Midwinter Break (2026)

[bunniefuu]

(birds chirping)

(children chattering faintly)

(dog barking)

(laughter)

-(birds chirping)

-(traffic rumbling quietly)

(children chattering faintly)

(faint, indistinct chatter

continues)

STELLA: We never speak about

what happened in Belfast.

-(bell jingling)

-(quiet chatter)



Perhaps because beforehand

we were so full of hope.

-CHILD: Hi, Mrs. Gilmore.

-YOUNG STELLA: Hello.

(g*nshots)

(children screaming)



STELLA: But a single day can

change the course of any life.

(medical monitor beeping)

(babies crying)



Leaving Ireland,

leaving our home...

...alone,

unmoored, adrift.

-And now...

-GERRY: Five?

...we seem to have become

exiles from each other

and the promises we made.

(blows softly)

The promise I made.

Oh-oh, yes

I'm the great pretender

("The Great Pretender"

by The Platters playing)

Pretending that

I'm doing well

My need is such

I pretend too much

I'm lonely

(over radio):

But no one can tell...

Bye, then.

Bye, darling.

Sure I can't tempt you?

What's that?

(Stella chuckles)

I played the game

But to my real shame

-(door opens)

-You've left me

-(door closes)

-To grieve...

(dogs barking in distance)

CONGREGATION:

Snow had fallen

Snow on snow

Snow on snow...

PRIEST:

The body of Christ.

-James...

-Amen.

...chapter four,

verse 14 tells us

you do not even know

what will happen tomorrow.

What is your life?

You are a mist that appears

for a little while

and then vanishes.

On this night of the year

more than any other,

we are reminded

to cherish those...

STELLA: I just wanted to say,

have a lovely Christmas.

-Oh, happy Christmas, dear.

-Yeah, so nice to see you.

-Yeah.

-See you soon.

Okay.

Good night.

Happy Christmas to you.

-Merry Christmas.

-Good night.

(chuckling):

Oh, sorry.

(sighs, sniffs)

(groans, sniffs)

(locks clicking)

STELLA:

I'm back.

(chuckling):

It's freezing out there.

(Gerry snoring)

(sighs)

(snoring continues)

(classical music playing

faintly over headphones)

(sighs)

(faint, distant chatter)



(door opens)

(sets plate down)

(takes deep breath)

(printer whirring)

(choral music playing quietly)

STELLA:

It's ringing.

It's the answer machine.

-GERRY: Leave a message.

-Aye.

(phone beeps)

Hi, Michael.

It's Mum and Dad here.

Not sure what time it is

-where you are.

-GERRY: Merry Christmas, son.

Give Toby a kiss from Granddad.

(chuckles)

Just calling to see how you

and the family are settling in.

You know, first Christmas

in your new abode.

All right, well, uh,

we're around, so...

Lots of love.

(choral music continues

playing quietly)

What's this?

Surprise.

Don't tell me. Don't tell me.

(Stella chuckling)

Shoes.

(both chuckling)

It's a little something--

for both of us.

GERRY:

Amsterdam?

I thought it was time

for an adventure.

That's... fantastic.

(both laughing)

-(stammers) Flights, hotel?

-Mm.

You've outdone yourself,

Mrs. Gilmore.

Start the New Year off

with a bang.

You'd better believe it.

(both laughing)

(sighs) You and me.

Me and you.



GERRY: Do you have

the passports, or do I?

STELLA: Passports,

eye drops, phone charger.

All in your shoulder bag.

GERRY:

What about my special shampoo?

STELLA:

That, too.

Uh, what's the limit again?

That's six minutes.

Someone whose opinion I trust

once said I was flamboyant

wearing this.

I was never entirely sure

whether that was a good thing

or a bad thing.

Oh, no, the knot's all wrong.

-What?

-Here.

(Gerry sighs)

STELLA:

Right.

-(Stella giggling)

-Don't choke me.

-It's tempting.

-(laughing)

-All right.

-There.

-That's better.

-Yeah. That's good.

-Okay. I'll...

-Right.

Oh, that's seven minutes.

I'm calling them.

(car horn honking)

Uh, there's the taxi now.

Oh!

Right. Uh...

-Uh, case.

-Right.

-Is that everything?

-Uh, yeah. Think so.

Sure? (sighs)

(locks clicking)



(indistinct chatter)

Well, some people have

more luggage than sense.

There it is.

GERRY: Where did you say

the shampoo was again?

(indistinct chatter)

Sweet before takeoff, modom?

(chiming)

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: For

everyone's comfort and safety,

would you please place

all hand baggage

under the seats in front of you

or in the overhead lockers,

providing they will close.

Oh. Nearly forgot.

What?

-Stop you from being sick.

-How?

It's a wristband.

Someone at church

recommended them.

Presses on

your pulse point here.

I'd be better off

saying a prayer.

Please, God, don't make me

vomit on this flight.

(Gerry laughs)

-(bells chiming)

-(birds chirping)



(sighs)

-STELLA: All right?

-GERRY: Yeah.

STELLA:

Looks nice.

-GERRY: Hello.

-STELLA: Hello.

-RECEPTIONIST: Hello.

-GERRY: How are you?

RECEPTIONIST:

Welcome to Amsterdam.

STELLA:

Thank you.

-Oh. (sniffs)

-(Gerry clears throat)

(Stella chuckles)

-(sniffs)

-(bell dings)

Here we are.

(Gerry grunts)

STELLA:

Huh. Hard to tell.

GERRY:

Let's try this way.

Yeah, this is it.

(groans, sighs)

-Try the other one.

-(sighs)

-(beeps)

-BOTH: Oh.

-There you go. We're in.

-(laughs)

Let there be...

-...light.

-(chuckles)

Oh, very nice.

Oh.

It's bigger than I thought.

It's lovely.

GERRY:

Yeah.

STELLA: Oh, would you look

at that gray sky?

(horn honks in distance)

Maybe next time,

you book somewhere

in one of

the sunnier hemispheres?

(Stella chuckling)

Time to test the bed.

-(groans)

-(Stella chuckles)

-(sighs)

-How is it?

Hard as a brick runway.

(both laugh)

(sighs) Perfect.

In fact, uh...

I might have a wee snooze.

Oh, it's the middle

of the afternoon.

So?

So, you never take a nap

in the middle of the afternoon.

Yeah, but we're on holiday.

It's always different.

-You don't mind, do you?

-Oh, if you insist.

-Half an hour. No more.

-(both laughing)

Chocolate, sir?

Oh, thank you, modom.

(Stella chuckles)

(Gerry sighs)

Oh, lovely.

This is the life.

(Stella chuckles)

(Stella chuckles softly)



-Ooh.

-(both chuckle)

(elevator bell dings)

-Ah. Hello.

-Hello.

Good evening.

Um, could you recommend

somewhere not too pricey

-for a drink this evening?

-You are in the right place.

Amsterdam is

so full of options.

-Right.

-Oh.

(traffic light clicking rapidly)

-(distant siren)

-(lively chatter)

(bicycle bell dings)

("The Mermaid" by Folksurprise

playing)

And the ocean waves do roll

And the stormy winds

do blow...

STELLA: Trust you to find the

only Irish pub in Amsterdam.

God, a well-built ant

could piss more.

STELLA:

And that's a double.

You're learning.

k*lling you with kindness.

You and me.

Me and you.

This pretty mermaid

has warned me of our doom...

I suppose we're lucky

to have each other to ignore.

(laughs)

And the ocean waves do roll

And the stormy winds do blow

And we poor sailors

are skipping at the top...

The arrogance of amplification

in a space this size.

You used to like this one.

While the landlubbers

lie down below

This pretty mermaid

has warned me of our doom

We will sink to the bottom

of the sea

(singing along):

For me

And the ocean waves do roll

And the stormy winds do blow

(fading):

And we poor sailors...



GERRY: You know,

it's Ireland's greatest export:

a bullshit lesson

on how to enjoy yourself.

-That and the car b*mb.

-Oh, would you...

Would you come away

from the edge?

-Gives me the weirdest feeling.

-What does?

STELLA:

Come on.

-GERRY: All right.

-All right. Hold my arm.

You're a liability, you are.

(bathwater running

in other room)

(reporter speaking Dutch

over TV)

(bathwater continues running)



-(birds chirping)

-(children chattering faintly)

(chatter in Dutch over TV)

(bathwater continues running

in other room)

(bathwater stops)

(splashing in other room)



(TV continues in other room)

(Dutch chatter,

laughter over TV)

(water splashing in other room)

(bathwater draining

in other room)

(grunts softly)

(changes channel)

REPORTER (over TV):

Unlike the Provisional IRA,

the new IRA possesses

limited weaponry.

It's enough to mount a campaign

but not on the same scale

as the paramilitary groups

of the past.

Following its ceasefire in 1994,

the Provisional IRA

decommissioned

the bulk of its arsenal,

much of it supplied by Libya...

On and on it goes.

Aye.

Are you, uh, done in there?

Aye.

MAN (over TV): Forensic

examination has revealed

that some of the weapons seized

from dissident Republicans

trace back

to the original stockpiles

of the Provisional IRA.

There are some figures,

some senior leadership figures,

who never bought

into the peace process...

(TV continues quietly)

(TV shuts off)

S-Stella.

Have you seen my statins?

Stella.

My statins-- have you seen them?

(Gerry sighs)

Have you looked in the wash bag?

-Uh...

-(Stella sighs)

STELLA:

Mm. There.

Sorry.

(exhales sharply)

(breathing deeply)



(bell clangs)

STELLA:

It's a religious community.

GERRY:

A convent?

STELLA: Uh, no, uh,

more like a sanctuary.

I think it's that way.

GERRY:

You think or you know?

'Cause having a map and knowing

the way are not the same thing.

STELLA:

Oh, shush.

GERRY:

Here.

Behold.

The Begijnhof.

-In there?

-Mm.

-Lead on.

-(both chuckle)



(Stella sighs)

(chuckles)

(hushed):

It's home to some of the oldest

buildings in the city.

For women who wanted

to live alone.

A sisterhood

of unmarried Catholic women.

In the 1600s,

Catholic worship was...

was banned by the Protestant

powers that be.

Why are we whispering?

(Stella laughs)

Public mass wasn't allowed,

so they used to do it

in their own homes, you know?

In secret.

Yeah, which is why

it doesn't look like a church

-from the outside.

-It's camouflaged.

They lived like nuns but...

without all the...

all the vows and what have you.

Hmm.

Reminds me of

van Gogh's prison yard.

Nonsense.

Excuse me.

Uh, is-is the church open yet?

(Irish accent): Which church

were you hoping to see?

(laughing):

Oh, you're Irish.

-She's Irish.

-(Gerry chuckles)

Guilty as charged.

Waterford originally, but I've

lived all over, really.

County Derry.

From a townland

nobody's heard of

-in a place nobody knows.

-(chuckles)

Do you live here?

Oh, yes,

I'm one of the lucky ones.

And what brings you

to Amsterdam?

Well, um...

we're not getting

any younger, so...

-(chuckles)

-(Stella chuckling)

And tell me again,

which of the churches was it

you wanted to see?

The Catholic one.

Oh.

It's just through here.

Oh, thank you.

-Okay.

-Gerry.







GERRY:

"The miracle of Amsterdam."

Ye olde graphic novel.

"In the year 1345

in the city of Amsterdam,

a man lay dying in a house

on Kalverstraat."

Solid opening gambit.

"A priest came

and gave the man communion.

"After he had gone,

the sick man felt so unwell

that he vomited up

the sacred host..."

-Lovely.

-"...into a bowl."

That's really put me

in the mood for lunch.

"The man died the next morning,

and his maid,

"she threw the contents

of the bowl into the fire.

"However, the following day,

"when the maid checked

the fireplace...

"...there it was, the host...

...untouched by the flames."



The priest had this place built

to commemorate the miracle.

Which was?

The indestructible host.

Well, it seems a bit...

minor league as miracles go.

You know, a fireproof wafer.

You know as well as I do, Gerry,

that miracles come

in all shapes and sizes.

Stella, what happened to you

was not miraculous.

Right, it was perfectly within

the bounds of possibilit...



(bicycle bells dinging)

(speaking Dutch)

(case pops open)

GERRY: Every time I open

my glasses case nowadays,

I'm pleasantly surprised

to find my glasses.

Now, that's a miracle.

The model married couple.

I think you can see

how much he cherishes her.

Why is she protecting

her stomach?



(quiet chatter)

(Stella groans softly)

Everything all right?

Oh, my feet are throbbing.

I've been on my pegs

all morning.

Ah. You're not going

to chicken out, are you?

No, no. It's a pit stop.

Okay.

Look, I can't not see

The Night Watch, so...

-No.

-So, um, why don't we meet

in the caf in, uh...

-30 minutes for a bit of lunch?

-Sure.

Okay?

All right.

See ya.



(quiet chatter)

(Gerry exhales sharply)

That cold,

it would cut right through you.

(both sigh)

(Gerry groans)

(both sighing)

(Gerry grunts)

Ah, God.

STELLA:

Oh. (chuckles)

GERRY:

Oh, yeah. (chuckles)

(both continue sighing)

Would-would you look what

these socks have done to me.

Egg timer.

Look. Feel it.

Uh, no, I'm happy to forgo that

at the moment.

(Gerry groans)

Oh, God.

(Gerry grunting)

Stop it.

(groans) The only thing that

feels better than this is...

-You'll make it worse.

-(chuckling)

Oh, I know you shouldn't,

but when you give in, Stella...

-when you give in...

-You'll draw blood.

-(Gerry grunts)

-(Stella sighs)

(sighs)

Oh, that's better.

(breathing heavily)

What?

(Stella chuckles)

(Stella chuckles)

(Gerry grunts)

Help us with this, will you?

(both laughing)

Gerry?

Hmm?

Do you ever think about

where you'd like to be buried?

Other than with you, you mean?

At home or in Scotland, I mean.

Is Scotland not home?

What happens

when all of this stops?

Then...

there'll be no more.

And what'll be the point then?



-(bell tolling)

-(birds chirping)

(quiet chatter)

-(glass clinks)

-(drink pouring)

(grunts softly)

(drink pouring)

(water running)

-(loud thud, Stella gasps)

-GERRY: f*ck! Jesus!

-Stella! (groans)

-Yes, I'm coming, Gerry.

-I slipped.

-Oh, come on.

-(grunting)

-Come on.

It's all right. It's all right.

God... (laughing)

-Oh, God.

-It's no laughing matter.

All right.

Wait a minute.

Let's get this on you.

It's all right. It's all right.

(Gerry groaning, panting)

Get your legs over.

All right, come on.

One at a time.

(Gerry grunting)

I could've been a goner.

-Oh, shh. You're all right.

-(shuts off water)

-There. Oh.

-(groans, pants)

-There's no bath mat.

-Oh.

(Gerry breathing heavily)

Every bath should have

a rubber mat.

I know. I know.

Oh. Oh, you're all right.

Come on, now. Steady. Steady.

-Oh, you're shaking.

-(grunts)

-(continues breathing heavily)

-Good man. Good man.

Sorry.

I didn't mean to laugh.



-(groans softly)

-You all right?

Yeah, yeah.

(cork squeaks, pops)

GERRY:

Oh, just pour away.

-SERVER: Sure?

-GERRY: I'm sure it's fine.

Ah.

-STELLA and SERVER: Thank you.

-GERRY: Thanks.

(Stella clears throat)

Moderation in all things.

-Especially moderation.

-Moderation.

Mm.

(Gerry grunts softly)

There's something

I'd like to talk to you about.

Gerry, I'm tired of living

the way we do.

-(scoffs)

-I keep...

I keep f-feeling at a loose end,

you know, at home.

What with Michael gone,

and-and it doesn't sound like

there's going to be

any more grandchildren.

What's my role?

What if we've cut the cloth

of our lives all wrong?

There's too...

great a sense of drift.

And I keep thinking... I...

I keep thinking, Gerry,

that I-I...

I want to do something better.

What do you mean, better?

Better in what way?

I want to live

a more devout life.

It's an unfashionable word

nowadays, I know.

Well, there's nothing wrong

with you, is there?

Not in any physical sense, no.

No, no, yes, but hang on

a minute, Stella.

-Just hang on. No, it...

-No, no, no, there's nothing

wrong with me.

Gerry, calm yourself. No.

(Stella sighs)

But I'd like to make

an appointment.

You know, the place we...

we visited this morning.

Just to speak to someone.

I mean, the talk was

that it's a good place

for women like me who want

to live a more religious life.

A-A community

of like-minded women

interested in-in exploring

the big questions.

And there's somebody in there

with all the answers, is there?

These are questions

that you have to answer

for yourself, Gerry.

(Gerry scoffs, chuckles)

We should order. I'm famished.

(faucet running)

(faucet stops)

(Gerry continues brushing teeth)

-(brushing stops)

-(faucet running)

(Gerry grunts softly)

-(Gerry grunts)

-(faucet stops)

Did you take your statins?

Yeah.

(both sighing)

(Gerry sighs, grunts)

(birds squawking)





(Gerry sighs softly)

(quiet chatter)

Thank you.

(Gerry clears throat)

Uh, are you, um...

...any...

easier in your mind

about yesterday?

See, I'm trying to remember

what was said.

Unlucky with the weather,

haven't we?

-Stella.

-Let's eat. We should eat.

(bells chiming)

(bicycle bell dings)

(Gerry grunts softly)

(bicycle bell dinging)

Oh, she's thought of everything.

(quiet chatter)















(espresso machine

steam wand hissing)

What is it, love?

Do you remember

Schindler's List?

At the end?

The pebbles on the gravestones,

the little tokens?

I noticed something similar

at the end, on the wee shelf.

I used to do that book

with so many classes in school.

And so I thought... (chuckling)

I thought,

"Why don't I leave something?"

Yeah, and what's wrong

with that?

Oh, it's stupid.

-Says who?

-I've no right.

Why? It's a perfectly

legitimate gesture.

No, it's shameful is what it is.

-I'm not even Jewish.

-Ah, come on, Stella.

Don't take things so seriously.

Gerry, if you can't take

the Holocaust seriously...

You know what I mean, right?

You felt something, right?

You took action.

-You did a thoughtful thing.

-No. No.

I did a selfish thing

to make myself feel better.

There's a difference.

Why is anything spiritual

so impossible for you to grasp?

Cake?

Cake?

(sighs)



(birds chirping)

(breathing deeply)

BARMAN AIDAN:

How you doing?

GERRY:

Pint of stout. Thanks.

And a...

("Sideways to the Sun"

by Horslips playing quietly)

...large whiskey, no ice.

(drink pouring)

(breathing deeply)

Are you, uh, from Derry?

-Donegal?

-Derry.

GERRY: Ah.

I studied there for a while.

-Magee College.

-Oh, yeah?

Yeah. A bit before

your time, obviously.

Don't tell me.

Accountant?

Architect.

Same again?

To play old airs

We said we could

be friends...

GERRY:

Graduated in the mid-'70s,

and then as luck would have it,

Liam McCormick took me on.

He was a big architect

in Belfast back then.

And then they burnt the entire

bloody place to the ground.

Petrol b*mb.

No one was k*lled, thank God.

Aye, but all that work, though,

you know?

Years and years of hard work

up in smoke.

Ireland's fight

for f*cking freedom.

It wasn't long after that

that we left.

To?

(sucks teeth) Glasgow.

Miss it much?

Work?

Home.



You know, um...

we used to have

these scale models.

There was, uh,

cars the size of Dinky Toys.

Trees as small as

those little cotton buds.

You know?

Tiny figurines.

Mini churches,

libraries, streets.

Windows were made

out of cellophane.

They were minuscule.

They were dis-architects,

those fellas.

The end of human decency,

in the name of religion.

I can still smell it.

The black char.

(drink pouring from tap)

Yes, they certainly leveled

my career, anyway.

Strictly third division

after that.

("The Old Rustic Bridge" by Big

Tom and the Mainliners playing)

-That was on a good day.

-Hmm.

Ah, would you look

at the dome on that.

(chuckles)

Norman Foster,

eat your heart out.

(chuckles)

Though now far away

Still my thoughts

fondly stray

To the old rustic bridge

by the mill...

Taste...

texture, temperature, perfect.

(chuckles softly)

Some people say

the black stuff transforms you,

you know, brings out

the worst in you.

Not me.

-I love people.

-(chuckles softly)

I've always loved people.

I'm a people person.

(both chuckling)

(lively chatter

and laughter outside)



Stella.

Do you know what

I'd like to do tonight?

What?

Something fun.

(lively chatter)

GERRY: The railwaymen would

leave their burning lanterns

outside the bordello doors.

Red lanterns.

-Red-light district.

-STELLA: Charming.

Oh.

I hesitate to say

what turns me on,

but this certainly isn't it.

I just feel so sorry for them.

Aye.

The lighting is awful.

(chuckles) I know.

That's UV lighting.

The same thing the butchers

used to use to k*ll the flies.

(both laughing)

I know.

("Uit M'n Bol" by Andr Hazes

playing)

(song continues

with singing in Dutch)

GERRY:

An ant could piss more.

Before you English had gin,

we had jenever.

I'm not English.

With a beer, it's very good.

(conversation continues

indistinctly)

Here we go.

-There.

-Oh.

What are we drinking?

-Jenever.

-What?

Jenever.

First you drink the beer,

then you drink the, uh...

-Jenever?

-Jenever.

-Ha.

-Cheers.

Cheers.

Ah.

-(sets glass down)

-(Stella exhales)

(laughing):

Holy Mary, Mother of God.

(both laughing)

Same again?

(Stella laughing)

What bliss to be away

from all that noise.

Aye.

(Stella laughing)

(bell tolling)

-(gasps) Gerry.

-Huh?

STELLA:

Look.

Come on.

(horse huffing softly)



(horse huffing softly)

Oh, you're beautiful.





(Stella chuckles)

-(bells chiming)

-(birds squawking)

(rustling in other room)

-(Gerry sighs)

-Morning.

What's that for?

Body.

Think it would do anything

for my body?

(Stella grunts softly)

What's the occasion?

Oh, thought I'd go back

to the Begijnhof again.

The vomiting miracle place?

Uh, d-do you want me

to go with you?

No, thank you. Mm.



STELLA:

Oh.

(clears throat)

Good morning.

I wonder if you could help me.

(Hennie speaking Dutch)

Oh.

Thank you. (clears throat)

(typing)

(quiet chatter)

(breathing deeply)

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Uh, uh,

I have a plane to catch.

-A flight.

-Please sit.

No, no. (stammers)

-Is there anyone else that I...

-Hello again.

-Oh, hello.

-(both chuckling)

-Um... Sorry, just...

-Oh, sorry. No, no, no.

(Kathy and Hennie

conversing in Dutch)

-Hi. Um...

-Hi.

I'm sorry.

Hennie is very busy right now.

But maybe I can help you

with something?

That would be lovely, yeah.

My house is just down there.

Right.

(sighs)

The gardens are

so beautifully kept.

KATHY (chuckling):

Yeah.

In the summer,

they're extraordinary.

Especially in the evenings,

with the night-scented stock.

Oh.

It's so quiet.

KATHY: It's a meter lower

than the outside world.

The noise goes over

its head somehow.

This is me here.

Oh.

(Stella chuckles)

(lock clicking)

(traffic light clicking rapidly)



Stairway to heaven.

The only disadvantage is

when you want a grand piano.

Maybe stick to the violin.

(Kathy chuckling)

Oh, it's lovely.

Minimalist.

Sit yourself down.

I'll make us some tea.

Thank you.

("Something in the Air"

by Thunderclap Newman playing)

Lock up the streets

and houses

Because there's

something in the air

We've got to get together

sooner or later

Because

the revolution's here

And you know it's right

And you know

that it's right...

KATHY: So, what can I do

for you, Stella?

STELLA:

Well, um...

Oh, do you need sugar?

-Uh, no, thank you.

-Oh.

I suppose I just wanted

to make an inquiry.

I was in Amsterdam

some 30-odd years ago.

KATHY:

Mm-hmm?

Teacher training conference.

Are you a teacher, Stella?

-I was.

-Me, too.

Oh. (laughs)

For years, I was an Irishwoman

living in Scotland

teaching English.

An Irishwoman in the Netherlands

teaching comparative religion

and maths.

(chuckling):

Oh. Right.

Well, that was when

I first heard about it.

You know, the setup here.

Ah...

But back then, uh,

there was no urgency.

What's the urgency now?

I want to live

a more valuable life, Kathy.

To make a contribution.

However small.

You know, so...

I suppose, really,

I just wanted to find out

about the life here, you know.

How someone like me

might go about applying

to become part of this.

This?

The order.

The sisterhood.

(sighs) Stella, I don't know

where you've been getting

your information from, but...

there's no religious order now.

Not anymore.

There hasn't been a sister

living here since 1971.

(stammers softly)

What is there?

Affordable living

for anyone who can afford it.

(stammers softly)

So the sisterhood is

a figment of my imagination?

No. The sisterhood is real.

But the religious aspect...

the religious aspect

has all but disappeared.

So I've got this all wrong.

It's possible still

for women to live here.

The only criteria is that

you must be prepared

to live by yourself.

Older than 30, younger than 65.

That rules me out, then.

Oh, no.

I don't believe it.

The other hitch

is that I'm married.

(sighs)

Though I'm not sure how much

marriage we've got left in us.

("Something in the Air"

continues)

Lock up the streets...

Can I ask you...

Are-are you...

A Catholic?

Right.

Do you still practice?

You know, prayer and so forth?

(chuckles softly)

Kathy, I... I want

to tell you something.

(chuckling): It-it's something

I've never really told anyone.

I was involved in an accident.

This was years ago.

It was our first summer together

as husband and wife.

I was pregnant.

I mean, very, very,

heavily pregnant.

It was unseasonably hot.

Uh, too hot for tights, anyway.

(chuckles)

Somebody was ambushing

somebody else.

I'm not sure how long

I'd been running for,

but all of a sudden,

running became falling,

and falling became...

not moving.

Sprawled.

At first,

I worried that I'd wet myself.

And then I-I thought, you know,

it-it must be my-my waters.

You know,

my waters must have broken.

-KATHY: Mm-hmm.

-(Stella sniffles)

But then, of course, I realized.

So I said a prayer.

As I lay there on the street

not-not-not knowing

one way or the other

what was going to happen.

(crying): I said the only

prayer I could remember.

As an act of contrition,

and I-I knew that wasn't right.

I knew that wasn't

what I wanted.

I mean, that's to save yourself.

I knew that,

and I wanted to save my baby.

So I said...

I said, "Lord...

"spare the child

inside my womb...

...and I will devote

the rest of my life to you."

"Lord, let my baby live,

"and I will devote

the rest of my life...

...to you."

Now...

...either it was a miracle

or, as Gerry would say,

the wee one must have ducked,

but the b*llet passed

right through me,

in one side and out the other.

The only damage was that

I wouldn't be able to have

any more children.

But that vow...

that pledge...

Kathy, that bargain...

...there is a debt to be paid,

and I've been looking for a way

to pay it ever since.

I've never breathed

a word of this to-to anyone,

not even to Gerry.

(sobbing):

But here I am...

...at my age, and...

...and I've failed.

I'm a failure.

(shuddering breaths)

("The 7 Last Words of Jesus

Christ Sonata IV. Largo" plays)













(breath trembling softly)

(door opens)

-(vehicle engine idling)

-(vehicle door opens, closes)

(hotel door closing)



-(waves crashing)

-(birds squawking)

-(waves crashing)

-(birds squawking)

(camera shutter clicks)



(music ends)

You still haven't told me

how your meeting went.

No, I don't suppose I have.

WOMAN (over P.A.):

...are ready for you to proceed

to departure gate number 42.

(electronic chiming over P.A.)

MAN (over P.A.): If you see

any unattended luggage

or anything suspicious,

please contact

a member of staff immediately.

(announcement continues

in Dutch)

(rummaging)

(twists cap off bottle)

(twists cap on bottle)

(grunts softly)

You'll do yourself damage.

As if you would care.

-Pardon?

-You heard me.

Oh, Jesus, give me peace.



(electronic chiming over P.A.)

(indistinct announcement

over P.A.)

-Oh, for God's sake.

-Oh.



(quiet chatter)

Here.

(Gerry grunts)

(sighs)

Gerry, when we get home...

I'd like to put the flat up

for sale, and...

and then I want to get

a place of my own.

You'd be better off

waiting till summer.

More chance of getting

a better price.

Gerry, you're not

listening to me.

I can't go on

living the way we do.

I won't.

(takes deep breath)

I mean, the drinking.

If I mention it, I'm a nag.

If I don't, then I'm complicit.

Do you not think I don't see it?

Smell it?

Yes, I suppose you could go on

doing it behind my back

until you've no liver left.

(Gerry clears throat softly)

But it's not just the drinking.

It-it's the deception

that goes along with it.

It's ruining you.

Says you.

Well, it's ruining me,

that's for sure.

I wouldn't know about that.

You used to be so considerate.

What's happened to you?

These days, you're...

you're nothing but appetite.

Okay. Fine, then.

I'll stop, okay?

-Right? No, I will. I'll quit.

-(sighs)

-Oh, Gerry.

-No, look, I mean it.

(stammering): If you're serious

about this, then I am, too.

-I've heard it all before.

-(stammering): No, look.

I-I can do it, okay?

I... We can... I...

(sighs) I can change.

I mean, I gave up

the cigarettes, didn't I?

You think I don't know

how to change?

Huh?

You think I-I don't know

what this stuff is doing to me?

Sure, I hate myself as much

as you do when I'm drinking.

Well, then, why in God's name

do you put yourself through it?

Because I hate myself even more

when I'm not.

What about my faith?

(sighs) What about it?

-We believe in different things.

-So?

I mean, we've always known that.

But it's gotten

so much worse, Gerry.

I mean... the mockery.

No, I have never

mocked you, Stella.

Oh, well, if that's not mockery,

then I don't know what is.

It's-it's a debate, right?

We're... No, we're talking

about debating the...

the-the greatest deception

that we've known

-in our entire lives.

-No. No.

(voice shaking):

We are talking about...

-...respect.

-(scoffs)

Stella.

The joking

and the poking fun and...

the derision and scorn.

I mean, it-it...

It's like you-you have no idea

how much you hurt me and...

Or maybe you do and you just

don't care anymore.

I'm not sure which is worse.

Surely, Stella, then I have

to be allowed my truth.

The truth.

You're doing it again.

-You're dismissing me.

-(stammers)

(Gerry sighs)

(crying): All I want

is to feel close, you know?

It's too much.

(sniffles)





(quiet chatter)

(electronic chiming over P.A.)

WOMAN (over P.A.):

Attention, all passengers

for flight BM1463 to Glasgow...

-(announcement fades)

-(grunts softly)

It's still chucking it down.

Sweet, modom?

Stella.

Uh...

My being with you is

the most wonderful thing

there is.

I adore you.

And when I think of the future,

all I think about is you.

And I wish I had been there

with you in Belfast,

and I know that I'll never

be able to share

in what happened to you

that day.

But, um...

I-I-I won't ever...

be able to accept

your version of events,

and I'll tell you why.

Because...

passing through this world

beside you,

that's the real miracle.

The miracle is you.

(sighs softly)

Uh...



Look.

Is that a plane?

STELLA:

It's not moving.

I think it's the morning star.

Do you think

we'll ever get away?

(Stella chuckles softly)

We can only hope.







("This Time Tomorrow"

by The Kinks playing)

This time tomorrow

Where will we be?

On a spaceship somewhere

Sailing across an empty sea

This time tomorrow

What will we know?

Will we still be here

Watching an in-flight

movie show?

I'll leave the sun behind me

And I'll watch the clouds

As they sadly pass me by

Seven miles below me

I can see the world

And it ain't so big at all

Well, this time tomorrow

What will we see?

Fields full of houses

Endless rows

of crowded streets

I don't know where I'm going

I don't want to see

I feel the world below me

-Looking up

-Looking up, looking up

Looking up at me

Leave the sun behind me

And I'll watch the clouds

As they sadly pass me by

And I'm in perpetual motion

And the world below

Doesn't matter much to me

Well, this time tomorrow

Where will we be?

On a spaceship somewhere

Sailing across an empty sea

Well, this time tomorrow

This time tomorrow

Where will we be?

(song ends)