01x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

SHE BREATHES HEAVILY

Oh, yeah, that's good.

Yeah, right there,

just like that.

Oh, no, no, don't stop,
don't stop. I'm really close.

HE CLEARS THROAT

Am I keeping you from something?
What?

No, this is just, um...
Is that more porn?

No, I mean, it's erm...
Well, it's Cruel Intentions.

It's like a 12A. It's a sexy 12A.

Oh, OK, well, don't let me interrupt
you, then.

Josh, don't be like that.

It's just a bit of a visual aid,
to help set the mood.

Yeah, well, I don't know, recently
it feels like you've needed

role-play, or porn, or whatever,
for us to have sex.

We've been f*cking for over
a decade, Josh,

I just wanted to mix it up a bit.

I like, I like a bit of inspiration,
it's...it's sexy.

When you're watching it literally
when we're having sex,

it makes me feel a bit sh*t.
It's not a replacement for you.

Well, it feels like it.

It feels like you're imagining...

..Ryan Phillippe or whatever her
name is, that woman you work with.

Oh, my God, OK, there we go, yep.

So, every time we have a fight,
you're just going to

pull that card then, yeah? I
see. No. This isn't a fight.

Oh, it f*cking is now.
OK, I shouldn't have brought it up.

Well, you did. And I've said sorry,
but you're just going to

hold this against me forever.
I just... What? You just what?

OK.

I just don't...understand...

..why you did it.

That's fine.

God. Me messing up one time doesn't
give you the excuse

to get all judgey on my inner sexual
thoughts all right.

No, OK, that's unfair.
Oh, Josh, don't run away.

I'm not, I need a pee.
No. I need a pee, actually.

I need a pee first because, God,
you're a shithead.

DOOR SLAMS
And make me a tea.

Honey. Mm?

Hey, honey.
Mm, what time, is it?

Like 7am. Urgh, babe, I didn't go
freelance to wake up

at seven in the morning.

Yeah, but I, but I thought you might
want to have a quick, erm...

Oh...

Oh, I would like that.

WHISPERING: Thank you for waking me.

Why are we whispering?

Oh, I don't want to disturb it.
We're not at the zoo.

SHE SIGHS

Or maybe give it a hand?

I'm sorry. No, no, don't, don't...
Don't apologise.

Ahh. Careful!

Sorry. I don't know...

SHE EXHALES

I'll go make breakfast.

Two missed calls from your dad at
4:30am, by the way.

You should call him.

TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS

# I want to scrap all of this

# And start over again

# I made a mock-up

# Painted all the detail in... #

MUFFLED SHOUTING

Big night?

Sorry. It's OK.

I've got a prescription
to refill. Tanatril.

Do I, erm...

..do I need a prescription for that?

For what? The err...

..the...down there.

The little blue one.

The... I can't hear you.
Viagra!

Oh.

No, you just have to fill out one
of these.

OK. Good.

OK, I will have a box, please.

Just a small one. They're all small.

Fine, yeah, sounds good.

Take a seat, it'll be a few minutes.

SCANNER BEEPS

Zack. Hey.

Oh, it's so good to see you. Erm...

Esther. Esther. Right.

I'm just waiting for a prescription.

Yeah. Me, too.

I've just been in my own little
world at the shampoo section.

Aw, thanks for the party
the other night.

Oh, it's no problem.

You off to work? Yeah.

Yeah, me, too. Me, too.

You feeling all right?

Uh-huh. Prescription?

Oh, it's just a blood pressure
thing. Oh. That's sh*t.

Though I'd probably swap it
for my UTI.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

Oh, no, it's all right,
I get them quite a lot.

It's not going full steam yet,
but me and Josh had this argument

this morning and I can just really
feel it coming on,

so I'm having a f*ck of a day.

Right. Wow. Yeah, thought I'd just
try and head it off

at the pass, you know? Mm-hm.

Although, it'll inevitably turn
into thrush

because my vag*na loves swimming
from one extreme to another.

Sorry, am I oversharing?
No...No, no. It's all good.

Esther Tate? Zachary Regan?

Oh, oh...oh, we should hang out some
time.

I would love that.

Esther, I should...

Oh, Zack. Great. Thank you.

Erm, so we were meant
to be meeting with

the head of marketing at
Aesop first thing.

About the April box, yeah, well...

Well, we were on our way over,
and "someone"...

..got into an argument with a
cyclist.

To be fair, he was being a d*ck.

Yeah, and as it turns out that
that cyclist...

Was the guy from Aesop?

Yeah. So he stormed out
the meeting.

OK. Dammit. This...

HE SIGHS

These things happen, this is neither
of your faults.

Yeah, it's definitely not mine.

I will smooth it over.
Thanks, mate, you're a life-saver.

Yeah...

Did you need something else?

Yeah, erm, why is Darren leaving?

Urgh. He hasn't talked to you yet?

No. It all seemed very sudden.

Yeah, so, we made a bet on it. I
heard he might be going to Spotify.

Yeah, and I reckon it might be
a MeToo thing.

That's why she hasn't signed
the leaving card yet.

In case it's a MeToo thing.
It's not.

I would tell you if it was a MeToo
thing. It would be a whole...

Oh, he never... He hasn't...
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

God, no. But, you know,
you never know.

No, no. I think he just
wanted to tell people

at the leaving party,
but err, yes, Spotify.

Yes! Give me my money, please.

Yeah, you know where you can
shove it.

INCOMING CALL
Uh, I've got to take this.

Out.

Hey. Don't make bets on your
co-workers. Sure, boss.

Hey, Zacky, my boy.
Isn't it like 4am there?

Yeah, yeah, I know. I know.

But, err, I just wanted to ask you
something.

It's...it's an emergency.

I just wanted...

I just wanted you to hear
this song, man.

f*ck' Steely Dan.
Best there ever was, man.

Uh, I can't hear it. Can you send me
a link, or something?

Oh, Zachary. You know, I really
want to come and see you next week,

but I might not be able to
get to the airport.

I sent you money last week
and I paid for your flight.

I know, I know.

f*cking Eric man, he was meant
to be sorting me out.

I've got to go. I'll call you on the
weekend.

Bye.

Oh, f*ck. Esther.

# You better go and run boy

# Go and get your fun boy

# No-one does it better,
go and get it for you

# And when they get you alone

# They'll never leave you alone

# Hey, hey

# You know you've got to do it

# Hey, hey

# You really ought to do it

# Hey, hey

# Know what you're going for

# Hey, hey

# And then you go for more

# And when they get you alone... #