01x06 - Episode 6

[bunniefuu]

OK, so that's five more minutes
left of detention

and then you're all released
from captivity.

WHISPERED: Race you to the other
side? Esther.

Loser buys the first pint.

Fine. But we're do it slalom style.

And no running. Sure.

WHISPERED: Three...

..two...

..one.

Damn it.

Don't forget I've been doing this
a lot longer than you have.

I'll have a Guinness.
Yes, all right.

Just one though. OK.

Now which one looks the most like a
Charles Dickens character? Oh, easy.

SHE LAUGHS, CLEARS HER THROAT

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Hi.

Hi.

DOOR CLOSES

So, er...

Fola, um, I am, erm...

I'm really sorry about, uh...

HE SIGHS

sh*t, I probably... I should've
written this down. Mm-hm.

Mum's made us dinner, by the way.

Your mum?

No, OUR mum. Er, but she's out.

Er, they...they...they both are.

They? Zack? Sorry, you've
completely lost me. I...

No, they're out. They're out,
so we... So we can sneak up

and...you can...

..f*ck me on our parents' bed,

like you promised.

Wha...

SHE CHUCKLES

OK, I'm trying to go along with
whatever weird sh*t you're into,

and you're checking your phone,
so... No, erm, maybe we should...

..sit down and talk about what's...
No, you can't,

No, you can't just send a f*cked-up,
but surprisingly hot text

and say you want to talk.

Er...

That message...

..wasn't meant for you.

SHE LAUGHS

LAUGHING: Oh, my God!

OK... I need a drink. Do you...
Do you want a drink? Yeah. OK.

HE MOUTHS

Hey, Nat?

Can you change my 6pm to tomorrow?
I, er, I need to get home.

To be honest, I basically just
picked PE

cos I thought there'd be no marking.

It's funny.

I can't imagine that we would've
ever been friends

if we were at school together.
But we're friends now.

Yeah.

I like being friends with my boss.

Yes. Well, erm...

Me too.

But, erm, I just wanted to say...

I hope you don't think that
I...took advantage of you.

The other week? I don't want you to
think that there was any kind of
power play or... Are you...? So...

Are you joking?

I mean, I appreciate that, but I'm
pretty sure it was me that got in

the back of your cab and started
getting with you, right?

Yes... Yes, you did, erm...

But still.
Thought I should flag it.

Well flagged.

Probably...time for another cab...

..isn't it?

J... Erm, just cos, er...

..school night and everything.

Yes... Yes. Oh.

Home time.
SHE CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY

Unless...

You want one more?

Um...

Um...

Sure. Yeah. Why not.

I know, I'm sorry. It's my fault.

Of course, it's your fault.
I just want to crawl into a hole.

I'm sorry, what was that,
Jamie Lannister?

No. It's not incest.
It's step-siblings.

It's not Game of Thrones,
it's...Cruel Intentions, or erm,

Alicia Silverstone
and Paul Rudd in Clueless.

It's still weird.
You're a f*cking weirdo.

You're going to end up with kids
with webbed fingers or whatever.

Me and Esther aren't actually
related, for the record, OK?

I was just trying to do
the right thing.

And you were about to go along
with it. Yeah, still not normal.

Normal is different things for
different people, so...

Oh, that's nice. Did you get that
off the side a coffee mug or
something?

It's not even my...! It's Esther,
Esther's into it.

She... She's into role-play

and wants us to do more of it
and stuff and...

Like, when you've been in
a relationship as long as we have,

you get into a routine.

Yeah, I get that but...

I bet you and Zack don't have
that problem!

I bet you're like, doing it upside
down and hanging from the ceiling,

what with the upper arm strength
he has, I mean, oh, my...

Sorry, I probably shouldn't be
talking about...

SHE EXHALES, SOBS

Oh, sh*t, sorry. No, I didn't mean
to upset you.

No, it's, erm...
It's not you, you idiot.

It's, erm...

Oh, God, I can't believe
that I'm...crying.

You're like the third person
I've ever cried in front of.

I cry all the time.

That Paddington film was on
TV the other day

and Esther thought
one of my family had died.

HE GIGGLES, SHE CHUCKLES

No, it's erm...

Zack and I haven't had sex...

..basically the whole time
we've been married.

That's quite, erm...

I mean, that must be difficult.

It's lonely.

It's really f*cking lonely.

That's what it is.

Er, sorry, what were you, erm...

When you came in, you were going to
say something, before...

Come with me.

Is Zack not...? I mean, you know,
is this not going to be weird,

I mean, in your own bedroom?
Oh, Jesus Christ, Josh,

that's like if I m*rder*d someone

and you had a problem with me
stealing their wallet.

THEY LAUGH

Oh, sorry...!
LAUGHING: Shut up!

There's washing...!

JOSH MOANS

FOLA MOANS

KEYS JINGLE

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Hi, my love.

Fola?

I thought we could get a takeaway
and...

JOSH AND FOLA PANT AND MOAN

Oh... Faster. Yeah?

THEY MOAN

Oh, God... I'm close.

Oh, Josh.

HE PANTS FASTER, SHE MOANS

Don't stop...

Oh! Cramp, cramp...

Don't stop, don't stop,
don't stop...

HE LOOSENS BELT

I'm close, I'm close...
JOSH'S MOANING INTENSIFIES

I'm close, Josh. Don't stop...
Don't stop. Don't stop.

THEIR MOANING INTENSIFIES

THEIR PANTING AND MOANING SLOWS

ZACK SIGHS

FOLA AND JOSH'S MUFFLED CHATTER

THEY KISS, MOAN SOFTLY

What the f*ck?