02x09 - Nonna

[bunniefuu]

Narrator: They say
nothing tastes sweeter

than the fruits
of your own labor.

But for those born with a
silver spoon in their mouth,

nothing tastes worse than
bringing home the bacon.

♪♪

I love spring cleaning, the day
when we take all of our money

out of the bank and
wash it by hand.

Oh, it makes me
sick to think about

how many people have
touched this cash.

You, you... disgusting.

Oh, our monies are
taking a bath together.

Smile, sweetie!

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

[ Camera whirs ]

Who's this b*tch who
keeps getting in the way?

[ Stomach growls ]

Time for brunch.

All that cleaning
made me hungry.

Once again, I'll work myself
sick to prepare the food.

♪♪

Hmm. Let's do something
light, like beef tenderloin.

It's the perfect way
to start your day.

♪♪

[ Buzzer sounds ]

Too wet? Never
heard that before.

Not to worry, ladies.

I know how to get the money
dry quickly and fastly.

Both: Debra! No!

[ Laughs manically ]

[ Both screaming ]

[ Glass shatters ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Sighs ]

Hold on, all our money's
gone. How did that happen?

Why did you do that?! Did you
just discover fire yesterday?

Yes! Fire is so crazy!

That was all of
our money, Debra.

We need that to
have a personality!

So, let's just go to
the bank and get more.

They give it away for free.

That's not how it works.

You buy money at
the bank, idiot!

Okay, break it up, break it up.

We are wasting valuable energy

when we could be out
searching for food.

Let's go to Lemoncurd's only
restaurant before we pass away.

[ All moaning ]

[ Italian music plays ]

♪♪

[ Italian accent ] Welcome
to Nonna's Nonnaria.

Feel free to seat-a yourselves.

[ Italian accent ] We will.

[ Tables scrape, clang ]

Each dish contains
the secret recipe

straight from my
homeland in Saucily.

Looks great. We'll have it.

Have what? It.

Ooh, Mama Mia.

Ohh, this is taking forever!

[ All crying ]

[ All gasp ]

♪♪

Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait. We must say grace.

All: Jesus died
up on that cross

for pasta noodles,
cheese, and sauce.

Jesus came out of that hole so
we could eat from one big bowl.

A... men!

♪♪

Debra #3: [ Normal
voice ] Mmm!

Oh, my God.

Oh, no, thanks.
I'm off the sauce.

[ Glasses clink ]

[ Groans ]

Oh, thank you, but I'm so full,

I couldn't eat
that much leather.

You misunderstand
me. This is the bill.

No, that's the Bill.

Guilty as charged.

You owe me $15,000. Pay up.

Funny of you to speak up now.

You were awfully
quiet this morning

when I was burning
all of our money.

[ All gasp ]

You will work in this restaurant
until you have paid this bill.

Capiche?

Come with me.

You'll be working the
front of the house.

You'll be waiting tables.

And you, you got a
face for the kitchen.

I can't work, Nonna! I
have a doctor's note.

[ Gasps ]

Aah! Having a job is really gonna
throw off my work-life balance...

All life, no work.

Let's make a run for it.
Every man for himself.

How dare you disobey the Nonna!

Hubba hubba.

If you don't make this right,

you're going to end
up like all the others

who try to dine and-a dash.

Feast your eyes on Nonna's
secret recipe. [ Laughs ]

[ All moaning ]

All: Nonna, no!

No, Nonna!

[ Laughs ]

[ Moaning continues ]

Pay me by the end of the
day, or your udders are mine.

[ Debras whimpering ]

♪♪

[ Door opens, bell rings ]

Welcome to Nonna's Nonnaria.
Table three right this way.

Table three right this way.

Table three right this way.

Can't we sit at another table?

There's already
people at table three.

Sorry. No. Unfortunately,

that is the only
number that I know.

So, what are we having?

I'll have the spaghetti
a lasagna. Uh-huh.

I'll have the
spaghetti a la mode.

Uh-huh.

What the hell? Let's
have a bottle of marinara

for the whole table.

I'm not driving. [ Laughs ]

Great. Let me just
read that back to you.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Great.

We'll get that in right away.

Oh, God, I was afraid someone
would order something.

♪♪

As promised, table three.

[ Bell dings ]

Order up! Looks great!

Thanks! It's a family recipe.

Spaghetti a la bell,
compliments of the chef.

[ Bell dings ]

This bell tastes out of tune.

Let's get out of here. Waiter.

What the hell is she doing?

♪♪

Oh, it's the restaurant dance.

Ooh, I want to play,
too! I want to play!

♪♪

That's it! We're leaving!

Party at my house! No parents!

[ All cheer ]

Hold on!

Hey! You forgot to pay!

Come back! Bad
service ain't free.

[ Snores ]

♪♪

What are we gonna do? We
didn't raise the dough.

I can't lose my udders. What
will I do when I'm thirsty?

I bet we could raise the money.
People love helping women.

I have an idea. We'll
have to act fast.

Who knows how long this
crone's gonna be out?

♪ We hate, we hate,
we hate your guts ♪

♪ We hate, we hate,
we hate your guts ♪


the privilege of running!

So strange.

I'm very tapped into
the 5K community,

and I didn't hear a
peep about this one.

Well, the need just
arose. Move along.

May I ask, where
is the money going?

To a good cause. Oh,
that's so great to hear.

I love causes,
especially good ones.

Okay, line up! Move
on! Come along!

Go, go, go, go! Go, go, go!



And they're off... my back.

Oh!

Where do you think
they're going?

It's out of our hands now.

[ Gasps ] According
to my calculations,

we made enough money to pay
Nonna back and then some.

[ Gasps ] Let's
go settle up. Yah!

♪ We hate, we hate,
we hate your guts ♪

♪ We hate, we hate,
we hate your guts ♪

Nonna, we got your money.

I didn't think
you had it in you.

Let's see.

♪ Ahh ♪

That's-a money, all
right. You are free to go.

But I don't want to
see your split ends

in my restaurant
ever again, huh?

You know, Nonna, we
really appreciate

a woman who sticks to her word.

No one's ever held us
accountable before.

You're an inspiration.

It's nice to hear
because it's not easy

being a small-business Nonna.

Aw! Bring it in.

Come on!

Ooh! [ Squeals ]

Uh, what are you doing? Now!

[ Debras laugh manically ]

Thanks for everything, Nonna.

[ Debras laugh manically ]

[ Dramatic music plays ]

Remember everything
I gave to you...

A cold floor to sleep on,

no food to eat... [
Chuckles nervously ]

casual Friday.

You've milked us for
all we are worth.

Now it's time to milk you!

No! No!!

[ All cheer ]

We did it! We
defeated the Nonna!

We all defeated the Nonna!
Thank God we're finally free.

Yeah! [ Laughs ]

I think you're confused.

We're not letting you out!

Stop making
everything about you!

[ Giggles ]

♪♪

[ Cows mooing ]

♪♪

Debra's Diarria... Finally,
our own restaurant.

It's what we've always wanted.

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

[ Camera whirs ]

Wow, women really
can do anything.

Nonna taught me that.

I wonder what she's
doing right now.

[ All sigh ]

[ Nonna screaming ]

♪♪

[ Breathing heavily ]

That finish line has got to
be around here somewhere.

[ Creature growls, wolf howls ]

That must be it.
Come on, everybody.

Let's follow the sound!

♪♪

Runner: No! No, no! Aah!

[ Screams ]