01x08 - Shirley Keeper/3, 2, 1

[bunniefuu]

[theme music]

[loud expl*si*n]

[siren wailing]

[tires screech]

[ladders creaking]

[water gushing]

[hammering]

[car rumbling]

[whooshes]

-[car revs]
-[dolphins trilling]

[tires screech]

[handcuffs creak]

[monkeys chattering]

[snake hisses]

[tiger roars]

[narrator] It's Wild Wilderness

with your host
Westbrook W. Sleet.

Hello, fellow adventurers.

Welcome to Wild Wilderness.

I'm Westbrook W. Sleet,

and today, we're gonna explore
the most complex

and exotic creature
in all of nature...

man!

Human beings are often found
in complex urban societies,

called cities.
Like all natural habitats,

cities can be full
of dangerous surprises,

but natural law and order
always prevails.

Surprise. My mic now!

[Duke] You'll never escape.

Law and order
will naturally prevail.

See? Now, come.

Let's try to find
one of these humans.

[elephant trumpeting]

We're searching for a human

in what zoologists call
a penthouse.

-[Fendrich snoring]
-Oh, I think I see one now.

[snoring]

Sinclair...

[screams]

Human beings startle easily.

What are you doing in my home?

They can be
aggressively territorial.

Humans communicate
by an assortment of sounds.

Who are you talking to?

Ooh, this curious fella
has taken an interest in us.

Little does he know
our millions of viewers

are just as curious about him.

-Aah!
-Aw!

Seems this one's a little shy.

[Fendrich] Get out of here!

He's trying to communicate.

Let's try to find
a common language.

Hey, little guy, look.

A signed contract allowing
Wild Wilderness

unlimited access to your life
for 24 hours.

-Here, sniff.
-[sniffing]

Hmm. The signature does
have my scent.

But this is supposed to be
a documentary about me,

RE Fendrich,

the bighearted altruist
whose family built this city.

Filming me in my underwear
only sort of accomplishes that.

Yes, like all
of nature's creatures,

by examining the daily lives
of human beings,

we learn as much about
ourselves as we do about them.

Let's see what insights

this rare, dignified critter
shows us.

[elephant trumpeting]

Humans, like all animals,
have grooming rituals,

which keeps them free
of ticks and mites

and helps to attract
potential mates.

Pinkie ring.

Silver coin.

Ruby.

[groans]

[elephants trumpeting]

Like the alpha male
in any primate community,

RE Fendrich is what's called
a "business tycoon,"

who must remove any challenge
to his leadership position,

as well as
occasionally fling poo.

Hey, I only did that 16 times,

and each was part of a delicate
business negotiation.

[criminal] Yo, Boss.

You got any jobs for us today?

Bank heists, racketeerings,
maybe a little loitering?

[laughs]
Oh, look, it's my...

book club.

Vito, Big Betty, Hacksaw Hank,

Clara the Criminal
and Frankie "Bad Guy" Lupelli.

[grunts]
Sorry, guys,

I didn't get a chance
to finish Wuthering Heights.

But my heart breaks
for Catherine and Heathcliff.

We'll have to discuss it
next week.

Wexler and Ravenhurst are here.

This is Jamieson,
my right-hand man.

[slurps]

Dr Wexler,
Dr Ravenhurst, welcome.

We're making a publicity film

to show what Fendrich
National Global Intergalactic

Whole Universe Times Infinity
Way Better Than Sinclair,

Incorporated is all about.

We have nothing to hide.

[laughs]
Oops... forgot my hacksaw.

Can't criminally
intimidate people

in your name without this.

That... didn't just happen.

So how can I help you?

Because helping is what
RE Fendrich is all about.

We're heading up

the international
Mars exploration mission.

Our calculations have shown

your city is the best place
to launch from.

Humans communicate
on many levels.

What we require is a location
to construct a massive launch,

site training,
and command centre.

We found two ideal properties.

The old broken down warehouse

filled with shards
of glass and spiders

owned by Mary Sinclair--

Sinclair!

[clears throat]
Yes... you were saying?

Uh... and the second location,

the Fendrich Adorable
Baby Otter Hospital.

Ah, the first facility created

for the care
of adorable baby otters.

It's the heart and soul
of Fendrich

National Global
Intergalactic Whole Universe

Times Infinity Way Better
Than Sinclair, Incorporated.

We will pay $60 million
for the right location.

We can begin demolition
on the hospital immediately.

Body language can say as much,

if not more,
than spoken language.

Public support
of the mission is essential.

People care
much less about shards

of glass and spiders
than adorable baby otters.

See how he taps his fingers.

This is a behavioural trait
signifying plotting

and scheming, probably
for nefarious purposes.

We are still negotiating
with Ms Sinclair

over the price of
the old broken-down warehouse.

Leaning forward and lowering
his voice tells Fendrich

that if he offers a considerably
lower price for his property,

they'd be willing to overlook
the baby otter issue.

Nein. That would be unethical.

Sinclair's warehouse
is the right choice.

We will leave now.

Wait!

I bet that cheat Sinclair,
failed to tell you

her old broken down warehouse
suddenly blows up

all the time, for no reason.

That sounds remarkably
improbable and convenient,

-Herr Fendrich.
-Yeah, we ain't buyin' it.

And by "ain't buying it,"

I also mean your otter hospital,

so that sentence works
on two levels.

You're making a huge mistake.

No, her math checks out.

Two levels.

Good day, Mr Fendrich.

It seems Fendrich was outwitted

by his archrival, Mary Sinclair,

who wasn't even here.
[soft chuckle]

But humans are able to accept
humiliating defeats like this

with dignity and grace.

[grunting]

[Fendrich] Set a meet
with Daisy Kaboom Lewis.

Uh, sir, do you really think
that's a good idea with, uh--

Do it!

[elephants trumpeting]

[pop music playing
over headphones]

[Fendrich] You're late, Kaboom.

I was finishing a job.

[expl*si*n]

Good. I need
your full attention.

Tonight. Sinclair's
old warehouse.

I want you to plant
a bunch of... daisies,

-if you catch my drift.
-Daisies.

Right, I follow you.

It's gotta look like
these daisies just...

blossomed, for no reason.

Aw, yeah. A sudden
expl*si*n of beauty?

It's a big job,
you'll need a crew of poets.

Oh, I know just
the poets for this.

And you're absolutely sure
we understand each other?

[Daisy] Perfectly.

Ha! I can't wait
to see Sinclair's face

when she finds out I stole
$60 million from her. Ha, ha!

Mr Fendrich?

[shrieks]
Lieutenant DeTain.

How long were you--?

What was that about
stealing $60 million?

No. I said, um,
Wixty Pillion Lollars.

You know, the fashion designer?

Sinclair wants to hire him
for the Mayor's ball.

I plan to get him first.

But it looks like
he didn't show.

Oh, well. Gotta run!

Hello? 'Tis I,
Wixty Pillion Lollars.

[laughs]
I have your gown designs.

They will dazzle.

Dazzle, I say.
[laughs]

Hello?

[elephant trumpeting]

[Westbrook]
We're outside the warehouse

owned by Fendrich's rival,
Mary Sinclair.

Yes, the scientists are
giving Sinclair the $60 million,

and RE Fendrich is nothing
if not gracious in defeat.

[Daisy] This is Kaboom.
We're in place.

Are you and the poets ready
to plant all those daisies?

Oh, yeah.
When these things blossom,

they won't know what hit 'em.

See, in my goodwill,
I'm adding a little beauty

to the place before
it blows up for no reason.

It's a shame you're not showing
the other side of human nature.

The nasty, lying, smelly,
cheating, Sinclair side

that would sell a property
that randomly explodes.

In fact, if you hurry,
you can probably

get a random expl*si*n on tape
for the whole world to see.

Brilliant! Random explosions

are the very soul
of good television.

Shh!

Poets, let's move.

Thine eyes sparkle a glistening
sea beneath a brushstroke sun.

Tis a sailor's fevered dream...

Oh, great tree before me,
all made of wood and leafy bits.

How high you rise.

The streets grab my legs
when I must walk.

Walk. Talk.

Hear the chicken squawk.

[Fendrich] What the heck
are you doing?

What? I'm planting daisies
with poets like you told me to.

[Fendrich] That was code.

You're supposed to blow up
the warehouse!

Oh... yeah, that makes
much more sense.

Well, I got expl*sives
in the van.

We'll load 'em in the warehouse,

I got the trigger right here.

-Look... Oops.
-[clicks]

[expl*si*n]

Uh, can I get a ride home?

[Fendrich yelling]

[helicopter droning]

[grunting]

[sirens wailing]

Daisy Kaboom Lewis.

We could see your handiwork
a mile away.

Oh, hey, Duke.

That was an accident.

I was just plantin'
daisies, honest.

-[poets grunting]
-[poet 1] Hey!

[poet 2] Why are they
chasing me?

Hello. We're making
a smashing episode

of Wild Wilderness.

The subject of our documentary
in the limo

said this place will explode.

Oh, he did, huh?

You're under arrest
for attempting

to get an expl*si*n
into a TV show.

[yelps]

That was exciting stuff, indeed.

Now, all we need is to film
you sleeping for eight hours.

-Hello?
-[Fendrich] Forget it.

That's a wrap. Go!

[engine revs]

[sighs]
Humans.

[closing theme music]