sword

Now, to today's victory.

Cheers!

Nothing like a drink after work!

Hey, I'm paying today.

Drink up!

Thank you!

The only time I love the commander

is when he buys me food!

I agree!

But wasting money

is a bad habit in a husband.

Aww, you guys are so nice.

Did you think those were compliments?

They say he's never lost

against the demons!

Wow! So cool!

Look!

Everybody's looking at me!

I'll have my harem soon--

I smell Zipperman!

I can smell stinky something

coming from your zipper!

Zip it up, Zipperman!

You again?

--I'll jam a stick up your a*s, damn it!

--Stop it! You're a grownup!

You did great! I'll give you

a name when I get home.

Snow, I thought you got your job

at the royal guard back.

What are you doing with my unit?

The princess asked me

to watch you, personally.

She probably wants me to build

a connection with your home country.

--Sure she doesn't just want

to get rid of you?

--Rid of me?

You don't eat though, Alice.

It's rare for you to come here.

It's part of my research on this planet.

I'm putting together a report

to send to Kisaragi HQ.

You guys really are wizards

from another world, huh?

Not magic. Science.

So, what are you investigating?

There's a possibility that the crops here

are poisonous to Earthlings.

For instance, do you know

what kind of meat is on your plate?

Commander, if you won't eat

that orc meat, I will.

Orc?

I can't eat something intelligent.

Yay! Chow time!

You're normally so strong, but you're

delicate when it comes to food.

Shut up!

Hey, Snow, you're off tomorrow, right?

Can you help me? I'll pay.

Pay? I'll do it to help pay off my loan.

What do I do?

Your job is to investigate

this.

Mokemoke!

Look, that's a Mokemoke.

It's delicious when stewed.

It's got a cute name,

but it's really scary!

Also, that's a supopocchi

it's about to eat.

It's also delicious.

The supopocchi is fighting back.

Snakes on this planet use

tail slaps to attack, huh?

Fascinating.

The supopocchi only

rarely use that attack.

We're lucky we get to see it.

We got some good data. Let's go.

Let's stop talking and get out

of here before it finds us!

Snow, why's that supopocchi

hanging from that tree?

Oh, the Headsplitters

do that to mark territory.

Let's go home. That's bad news!

Do you guys not have any danger sense?

The Headsplitters are extremely

territorial barbarians.

Their name comes from the fact that

when they see prey, they split

its head open with clubs

We don't need the encyclopedia entry!

I can feel somebody watching us!

They're sending a signal

to their comrades.

That's right, Alice.

This sound is the one they make to

tell their fellows they've found prey

Hey, guys.

Huh?

I thought they were with me!

They're useless!

And they're in for a lecture

when I find them.

W-Well, it's kind of my fault for running.

I won't lecture them.

So if you guys are around,

you can come out!

--I'm not mad, so

--Mokemoke.

Mokemokemoke!

Moke!

Moke!

--Mokemokemoke!

--Moke?

--Mokemokemoke!

Moke

Moke

It's hurt

Mokemoke! Mokeke Mokemoke!

M-Moke?

You recognized me as a friend?

Moke

I just realized I don't know

anything about this planet.

He may actually be a nice creature.

That's right.

Even if we're different species, born on

different planets, we're still friends

Who met in this forest

Moke

Doe!

"She gave half to the tavern."

You're eating my friend right in front

of me, with some nice soy sauce

You cold-hearted woman!

What, you can't thank me

after I saved you?

Now, now.

Anyway, listen to this.

Grimm dragged me to some

weird mass for Zenarith,

and they summoned some undead with

some weird ritual! It was really bad!

Here you go, Rose!

Have some yummy kebabs

and keep your mouth shut.

Grimm, did you summon undead again?

What's wrong with that?

I'm a believer in Lord Zenarith,

the God of Undeath and Disaster.

What's wrong with summoning undead?

Hey Grimm, do you mean

things like zombies and ghosts?

That's right.

I summoned a ghost.

Hey, Six.

She summon a ghost, an occult staple!

As a disciple of science,

this is a declaration of w*r on me.

There's already magic on this planet.

What's special about that?

Magic isn't much different

than psychic powers,

which Kisaragi is already researching.

For example, Heine of the Flame's

fire magic is typical pyrokinesis.

It's just a sixth sense.

Six what-now?

You're a naughty little girl.

I'm saying that ghosts are

less believable than magic.

Alice, if you doubt Lord Zenarith's power,

he'll punish you!

Curses are just hypnosis

and self-suggestion.

There's no such thing as Zenarith.

What?

But Grimm can lose her head

and come back to life.

And lizards can grow new tails.

She may be some kind of bizarre creature

wearing human skin.

Fine then, I'll show you!

I won't stand by and let

Lord Zenarith be called a fake.

Fine. I'll buster whatever myths

you've got with the power of science.

Hey, why did I get dragged along here?

It should be obvious, Commander!

Because we need a witness to

my god's miracles, of course!

That's right, Six.

You need decisive proof

for frauds like her.

Or they'll make excuses and pretend

it never happened later.

Bratty little girl

You'll be going to hell when you die.

Alice, I'll wipe that smirk off your face

and replace it with terror.

Behold this poor, powerless sacrifice

I bought at the butchers!

C-Commander, I'll make you

my assistant, just for today!

When I give the signal send him

to Lord Zenarith

I don't want to do it, either!

How can you be the archpriest of

an evil god if you can't even do this?

Commander, your wuss!

And Lord Zenarith isn't evil!

Do I just need to whack it with this?

Do you not have a human heart?

That's right!

Where is your conscience?

Androids don't have one.

Fine! Fine!

I thought this might happen!

Here, I have processed meat here!

I'll use it today!

You should've started with that!

You got lucky.

I've taken enough insults for today.

I'll show you the true power

of an Archpriest.

Lord Zenarith,

God of Undeath and Disaster

accept this bloody sacrifice!

Hey, Alice, this seems bad.

It's just some fancy lights, wimp.

She probably put them

under a sheet or something.

By your great name, send me your servant!

This seems bad.

This is how the last boss shows up!

Oh, my

I see someone here with enough desires

to summon a great devil like me.

It's been centuries since I've been

called to the mortal world.

Seriously? She summoned a super-sexy lady!

Well done, Grimm! You're the best!

Grimm?

Wh-Who are you?

Hey!

I just wanted to summon

an ancient evil spirit!

I don't know who she is!

I'm curious about that

ancient evil spirit thing,

but if you say, "Sorry, our bad!"

will she go back?

Well? Didn't you want a wish from me?

A wish? You'll grant any wish I have?

That's right.

I can do anything.

I can grant any desire you have.

O-Okay

Can you give me a harem?

Commander?

I know I'm not one to talk, but I don't

recommend deals with devils.

How can I be part of an evil organization

if I'm scared of devils?

Every man wants a harem!

Very well. Then in exchange

for your soul

Hey, that's a pretty cheap

hologram you're using.

Hologram?

What's that, little one?

No spoiling the fun, little one!

That's a devil you're talking to!

That's right! I am a great devil

who serves Lord Zenarith.

And my name is--

Hey, what are you doing?

That's so rude!

Alice, stop!

Don't interrupt me!

Shut up.

Don't interrupt my research.

Hey, where's your real body?

Oh, you realized that this

is just a projection?

Forget that. About my wish

Is it under this?

Cut that out!

You can do your research

after I get my wish!

Forget your wish, moron.

Don't fall for a con artist like this.

What? You doubt my power!

I can stop your heart, you now?

Huh?

Androids don't have hearts.

What's going on?

Then I'll grant your wish!

Okay.

Make me two or three habitable planets.

Very well.

What? Planets?

Yes. Hop to it.

Wait, wait a second.

You want me to make two or three worlds?

That's taking greed too far!

You said "anything," right?

Fine, exterminate some

of the local wildlife for me.

The Demon Lord, the demons,

the Mokemoke

That's genocide!

That's right! The Mokemoke

did nothing wrong!

Can't you ask for something more normal?

Wealth, power, eternal youth?

I don't need wealth or power,

and androids don't age.

Just let her go

You can't do this.

You can't do that

What kind of wish could she grant?

Oh, I know. The toilet

in our hideout is plugged up.

Let's have you fix that.

You're having a greater devil

clean your toilet?

Who do you think I am?

So, you gonna clean that toilet? Or not?

Which?

Well you see, I'm a greater devil

Um sorry.

Forget it. Just go home.

I feel bad for what we did to that devil.

I don't care.

Well, at least we were able

to prove my power is real.

Why do you say that?

Because that devil

Where's the proof that wasn't

a remote control or something?

I asked for a ghost, anyway.

W-Well

If you want to trick me,

you need to try a little harder.

You third-rate con artist.

I'm so mad!

I worked extra-hard because

you said you wanted to see it!

We're going to run out of water

at this rate

I don't want to do it, but I guess

we don't have a choice.

Report on the local ecosystems and occult.

I will attempt to gather more data,

but I remain skeptical

of the existence of devils.

My harem

If I'd been there, I would've sold my soul

to get my wish granted, meow.

Is that what I think it is?

I'd have them make me

a small girl, meow.

It was more serious than I thought.

I'm sad, but oh well.

When I retire, I'll ask Lilith to give me

surgery to make me a pretty girl, meow.

Cut the meowing, guys.

Also, I negotiated with

a being called a devil

and found them to be nothing special.

Meow.

"Astaroth the Ice Queen"

"Belial the Great Flame"

"Lilith the Dark" "Preview"

"Astaroth the Ice Queen"

"Belial the Great Flame"

"Lilith the Dark" "Preview"

Alice's reports are always so precise.

"Astaroth the Ice Queen"

"Belial the Great Flame"

"Lilith the Dark" "Preview"

Hey, what's this at the end?

--"Meow."

--Meow.

"Next Time:

Episode 8:

'Corrupt, Scheming Knight'"

"Next Time:

Episode 8:

'Corrupt, Scheming Knight'"

Spelling error, right?

"Next Time:

Episode 8:

'Corrupt, Scheming Knight'"

Anyway, that's our meeting.

"Next Time:

Episode 8:

'Corrupt, Scheming Knight'"

We've got a tough fight waiting, but

"Next Time:

Episode 8:

'Corrupt, Scheming Knight'"

Leave it to me.

The word "defeat"

does not exist in my dictionary.

"Astaroth the Ice Queen"

"Lilith the Dark" "Belial the Great Flame"

"Astaroth the Ice Queen"

"Lilith the Dark" "Belial the Great Flame"

Best of luck to both of you.

"Voice Only"

"Voice Only"

I want you to come home soon, Six. Meow?

"Voice Only"

No, no way. That's not my character.

"Voice Only"

Anyway, what's for dinner?

"Voice Only"

"Left the room" "Left the room"