03x04 - A Constitution for Cucking

[bunniefuu]

[magical music playing]

[birds calling]

[indistinct murmuring]

[Darren] And so they answered the call,

gathering at the sacred place
to find unbridled pleasure in each other.

[moaning]

[Darren] Submitting to the power
of the Velvet Thrones,

all the creatures of the realm
were restless to begin the ceremony.

But the first to feast…

would be the last to come.

The ruler of the realm and high priestess
of pleasure made herself known.

[dramatic music playing]

[Darren] At long last, Quinni had arrived.

I told you it's not me!

I told you, she's the queen, not Quinni.

Okay, well, the queen can get it.
All of it.

[imitates motorboating]

No, she can't, and wouldn't.
Did anyone actually read it?

She's trying to save her realm
by finding the one that can make her…

- c*m.
- That can make her feel true love.

By cumming.

[exhales] Now I know what Zoe felt like.

This shift will never end.

[cell phone chimes]

[gasps]

Guys, secret gig tonight. Genesis Owusu.

If it's so secret,
how do you know about it?

I got on a list.

My, uh, my cousin's friend's sister's
boyfriend's sister hooked me up

after I saved her
from a wardrobe malfunction

in that, um, sanger shop
where the possum lives in the roof.

Guys, this is fate.

The wardrobe malfunction or the possum?

We're off the hook
for the carnival shitstorm.

Fate demands a celebration.

Fate also probably knows
we owe Missy a do-over for her party.

More "you" than "we."

Count me out. It's hard to feel social
when your entire future's been blown up

by the false assumption
that you're sexually attracted to horses.

No scholarship doesn't mean
no vet science. Just a little more debt.

Tens of thousands of dollars of debt.

Come to the gig.
It'll take your mind off all of this.

[Quinni] No, it won't.

Especially after I spent the entire day
surrounded by idiots neighing at me.

Centaurs have human heads.
Why would they neigh?

Whole weekend's gone by.

Ogre orgies and banshee boning
won't even come up today.

[boy neighing]

- Hey, look, it's the Beast Banger.
- [both laughing]

f*ck off, Year Tens!

Ignore the horse and flute morons.

Can't be a flute.
His hands are in the wrong position.

- I just have some research questions.
- [sighs] Oh, for f*ck's sake.

Well, if it isn't
the purveyor of pixie porn.

Is there a classroom, bathroom,
or teacher's office

you haven't papered
with this Velvet Thrones bullshit?

I thought it was you that did it.

I wouldn't write
or spread this smut around.

Well, you did take credit for it.

[yelling] Shut up!

[scoffs] I'll look it up.

[panting]

[pensive music playing]

Hey, I should've never let them think
that it was you.

People are being really, really nasty.

Must've really hurt you.
I'm so sorry, Zoe.

Good.

Happy reading, Zoe.

[boys laughing, neighing]

[Sasha] That was actually brutal.

You didn't have anything
to do with that, did you?

No.

- Hey.
- Hey. Hey, how are you doing?

I'm… I'm here if you need another vent,
chat, whatever.

Yeah, good. Um…

You didn't tell anyone, did you,
about the carnival?

What? No. No, of course not. [scoffs]

Okay, good, because you really…
you really can't. Like…

Yeah, I… I get that.

Okay.

Okay, all right, good. Um… [exhales]

Okay, just between that
and Spider's hall-pass thing,

my brain's going a bit crazy
at the moment, you know?

Yeah, okay, well,
that sounds like a conversation

for someone you actually trust.

[psychedelic music playing]

[door lock chimes]

[Taz] Stupid fidget spinner.
Dumb sensory room.

[sighs]

Don't.

- [gasps] Holy heck.
- [Quinni] You're not meant to be here.

[Taz exhales]

Well, I'm dropping these toys off
'cause my aunty made me buy replacements.

You know,
they call that spot squirter alley?

[exhales]

[inhales] Well,
pretty sh*t at cleaning, eh?

[smacks tongue, chuckling]
Better check I got everything.

Thanks so much for coming.
Everyone else was busy.

I was supposed to drop that off yesterday,
but I can't get it into the car myself.

[Liam] Too easy. What is it?

Major artwork. Goes on display
in Showcase tomorrow.

Uh-huh.

Right, yeah, I can't help ya.

- What?
- Yeah, I…

Well, I have this rule
that I can't lift and move anything

until I take a squiz at it.

- [chuckling] Whatever.
- Okay, cool.

Wait, wait. Let me turn the light on
for the full effect.

[switch clicks]

- [switch clicks]
- That's…

not good.

Uh… Here.

[Harper] What the…

[breathing shakily]

Oh, come the f*ck on.

- Uh, looks like you got a leak.
- [exhales]

- Yeah, probably shorted out the box too.
- [whimpers]

[pensive music playing]

[groans]

I spent months on this.

[sighing] I was actually…

I was actually proud of it.

It was supposed to up my shitty marks.

That's it. I'm not getting into uni now.

How will I tell Am?

Okay, so you need something new.

Yeah, sure, I'll just whip something up.

Why not?

I got all day.

[upbeat music playing over speakers]

Hey. [hesitates]
Uh, what are you doing here?

Getting ready for my date
with Genesis Owusu.

I need my fake ID back so I can get in.

[Ca$h] What, manager take it again?

Mmm, the other week.
I feel totally targeted.

He's never gonna believe
when you actually turn 18.

He'll definitely be blown away
when he sees my real name.

I'm gonna miss being Gunhild Fenty Gomez.

This gig will be one of her last.
Gotta send her off in style.

What? Don't you dare tell me
that you're bailing. That's not allowed.

No, no, no, I was…

Malakai, did you move
the, uh, tin thing that was here?

Oh, you mean the rusty thing that gave me
tetanus just looking at it? Yeah.

What am I missing? Where's my ID?

Oh, no, Malakai's
just been helping me clean up. [chuckles]

[Amerie] Okay.

Yeah, I tossed it.

No, it… it was just full of like receipts
and, um, bottle caps and sh*t.

And my fake ID,
which I need for vital reasons of fate.

Where's the trash?

Gone. Garbage day. Sorry.

Can you just get a new one, or…

It's an online order. It takes a week.

[gasps] Surely you know a guy.

I'm not going back to the eshays
just to hook you up with a fake ID.

[intriguing music playing]

[Malakai chuckles]

I'm seeing this guy this afternoon.

Wait, does Ca$h help you decide
who you're gonna hook up with?

No. He has my passwords.

We're very transparent about it all.

So that's it?
You just meet people on socials?

Occasionally, you meet people in the wild,
but if you want a sure thing… [chuckles]

[Zoe] Hello, Darren.

We are supposed to be rehearsing
so we don't look like dickheads.

- Remember?
- [boy shushing]

I am not the one.

[Darren] It's just drama.

Stop stressing.

You are the literal president
of the Drama Club.

[Zoe] Yeah, and it was bad enough

when you were trying to shove jokes in
to "fix my script,"

but now you're just playing
with our futures.

[whimsical music playing]

Oh, what? So you can dish out
constructive criticism,

but you can't take it,
can you, Darren? [sputtering]

I… You know what? Darren, get back here!

I can see you!

Amerie been bombarding you
about that gig tonight as well?

Yeah, she sent, like, 20 text messages
begging me to come.

Overcompensate much?

I think she probably just feels a bit bad.

So do I.

I feel like a lot of dumb things got said.

Yeah, like that hall pass idea.

[Spider exhaling] Yeah.

Yep.

So how would it work exactly?

Maybe you're right. It might help.

Unless you don't want me to.

No, no, no. No, it's my idea.

So…

Yeah, you're, like, a strong,
independent woman,

and I want you to be free.

And… [inhales]
…you know, I'm… I'm secure enough

to just be like, yeah…

- [sucks teeth] …go for it.
- [Missy] Hmm.

If I did hook up with somebody,
would you want me to tell you?

Uh, no.

Okay.

Yeah.

Just a… a sign.

- [Missy] Mmm.
- Maybe.

Maybe like a hedgehog?

Like a…

Little…

[chuckling]

[upbeat music playing]

Oh, chip?

Why did you even come
if all you wanna do is snack?

- 'Cause you need backup.
- I really don't.

You're about to corner
some fake-ID-making criminal called Big T,

who sounds like a total roid monster. Uh…

- What's he even look like?
- I don't know.

But we're going to where
you picked it up from him before, right?

Ant handled that last time.

He said Big T does his business
at the same time and place each week.

We'll know him when he hands
an envelope to some kid. It's foolproof.

Eh, more like foolish.

Almost as foolish as throwing away
someone's lucky fake ID

that's had a 99.95% success rate.

If it was so successful,
why'd it keep getting confiscated?

Because the manager of the bowlo sucks,
but even he never binned it.

Uh, I'm sorry, okay?
I was… I was trying to help.

I need to do something.

Roll up! Roll up!

See the finest in art supplies
money could never buy.

Fresh from the skip,

waiting to be wankified.

This is… [chuckles] …literal garbage.

No, not when we're done with it.

Hey, um, I'll be at the hospital.

Keep an eye out for any more b*stards
need their heads knocked in.

[Liam] Will do, Mum.

Oh.

Whoa.

[Liam] People believe
anything in the papers.

[inhales] Everyone jumps at the chance
to kick a carnie.

[can rattles]

See, this is giving…

[inhales, exhales]

- …"I come from a broken family."
- [laughing]

[Liam] Hmm.

[chair clattering]

You know, you could just do this, right?

Make art.

This is definitely not gonna be art.

I mean, you don't need a degree
or permission.

Just be the thing you wanna be.
Screw the rest of them.

Amerie would hard disagree.

[pensive music playing]

Who put her in charge of your life?

Well, I mean… [exhales]

…I think it's nice
having someone care that much.

[inhales, exhales]

I bombed my trials,
and she still won't quit.

When Amerie wants something,
don't get in her way.

[chuckling] Right.

I'm sorry for kicking off at Missy's too.

That one's mostly on me and Harper.

- [footsteps approaching rapidly]
- [sound warps]

Oi, you! Hold it right there!

- [sound returns to normal]
- [footsteps receding rapidly]

Are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just… [sniffles]

Just caught me off-guard.

Really, I'm good.

Uh, well, where are we doing
our stakeout anyway?

Um…

Just up ahead.

[Malakai] Mmm.

[Taz sniffles]

[exhales] Well, I guess that's it.

All clean. Well, clean-ish.
Some… [inhales]

Some things are forever stains. [exhales]

Sensory room's all yours now.
[smacks tongue]

If nothing else, this should inspire
a new chapter, right?

No, I'm done with that.

Oh, shame.

It was pretty hot.

Even if it did incorrectly assume
high magic works in a warden realm.

[curious music playing]

How do you know that?

Angeline of the Underworld
is my Roman Empire.

Uh, neat trick, by the way.

Spinning off a whole story
from one footnote in book three.

Thanks.

There's so many great details to use.
It's my favorite in the series.

Oh no! No, Sparkles, it goes…

Okay, it goes book five,

then six, then three.

Wow.

So you agree?

Um, no, you're so wrong.

How?

No, okay, come on, tell me then. Tell me.

Come on, Big T should be here.

Yeah, maybe there's no pick-up today.

The NPC over there suggests otherwise.

Probably 17, looks 12.
Definitely needs a fake ID.

- [phone chiming]
- [Amerie] Oh.

Sorry, my study-break alarm.

What? A lot can change in a year.

[chuckles, sighs]

Not everything.

[pensive music playing]

Never did tell me
what you wrote in that letter.

[chuckles]

Look, look, who's that?

What? Uh…

Oh, here we go. Here we go.

[Malakai] Huh!

Wait, that's…

Big T?

["House Check" by Human Movement
[feat. Big Skeez] playing]

[Malakai] Oi, Big T!

Oi, stop!

[both panting]

[Malakai] Come here.

Whoa.

- [Big T] I'm not carrying anything.
- [Malakai] Dude, chill.

- She just needs a new fakey.
- I don't know what you're talking about.

Just cut the crap, Big T.

Hey, you got the wrong person.
My name's Tobias.

Does your mummy know about
your little side hustle, Tobias?

[curious music playing]

Well played, Gunhild.

Okay, I only take online orders,
and it takes a week.

I'm paying cash, and I need it now.

Maybe Mama Big T
will make us a snack while we wait.

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

Fine.

But it'll cost double.

- He's paying.
- What?

It's your fault.

Yep, um… Sorry.

Do you take Swiss francs at all?

["Bleed But Never Die"
by Ecca Vandal playing]

Ugh. This is leaking oil.

- [Liam] Ah!
- [chuckles]

A metaphor for the economic
lifeblood of society.

Fancy talk.

I can fake it real good, yeah.

Sure you didn't go to uni?

I did.

Lasted a month. [light chuckle]

Wasn't for me.

[groaning] All right.

Now, this is my contribution.

- [smacks lips]
- [clears throat]

You never wanted anything more?

[chuckles ] I get to travel the country,

meet new people, and be my own boss.

What's not to love?

You think you're in charge?

Really?

Always, yeah.

I think Jackie might have
something to say about that.

[laughing]

- Clancy too.
- Oh!

- That knobhead thinks he's king sh*t.
- Yeah.

So?

- [smacks tongue] What's the verdict?
- [chuckles] Um…

This is the worst thing I've ever made.

Yeah… Oh-h*-h*!

Now that's art.

Now it's art.

Beautiful. [kiss]

[pop music playing over speakers]

[Amerie] The real test will be tonight.

Yes, I was serious about that. Why?

Well, yeah, I'm a little pissed, Noah.

[Ca$h] Oi.

[Malakai] Mm-hmm?

You're being stupid.

Who?

- Me?
- [Ca$h] Mmm.

Never.

No sh*t, I'm still going.
It's gonna go off. Your loss, loser.

[gasps] I'm kidding.
I love you. I love you. Bye.

[sighs] Noah's not coming tonight.
He's got 5 a.m. training in the morning.

Sounds like he's more serious
about sport than you.

[smacks lips] Rugby is his first love,
and I'm just a mere side piece.

So you coming, or what?

Hmm.

[Quinni] There's theories
about her parents. There's four.

That's how demon reproduction works.
Everyone knows that.

Anyway, I emailed Rhea Brown a pitch
about a potential prequel series

with the birth of Angeline,

just as the Grandmaster
first rises to power.

[whispering] Oh my God.

Sorry.

Why?

Oh, for not letting you talk
for almost half an hour. [chuckles]

Did Rhea Brown reply?

She's so busy writing book seven,
the way she left things.

- [Taz] The abdication.
- [chuckling]

- [Taz] Sorry. [groans]
- [laughing]

When did you first get into Angeline?

- Uh, my mum had the first book.
- She's a fan?

Uh…

I… yeah, I found it in her stuff
after she died.

[pensive music playing]

- Oh, Taz, I'm--
- [Taz] Anyway, I…

[chuckles] I skipped a lot of school.

Pretty much read the whole series
on repeat for a while.

That's really sad.

You shouldn't skip school.
[chuckles]

What do you think
I'm doing right now, Sparkles?

- Well played. [chuckling]
- [chuckles]

So, what's your excuse
for whatever you're skipping?

Oh.

[exhales] Um… [smacks lips]

My entire academic life plan
got crushed to smithereens on Friday.

Hmm.

[chuckling] So why are you smiling?

I've been stewing over it for three days.

Except for now.

For the last half hour,
I haven't worried about it.

Hey, have you heard about
the secret gig tonight?

No.

[quacking]

I'm home.

We should make a move on--

Hmm. There you are.

Yes, we brought the rehearsal to you.

I don't like this either,

but I like embarrassing myself
in front of the whole school even less.

Don't fight this.

We even brought the ridiculous costumes
you kept insisting we needed.

Why did you let them in, babe?

- We're about to head out.
- I am.

You're staying here
and following through on this.

- [scoffs] Again, why?
- 'Cause you're not an arsehole.

TBC.

I know Zoe's allergic to fun,
but aren't you going to Genesis tonight?

I'm not some possessive caveman.
I don't need to be there.

Look, we fail this,
it mucks up all of our marks.

Don't you care what happens after school?

[Ca$h] Okay.

Darren's gonna be home to do dinner.

I'm gonna be back later
to give you a midnight snacky.

You want this one?
You want a snacky now? Here you go.

Love you.

- This is entrapment.
- [shushing]

["Spiced Rum [Party]"
by And Beyond playing]

Ca$hy!

Hey.

Servo guy was gonna give 'em the yeet.
Got a crazy discount.

They look… wrong.

Yeah, like sh*t-your-pants wrong.

Everyone knows caps get better with age.

♪ Bouncer asking ,"Please show your ID" ♪

♪ I'm too drunk to get out my ID ♪

♪ Bouncer asking, "Please show your ID" ♪

♪ I'm too drunk to get out my ID ♪

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

[Ca$h] Cheers, bro.

[club music playing over speakers]

[indistinct chatter, whooping in distance]

[Amerie] Oh God.

I don't know what
I'm more nervous about, security or Missy.

[intriguing music playing]

[huffs]

[upbeat music playing]

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Yeah.

[Amerie chuckling]

[club music playing over speakers
in distance]

Yeah, she's defs still pissed at me.

Do you mind if I go first
in the apology tour?

If we get lost, we could use echolocation.

- Well, let's just not get lost, yeah?
- Okay.

[Amerie] Oh! Wait up!

Hey! Hey, guys!

What, no new deranged accusations?

Like all my text messages
and voice memos mentioned,

I'm so, so sorry, Missy.

I promise there'll be
no more drama from me tonight.

That's an Amerie Wadia guarantee.

Believe it when I see it.

Guys, I'm so, so geed up about this.

We're gonna be breathing
the same oxygen as him.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [shushing]

[club music intensifies]

[Quinni] Thank you.

["The Game" by Space 92
playing over speakers]

[Missy] Hey, check it out.

- Hey!
- [Ant] Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[over speakers] Hello, people!

[crowd cheering]

[cheering, whooping]

[whistling]

- [clinking]
- [indistinct chatter]

Hey, how about I buy us some shots?

- Now you're talking.
- [chuckles]

- [boy] Whoa!
- [Amerie] So sorry, my bad.

Coming through.

Shots all around!

- [Ant] Cheers!
- [all] Cheers!

- [Ant] Cheers!
- [all] Cheers!

[flatly] And all the king's horses…
[sighs] …and all the king's men… [sighs]

…couldn't put my son together again.

Why can't you take this seriously?

I'm saying the words.
What more do you want?

This is about shock and anger and grief.

It's about an egg.

[groans]

Spider, give them their cue line again.

- [people cheering]
- [club music playing over phone]

[Darren] Mm-mm, mm-mm-mm.
[smacks tongue]

Hey, hey.

Looks like an orgy
straight out of Quinni's masterpiece.

- What?
- Am I right, Zoe?

- Looks like an STI on entry.
- [groaning]

The only one getting lucky is Missy.

- [Zoe] What?
- What?

Did you break up with my cousin?

No, of course I didn't.

Yeah.

This star gave his girl a hall pass.

Yeah, and it's all your fault.

You took relationship advice from them?

[hesitates] It sounded fine in theory.

Missy's probably hooking up with a chick,
and I'm sitting here like full simp,

just imagining

everything. Oh!

Oh, uh…

Calm down. [light chuckle]
This is normal. Um…

What are your rules?

What do you mean?

[Zoe] Dude, even I know that's bad.

- Rules…
- [sputters]

Rules are the first thing Ca$h and I did
when we opened our relationship.

No one we know, no repeat offenders,
and Ca$h is in control.

He can press pause whenever he likes.
It's all about both of us feeling secure.

Secure?

While you're out there
screwing other people?

- Poor guy.
- [groaning]

[Darren] Ignore her.

Sorry, Spider.

Let's outline exactly
what the hall pass covers.

No. I brought that in case
you needed your lines fed to you,

not to draw up
some constitution for cucking.

- [spits]
- [clattering]

Don't you dare.

Don't… [yelling] Spider! [sputtering]

[Zoe groans]

Okay.

[laughing, indistinct]

Okay, so it was my birthday
last week, actually.

Scorpio.

- Yeah.
- Interesting.

I thought fire sign for sure.

- Okay, wait. Let me pick yours.
- Okay.

Aquarius.

No. [chuckles]

[club music playing
over speakers, muffled]

[muffled] Sparkles.

I have an idea for your next chapter.

Taz, I told you I'm not--

Do you remember the Light Mage Clan
from Lorenzo's backstory in book five?

- They could be behind the queen's curse!
- [chuckling] Yes.

So write it, please.
Because I wanna read it.

- Okay.
- Yeah?

- [chuckling] Okay.
- Cool.

Leo.

No.

Okay, while you do that,
I'll get a shot for the birthday girl.

Yeah.

Oh my God. Are you actually doing it?

Okay, um, hi.
Didn't know you were gonna be here.

Oh, well, Taz got wind of it somehow.
Dragged me along.

[Missy] You two actually a thing?

Is this Spider's hall pass nonsense
in motion?

So what if it is?

Okay.

No notes.

Except you did once tell me
that opening up a relationship

was just one person's way
of breaking up slower.

Darren and Ca$h make it work.

Yeah, but they're more the exception
than the rule, though, right?

Are you sure you wanna do this?

[exhales] Okay, cool.
Um, thank you for your input.

Why don't you jog on
and go cozy up to your new woman?

Gotta bounce.

Yeah, okay. Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye.

[Quinni squeals]

- Hey.
- Why isn't this sh*t kicking in yet?

[inhales]

Okay.

I think that's it.

[chuckles] No, definitely not.

Scenario,

would multiple orgasms

make it a multi-use of the hall pass?

Ah, close, but no.

- It just makes Missy a very lucky girl.
- Hey.

Just ignore them long enough,
and they'll quit.

Let her help you for long enough,
and you'll end up a Puriteen.

Don't pretend you didn't love it.

No pretending necessary.

[Spider] Hey.

Can we focus, please?

[Darren clears throat]

What if, um…

it starts with sex and then Missy
falls in love with someone?

Spider, sex and love
aren't always the same thing.

Excuse me,
it's called lovemaking for a reason.

[scoffs] Not by anyone
that's actually doing it.

Do you give Ca$h
the same sh*t you give me?

What?

Ca$h is celibate, just like me.

My Ca$h is asexual.
He's being true to himself.

[scoffing] You're just…

You're just repressing
what you really want.

[sucks air]

What I want is something real.

And I didn't need sex
to find that with Felix!

Well, I didn't need sex
to find that with Ca$h.

Samesies.

You guys, like the same person.

- Excuse me?
- You take that back!

- Right now!
- Whoa!

["Heat" by Tove Lo, SG Lewis
playing over speakers]

Hey, come on, show me some of your fancy
new European dance moves.

They're the same as my Aussie ones.
They're just in the other direction.

[microphone feedback]

["Stampede" by Genesis Owusu
playing over speakers]

- [Genesis Owusu] Sydney!
- [crowd cheering]

Are you ready?

Oh my God, I told you.

♪ Yeah, get, get, get back ♪

♪ I ain't got time for the tact ♪

♪ Grinning with a burlap sack ♪

♪ Young brutha sharp as a tack ♪

♪ Snatch a crown from a king
Then I tell you where I spat… ♪

[cheering]

♪ Grown man simping for a rat ♪

♪ Bootlicker blues, you a gnat ♪

♪ Time to start a riot ♪

♪ Where you at, where you at
Where you at, where you at? ♪

♪ Left side to the right side ♪

♪ Left side to the right ♪

♪ Front side to the back ♪

♪ Front side to the back ♪

♪ Stampede if you're with me… ♪

[inaudible]

♪ We ain't tryna hear that ♪

♪ We ain't tryna hear that ♪

- ♪ Left side to the right side ♪
- ♪ Left side to the right ♪

♪ Front side to the back ♪

♪ Front side to the back ♪

- ♪ Stampede if you're with me ♪
- ♪ Stampede if you're with me ♪

- ♪ We ain't tryna hear that ♪
- ♪ We ain't tryna hear that ♪

♪ All the broke boys from the back ♪

♪ They, thems, n*gga, where you sat ♪

♪ Hunnies make noise ♪

♪ Oh ♪

[Spider sighs]

Sorry.

We kind of made it about us for a minute.

Oh, that was several minutes.

- Yeah.
- [smacks lips]

It's all good.

I'm jealous of you guys.

You got the whole love thing figured out.

I didn't for a while.

I still don't.

- Wait, what's Felix done?
- [Zoe] Nothing.

Just before him. Um…

[clears throat]

It's nothing original.

Turns out some men just act sweet
till they get what they want.

[Spider] Mmm.

That's true.

Turns out secrets aren't always sexy.

Sometimes…

[sniffles, voice breaking] Sometimes…

the guy's just embarrassed.

[sad music playing]

Being with you embarrasses him,

and he doesn't want anyone else to know.

Sorry.

[Zoe] I'm fine.

[inhales] It's ancient history.

I started the Puriteens, so I fixed it.

Zoe, you know Felix is not that guy.

- Mm-mm.
- He's stuck with you.

Even though you are an absolute punish.

[chuckles]

Yeah.

I've actually been thinking that, um…

maybe it's time.

- Oh.
- Maybe at schoolies even.

Oh…

No further comment.

[Zoe sniffles]

[cell phone vibrates]

[cell phone pings]

- Oh my God.
- [cell phone thuds on table]

It's a hedgehog emoji.

- [Darren exhales]
- She's about to… [exhales]

Calm down.

What do you wanna do?

[exhales shakily] Undo it.

[swallows] But I can't.

No, no. [sniffles]

[cell phone vibrating]

Uber is three minutes away.

We undoing this, or what?

["Get Inspired" by Genesis Owusu
playing over speakers]

[inaudible]

[inaudible]

[inaudible]

[inaudible]

[inaudible]

- [song ends]
- [cheering]

[girl] This is iconic, man!

- [chanting] Genesis! Genesis! Genesis!
- [cheering]

Oh, can you sign my face?

Sorry, brother.
I gotta get out of this. Peace!

You were literally…

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

["Bop" by Surusinghe
playing over speakers]

[inaudible]

Oh my God, she's closing the deal.

Wait. Wait, plot twist.

[Sasha] Wait.

Threesome.

No, this wasn't part of the plan.

[Taz] Come on.

Oh hey.

Oh.

- Never mind.
- Oh.

[Sasha] Oh sh*t.

[Taz mumbling]

Laughing your arses off, eh?

- No. [chuckles] No.
- Mm-mm.

No, we were just…

That was her girlfriend.
She's in a relationship.

Damn. [smacks tongue]

I thought threesome for sure.

You told her?

Everything.

No… [chuckling] …not everything.

Okay, I should tell Spider.

Hey, hey! No, hold on! Hold on.

Look, the night is young.

And if you wanna do this,
we can help scout the talent.

We can?

We can. Yeah, sure.

Hey, and I… I might just be the random
who crashed your 18th birthday,

but please know I believe in you, sis.

Yeah, and you better.

I've seen this one pick up at a funeral.

- Damn.
- Yeah.

- Yeah, you remember that? Yeah.
- I do remember that.

- [scoffs] I got this.
- [chuckling] Yeah!

- Yeah!
- Yeah, you got this!

["Welcome to London"
by Charlie Sparks playing over speakers]

Six missed calls from Mum.

Oh.

You okay?

Yeah, it's…

- Let's go somewhere quiet and chill out.
- Yeah.

♪ 24 hours every day my city don’t sleep ♪

♪ You need P’s in my city
'Cause it's not cheap ♪

♪ Top quality has never been a guarantee ♪

♪ We'll extort you
Your friends and family ♪

♪ Cold when it's critical ♪

♪ Cool but cynical ♪

♪ Maxed out never minimal ♪

♪ That's how we function ♪

♪ Cold when it's critical ♪

♪ Cool but cynical ♪

♪ Maxed out never minimal ♪

♪ That's how we function… ♪

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- It's okay. It's okay.
- No. No. We're mates, that's all.

- Then why did we just--
- We didn't.

[chuckles] Yeah, you could've fooled me.

This is wrong and confusing.

- And I can't--
- It's not wrong, Am.

No, you shouldn't have even come.

You invited me.

Just go.

Just go, or I will.

Okay. Bye.

[Malakai] Am…

♪ That's how we function ♪

♪ Cold when it's critical ♪

♪ Cool but cynical ♪

♪ Maxed out never minimal… ♪

- [club music playing in distance]
- Where are we?

You know, this actually reminds me
of the catacombs that are in France.

You know, the ones full of bones?

But there's no bones,
and we're not in France, so--

Zoe.

- Please. Please.
- Okay.

[panting] Guys, slow down.

- [Missy] Hey.
- [Malakai] Cheers.

[groans]

What's wrong with me?

What am I doing here?

What? Nothing.

No, anyone… [chuckles] …who says otherwise
is a dickhead.

[scoffs] I must be surrounded
by dickheads.

I reckon we both are.

Bottoms up.

["Pleasure [Bambounou Here to Please
Remix]" by Jennifer Loveless

playing over speakers]

All right, let's split up.

[sighs]

Are you sure you have to go?

Yeah, Mum sounded really worked up.
Clancy's awake.

Oh, is he okay?

- [Liam] She didn't say.
- Well, did he…

Did he remember anything, or…

Hi, Liam.

Hi. Um…

- Amerie, right?
- Mmm.

Sorry to be rude,
but, uh, I gotta get going.

Yeah, that's probably for the best.

- [Liam scoffs]
- Uh…

I'll text you.

Yeah.

- Am.
- Are you serious with this sh*t?

- No, Liam just said--
- No, Liam shouldn't be here.

This gig is full of drunk people
who could say anything.

Stop. Would you let me speak?

No, we just go out from under all that,
Harps. You need to be smarter.

Smarter? [chuckles] What, like you?

["Wicked Game" by Wolf Alice playing]

♪ Strange what desire
Make foolish people do… ♪

I'm trying to protect us.

Because you always know
what's best, right?

I know better than to lead on some guy
who literally brings nothing but trouble.

Oh really? How's Malakai?

What?

Nothing… Nothing's happening with Malakai.

Well, of course you'd say that.

You don't wanna blow up
your try-hard, trophy-wife future now…

- …do we?
- Oh!

♪ What a wicked game to play… ♪

Ant, Ant, Ant, Ant. Have you seen Missy?

I love Missy, dude.

♪ What a wicked thing to do ♪

♪ To make me dream of you… ♪

Sorry it offends you
that I want more for both of us.

Did you ever stop to think
that I might want something different?

Okay, fine, Harper,
tell me what you actually want,

aside from finding new ways
to self-sabotage.

That's what the carnival guy is, babe.
He's just another excuse to give up.

[exhales]

♪ This song
Is only gonna break your heart… ♪

[indistinct chatter, laughing]

Oi! Oi! Have you guys seen Missy?

Uh, no, not in the last 20 minutes.

♪ Room was on fire
No one can save me but you… ♪

You are so full of sh*t
it's… [yelling] …f*cking delusional!

They should study you!

Well, you're so determined
to throw away your life,

it might be the one thing
you actually succeed at!

[exhaling] Oh my God.

Wow.

[Spider] Where's Missy?

♪ I never dreamed
That I'd lose somebody like you ♪

♪ And I don't wanna fall in love ♪

♪ No, I don't wanna fall in love… ♪

- Mm-mm. [laughing]
- Mm-mm. [laughing]

♪ No, I don't wanna fall in love ♪

♪ Again ♪

♪ With you… ♪

Best… night… ever!

[music ends]

[techno music playing]

[music ends]