01x06 - Episode 6

[bunniefuu]

Today, I beg your indulgence
while I relate a tale about Ozu,

the despicable man who is
both my arch-enemy and sworn friend.

In those days, I was a sparklingly
untarnished college freshman

who saw countless doors to a rose-colored
campus life open before him.

KEIFUKU RAILWAY RESEARCH CLUB

Raven-haired maidens waited for me
to join them in the love wagon

of a slow-moving love train.

If our eyes met,
it could even be an express train...

In believing that,
I was a fool beyond all redemption.

The Keifuku Railway Research Club

was not your ordinary gathering
of train-lovers.

Rather, it was a fantastical circle
dedicated to the hypothesis

that a single railway once linked

Kyoto and Fukui prefectures.

KYOTO, OTSU, KUSATSU
RANDEN LINE, EIDEN LINE

According to club legend,

the Randen Line and Eiden Line
were connected at one time

and formed a giant railway
that spread north of Kurama,

running along the Mackerel Highway
all the way to Fukui.

Even now,
relics of the Mackerel Highway Line

can be found all over town.

It was completely fictional.

Doesn't this look like a railroad tie?

- Definitely!
- Right?

I found what looks like a switch!

- What?
- What?

This is an important discovery!

The club's main focus was tracing the
fictional Mackerel Highway Line's route

and finding artifacts
of that legendary period.

MACKEREL HIGHWAY
KYOTO EAST, WAKAYAMA WEST

WESTERN ROUTE OF MACKEREL HIGHWAY

And now,

in honor of today's successful expedition,

Cheers!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

After a half day's hard work spent
surveying, we would recap

at our regular izakaya.

Whoever made that day's most plausible
discovery would be treated to one drink.

Having once discovered a "Mackerel line
train car" that carried seafood,

I too have received that honor.

In other words,
the Keifuku Railway Research Club

was a second-to-none intellectual game

where adults pondered away
about an imaginary railway.

Sitting at the far end of the group
was an ominous man

with a face of ill portent.

That thing over there...

Is it the Fukui Yokai Amabigo?

What a mean thing to say.

There's no need to worry,
I am your compatriot!

This was my first
and worst contact with Ozu.

MISOGI FILM CLUB

Ozu was a student in the same year as me.

Jogasaki, how is it possible that one man
could possess such cinematic talent?

Such charisma!
You're the Kurosawa of Sakyo Ward!

You there!
Get rid of that pond turtle by tomorrow!

It seemed that Ozu
was a member of multiple clubs

in his bid to enjoy meaningless youth.

KURAMA TEMPLE

Approximately one month after we joined
the Keifuku Railway Research Club,

just as we finished surveying
the freshly green Kurama Mountains

and were gathered for a recap
at our regular izakaya near Demachiyanagi,

Ozu made a proposal.

Listen up, everyone! Why don't we try
something a little bolder this year?

Let's summarize our discoveries in a zine
and sell it at the school festival!

Our work will have great benefit
to society

and must be shared
with the rest of the world!

The wonder of the Mackerel Highway line

belongs not only to us,
but to all train lovers...

No, to all romantic dreamers
across the world!

Are you sure that's a good idea?

I hope it doesn't lead to in-fighting.

Looking back, the call for caution spoken
by that man was entirely correct.

The Mackerel Highway Line existed
in the hearts of each member

like a railway to their subconscious.

Everyone had their own vision.

But presenting an overall vision
in the form of a zine

would inevitably require convergence
into an objective description

and that would violate
the free spirit the club was known for.

That's completely unrealistic.

What you're saying isn't reasonable.

That wouldn't be profitable.

Thanks to Ozu's zine project,

the mood within the club
plunged headlong into gloom.

You really need to study more
about railroad history!

Oh, really? Well, you don't know crap
about railroad engineering!

No one could lay track in those mountains!

- They could use a ballast!
- What good would that do?

I can imagine what I want!

Says the guy who can't even imagine
how the seats would feel!

Says the guy who can't distinguish
the sounds of a running train!

Tensions hadn't calmed
even after summer vacation began,

and the zine itself
failed to come together.

What if we just forget
about this whole zine idea?

How can we retreat at this point?

- Yes!
- That's right!

But the Mackerel Highway line is supposed
to exist in the hearts of each member...

It's our duty to present
the question to the public.

Are you saying you don't have
an opinion worth fighting for?

The man who criticized me was the same
one who had previously expressed caution.

He had suddenly transformed
into an around-the-clock complaint machine

and after being expelled,
he created his own rebel offshoot,

The Keifuku Railway Research Club
Fukui Faction.

Even then conflict persisted

and further splits occurred
over the two train routes,

leading to two new factions, one for the
Randen Line and one for the Eiden line.

KEIFUKU RAILWAY RESEARCH CLUB

RANDEN LINE RESEARCH CLUB
EIDEN LINE RESEARCH CLUB

So it's gone that far...

No one even brings up
the zine anymore now.

How many members are left?

Just you and me.

- Only two?
- That's right.

And so, the former Keifuku Railway
Research Club died with a whimper.

But the story doesn't end there.

Shortly after
the school festival concluded,

the Keifuku Railway Research Club
Fukui Faction

approached the Randen and Eiden Clubs
about a truce.

Now that the festival's over,
what do you say we make up?

- What?
- What?

How did we end up
fighting like that, anyway?

That's easy, it was Ozu!
Ozu was the instigator.

It's true that he did stir things up.

Ozu told me some things too.

He said you guys were criticizing me
behind my back.

- We weren't!
- We weren't!

As everyone commenced
with their confessions,

it became clear that Ozu had been
secretly fanning the flames of conflict.

It was Ozu who had expelled
the radical Fukui faction

and Ozu who pit the Randen and
Eiden Line factions against each other.

Not to mention that the initial spark
of the conflict was the zine he proposed.

He was conspiring against us
the whole time!

He really is a devil.

But Ozu is gone now.

There's no more reason for us to fight!

- Okay!
- Okay!

All's well that ends well, right?

THE NEW KEIFUKU RAILWAY
RESEARCH CLUB

But it's awfully unfair of them
to make me the sole villain.

Hold on a second. What about me?

Beats me.

I'm the only one who's been left out!

The rest of that year
is unbearable to remember.

In despair, I locked myself in the
narrow confines of my 4.5 tatami room.

My only visitor was Ozu,
that half-man, half-yokai.

The fruitless flowers blooming profusely
all around me

fell helplessly to the tatami floor.

Because of you, my fulfilling
student life has been ruined.

That goes for both of us.

After all, no matter what path you choose,
you're bound to end up like this.

Says who?

This just means that you and I are
tied together by the black thread of fate.

Why is this happening?

After two years of university,

I had wandered the wasteland of 4.5
tatami rooms and all I had to show for it

was an unsavory bond
with this monstrous scoundrel.

I could at least be gifted
a true compatriot,

or better yet, a raven-haired maiden!

It was on a February day in that period
that I first met Akashi.

Hey!

You dropped this.

Thank you very much.

That's...

Mochiguma.

The fluffy squad, Mochiguman.

A single ray of light had seemed to pierce
the dark chasm of my student life,

but to my horror, Akashi was a disciple
of Shimogamo Yuusuiso's oldest student,

Seitaro Higuchi,

as well as the younger sister in rank
of Higuchi's other disciple, Ozu.

Have I been forsaken
by God and Buddha both?

Akashi began coming
to my room from time to time.

To be precise,
my room was used to discuss solutions

to the impossible tasks Master Higuchi
gave them as part of their training.

He said he wants a hanpen fish cake
the size of a single tatami mat.

Now there's a truly challenging mission.

Was it a metaphor?
Or a riddle of some kind?

No, I'll bet it's exactly as it sounds.

He wants to try eating one of that size.

I've always found it curious,

but why do you two play along with this
incomprehensible training of his?

It's because we find it
incomprehensible that we must train.

Akashi's words seemed to hit on
a core truth of their training,

but also sounded like self-deception.

Whatever the case,
Akashi began visiting my room,

and my tatami-tinted campus life
began to take on a bit of color.

One day, Akashi came in a sullen mood.

A film I made was criticized.

I understand that
I must accept criticisms in stride, but...

Akashi belonged to the Misogi Film Club

and despite her cool facade,
she churned out b-movies left and right.

Judging from the way she drank,

she must have gotten a harsh review
from the upperclassmen.

I was told to make something more sincere,

and that my films
have no thematic message.

That must have been Jogasaki.

He gets insecure when he doesn't have
a clear theme to work with.

Correct.

I was instructed to make a movie
that would inspire the weak-willed

- to self-reform.
- Who does he think he is?

People don't need self-reform.

The weak-willed
won't change that easily anyway.

Indeed.

On the contrary, what if you made a story
about someone who uses their influence

to actually make people more weak-willed?

That sounds fun.

Nothing more thrilling than watching
motivated people succumb to laziness.

And if you added in something frivolous
like time travel, even better.

A weak-willed university student

travels back in time
to the fall of the Shogunate

and one by one transforms
the revolutionaries into lazy bums!

I like it!

And in the end,
let's destroy the universe!

Unable to cope with historical changes,
all of space-time collapses!

And they all live unhappily ever after!

I think we're onto something!

I like it too!

I really like it!

My eyes have opened.

I'm going to sh**t that movie for real!

That's the spirit!

And while you're at it, you should
cast Jogasaki, Aijima, and the others.

They'll do it gladly without realizing
that it's actually criticism towards them!

You really are cunning, Ozu.
I'm impressed!

I'm glad that the story which sprung
from our nonsensical chatter

made Akashi's heart flutter.

On the other hand,
I shuddered upon hearing Ozu's plan.

It seemed he was once again trying
to foment a w*r between club members.

Oh, right.

Senpai, please let me use
your apartment as the filming location.

Sure. Go ahead.

My, my.

It seems there's trouble
on the horizon again...

Senpai.

You viewers are aware
of the disastrous events that followed.

In the end,
we really did endanger the universe

and also gave birth to another b-movie,
Summer Time Machine Blues.

Even Ozu couldn't have predicted that.