02x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

I'm sorry DI carver,

your partner was

an excellent officer.

Can someone get rid

of this corpse?

What are the stats?

84% suitability.

- So, he's a robot?

- Yes.

Does that mean

he can't get hurt? He can't die?

No, it does not mean that.

Appreciate the flowers, Judy.

But I'm not dead.

I'm not Judy.

You've been dead a year

and then today they

tell me you're alive

but your part computer.

It's just a lot to take in.

Have you been seeing someone?

Yes, I have John.

Yeah.

Roy. You've been having

an affair.

Do you love her?

I knew it was you.

Major!

You brought down the Juggler.

Your future is now

absolutely assured.

Sierra four, be aware,

unidentified vehicles

approaching at speed.

They forced a stop.

Device armed.

sh*t.

Stick to the plan.

Do what they want.

Roger that.

Bring in the backup.

Not yet boss.

We'll scare her off.

Don't sh**t!

Don't sh**t!

Get down.

Hands on your head.

Move!

- Get down!

- Please, don't sh**t!

Hello, Liam.

Thought you'd

forgotten about me.

k*ll them.

Please! No!

John Major.

Oh, f*ck.

All units move in.

Go, go, go!

You have to press

the button, boss.

All units move in.

Go, go, go!

Former commissioner

Helen Chalmers, aka The Juggler,

I'm arresting you on suspicion

of conspiracy to m*rder.

You got the Juggler already.

Cleasby.

sh*t! sh*t, sh*t!

Sure, Cleasby's got the tattoo

but I've seen that tat before.

Twenty years ago,

at the department summer picnic.

Are you satisfied, john?

Took us a few weeks

to put the pieces together.

You're the Juggler, ma'am.

Cleasby's merely one

of your ba*ls.

But he's the last one

you'll ever toss.

You're gonna regret this, John.

If I go down, I'm going to make

damn sure you go down with me.

Even if I did go down,

that wouldn't necessarily

get you off.

As long as you're down

there long enough,

I don't care if I do get off.

And all those innocent people

you've fingered?

They'd finger me too,

given the chance.

Upfront, and behind my back.

Jesus.

Let's go, ma'am.

Wow!

What an unbelievable evening

it has been

here at the twenty-seventh

annual SIU Awards,

The Bobbies!

We've had awards for bravery,

for compassion,

and for innovation.

DI Carver. Didn't see you

at the Bobbies earlier.

Oh, we can't all go

out partying, can we?

Some of us have to work.

Tell me about it.

Dr. Nazia Rana, head of research

at Millikan BioTech.

She's an expert

in biological weapons.

Gone missing, suspected kidnap.

Ransom demand?

Nothing yet.

I've listed family, colleagues.

Just hope she hasn't fallen

into the wrong hands.

It's time

for tonight's main award,

the Bobbie.

For Outstanding Achievement,

in the Field of Excellence,

goes to the man who caught

the Juggler.

DI John Major!

- Congratulations.

- Cheers, Cammie. Whoa!

I love you too.

Fellow officers. Friends.

It might look like I brought

down the Juggler

by myself, because I did.

But I owe it all to one man.

My partner. My rock.

You all know who

I'm talking about.

Detective Inspector Paul Stokes!

Come up here and join me, Paul!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

We've only been together

two weeks,

but I didn't know what

a good partner was

until I met this guy!

I can trust him,

and he won't let me down.

Won't betray me!

Won't sleep with my wife.

Thank you.

Check out Dr. Rana's workplace

in the morning.

Good work.

Thanks.

Oh, here's where

he's been hiding.

I'm sorry I couldn't

come tonight.

Oh, I'm all right.

Congratulations on the

award, mate,

well deserved.

You should have

come tonight, Carver.

There was an award for you.

- No there wasn't

- No there wasn't!

He fell for it.

How was that falling for it?

See, Roy doesn't need

his own award.

He'll wait till I'm not looking

and then move in on mine.

That's how he operates,

ain't that right,

Carver?

Oh.

Look, John, Kelly chose

to move on, from both of us.

- Oh, yeah.

- I know we haven't spoken since,

but I thought we got past this.

Oh, you've moved on to someone

else then, have you?

Oh, right. What are you going

to take next?

Huh?

Oh, you want a piece

of DI Stokes?

Is that it?

I don't want nothing.

Get your hands off my Bobbie.

Didn't touch your

f*cking Bobbie.

Leave him DI Carver,

he's not worth it.

Don't interfere

in my business Judy!

Second thoughts twat him.

Oh!

What the hell happened

last night?

Two Detective Inspectors

wrestling

like a pair of dogs on heat.

DI Carver is jealous

of my Bobbie, ma'am.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- I'm not jealous.

Oh so who was the one

that nailed Chalmers? Not you.

You didn't do it

on your own, did you?

- You wanna go again?

- Stop it. Enough!

Look, I understand things

are difficult.

You were partners

for a long time.

You've both been in intimate

relationships with

the same woman.

You're bound

to be asking yourselves

who did she prefer?

Who was the more

sensitive lover? Or

or the more exuberant?

Was she thinking of him

when she was with me,

at my most vulnerable moments.

It won't happen again boss.

Because she's dumped you both.

No, the fighting won't

happen again.

John and I both want the same

thing at the end of the day.

And neither of you can have her.

I mean to get the job done.

On which note.

Still no ransom demand

for Dr. Rana.

We're interviewing potential

witnesses and her employer.

Any developments with you two?

Er, yes. Er, he did me a kind

of Mexican

banquet the other night,

which was lovely.

Er, not met his kids yet so,

we think it might be a bit early

but they know about me, so

There's something seriously

wrong with him.

It's like he's been

Emotionally bewildered and

in some kind of non-specifically

creepy relationship

with DI Stokes?

- Oh, You've noticed.

- Carver, he lives in my lab.

f*cking hell.

Uh-huh.

That was me.

Yeah.

It was.

So go on then,

check his code or something.

Find out what caused it.

Ah I think I can see what

caused all this

It seems to be you,

sleeping with his wife

while he was dead.

Yeah, pretty sure

that's what caused it.

So you're not going

to do anything?

His police skills are the best

they've been

since I brought him back from

the dead.

Which, by the way, still

waiting for a thank you.

Fine.

All right.

It's not as if we

were partners any more.

You know? I've moved on.

I'm up for promotion.

Then there is no problem.

- There's no problem here.

DI Carver?

I wanted the boss

Roxy Millikan, CEO.

I'm sorry, it's just that

you look so young.

I didn't schedule time

to assuage your embarrassment,

so let's get to the point.

Have you caught

Dr. Rana yet?

Caught her?

We didn't realise until now.

She's taken a server, containing

information that this

company needs back.

What information?

What kind of information?

It's a somewhat

embarrassing situation.

I didn't come here

to assuage your embarrassment.

Dr. Rana was head

of our bio-weapons division.

What sort of information

do you think she's taken?

Look. You need to find Dr Rana

and fast.

Rana's not been kidnapped.

She's stolen a blueprint

for bioweapons.

We need to alert SO12.

You want to take this.

- Carver.

- DI Carver.

Listen to me very carefully.

Untraceable.

Encrypted at source.

I have significant information.

Is this about Dr. Rana?

It's about you, DI Carver.

You're a c*ck.

A c*ck and a w*nk*r.

What's your name please, caller?

My name is not important.

You're right it's not important

because I know your name.

It's John Major.

No, it isn't.

John, I'm looking

at you right now.

You're on your phone,

ya bell-end.

That's a coincidence.

You're a knobhead, DI Carver.

Ok, bye, nan. I love you.

I'm working

a possible terror plot.

Right, I've got no time

for your juvenile bullshit.

No!

We're too busy

for your bullshit.

- Yeah, you want some?

- Roy!

Come on! Jog on! Go on. Yeah?

Where's your Bobby, Roy?

Roy! What are you doing to him?

Me? An hour ago, you said there

was nothing wrong with him.

I agreed he had personal issues,

which are now impacting

his cognition,

facilitating a decline

in global function.

- What?

- Quick example.

He's peeing on your

computer right now.

Whoa-hoo!

Whoa! f*ck!

For f*ck's sake!

Shh!

Shouting will only

make it worse.

Worse? How? Fix him!

This is amygdaloid.

What?

It's emotional.

What? Wha

Can't you do emotional stuff?

I'm a computer scientist.

I have no friends and I spend

sixteen hours a day

eating breakfast cereal

in an underground laboratory.

Does it sound like

I can "do emotional stuff"?

You broke him.

You fix him.

f*cking hell!

Let's talk about why

you feel ignored.

Kelly, I need your help.

Roy! Roy, I'm in the middle

of a session.

Is he still not any better?

We agreed, no contact.

All right.

- It's fine, yeah I'll go.

- Yeah.

Talk to your husband.

Eh? No. No.

The marriage is over.

Oh, my God. No.

That's just going to make

John way more confused.

- That's literally not possible.

- Look.

Roy, he isn't your

problem any more.

Well, tell him that!

He won't leave me alone.

He keeps interfering when

I'm trying to do my job.

Oh, I can't possibly imagine

how that must feel.

I'd talk to him,

but I I just don't know

the right words to say.

Look I'm sure you do.

He's all shitted-up in the head.

Okay, maybe you don't.

But you you know?

You're a therapist.

It's your job

and you're incredible at it.

Yeah, Roy and the first rule

of therapy is

don't take your husband

as a client.

You just said the

marriage is over.

I'm not asking you

to get back with him.

Just give him a call.

Please.

DI Major,

I need to talk to you.

Bit busy right now, Judy.

I don't care.

I need to say something.

Are you listening to me?

All ears.

It's about my name.

- My name is not

Yeah. Tell me later, Judy.

No! No!

You will listen to me now!

My name is not Judy.

- So,

- It's

One moment, Judy.

I'll call you back.

It's

Judith.

My name is Judith.

Well, you only had to say.

From now on

I'll call you Judith.

You won't because

I've been promoted.

You can call me Detective

Sergeant Papastathopoulos.

Pap

- Papath

- Papastathopoulos.

Pa

Oh, f*ck off.

Kelly! Hi. Er, long time, er,

no no see. How are you doing?

Sorry. John John, there's

Something's happened

to your voice.

What? Oh.

Sorry, I've not switched

the um

Hang on a minute.

Is that better?

No.

f*ck. Um

If I go into settings

How do you switch

the voice thing off?

It's Te testing!

Testing, it's John here.

Your husband, John Major.

John, It doesn't matter.

John, I was checking

to see how you are.

Oh, I'm doing extremely

extremely well, um

We'll go for a coffee.

I'll text you.

This is nice.

Like old times.

Yeah, no, just to be clear, this

isn't about reconciliation or

Oh, God no. I mean,

neither of us wants to do that.

So what is it about?

Er, Roy asked

if I would see you.

Roy?

Yes, John. Roy, your friend.

I haven't got any friends

called Roy.

My best friend

is DI Paul Stokes.

Right. Yeah, no, that's another

thing. He's quite concerned

about how close you are coming

to your new partner.

Well, why would he think that?

Well, just the fact that,

he's here now for example.

Paul and I don't keep secrets

from each other.

Unlike my previous partner who

shall not be named, Roy Carver.

Well, Roy asked

me to tell you, so

Yeah, well. I don't want to hear

about it Kelly. Come on, Paul,

we're leaving.

I'm worried about Roy!

I, er

I think he's struggling

without you.

Did he say that?

Er I can't remember

his exact words.

Try.

Er I just think

it's really

tough on him,

you've so obviously

moved on with a life and

new friend.

Yeah, I have.

This is a good opportunity

for you to be the bigger man.

You know?

Just go easy on him, yeah?

Just because

two people can't

be partners any more,

doesn't mean they

can't get along.

Exactly.

- Do you wanna grab some dinner?

- No.

Good, me neither. Come on Paul.

You're all right,

I'll come back.

No, no, no. It's okay.

Have your snack.

I thought you'd have

finished your shift by now.

I have. I'm

Just waiting for Paul.

We're doing an escape room.

- That'll be fun.

- Yeah.

You ever done one?

No.

- I've heard they're good though.

- Oh, yeah.

Something a bit different

isn't it?

You'll have to let me know

how it goes.

Oh, yeah. No, I will do.

Definitely. Some.

I'll definitely let you know

how it pan pans out.

- John, listen, I just wanna

- Roy, I-

- No, go on.

- No, no, no.

- No, no, you

- No, let me just tell you

No, hang on.

- I just wanted to say

- Sorry, Sorry, mate.

Just gotta take this, sorry.

- Hello?

- DI Carver.

Listen to me carefully.

f*cking hell, John.

What?

I have information for you.

How is it me?

I'm standing right here.

Well, if it's not you, it's your

stupid f*cking mate then.

DI Carver,

are you listening to me?

Yeah I'm listening.

Who is this?

A representative of Dr. Rana.

Come alone DI Carver.

In thirty minutes.

Roy.

Your Pop-Tart!

Dr. Rana?

It was you who called me,

wasn't it?

Is that the server you took?

Know what's on it?

Genome sequence

for a synthetic bio-weapon

that could decimate

the population.

I should know, I designed it.

What are you going to do

with it?

The right thing.

Now that information

only exists here.

Let me disappear

so they can't get it.

Knowledge can be dangerous,

DI Carver.

In the words

of Robert Oppenheimer

Got the bugger!

And, I brought your Pop-Tart!

For f*ck's sake,

what are you doing here?

I told you to come alone!

I did come alone! He followed me

because he's a f*cking stalker!

I'm helping you out.

Kelly said you were struggling

without me.

Me? No, I'm fine.

You're clearly not fine because

you needed my help to catch

Oh. Oh.

Oh, bollocks.

Plan B.

In case you didn't let me go.

I have to disappear

one way or another.

I think I've made a mistake.

Hold on.

Here, just

now bear with me.

f*ck it. Stay back, Roy!

She'll k*ll us all.

- No. She won't.

- I f*cking will!

Okay.

Let's just have a nice,

calm chat, shall we?

There's a few things

I want to say.

Not you, her.

I've got a message

for my best friend,

in case I don't make it.

- No, you don't need to.

- You're a special person.

The one constant

in this f*cked up world,

and the best partner I ever had.

John, you can tell him yourself.

It's all right, Roy, I just did.

Did you get that? I was saying

that you're the best partner I

Yeah, I've got it, yeah.

- Yeah, I know, I got it.

- Now get back!

Why don't you give me

that grenade?

Jesus!

- John, it's a grenade!

- I know it's a f*cking grenade!

Oh, f*ck a duck!

You're darn lucky

you both weren't k*lled.

I know, boss.

I'm a very lucky man.

Now about this request for you

to be partnered back up.

It's highly irregular

given your history.

After all, you've both been

intimate with the same woman,

you've both

traced your tongues

along the same curves.

We know the history, boss.

But what do I do?

You two fit together

like a hotdog fits a bun.

You're back in business.

Okay. But as long as

it's an equal partnership.

We both do the work,

we both share the credit.

Totally.

Oh, and, Major, nice work

bringing in Dr. Rana,

you're on fire!

Thank you, ma'am.

I surprise myself sometimes.

John.

Appreciate that, mate.

What?

You, requesting for us

to be partners again.

It means a lot.

I didn't put in the request.

I thought you put it in.

I put the request in, didn't i?

No offence, but you were

doing my f*cking head in.

Huh. Turns out he's Welsh.

Hello?

You have a call from prisoner

Liam Cleasby.

At HMP Plissken.

What do you want, you ball bag?

An apology?

Turns out I'm not the Juggler

after all,

I'm just a low-level drug de

Don't hang up!

This thing goes deeper

than you think.

I'm ready to talk

about everything.